Crooked Butterfly Podcast

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Crooked Butterfly Podcast 2020 Dec 11, 2019

Show notes

We're going to start off struggling out loud about last weeks episode ad how not satisfied I was (am still in this moment as I type this) with it.
Then, we are going to dig into stepping up to the plate with a little more effort and intent moving forward.
Next season's podcast is going to have some more structure to it. Some guests, direct leadership statements/discussion, continued ramble sessions, and some challenges.
Looking forward to receiving any input from listeners.

BigFish Foundation (BFF) Dec 04, 2019

Show notes

This episode isn't ultimately about announcing the non-profit we're launching as much as it is about the why, how, and what driving me to do it.
I have a tendency to think small. Or maybe better stated - not think big; big enough. It's weird, because during my career I prized myself as seeing a little more robust. When I really think about it, it's that I don't think big enough picture when it comes to myself and endeavors. Then, if I do, I find myself waffling on whether it's a good idea or too much or nonsense later on down the road.
But, to say it aloud (and to an audience) is to breathe life into it and create accountability.
So, doing this is about creating consistency and resonance with myself; in a sort of fashion.

'The Hard Way' comments Nov 27, 2019

Show notes

We recently released the full length video of "The Hard Way". Super happy with how it turned out and how every time I watch it, I'm brought brings back into the moment. To reflect and grow from the thoughts, emotions, and overall experience.
This episode just talks a little about what the intent was and drifts into some thoughts about how I tackle challenge, life, and design events. Some of the why.
Many thanks to Preston Smith, Jonathon Mayfield, and Con Williamson for supporting capturing the real and authentic aspects of the process.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRVdpsX_4KM&t=5s

Hey, Tommy Tough Nuts... Nov 20, 2019

Show notes

Working through getting into when the programmed aggression / tough guy mode needs to be switched over to patient / prudent. Like, at what age or career progression through life is it time to start evolving through an anger originated behavior pattern. At what point do you start to be the tired cliche and marginalize your own effectiveness?
Be the man you needed twenty years ago for someone else today. Hey Commander or Colonel or First Sergeant or COO or whatever, isn't it time to stop being all "operator" asshole aggro and tough nuts?
It's a conversation I wish I had started with myself a little sooner in my career so to better help mentor the younger generation that the conversation needs to happen. You can't go through life to the end on asshole mode. Well, I guess you can, but that's pretty lamers.

Filling a Hole or Making it Deeper Nov 13, 2019

Show notes

Entertaining a question received from a friend about the endurance events I enjoy so much.
~paraphrasing~
When you commit and find yourself consumed with participating in these endurance events, are you trying to fill a hole and do you end up making it deeper?
I think the question is answered differently for everyone. And the conversation can be applied to more 'obsessions' or 'passions' than just endurance sports.
I'm a fan of balance. Drifting to one side or the other from time to time but generally coming back to center. It's when you aren't having the conversation that the world will end up jerking you back over the center to autocorrect.

Toughness through Teamwork Nov 06, 2019

Show notes

It's a simple conversation about how putting others first over your superficial personal needs will make you tough.
Deciding not to do a write up about this one. Just listen.

The Truth - Because, not If Oct 30, 2019

Show notes

"The truth hurts because you let it"
I overheard someone say this the other day and I found it curious. I also found it oddly coincidental given some feedback and conversation about last week's podcast and calling out bullshit.
I don't think the truth hurts 'IF' you let it. It hurts 'BECAUSE' you let it. That suggests ownership of your actions/ decisions/ judgment before a controllable "oops" happens. Not a mechanism of control after the fact.
But, seems like these days people generally tend towards a desire to control others as it relates to themselves instead of remembering that they have ultimate control if they took their own diligent personal responsibility.

Thoughts from the Cheap Seats Oct 23, 2019

Show notes

In response to a handful of messages, reach outs, and conversations regarding my IG post on Big Talkers.
I've been occupied in my head and heart for a few weeks actually, going back to another post I made about Tough Guys.
The world is made up of a wonderful spectrum of characters. All with their 'flavor'. Whether I like a flavor or not isn't the discussion, rather it's the thought processes that go on about the why and why different.
I do my best to be free of judgment and open to consideration of various perspectives in most everything I do. No exception with this dialogue. There's no attack, just contrast. I try very hard to keep the behind the curtain knowledge insulated from my train of reason.
Choose whatever flavor you want or like in life. Understand that my flavor tastes like transparency, authenticity, integrity, and humility. Maybe that's why I finish last at so many things?
Regardless, I feel better after listening to myself aloud instead of being constantly occupied internally and finding grumpiness.

The Message isn't about Hunting Oct 16, 2019

Show notes

I didn't intend to ramble on for 20 minutes about hunting. And I didn't completely. There are a few spots in here where I digress (or progress?) into a message. I jut didn't punctuate it or capstone it in a final thought stream.
Do what you do passionately; with intention and authenticity. Stay vigilante that you don't create narratives that foster and support your own bullshit. Do what you do with integrity and be absent at the table of other's judgment.

Self Examination on My Coarse Side of Leadership Oct 09, 2019

Show notes

During this past hunting trip I spent countless hours soul searching the harsher aspects of my leadership / personality style.
I know I'm not exactly easy to work for; for many reasons and although not necessarily at all times.
I struggle with communicating. Not communicating what to do or how to do it, but rather communicating the thought processes and bigger picture. Not communicating the decision analysis, considerations, and planning. I also struggle with "happy to glad" changes and "idea factories".
I default to decide and execute, which can get fussy for others because I'm not fussy about most things. I'm exacting. I'm standards based. But, whether french fries or tater tots I really don't care.
Mostly, this episode is a poorly articulated conversation on my arriving at digging deeper into delivering to a team what I would want delivered if I was on your team. I fall a little short of that.

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