Get Your Marriage On! with Dan Purcell

Latest Episodes:

334: Q&A - Sexless Marriage, Breast Sex, Higher-Desire Wives, and Is This Fair? Nov 06, 2026

Show notes

Q&A - Sexless Marriage, Breast Sex, Higher-Desire Wives, and Is This Fair?

Is it normal to have simultaneous orgasms? What happens when erectile dysfunction leaves a couple in a sexless marriage? And what do you do when one spouse wants more adventure in the bedroom than the other?

In this Q&A episode of Get Your Marriage On, Dan Purcell answers real questions from listeners about sexual pleasure, desire differences, and navigating the challenges of married intimacy.

Here's what we're talking about:

Simultaneous orgasms: Are they realistic, and should couples even aim for them?
Sexless marriages: How can couples rebuild closeness when erectile dysfunction and years without sex have left them feeling like roommates?
Breast sex: Practical considerations for making this playful experience comfortable and enjoyable for both spouses.
Higher-desire wives: What happens when the wife wants sex more often than her husband?
Bedroom fairness: Is it fair when one spouse wants to explore new things sexually, but the other prefers to keep things familiar?

Throughout the episode, Dan emphasizes that a fulfilling sex life isn't about meeting someone else's standard. It's about learning to communicate, growing together, and creating experiences that are genuinely pleasurable for both spouses.

Resources Mentioned

For higher-desire wives:

Additional resources:

Episode 33: Carly Palmer Webb on sexual pleasure and orgasms
Mindset by Carol Dweck — the growth mindset concept discussed in this episode
Intimately Us app: Explore the Sexploration Menu, bedroom ideas, and step-by-step instructions for positions like the "Bread Basket." https://r.intimately.us
Get Your Marriage On events and retreats: https://getyourmarriageon.com

Have a question you'd like Dan to answer in a future episode? Visit https://getyourmarriageon.com or join our Christian Couples Improving Sex and Intimacy Facebook group to connect with the community.

333: Clean vs. Dirty Signals in Mismatched Sexual Desire with Dr. Corey Allan Oct 30, 2026

Show notes

What if the way you're trying to create more intimacy in your marriage is actually making your spouse want it less?

When one spouse wants sex more often than the other, it's easy to get stuck in a frustrating cycle. One person pursues, the other withdraws, and both end up feeling misunderstood, pressured, or rejected.

In this episode, Dan Purcell sits down with Dr. Corey Allan, host of Sexy Marriage Radio, to explore the difference between clean and dirty signals in marriage—and how both spouses can unknowingly make desire differences harder.

Being clear about what you want isn't necessarily the same as being clean about it.

Dirty signals might look like subtle punishment after rejection, withdrawing affection, avoiding uncomfortable conversations, or making promises of future intimacy that aren't genuine.

Dan and Corey discuss how these patterns develop, why both higher- and lower-desire spouses have a role to play, and what it looks like to take responsibility for your own reactions rather than trying to control your spouse.

You'll also learn practical ways to communicate your desires more honestly, navigate disappointment without resentment, and repair the connection when things don't go well.

Resources mentioned:

Dr. Corey Allan's free healthy marriage course: https://smr.fm/gofirst

Marriage retreats and coaching: https://getyourmarriageon.com

332: BONUS — Marriage Undressed: Obligation Sex, Overcoming Shame, and Rebuilding Intimacy Oct 27, 2026

Show notes

What do you do when intimacy starts to feel like an obligation? How do you rebuild desire when anxiety, stress, or past experiences get in the way? And how can you talk about what you really want without making your spouse feel criticized?

In this special bonus episode, Dan is joined by licensed professional counselor and certified sex therapist Dr. Lisa Elieson for a recording of our live Marriage Undressed Q&A!

They answer real questions from married couples about some of the most personal and challenging parts of sexual intimacy:

Why having sex doesn't always mean feeling connected
How stress and anxiety can interfere with sexual desire
What to do when intimacy feels like another item on the to-do list
Overcoming sexual shame and negative messages from the past
Navigating differences in sexual preferences and comfort levels
Rebuilding intimacy after rejection, resentment, or obligation sex
How to communicate your needs without criticizing your spouse
Maintaining connection when health challenges change your relationship
Why your love languages may change over time

Whether you're struggling with desire differences, trying to reconnect, or simply wanting to understand your spouse better, this conversation is full of practical insights to help you build a more connected, playful, and fulfilling marriage.

Want to take your intimacy to the next level?

Join us November 6–7 for our upcoming Virtual Intimacy Getaway, where we'll guide you and your spouse through a new approach to slow, mindful lovemaking.

You can also learn about our upcoming couples retreat in Southern Utah and our marriage coaching programs.

Find all the details at https://getyourmarriageon.com/next-levels-virtual-lovemaking-retreat/

331: How to Get Out of Your Head and Actually Enjoy Sex Oct 23, 2026

Show notes

Have you ever been intimate with your spouse, but instead of enjoying the moment, you're stuck in your head?

Wondering if they're enjoying it, worrying about your performance, or feeling pressure to make everything go just right?

What if all that effort to make intimacy better is actually making it worse?

In this episode, Dan shares a surprisingly vulnerable story from his own marriage about how his determination to be a great lover backfired—and what finally changed things for him and Emily.

You'll discover why trying harder isn't always the answer, what might be getting in the way of the connection you crave, and how to get back to truly enjoying each other.

Want to take your connection even deeper? Join Dan and Emily for their Virtual Lovemaking Retreat, November 6–7, where you'll learn to slow down and experience intimacy in a whole new way.

https://getyourmarriageon.com/next-levels-virtual-lovemaking-retreat/

330: Your Marriage Needs an Adult Playground (Here's How to Build One), with Tammy Camp. Oct 16, 2026

Show notes

Has sex started to feel more like a responsibility than something you actually look forward to?

Somewhere along the way, many couples stop playing together. Sex becomes serious, intimacy feels like work, and differences in desire create pressure instead of connection.

In this episode, Dan sits down with returning guest and relationship coach Tammy Camp to talk about building an adult playground in your marriage—a place where both spouses feel free to explore, laugh, and enjoy each other.

You'll discover why play matters in a healthy sexual relationship, how to bring back the fun when you have different desires, and simple ways to make intimacy feel less like an obligation and more like an invitation.

Because great intimacy isn't just about what you do together. It's about how you feel together.

Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

329: Do Christians Really Have Bad Sex Lives? (What the Data Actually Shows) Oct 09, 2026

Show notes

Do Christians really have worse sex lives—or is that just a story we've been told?

After seeing conflicting claims online, Dan went straight to the data. What he found was surprising: churchgoing couples are having slightly more sex than those who rarely attend religious services—but both groups are having significantly less sex than couples did a generation ago.

So what's really going on?

In this episode, Dan separates Christian theology from the cultural messages about sex many of us grew up with. He shares three beliefs from Christian faith that can support a healthy, fulfilling sex life, plus three practical ways to build more intimacy, pleasure, play, and connection in your marriage.

You'll also learn how to recognize beliefs about sex that may have come from culture rather than your faith—and why your faith might actually be one of your greatest advantages in building the sex life you want.

Resources

Virtual Retreat (November 6-7, 2026)

In-person Couples Retreat (April 7-11, 2027)

Our apps

328: Five Steps to Having Juicy Sex in Long-term Marriages, with Dr. Emily Jamea Oct 02, 2026

Show notes

What if your sex life is good—but you still sense there could be something more?

Sex therapist Dr. Emily Jamea kept hearing this question from couples who had overcome their sexual struggles but still longed for the passion and intensity they once felt. Her search for answers led her to study sexual flow—the experience of becoming so immersed in intimacy that distractions disappear and time seems to stand still.

In this episode, Dr. Emily shares five research-backed skills that can help couples move beyond "good enough" and experience deeper connection, greater pleasure, and sex that may be even better than the honeymoon stage.

Want help putting these ideas into practice? Get my free eight-page guide to the five steps of sexual flow here.

Register for one of our retreat options: Virtual Retreat or In-Person Retreat Check out Dr. Emily Jamea's book: The Art of Desire

327: Dreading "Are We Having Sex Tonight?" Try the Menu Mindset Instead Sep 25, 2026

Show notes

Has sex in your marriage become a yes-or-no question: "Are we having sex tonight?"

For one spouse, that question may bring hope and anticipation. For the other, it may feel like a test they're about to pass or fail. When every flirtation, touch, or attempt at closeness seems tied to one expected outcome, both spouses may eventually stop reaching for each other.

In this episode, Dan shares how this pass-or-fail dynamic affected his own marriage and introduces a different approach: the "menu mindset." You'll learn three practical ways to create more choice, flexibility, and genuine desire in your intimate relationship—without denying what you want or waiting for your spouse to change first.

You'll learn how to:

• Build a broader menu of physical and emotional connection • Replace "Are we having sex tonight?" with a better question • Respond to disappointment without withdrawing or applying pressure • Make intimacy feel more playful, pleasurable, and freely chosen

Resources

Get the Intimacy Menu in the Intimacy Vault--only available until September 30!

323: Roommate Marriage Episode

321: Why Your Libido Disappeared After the Honeymoon

Next Level Couples Coaching Program

Couples Retreat (April 2027)

326: Stop Having "Baseball Sex" (Do This Instead), with Dr. Lisa Elieson Sep 18, 2026

Show notes

Does sex in your marriage ever feel like a race toward intercourse or orgasm? Dr. Lisa Elieson calls this "baseball sex"—rushing around the bases instead of enjoying where you are. In this episode, she joins Dan to explore sexuality as a creative art: something two people build together, moment by moment, without knowing exactly where it has to lead. You'll learn how slowing down, letting go of a predetermined outcome, and making room for each partner's unique desires can reduce pressure and create more pleasure, connection, and play. They also discuss the anxiety both higher- and lower-desire spouses may carry, why emotional safety matters, and what it means to become emotionally as well as physically naked with your spouse.

Want more practical help creating intimacy that works for both of you? The 2026 Intimacy Vault includes our brand new interactive Intimacy Menu, along with Dr. Lisa Elieson's Common Gender Differences in Desire and more than a dozen other resources for deeper emotional and sexual connection. It's only available through September 30, so explore the Vault while you can.

Other Resources:

Learn more about Lisa on her website

Check out our couples retreat coming up this spring!

Check out our intimacy and relationship apps!

325: The More You Pursue, the More They Pull Away: Breaking the Intimacy Cycle with Dr. Laurie Watson Sep 11, 2026

Show notes

The more you pursue your spouse for emotional or sexual connection, the more they seem to pull away—and the harder you try, the worse it gets. Certified sex therapist Dr. Laurie Watson explains why couples get trapped in this pursue-withdraw cycle and how vulnerable, blame-free conversations can begin to change it. We also discuss why trading emotional connection for sex backfires, what women's bodies actually need for pleasure, and why securely attached couples often have the most—and most varied—sex.

Resources:

Laurie's New Book: Brave Love, Great Sex

Couples Retreat

Next Level Couples Coaching

Our apps