Football Cliches

Latest Episodes:

The Adjudication Panel: Unhinged pre-match montages & Heartbreak vs Heartache (2024 edition) Jul 15, 2024

Show notes

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the final Euro 2024 Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: whether England's tournament failure was a "heartbreak" or "heartache", the Peak Montage moment of the pre-match coverage, the psychological pay-off of putting yourself through an opposition trophy lift, Chelsea's genre-revitalising marketing spiel for their new kit, a job advert for a VAR operator at Stockley Park and a quindecuple signing in League Two.

Meanwhile, the panel strive for the technical definition of a player “popping it round the corner” to a teammate and decide the threshold for a "big money" transfer in 2024.

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The Adjudication Panel: From Talksport to NATO - a cultural review of England 2 Netherlands 1 Jul 11, 2024

Show notes

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Nick Miller for the latest Euro 2024 Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: a cultural review of England 2 Netherlands 1 (from Talksport to NATO via spoon-benders, chess grandmasters and The Killers), the true fan anthem of the Euros summer, a questionable chant for an international match and where Ollie Watkins now sits on the England clamour ranking.

Meanwhile, the panel assess whether a Golden Boot winner scoring less than six goals can really be taken seriously and the big pre-season question: can an outswinging corner be described as "vicious"?

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The Adjudication Panel: Euro 2024's future Premier League forgettables & the Jordan Pickford penalty-heroics threshold Jul 08, 2024

Show notes

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the latest Euro 2024 Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: an unexpected footballer's name pops up in the General Election polls, a radio commentator synchronising effortlessly with the crowd noise, a potential new twist in "penalties are a lottery" discourse, a cultural review of England's penalty shootout against Switzerland, whether Spain's last-minute win over Germany counts as a "dispatching" and the relative merits of displaying the clock in extra time as 90:00-120:00 (ITV) or 00:00-30:00 (BBC).

Meanwhile, the panel decide what sort of game best suits the "never in doubt [wink emoji]" sentiment and assess a list of mid-range Euro 2024 performers who seem destined for a forgettable Premier League future.

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The Adjudication Panel: Misstiano Penaldo, "The Misquoted One” & arm-wrestling with Martin Keown Jul 04, 2024

Show notes

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the latest Euro 2024 Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: the Wimbledon tennis doing Wimbledon tennis things, a perfectly wrong football analogy on election day, the BBC's Cristiano Ronaldo penalty caption saga, how teams "make friends" at major tournaments, new Brighton manager Fabian Hurzeler gets the Mourinho treatment on day one, the most "high street estate agents" footballer name,

Meanwhile, the panel decide the specific scenario that best suits the observation of "good feet" and enjoy Every News At Ten Report of the Football Match You Watched Just Before News At Ten, Ever

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The Adjudication Panel: The England clamour table, bending your run & dancing on the streets of City X Jul 01, 2024

Show notes

Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller for the latest Euro 2024 Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: which player is at the front of the England clamour queue now, Jude Bellingham's self-referential goal celebration, the joy of Ally McCoist reacting to slow-motion replays, which Euros nations' capital-city streets are most likely to be "danced on", the transferrable football skill of "bending your run" in daily life and some concerning news about Mexican waves.

Meanwhile, the panel ponder the acceptability of the tournament-exit verb "grouped" and whether anything can be "vintage Lamine Yamal".

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The Adjudication Panel: The unifying experience of watching England struggle to play football Jun 27, 2024

Show notes

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the latest Euro 2024 Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: the Stockholm syndrome of England at their laborious worst, Sir Geoff Hurst's silky-smooth product placement on Sky Sports News, one man's fantasy European competition for second-division clubs, and Keysey's inevitable mid-tournament solution for the Three Lions.

Meanwhile, the panel explore the meaning of the physical footballing state of being "leggy", with some help from Clive Tyldesley and Martin O'Neill.

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The Adjudication Panel: Martin Keown's GCSEs, Pro Evo Jules Kounde & when nations hold their breath Jun 24, 2024

Show notes

Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Ali Maxwell for the latest Euro 2024 Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: the depths of Euros short-form video content, a curious commentator intonation for a full-back receiving a pass in their own half, a dramatic VAR development in Major League Soccer, why some England managers get referred to by their first names and Messi/Ronaldo sentiment reaching the world of transfer reporting.

Meanwhile, the panel also explore the nuanced rules of demonymic footballing adjectives and the mid-tournament trigger point for a nation being described as "holding its breath".

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The Adjudication Panel: The vocabulary of an England group-stage draw & Euro 2024’s Commentator’s Curse Jun 21, 2024

Show notes

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the latest Adjudication Panel of Euro 2024.

The agenda includes: the inevitable keywords of the latest England group-stage non-event, some eerily good Euros predictions from the pod back in December, the rampant Commentator’s Curse of Euro 2024, whether Arda Guler’s wondergoal met the “a star is born” threshold, some classic Andy Townsend punditry, a Dutch take on football clichés discourse, the textbook host-nation scenario and a surprise guest on a YouTube watchalong.

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The Adjudication Panel: The Euros that didn't need to burst into life Jun 17, 2024

Show notes

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the first Adjudication Panel of Euro 2024.

The agenda includes: the (very predictable) reaction to England's laborious win over Serbia, Gabriel Clarke (sort of) gives his update on the mood in the Cliches podcast camp, which country are "the most Group C team ever", what makes a shot go "agonisingly wide" and more niche highlights from the Euros so far.

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The Pure European Championship XI Jun 13, 2024

Show notes

On the eve of Euro 2024, Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker are joined by Michael Cox to select a lineup of players most inextricably linked with the European Championship.

The deliberations feature a strict Greeks and Czechs quota, the "Kopke vs Toldo" dilemma, a Silver Goal scorer in the heart of the defence, a dinker, a scooper and a disgraced former UEFA president in midfield, a clamour for Alan Dzagoev, a frankly inevitable bias towards Euro 2004, Will Grigg on fire (and on the bench) and a battle of the one-hit wonders up front.

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