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    Education

    Derek Sivers podcast

    Derek Sivers very short articles and audiobook chapters, read by Derek Sivers. Transcripts at https://sive.rs/blog

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    Copyright: © 2022 Derek Sivers

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    Latest Episodes:
    Love. Dec 22, 2021
    Show notes

    Here’s how to live: Love.

    Not love, the feeling, but love the active verb.
    It’s not something that happens to you.
    It’s something you do.
    You choose to love something or someone.
    You can love anything or anyone you decide to love.

    Love is a combination of attention, appreciation, and empathy.

    To love something, first you have to connect with it.
    Give it your full attention.
    Deliberately appreciate it.
    Try this with places, art, and sounds.
    Try this with activities and ideas.
    Try this with yourself.

    Many times a day, you have the opportunity to connect.
    You can dash through a place, or stop to appreciate it.
    You can do an activity absent-mindedly, or pay full attention to every detail of it.
    (Work is love in action.)
    You can make shallow small-talk, or really get to know someone.
    Choose to connect every time.

    Sharing is connecting.
    Share your knowledge.
    Share your home.
    Share your time.

    Learning is loving.
    The more you learn about something, the more you can love it.
    Learn about a place to appreciate it.
    Learn about people to empathize with them.
    Not just individuals, but cultures, mindsets, and worldviews.
    If you are apathetic about or against something, learn more about it.

    Actively listen to people.
    When they’re succinct, ask them to elaborate.
    People aren’t used to someone being sincerely interested, so they’ll need some coaxing to continue.
    But never try to fix them.
    When someone tells you what’s broken, they want you to love the brokenness, not try to eliminate it.

    Break down the walls that separate you from others and prevent real connections.
    Take off your sunglasses.
    Don’t text when you should talk.
    Avoid habitual comebacks and clichés.
    Admit what you’re really feeling, even when it’s uncomfortable.
    Keep communicating instead of shutting down.
    We think walls protect us from enemies, but walls are what create enemies in the first place.

    The hardest part of connecting with someone is being honest.
    If you say what you think someone wants to hear, you’re preventing a real connection.
    Manners are shallow.
    Honesty is deep.
    Always tell the real truth, or they’ll never know the real you, so you’ll never really feel loved.

    Honesty is an ideal that’s always a little further away.
    It has no finish line.
    No matter how honest you are, there’s always more honest.

    Don’t exaggerate to be more entertaining.
    Don’t downplay.
    If you downplay your achievements to make someone else comfortable, you’re preventing connection with that person and even with yourself.
    Just be honest.
    If you’ve done something great, say so.
    If you’re not doing well, say so.

    If you have feelings for someone, and you don’t let that person know, you’re lying with your silence.
    Be direct.
    It saves so much trouble and regret.

    You could live with others, pleasing only them.
    You could live in solitude, pleasing only yourself.
    But ideally, when with others, be the same person you’d be when alone.

    The more you really connect with people, the more you learn about yourself: what excites you, what drains you, what attracts you, and what intimidates you.

    And then there’s romantic love.
    You never really regret falling in love.
    Do it as much as possible.

    Flirting and romance is like eating dessert first.
    After you come down from the sugar rush, you get to the more nourishing part of the meal.

    Beware of the feeling that someone completes you or will save you.
    You have wounds in your past.
    You have needs that were ignored.
    You seek someone to fill these gaps — someone that has traits you crave.
    But nobody will save you.
    You have to fill those gaps yourself.
    When you’re going through an unstable time in your life, you latch on to whatever makes you feel stable.
    Instant obsessive love is a bad sign that you’re thinking of someone as the solution.
    Projecting perfection onto someone is not love.
    You say “I love you” but really mean “I love this”.

    Notice how you feel around people.
    Notice who brings out the best in you.
    Notice who makes you feel more connected with yourself — more open and more honest.
    Don’t worry about anyone’s opinion of you.
    Don’t hope that someone is impressed.
    Impress yourself.
    Be your ideal self.
    If that’s not impressive, then nothing would be.
    If the relationship isn’t going to work, it’s better to know early, instead of hiding your true self and putting up a façade for a long time before finding out.

    Between any two people is a third thing: the relationship itself.
    Actively nurture it.
    If you improve it, it will improve you.

    Once you’re in a relationship, avoid harming it.
    It’s easy to love someone’s best qualities, but it’s work to love their flaws.
    Don’t try to change someone, or teach them a lesson, unless they ask you to.

    When one of you is being childish, the other needs to be the adult.
    Like a dance, you can’t both dip at the same time.
    One of you has to stay upright to keep the other from collapsing.

    Unless you are drops of liquid, one plus one never equals one.
    You must both be free and able to live without each other.
    Be together by choice, not necessity or dependence.
    Love your partner, but don’t need your partner.
    Need is insatiable.
    Need destroys love.

    If you choose not to love someone, break up with one last boost of love, empathy, and kindness, instead of showing your lack of love.

    Be wary of marriage.
    Don’t make a life-long commitment based on an emotional state.
    It’s illegal to sign contracts when drunk, so you shouldn’t sign a marriage contract when drunk on infatuation.

    Having a child is like being in love.
    It’s such a tight bond.
    You’re so close.
    So much trust.
    So much support.
    But, just like the other people you love, your child’s interests and values will be different than yours.

    You don’t love someone to shape their future.
    You don’t judge your friendships by how successful your friend becomes.
    So don’t love and judge your children that way.
    Don’t try to change them.
    Just give them a great environment where they can thrive.
    Give them the safety to experiment, make mistakes, and fail up.

    The saddest life is one without love.
    The happiest life is filled with love.
    Choose to love as much as you can.
    Loving is how to live.


    Reinvent yourself regularly. Dec 21, 2021
    Show notes

    Here’s how to live: Reinvent yourself regularly.

    People say everything is connected.
    They’re wrong.
    Everything is disconnected.
    There is no line between moments in time.

    Something happened.
    Something else happened.
    People love stories, so they connect two events, calling them cause and effect.
    But the connection is fiction.

    It’s a hard fiction to escape.
    “My parents did that, so that’s why I did this.”
    No.
    Those two events are not connected.
    There is no line between moments in time.

    Same with definitions.
    “I’m an introvert, so that’s why I can’t.”
    No.
    Definitions are not reasons.
    Definitions are just your old responses to past situations.
    What you call your personality is just a past tendency.
    New situations need a new response.

    Are you more emotional or intellectual?
    Early bird or night owl?
    Liberal or conservative?
    No.
    Disagree with the question.
    You aren’t supposed to be easy to explain.

    Putting a label on a person is like putting a label on the water in a river.
    It’s ignoring the flow of time.

    Your identity.
    Your meanings.
    Your trauma.
    They’re all based on the core idea that you’re in a continuum, living a story.
    But there is no line between moments in time.
    There is no story.
    There is no plot.

    Should you try to be consistent with your past self?
    Should a newspaper try to be consistent with past news?
    You’re an ongoing event — a daily improvisation — responding to the situation of the moment.

    Your past is not your future.
    Whatever happened before has nothing at all to do with what happens next.
    There is no consistency.
    Nothing is congruent.
    Never believe a story.

    You’ve changed so much over time.
    Your past self is as different from your current self as you are from other people.
    Your past self needs to step down, like a previous president, to let the new you run the show.

    Doing what you’ve always done is bad for your brain.
    If you don’t change, you’ll age faster and get stuck.

    The way to live is to regularly reinvent yourself.

    Every year or two, change your job and move somewhere new.
    Change the way you eat, look, and talk.
    Change your preferences, opinions, and usual responses.
    Try the opposite of before.

    Disconnect from your past.
    Cut all common threads.
    Keep nothing permanent.
    No tattoos.
    Remain a clean slate.

    At every little decision, ten times a day, choose the thing you haven’t tried.
    Act out of character.
    It’s liberating.
    Get your security not from being an anchor, but from being able to ride the waves of change.

    Let go of your expertise.
    You built that boat to cross that river, so leave it there.
    Don’t drag it along with you.
    The timid cling to achievements.
    The wise keep their hands free.

    Nature changes seasons at regular intervals.
    So should you.
    We can’t prolong one season.
    Never stay too long.
    Knowing something is going to end gives you more appreciation for it.

    Every reinvention is the beginning, which is the most exciting time.
    Like a promise, just given.


    Get rich. Dec 20, 2021
    Show notes

    Here’s how to live: Get rich.

    Suspend judgment.
    Making money isn’t evil, greedy, shallow, or vain.
    Money isn’t your worth as a human being, or a substitute for love.
    But don’t pretend it doesn’t matter.

    Money can represent freedom, safety, experience, generosity, attractiveness, power, or whatever you want.
    But really, money is as neutral as math.
    Because it’s neutral, people have projected all kinds of meaning onto it.
    Your biggest obstacle to getting rich is the harmful meaning you’ve attached to it.
    Your biggest advantage can be projecting a helpful meaning onto it.
    Make it mean you’re on the right path.
    Make it a game.
    Make it mean you’re free.

    Or consider this:
    Money is nothing more than a neutral exchange of value.
    Making money is proof you’re adding value to people’s lives.
    Aiming to get rich is aiming to be useful to the world.
    It’s striving to do more for others.
    Serving more.
    Sharing more.
    Contributing more.
    The world rewards you for creating value.
    Pursue wealth because it’s moral, good, and unlimited.

    Money is social.
    It was invented to transfer value between people.
    One job pays way more than another because it has more social value.
    To get rich, don’t think about what’s valuable to you.
    Think about what’s valuable to others.
    To do the opposite is the cliché of the starving artist: creating something that’s valuable to you, but not to others.

    Money doesn’t care about your race, gender, education, physique, family, or nationality.
    Anyone can be rich.
    Someone always will, so it might as well be you.
    Making money is a skill like any other.
    Learn it and practice it as you would anything else.

    Money is a great motivator.
    It works better than force, rules, punishment, or appealing to generosity.
    Great art has been created in pursuit of profit.

    Numbers reveal truth and opportunity.
    With every business idea you have or hear, do the math to run the projections and implications.
    Study profitable companies the way an artist studies great art.
    Apply their best techniques to your own pursuit.
    Doing the math helps you think critically, be realistic, and make better decisions.

    The world is full of money.
    There’s no shortage.
    So capture the value you create.
    Charge for what you do.
    It’s unsustainable to create value without asking anything in return.
    Remember that many people like to pay.

    The more something costs, the more people value it.
    By charging more, you’re actually helping them use it and appreciate it.
    Charge more than is comfortable to your current self-image.
    Value yourself higher, then rise to fit this valuation.

    Be fully committed to getting rich, or it won’t happen.
    Adjust your self-image so that you congruently feel that you should and will be rich.
    If you subconsciously don’t feel you deserve it, you’ll sabotage your pursuit.
    But if you truly feel you deserve it, you’ll do whatever it takes.
    So adjust your self-image first.

    Don’t aim to just be comfortable.
    You don’t make the world a better place by just getting by.
    If you aim to be comfortable, you won’t get rich.
    But if you aim to be rich, you’ll also be comfortable.
    Aiming to be rich makes you think bigger, which is more exciting, more fun, and less conventional since most people don’t think big.

    The world needs more boldness.
    Refuse the comfortable addiction of a steady paycheck.
    Boldly jump on opportunities.
    Take risky action.

    Create your own business.
    Come up with a brand name that can be attached to any business.
    (Perhaps it’s your name.)
    Use it for the rest of your life on everything of quality.
    A recognized brand can charge a premium price, earning more than unrecognized names.
    Instead of thinking of customers as leading to a sale, think of each sale as leading to a life-long relationship with a customer.

    Use other people’s ideas.
    Ideas are worth almost nothing.
    Execution is everything.
    The world is filled with ideas, yet so few take action and make them happen.
    Better to be filled with action than ideas.
    Best of all to be the owner.
    Own and control 100% of whatever you create.

    Boring industries have little competition, since most people are seeking status in glamorous new fields.
    Find an old industry and solve an old problem in a new way.
    Your innovation might be behind the scenes, like owning the entire supply chain.

    Avoid difficult business problems.
    Your time is more profitably spent doing what comes easily to you.

    Avoid competition.
    Never be another contender in the crowd, fighting for scraps.
    It doesn’t pay to do something anyone can do.
    Be separate — in a category of your own.
    Invent something completely new.
    Instead of fighting to split an existing dollar, inventing creates a dollar out of thin air.
    Invent for a very small niche of people who need something that doesn’t exist.
    Instead of making a key, then looking for a lock, find something locked, then make its key.

    Follow the rising tides of where profits are going.
    Get in early on an industry that’s developing quickly.
    More risk, more opportunity, more investors, more rewards.

    Once your business is successful, stay paranoid.
    Technology is improving faster, so a successful business model doesn’t last as long as it used to.
    You’ll be disrupted by others if you don’t keep improving or disrupting yourself.

    Sell your business before you have to.
    Sell before it peaks.
    The fun is in creating a business, not maintaining it.

    As soon as you have extra money, invest it.

    Investing is counter-intuitive.
    You need to ignore your gut and heart.
    Follow dispassionate reason.
    Be disciplined, not clever.
    It’s a matter of math, not mood.
    Emotions are the enemy of investing.

    Investing is easy unless you try to beat the market.
    Settle for average.
    Be happy with a good-enough return from passive index funds that represent the entire world economy.
    Just take a few minutes per year to rebalance.
    Don’t over-think it.
    It’s better to do nothing than something.
    Keep it simple and manage it yourself.
    Avoid exciting investments.

    Speculating is not investing.
    Never speculate.
    Never predict.
    Be humble, not arrogant.
    Never think for one second that you know the future.
    Remind yourself over and over again that nobody knows the future.
    Ignore anyone that says they do.

    Money is your servant, not your master.
    Don’t act rich.
    Don’t lose touch with regular people.
    Stay frugal.
    Reducing your expenses is so much easier than increasing your income.

    You don’t need to tell anyone you have money.
    You don’t even need to spend it.
    Don’t buy too many things, too big of a house, or hire too many people.
    Rich people who do this feel trapped and miserable.
    The less you buy, the more you’re in control.
    Forget lifestyle.
    Forget yourself.
    Stay 100% focused on creating value.
    Everything else is a corrupting distraction.

    Nothing destroys money faster than seeking status.
    Don’t show off.
    Don’t invest in a business you don’t control.
    Don’t loan money to a friend, or you’ll lose your money and your friend.
    You’d be better off just giving them the money.
    The return is the same ($0), but you’d skip the bad feelings.

    Don’t convince yourself your home is an asset.
    Your home is an expense, not an investment, because it doesn’t put money in your pocket each month.

    When you’re rich, everything feels free.
    A $5000 expense feels like it costs a dollar.
    It doesn’t dent your bank account.
    Money will be like tap water.
    It’s always there.
    You don’t need to think about it.

    One downside is you don’t get excited about money anymore.
    It used to feel so exciting to make $5000.
    Now you don’t even notice it.
    Someone could give you another million dollars, and it wouldn’t change a thing.
    You don’t need it, since there’s nothing you want to buy.
    The extra millions won’t make you extra happy.
    You’ll work harder to keep your money than you will to make more.
    As with sex, the fascination fades when you have plenty.

    Say no to more stuff.
    Say yes to more choices.

    Then you’ll get philosophical, since you’ll have all the options in the world.
    You’ll find your riches are worthless, and maybe even an obstacle, when it comes to friendship and love.
    Money makes problems go away, but amplifies personality traits.
    Money won’t change you, but it will amplify who you are.

    You only need to get rich once.
    When you win a game, you stop playing.
    Don’t be the dragon in the mountain, just sitting on your gold.
    Don’t lose momentum in life.
    Once you’ve done it, take it with you and do something else.


    Live for others. Dec 19, 2021
    Show notes

    Here’s how to live: for others.

    Focusing on yourself seems smarter and easier, but it’s short-sighted.
    It’s ignoring the huge benefit of cooperation.

    Compare survival strategies.
    You could prepare for disaster by stocking food and ammunition in a bunker by yourself.
    But what if, instead:
    You made yourself an integral member of your community.
    You built a reputation of being helpful and generous.
    And many people around you cared about your well-being.
    Obviously, this is a better strategy.

    Even if you prefer solitude, you have to admit that being a valuable member of a group is smarter.
    The best way to be safe is to help others be safe.
    The best way to be connected is to help others be connected.
    People look out for each other.
    But nobody helps the unhelpful.
    You can’t actually pull yourself up by your bootstraps.
    Ultimately you are lifted by those around you.

    Never say, “Not my problem.”
    We’re all in this together.
    What’s good for your community is good for you.
    Whatever affects others affects you.
    The quality of your life is tied to the quality of your community, neighborhood, and country.
    You can’t be healthy in a sick society.

    Psychologists, philosophers, and religions all agree on one thing.
    Helping others is a better path to happiness than helping only yourself.
    Giving makes you happier than receiving.
    People with strong social ties live longer, healthier, happier lives.
    The most miserable people are self-absorbed.
    So aim to be the opposite.

    Living for others is how to live.

    After age twenty, you need deliberate effort to make new friends.
    Friends are made, not found.
    If you sincerely appreciate someone, and really engage with their interests, you will become friends.

    Ask open-ended questions, asking people’s thoughts.
    Ask them to elaborate on whatever they’ve said.
    Show that you’re interested.
    Allow silence.
    Don’t fill it.
    Silence gives space to think, and an invitation to contribute without pressure.

    Small talk is just a way of matching the other person’s tone and mood.
    It helps them be comfortable with you.

    Be warm, open, and fully present with everyone you encounter.
    Confidence attracts.
    Vulnerability endears.

    Assume everyone is just as smart and deep as you.
    Assume their temperament is just their nature, and not their fault.
    Don’t be mad at them for being that way, for the same reason you can’t be mad at someone for being tall.

    Appreciate differences.
    A conversation with a clone of yourself would be boring.

    Whenever you’re thinking something nice about someone, tell them.
    A sincere compliment can put a lot of fuel in someone’s tank.
    People don’t hear enough compliments.

    Be consistent.
    People can only depend on you if you’re consistent.
    Meet up regularly to maintain each friendship, so the connections grow stronger.
    Be patient with your friends, even for years at a time.
    Real friendship doesn’t end.

    Relationships are more delicate than people.
    Relationships can be ruined with one inconsiderate word.
    Withhold angry thoughts, and let the feeling pass unexpressed.
    Never lose your cool.
    Never vent.
    Always be kind, no matter how you feel.

    Imagine if you found out someone was going to die tomorrow.
    Imagine how much attention, compassion, and generosity you’d give them.
    Imagine how you’d forgive their faults.
    Imagine what you’d do to make their last day on Earth the best it could be.
    Now treat everyone like that, every day.

    Sometimes you really need emotional support.
    You’re going through a hard time or a big decision.
    You need someone else’s perspective on your situation.

    Friends or family can give wonderful comfort.
    You share your problem, and they share the burden.
    They care for you deeply, but aren’t as distraught, so you see yourself through their eyes, and realize it’s not as bad as it feels.

    An objective mentor can give this effect even more so.
    This person has less sympathy, and a dispassionate perspective.
    You summarize the facts of your situation with less indulgence and hyperbole.
    Hearing yourself tell this version of your story reduces the intensity of your emotions.
    You see yourself as they do: as a smaller character in a bigger picture.

    Some people like support groups for this same reason.
    Telling your tale to a group of indifferent strangers both shares and dilutes the pain.

    Success in business comes from helping people — bringing the most happiness to the most people.
    The best marketing is being considerate.
    The best sales approach is listening.
    Serve your clients’ needs, not your own.
    Business, when done right, is generous and focused on others.
    It draws you out of yourself, and puts you in service of humanity.

    The most extreme version of living for others is becoming famous.
    Do everything in public, for the public.
    Share everything you do, even though it’s extra work.
    It’s giving yourself to the world.
    But being famous means you’ll never be able to reciprocate enough.

    Your caring should grow until it reaches past your community, past your country, past your generation, and past your species.
    Care about strangers across the world as much as you do your family.
    Care about all forms of life as much as you do humans.

    Living for others is how to live.


    Prepare for the worst. Dec 18, 2021
    Show notes

    Here’s how to live: Prepare for the worst.

    Things are going to get harder.
    The future will test your strength.

    So far, you’ve lived in a time of prosperity.
    You haven’t experienced massive devastation, but you probably will.
    It’ll be harder to make money.
    It’ll be harder to be happy.
    Much of what you love now will be gone.
    You’ll look back at this year as one of the easiest you ever had.

    You’ll get injured or sick, losing some of your ability to see, hear, move, or think.
    You’ll wish for the health you have now.

    How can you thrive in an unknowable future?
    Prepare for the worst.
    Train your mind to be ready for whatever may come.
    This is how to live.

    The future is unpredictable and uncontrollable.
    Picture all the things that could go wrong.
    Prepare for each, so they won’t surprise or hurt you.

    Never worry.
    This isn’t emotional.
    Just anticipate and prepare.

    Remember the fable of the ant and the grasshopper?
    The grasshopper was just enjoying the summer, teasing the ant for working instead of relaxing.
    Then winter came, and the grasshopper starved, but the ant was ready.

    Disasters come suddenly, without warning.
    Tragedy hurts the most when it’s unexpected.
    But if you expect it, you take away its power.

    Do you know what’s behind each mountain of a challenge?
    More mountains.

    Expecting life to be wonderful is disappointing.
    Expecting life to be disappointing is wonderful.
    If you expect to be disappointed, you won’t be.

    Vividly imagine the worst scenarios until they feel real.
    Accepting them is the ultimate happiness and security.
    Realize that the worst is not that bad.

    People talk about pessimism and optimism by saying, “Glass half-empty or glass half-full?”
    But a caveman would say, “Oh my god! A glass! What a great invention! I can see what I’m about to drink! This is amazing! A blanket! A chair! A bed! Food, ready and waiting? This is heaven!”
    You don’t have to be a caveman to look around you and appreciate your comforts by imagining life without them.
    Then imagine the relief of finding shelter, the joy of controlled fire on command, and the satisfaction of hot water.

    To appreciate something fully, picture losing it.
    Imagine losing your freedom, reputation, money, and home.
    Imagine losing your ability to see, hear, walk, or talk.
    Imagine the people you love dying tomorrow.
    Never take them for granted.

    Luxury is the enemy of happiness because you adapt to its comforts.
    Luxury makes you soft, weak, and harder to satisfy.
    (Pity people who can’t enjoy anything less than the best.)
    Never accept luxury, or you’ll find it hard to do without because it will feel like loss.

    Comfort reduces your future happiness.
    You get upset that your meal doesn’t come as ordered, or angry at your phone for having an imperfect connection.
    You lose appreciation.
    You forget the perspective of how bad things could be.

    Practice being uncomfortable, even in small ways.
    Take the stairs instead of the elevator.
    Skip eating for a day, or sugar for a month.
    Go light-weight camping for a week.
    Befriend discomfort so that you’ll never fear it.

    Your biggest enemy is insatiability.
    Recognize your desire to be entertained by life, and break the habit.
    Practice being happy with what you have.

    Own as little as possible.
    When you realize you’re dependent on something, get rid of it to prove you don’t need it.
    The less you have, the less you have to lose.

    Want nothing, and nothing will disappoint you.
    Want nothing, and nothing is outside your control.
    Want nothing, and fate can’t hurt you.

    Distinguish between what’s in your control and what isn’t.
    If it’s not in your control, put it out of your head.
    Trying to control outcomes makes you disappointed and resentful.
    Focus only on your thoughts and actions.

    Your circumstances in life don’t actually change your happiness.
    People who become paralyzed or win the lottery go back to being as happy as they were before.
    So don’t depend on circumstances.
    Everything that happens is neutral.
    Your beliefs label it as good or bad.
    The only way to change your happiness is to change your beliefs.

    Did someone make you angry?
    Did a situation make you sad?
    No.
    It’s all you.
    Nothing is good or bad.
    You just reacted as if it was.
    When something bad happens, ask, “What’s great about this?”
    Instead of changing the world, just change your reactions.

    When something happens, don’t interpret.
    No story, no “should have”, no judgment, not even an opinion.
    This is seeing clearly.

    Your goal is grateful indifference.
    Win the lottery?
    Go to jail?
    Get famous?
    Go blind in an accident?
    It doesn’t matter because you’re fine either way.
    Detach from the outcome and be OK no matter what happens.

    My neighbor has a dog that attacks strangers and has even bitten a child.
    When people complain, my neighbor says he can’t help it.
    “Dogs will be dogs.”
    Wrong!
    Dogs can be tamed.
    He just never trained his dog.
    Instead he acts like the situation is hopeless, and makes it everyone else’s problem.

    This is how most people are about their emotions.
    They say, “I can’t help the way I feel.”
    Wrong!
    Emotions can be tamed.
    You are in control.
    The problem comes from going easy on yourself.
    Instead, train your emotions like you would a dog.

    Shallow happy is having a donut.
    Deep happy is having a fit body.

    Shallow happy is what you want now.
    Deep happy is what you want most.

    Shallow happy serves the present.
    Deep happy serves the future.

    Shallow happy is trying to conquer the world.
    Deep happy is conquering yourself.

    Shallow happy is pursuing pleasure.
    Deep happy is pursuing fulfillment.

    Fulfillment is more fun than fun.

    Visit your favorite places.
    Listen to your favorite music.
    Taste your favorite food.
    Touch your favorite people.
    This might be the last time you do all these things, so appreciate each moment fully.

    All of this appreciation is practice for death.
    When death comes, you’ll treat it with the same indifference as everything else.
    You’ve been preparing for it all along.


    Laugh at life. Dec 17, 2021
    Show notes

    Here’s how to live: Laugh at life.

    A gorilla, speaking with sign language, makes a joke.
    We’re amazed.
    She’s showing the fullest expression of a soul.

    But when a person is humorless, it’s the opposite.
    They’ve lost the point of life.

    A recovering hospital patient makes a joke.
    We’re relieved.
    Not just their body, but their soul is alive.

    But when a previously jovial patient loses their humor, we’re rightfully concerned.
    They’re losing the spark of life.

    What does this tell us?

    Humor is the spirit of life — a sign of a healthy, vibrant mind and soul.

    Humor means using your mind beyond necessity, beyond reality, for both noticing and imagining.
    That’s why we admire a quick wit.
    It shows you quickly looked at something from many angles, found the one that amused you the most, and considerately expressed it to someone else.
    Observation, creativity, and empathy, all in an instant.
    What could be a better sign of a healthy mind?

    Think of any action movie where the hero thinks he’s got the villain trapped, but then the villain starts laughing.
    Laughing?
    What does he know that we don’t?
    What unseen advantage would make him laugh when he seems to be at an end?

    To laugh at something is to be superior to it.
    Humor shows internal control.

    Think of the comic heroes, like Charlie Chaplin, Jackie Chan, Jim Carrey, Kung Fu Panda, or Roberto Benigni in “Life Is Beautiful”.
    They win by being playful, creative, adaptive, irreverent, and unbound by norms.
    Those who take life too seriously are the opposite, and at a disadvantage.

    No matter what you need to do, there’s a playful, creative way to do it.
    Playing gives you personal autonomy and power.
    When kids play make-believe, anything goes.
    To play is to be free from constraints.

    You can make light of anything.
    Respond to life’s events however you want.
    Nothing has to get you down.

    A bad situation can feel all-consuming.
    A laugh shows you’ve escaped.
    Humor puts distance between an event and yourself.
    Comedy is tragedy plus time.
    Time belittles anything by showing it’s not as bad as it seemed.
    Humor does that instantly.

    Someone says life is hard.
    The comedian says, “Compared to what?”
    Comedians are philosophers.

    Humor helps you see the familiar from a surprising new perspective.
    It reminds you that there is no grand truth.
    Any belief can be up-ended.
    Every belief can be mocked.
    Nobody knows anything.
    See?
    Laughing is subversive.

    Comedy doesn’t care what’s true, and neither should you.
    Whatever makes you happy is what works.
    Humor transcends reason.

    Life is meaningless.
    That’s what’s funny.

    Besides, it makes you very appealing.
    Everyone wants to be with someone who’s having more fun.

    At every moment in life, choose whatever action or angle amuses you.
    Laughing at life is how to live.


    Follow the great book. Dec 16, 2021
    Show notes

    Here’s how to live: Follow the great book.

    You know what your great book is.
    Whether the Bible, Tanakh, Upanishads, Quran, Think and Grow Rich, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, or another, follow it diligently.

    Your book is wiser than you.
    It’s describing natural law — the way our world works.
    It’s not just someone’s opinion.
    It has the definitive answers to the choices you’re confronted with each day.
    Don’t think you know better.

    People say they want to make their own decisions.
    But imagine that you have a life-or-death medical situation, so you rush to the doctor, and the doctor says, “There are hundreds of different approaches we could take. You decide. It’s up to you.”
    You would say, “No! You’re the doctor. You’re the expert. You know best. You decide. Tell me what to do.”
    Your book is the expert on how to live.
    It’s helped millions of people.
    Defer to its wisdom.

    Your book was meant for people exactly like you.
    You’re not an exception to humanity.
    Its rules apply to you.
    It guides you on a good life.

    If your book is ancient, you may think it’s not enough since it doesn’t mention modern life.
    But nothing is truly new.
    Morals seem like they’ve changed in recent history.
    But really, morals haven’t changed in longer history.
    If you update the language and some references, books written thousands of years ago sound like they could have been written today.
    The human condition remains the same.
    Your book has all the wisdom you need.
    Read metaphorically, and apply it to your modern life.

    You don’t lack direction.
    You have too many directions.
    An open mind, like an open mouth, needs to eventually close on something.
    Stop swerving and chasing new leaders.
    Stay on a single steady path.
    Following your book is how to live.

    First, make a “born again” split.
    Let go of your old identity.
    Let your new self be incongruent with your old self.
    Let your friends and family know that you’ve changed.

    Bring your book with you everywhere as a constant reminder and reference.
    Refer to its rules in every situation, every day.
    Memorize its crucial sentences.
    Keep them at the forefront of your mind.

    Following rules is smart.
    It’s efficient.
    You don’t need to stop and re-think every situation.

    “Follow your passion” is terrible advice.
    Fleeting interests are a bad compass.
    Passions pass so quickly that to follow them would have you dashing around like a dog chasing bubbles.

    Don’t follow your heart.
    Your heart has been hacked.
    Your intuition is usually wrong because it’s just emotion, subliminally influenced by amoral inputs.
    Emotions are a wild animal.
    You need rules to tame them.

    Rules give you freedom from your desires.
    When you rise above your instincts, you still feel them but no longer do what they say.
    Following your emotions is not freedom.
    Being free from following emotions is freedom.

    When you stop following emotions, and just do what’s right, then you’ll finally get what you always wanted.
    It was the emotions that were distracting you all along.

    So what’s the right thing to do?
    An action with good results?
    An action that feels good?
    No.
    The action prescribed by your book.
    No need to judge or decide.
    Just follow the rules and trust the path.

    Rules must be absolutely unbreakable.
    If you try to decide, each time, whether it’s OK to break the rule or not, then you’ve missed the whole point of rules.
    Rules are to save you from deciding.
    That’s why hard rules are easier to keep.

    Discipline turns intentions into action.
    Discipline means no procrastination.
    Discipline means now.
    Choose the pain of discipline, not the pain of regret.

    An undisciplined moment seems harmless, but they add up to disaster.
    Without discipline, the tiny things in life will be your downfall.

    Self-control is always rewarding.
    Self-control is always the right thing to do.
    This is a universal law.
    Your self-control is highest in the morning and diminishes during the day, so review your book’s rules every afternoon.

    Physical discipline helps mental discipline.
    Align your outer self with your inner self.
    Cleaning your house helps clean your mind.

    Discipline gets you to your destination.
    Without it, you’re led astray by everyone else.
    If you don’t obey your constraints, persuasive people and technology will pull you their way.

    People beg you to bend your rules to fit their agenda.
    So blame your book when you refuse.
    Saying “the book says so” helps your burden of responsibility.
    If someone challenges your choices or asks you to explain, just say “the book says so” and carry on without the exhausting debate.

    Some people may surpass you by breaking the rules.
    But remember: the miserable, broken, destitute people in the world are the other outcome of breaking the rules.
    Many more fail than succeed.
    Rules may keep you from some stupendous heights, but they will always keep you from falling too low.

    Define a good life as more than shallow pleasure.
    A good life is contribution.
    A good life is resisting temptation.
    A good life is being the best you can be.
    A good life is diligently following your book.


    Learn. Dec 15, 2021
    Show notes

    Here’s how to live: Learn.

    Learning is underrated.
    People wonder why they’re not living their ideal life.
    Maybe they never learned how.

    You get healthy by learning healthy habits.
    You get wealthy by learning valuable skills.
    You build a great interpersonal life by learning people skills.
    Most misery comes from not learning these things.

    The biggest obstacle to learning is assuming you already know.
    Confidence is usually ignorance.

    Never consider yourself an expert.
    It’s the strong swimmers who drown.

    Don’t believe what you think.
    Have questions, not answers.
    Doubt everything.
    The easiest person to fool is yourself.

    Don’t answer a hard question too quickly.
    Don’t stop at the first answer.
    In mystery stories, the first suspect is not the culprit.

    If you’re not embarrassed by what you thought last year, you need to learn more and faster.
    When you’re really learning, you’ll feel stupid and vulnerable — like a hermit crab between shells.

    Be surprised by something every day.
    Find that exciting moment when you get a completely new perspective.
    Like a movie that reveals something at the end which changes the way you think of everything you’ve seen before.
    If you’re not having these moments often, find new inputs.

    Whatever scares you, go do it.
    Then it won’t scare you anymore.

    Whatever you hate, get to know it.
    Then you won’t hate it anymore.

    Talk with people you usually avoid.
    Pursue subjects you know nothing about, and experiences unlike anything you’ve done before.
    If you’re not surprised — if you didn’t feel your brain changing — then you didn’t really learn.

    Don’t be consistent with your past self.
    Only idiots never change their mind.

    Sacrifice the things you used to believe, and the ways you used to be.
    Learning leaves a trail of little deaths.

    Remember what you learn.
    Know why you’re learning.
    Information doesn’t stick without emotion.
    You learn better when you’re having fun.

    Take notes.
    Review them often.
    Make flash cards to remind your future self what you learned today.
    Quiz yourself with spaced repetition.
    Knowledge fades and eventually disappears unless you keep it refreshed.

    Internalize it.
    Don’t expect to just look it up when you need it.
    Integrate it into how you think.

    Get out of your room and try out a new skill in the real world.
    Go to the physical place where it’s happening, and put your ass on the line with something to lose.
    A vivid, visceral feeling of danger will teach you better than words.

    Knowledge is often described simply — “in a nutshell”.
    But the inside of a nutshell is complex.
    So crack open nutshells to understand them better.
    Put concepts in a nutshell to keep them in your pocket and pass them around.

    Communicate knowledge to others to make sure you understand.
    Don’t quote.
    Put it in your own words without looking up or referencing what others said.
    If you can’t explain it yourself, you don’t know it.

    To communicate clearly, you have to think clearly.
    Writing is refined thinking.
    Public speaking tests your writing on a real audience.
    Great public speaking comes from great private thinking.

    Teaching and learning are telepathy.
    We can connect across oceans and centuries.
    Words written by someone long ago and far away can penetrate your mind.
    Share what you learn so it can be received by others, even when you are long gone.

    Learning makes you a better person and makes the world a better place.
    Learning is a pursuit you can’t lose.
    As you age, you’ll lose muscle and beauty, but you won’t lose your wisdom.
    Learning is how to live.


    Value only what has endured. Dec 14, 2021
    Show notes

    Here’s how to live: Value only what has endured.

    The longer something lasts, the longer it will probably last.
    Something that’s been around for a year will probably be around for another year.
    Something that’s been around for fifty years will probably be around for another fifty years.

    Only the strong survive, so what’s still here after decades is proven to be well-made and well-loved.
    The longer something lasts, the more people know and depend on it, solidifying its place in our world.
    Only these proven things are worth your time and attention.

    Think back to ten years ago.
    Remember the technologies that the media were hyping as the future?
    How many lasted?
    It’s hard to remember because we haven’t heard of most of them since then.
    They didn’t stand the test of time.

    Old technologies aren’t exciting because they aren’t changing as fast.
    But they’re more important.
    Cryptocurrency versus water filtration.
    Virtual reality versus air conditioning.
    Which gets more media attention?
    Which is more important?

    The media focuses on what’s new, because that’s what pays.
    Their attention makes new things seem important.
    But only time will tell.

    New things have some benefits but deeper downsides like addiction, pollution, scattered focus, or wasted time.
    The marketing shouts the benefits and hides the harm.
    But the benefits rarely outweigh the downsides.
    Only time will tell.

    The pleasure of buying a new thing disappears in days, even hours.
    So much misery comes from indulgences in current junk.

    So the way to live is to ignore everything new.
    All of it.
    Let the test of time filter everything.
    Value only what has endured.

    Ignore all marketing and advertising.
    Nobody is pushing what really matters.
    Friendships, nature, family, learning, community.
    The best things in life aren’t things.

    Ignore all news.
    If it’s important, there will eventually be a good book about it.
    When people ask you about current news, proudly have no opinion.
    Admit you’ve given it no thought at all — and don’t plan to — because it’s not important.
    Indulging is common.
    Refraining is rare.

    The world of news is noisy, because they have to hype it.
    They try to get you to pay attention to something that’s not actually important.
    They create a false sense of urgency, social status, fear, shock, or any tricks possible to manipulate your psychological triggers, and ultimately help them profit.
    By contrast, the truly important things are quiet.
    Life is incredibly peaceful when you shut out the noise.

    The modern life is shallow and distracted.
    The timeless life is deep and focused.

    Live in the past.
    Watch the greatest movies of all time.
    Read the classics.
    Listen to the legends.
    These things have lasted because they work so well.
    Time is the best filter.

    What technologies have the best future?
    The ones with the best past.
    Be the last to adopt a technology, after it’s cheaper, better, and no longer changing.
    Pity the early adopters, exploring the pitfalls, like the first mouse caught in the mousetrap.
    Technology advances faster than wisdom.
    It’s smarter to move at wisdom’s pace.
    Don’t buy a bandage unless you have a wound.

    When you need a coat, table, or house, find one old and used.
    They’re incredibly well-crafted — sturdier and more beautiful than anything new.
    They’ll outlive you.

    Before trying to improve something old, find out why it is the way it is.
    Never assume people in the past were ignorant.
    They did it that way for good reasons.
    Study the past — understand Chesterton’s fence — before thinking you know better.

    Study history, tradition, and culture.
    Get to know places that haven’t been homogenized by globalization.
    When a person loses their memory, they lose their sanity.
    When a culture loses its traditions, it loses its sanity too.
    The world is acting crazy because it doesn’t know who it is anymore.

    Move to a small self-sufficient town that has resisted modernization — ideally an untouched place that hasn’t changed in a hundred years, and won’t change in a hundred more.
    Spend time outside.
    Find happiness and perspective in nature.
    It reminds you that you don’t need anything the modern world is pushing.
    Everything they’re shouting about will soon be gone.

    Learn time-tested skills that were just as useful in your grandparents’ time as they are today.
    Speaking, writing, gardening, accounting, persuasion, and survival skills.
    These skills have hardly changed in a century.
    They’re unlikely to change in your lifetime.

    Master the fundamentals, not new tricks.
    Learn the timeless aspects of your craft.
    This knowledge will never lose its value.
    In any given field, learn the oldest thing still around, since it’s the one most likely to last.

    Become a geologist.
    You’ll measure things in millions of years.
    Your timeline will be so long that mountains seem fluid.
    The whole modern world will seem like a sandcastle, built and washed away in a single day.

    And so, by ignoring the new, you will improve your life in every way.
    Better investment of your time.
    Better peace of mind.
    Better quality items and entertainment.
    Better skill set.
    Better perspective.
    Better everything.

    The best way to live is to value only what has endured.


    Chase the future. Dec 13, 2021
    Show notes

    Here’s how to live: Chase the future.

    Live in the world of tomorrow.
    Surround yourself only with what’s brand new and upcoming.
    That’s where life is made.
    It’s the most optimistic environment, full of hope and promises.

    It’s the smartest way to live.
    You’re moving forward in time, so you should watch where you’re headed.
    Go where things are going.

    It’s the most exciting way to live.
    Every day will be like a child’s birthday, with surprising new breakthroughs.
    It keeps your brain healthy, young, and active.
    Since everything will always be new, you won’t rely on assumptions or habits.
    You’ll pay full attention and keep learning every day.

    Move to South Korea, and keep an apartment in Songdo, Incheon.
    South Korean culture places the highest value on what’s new.

    Work as a futurist and technology journalist.
    Stay on the cutting edge of things so new they barely exist.
    Every new invention will come to you first, before the world has heard of it.
    Learn the basics of every field, so you can understand new innovations in logistics or chemistry or anything else.

    Listen only to new music.
    Watch only new shows.
    Use only the newest media.

    Give away everything you haven’t used in a week.
    Ownership binds you to the past.
    Don’t get invested in any one thing.
    Stay immersed only in what’s coming next.

    Spend your social time meeting new people.
    You’re not the same person you were last year or even last week.
    Old friends and family see you as you used to be, and unintentionally discourage your growth.

    Replace your personal daily routines.
    When something becomes a habit, quit.

    Every month, visit China.
    Everything there changes so fast that if you miss more than a month, you’ll be out of touch.
    Every year, visit Singapore, Jakarta, Addis Ababa, Lagos, Mumbai, Ho Chi Minh City, and Silicon Valley.
    Each is creating the future in very different ways.

    When a new country declares independence, go immediately.
    All conversations there will be focused on the future.

    Avoid Europe and anywhere that lives in the past.
    Places that resist change have no vision, only memories.
    Yesterday is gone for good.
    The past is dead.
    Resurrecting it makes ghosts and zombies.

    Avoid religion because faith is not meant to be questioned.
    Tradition is the opposite of what you want.
    Nothing worshipped will change.

    Oppose convention because that’s how things were.
    Slavery was a convention.
    Human sacrifice was a convention.
    Denying human rights to women was a convention.
    Some day our current conventions will seem as wrong as these.
    Since you live in the future, start condemning them now.

    The best benefit of living this way is how you cut all ties and never look back.
    Every day will be like amnesia.
    Whatever traumatic thing might have happened in your past, it no longer defines you.
    In your world, the past has no power at all.

    Chasing the future is how to live.


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