Financially Ever After Widowhood

Latest Episodes:

Hiring an Attorney to Advocate For Your Child Dec 03, 2019

Show notes

Ten years ago, matrimonial attorney Lauren Friend started her own law firm because she wanted to help people through the worst times of their lives. Her clients see her as their support lifeline, which helps them get through the divorce process as healthily as possible. Apart from working with adults however, Lauren also works with children as an attorney for the child. She chats with Stacy Francis about when an attorney for the child might be needed, the things divorcing parents need to know, including tips about how child support can be modified.

An attorney for the child is appointed by the court when there are custody issues in dispute, once it’s determined that the parties cannot come to an agreement. [4:52]
Stacy asks how Lauren is able to get the child’s opinion, but also a wider view of the situation. Lauren responds that she gets the child’s view and the reasons for his or her position, but she also speaks with all the treating professionals in the child’s life, such as their teacher, doctor and therapist, in order to get as full a picture as possible. [8:45]
In allegations of abuse or neglect, an attorney for the child would be appointed very early in the process. [14:48]
Lauren describes how she manages her attorney-client relationship with children. Toward the end of her representation she would have developed a bond with them, she says, and interviews become easier. She makes it clear to them that they will not decide the final custody arrangement, as empowering them to such an extent could cause extremely loyalty or guilt toward one parent. For this reason, she ensures that they understand that there are other factors being considered in addition to their view. [15:17]
Stacy says that many listeners don’t realize that the amount of time that your child spends with you can impact the amount that you're entitled to for child support. Lauren explains that the court classes the custodial parent as the one with whom the child spends the most nights. This parent would get child support as well as add-ons. The add-ons are pro-rata based on income. [20:05]
Stacy emphasizes that it’s important to know your child’s expenses to make your case for child support. [22:38]
In New York state only the first $148,000 of a spouse’s income is considered for child support. Anything over that is discretionary. Lauren advises that it’s always best to work out an agreement with just your attorneys. [24:30]
You can go back to court for a modification of child support, custody or visitation if there are substantial changes in circumstances. [25:27]
The best advice she can give to divorcing parents, Lauren says, is to try to sublimate your feelings of anger and hostility for the benefit of your children. They are much happier and healthier in two separate happy households. [29:14]
The courts take parental alienation very seriously. Judges have been known to switch custody in extreme cases. [29:45]
Before you enter into a custody agreement, envision if it would work until your child is 18. Your attorney should also build in some loopholes into the agreement so there is room for modification without returning to court. [32:12]
A question to ask yourself before you do or say anything is, will this help or hurt my child? [36:00]
Lauren shares advice on how to choose an attorney if you’re thinking about divorce. [37:41]
When she represents adults, Lauren is able to give her clients real life examples of how their actions may help or hurt children, due to her experience as an attorney for the child. [40:33]

Resources

LaurenFriendLaw.com

Avvo.com

Martindale.com

Find out more about the Second Opinion program

FrancisFinancial.com

Stacy Francis: Stacy@Stacyfrancis.com

Phone: 212-374-9008

A Powerful Personal Story: Escaping The Cycle of Abuse Nov 19, 2019

Show notes

Claire, this week’s guest on Financially Ever After, has lived through many hardships. She bravely shares her story so that listeners who may be in a similar situation can find some help and hope.

Claire has been living month to month for the last year and a half. Her ex-husband decided not to pay alimony this month to spite her, so she has not been able to pay her bills. [2:34]
In the beginning, Claire’s ex-husband treated her like a princess, but soon he started to get angry and blame her whenever he lost money at his job. [4:16]
Claire was in a cycle of emotional and physical abuse but she had nowhere to go. She reached out to her parents to try to escape, but they said no. [8:43]
We often associate physical, emotional and financial abuse with lower income. However, Stacy says, there is a secret that it happens in front of our eyes to accomplished women like Claire. [11:40]
Claire still struggles with self-confidence and thoughts of suicide. Her animals and the 12 step program she attends helps her heal. She also practices staying positive and keeping her body positive. [14:19]
When you’ve been a victim of abuse you’re a changed person, Stacy says. If you’ve been abused as a child you should seek support because you usually relive those cycles. [19:50]
It’s important for women to have agency over our money because it gives us options to escape from unsafe situations. [23:15]
Claire shares that she was abused as a child by a relative. [25:50]
Stacy urges Claire and listeners to keep a network of support around them so that they can continue to be strong and make good decisions, now that they’re out of the past situation. With the right support around you, you can continue to make good decisions even though it feels like your past is pulling you back. [28:27]
When Claire can’t find the strength in herself to carry on, she hears the voice of her son Tyler telling her how much she means to him. [32:20]
Claire continues to be strong so that she can help someone. She has seen how honesty can strengthen one another. Stacy adds that she enjoys helping others in part because it makes her feel good about herself. Helping others builds our self-worth. [34:04]
Animals love you unconditionally and they don’t judge. They help you heal. Stacy urges you to volunteer at a shelter. [37:52]
Claire’s advice to anyone listening that’s struggling is to go deep into your soul and know that you are special. That glimmer of hope will help you get through the tough times. [38:53]
Stacy urges you to reach out to your support network to hold you when you don’t have the strength. You can also reach out to her. If you feel stuck because you don’t have the money to go elsewhere, let us help you with that, Stacy advises. [41:08]

Resources

FrancisFinancial.com

Stacy Francis: Stacy@Stacyfrancis.com

Phone: 212-374-9008

What Wise Women Do After Divorce Nov 05, 2019

Show notes

Tanya-Marie Dubé is a master of transformation. She has lived through some very traumatic experiences: from being born into the foster care system, to being homeless from ages 12 to 18, to leaving her marriage of 18½ years without her home or any finances. Through each adversity, Tanya was able to change her perspective and come out a stronger, happier person. Now she teaches women around the world how to thrive after divorce. She joins Stacy Francis to talk about the five stages of transformation and things women need to know to create the best life possible for themselves and their families.

Tanya says that her life has presented her with a series of transformational opportunities. She started to study psychology at age 17 and inadvertently started to coach others. She learned that the only way for her to grow was to help others achieve their goals. [4:18]
By the time Tanya left her marriage 3½ years ago, she had been out of the workforce for more than a decade. Information about how to survive through and after divorce was hard to find. This inspired her to put together her first online summit where she invited 21 experts to speak on every aspect of separation. Over 300,000 women have been impacted to date. [5:22]
There is a time and place for tears and anger when you’re experiencing a divorce. However, when you're rebuilding your life after divorce you need to remove the emotion out of it some of that time so you can focus on what’s working. [9:12]
Tanya shares why gratitude and meditation is vital, no matter what you’re going through. [10:51]
Stacy asks about the five stages of transformation after divorce. Tanya says that the five steps are building blocks and you’re going to be in and out of them, much like the grief cycle. She emphasizes that you need to work with someone because you need a new perspective and a mindset shift. [13:36]
The five stages of transformation are:
Visionary: building a new foundation by working on your belief systems. This stage focuses on aligning who you think you are with who you want to become. [13:58]
Renewal: self-love and reconnection to spirituality. You learn how to overcome your addiction to people-pleasing and putting yourself last. You begin to take charge of your healing and personal development. [17:30]
Alignment: busting through your comfort zone. If you push yourself out of your comfort zone, you’re going to move forward. The confidence you gain by doing so will propel you into other areas of your life and open doors and opportunities you never dreamed of. [22:24]
Courage: finding your true purpose. Tanya shares the simple but powerful exercise she used to find her purpose. [26:41]
Powerful: creating incredible relationships. Now that I found my purpose, how am I going to achieve it? Who do I need to surround myself with? How can I become the best version of myself so that I’m showing up for everybody else the right way, but I'm also attracting people at this high energy level? [31:19]
Stacy talks about the importance of community when you’re going through a divorce. Tanya has created a membership site where these women can find the support they need through divorce and after, to launch them into the next phase of their lives. She shares how listeners can be part of that community, as well as the summits she produces. [33:30]

Resources:

TanyaDube.com

TanyaDube.com/membership

Recommended Books:

The Mastery of Love - Don Miguel Ruiz
The Four Agreements - Don Miguel Ruiz
Emotional Intelligence - Daniel Goleman
The Power of Now - Eckhart Tolle
A New Earth - Eckhart Tolle
I Am - Howard Falco
Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway - Susan Jeffers
Think and Grow Rich - Napoleon Hill
How to Win Friends and Influence People - Dale Carnegie
The Power of Positive Thinking - Norman Vincent Peale
Mindset - Carol Dweck

Find out more about the Second Opinion program

FrancisFinancial.com

Stacy Francis: Stacy@Stacyfrancis.com

Phone: 212-374-9008

Exposing Myths About Litigation Oct 22, 2019

Show notes

John Yacos, of Yacos Law, has 30 years experience in matrimonial and family law. He joins Stacy Francis on this week’s show, to dispel the common myths about litigation, including the time it takes to get through the legal process.

Common myths and misconceptions about litigation arise because of statements made by professionals, the anecdotal experience of clients’ acquaintances, as well as incorrect online information. [4:04]
It’s important to be armed with information to guide you through the legal process with as little damage to the family as possible. John says that clients cannot make these important decisions without accurate information. [4:50]
Litigation is only one of the options available, and John prefers to view it as a last resort. People should always consider Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR). [6:45]
Stacy asks, when might someone know that ADR is not a good fit and they need to take the next step to litigation? John shares several tips to help listeners decide. [8:21]
One common myth is that you have to choose between mediation and litigation. The truth is that you can have both: use mediation for some parts of your matter and litigation for other parts. It does not have to be one or the other. [10:18]
A parent coordinator can unlock seemingly intractable custodial issues. [12:25]
Another myth John busts is that your divorce proceeding will be quick. John says that each case is fact-specific and that there are many variables to consider, including whether you go to family court or Supreme Court. He explains the differences between the two court systems. [13:40]
John tells listeners what they should look for in a litigation attorney. You need someone who:
Can present a reasonable argument to the deciders in your case;
Can make their clients understand the importance of being seen as reasonable;
Can explain to their clients that the children’s best interest is going to be the most important consideration in litigation;
Is professional and ethical, and works well with other attorneys;
Doesn’t create barriers by being aggressive or nasty;
Can adapt their strategy if circumstances change.
Has a high level of emotional intelligence. [21:51]
You don’t need the most expensive lawyer to represent you in your matter. You can get great advocacy if your lawyer is familiar with the court and knows how to resolve the five major issues of divorce with children - custody, child support, maintenance, equitable distribution and potential for counsel fees. [26:38]
There are only two ways to end a case, John says. One way is to come to an agreement, and the other way is when the judge renders a decision. [35:36]
Stacy says that a common belief is that the quickest way to end a matter is through litigation. John dispels this myth by saying that litigation is generally used to resolve issues that are more difficult. With the large number of cases before the courts, litigation is more of a marathon than a sprint, he points out. [37:32]
Even when you’re using ADR, you should have your own attorney advising you. The cost of a consulting attorney could save you thousands in the future. [44:44]

Resources

YacosLaw.com

Email: john@YacosLaw.com

Phone: 212-587-9560

Find out more about the Second Opinion program

Stacy Francis: Stacy@Stacyfrancis.com

Phone: 212-374-9008

Rebuilding Your Body, Mind and Life After a Betrayal Oct 08, 2019

Show notes

This week’s guest is Dr. Debi Silber, author of Amazon bestseller The Unshakable Woman: Four Steps to Rebuilding Your Body, Mind and Life After a Life Crisis. Dr. Debi was blindsided by a personal betrayal that inspired her to study how women experience and heal from betrayal. She shares the five stages that we go through from betrayal to breakthrough. She also talks about Post Betrayal Syndrome and Post Betrayal Transformation and shares a tool you can use to see how far along you are in the process of healing.Betrayal is an earth-shattering feeling that the world as you've known it no longer exists. [3:40]The Post Betrayal Transformation (PBT) Institute grew out of Dr. Debi’s experience. She teaches that our biggest crisis leads to our greatest gift. [4:26]Her Ph.D. research involved studying the lived experience of women who had experienced betrayal. She wanted to understand who they were before, and how the betrayal affected them physically, mentally and emotionally. Also, she wanted to understand the steps they took to heal. [5:51]If you're willing to do what it takes to move from one stage to the next, your healing from betrayal is predictable. [6:58]Stacy asks Dr. Debi to describe the five stages from betrayal to breakthrough. She lists them as:Stage 1 - Ignoring your gut instinct that something is wrong. Focusing on the physical and mental, more than the emotional and spiritual.Stage 2 - You’re blindsided. It causes a breakdown of your body, mind, and worldview. Your body goes into a stress response. Your mind is confused and overwhelmed. Your worldview is shattered, and you no longer trust your betrayer nor yourself.Stage 3 - The practical stage. You focus on surviving. You can get stuck at this stage if you’re not careful. Dr. Debi describes the self benefits you start receiving at this stage, and what you need to do to move to the next stage.Stage 4 - Adjusting to your new normal. You're redefining yourself and your rules.Stage 5 - Rebirth. Dr. Debi describes how you come through this stage with a new view of yourself and the world. [7:50]Dr. Debi shares 3 reasons why someone may not heal from betrayal. [15:32]Post-Betrayal Syndrome is a collection of physical, mental and emotional symptoms specific to betrayal. [17:54]Post-Betrayal Transformation is the state of complete healing after an experience with betrayal. [19:33]You can take an objective quiz, developed by Dr. Debi and her team, to show you where you are in the process of healing. You can’t heal from what you’re not aware of. [21:10]The beauty of betrayal, Dr. Debi says, is that it gives you the opportunity to rebuild something so fabulous that you never would have built had the betrayal not happened. Stacy adds that it’s the opportunity to decide who you're going to be and to start working towards making that happen. [24:51]Healing is a gift to yourself because you love yourself and your family so much that you want to move on. [26:03] “I have yet to see anyone on the planet stronger than a woman who has healed from betrayal,” Dr. Debi says.

ResourcesQuiz on Betrayal Find out more about PBT, including certification: Post Betrayal Transformation Institute Dr. Debi Silver’s TED Talk Book: The Unshakable Woman: Four Steps to Rebuilding Your Body, Mind and Life After a Life Crisis

Find out more about the Second Opinion program Stacy Francis: Stacy@Stacyfrancis.comPhone: 212-374-9008

Preparing for Divorce the Smart Way: Collecting Financials and Communicating Carefully Sep 24, 2019

Show notes

Jaime Weiss is an expert matrimonial attorney with Teitler & Teitler LLP in New York. She is well versed in litigation and is focused on helping her clients finish their cases quickly and efficiently. Having majored in Human Development and Family Studies as an undergrad, she brings to her law practice a deep understanding of the psychological drivers that guide how we make decisions, which helps her to discern her clients’ wants and needs and help them move to a happier place in their lives.

In her conversation with Stacy Francis in this week’s show, she will share how you can prepare financially for divorce, how you can make the best case for custody, and how you can prevent your information from inadvertently getting into your spouse’s hands.If you’re thinking about getting divorced, Jaime first asks you if you’ve exhausted every option. She feels that lawyers should not push people into a decision they’re not ready for. [6:35]Start arming yourself with the financial information you would need if you think a divorce is imminent. Get copies of records, your tax returns, your bank statements and credit cards. Ask yourself, What is my spending rate? What is my budget? How much income do I expect to earn after the divorce? Do I know what my spouse earns? What records can I get about that? [7:41]Be careful about what you say or write to your spouse. In custody matters your words may be used against you. The courts focus a lot these days on your ability to co-parent, so try to communicate with your spouse in a healthy way. Ask yourself, would I feel comfortable if this piece of communication were to come before a judge? [8:55]Stacy asks how women can get access to financial information that may be withheld by their spouse. Jaime describes four ways you can get the information you need:Look around the house for financial documents. You can request your tax returns from your accountant;Your lawyer can subpoena the documents;During the deposition, your lawyer can ask questions that may uncover financial information. [17:58]When a client is going through the divorce process, Stacy says it’s her job to make them as comfortable and as prepared as possible. She reminds them that she will be with them during the entire process. She also lets them know that when they get back their transcript after a deposition, they can correct any errors that they inadvertently made. This helps dampen any fear or anxiety they may feel about the process. [26:17]Stacy asks Jaime to share a story about a successful divorce case. [33:00]You need to be mindful of how you use technology when you're embarking on a divorce. Your spouse may be privy to your emails and texts if you're on the same iCloud account. [38:53]

Resources Teitler & Teitler LLP Jaime’s email: jlweiss@teitler.com Phone: 221-930-3607

Articles Separate vs marital property Protect Yourself via Technology How to Prepare Financially for Divorce

Learn more about the Second Opinion Program

Contact Stacy Francis: Stacy@Stacyfrancis.com212-374-9008

6 Keys to Preparing your Kids for Your Divorce Sep 10, 2019

Show notes

Rosalind Sedacca is a consultant with decades of experience in helping couples protect their children before, during and after divorce. She talks with host Stacy Francis about how to do divorce right when you have children. She discusses the 6 keys to tell your kids about your impending divorce in the right way, and how to avoid the common mistakes couples make during divorce.Rosalind's son was 11 years old when she divorced. She remembers being very concerned about his emotional well-being so she came up with a unique way to break the news to him. Her process worked: her son was in his early twenties when he said thanks to her for how she helped him. This made her realize that she could share her approach with other parents. She founded the Child-Centered Divorce Network and became a divorce & parenting coach. She also wrote her signature book, How Do I Tell the Kids About the Divorce? [3:15]The D- word (divorce) is a huge, frightening thing for children of any age. [5:41]Divorcing couples can tell their kids about their divorce by creating a picture book of cherished family memories, and sharing these key messages:They are never at fault no matter what's going on;This is about change, not about blame;We will always be a family, but now we will be living in separate houses;We will always be your parents, and we will always love you;You are and will always be safe;Things will work out ok. [7:00]Parents are prone to making mistakes when talking about divorce with their children because when they get emotional and contentious with one another, they may inadvertently do and say things that are hurtful to children. Rosalind says that there are ways of addressing all the challenges of divorce in a way that protects and supports children as they grow. [10:50]Rosalind shares how to avoid the common mistakes parents make during and after divorce when they're co-parenting. The biggest mistake of all, she emphasizes, is using your child as your confidante. When you confide in your child, you are making them privy to adult information they have no business knowing. Their young brains cannot handle this kind of information; moreover, they are helpless to change anything. They can never again be the carefree, happy children they were before they had this adult information. You are, in effect, robbing them of their childhood. [11:43]To this day Stacy remembers a mistake her mom made 30 years ago. Stacy felt like the world just stopped at that moment. [16:59]Conscious, caring parents protect their children's well-being during a divorce. They must also choose conscious, caring professionals who are family-oriented because these professionals are going to have a big influence on them. Divorce as a parent goes on for the rest of your life. [20:00] Ask yourself, do I love my children more than I hate my ex? You are role models to your children. They are watching and learning from what you do: your example shows them how to handle challenges in life, and how to move through and be successful. [25:04]

ResourcesFind a directory of tools and resources at ChildCenteredDivorce.com Book: How Do I Tell the Kids About the Divorce?

Contact Stacy FrancisStacy@Stacyfrancis.com212-374-9008

How I Represented Myself in My Divorce, and Why You Shouldn’t with April Katz Israeli Aug 27, 2019

Show notes

April Katz Israeli is my honored guest on today’s podcast. She is a celebrated matrimonial attorney at Williams Law Group, with over 25 years experience. She brings an interesting point of view to our show, seeing that she represented herself in her own divorce. She will share tips on how to keep the cost of your divorce as low as possible if you are going pro se, as well as how she got over her fear of divorce and how you can get through it too. April helped her husband find a suitable divorce attorney. She had worked with almost all the local attorneys so she knew it would be hard for him to find a lawyer as there would be a conflict with almost anyone he chose. She found him a good local attorney to keep everything above board and equitable so she could move on with her life. [4:10]It’s very difficult to maintain your objectivity and keep your cool as an attorney when it's your own divorce and you're a very upset spouse with all the associated emotions. April says her divorce started off smoothly but then got ugly. [5:20]Sometimes couples think they can work issues out themselves and come up with a suitable divorce agreement. They don’t go to a lawyer to save money. The problem is that issues come up in the future which they didn’t anticipate and have to seek litigation to deal with. They now find themselves spending money to fix what should have been done in the first place. [8:06]April shares how a mediator can be a cost-effective alternative to having separate divorce attorneys. [8:43]It's important to discuss deep issues and come to an agreement prior to marriage.This can help you avoid many problems in the future. [14:44]Relationships break down for many reasons. Some common issues are financial struggles and infidelity. When April works with couples her main focus is not so much the couple’s relationship issues but what’s best for the children. This is the court’s focus as well. [16:51]April started thinking about leaving her husband very early in her marriage. She reveals why she stayed for 23 years and what made her finally get over her fear and get a divorce. She comments that her divorce was the healthiest thing she did for herself. [22:02]If you're hearing your inner voice say that something is wrong, trust your instincts. Don't be embarrassed to talk to someone you trust about what steps to take. It's very unhealthy to internalize that voice because it will eventually manifest itself through physical illness or depression. If you feel divorce is the right decision, take the steps to give yourself that opportunity. [32:20]

What you need to know about divorceIf you’re thinking about or going through divorce, download our free guide that unveils the financial challenges that women face during, and after divorce. Francisfinancial.com/divorce

Contact Stacy Francis Stacy@Stacyfrancis.com 212-374-9008 April Katz Israeli info@williamslawgroup.com

Resources Williams Law Group908-810-1083

Talking Divorce at Work While Staying Professional Aug 13, 2019

Show notes

Most women don't like to admit they need help. We often don't even know what to ask for help with. It is a fact, however, that people going through a divorce need extra support, be it emotional support or with the administrative tasks that go along with a divorce. Today's guest, Katie Lynch, is going to help us navigate this issue. Katie is the founder of Apiary Consulting, a bespoke divorce consultancy that coaches senior executives going through a divorce.Katie shares the interesting story of how she became a divorce consultant. [2:50]During and after a divorce, a woman is more dependent on her income. Stacy asks what women can do to tailor their lives to impact their careers as little as possible. Katie replies that divorce is overwhelming. Your decision-making abilities are going to be impacted because of the reduced level of sleep and the elevated levels of anxiety you are experiencing. You need an extra person to help you monitor yourself and ensure that you're not letting this stressful time have a negative effect on your professional life. [5:53]The first thing Katie does for her clients is to help them get organized. She helps them to package their case with the relevant financial and factual information so that the legal or financial professional can give them advice right away. Most importantly, she helps them find the right lawyer so that they can avoid ending up in a contentious divorce process. [9:21]Professional women going through a divorce are not typically given the same understanding or compassion as a woman who recently lost a spouse. Stacy asks Katie how a woman can approach the subject of her divorce with colleagues or managers in a way that preserves her job and her credibility as a successful professional. [12:50]Personal and professional lives cannot be separated. They are completely intertwined. Most companies try to help by providing things that make you happier rather than dealing with things when you're stressed. [15:05]Be more open and honest about what you are going through. Tell HR or management what is happening, that you're getting support, and how much time you're going to have to take off work. Trying to keep things under your hat is going to create more stress for you; you may be surprised that they actually may support you more than you think. [15:58]Don’t try to do it all. Recognize that this period of intense stress is only temporary. Take a step back and get the help you need. Try to be as happy as you can during this very difficult time. [19:48]Katie explains the bespoke service that she offers to clients. She describes a useful piece of software that helps you to organize your life during a divorce. [23:46]Stacy implores listeners to invest in themselves by seeking the help they need. She advises you to contact Katie if you need the service she provides. If you have questions about the financial end of divorce, you can reach out to Francis Financial. They can help you make decisions with confidence, knowing that your future is secure in the short and long term. [32:22]What you need to know about divorce

If you’re thinking about or going through divorce, download our free guide that unveils the financial challenges that women face during, and after divorce. Francisfinancial.com/divorce

Contact

Stacy FrancisStacy@Stacyfrancis.com212-374-9008 Katie Lynchkatielynch@apiaryconsulting.com

Resources Apiary Consulting Dtour.life Francis Financial Option B by Sheryl Sandberg

Tackling the High Cost of Divorce Jul 30, 2019

Show notes

Can you imagine your divorce being written about in the national tabloids? Today’s guest on the show is celebrity divorce lawyer Laura Wasser, who helps her clients navigate through that every day. Her clients include Kim Kardashian, Ryan Reynolds, Angelina Jolie, Stevie Wonder, Maria Shriver and more. She has been named one of the best lawyers in America, and she is passionate about making divorce something that people can understand, work through and afford more easily.Laura talks about how she got into the Matrimonial Law field. There was a strong family precedent for going into legal practice, and almost despite herself, Laura ended up going to Law school and working with her father at his family law practice. She discovered that she loves learning about the people and industries she worked with at the firm. [02:20]Laura talks about the level of trust and the code of honor required to work with celebrities. She grew to understand that no one knows what's best for a family better than the family themselves. [05:30]Stacy asks Laura why it’s so common for women in relationships not to have an intimate understanding of the family finances. This is changing, but historically, there hasn’t been an equal division of earnings and financial management. It’s stressful, complicated and not fun - so often, letting someone else ‘take care of it’ is appealing. Laura points out that even when women are the major breadwinners, that’s no guarantee they’ll be the main financial manager of the household. [07:00]Divorce is often a big financial wakeup call for the person in the relationship who isn’t involved in the finances. Laura talks about what a shock it can be when you don't know the details of your income and expenses, especially when there is a public expectation that you’ll live a certain lifestyle. [10:30]What steps should you be taking before you’re married, or while you’re happily married to prevent shocks and pain down the road? Laura gives some strategies for how to protect yourself in the future, no matter what happens. [14:00]Stacy notes that the biggest fights couples have revolved around money - and when a relationship is ending or changing, that can be magnified. She asks Laura about the innovative way she is approaching divorce negotiations. This is a massive departure from traditional divorce and brings a lot of support and education to the table. [17:30]Laura talks about who is a good candidate for online divorce - it’s not everyone, but it is making things easier and more affordable for thousands of people. [21:30]Stacy and Laura talk about the benefits of community when you’re going through a divorce - having other people going through the same thing can be invaluable, and Laura talks about her book, website, and podcast - all designed to help people work through this difficult process. [26:00]

ResourcesBook: It Doesn’t Have to be That WayWebsite: It’s Over EasyPodcast: Divorce Sucks

ContactStacy Francis: Stacy@francisfinancial.com // 212-374-9008Laura Wasser: Instagram: @LauraWasserOfficial // Wasser Cooperman and Mandles

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