Dad University Podcast

Latest Episodes:

First Time Dad Tips to Avoid Sympathy Weight Gain | Dad University Podcast Ep. 230 Aug 06, 2019

Show notes

You are a first-time dad and boy are you excited. You are right there with your wife. Your being as supportive as you can, you are going to Dr's appointments, your helping out extra around the house, and you are gaining weight just like she is. The difference is that she has a baby growing inside of her. You don't. In this episode, we are covering a few first-time dad tips to avoid that dad bod and not gain sympathy weight. There is a term called Couvade syndrome which refers to expecting fathers experiencing both psychological and physical changes throughout pregnancy. It's a real thing. I'm not trying to scare you it doesn't mean you are going to get it. Not everyone experiences this. But there are men who can experience changes in hormones, or they experience some pains and even some depression. Sometimes it can also be referred to as pregnant dad. For the purpose of this episode, we are going to focus on the weight gain and your health. Here is some first-time dad tips to avoid sympathy weight gain: First, Get plenty of sleep - The body needs rest. People will say "well you better sleep now because you won't once the baby arrives. Sometimes that is true but sleep is simply important before or after a baby is born. Just get plenty of sleep. Instead of watching TV at night, go to sleep. It will also help you eat less if you are a late-night eater. Next, Avoid Sugar - Honestly sugar is evil. If messes with your brain, your energy level, and is addictive. I know foods with sugar taste good but you can find alternatives. Reduce or remove your sugar intake and you will see positive effects on your body. You will start looking better and feeling better. another first-time dad tip: Get moving - If your wife is willing and able to walk while she is pregnant, walking together can be great. You get outside and it can be a great time to talk. If you like playing sports, join a team and do that. You don't have to run marathons or do intense cardio workouts (although that's fine), but just movement, in general, is a great way to burn calories and avoid dad bod. next, Lift weights - Personally, this is my favorite. Lifting weights can help you reduce anxiety and stress, and boost hormones which can improve your mood. ...and you feel strong. For me, my favorite time of the day is after a weight workout. It's a great feeling. I know not everyone loves to go to a gym, but there are plenty of home workouts you can do to increase your strength. another tip .....Drink water If you are drinking soda, try water instead. If you feel you need to have carbonation, then drink of the non-sugar sodas that are now really popular. Also, try to reduce your alcohol intake as most alcoholic drinks have a lot of extra calories. Setting these healthy habits now before the baby is born will help you stick with it after the baby is born. Staying healthy for your child is going to be important for them and for you. We would love to hear from you. What is something you are doing to stay healthy during pregnancy?

Tips For New Dads During Pregnancy | Dad University Podcast Ep. 229 Jul 30, 2019

Show notes

#1 Be Empathetic - Out of all of the tips for new dads during pregnancy, being empathetic is the most important. If you don't get anything else out of this video, remember this one. Put yourself in her place. Look at the pregnancy from her point of you. Imagine being her. If you can learn to be empathetic during the pregnancy, you are well on your way to the husband hall of fame #2 - Don't Comment on Her Appearance - She may call herself names or comment on how she looks. Say nothing. If you have a problem with keeping your mouth shut and just don't have that ability, then say something nice. I'm repeating this, don't ever, ever say anything negative about how she looks. I'm warning you now, you will regret it. #3 - Listen to Her - Us men have a tendency not to be very good listeners. But an important tip for new dads during pregnancy is to listen to her. She may be scared, have doubts, or are concerned about one thing or another. Be there for her and listen. Remember the 1st tip of being empathetic. #4 - Help Her - She may be capable of handling things on her own, but that doesn't mean you can't help. It's a great way to be supportive. Some women are perfectly fine asking for help but then some find it difficult. If you are not sure how you can help her, then ask her. Make sure she knows and is clear that her asking for your help is welcomed. That could mean going to the doctor's visits so you understand what is going on, washing her car as a surprise, or doing extra cleaning around the house. It doesn't matter, figure out what would make her feel good. This is a very important tip for new dads. #5 - No Complaining - You simply don't have the right, and nobody wants to hear it. She's the one carrying the child, dealing with morning sickness and feeling the effects of the physical and mental changes that pregnancy can bring. The main tip for new dads here is just to keep quiet, don't complain. You may think something, just don't say it. You are in a no-win situation. You are going to want to follow these tips for new dads during pregnancy to reduce stress on her and to let her know you are there for her. This is crucial during pregnancy as it sets the tone for when the child arrives.

First Time Parent Relationship Advice | Dad University Podcast Ep. 228 Jul 28, 2019

Show notes

Being a first-time parent is awesome. I was both excited and nervous. I wasn't around kids very much before I had my first child. But you learn quick. Here are some first time parent tips that helped us: 1) Agree on Responsibilities - actually, write it down. Make a daily chart of what you are responsible for. I do the laundry on Tuesday, you get dinner. On Thursday I do the bath, you feed him and put him to bed. My wife and I sat down and had this discussion and understanding what is expected of each other can reduce a lot of arguments. 2) Communicate What You Want - This was one of the best pieces of first-time parent advice that was given to me. Nobody knows what you want or need unless you tell them. If you are wanting a break, tell your spouse. If you are wanting to connect, talk about it. It's ok to communicate what you want. Be prepared that your spouse may not feel the same way you do at the moment. As an example, you may want more intimacy....but your spouse isn't concerned about that. You might have to be a little more patient. As first time parents, romance may slow down a bit. Find other ways to connect and help each other. 3) Give Your Spouse Positive Re-enforcement - Whatever you do, do not be critical of how your spouse is doing something. "You changed the baby wrong". Well, you can't seem to load the dishwasher correctly. Complaining doesn't change behavior. Positive re-enforcement does. Thank you so much for changing the baby's diaper. I saw you did the dishwasher. That was helpful. As a first-time parent, there are going to be a lot of opportunities to be trying new things. Encourage each other instead of tearing each other down. 4) Take Time For Yourself - While you certainly will have less time than you did before, carve out time to do things that you enjoy. Discuss this with your spouse. When my wife and I were first-time parents, we made sure that each of us still got to exercise. It was really important to both of us. We couldn't do it at the same time, so I went to the gym early in the morning and then went I got back, my wife did her workout. It's important that you don't lose yourself. Your life does change, but you want to still be able to have some time for yourself. Also, the one on one time with the baby is really good for bonding. 5) It's OK Not to be Perfect Parents - Making mistakes is part of parenting. There are so many opportunities to make mistakes and you will. Know that it is ok to make mistakes, just try not to repeat them very much. Being a first-time parent is a learning experience. You and your spouse are embarking on a long journey. Understand there are going to be a lot of ups and downs. Realize that these ups and downs are normal and you will make it through.

How to Be a Dad To A Daughter | Dad University Podcast Ep. 227 Jul 16, 2019

Show notes

We had our son first and then our daughter about 2 years after. And it was different. I couldn't exactly explain it, but the connection a dad has with his daughter is just different than he has with his son. What I'm about to share with you is what I feel is important. This is how to be a dad to a daughter First, Focus on her internal value - When you praise or complement your daughter, try to make it about what is inside. Compliment her on how nice she treats other people, how helpful she is, her abilities or how your daughter shows strength. If you are going comment on something external, then do it on something she has a choice of. I like those shoes. That shirt is very colorful. Try to avoid complimenting her on things she doesn't have a choice of her smile, her eyes or her how she looks. This is important in learning how to be a dad to a daughter. Now listen, I can see the comments now: why is it so wrong to compliment her on how she looks? Ask yourself a simple question: what do you want her to value? Her outward appearance or who she is as a person? If you make it about who she is as a person, she will be fine with her outward appearance. It doesn't work in reverse. Next, Be Mindful of Your Limiting Beliefs - understanding how to be a dad to a daughter is understanding how often we are guilty of putting limitations on them without realizing it: Sure, there are differences in genetics and hormones at an early age which we can often see. Boys may have stronger visual-spatial abilities so they may push cars around or climb more often. Whereas girls are better at verbal tasks or understanding emotions. But what we do as parents is we then emphasize those differences by re-enforcing the behavior. We wrestle with our sons and give our daughters dolls. You want to know how to be a dad to a daughter, don't limit what she can do. Next, Teach her that She is in Control - She is in charge of herself. She is in control of her body, she is in control of her emotions. Let's start with the control of her body - she gets to choose who she gives affection to. She gets to choose what she does with her body. She is in control. Nobody else gets to control it. For her emotions - she gets to control what things mean and how things affect her. I have a video called "Everyone else is responsible for my happiness) which goes over this concept in detail. Teach her that she is in control. Other people do not get to control her. The most important thing about How to be a dad to a daughter is to Be the example - how you treat her and her mother effects who she becomes and her views on men. You want to provide her a positive male role model.

The Benefits of Family Vacations | Dad University Podcast Ep. 226 Jul 09, 2019

Show notes

When I think back on my childhood, some of the great memories are the family vacations we took. We went to the mountains, to the beach, on cruises. My parents loved to travel so they would allow us to tag along every once in a while. Do you remember going on family vacations when you were younger? Maybe we took more pictures during vacations so that is why I remember them. I understand not everyone has the financial means to do something extravagant, but getting away with the family can be an awesome adventure. I have seen a few notes in which experts say that parents spending money on vacations is better than toys. Spending money on experiences makes us happier than things. Here are some benefits: 1) Making Memories - No question that these trips can create memories. While there certainly can be the chance of negative memories if something goes wrong, we prefer to focus on the positive memories that come from it. 2) Improve bonding - when you experience things together, that in itself can bring you closer together. 3) Expands the kids' comfort zone - Vacations exposed us to different things - new people, new places, cultures, food. Getting kids out of their comfort zone is a good thing. It's a break in routine. It can even improve their social skills as they interact with people they normally don't. 4) Benefit brain development - all of the sensations we experience through touch, sight, smell, etc. Then you also have the brain expanding when you go and seek adventure. 5) Reduces stress - Most vacations are designed to help you relax and unwind. they are supposed to reduce your stress. If this isn't happening then you are probably choosing the wrong vacations. Some people reduce their stress by participating in activities while others prefer to read a good book in a quiet place. You do what works for you and your family. 6) Promotes happiness - not only is it proven that having something to look forward to can improve our happiness, but while you are on vacation you release happiness hormones during your experiences. There is also a thing called "happiness anchor" which children can use The truth is for most people with young kids, they go where they want to go and the kids come along. I think this is fine. When kids are young, they will probably not remember the vacation. So you are going to want to guarantee a place where you will have fun.

Teaching Your Child Gratitude | Dad University Podcast Ep. 225 Jul 02, 2019

Show notes

We have spoken that gratitude helps with depression. It's hard to be depressed and sad if you are really grateful. Teaching our kids gratitude is valuable for that reason but it also is good manner Raising Grateful Children Project at THE UNIVERSITY of NORTH CAROLINA at CHAPEL HILL http://hussong.web.unc.edu/drrl/rgc/ What we NOTICE in our lives for which we can be grateful How we THINK about why we have been given those things How we FEEL about the things we have been given What we DO to express appreciation in turn Here are some tips: 1) You need to be grateful - You need to verbally express it, show it, and really mean it. 2) Teach them the value of Thank You - This means saying it, writing a thank you note, or even doing something for someone else as a thank you. 3) Give back - encourage generosity...donating time or effort to those less fortunate or even just helping someone who needs it. They can help others at school...it can simply be being a friend to someone that may not have friends. 4) They participate in purchases - if they want something, they need to buy it or earn something to get it. 5) Start a gratitude journal - have them right it down daily 6) Travel - see places different than your own. If you have the means to travel, showing them other places provides context for how much they have. 7) Have them help - they are part of the family and they need to help around the house.

How to Promote Creativity in Your Child | Dad University Podcast Ep. 224 Jun 25, 2019

Show notes

1) Allow them to be bored - stop entertaining them. This forces them to be creative. 2) Limit use of electronics - while some games are creative, watching television doesn't help their creativity 3) Don't solve their problems - ask them questions instead? How can you solve this? Force them to come up with solutions 4) Create an area of the house for play - if you can....whether garage or playroom...allow them a space in which they can call their own and take part in how it looks and what is there. 5) Spend time outdoors - encourage them to play outside. We had a huge forest growing up. We made forts, were forced to be creative. 6) Encourage dress up or costumes - Having super heroes and characters 7) Allow them to dress themselves and/or pick out their clothes - children will wear the same thing every day if they are allowed. 8) Encourage creative/art gifts - When relatives and friends ask what to get them - encourage creative gifts - paper, drawing, paints, crayons, Lego's, blocks, etc.

Reducing Your Child’s Anxiety | Dad University Podcast Ep. 223 Jun 18, 2019

Show notes

Nearly all kids experience some form of separation anxiety from 1-3 years old. This is when they get really upset when they see mom or dad leave. Not just upset but really upset. Alan, do you remember having any anxieties as a child? You said you were shy? Do you know why that is? But for some kids, it doesn't stop there. They begin to have additional anxieties. This can be from specific objects, bring around people, animals, sounds. We don't want to be the one eliminating all of the anxieties as we want our child to be able to manage themselves. But we can certainly coach and teach them to assist themselves. Here are a few tips: 1) Teach them breathing and/or meditation techniques to calm themselves - Even at a very young age, learning breathing techniques is valuable. The technique of smelling the air with your nose, then blowing out the candle with your mouth was one we used. 2) You remain calm - You getting worked up is not going to help the situation as they feed off of you. It is so important for you to remain calm. 3) Let them know it's ok to fail - This definitely applies as the child get's older. We want to be very clear with our child that it doesn't matter that they win or get to the top. An example of this is a climbing tower. The child may not want to do it because they think they have to get to the top. Instead you can say, try it, and you go how far you want to. 4) Encourage them but don't push too hard - In the tower example, I've seen parents push their kids when it's clear they don't want to do it. Come on, come on, and they don't stop. 5) Face fears - There is a fine line here but we sometimes need them to face their fear. You have to use good judgement. 6) Don't make it a big deal - Ok, that was fun. Maybe we can try next time. Talk about it - it's ok to be scare or anxious 7) Be empathetic - Don't say "Don;t worry" or "Relax" Instead be empathetic "I understand you are scared. It can be really scary to climb the wall. I think you are totally capable of it. How about you try? Just see how far you want to go?" 8) Explain the feelings they have as a positive - fight or flight - those feelings protect us. Help them understand it's totally normal to be scared. 9) Use positive re-inforcement - when they do something, make a huge deal about it. How did that feel? You just did it! You did that all on your own.

Your Child Doesn’t Have to Go To College | Dad University Podcast Ep. 222 Jun 11, 2019

Show notes

I want to talk about college. When I was growing up, going to college was a given. It really wasn't an option. Both of my parents went to college and it was just what you did. While I didn't realize it at the time, college was something my parents were set on investing in. And sending 3 kids to school was an insane investment and risk. Were they going to get a return on investment? Fortunately they had the means to be able to send us to school. You apply to colleges during high school and you pick a school. My oldest sister went to an ivy league school and my other older sister went to college in Arizona. I applied to a few school and visited my sister in Arizona. She was part of a sorority so needless to say for a 17/18 year old boy, seeing the sorority girls help solidify my choice on where to go. But of course they had a great business program which was the most important. I can't speak for countries outside the US, but in a large part of the US, especially in more affluent areas, going to college is expected. The problem with this is that not everyone belongs in college. I can't speak for my sisters but I think college was a great experience for all 3 of us. I ended up going to graduate school to study business...specifically entrepreneurship so for me it was really valuable. I competed in business plan competitions and learned a lot that I was able to apply. I ended up going into business for myself. However, I enjoyed the structure. I think that for the kids that struggle in school, whether they simply weren't prepared or are just not made for it, parents need to back off. Find out what the child is good at and let them focus on that. Now this doesn't mean the parents are going to allow them to live at home and bum around. If they are not going to school, they need to do something....find a job and experience taking care of themselves. I think the hard part for parents is they feel its a reflection of them and they have to be ok with their social circle. For many this would be really hard to do. I think this is where there is a huge breakdown. Parents are forcing their kids to go to school when they really shouldn't be in it.

The Benefits of Kindness – How Being Nice Can Make Improve Your Health & Help Others | Dad University Podcast EP 221 Jun 04, 2019

Show notes

People often think being kind is altruistic...it's not. It makes us feel good. Health Benefits Makes you feel good - Releases serotonin in the brain which improves our mood. Being nice to someone makes us happy. Reduce depression and can calm you down. Spending money on someone else can make you more happy than spending it on yourself Reduces Stress - Get's you to focus on other things rather than worrying about yourself. Prevent illness - Oxycontin release happens when we help others. Oxycontin reduces inflammation...lowers blood pressure. Live Longer - having people around you is associated with living longer. Friendships and meaningful relationships are important for that. It slows aging. Effects on Other People 1) It's contagious - when you are kind or help someone, they are inclined to help or be kind to someone else. Pay it forward. Butterfly effect. 2) Makes them feel good...impactful for someone. 3) Improves relationships - We are wired for kindness. It can make a bond stronger among 2 people. Dalai Lama says "if you can’t be kind, avoid harming others."

Our TOPPODCAST Picks

Follow Us

Stay Connected

Related Podcasts

Links

Stay Connected