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    Dad University Podcast

    Advice For Fathers on Parenting, Relationships, and Family Life

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    Latest Episodes:
    The Art of Good Sex – Interview with SpiresMen Co-founder Joe Zanotelli – Dudes to Dads Podcast Ep 210 Mar 19, 2019
    Show notes

    Joe and his wife Jeni recently co-founded the company SpiresMan, which offers courses to “Teach good men the art of good sex.” Joe is a retired electrical engineer with 25 years of experience, he has an executive MBA From UCSD and holds five US patents. Joe and Jeni have spent the last seven years exploring sexuality, spirituality, and consciousness. He has taught classes and coached men around sexuality for the last three years and is a Certified Orgasmic Meditation Trainer and Coach. 1. How did you get into this area of work? It seems to be a long way from Engineering? What had you want to start SpiresMan? 2. Is it anything like Engineering for you? They seem completely different? Are there some similarities? 3. You say that most men didn’t learn enough about sex to be successful in the bedroom. a) Where do most men learn about sex? b) Can you elaborate on a few things you think most men never learned? 4. Some men my think its not them that’s the problem. They would have sex every night. They may even like it as a way to come down. But their wife, on the other hand, not to say anything bad their wife’s, but she’s just not into it. Don’t you think a class for her is a good idea? 5. What do you see as the biggest challenge as to why men don’t get the support they need around sex? 6. What’s one of the most important things a man needs to know about good sex? 7. A lot of men with kids are frustrated because they have so much to do, like work, and fix things around the house, and play with the kids, and handle things for their wife. Especially if they are a good guy and are doing their best. Do you have any advice for how they can add in another thing to their life, like take a course to learn about good sex, not to mention even just scheduling sex itself, into their full schedules? 8. After couples have kids, often the sex life just dies. The wife might tell her husband she feels fat or gross or unattractive. But no matter how much a man might tell her he think she’s hot, she just doesn’t see it herself. What should he do? 9. Sometimes women seem tired and stressed because of all of the kids and running around they do. A man might have the sense that she doesn’t want to be bothered. How do you think a man should handle this? 10. You teach mean in groups. I could see for some guys this could be intimidating or uncomfortable. What do you see as the benefit of men being in groups with other men? Do you teach privately as well? 11. What kind of other programs are out there that are like SpiresMan? 12. What kind of courses do you offer? 13. What else does SpiresMan offer besides courses? 14. Why don’t you offer courses couples? Can someone really improve their sex life all by themselves? 15. What’s the best way to learn more about SpiresMan? or if someone wants to get a hold of you, what is the best way to do that?


    Stop Complaining If You Want Your Kids To Listen – Dudes to Dads Podcast Ep 209 Mar 12, 2019
    Show notes

    You room is always a mess You never listen to me You are so picky with your food. You take so long to get ready If you are human, you might recognize some of these. They are common complaints that parents have. We get frustrated with our children's behavior, so we complain thinking they are going to change. How's that working for you? As a recovering complainer, I'm going to help you stop complaining so you can actually get your kids or whoever you want to listen to you. This works in relationships too. Let's go over some fundamentals about complaining: #1 - Everyone does it - That certainly doesn't make it right. The average person complains about 30 times a day. I don't think most people realize that they are complaining, but they do. #2 - Complaining effects our brain - so complaining actually rewires our brains for negativity. It changes stuff in your brain. I'm not a doctor but that can't be good. #3 - Complaining effects our health - It releases cortisol and consistent release of cortisol has a bunch of bad effects on your health. Can make your stress and anxiety worse and increase blood pressure. Even with the bad effects, the biggest issue we are talking about here is that 4) Complaining doesn't change behavior - complaining is not an effective strategy for change. This has been proven. If you want your kids to listen to you or you want to change their behavior, complaining is not the answer. One really effective way is to ask questions. Let's look the examples from the beginning of the video: Complaint - You room is always a mess Instead say - What do you need to do before you go out and play? or: Did you want to clean your room before or after you do your homework? Asking them questions is always a good strategy as you let them come up with the solution and they get to make the choice. Here's another: Complaint - You never listen to me Instead ask: Would you prefer to take a shower or bath? or What do we do with our dirty clothes when we take them off? They learn better by having to think of the answer and answering the question. Try this one: Complaint - You are so picky with your food. Instead ask - Do you want your pasta with red sauce or no sauce? or Do you want carrots or celery with your dinner? Labeling them as picky is not going to help them be bolder with their food choices. Work with them not against them. and finally: Complaint - I'm tired of you taking so long to get ready Instead ask: What could I do to help you get ready faster? or if you have a chart for them in the morning: What time do you need to be done eating breakfast? In all of these scenarios we are asking questions to help them understand and solve the problem. So here is a summary: 1) Complaining doesn't work - we got that one 2) Ask questions instead of complaining 3) a bonus tip: Use positive re-enforcement - When they do listen or do what you have asked, make a huge deal about it: Thank you so much for cleaning your room. I really appreciate it. If you stop complaining and use these techniques your children will be more likely to listen to you and you will have lower blood pressure.


    How Becoming a Father Changed Me – Dudes to Dads Podcast Ep 208 Mar 05, 2019
    Show notes

    When you find out your going to become a father, one of the 5 thousand questions that will probably go through your head is "am I going to change?" I know I was concerned with how my life was going to be effected. Little did I know that the positive changes would greatly outweighed any negatives that I was worried about. So in this episode, I'm sharing with you how becoming a father changed me When you are going to be become a father, you know things are about to change. You don't know exactly what, but you know your life is going to be different. For me, there are some very specific things that changed. Overall I think becoming a father has forced me to be a better man. Here are some ways that i have been impacted: #1 - I'm Less Selfish - You can't only think about yourself when you become a father. You hope you are less selfish when you are in a relationship or you get married. But having a child brings it to a whole other level. Decisions are made considering your family. This can be everything from where you are going to dinner all the way down to a career choice. In the past, I could do what i want whenever I want. Now you have to consider others when making decisions and that's ok. #2 - I value time more - I remember when I was young and single, having complete weekends with no plans and no obligations was a regular thing. This doesn't happen very much anymore as a father. Your schedule is tight because if you don't have something planned, you want to spend the time with your family. Also when your child is really young, having an hour of quiet and nothing to do seems like the most amazing thing in the world. But time just becomes more valuable and you don't want to waste it. #3 - I think about my Legacy - Before I had kids, I didn't give much thought to how I was impacting those around me, let alone the community or the even the world. I began to look at the world around my kids in a different way. How could I impact people and leave a mark here after I am gone? Becoming a father had me look more at my ability to impact others. This was my drive to start Dad University and help educate dads around the world. #4 - I've Become more Responsible - Good or bad, when you are a father you always have someone watching you. That little one is watching the way you treat other people, how hard your work, or the food and drink you consume. The choices you make in your life, now have a direct impact on them because they are watching and learning from you. For me, making choices like eating less sugar, drinking less alcohol, and exercising regularly, are examples that I'm trying to set for my kids. They see it. #5 - Better work-life balance - Becoming a father has allowed me to have a better work-life balance. Sure, I work hard and i love what I do. But it doesn't take priority over my family. Whether it's having family dinners, or going on weekend camping trips with my kids, i have been able to find a better work-life balance since becoming a father. Remember: Nobody on their death bed ever said "I should have spent more time at the office". Alan, if anything has any comments or feedback, what should they do?


    Dad To Be Tips Nobody Tells You – Dudes to Dads Ep 207 Feb 26, 2019
    Show notes

    When you are a dad to be everyone tells you that you will never get sleep again, you won't have a social life, and you better make some more money because kids are expensive. Well, those are all true. But what about the secret dad to be advice? The tips and tricks that only experienced fathers know. It's the stuff that has never been revealed...at least I couldn't find it on the internet when I looked. We are pulling back the curtain and giving you dad to be tips that nobody tells you If you are a dad to be, you are probably worried about how to change a diaper or how to hold the baby. Trust me on this, you only need to do those things a few times and you too can consider yourself an expert. I'm more concerned about your well being so these will absolutely help you on your fathering journey: #1 - Learn empathy - If you aren't familiar with empathy, start now. It is the single most important thing in parenting. Empathy is putting yourself in someone else's place and seeing things from their perspective. Being empathetic towards your baby will keep you calmer and make you a better parent. You will better understand why they are upset and relate to them better. It will help you get along better with the baby's mother as well. Learn to be empathetic. #2 - Emotions are OK - Nobody tells you that you will probably get really emotional. You are going to discover emotions you didn't know you had. You will cry because you are so happy. You will be sad because of something that has nothing to do with you. I don't know the exact science behind it, but our hormones are definitely effected by the process of becoming a father. #3 - Stop Complaining - Complaining Doesn't work - I'm not sure who you are complaining to but nobody wants to hear it and it's not an effective strategy. Also, she has it much harder than you do. Instead of complaining, find a solution. Figure out what the problem is and do something about it. Take action. #4: You Don't Have to Know Everything - sure we created Dad University to help you along your fatherhood journey with as many topics as possible, but we all fail...a lot. You are not going to know how to handle a situation, or know exactly what your baby needs. The important thing is to learn what works for you and your child. You will be ok. #5: Enjoy the Present - you may find yourself saying "I can't wait until he can talk, or it is going to be amazing when she walks". Enjoy the present moment and stop worrying about what they are going to do. If you do, you are going to miss it. The time goes by really fast. #6: Your Involvement is Critical - This is a 50/50 deal. You spending one on one time with your baby is so important for them (and you). Don't leave taking care of the child up to mom. It doesn't matter if you work full time or aren't in a relationship with the mom. Your involvement with the baby is crucial and you are 50% parent to that child. Being a dad has so many facets to it. You are going to feel high and lows. You are going to try things and fail. But just know that you can do this and you are going to be awesome. If people have feedback, what should they do?


    How To Be More Patient With Your Child – Dudes to Dads Ep 206 Feb 19, 2019
    Show notes

    If you have listened to some of our other episodes, you have probably guessed that I operate at a fairly high energy level....I get excited about things....I'm what they would call a "Type A" personality. What often comes along with that personally is very low patience. I hate to wait, I want things done immediately, and I am impatient. Having children sort of messes with that. They seem like they have their own agenda and their own timeline. They do things slowly. Alan, have you had some difficulty with patience? So I had to learn to be more patient. In this episode, I'm going I'm going to share with you what worked for me so you can learn how to be more patient with your child. They say that patience is a virtue. It's a skill that can help you battle anger and get along with others. But most importantly, being patient can help you better deal with your kids. Here are some of the ways I am able to be more patient with my kids: #1 - Pause before Reacting - When your are about to react and you can feel your impatience, take a pause. This pause may be taking a few deep breaths It could be counting to 10 Or even leaving the room or taking a short walk if it's an option. The important thing is that you recognize yourself getting impatient and can slow yourself down. #2 - Don't take it personally - Your 3 year old is not trying to ruin your day. They are actually not concerned with you at all. They are just 3 years old. No? really? I've already asked you 4 times. Obviously you don't want to listen to me) As dads, we take so much of our children's actions personally and that can effect our patience. Our fuse gets shorter. We feel like they are out to get us or that they really want to make our life miserable. They don't....at least not while they are young. #3 - Change expectations - Realize that your 4 year old being distracted by some flowers is perfectly normal for a 4 year old. (ahh that's right she is only 4, duh) When you have a better understanding that your child is probably just like most other children that age, your patience starts to improve. #4 - Repeat a mantra - When you feel your patience being tested, you can use a mantra or phrase to repeat. (I will not let them break my serenity) The mantra reminds you that it's important to watch your patience and be mindful that you need to slow down. The mantra brings you back to that. #5 - Meditation - I'm not talking about meditating during the situation, I'm talking about practicing meditation in general when you can. Meditation has been extremely valuable for me. (show sitting and meditating) It's not something that happens overnight. It's a muscle that you build over time. But meditation has taught me to slow down and gives me more power to slow down in those moments when I need to. #6 - Think of yourself as a coach - When your mindset is as a coach rather than a parent, you approach the situation differently. (wearing hat..... Alright, let's go kids. You can do this.) You go into teaching mode which immediately gives you more patience. You are providing instruction and are more understanding that the little person you are dealing with may just not know what to do. #7 - Have Empathy - When you put yourself in someone else's place and see things from their eyes, you get a different perspective. (I can see you are upset because you can't find your shoes. Do you want me to help you look for them?) Empathy will create more patience. You will have a better understanding of what the other person is going through and possibly how your impatience is effecting them. Learning how to be more patient with your child is possible. You got to work at it. Remember these tips and you will improve your patience.


    Postpartum Depression In Men – Dudes to Dads Podcast Ep 205 Feb 12, 2019
    Show notes

    Also know as Paternal Postnatal Depression It's a type of depression caused by the process of pregnancy and the birth of the child 25% (1 in 4) Factors that increase risk: - Stress - Financial, relationship - Lack of sleep - history of depression (can be triggered) - family history - Excessive alcohol consumption - Smoking - Poor diet How do you know if you or someone you know is suffering from it? The Center for Disease Control lists the following signs of depression: Feelings of sadness, hopelessness, depressed mood and/or Loss of interest or pleasure in activities that used to be enjoyable Change in weight or appetite (either increase or decrease) Change in activity: being more or less active than usual Insomnia (difficulty sleeping) or sleeping too much Feeling tired or not having any energy Feelings of guilt or worthlessness Difficulties concentrating and paying attention Thoughts of death or suicide Also, our guest in episode Dr Singley Irritable, agitated, or angry So what do you do? I think it's more difficult for men because there is often a stigma attached to it. Take care of yourself - Body and mind: Get sleep - which can be hard Nutrition - be sure to be eating well Fill Your Mind with Positive Messages - Listen to the podcast, go to Dad University YouTube, listen to motivational speeches Practice Gratitude - can't be depressed if you are grateful Get support - Lean on family and friends Get professional help


    Unplanned Pregnancy – The Reality of For Men – Dudes to Dads Podcast Ep 204 Feb 05, 2019
    Show notes

    This episode is really for the men who find themselves in a situation in which they are part of an unwanted pregnancy or unexpected pregnancy and they are going to be a father. Not so much a happily married many who thought about starting a family and it came a little sooner than expected or you already have a child and you find out a second one is on the way. This is more about a situation in which you just found out a girlfriend or just someone you were intimate with is now pregnant. So what do you do? The first thing is you have to talk to her about the situation. Disclaimer here, I'm talk about all of the situations or options, not making a judgement or putting my personal belief into the situation. Obviously a lot of factors involved in that, your own beliefs, her beliefs. For some people these may not be all options 1) Both together: you agree the pregnancy is terminated (abortion). Done. 2) She does not want to have the baby and you do. 3) She wants to keep the baby and you don't. 4) You both want to have the baby. Here's the thing, in scenario's 2 or 3, you really don't have much say. She doesn't need your consent to terminate a pregnancy and if she wants to keep it, she typically can do that too. If you both want to have the baby, then great, that's an easy one too. We are not playing could have, should have, or would have. You are in this situation so you need to figure out what to do. We are now dealing with situations 3 & 4 in which you are going to be a father. So what do you do now: 2) You mentally begin preparing. You are probably going to be scared and that is totally normal. I think it's a good thing that you are scared. It means you care. you want to do the right thing and you want to make sure the baby is taken care. You have many months to get used to it. We have other podcasts and videos about dealing with pregnancy so we won't go into detail about hormones, etc. #3 - Step up. You are 50% parent to that child and crucial to their well being. Don't let anyone (especially her) have you think that you shouldn't be involved or don't need to be involved. The child will be so much better off with a good and involved father. Even if you and the mom don't work out, you need to be 50% of the parent to that child. a) Improve your situation - Stepping up might be looking at your current situation and making advancements...do you need to finish school? do you need to get a better job? Nothing will help speed up the process like a child on the way. But remember, your involvement is crucial. you are 50% parent, so act like it. b) Be empathetic toward her - realizing she is going through some serious stuff herself. Not only mentally, but she will be physically changing too. It'a a lot harder than your situation. c) Setup your network - Try to get support from friends and family. Do this in advance so you have options and everyone has time to prepare. Be sure not to expect anything but certainly take advantage of people willing to help. 4) Do it for the child - Whether this is getting along with the mom, partying, spending money on things you don't need, etc. Whatever you may be doing. You have a baby on the way so get ready to be a father to that child.


    How to Get More Attention From Your Wife – Dudes to Dads Podcast Ep 203 Jan 29, 2019
    Show notes

    You probably fall into one of these two categories: 1) You are a soon to be dad or a new dad and you are concerned that your sex life is going to be different (and not as good) after the baby is born. 2) and then the other group already has a child or multiple children and you are wanting to have sex more often with your wife than they you currently are. Either way, the good news is that we have some tips for you to get a little more attention at home We talk a lot on this podcast about really important topics like empathy, gratitude, & parenting techniques. You know what I keep getting asked, "How can I get my wife to _____" and that usually revolves around having more sex or something involving sex. Here's the disclaimer: Neither of us our sex therapists. But realizing how important this topic is for you, I figured I would provide some insight as to what I have learned. Some of this is through trial and error as well as having great communication with my wife. In other words, I listened. #1 - Stop complaining - Nobody wants to hear you complain that your not having enough sex, especially your wife. When someone complains to you about anything, does it motivate you to change? Complaining is not an effective strategy. So let's get that out of the way first. Stop complaining to anyone. #2 - Realize we are different - Men are X-rated, woman are PG - If you ask a man to define sensuality, it probably involves some kind of nudity or sex act. If you ask women the same question, it more likely involves, conversation, physical touch like holding hands, gazing into each other's eyes. Remember this one too: (words on screen or some kind of graphic representation) A man needs sexual fulfillment in order to respond to a woman emotionally While a woman needs emotional fulfillment in order to respond to a man sexually yes, We are very different. #3 - Understand her love language - Author Gary Chapman wrote a famous book called The 5 Love Languages. In it, he talks about the different ways we express and receive love. If your wife's love language is "acts of service" then you don't spend much time getting her gifts. Its' not going to do much for her. If her love language is physical touch, then provide her affection instead of trying to woo her with words of affirmation. Try to understand what her love language is. #4 Focus on her not you - Ask yourself the question "what can I do to make her day a little easier? and do that. If you don't know the answer then ask her that question directly. "What can I do to help you?" In addition to helping her, focusing on her is not just outside the bedroom, it's important in the bedroom as well. #5 - Drop your expectations - Men think that anything that is romantic or even remotely sensual can be put into the sex category. It's on! We just kissed, that means she wants to have sex. She was flirting with me so she definitely is open to having sex She said some pretty nice things to me earlier, so she must be thinking about sex. No, no, and no. What happens is that she will begin to pull away because you think everything is related to sex. You need to get that out of your head. Some things, or most things, or even almost everything, isn't necessarily related to sex for her. 6) Show appreciation - After having kids, woman can often feel like they are not "good enough", "sexy enough" or whatever enough is in their head. If we are putting demands on them or being critical, this is only going to make it worse. Provide her genuine compliments and positive re-enforcement showing appreciation when you can. Compliment her on something non-sexual. "I really appreciate that you made dinner." or "I heard you dealing with the kids earlier. you are so good at handling that stuff." The bottom line is that if you want to have success in the bedroom, you have to understand how to work outside the bedroom. Listen to her,


    Parenting Mistakes We All Make But Need To Stop – Dudes to Dads Podcast Ep 202 Jan 22, 2019
    Show notes

    I have never made any mistakes in parenting......said no parent....ever. Parenting and mistakes go hand in hand. I'm going to provide you a little tough love in this podcast. You may not like some of the things what you are going to hear...but you need to hear them. 7 common Parenting mistakes we are all guilty of. We all make parenting mistakes. So if you don't want to contribute to messing up your kid, stop making these mistakes: #1 - Telling them you are proud: Save your comments on this one. I won't agree with you. Stop saying "I'm so proud of you" (Text on screen with big X through it). Instead say to them "You should be proud of yourself." (put those words on screen) It is 1000X more important that your child thinks positively of themselves versus you thinking positively of them. You do not want them relying on you or others for praise or acceptance. They should feel good about whatever they did and be reminded of that. "You should be proud of yourself. You did that!" #2 - You do too much for them: Your child is much more capable than you are giving them credit for. When they are young, they can dressed on their own, clean up after them self, eat with their own hands. If they are old enough to walk, they can walk to a trash can. If they are old enough to have a backpack, THEY need to carry it. We often do things for them as a way of showing them our love and we think we are helping. But you are actually doing them a disservice. Allowing them to do things them self is crucial for their own development. #3: Do as I say, not as I do: In other words, you are telling your child not to yell at you, but you yell at them. Or you get upset at them using their electronic devices too much but you can't put your's down. Monkey see, monkey do. Have you ever heard that? We are all guilty of not practicing what we preach. Don't eat that candy, it's horrible for you (as we sneak and eat the candy after the kids go to bed). Your children are watching your every move and listening to everything you say (even if you don't think they ever listen to you). #4: You are their friend instead of a parent: Our job as parents is to teach them and be their coach on the journey of life. We are not here to be their friend. I see parents that are afraid to say no. They don't put boundaries or rules in place. My kid might get upset. Listen, you can have an amazing relationship with your child and still be the parent. Kids needs structure and guidance. You don't have to be a jail warden but striving to be their friend is not our role. #5: You allow them to have poor nutrition: Refer back to #3 on this one. If you are allowing your kids to eat bad, it probably means you eat bad as well. It is so important to teach our children how to make good food and drink choices. Stop allowing them to have so much sugar. While this can be a hard one for most people, in our family we try to go by the rule: "eat good food before bad" (put on screen). This means if you are going to have something "bad" for you, you need to eat something good first. Pretty simple. #6: You solve their problems: It doesn't matter if it's two siblings arguing, or a child has an issue they are facing at school. Stop solving all of their problems. I know... you are trying to help them. but the way you can help them is by allowing them to figure out solutions. For example, two siblings arguing over a game. Instead of solving argument,, you may ask the question, "It looks like you aren't agreeing here. What do you think you could do to solve this problem" Or your 8 year old forgot to do their homework. Don't call the school and talk with the teacher to see if they can make it up. You ask your 8 year old what they can do? If they want to talk to the teacher that will be up to them. It's not your problem to solve. Sure, their could be some more serious situations in which you may step in.


    Getting Through The Tough Times of Fatherhood – Dudes To Dads Ep 201 Jan 15, 2019
    Show notes

    As men, we are expected to be strong, to control our emotions, and handle whatever comes our way. Well the part society didn't seem to consider is that we are actually human. Humans get sad, angry, frustrated, and yes...depressed. While life is overall wonderful, we all experience ups and downs. In this podcast, I'm going to share with you some of the techniques & tips I have used to get through the tough times Every person experiences tough times so know that you are not alone. You may have financial hardship, difficulties with your career, relationship troubles, health issues, or something else effecting you in a big way. Just know there are things you can do to improve your situation. Now...change requires action. I'm going to repeat that: CHANGE REQUIRES ACTION. If you don't take action, you are not even giving yourself the opportunity for change. #1: Acknowledge It - You can't bury your head in the sand and expect something is going to go away. Acknowledging there is an issue is so important. Feel the anger, the pain, the loss, whatever it is you have inside. Let it out: cry, yell or even just talk about it. Be sure not to judge your feelings. Give yourself permission to have feelings and acknowledge the issue you are facing. #2: Seek Support - We men often have difficulty admitting we need help. While we might be able to often solve problems on our own, there are situations where it's just too much. But we are concerned we might be judged or think it's some kind of weakness to ask for help. If you have tried to solve the problem on your own and can't, it is absolutely ok to ask for help. Lean on your family and friends for support. If you feel you can't lean on family or friends, try a support group. Whether locally in person or an online support group, there may be resources and people dealing with the same things you are. #3 - Get Professional Help - There are experts in any kind of issue we face. My mother passed away years ago and it was so painful. I had never experienced such a loss. My heart literally hurt. Per the recommendation of my father, I ended up going to grief counseling. I learned so much from talking about my feelings with a professional. You may not think someone else can help you, but they can. I felt like it really helped me get through the hardest time in my life. #4: Be Good To Your Body - (show person sleeping, broccoli, lifting weights) If you are experiencing issues in your head (point to head), try taking care of your body). You need to make sure you are getting plenty of sleep, exercising, and eating healthy foods however don't go the other direction and do it too much. We can either neglect these things when we are going through something difficult or submerse ourselves in them and do it too much I can also say that for me, reducing my alcohol consumption had a big impact on me. In addition to simply feeling physically better overall, I noticed a big reduction in my mood swings. My lows are less frequent and when they do happen, they are much shorter in duration. #5: Practice Gratitude - When you are down it can be really hard to think of something positive. But remember, change requires action. It can be as simple as you were able to put your feet on the floor this morning. You are able to breathe, or you have clean water. Yes it can be that basic. Make a gratitude journal and write down 3 things you are grateful for and why right when you get up in the morning and right before you go to sleep at night. You begin to train your brain to focus on the positive things in your life rather than the negative. Here's the deal and I'm going to sum it up for you. We all experience troubles in our life. We need to acknowledge it, feel it, get support, and take action. When you do these things, you get through the down times much quicker. Also, if it's something you can change, you need to change it. If it's something you can't change,


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