Crooked Butterfly Podcast

Latest Episodes:

Why try so hard to be an Extra? Jul 24, 2019

Show notes

I hope everyone gets through the false close and into the last 90sec thought.
Talking my way through my desire to be an extra on someone else's set vs spending more energy on my own main character. Despite trying to bullshit myself that I am fine or don't, there are a handful of indicators and signals that I'm in fault.
I feel repurposed and energized moving forward after this one.
I want to be my own main character so I can author the story that sets conditions for my children and immediate loved ones to have the opportunity for the best possible story for themselves.

Self Doubt Struggles and Small WIns Jul 17, 2019

Show notes

A conversation about struggling in the moment and the awareness in it for the small win. Putting a small action together on the heels of the awareness creates a lifting sensation and opens up the opportunity to reinforce a positive pattern in the eventuality of the next struggle.

Family Thoughts Jul 10, 2019

Show notes

We recently returned from a cousin's wedding and a flood of memories from childhood regarding family has occupied my mind since. Mostly the greatest and fondest of sorts, but also some hard or uncomfortable ones. Along with those came a tremendous appreciation for the things that make my family so wonderful and how much I value them.
I started to entertain thoughts from this on a grand scale of citizenship, working my way back to a smaller population pool to where I might start to find these same feelings. It was an open ended thought that needs exploration; hopefully design, that gave way to questioning how I am/can provide opportunities for my own children, loved ones, & closest friends to have opportunity to grow these same memories and connections.

Annual Madness Challenge Jul 03, 2019

Show notes

Just wandering around what the Annual Madness is and why I host it.
I had a truly unique and remarkable experience with a cadre of peers while an instructor at the Infantry Officer Course. I was surrounded by the best of the best at our craft and pressed everyday to be better than my best. Somehow somewhere an unspoken something something developed in the way we loved and respected each other. Predicated on experiences and values and a way of professionalism that was never intentionally designed. It was incredible and I look back at those guys and times with tremendous fondness.
The Madness Challenge and manners fo undertaking it are my attempt to recreate some sort of that and try to share it in a certain way with others. At a minimum, it helps me attempt to hold myself accountable to those same energies that drove me at my best then; in the absence of having each other at one's side today.
Semper Fi

Start w/ Right & Wrong and Work Your Way to Center Jun 26, 2019

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So much to unpack in the episode this week.
Starting out by calling myself out and then walking through Black & White to reduce Grey Area and circumstantial / exception thinking and mentality. I like being definitive at both ends of extremes and working my way inward to identify where I can spend time developing thought, consideration, and consciousness.
I'm not a fan of individuals who have such strong opinions or are rationalizationaries (another new word) who do not have a sturdy foundation on what they believe, value, or stand for - don't play 'move the line' or create grey area exceptions with me when you can't do the simple easy with conviction.

Holding onto Barriers is Exhausting Jun 20, 2019

Show notes

Returning from the Keala Leadership Camp, I spent a lot of time thinking about the common theme that young adults need instead of the specific needs of a specific audience/community might have.
Holding onto Anger or Hate is an absolute way to inhibit yourself to being present / mindful. Holding onto either is to shackle you to the past. Holding on to Being Cool is another way through tie yourself to artificial constructs of what is actually cool. It's all a part of building up walls - and that upkeep is expensive.
Then, I put myself in check with where I'm wasting energy at the expense of personal growth opportunity.

Response to a comment on Giving It First Jun 12, 2019

Show notes

I recently recorded a short podcast for Spartan Race for my Monday show: Spartan Stand. It was about giving first whatever it is you most want out of life. It will always return and then, tenfold. But you can't give it for the sake of it returning, you must give for the pure function of giving. A much hard thing to do at first, especially when introduced the concept. But, you can habituate it by growing goodness.
Anyways, it's a fitting conversation as I head to work with the Keala Foundation for a week whose tagline is #give
This episode is a response to a gentleman who made a comment on the youTube channel where the Spartan Up podcast series is hosted. I start to tackle his common denominator mindset.

Longing, Lost Appreciation, & Re-Centering Jun 05, 2019

Show notes

I find myself longing tremendously for a few things when I am apart from them; not talking about tangible material items. Then, not so conversely, my appreciation and awareness of the value when I'm with them is not so magnificent as the longing was. Or, at least, along the same recognition wavelength.
I'm working myself through on what this is all about and how I can influence changes in the imbalance of appreciation. I refuse to accept the "well, maybe it's natural that it is like this" rationale.

Weak People Suck May 29, 2019

Show notes

It's easy to automatically assume I mean physically weak and I'm a meathead jerk. Maybe I was a dozen or so years ago when I started using this phrase. But, it means so much more to me today.
What I've come to believe is that people who are weak in any of the 4 areas: Physically, Emotionally, Intellectually, & Spiritually; are sucking at life. And, it's not on an absolute / comparative scale. It's in relation to oneself and their own capacity to develop.
I just want to touch on opening up the conversation about what it is to be weak in each of the areas for what it means to me. In an effort to further define and hone in on my personal maturity across all four.

The Road Less Traveled May 22, 2019

Show notes

Be careful, or you'll misread it again...
This week is a short tie in between Ignorance, The Road Less Travelled, The High Road, and Thinking Outside the Box.
Not to insult anyone (Over Inflation...) I kept it a touch short to allow space for your own thoughts to keep wrestling.
Be critical.
I recommend reading the poem by Robert Frost and maybe a few interpretations before using the phrase again.

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