Freedom from Attachment

Latest Episodes:

#588 Freedom from Attachment: Receiving Is Not a Weakness Aug 10, 2021

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You consider yourself a strong person. When a challenge presents itself, you tackle it head-on. People come to you for answers because you always seem to have them. You pick others up when they fall. You’re reliable and trustworthy. But to be that pillar of strength, you push your emotions aside because you can’t be someone else’s hero if they see a crack in your armor. And therein lies the problem. We have been brought up to believe that giving is strong and receiving is weak. But that’s backwards. Asking for help and being able to receive takes courage. Allowing others to see you as human is what strong people do. In this week’s episode I’ll challenge you to explore why being “strong” is important to you, and where you struggle to receive. Because you can’t give or receive love freely if you’re emotionally shut down. When you open your heart to others and allow them to see your vulnerability, you radiate strength. WISDOM NUGGET (#wisdomnugget) The hole in your suit of armor is inside of you. Allow it to exist without being strong so you connect with yourself and others.

#587 Moving On to a Healthy and Thriving Life! Laurie Gerber Aug 04, 2021

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Born of a spiritual-seeking mother and knowledge-seeking father, Laurie Gerber grew up fascinated by the human experience and what makes people tick. She became an educational consultant who matched students with tutors, but realized she was less interested in helping students achieve academic success than she was in helping them deal with their suffering. To better define her goals and excel in her career, Laurie started working with a coach. That’s when she realized how much of her entire life—not just professionally—was spent anesthetized, simply going through the motions. Using The Handel Method, which is what she now teaches, Laurie saw the disconnect between her dreams and her reality. Join me as Laurie shares how she reconnected with her husband and what she envisioned for herself as a kid by getting vulnerable and speaking her truth. Today she teaches practical tools on how to dream, bust excuses, action plan for the future, build Personal Integrity® and, most importantly, the art of honesty. “If we are not being true to ourselves, we’re never going to be loved because WE will not be there to be loved.” --Laurie Gerber Take the free Current Reality quiz at: https://www.handelgroup.com/crq/ Learn more about Laurie and The Handel Group: https://www.handelgroup.com/ Facebook- @HGLifeCoaching Instagram- @Lauriegerber_coach Twitter- @HGLifeCoaching

#586 Freedom from Attachment: Your Dreams Aren’t Dead, They Might Just Look Different Aug 03, 2021

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What happened to your dreams? Did you give up on them? Or are you still waiting for them to happen, hoping that “someday” is right around the corner? Maybe what you wanted did show up, but it didn’t fulfill you. The thing about dreams is, they don’t always show up how and when you expect them to, and they don’t just fall in your lap. They require a combination of surrender and action. But not just any action; it has to be intentional, emotional action. Empty action, which is numb and devoid of emotion, may make your “dream” happen, but if you’re not connected to it, does it really bring fulfillment? Dreams evolve, and they are not reserved for the lucky few… or the young. You can be someone who makes your life what you want it to be by aligning your emotions and actions. In this week’s episode we’ll look at common obstacles to realizing your dreams, and what to do differently. I’ll share a writing exercise to reveal your patterns and where you place your focus. It’s one I have used in my own life. Your dreams are still viable and achievable. You may just need to change course a bit and keep your eyes open to what they look like now. WISDOM NUGGET (#wisdomnugget) Dreams come true in different packages, at different times. And through allowing yourself to think, feel and be in a place you’ve never been.

#585 Freedom from Attachment: I'm an Angry Buzzard When I Don't Get My Way. Can I Stop? Jul 27, 2021

Show notes

Do you get exceptionally angry when a restaurant server gets your order wrong, or when plans change at the last minute, or when customer service won’t fix your problem? We’re not talking mild frustration (those situations can be annoying!), but rather deep seated anger that is triggered into an explosion. Perhaps you yell at the other person, blaming them for what you’re unhappy with. Or maybe you’re one of those people who smiles on the outside while seething on the inside. Where does this anger come from? Can it be stopped? And who are you actually angry with? Blaming other people or circumstances for your anger is easier than dealing with your deeper emotions, but it’s not a peaceful way to live. It makes you a powerless victim and creates distance in relationships. In this week’s podcast we’ll look at how to deal with anger, including taking responsibility for your choices. Anger can be tough to admit, but once you own it, you can work on letting it go and take your power back. Releasing it will set you free. WISDOM NUGGET (#wisdomnugget) Own your anger and then own your choices. You will find your peaceful self.

#584 Are My Thoughts Creating My Reality? If So, My Love Life Might Be Screwed! Jul 20, 2021

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You have probably heard some version of “what you think, you create.” Meaning your thoughts create your reality. If your love life feels like a train wreck (or any part of your life, really), this can be a scary idea. Are you creating the situation you don’t want by ruminating on negative thoughts? By constantly thinking there are no “good ones” out there, are you actually making it true? Well… yes and no. Thoughts play a role, but they are not the only factor. Trying to simply stop the thoughts or replace them with positive affirmations doesn’t make them go away. It runs much deeper than that. In this week’s podcast we’ll talk about everything that exists between thoughts and actions, and where to focus if you want to change your situation. Believing your reality is only caused by your thoughts is limiting and untrue. If you want to change what isn’t working, you need to look at your emotions, beliefs, motivation, words and actions that stem from your thoughts. The good news is if you do this, you absolutely can change your life! WISDOM NUGGET (#wisdomnugget) Don’t worry about what you think. Pay attention to your feelings, actions and motivation because THAT is creating your life.

#583 Moving On with Kristina Mand-Lakhhiani Jul 14, 2021

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Kristina Mand-Lakhiani was born in the Soviet Union where entrepreneurship was punishable by law and everyone was given the same “manual” for success. By the age of 40 she had an Instagrammable life with a husband, son and daughter, yet she became annoyed when people asked about her children or husband, as if she herself wasn’t important. Guilt followed because she had a great life and “shouldn’t feel that way,” a belief she finally started to question and explore. It took courage for Kristina to be honest with herself and discover who she was behind her mask of perfection, but the harder part was taking action, which meant separating from her husband and disappointing the people around her. “Society’s idea of success and your personal idea of your happiness are not the same thing.” --Kristina Mand-Lakhiani Today Kristina is an international speaker, entrepreneur, artist, philanthropist and mother. She also co-founded of Mindvalley, a science-based learning platform for human transformation and entrepreneurship. Join me as Kristina shares her insights on happiness, courage and authenticity. And don’t miss the wisdom nugget she received from the Dalai Lama when she asked him about happiness! Learn more about Kristina and Mindvalley: Website: home_ Website: Mindvalley | The Premier Personal Growth Learning Platform IG: https://www.instagram.com/kristinamand/ FB: https://www.facebook.com/kristinamand YouTube: Kristina Mand-Lakhiani

#582 Freedom from Attachment: I Have My Act Together, so Why Do I Feel Like Such a Mess? Jul 13, 2021

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You sure do have your act together. You look great, take care of yourself and project an air of confidence. Success has always been an important focus, and “slowing down” isn’t in your vocabulary. People may admire you and compliment your achievements, but there’s just one tiny little problem—you feel like an imposter. You’re afraid of people getting close to you because if they do, they might see behind the curtain and realize you’re way more of a mess than they thought. As a result, your personal life is either dysfunctional or nonexistent. Your drive isn’t actually success, it’s fear of abandonment. If people see your flaws, they might leave. And if you go a level deeper, you’ll discover there is actually something about yourself you find unacceptable. So the mask goes on and the charade continues. Unfortunately you can’t live a full life when you are emotionally hiding. In this week’s episode we’ll dive into the importance you place on your exterior, and what drives your fear. When you start confronting your fears instead of avoiding them, you dismantle them brick by brick. And what you uncover is emotional freedom. WISDOM NUGGET (#wisdomnugget) Drop the façade and be you with no act, no barbed wire and a welcome sign to love!

#581 Journey of Attachment: The Counterintuitive Secret to Being “Enough” Jul 06, 2021

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Do you surround yourself with cool, successful or impressive people to feel like you embody those qualities by association? How many of those friends do you stay in touch with and make plans to get together while they put forth little-to-no effort? When you don’t feel valued, one way to fill that emptiness is to work hard at relationships that would probably fall apart without your effort. Your pattern of trying to prove your worth exhausts you, and any feelings of worthiness are temporary. Unfortunately you can’t force yourself to believe you are enough. But you can recognize all the ways you don’t believe it by your actions… and then change your behavior. What are you doing and why? Is it authentic, or is it coming from a place of lack? Affirmations and simply proclaiming, “I am enough!” don’t work if you don’t believe it. Listen to this week’s podcast to learn what to do instead. It may be counterintuitive, but it will move you out of resistance so you can begin the deeper work. Wisdom Nugget (#wisdomnugget) Being enough is a decision, followed by more choices in your favor.

#580 Journey of Attachment: 3 Steps To Loving Yourself; You're Not a Project Jun 29, 2021

Show notes

Did you grow up feeling you were too much, not enough, too nice, too cold, too sensitive, too shy, too annoying, too inquisitive or too ANYTHING? Basically, instead of being loved for your whole self, did you feel like you were simply tolerated? Maybe you wondered, throughout your life, if people even liked being around you because those too much/not enough beliefs were always with you. So, to move from tolerance to love, you worked hard to prove yourself worthy of someone else’s company. And did those people (intimate partners, friends, family members, etc.) treasure you for the wonderful human you are? Probably not. Why? Because you didn’t treasure you. Self-love isn’t simply about spa visits, eating healthy, working out or treating yourself to a new outfit. It is attention, connection and awareness to yourself. And you cultivate it by slowing down, feeling your feelings and choosing what makes you happy. When you love yourself, you have compassion for who you are, what you are and why you are. And that is where true love with someone else begins… because love from another person won’t feel good unless you feel it for yourself first. In this week’s podcast I’ll share three questions to ask yourself to shift from external “give-it-to-me” love to true self-love. You deserve more, but to get it, you have to step up and show yourself some love. WISDOM NUGGET (#wisdomnugget) Self-love comes from all the in-between moments not the pinnacles! Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

#579 The Journey of Attachment: Attraction to Unavailable People Jun 22, 2021

Show notes

You attract people exactly where you are. If you’re unavailable, you will attract someone who is unavailable. To attract open, you must BE open. People who are attracted to emotionally unavailable people are attached to UNREALISTIC outcomes, and their idea of a good partner is narrow—as in they need to fit the perfect picture. Maybe you want to meet someone so you don’t spend the holidays alone, providing a very limited opening for what you will accept. Even people who have done work on themselves can be drawn to emotionally unavailable people because it’s familiar. It stems from our negative beliefs, particularly “I am alone” and “there is not really enough.” We often look for evidence our beliefs are true, so we attract painful partners. As with everything, the first step is awareness. To move toward available, notice what you’re normally drawn to. What checklists do you have? Forget your “type” and pay attention to how certain attractive qualities feel to you. Where do you feel connected when you are with someone? Look for what you usually dismiss (i.e. values). Get to know yourself while being with people (without expectations) and see how you feel about them. Have a conversation without it needing to lead somewhere. Trying to make something happen doesn’t work, so relax and catch yourself if you start picking people apart. You never know when someone will show up, so stay open to possibility. It’s not about control; it’s about surrender. Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

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