Coming Out Pod

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Episode 215: Tawni Sofia Acosta Sep 14, 2022

Show notes

We talk to one of our co-facilitators at the L.A. LGBT Center, Tawni Sofia Acosta! Tawni is sixty-two, and was born at a time when there was zero information on being transgender ("or if there was information, it was just the freak show information"). As a result, she had no language to explain what she was feeling; she only knew that if she expressed it to her family and friends, things would not go well. Tawni ended up suppressing her true identity so ferociously that she didn't even begin addressing it until she was in her fifties...at which point she had been in a hetero-presenting marriage for over twenty years. Tawni explains how her need to see herself as female kept intensifying until she finally had to face it head on, and shares what that meant for her marriage, her job, and more. She also describes how transitioning gave her a courage she'd never had before, and unexpectedly led her to her new career as a hypnotherapist!
(TW: discussion of suicidal ideation)
Follow Tawni on Instagram at @acostatawni, and on Twitter at @TawniSofia. You can also connect with her on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/TawniSofiaAcosta, on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/tsacosta, or schedule a discovery/strategy call with her at https://calendly.com/tawnisofia/strategy-call!
This episode is sponsored by Hinge's Not-so Frequently Asked Questions. Check them out at https://hinge.nfaq.co/!

Episode 214: Garrett Schlichte Sep 07, 2022

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We bask in the glow of the LUSCIOUSLY-MANED Garrett Schlichte (he/they)! When Nicole heard Garrett's essay "My Relationship Guru Is a 14-Year-Old Girl" on the Modern Love podcast, she knew we had to have him on to talk about "second adolescence," or as it is affectionately known in our community, "queer puberty." Garrett was in the fourth grade when he first got called "gay" by a classmate (because "people have eyes"), and was subsequently so afraid of being seen for who he was that he went through a bully phase in high school. He shares how being gay eventually grew to become his favorite thing about himself, and presents a beautiful argument as to why it is the responsibility of straight allies to *make* the world safe for us, rather than just fearing for our safety. Also, we take '90s rom-coms to TASK for their straight, cis, monogamy-exclusive transgressions!
Check out all of Garrett's work on his website, https://www.garrettschlichte.com/, and follow him on Twitter and Instagram at @gschlichte.
This episode is sponsored by Hinge's Not-so Frequently Asked Questions. Check them out at https://hinge.nfaq.co/!

Episode 213: Nicole Serrano Aug 31, 2022

Show notes

Uh oh! We have a new BFF in Nashville and it's singer/songwriter GODDESS, Nicole Serrano! Nicole (she/they) identifies as non-binary ("I feel like 'female-plus'"), and remembers having crushes on girls as early as preschool. Growing up in the Pentecostal Church, however, meant constant messaging that "gay people were going to Hell," so when it came to her burgeoning sexuality, Nicole says, "I knew what I knew, but it was never an option." Meanwhile, she was singing regularly in church and began writing her own music at fourteen, which led to her gaining a sizeable following in the Christian music scene. Nicole shares how the intense stress of repressing her true identity eventually landed her in the hospital, and walks us through the moment she came out as gay on Good Morning America (talk about a baptism by fire! (no pun intended!)). She also discusses finally writing the music she really wants to write, and we get the scoop on her upcoming album all about coming out!
Follow Nicole on Instagram at @nicoleserrano, and listen to her music on all of the usual music-listening platforms!
This episode is sponsored by Hinge's Not-so Frequently Asked Questions. Check them out at https://hinge.nfaq.co/!

Episode 212: Sofia Fey Aug 24, 2022

Show notes

In the grand tradition of Sappho, Audre Lorde, and probably Emily Dickinson (just sayin'), the pod finally hosts our first ever lesbian poet! Sofia Fey has always "just gravitated towards terms that felt right," and found reclaiming the word "lesbian" to be important to them. However, it wasn't until years later when they began identifying as non-binary and exclusively using they/them pronouns that they finally felt like they were being seen. In addition to being a non-binary lesbian, Sofia also identifies as demisexual, which gives us the opportunity to delve deeper into demisexuality than we ever have before (get ready for some in-real-time Googling!). All this, plus Sofia graces us with not one, but *two* live poetry readings! YOU WILL FEEL SO CULTURED AFTER THIS EPISODE!
Follow Sofia on Twitter and Instagram at @sofiafeycreates, and follow the Luminaries poetry workshop on Twitter at @luminouspoets. Most importantly, read Sofia's poetry and fiction (and find out about their live readings) at http://www.sofiafey.com/! And if you'd like to reach out to Sofia about any of their work, you can drop them a line at sofia@sofiafey.com.

Episode 211: George Azar Aug 17, 2022

Show notes

Raised in a traditional Middle Eastern family, author and podcaster George Azar ("My Gay Church Days") knew that he was attracted to men even before puberty hit. But when his older brother came out in middle school and was summarily put into therapy, George receded even further into the closet. He became a Young Republican in order to gain his father's approval, and was subsequently drawn to Christianity, which promised a "remedy" for his homosexuality. George excelled so much in the way of the Church that he became a pastor, all the while being told - and believing - that his queerness was a gateway to (you guessed it!) pedophilia and bestiality. His journey towards self-acceptance included seeing a "conversion therapy specialist," and eventually doing his own deep dive on what the Bible *actually* says about homosexuality. Despite everything he's been through, George is absolutely EFFERVESCENT, and he shares his story with an incredible amount of grace and humor!
Follow George everywhere at @mygaychurchdays, and check out https://www.mygaychurchdays.com/ for all the info on George's book, podcast, and more!

Episode 210: Lauren Ludwig's Mom! Aug 10, 2022

Show notes

It's a conversation that's been four years in the making! In her first appearance on the pod back in Episode 9, Lauren Ludwig (she/they) told us her coming out story, and detailed a number of parallels that it shared with her own mother's journey, which started back when Lauren was a child. Now, in a special guest co-host episode, Lauren and Lauren (double your Laurens, double your fun!) at long last sit down with Randi Ludwig, the woman who LITERALLY started it all! Randi was born in 1955, and genuinely never questioned her sexuality until she unexpectedly fell in love with a woman in the late '80s...at which point she was already happily married with two children. She describes the absolute *terror* she felt at this revelation, and how difficult it was to navigate a situation that had caught her completely off guard. We cover everything from internalized homophobia to feminist bookstores; plus, Randi shares how Lauren's poly coming out initially triggered a trauma response in her as a direct result of her own past struggles. It's an absolutely one of a kind mother-daughter-pansexual-poly EXTRAVAGANZA!
If you'd like to get in touch with Randi, feel free to reach out to her via Lauren at @ludwigmonster on Instagram!

We're Taking The Week Off! Aug 03, 2022

Show notes

Nicole is in Sweden, so we're taking the week off! But since Lauren is *not* in Sweden, she wanted to briefly hop on the mic to give some alternate listening suggestions, tease next week's very exciting episode, and share the single most lesbian thing she's ever done! Please enjoy all of her lip smacks and "um's" - she had to edit this minisode herself, and has absolutely no idea what she is doing!
Links to the other podcast episodes Lauren and Nicole have guested on...
The Bechdel Cast:
https://open.spotify.com/episode/0cSd7h2JpivuVjZiS1ZZsn?si=yweNSp66SPKTTf-gIdYpjw (Both of us!)
Dyking Out:
https://open.spotify.com/episode/32CAZqrYD2xffmTuCSd50j?si=ldPZdP6cQ0W4n0MYWcMaIQ (Lauren!)
https://open.spotify.com/episode/0mWNpot7QszA9JVdZg3nJ2 (Nicole!)
Lez Hang Out:
https://open.spotify.com/episode/1xYLVa9PaBfFAf6Gyd5ik1?si=S8G_eMJyRhencnxvKFmzQQ (Nicole!)
https://open.spotify.com/episode/7G8LO4KmMLL1com3v1ECyp?si=0APJ3v2qTnWHDHRV25LS-Q (Lauren!)
The DTALKS Podcast:
https://open.spotify.com/episode/3sFZsAApk7DLHtwVCLIHYE?si=tc0DG4JNQvyTx3Ho0DCIpA (Nicole!)
https://open.spotify.com/episode/48QIGnft1aWjfRHNYOaZXj?si=RuDHbJ6uQaWSYqJHW5GmnA (Also Nicole!)

Episode 209: Valentina D'Alessandro, REDUX! Jul 27, 2022

Show notes

When she was first on the podcast back in December of 2018, Valentina D'Alessandro had only been in the U.S. for three years, and had been married to her wife Cynthia for just under two. What we did *not* reveal during that episode was the fact that she and Cynthia had also spent the past year trying for a baby. At that point, they were still hopeful, despite a number of emotional, biological, and financial hurdles that they'd already encountered. But after five years of trying absolutely everything they could to conceive, they were forced to come to terms with the fact that it was not meant to be. Valentina shares all aspects of the emotional rollercoaster she's been on for half a decade, and how the grief of infertility led her and Cynthia down the path of fostering. This episode is a beautiful and candid look at what it means to become a family, and we are so grateful to Valentina for sharing such an intimate part of her life.
Check out the *fantastic* resource Valentina has created (plus adorable pictures) at @queerfosterfam on Instagram!

Episode 208: Shohreh Davoodi Jul 20, 2022

Show notes

Shohreh Davoodi (host of the Conjuring Up Courage podcast) has had a...tumultuous couple of years, to say the least. Raised in the strict, expectation-heavy Baháʼí Faith, Shohreh was always regarded as the "black sheep of the family." But the fact that she was naturally more feminine-presenting meant that her queerness didn't ping for anybody, including herself! Shohreh shares how her slowly-dawning awareness of her sexuality led her to the painful decision to end her marriage, but also guided her to her work as a self-trust coach for queer folks (in Shohreh's own words: "I help people come home to themselves"). We also talk about the importance of taking a break *before* your body forces you to, and Shohreh tells us the MOST lesbian first-date story we have ever heard!
Check out Shohreh's website at https://shohrehdavoodi.com/, follow her everywhere at @shohrehdavoodi, and listen to all 133 episodes of Conjuring Up Courage wherever you get your pods! Also, be the first to know when Shohreh's hiatus is over by signing up for her Queer Agenda newsletter at https://shohrehdavoodi.com/subscribe/!

Episode 207: J.P. Der Boghossian Jul 13, 2022

Show notes

We've got J.P. Der Boghossian (he/they), creator of the Queer Armenian Library and host of the brand new podcast, This Queer Book Saved My Life! J.P. grew up with messaging from his religious Armenian community that AIDS and hate crimes were "divine punishment" for being gay; as a result, he believed well into his twenties that he was going to die young. J.P. walks us through his unexpected brush with mortality, what it means to be a queer Armenian-American, and how he went from never being in a relationship longer than six weeks to becoming part of a polyamorous throuple that's celebrating their eleventh anniversary this year!
(TW: discussion of suicide attempt/ideation)
Follow J.P. on Twitter and Instagram at @jpderboghossian, and make sure you check out the Queer Armenian Library at https://queerarmenianlibrary.com/ (@readtheQAL on Twitter and Insta)! Also, listen to This Queer Book Saved My Life! at https://thisqueerbook.com/ or wherever you get your pods, and follow them on everywhere at @thisqueerbook!

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