Financially Ever After Widowhood

Latest Episodes:

How Nyla Cut Her Losses and Unlocked Her Biggest Asset - Herself! Feb 26, 2019

Show notes

From a frugal upbringing in India, to an almost 15 year-long career working as a stock trader on Wall Street, writer and researcher Nyla has always possessed a strong fluency in the language of money. But when faced with the abrupt endings of both her job and her marriage, Nyla took the opportunity to re-examine her life path, and her relationship with money.

In this episode of “Financially Ever After”, Nyla shares some of the insights she has discovered that have helped her unleash her most creative, well-rounded and generative self, including:

Why, when it comes to marriage, looking at finances and value creation between two spouses as a zero sum game is not healthy and can prevent you from seeing one another as equal partners. [14:48]

Why financial coaching should be an important and lifelong educational process for individuals and couples, alike. [25:30]

How a dramatic “life audit” shifted her understanding of the value of money and has led her to now view money as a tool that makes possible incredible opportunities and experiences [37:48]

How she has learned to redefine her net worth as a “holy triangle” comprised of: social capital (your network), human capital (yourself) and financial capital [44:10]

Why your creative and generative potential is the key to your sense of well-being, and how when that is out of whack, you do a disservice to everyone in your life. [46:40]

Stacy Francis | W: www.francisfinancial.com P: (212) 374-9008 E: stacy@francisfinancial.com

Links to items mentioned in this podcast:

Financial Therapy Association www.financialtherapyassociation.org

Her Justice: Helping Women in Poverty Face Issues of Divorce Feb 12, 2019

Show notes

On this week’s “Financially Ever After”, Stacy is joined by Laura Israel Sinrod (Senior Staff Attorney) and Rachel Braunstein (Managing Policy Attorney), two powerhouse legal professionals whose work with NYC not-for-profit, Her Justice, helps provide family and matrimonial law assistance to women in poverty, many of whom are survivors of domestic violence.

Listen in as Rachel, Laura and Stacy discuss the history of this 25-year-old organization, talk about the unique issues faced by Her Justice’s clients, and share some of the ways the volunteer lawyers of Her Justice support their extremely vulnerable clientele, including:

How Her Justice’s unique “Pro-Bono First” model allows training and mentorship for more than 1,800 legal volunteers who are then able to provide services to more than 9,000 women and children (80% of whom are survivors of domestic abuse). [3:45]

The top issues that women in poverty face when going through divorce, including compounding of issues such as financial illiteracy, custody and parenting, and financial isolation. [10:10]

How women in poverty face additional collateral consequences of litigation: from lost income to facing an abusive partner. [18:30]

Why Her Justice’s lawyers are trained not just in the substance of the legal issues, but also in empowering their clients with knowledge and information and ability to make decisions. [20:10]Stacy Francis | W: www.francisfinancial.com P: (212)374-9008 E: stacy@francisfinancial.com

Laura Israel Sinrod | W: HerJustice.org P: (212)695-3800

Rachel Braunstein | W: HerJustice.org P: (212)695-3800

Links to Items Mentioned in This Podcast:

LawHelp.org

HerJustice.org

Her Justice Legal Information Guidelines

Statement of Net Worth

Their helpline is open on Thursdays from 10am to 1pm and most callers will be able to speak to a lawyer the same day for a free consultation.

Confronting the Ghosts of Your Financial Past to Take Control of Your Financial Future Jan 29, 2019

Show notes

From growing up in a home where dysfunctional dynamics around money created a “rollercoaster in the house”, to entering a marriage where the financial roles from her childhood were repeated, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Barbara Bennett knows firsthand the emotional conflicts that can stem from marital money issues. In this week’s episode of “Financially Ever After,” Barbara joins Stacy for a moving and insightful conversation revealing: How a lack of equity around financial knowledge can create a power differential in a marriage and weaken the relationship. [10:10] Why we replay the financial roles we’ve learned in childhood, bringing those imbalances into our adult relationships until we wake up and understand what we’re doing. [12:00] How she faced her fears around money, and worked to become knowledgeable about finances while also pursuing the education that could give her financial self-reliance. [18:45] Why she strongly advises those facing divorce to join a divorce support group. [20:00] How to look for a marriage therapist, and what to do if couples therapy isn’t working. [28:20] Links to Items Mentioned in the Podcast: Internal Family System Therapy https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/internal-family-systems-therapy 92nd St Y Divorce Recovery Group (new group starts 2/25). https://www.92y.org/class/divorce-support-group FamilyKind.org Stacy Francis | E: stacy@francisfinancial.com P: (212) 374-9008 W: www.francisfinancial.com Barbara Bennett | E: barbara@barbarabennettlmft.com P: (646)389-8020 W: https://www.barbarabennettlmft.com | https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/barbara-bennett-new-york-ny/278399

Facing the 3 big fears: Finances, Family Dissolution and the Future Jan 15, 2019

Show notes

In this episode of Financially Ever After, Stacy talks with New York “Super Lawyer” Adria Hillman. With a long-standing history practicing corporate and family law, Adria’s client list has included well-known celebrities and entertainers, but her initial and continuing passion around family and divorce law remains helping all people who need help. Listen in as Adria shares insights from her lifetime of experiences helping women empower themselves around financial issues during divorce, including: How celebrity divorces differ from those of average income couples - and why courtroom litigation should be the last resort for any couple hoping to maintain control over proceedings [10:12] Why you need to Face the “Big Three Fears” (Fear of: Finances, Family Dissolution and the Future), but why you don’t need to face them alone! [14:03] Understanding Trusts, Marital Debt, Tax Returns & Credit Cards -- Why these four financial areas can create a financial disaster if you're not aware of them [19:10] Why you should never let the fear of “hidden secrets” keep you from seeking information about the financial unknowns. [32:30] Why she is so driven in her work as a founding member of New York Women's Foundation, and why it’s more important than ever for women to support other women in building wealth. [36:44] Stacy Francis | W: www.francisfinancial.com P: (212) 374-9008 E: stacy@francisfinancial.com Adria Hillman | W: https://adriashillman.com P: (212) 593-5223 E:info@adriashillman.com Links to items mentioned in this podcast: New York Women’s Foundation: https://www.nywf.org/

Finding the Best Professionals and Support Systems to Successfully Navigate Divorce Jan 01, 2019

Show notes

This week on Financially Ever After, Stacy is joined by New York family and matrimonial law attorney, Carolyn Walsh Parry. After an initial successful legal career in corporate law, the opportunity to participate in a Hague Convention (international child parental abduction) case led to Carolyn’s decision to transition from civil law to family law.

Join Stacy and Carolyn in this podcast as they discuss the implications of Hague Convention Treaty on multinational families experiencing divorce, as well as sharing advice for all women who are facing tough decisions during divorce.

Among the topics discussed in this episode:

How parental abduction of children happens much more frequently than we realize, and how easy it can be for non-custodial parents to take children across international borders. [5:50]
What to look for in a divorce lawyer and what to avoid when selecting a divorce attorney (hint: be wary of the “bulldog”). [19:50]
How good negotiation skills are just as important in litigation as they are in mediation. [24:20]
Where to look for an emotional support system and why everyone who is dealing with a divorce needs one. [30:40]
Why, when in the midst of divorce preparation and proceedings, you should behave as though each of your emails, phone calls and actions could be shared with a judge. [31:20]

For more information on Carolyn Walsh Parry, and additional resources from this show:

Carolyn Walsh Parry | W: www.carolynparrylaw.com P: (917) 797-0713

Stacy Francis | W: www.francisfinancial.com P: (212) 374-9008 E: stacy@francisfinancial.com

Links to items mentioned in this podcast:

Information on the Hague Convention/International Child Abduction: https://www.hcch.net/en/instruments/conventions/specialised-sections/child-abduction
Francis Financial’s “Unveiling the Unspoken Truth” - Francis Financial’s groundbreaking survey and whitepaper:

https://francisfinancial.com/white-paper-confirmation/

How to get involved in the finances and plan your divorce without peaking suspicion Dec 18, 2018

Show notes

Join Stacy in an info-packed conversation with award-winning family and matrimony attorney, Amanda Trigg. Based in New Jersey, Amanda brings years of experience protecting her clients and their families through the complex and challenging process of divorce. In this episode, Amanda details how women who are contemplating divorce can prepare for the possibility of divorce and find the financial information without raising their spouse’s suspicions. Among her insights: • Why you should never panic, but you should “just ask”. [7:20] • What to do when “just asking” doesn’t work - legal ways women can get information about a spouse’s finances. [14:30] • Understanding the grey area between “Awkward” and “Illegal”. [15:50] • What constitutes a reasonable expectation of privacy within the home. [27:00] • What is “safe”/ “legal” to look at when it comes to digital files and online information [27:47] • How valuable credit applications can be when searching for financial information [30:40] Stacy Francis | W: www.francisfinancial.com P: (212) 374-9008 E: stacy@francisfinancial.com Amanda Trigg | W: www.amandatrigg.com E: ast@lmllawyers.com Items mentioned in this podcast (Stacy’s Recommended Readings) 1. The Richest Man in Babylon George S. Clason’s classic book shares the secrets to overcoming your personal financial problems. Read and absorb the inspirational and informative “Babylonian parables” containing stories on thriftiness, financial planning and personal wealth. 2. MONEY Master the Game: 7 Simple Steps to Financial Freedom Tony Robbins has released his first book in two decades. It includes extensive research and interviews with more than 50 renowned financial experts. Use his easy-to-follow, seven-step plan to get your finances in order, create a lifetime income plan and achieve financial freedom. 3. When She Makes More: 10 Rules for Breadwinning Women Do you earn more than your partner? Personal finance expert Farnoosh Torabi explains how women can avoid burnout, infidelity and divorce as the family breadwinners. Check out her 10 rules to achieving personal and professional success. 4. Prince Charming Isn’t Coming: How Women Get Smart About Money, by Barbara Stanny 5. On My Own Two Feet: A Modern Girl’s Guide to Personal Finance, by Manisha Thakor and Sharon Kedar 6. The Debt Escape Plan, by Beverly Harzog 7. Worth It: Your Life, Your Money, Your Terms, by Amanda Steinberg

Using Divorce as a Catalyst for Personal Transformation Dec 04, 2018

Show notes

In this episode of “Financially Ever After”, Stacy talks with Sunny Joy McMillan, a recovering attorney, a practicing master life coach, award winning author, and a radio host. Sunny is also a happy divorcée who, after an incredibly high-conflict marriage, shared an amazing post-divorce friendship with her ex-husband until his passing in 2018.

Listen in and learn how Sunny helps her clients use divorce as a catalyst for personal transformation and create a kick-ass new life. Among the insightful information, Sunny shares:

How after years in a high-conflict marriage and unfulfilling legal career, she found her life-calling as a life coach. [3:04]

How tools like the seemingly simple act of writing a letter can be some of the most empowering exercises in healing relationships and working toward your essential life path. [6:27]

How our thinking creates our feelings, and sometimes those thoughts are not in our best interest, or even true. [19:46]

How often the answers we seek can be found within, and how we can build our capacity to get in touch with, and listen to our inner wisdom to build the life that will truly make us fulfilled [22:00]

32:08 Why self-love and self-compassion are the foundation for EVERYTHING in building a life of integrity and fulfillment [32:08]

Stacy Francis | W: www.francisfinancial.com P: (212) 374-9008 E: stacy@francisfinancial.com

Sunny Joy McMillan | W: www.goldenoversoul.com E:sunnyjoy@goldenoversoul.com

Links to items mentioned in this podcast:

UNHITCHED: Unlock Your Courage and Clarity to Unstick Your Bad Marriage https://unhitchedbook.com

“Sunny in Seattle” Radio Program:

1150kknw.com/show/sunny-in-seattle/

What Makes a Really Great (Divorce) Lawyer? Nov 20, 2018

Show notes

In this week’s podcast, Stacy talks with New York Divorce attorney Chaim Steinberger - a passionate believer in “divorce without destruction”, as he shares his unique perspective on how women can find the right lawyer to represent them. Chaim went through his own rather nasty divorce and said to himself, “There’s got to be a better way!” Finding an attorney who truly cares about you, fully understands your story, and is driven to bring you justice is just some of the useful advice Chaim shares during the show. You’ll also learn: Why a win/win,“Game Theory” approach to divorce is preferable to a zero sum game strategy [2:46] The four most important factors women should consider when choosing a divorce attorney [6:53] How there seems to be a disconnect between what women really want from a divorce attorney vs. what attorneys think they want [12:10] Why the best lawyers not only listen to their clients’ divorce stories, but fully understand the subtext of their story. [17:40] Why the single greatest determinant of a case’s outcome is whether or not the lawyer truly believes in their gut of the justice of the case. [24:55] Why good lawyers never lie, but great lawyers are masters of spin control who expertly weave together the facts to create a compelling case. [27:40] Links to items mentioned in this podcast: Article - “Divorce without Destruction”https://thenewyorkdivorcelawyers.com/divorce-without-destruction/ Stacy Francis | W: www.francisfinancial.com P: (212) 374-9008 E: stacy@francisfinancial.com Chaim Steinberger | W: www.thenewyorkdivorcelawyers.com P: (212) 964-6100 E: admin@tnydl.com

The Challenging + Empowering Process of Finding the Right Financial Advisor Nov 06, 2018

Show notes

This week on Financially Ever After, Stacy is joined by “The Divorcierge,” Karen Bigman. Karen’s background includes both an M.B.A. and Divorce and Life Coach training, making her a powerful source of practical and tactical divorce advice.

In addition, Karen also brings personal pre- and post- divorce experience to her work. In this conversation, she shares lessons learned in working with the wrong financial advisor, and how women facing divorce can find the right financial advisor for them.

Some of the highlights Karen offers include:

The clues that her financial advisor didn’t understand her lifestyle and her plans for her financial future, and wasn’t really hearing her. [7:20]
How a lack of transparency around fees, taxes and portfolio makeup affected her income expectations. [10:55]
The importance of asking the right questions when interviewing a financial advisor (see link below for a list of questions provided by Francis Financial) [17:05]
Why choosing your advisor based solely on a friend’s recommendation can be a bad idea.. [27:40]
The surprisingly emotional process of moving to a new advisor, and how rewarding it was in the end. [30:08]

For more information on Karen, and additional resources from this show:

Karen Bigman | W: thedivorcierge.com P: (646) 612-7800 E: Info@TheDivorcierge.com

Stacy Francis | W: www.francisfinancial.com P: (212) 374-9008 E: stacy@francisfinancial.com

Links to items mentioned in this podcast:

Questions to ask a financial advisor: https://francisfinancial.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/Questions-to-Ask-a-Potential-Advisor.pdf

Managing Money Emotions and Money Behaviors with Master Money Coach, Carrie Rattle Oct 23, 2018

Show notes

Managing Money Emotions and Money Behaviors with Master Money Coach, Carrie Rattle In this week’s episode, Stacy talks with CEO & Founder of Behavioral Cents, Carrie Rattle. As a Master Money Coach for professional women, Carrie is living her passion to empower women with the skills and knowledge to save and build wealth. As she so brilliantly states it, “With wealth, women gain an equal vote in the world, build security and control and have choices about how they want to live.” Listen in as Carrie shares some incredible insights regarding the deep and complex relationship between emotions and money behaviors, and learn: How Carrie’s work as a money coach differs from that of a financial adviser: Dealing with the money emotions that drive money behaviors [4:50] Why so many professional women are earning real money but are not acquiring real wealth (hint: It’s not their fault!), and how so many layers of societal “stuff” get between women and money. [9:00] How being “selfish” with money is an act of self-care. [14:30] Why taking the time to fill out a happiness chart is the first, and possibly the most important step on the road to financial empowerment, and how comparison destroys joy [18:19] And more! Links to items mentioned in this podcast: Receive your free money profile here: http://www.behavioralcents.com/my-money-behaviors/ Download your free happiness chart here: http://info.behavioralcents.com/happiness-chart Stacy Francis | W: www.francisfinancial.com P: (212) 374-9008 E: stacy@francisfinancial.com Carrie Rattle | W: http://www.behavioralcents.com P: (914) 923-6081 E: CarrieRattle@BehavioralCents.com

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