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    Education

    Derek Sivers podcast

    Derek Sivers very short articles and audiobook chapters, read by Derek Sivers. Transcripts at https://sive.rs/blog

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    Copyright: © 2022 Derek Sivers

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    Latest Episodes:
    Commit. Dec 02, 2021
    Show notes

    Here’s how to live: Commit.

    If you’ve ever been confused or distracted, with too many options…
    If you don’t finish what you start…
    If you’re not with a person you love…
    … then you’ve felt the problem.
    The problem is a lack of commitment.

    You’ve been looking for the best person, place, or career.
    But seeking the best is the problem.
    No choice is inherently the best.
    What makes something the best choice?
    You.
    You make it the best through your commitment to it.
    Your dedication and actions make any choice great.

    This is a life-changing epiphany.
    You can stop seeking the best option.
    Pick one and irreversibly commit.
    Then it becomes the best choice for you.
    Voilà.

    When a decision is irreversible, you feel better about it.
    When you’re stuck with something, you find what’s good about it.
    When you can’t change your situation, you change your attitude towards it.
    So remove the option to change your mind.

    You think you want more choice and more options.
    But when you have unlimited choice, you feel worse.
    When you keep all options open, you’re conflicted and miserable.
    Your thoughts are divided.
    Your power is diluted.
    Your time is thinly spread.
    Indecision keeps you shallow.
    Get the deeper pleasure of diving into one choice.

    The English word “decide” comes from Latin “to cut off”.
    Choose one and cut off other options.
    To go one direction means you’re not going other directions.
    When you commit to one outcome, you’re united and sharply focused.
    When you sacrifice your alternate selves, your remaining self has amazing power.

    Ignore other aspects of your life.
    Let go of every unnecessary obligation.
    Each one seems small, but together, they’ll drain your soul.
    Focus your attention on the few things you’re committed to, and nothing else.

    When our ancestors shifted from nomadic hunter-gatherers to settled land developers, human development boomed. We made massive advances when we stopped moving, and committed to one place.
    Choose your home.
    Stay there for good.
    Get to know everything about it.
    Even if you’ve lived there for years, hire a local expert and learn even more about the history, architecture, and areas you haven’t explored.

    Find a community of like-minded people.
    Don’t waste your energy fighting norms.
    Trust helps your happiness more than income or health.
    Invite your neighbors over for a meal.
    Make friends.
    Make the effort.
    Borrow and lend.
    Trust and show you can be trusted.
    Let them know they can lean on you because you’re here to stay.
    They’ll reciprocate.

    You’ll be an inseparable part of your community.
    The good relationships you build will build you.
    There’s no greater strength in hard times.

    When you stay in one place, daily life is better.
    There’s little incentive for businesses to give good service to someone who’s only passing through.
    But by committing to a community, people treat you better.
    The rules are different.
    They know they’ll see you every week so it’s in their best interest to treat you well.
    You’re more of a friend than a stranger.

    The more social ties we have, the happier we are.
    The bond of friendship is one of the deepest joys in life.
    Notice those words: ties, bond.
    These are words of commitment.
    We say we want freedom, in theory.
    But we actually prefer this warm embrace.

    You and your best friends don’t decide anew each day whether you’re friends or not.
    You are friends, without question.
    You’re committed to each other, even if you’ve never said so.
    That’s what’s wonderful about it.

    When people say you’re a person of good character, they mean you’re not just good, but consistently so.
    You’re defined by what you do repeatedly.
    Your habits create your character.

    Once you decide what’s important to you, you know how your ideal self will act and what your ideal day will be.
    So why not act that way and live that day every day?
    Commit to your habits to make them rituals.
    If it’s not important, never do it.
    If it’s important, do it every day.

    Rockets use most of their fuel in the first minute of flight, to escape the pull of gravity.
    Once they get outside that pull, it’s effortless.
    Same with your habits.
    Starting is hard.
    The rest is easy.

    New habits are what you’re trying.
    Old habits are who you are.

    Commit to one career path.
    Build your expertise and reputation over time.
    Because you cut off other options, you won’t be derailed by distraction.
    Since you’re committed, you can’t fail.
    Even if it takes you years longer than expected, it’s not failure until you give up.

    This even goes for technical choices, whether hardware or software.
    Pick one.
    Commit to it.
    Learn it deeply.
    This is much more rewarding than always switching and searching for the best.

    Marry.
    Marry someone full of kindness who is committed to putting you in the center of their life.
    Marry someone you don’t want to change, who doesn’t want to change you.
    Someone that doesn’t punish you for mistakes.
    Someone who sees you as your highest potential.
    Commit completely.

    Falling in love is easy.
    Staying in love is harder.
    Enthusiasm is common.
    Endurance is rare.

    Marriage is for getting through the times when you’re not in love.
    Expect things to get bad.
    Your mutual commitment gives you the security to weather the storms, knowing they won’t destroy the relationship.
    Be loving even when you’re not feeling loving.

    Commitment gives you peace of mind.
    When you commit to one thing, and let go of the rest, you feel free.
    Once you decide something, never change your mind.
    It’s so much easier to decide just once.

    Commitment gives you integrity and social bonds.
    Commitment gives you expertise and power.
    Commitment gives you love and happiness.
    Committing is how to live.


    Be independent. Dec 01, 2021
    Show notes

    Here’s how to live: Be independent.

    All misery comes from dependency.
    If you weren’t dependent on income, people, or technology, you would be truly free.
    The only way to be deeply happy is to break all dependencies.

    Most problems are interpersonal.
    To be part of society is to lose a part of yourself.
    Cut ties with society.
    Don’t engage.
    Don’t even rebel, because that’s reacting.
    Instead, do what you’d do if you were the only person on Earth.

    People think we live in a world of politics, society, norms, and news.
    But none of it is real.
    They’re just interpersonal drama.
    They’re the noisy waste product of unhealthy minds.

    Crowds are hysterical, and inbreed opinions.
    Don’t be a part of any group.
    Don’t take sides on any fight.
    Instead of standing out from the crowd, just avoid and ignore the crowd.
    Avoid social media and the zeitgeist.
    Its stupidity will infect you.
    Don’t align with any religion, philosophy, or political stance.
    Stay unlabeled and unbound.

    Rules and norms were created by the upper class to protect their privilege — to categorize people into high versus low society.
    None of it applies to you.
    Long ago, people had to follow norms to have high social status, otherwise they’d be ostracized and couldn’t survive.
    But now you can survive, mate, and thrive without social status.
    So it’s both irrational and unwise to follow those norms.

    Dogs bark.
    People speak.
    It doesn’t mean a thing.
    What they say and do has nothing to do with you, even if it seems directed your way.
    The only opinion that matters is your own.
    When you know what you’re doing, you won’t care what anyone else is doing.
    When you’re indifferent to people’s words and actions, nobody can affect you.

    Don’t believe anything anyone says.
    Listen if you want, but always decide for yourself.
    Never agree with anything the same day you hear it, because some ideas are persuasively hypnotic.
    Wait a few days to decide what you really think.
    Don’t let ideas into your head or heart without your permission.

    Being independent means you can’t blame others.
    Decide everything is your fault.
    Whoever you blame has power over you, so blame only yourself.
    When you blame your location, culture, race, or history, you’re abdicating your autonomy.

    Everyone has their own lives to manage.
    Nobody is responsible for you, and you aren’t responsible for anybody.
    You don’t owe anyone anything.

    Friends are great at the right distance.
    Just like you can’t read something if it’s pushed up against your face, or too far away, you should keep your friends at arm’s length — close but not too close.

    Have more than one romantic partner, or none.
    To avoid emotional dependence, never have just one.
    Don’t worry about being lonely.
    Nothing is more lonely than being with the wrong person.
    It’s always better to be alone.

    You can’t be free without self-mastery.
    Your past indulgences and habits might be addictions.
    Quit a harmless habit for a month, just to prove you can.

    When you say you want more freedom from the world, you may just need freedom from your past self.
    You don’t see things as they are.
    You see them as you are.
    Change yourself and you change the world.

    Learn the skills you need to be self-reliant.
    Learn to drive, fly, sail, garden, fish, and camp.
    Learn emergency medical and disaster preparedness.
    Assume nobody will help you.

    Don’t depend on any company, especially not the big tech giants.
    Use only open-source software and open communication protocols.
    Keep your own backups.
    Get your own domain.
    Run your own server.

    Live where you feel most free.
    Move symbolically far away from where you grew up.
    Living in a foreign place helps make it clear that this culture’s rules don’t apply to you.

    The best place for self-reliance is a rural off-the-grid home.
    Generate your own electricity.
    Collect your own water.
    Grow your own food.

    Or have no home at all.
    When you have no home, the whole world is your home.
    Be a nomadic minimalist to break dependencies on stuff.
    Our hunter-gatherer ancestors thrived by carrying nothing, then finding or making what they needed.

    Be a perpetual traveler, living out of a suitcase.
    Move to a new country every few months, never a registered resident of anywhere.
    Spread the different aspects of your life across different countries to avoid depending on any one country.
    Earn multiple passports.
    If a country enters into war or makes your life hard, just leave.
    To be nomadic is to be a pacifist.

    Make friends wherever you go, so that no one place has all of your friends.

    Own your own business with many small customers to avoid depending on any big client.
    Offer products, not a personal service, so your business can run without you.
    Create many sources of income like this.

    Don’t sign contracts.
    Be willing to walk away from anything.

    Eventually, you will have done it.
    You’ll be absolutely free and independent.
    It’s the ultimate liberation.

    Then you can appreciate everything from a healthy distance.
    You can appreciate your country from abroad, once it’s not your only option.
    You can appreciate family, once they’re not forced upon you.
    You can laugh at the hysteria of the crowd, and learn from it too.
    You can take sides in a fight, with a smirk.
    You can even take responsibility for someone else.

    Being fully independent is how to live.


    Considerate book pricing Oct 27, 2021
    Show notes

    I love having my own store so I can make things the way I think they should be.

    For example, I disagree with the usual pricing of books. If I buy a book in one format, it doesn’t seem fair to pay full price to get it in another format. That would be paying twice for the same content.

    Let’s separate these two things:

    1. Contents: the words in a book
    2. Delivery: the ways to get the words into your brain: paper, audio, PDF, HTML, etc.

    What we really want is to buy the contents, not delivery.

    With so many different devices now, it seems fair that if you buy the contents of a book, it should include all formats of delivery. EPUB, MP3, Kindle, M4B, PDF, HTML, or whatever new formats may come in the future.

    Today you want to read silently by the fire. Tomorrow you want to listen while you drive. In ten years, you want to read it again on your new device. This should all be included when you buy a book.

    I love this idea. It’s almost perfect. It has just one problem: Paper costs money. So I can’t just include it for free.

    But following this philosophy, it’s not right to charge full price for each paper book, because that would mean paying repeatedly for the contents!

    So here’s the solution I came up with:

    • Contents of my book: $15
    • Delivery of all digital formats: FREE
    • Paper? Just cover its cost: $4 each (+ postage)

    I like this. It means you never pay for the contents twice. It works out well for many different scenarios:

    • All digital formats: $15
    • First paper book: $19
    • Paper books after you’ve bought the contents: $4 each
    • Loved the ebook, and now want to buy 20 paper copies for your friends? Just $4 each, so $80 total for 20 hardcover books.

    It’s worked out well. People are buying many hardcover copies as gifts. A few people have bought over 500 copies each to give to clients or members of their organization.

    The only downside of creative pricing is it requires a little explanation. Like anything unusual.

    Log in to sivers.com to get my books. ☺

    See my previous article on pricing philosophy for more thoughts on creative pricing.

    Read “Make a dream come true” for more thoughts on making things the way they should be.


    How many pets do you have? Aug 13, 2021
    Show notes

    I used to have too many pets.

    Each time I adopted one, I was fully in love. I was enamored with the potential. Each new pet was meant to be my constant companion. So I would take it home, and love it. But eventually I would discover a new pet, and the process would repeat.

    My house was overflowing. But it didn’t feel that way at the time. In each moment, I was giving just one pet my full attention. My life was full of so many loves.

    Ah, but that’s seeing it from my point of view. What about from theirs? Each pet only got a little of my time each week. The rest of the time they were neglected, waiting for my attention.

    I sadly realized this was unfair. The situation was hurting them. No pet was thriving. No pet was getting the attention it deserved. The situation was also hurting me. Anyone who wanted to come into my life had to compete for my attention, or love all of my pets. I was scattered and unavailable.

    So, I started releasing them back into the wild. One at a time, reluctantly, I’d set one free, or find it a new home with someone who was really going to give this pet 100% of their love. I mourned the loss of possibility with each one as I said goodbye.

    • My pet project to start a business.
    • My plan to travel everywhere.
    • My dream to learn Chinese.
    • My goal to plant a forest.
    • My wish to build a house.

    Although each goodbye was sad, it opened up more space. I enjoyed the freedom and feeling unconflicted.

    Before, I’d glance at each pet and feel love but guilt for not giving it more time. Now, I picture what could have been, and just enjoy the daydream.

    I let my last pet go, came home, and cleaned the house. There’s so much room for focus now.

    Surprising end to this story: One pet kept coming back, no matter how many times I set her free. She refused to stay away. So now it’s just me and her, and I’m giving her all my time.

    drawing of pets

    $250K books sold. $250K to save lives. Aug 06, 2020
    Show notes

    2023 UPDATE: see “$575K of books sold. $575K to save lives.”

    Six weeks ago I emailed my private email list with a secret link to buy my new books.

    They’re not even officially released yet, but they’ve already sold over $250,000.

    I made 5000 limited edition hardcover copies of each, but those have sold out now.

    I’ll admit, it made me ridiculously happy to make $250,000. I was expecting way less than that, so it was a big surprise. I had a spring in my step for days.

    Then I thought about what to do with the money. There’s nothing I want to buy. Should I put it in an investment account? Eh. For what purpose? I don’t want more money.

    So, I decided to donate it to charity. Which charity? I want to save the most lives. So I let GiveWell decide.

    Yesterday I wired the entire $250,000 to the Against Malaria Foundation. That will buy 125,000 malaria nets, protecting ~225,000 people, averting ~65,000 cases of malaria, preventing ~125 deaths.

    Yeah. That’s worth doing.

    Afterwards, a friend reminded me that I had just repeated my “232 sand dollars” story, so go read that if interested.

    You can buy the books now, directly from me. They won’t be available anywhere else for a couple more months.

    • “Your Music and People” is a philosophy of getting your work to the world by being creative, considerate, resourceful, and connected.
    • “Hell Yeah or No” is a collection of thoughts around what’s worth doing, fixing faulty thinking, and making things happen.
    Your Music and People
    Hell Yeah or No

    Time is personal. Your year changes when your life changes. Dec 30, 2019
    Show notes

    A new day begins when I wake up, not at midnight. Midnight means nothing to me. It’s not a turning point. Nothing changes at that moment.

    A new year begins when there’s a memorable change in my life. Not January 1st. Nothing changes on January 1st.

    I can understand using moments like midnight and January 1st as coordinators, so cultures and computers can agree on how to reference time. But shouldn’t our personal markers and celebrations happen at personally meaningful times?

    Your year really begins when you move to a new home, start school, quit a job, have a big breakup, have a baby, quit a bad habit, start a new project, or whatever else. Those are the real memorable turning points — where one day is very different than the day before. Those are the meaningful markers of time. That’s your “new year”.

    This isn’t selfish. You know your friends and family well enough to acknowledge these special days for them, too. The day that I most want to celebrate someone’s life has nothing to do with the calendar day that they were born.

    The fourth Thursday in November is not when I feel most thankful. February 14th is not when I celebrate romance. To force these celebrations on universal dates disconnects them from the meaning they’re supposed to celebrate. It’s thoughtless.

    Celebrate personally meaningful markers. Ignore arbitrary calendar dates.

    When did this year really begin for you?


    Experiments in music and life Nov 07, 2019
    Show notes

    One approach to music is to do whatever you want. Absolutely anything goes. But to me, that’s too free. It’s anti-inspiring because having infinite options is overwhelming.

    Another approach to music is to follow tradition. You stay within the guidelines of a genre or style. But to me, that’s too strict and sad. It was someone else’s innovation. To imitate it now with rules and recipes is just nostalgia. It’s uninspired and dishonest.

    So my favorite approach to music is in-between. You make up your own rules, and apply them to a piece of music. You know what this is called? An experiment!

    • Experiment with limitations. Write a piece using only two instruments and five notes. Write a lyric using only nouns and no verbs.
    • Experiment with textures. Record an arrangement using only children’s toys or samples of birds.
    • Experiment with density. Write a piece featuring fifty instruments. Then do a solo piece using only your left hand.

    I loved learning and applying specific techniques. Like I’d learn a certain way of developing a melody, then go write melodies using that method. I’d learn about re-harmonizing — where you keep the same melody but change the chords underneath, completely changing the mood — then I’d go apply that to all of my songs. Techniques to build tension. Techniques to change time.

    With each new thing I learn, I have to try it, and make something. It might not even sound good, but that’s OK. The goal was just to see what happens, so there’s no way to fail. It’s all just fertilizer for future creations.

    …

    I’m not an active musician anymore, but now I find that the way I approached music is the way I approach life.

    After I sold my company and life was a blank slate, I found that having too much freedom was overwhelming.

    But I’m not going to buy into an -ism and follow a set of ancient rules.

    So instead I do experiments. I make up rules, and apply them to my life for a while. Like…

    • Experiment with limitations, fear, detachment, or my definition of home.
    • Experiment with fame, boundaries, expanding, quitting, or my self-image.
    • Experiment with vulnerability, commitment, saying yes, or saying no.

    I usually try the opposite of whatever I did before.

    I still love learning and applying specific techniques. Techniques for conversation. Techniques to stretch time. I’m glad I know how to re-harmonize because there are melodies in my past I can’t change, but I can change the thoughts underneath.

    With each new thing I learn, I have to try it. It might not even feel good, but that’s what experimenting is about. The goal is still to see what happens, so there’s no way to fail.

    dandelion

    How I got rich on the other hand Oct 30, 2019
    Show notes

    I don’t usually talk about money, but a friend asked me what it was like to get rich, and he wanted to know specifics, so I told him my story.

    I had a day job in midtown Manhattan paying $20K per year — about minimum wage. On weekends I would earn $150 per day performing circus shows for kids, though I’d spend about $50 in bus fare to get to the gigs. I was sharing a three-bedroom apartment with two other roommates in Queens, so our rent was $333 per month each. I made peanut butter sandwiches for three meals a day, and at night maybe some eggs. I never ate out, and never took a taxi. My cost of living was about $1000/month, and I was earning $1800/month. I did this for two years, and saved up $12,000. I was 22 years old.

    Once I had $12,000 I could quit my job and become a full-time musician. I knew I could get a few gigs per month to pay my cost of living. So I was free. I quit my job a month later, and never had a job again.

    When I finished telling my friend this story, he asked for more. I said no, that was it. He said, “No, what about when you sold your company?”

    I said no, that didn’t make a big difference in my life. That was just more money in the bank. The difference happened when I was 22.

    It’s not how much you have. It’s the difference between what you have and what you spend. If you have more than you spend, you’re rich. If you spend more than you have, you’re not. If you live cheaply, it’s easy to be free.

    Magicians wave one hand around to get your attention, while the other hand does the trick. To be smart, watch the other hand.

    magic hands

    When in doubt, try the difference Oct 28, 2019
    Show notes

    If you’re in doubt about something that’s not in your life, try it. Things are so different in practice versus in theory. The only way to know is to experience it yourself.

    Try it examples:

    • Pursuing a new interest?
    • Moving somewhere very different?
    • Quitting your job to go freelance?

    Err on the side of yes. Try it. If it was a mistake, at least you’ll know first-hand, instead of always wondering.

    …

    If you’re in doubt about something that’s in your life already, get rid of it. Not just things, this goes for identities, habits, goals, relationships, technology, and anything else. Default to not having it, then see how you do without.

    Get rid of it examples:

    • Relationships that bring you down
    • Goals you’re not pursuing
    • A career that’s plateaued

    Err on the side of no. Get rid of it. Start with a clean slate, If it was a mistake, you’ll get it back with a renewed enthusiasm.

    (The common thread is to make the change, to know first-hand.)

    Get rid of everything examples:

    • Erase your phone and computer. Re-install the operating system from scratch. Don’t restore from the backup — not even your contacts. Only add back people who contact you. Don’t install any apps unless you can’t do without them.
    • Put everything you own into storage. Move somewhere small and simple, bringing only what you’d take on a two-week trip. Only when you absolutely need something, go get it out of storage. After a year, sell all that stuff in storage.
    • Move across the world. Start from scratch with a new career, new friends, and new approach to life. Every time you start to do something out of habit, interrupt the pattern and try the opposite way instead.

    (These are my favorite. I actually do these things regularly. I love simplifying.)

    open cage

    Why experts are annoying Oct 27, 2019
    Show notes

    When someone becomes an expert at something, you know what else they become? Annoying.

    At a restaurant, your designer friend complains about the font on the menu, your musician friend complains about the background music, and your manager friend complains about the service. Why?

    The problem is that their expertise makes them annoyed. They’re trained to spot errors. They’re so aware of what’s wrong. Even worse, they know exactly how to fix it. They learned the techniques to make things great, so they’re angry when someone didn’t do the obvious solution. They get so frustrated that they can’t focus on their meal, because now they really want to fix the problem.

    These things don’t bother the rest of us. We’re easier to please. Good is good enough.

    So only those who are the most upset, and know how to improve things, do the hard work necessary to make things great. The dissatisfied ones go make things better for all of us.

    Why are experts annoying? For our benefit. They get mad so that we don’t have to.

    Next time your friend is upset and ranting about design, politics, layout, economics, or something else you don’t care enough about, thank them for taking on the burden of knowing how to fix things, and remind them that it’s up to them to make it better.

    expert

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