Financially Ever After Widowhood

Latest Episodes:

Gaining Self-Acceptance and Support from Your Family as You Prepare to Leave Your Marriage Apr 14, 2020

Show notes

Cindy Gunraj is a certified divorce coach, author, and the CEO and Founder of Stillness Blooms- a platform for people going through difficult life changes and in need of support. She joins Stacy Francis to chat about how to draw on your family’s support in your divorce.

Here are some highlights from their conversation:

Cindy reached her breaking point, and realized that she would have a better life if she were no longer married.
As women, we sometimes base our worth on how good of a mom we are.
When you have a difficult goal and are without support, being able to envision meeting your goals and devising a plan are key.
People come into our lives to teach us something.

Resources

Reach out to receive a complimentary

consultation.

FrancisFinancial.com

Stacy Francis: Stacy@francisfinancial.com

Phone: 212-374-9008

Cindy Gunraj: Cindy@stillnessblooms.com

LinkedIn | Twitter

Winning Your Parents' Approval for Divorce: 7 Practices to Leave Your Marriage with Their Blessing

Legal Divorce Considerations For Families During the Coronavirus Pandemic Mar 31, 2020

Show notes

Randi Karmel is the Owner of Randi L. Karmel, PLLC. Randi has been practicing law for over 20 years, acquiring extensive litigation and trial experience. Randi currently represents clients in negotiating prenuptial and mid-nuptial agreements, separation and settlement agreements and actions for divorce that include equitable distribution, maintenance, visitation, support, and custody. She joins Stacy Francis to talk about the coronavirus and its impact on divorce processes.

Here are a few highlights from their conversation:

Current legal limitations of filing actions in court
How to co-parent and do what’s in the best interest of your child
Who to speak to if you decide to move forward with divorce proceedings
How to put your differences aside in order to do what is necessary during this time of crisis

Resources

Randi Karmel on LinkedIn

RandiKarmel.com

Reach out to receive a complimentary

secondopinion consultation.

FrancisFinancial.com

Stacy Francis: Stacy@Stacyfrancis.com

Phone: 212-374-9008

Financial Resiliency Through Divorce and Market Uncertainty Mar 24, 2020

Show notes

This week, we bring you a special episode of Financially Ever After where your host, Stacy Francis, answers your questions on how the impact of COVID-19 may impact your financial situation - especially if you are going through divorce or are recently divorced.

Stacy will answer important questions such as:

What should I do with my money now?
Will this downturn impact my divorce settlement, child support or spousal support?
How can I best protect myself and my family?
I don't have the long-term to recover from this. When do we pull the "emergency cord" and go to cash?
Should I use this as an opportunity to invest the extra cash I have?

Visitfrancisfinancial.com/podcast/ and click email me new episodes and we will send you the invitation to our free virtual HIIT and yoga workouts. If you have any questions about your personal financial situation, please also click submit a question and we will be sure to respond to you!

Resources

Reach out to receive a complimentary

consultation.

FrancisFinancial.com

Stacy Francis: Stacy@francisfinancial.com

Phone: 212-374-9008

Funding Your Divorce Without Access to Money Mar 17, 2020

Show notes

Nicole Noonan of New Chapter Capital is a former attorney with years of experience seeing women boxed in with financial challenges during a divorce. Divorce can be expensive; the average divorce in New York costs 17k per person, and can sometimes be much worse. This fact can keep women trapped in marriages they don’t want to be in, and unable to get the kind of legal and financial support they need. Stacy and Nicole talk about divorce funding, why it’s an important tool, and who it can be helpful for.

Some of the highlights of their conversations include:

· Sometimes you have situations where one of the spouses in a divorce is moneyed – having much more access to cash than the other – for those non-moneyed spouses, divorce funding can be a powerful option.

· Not all segments of the attorney population offer something like divorce funding, and communicating what it is, how it works and why it’s a good thing is one of Nicole’s biggest challenges. Stacy believes it is going to catch on in a big way.

· Many attorneys recommend not changing your spending – it’s not the time to make big extravagant new purchases – but what if you don’t have the resources to maintain your current lifestyle?

Resources

Reach out to receive a complimentary

secondopinion consultation.

FrancisFinancial.com

Stacy Francis: Stacy@Stacyfrancis.com

Phone: 212-374-9008

Nicole Noonan: New Chapter Capital

Phone: 212 404 7807

Making Divorce Easier For Your Children Mar 03, 2020

Show notes

Lauren Gaynor is a Litigation & Real Estate Partner specializing in Matrimonial Litigation at Teitler & Teitler. She chats with Stacy Francis about custody, child support, and how to make your divorce easier for your children.

Here are a few highlights from their conversation:

During your divorce, finding the right attorney in matrimonial is important to achieve an emotional fit.
The amount of time your child spends with you is a key factor in child support calculation.
Being too specific about what expenses child support covers can box you into a hole.
Divorce works best for the children when parents can get along for their children’s sake.

Resources

Teitler & Teitler

Lauren Pruzan Gaynor Teitler | LinkedIn

Francis Financial

Turning Divorce into a Positive Feb 18, 2020

Show notes

Turning Divorce into a Positive

This week’s guest is Gabrielle Hartley, a divorce mediator who is known as a case closer. She has been able to keep 99% of her cases out of the courtroom. She chats with Stacy Francis about how she manages to move her clients through the divorce process without using the courts. She also discusses why she believes divorce can be a positive in your life.

Gabrielle is committed to leading the positive divorce movement because her own parents had an amicable divorce.
The ‘Better Apart’ method helps you to clarify your thinking through the lens of patience, respect, clarity, peace, and forgiveness.
Gabrielle reminds listeners that you are whole just as you are; your family is not broken, it is transformed; your child’s life is not shattered, it is reconfigured; and this is the perfect moment to reassess what you want from your life, and to have the confidence to activate your inner agency.
Stacy takes away three new tools from this week’s show. Her new ‘screwdriver’ is the bookending exercise.

Resources

Reach out to receive a complimentary consultation

FrancisFinancial.com

Stacy Francis: Stacy@Stacyfrancis.com

Phone: 212-374-9008

GabrielleHartley.com

Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate

Being in Business With Your Spouse & Still Protecting Yourself Feb 04, 2020

Show notes

This week’s guest on Financially Ever After is Dana Stutman, a matrimonial divorce attorney who runs a successful private practice in partnership with her husband Michael Stutman. She brings a unique insight on the topic of being in business with your spouse, and shares important tips women can use to protect themselves and their family in the event of a divorce.

A partnership agreement protects you, your spouse, your team and your clients. You don’t want the business to suffer as a result of what you and your spouse are going through.
The breakdown in communication is the biggest problem in marriages.
Dana broaches the sensitive topic of prenuptial agreements.
Stacy shares personal information about her struggle with being a business owner and what would happen if she and her husband divorce.

Resources

Reach out to receive a complimentary consultation

FrancisFinancial.com

Stacy Francis: Stacy@Stacyfrancis.com

Phone: 212-374-9008

Dana.Stutman@sslllp.com

Stutman Stutman & Lichtenstein, LLP

Transforming Your Relationship with Money Jan 21, 2020

Show notes

In this episode of Financially Every After, Stacy Francis speaks with Bari Tessler, the author of The Art of Money. They talk about how your relationship with money can impact all aspects of your life, the unfortunate fact that many of us had inconsistent, or totally absent financial educations, and the surprising ways our bodies can physically react when it comes to making decisions around money. This is a fascinating episode, filled with practical tips and actions you can take to transform your relationship with money.

Her student loan coming due made Bari realize that she didn’t have a healthy relationship with money. She set herself the goal of becoming financially literate.
Bari advises you to have a weekly money date with yourself.
Start with the money healing process before getting to the practical aspects of transforming your relationship with money.
Getting support is one of the strongest and bravest things you can do.

Resources

Find out more about the Second Opinion program

FrancisFinancial.com

Stacy Francis: Stacy@Stacyfrancis.com

Phone: 212-374-9008

Learn more about Bari Tessler:

BariTessler.com

The Art of Money

The Four Options Offered When Divorcing Jan 07, 2020

Show notes

Host Stacy Francis welcomes attorney and social worker, Kristen Lyndaker to this week’s show. Kristen holds a Master’s degree in Social Work and has worked in the foster care and adoption field. She is also a practicing matrimonial attorney who specializes in Collaborative Family Law and Mediation. This area, she says, is a niche in law where she could combine her social work skills and family and child knowledge with the legal system to help people.

Stacy asks Kristen how her experience with social work as well as mediation changes the way she looks at the divorce process. She responds that she looks at what’s best for the family as a whole instead of advocating for one client. She empowers her clients by showing them all the options at their disposal. An adversarial approach is rarely necessary, she says, as it does not serve most couples’ and families’ needs. [4:24]
Kristen explains the difference between mediation and collaboration and why collaboration is being used more and more these days. [6:19]
Mediation and collaboration is voluntary, Kristen says. Even if you do litigate, most likely your case will end up in settlement, usually 18 months and thousands of dollars later. You can have the same result, plus save time and money, by choosing alternative dispute resolution. You also walk away feeling empowered, knowing that you made meaningful decisions for your children and your future. [10:13]
Kristen shares some practical tips she uses to keep couples from falling into litigation, including looping and taking notes. [13:32]
You can take five routes to divorce, and for each route, you give up a certain amount of control:
Litigation - you give up total control because the court decides your future.
Collaboration - you work through an attorney who looks to you for guidance about what’s best for you.
Mediation - you have more control but less legal guidance and structure.
Do It Yourself - all the control but no guidance. [17:42]
Kristen advises you to align yourself with a professional who has your best interest at heart, and who you feel comfortable working with. [19:35]
Going to court might be the best option if there is distrust and a lack of transparency. It’s also the right choice in cases of abuse and domestic violence. [20:37]
Stacy asks how children can be protected through the divorce process. Kristen says parents should remember that their children love them both. She urges listeners to follow the Children’s Bill of Rights as well as the Parents’ Bill of Rights, to protect children during and beyond this scary period. When children are older and they start asking questions, answer them in an age-appropriate manner without disparaging the other parent. Always let them know that they are safe, loved and protected. She recommends speaking with a mental health professional and praises the work of the Ackerman Institute. [22:27]
Children love routine and consistency, so try to maintain the status quo as much as possible. However, things might have to change and it may not be ideal, but do the best you can in your situation and move forward. [29:32]
If your relationship is looking like it will end in divorce, don’t let fear and anger take over. This is just a temporary situation and you’re going to move past it, Krista reminds listeners. Take care of yourself. Treat yourself like you would treat your best friend. [32:33]
We’re all trying to do the best we can. As we get older and have more experience, we grow and learn more about ourselves. [36:53]

Resources

Kglmediation.com

The Children’s Bill of Rights

The Parents’ Bill of Rights

The Ackerman Institute

New York Association of Collaborative Professionals

Find out more about the Second Opinion program

FrancisFinancial.com

Stacy Francis: Stacy@Stacyfrancis.com

Phone: 212-374-9008

Leveraging Your Capital Into Freedom Dec 17, 2019

Show notes

Mia Poppe had a successful 22-year career as a senior-level banker. Her own disastrous first divorce was the catalyst that led her to go to law school at the age of 42 and retrain as a matrimonial attorney. She now runs her own successful private practice. Mia joins Stacy Francis this week to chat about why it’s important to manage your money, knowing your value, and leveraging your capital into freedom.

Mia got married the month after her college graduation, at age 22. Her marriage failed after 12 years, however. A few weeks later she realized that her ex-husband had cleaned out the bank account. There she was, she says, a senior level banker with 3 children in private school and other expensive family overheads, and no money. She had to seek public assistance to get grocery money. [7:20]
Mia shares her story to reiterate that life can be unpredictable. Not having money puts you in an unduly vulnerable situation. It’s very important to manage your money and be financially responsible. She says that we owe it to our families and our communities to be givers into the public trust and not takers. [11:19]
Mia encourages listeners to have their own business because no one will value you like you value you. Stacy adds that having your own business gives you more options and financial freedom. The only limits you have are those you place on yourself, she says. Business ownership teaches you to love, value and care for yourself the same way you care for your loved ones. [17:51]
Stacy and Mia discuss the challenges of starting a business as a woman. Mia’s advice to women thinking of starting a business is to find a partner with like desire, hunger and integrity because collaboration gives you more ideas and synergies. You should treat your business like a Fortune 500 business, she says. [20:58]
Personal and business finances should be separate. When they are commingled, and you enter a divorce, you are going to lose out. It also makes the divorce more expensive. [27:19]
Women going through divorce, no matter their economic situations, have a fear of survival. Mia admits to having the same fear in her second divorce. [31:30]
Mia counsels her clients to finance themselves, even if they need to retool to do so. She quotes Hernando deSoto’s book, The Mystery of Capital, to emphasize that we all have resources at our disposal that we can convert into capital. We can leverage that capital into freedom, to create the life we want. Having accountability partners are an important part of creating that life because they help you stay true to your goals. [34:40]
Stacy says that money is a tool you need to build your life. It gives you options and opportunities, and even acts as a safety net, making you more comfortable with taking risks. [39:47]
When people are going through a divorce they often lose their minds, Mia says. She calls it divorce psychosis. As such, she insists on handling custody issues first, to ensure that the children are taken care of in the best way possible. Only after a fully executed parenting plan is in place does she tackle money issues. [41:54]

Resources

The Law Firm of Poppe & Associates

The Mystery of Capital by Hernando de Soto

Find out more about the Second Opinion program

FrancisFinancial.com

Stacy Francis: Stacy@Stacyfrancis.com

Phone: 212-374-9008