Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption, Foster & Kinship Care

Latest Episodes:

Should You Disrupt Birth Order When Adopting or Fostering? - Weekend Wisdom Sep 03, 2023

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Q: We have 3 children by birth and want to adopt a child that really needs a home. Given our kids' ages, this will probably mean that we will disrupt the birth order of at least some of our kids. The agency we have talked with is definitely against this idea. Is this something that is harmful to kids?
Resources:

Disrupting Birth Order Resources
Suggest Books for Kids on Preparing Children for the Adoption of a Sibling

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

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Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.
Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Coming to Terms with Infertility Grief Before You Adopt or Foster Aug 30, 2023

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Are you thinking about stopping infertility treatment and trying to adopt or foster? Join us to talk with Carole LieberWilkins,a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who has specialized in reproductive medicine, adoption, and family-building options since 1986, and is the co-author of the book, Let’s Talk About Egg Donation. Carole serves on the Advisory Board of the US Donor Conceived Council, and is an active member of the American Society of Reproductive Medicine Mental Health Professional Group. She is also a mom through adoption and egg donation.
In this episode, we cover:

Adoptive parenting is the same as, and very different from, genetic parenting. Ways in which raising adopted children is different. Ways in which it is the same.
Fostering has some significant differences from genetic parenting, including adopting from foster care.
What are the losses of infertility?
How to know when you are ready to stop fertility treatments and move to adoption or fostering? What are the signs of readiness?
The myth of needing to do everything that you can to become pregnant before moving to adoption or third-party reproduction.
How have the advances in infertility medicine changed the landscape of moving to adoption or fostering?
Accepting Plan B without making the child feel like second best.
How to know when you are ready to foster or adopt from foster care.
How to grieve the loss of the biological child that you never had?
Tips for coping with the losses of infertility.
Coping with the unknowns of adoption or fostering and lack of control.
Adopting while staying in treatment.
Should you go back into infertility treatment after having adopted a child?
How to find a mental health professional that specializes in infertility.

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5 Tips to Prepare Children for the Adoption of a Sibling - Weekend Wisdom Aug 27, 2023

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Q: My wife and I plan to adopt a child under the age of 9 from foster care. We have just started taking the classes. My wife has a 9-year-old from a previous relationship, and we want to do everything we can to prepare him in advance for this adoption. Any help is appreciated.
Additional Resources:

Blending Children by Birth and Adoption
Suggested Books for Preparing Your Child for the Adoption of a Sibling
Free Course: The Impact of Fostering & Adopting on Kids Already in the Family

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Resource pages on all aspects of family building

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Problematic Sexual Behavior Aug 23, 2023

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Do you worry about what is normal in your child's sexual development? Join us to talk with Roy Van Tassell , a Licensed Professional Counselor in Oklahoma and Director of Trauma and Evidence-based Interventions for Centene Health. He co-chairs the National Child Traumatic Stress Networks’ subcommittee on children with problem sexual behaviors.
Warning: We will be using anatomically correct words and talking about sex, so if this offends you or triggers you, you may want to skip this podcast.

In this episode, we cover:

Typical Sexual Development / Play

What is typical sexual development in children as they age?
What type of sexual play is considered “normal?”
How should parents manage a child’s natural sexual development?

Problematic Sexual Behaviors

What are Problem Sexual Behaviors in Children?
What causes kids and youth to act in socially unacceptable or destructive sexual ways? What factors influence the development of these behaviors?
Child vulnerabilities
- Behavior problems
- Emotional difficulties
- Developmental delays
- Low impulse control
Family vulnerabilities
- Poor supervision
- Single caregiver
Modeling of coercion
- Harsh parenting practices
- Physical abuse
- Domestic violence
Modeling of sexuality
- Sexual abuse
- Modeling/exposure
- Nudity or poor family boundaries
How common are problematic sexual behaviors?
Suggestions for professionals and parents and how to respond to behaviors.
What should parents and caregivers do?
Rules for younger kids
How effective is therapy?
How to find a therapist?
- What training have they had in this area?
- Child development expertise (including sexual development)

Resources:

Taking Action booklets (two booklets) – for children with problematic sexual behaviors (age 12 and younger) and one for 13+
Resources at the National Center on Sexual Behavior of Youth – really good resources for caregivers and parents.
National Center for Exploited Children—for kids to understand safety—teaching them safety skills to protect their own body
Amaze.org—videos for children
National Child Traumatic Stress Network
- A.J.’s Story— A Book About Not OK Touches

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5 Tips for Getting the Social Worker's Attention - Weekend Wisdom Aug 20, 2023

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Q: I’ve applied to adopt a waiting child from foster care. We are open to all races, kids up to age 13, and sibling groups up to 3 kids. We applied and then heard nothing. We also applied through AdoptUSKids and also heard nothing. I know the social workers are busy, but this is getting to be ridiculous. How do I get their attention without making them angry at me?
Additional Resources:

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Introduction to Domestic Infant Adoption Aug 16, 2023

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Are you considering adopting a baby? Join us today to learn more. Our guests will be Karlee Wagner, a Program Supervisor for Infant Adoption and Birth Parent/Pregnancy Services at Children’s Home and LSS in Minnesota (CH/LSS); Erin Quick, the Founder and CEO of PairTree - the organization dedicated to helping families navigate private adoption in the healthiest way possible and mom of two through adoption; and Courtney Lott, the owner and founder of Faithful Adoption Consultants, a consulting service that seeks to walk adoptive families through the adoption process from beginning to end. She is a mom to eight children: six through adoption and two biologically.
In this episode, we cover:

How many domestic private infant adoptions happen in the US each year?
Average cost of adopting a baby in the US.
Average length of time prospective parents wait for an adoption match.
- Creating a Family article: Adoption in the US: How Many? How Much? How Long?
What is the domestic infant adoption process at your agency or organization?
How does the process differ when using an adoption attorney rather than an adoption agency?
How do domestic infant adoptions today differ from how many people think about adoptions?
What type of expectant mom considers adoption for their child?
How many adoptive parent profiles are usually shown to an expectant mom?
What do you see that expectant moms or couples look for when choosing adoptive parents?
Is it harder for single women to be selected by expectant moms or couples?
Is it harder for same-sex couples or singles to be selected by expectant moms or couples?
After an expectant mother or couple chooses an adoptive family, what is the next step?
What type of counseling is available for expectant parents both before and after the adoption is finalized?
What are the ways that different adoption agencies and attorneys handle birth parent expenses?
How early in the pregnancy do adoption agencies and adoption attorneys match expectant moms with adoptive families?
What does open adoption look like?
What percentage of domestic infant adoptions in the US are open?
What are some typical "special needs" that prospective adoptive parents may be faced with in matches? What situations are the hardest for adoptive parents to decide about?
How much information will adoptive parents have in deciding whether they should accept a match?
What factors influence the cost of adoption?
What factors influence how long families wait for an adoption match?
What’s your best advice if someone has applied to adopt an infant and is not getting selected by an expectant mom?
Failed Adoption Matches: How Common? How Costly? How to Survive

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How Can I Adopt a Baby? - Weekend Wisdom Aug 13, 2023

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There are several ways to adopt a baby in the US.

Adopt a newborn or young infant through private adoptions.
Adopt a baby in the US through the foster care system.

Additional resources on infant adoption:

Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

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Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Introduction to Prenatal Substance Exposure Aug 09, 2023

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Are you considering adopting or fostering? Or taking in a relative's child? Do you suspect or know that the birth mom used drugs or alcohol during pregnancy? Join us today to learn how these substances might impact the child and how you parent. Our guest is Dr. Lisa Prock, a Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrician, Director of the Developmental Medicine Center at Children’s Hospital, Boston, and Clinical Director of the Translational Neuroscience Center at Harvard Medical School and Children's Hospital Boston. She is an Assistant Professor of Pediatrics at Harvard Medical School.
In this episode, we cover:

Foster, adoptive, and kinship parents and caregivers often need to consider whether they are the right family to parent a child with prenatal alcohol and drug exposure.
The US government estimates that about 10% of children born in the US have been prenatally exposed to alcohol, drugs, or both. How common is prenatal substance exposure for foster and adoptive children, as well as those kids living with grandparents and other relatives?
Are there signs or symptoms with a child that may have been exposed to alcohol and drugs in utero, absent confirmation from the mother?
What is known about the amount or timing of alcohol or drug use and the impact on the baby or child?
Short-term and long-term impacts of the following substances:
- Alcohol-does it matter the type of alcohol?
- Methamphetamines
- Adderall, Concerta, Ritalin or other ADHD medication
- Opiates/opioids-prescription
- Opioids-illegal
- Heroin
- Fentanyl
- Methadone, Suboxone, Subutex, Buprenorphine
- Marijuana
- Ecstasy, inhalants
- Tobacco-smoking cigarettes or vaping
How common is dual exposure/polysubstance exposure—alcohol and drugs?
Do children who have been prenatally exposed to alcohol or drugs have a greater risk of abusing drugs in adolescence or adulthood?
How do you get a child diagnosed with prenatal substance exposure?
What should parents consider when trying to decide if they are the right family for a child with prenatal exposure?
Creating a Family’s Prenatal Substance Exposure Trainings for Parents, Daycare/Preschool Teachers, and Afterschool Staff.

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Practical Tips for Welcoming an Older Foster or Kinship Child or Youth - Weekend Wisdom Aug 06, 2023

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This is a perennial question that is often asked: Help, I have an older child moving in. How do I make them comfortable and make the transition as easy as possible for us all? We offer 3 tips to help you welcome a new young person into your home.

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Basic Baby Care Aug 02, 2023

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Are you expecting the placement of a newborn? Don't miss our conversation about the latest information on baby care with Kristen O’Dell, a board-certified Family Nurse Practitioner with almost two decades of working with over 10,000 newborns and their families in her hospital practice of Neonatology and Newborn Medicine.
In this episode, we cover:

Feeding
- The vast majority of adoptive parents will bottle-feed their baby. How to choose a formula.
- Is liquid or dry formula better for the baby?
- How to sterilize the dry formula?
- Do you need to sterilize bottles?
- What type of bottle is best?
- Does the bottle type differ if the baby is born premature or has Neonatal Abstinence Syndrome?
- Does the temperature of the formula matter?
- Can you make the bottles up once a day, or do you have to make it fresh for each feeding?
- When should you consider a specialized formula, and what options do you have?
- How often should a baby eat?
- Other feeding options: adoptive mother induce lactation to breastfeed; donated breast milk.
- How do you know if your baby is getting enough food?
- If your baby spits up a lot, when should you worry that they aren’t getting enough food?
- When to introduce solid food?
Sleep
- What is a typical wake/sleep pattern for a newborn?
- When should you expect your baby to sleep for 5-6 hours?
- Is the wake/sleep cycle affected by prematurity or Neonatal Abstinence Syndrome (NAS)?
- At what point can you start trying to get your baby to not wake up many times for a feeding at night?
- Will introducing solid food, even if watered down, help your baby sleep through the night?
- How can you establish healthy sleeping habits for your baby?
- When do most babies start sleeping through the night and what is “sleeping through the night”—how much sleep?
- Safe sleep practices: sleeping on the back, no pillows, blankets, bumpers, stuffed animals
- Sleep training
Poop
- How often should babies poop? What is normal?
- What does the typical healthy newborn baby poop look like?
- How do you know if there is a problem?
- How can you tell if your baby is constipated? And what should you do?
- What type of diaper is best?
- What type of baby wipes are best?
- How to treat diaper rash?
- How can you tell if your baby has a yeast diaper rash?
What is colic?
How do you treat colic?
What is the current thinking on circumcision?
Tips for new parents.

Free Resource Guide from New Mommy Guru
This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: