Football Cliches

Latest Episodes:

Accidental FIFA commentary, Newcastle's Fibonacci fate & Premier League cliche analytics Apr 28, 2025

Show notes

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Wembley's drum-beat woodwork, the most "mid-2000s FIFA game" commentary of the season, why Newcastle now must win 21 league titles in a row or the world will implode, the textbook FA Cup final pairing, and mapping Manchester United's doldrums era to that of Liverpool's 1990-2020.

Meanwhile, the panel contemplate the Club World Cup, live on Channel 5, and absorb a listener's deep data dive on Premier League press-conference cliches.

Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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Pope John Gregory, Premier League clubs as supermarkets & route-one crowd noise Apr 23, 2025

Show notes

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: managers accidentally inviting Dave to their birthday parties, Clive Tyldesley's Substack innuendo, ex-Premier League managers’ names in popes, fascinatingly-named Malaysian referees, Chris Sutton's Sir Jim Ratcliffe impression, the most perfectly flowing EFL crowd noise of the season

Meanwhile, the panel review a listener's "If Premier League Clubs Were Supermarkets" rundown and decide the most “hands over the head clapping the fans after a game” manager of all time.

Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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Fact-checking Paul Scholes, caretaker popes & Olivier Giroud's locker Apr 21, 2025

Show notes

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Mark Clattenburg's Generation Alpha breakthrough, the search continues for the origin of "pre-assist", the dubious footballing memory of Paul Scholes, the fascinating name of the Malaysia national team captain, interim popes with Premier League interim managers’ names and Richard Keys in top wind-up form over on BeIN Sports.

Meanwhile, the panel decide if a 5-1 aggregate win can ever be a "thrashing" and if a supermarket can have its own "DNA".

Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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The Premier League Unfinished Business XI Apr 16, 2025

Show notes

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Nick Miller to pick a lineup of players destined to be subject to the gravitational pull of the Premier League to give it (at least) one more crack in the next few years.

The selection process involves some written-off goalkeepers, defenders who will come crawling back from Saudi Arabia, veteran midfielders doing one more season at their hometown club after winning the World Cup for England, Harry Kane’s carefully-planned final assault on Alan Shearer’s goalscoring record, and getting one step ahead of the Darwin Nunez redemption story.

Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel enjoys some fifth-division Sunday League pyro, Premier League club names in theme park YouTubers, a novel TV approach to denoting home and away fixtures and yet more accidentally musical commentary from Conor McNamara.

Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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Prince William's punditry, TNT's "hipster gunk" and a gift from the Keys & Gray gods Apr 15, 2025

Show notes

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Prince William's absurdly highly-acclaimed "punditry", the Premier League club that would produce the most uneventful in-house documentary, the criteria for a team to "roar back" from a losing position, the self-proclaimed inventor of the "pre-assist" and the Cliches pod makes its TikTok debut.

Meanwhile, the panel decide if a team can "return to the scene" of a momentous win at their home ground and enjoy the highlights of some gold-standard Keys & Gray output from the weekend.

Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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Ribblesdale Rovers vs The Rules, Chris Sutton vs football jargon & the exact definition of a "hoick” Apr 09, 2025

Show notes

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: A scandalous Sunday League saga, obscure staff members on Transfermarkt, Chris Sutton manufacturing his disapproval for modern footballing jargon, some joyful commentary that only a Niclas Fullkrug header could inspire and improvised electroacoustic albums inspired by injury-plagued former Premier League defenders.

Meanwhile, the panel establish the exact practical definition of the verb “to hoick” and decide if a northern-hemisphere domestic league can be allowed to have "apertura" and "clausura" stages.

Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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The ultimate managerial indignity & everything ITV crime dramas get wrong about football Apr 07, 2025

Show notes

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: Kevin De Bruyne greatness fatigue, the concept of "pulling rank" at a set piece, a new low for clickbait football headlines, the indignity of a manager being sacked before they can go down with the ship, several huge problems with the football realism in an ITV detective series and Keys & Gray corner roars back into form.

Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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Doing a job on Chris Wilder & goalkeepers just booting it upfield, with Bryan's Gunn Apr 02, 2025

Show notes

The pod welcomes the content-creating genius that is Bryan's Gunn - aka Will Powell - for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as he chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football.

Among Will's selections are foreign managers picking up English footballing jargon, Chris Wilder's go-to catchprase, the near-extinct art of goalkeepers just booting the ball upfield, and unnecessary modernisation of the FA Cup draw procedure.

Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel decide how many players constitutes a team "flooding forward" and enjoy some accidentally musical South American commentary.

Support the Football vs Hunger campaign at trussell.org.uk/trussellfc

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: http://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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Free-transfer pundits, Daniel Mann's woodwork nuance & ex-Spurs defenders vs. the Jonas Brothers Mar 31, 2025

Show notes

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: football pundits available on a free transfer, Big Dan Burn's week becomes a fortnight, a commentator superbly self-policing his woodwork judgment, some unexpected co-commentary during North Macedonia vs Wales, the Maldini/Baresi myth claims a high-profile victim, ex-Spurs defenders in Jonas Brothers singles and Chelsea suffer a textbook club-crisis moment.

Meanwhile, the panel wonder if Erling Haaland has passed the "human after all" stage and discuss the unevolving art of pun-based FPL team names.

Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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”Snuffing out the danger", pre-match strolling & drinking the opposition's water: The listeners' loves & hates Mar 27, 2025

Show notes

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.

Among the selections are the curious tradition of a visiting team's pre-match stroll around the pitch, the reactions of fans behind a goal observed during an action replay, the moral seesaw of witnessing players drinking from opposition water bottles and the alarmingly low bar for things that make it into a centre-back’s pre-match TV analysis montage.

Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN

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