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FATHERS FOR THE FATHERLESS Scott Wilson is the Senior Pastor of Oaks Church in the South Dallas area. He is committed to raising up the next generation of leaders through The Oaks School of Leadership, preparing more than 100 students every year for ministry with university credits. Scott is a loving husband and proud father. Scott and his wife, Jenni, have three boys: Dillon, Hunter, and Dakota.
Conversation Notes: -
3:56 - Paul Hurkman
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4:13 - Oaks Church, TX
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6:39 - Sharing a difficult moment as a dad.
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8:33 - His counselor told him, "You know what, I think right now he's more tethered to you than he is to God. You're his God-line….until you get out of the way God can't be there."
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11:13 - "We hurt so much when our kids hurt." How can we with younger kids not create a tether to ourselves?
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11:31 - "I want to resolve it for him where everything is fixed but if I do that, he's not going to grow, and it's the angst that causes him to grow."
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11:56 - Think about the situation and determine if it's going to be a tricycle accident or a train wreck, and use that to determine how much to intervene.
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12:53 - Why he goes to counseling.
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15:04 - "I think of a counselor not as a crisis person in my life, but as a growth team member in my life to help me know. I go even when I don't 'need' it."
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16:05 - Develop a growth plan to be a great dad. Talk to a mentor a season ahead. Get a counselor in your life.
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18:31 - We do not grow to experience, we grow by evaluated experience.
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19:21 - What he learned from his dad that he wanted to repeat.
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20:06 - A focus on Truth. Being a safe place to ask questions. Being a safe place of security in the midst of challenges in the world.
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21:11 - "We need to not be ever surprised by what our kids say where they ever get a feeling that it's beyond dad. We set the tone on that."
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22:21 - Telling the story of the day as a way to tell our kids how much we love them. Communicating in a way that they know how much we love them.
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26:46 - Tips for grieving the loss of his dad. "Grief is a gift that God has given us to be able to bring healing to us."
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27:28 - How counseling helped him with the grieving process.
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29:06 - The distance between a good dad and a perfect dad is way greater even than between a good dad and a bad dad.
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30:21 - Parenting with Purpose book & FREE Masterclass
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31:11 - Being a dad who hits the "golden buzzer"
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32:31 - "Sometimes dads aren't even looking. Or they'll look at the deficit they're at now, or the struggle they're in now, but you've gotta look past, you have to look at the person. You've got to let God show you the revelation of who he made them to be. And you've gotta speak that out, call that out. If you're kids became everything you called them to be, what kind of kid would they be, what kind of man would they be, what kind of woman would they be? And that's exactly what you need to be speaking over them and pushing that golden buzzer and believing in them."
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35:31- Have a shoulder ministry, not a stage ministry to lift others up.
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36:16 - Be a spiritual dad or mom.
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37:11 - God picked Elisha and sent Elijah to train him. God picked Joshua and Moses trained him.
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37:35 - "What if we could see greatness, pushed that golden buzzer, and those who are leaders, who are younger than us that are around us, [or] those who don't have a dad, and we stepped in."
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37:44 - Malachi 4:5 - "See, I will send the prophet Elijah to you before that great and dreadful day of the Lord comes. He will turn the hearts of the parents to their children, and the hearts of the children to their parents; or else I will come and strike the land with total destruction."
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38:01 - We are living in the most fatherless generation of all time.
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38:24 - Being dads who actually believe that "the success of my life is actually going to be determined by the success of yours."
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38:47 - "If something is making a generation of dads sick, if something's got a hold, it is self focus. It's looking too much to our own world, our own life."
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39:31 - Parentingwithpurposebook.com - 7 keys to raising world changers
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40:00 - "You can even say the right things and do the right things, but if you haven't gotten healed in your heart over the brokenness and the pain of your past with your dad, and the pain of your past with your mom, it will have a dissonance. You'll speak words that may be right but they are coming out wonky….because you're not speaking from a wholeness and healing inside. And one of the biggest things I see is that people who will let the Holy Spirit guide them through to get healing, man, you can make mistakes, but if you are healed on the inside, it won't cause damage. You can be almost perfect, but if it isn't healed in here it's always coming out weird."
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42:11 - Scott's prayer for the dads
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