Coming Out Pod

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Episode 225: Eden Robinson Nov 23, 2022

Show notes

Eden Robinson's story has a little bit of everything: A dad who was both a rabbi *and* a pastor! Marlee Matlin as a gateway drug to The L Word! Kate McKinnon as the final nail in the coffin for compulsory heterosexuality! Eden shares how, despite an upbringing where she was praised for questioning everything, she nevertheless was too frightened to truly interrogate her own sexuality until she was much older. Plus, the confusing difficulty of finding femme lesbian representation IRL, and the choice to have a "low contact" relationship with a challenging parent.
We also open this episode with a conversation about the recent tragedy that took place at Club Q in Colorado Springs. Rest in peace Daniel Davis Aston, Kelly Loving, Ashley Paugh, Derrick Rump, and Raymond Green Vance. May their memory be a blessing.
Check out all things Eden at https://www.fangirlfit.com/, and follow her on Instagram at both @fangirlfit and @writing.eden.

Episode 224: Rainbow Wave! Nov 16, 2022

Show notes

Last week, America held its midterm elections, and many of us were nervously anticipating a so-called "red wave." What ended up happening, however, was a red...and orange...*and* yellow...*AND*--okay; we're just gonna cut to the chase: IT WAS A RAINBOW WAVE!!! Lauren and Nicole take a week off from coming out stories to discuss the historic wins queer candidates had in this pivotal, record-breaking election, and what it means for the country. Nicole gives a quick-and-dirty civics lesson! Lauren learns that AOC is not, in fact, a senator! We also announce our fourth annual Listener Mailbag episode, and much more! God Bless America, kinda!
HELP RAPHAEL WARNOCK WIN THE GEORGIA RUNOFF! Tons of things you can do here, regardless of where you live: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1xOm2N3kde8A617xdGt_mkR5cR5aTslFXyqxNBZby9v4/edit?usp=sharing. And don't forget to get your questions in for next month's listener mailbag! *And* check out https://www.comingoutpod.com/media for the free trans Zoom groups Lauren mentioned, as well as a bunch of other resources! *AND* find one-of-a-kind holiday gifts for all the queers in your life at https://www.beyondclexa.com/!

Episode 223: Tricia Friedman Nov 09, 2022

Show notes

We have officially set a new record with this week's guest Tricia Friedman, who has lived in a whopping *eight* countries as a result of her longtime work as an educator! And as if that weren't exciting enough, Tricia also gifts us with our first coming out story to ever involve being mistaken for a spy by Russian authorities WHO IS THIS WOMAN OF MYSTERY AND INTRIGUE?! From humble beginnings in New Jersey, Tricia details how her initial move to China gave her the continents-wide space she felt she needed to finally feel comfortable living as a "super-charged lesbian." She also explains how meeting her wife during her travels and constantly moving together as a queer couple provided a unique window into what it's like to be out in a multitude of different countries ("I feel like my coming outs are kind of in the hundreds"). All this, plus Nicole finally lets our listeners in on her *day job*...
Follow Tricia on Twitter at @tricia_fried, and check out learning organizations https://allyed.org/ and https://www.shiftingschools.com/! Also, listen to Be a Better Ally, Shifting Schools, and Unhinged Collaboration wherever you get your podcasts, and hit Tricia up if you'd like to be a guest on Be a Better Ally (Lauren guested on Episode 98!).

Episode 222: Karen Frost Nov 02, 2022

Show notes

We have a rapid-fire discussion about one of our all-time favorite topics: queer female representation in media! Karen Frost describes herself as a "professional lesbian dabbler," but that majorly downplays the WEALTH of knowledge she has as a result of ceaselessly mining the data for queer TV shows, films, and web series! We discuss how (and why) projects like Nicole's As Love Goes face increasing difficulty when it comes to funding, and why outlets like Autostraddle are having trouble staying afloat. We also address the anger in our community over how many queer female-fronted shows have been cancelled recently (spoiler alert: direct your rage more towards sexism than homophobia...). Plus, we wax nostalgic (or rather, *non*-nostalgic) about how there used to be so few queer female characters on TV that you LITERALLY knew all of them, and Karen shares how Xena: Warrior Princess kickstarted her entire career path!
Follow Karen at @Lez_Dish on both Twitter and Instagram, and listen to Peaches Aren't the Only Fruit and GossipINT wherever you get your podcasts. Also, check out https://www.karenfrostbooks.com/ for info on all of Karen's books!

Episode 221: Val Hill Oct 26, 2022

Show notes

It's Intersex Awareness Day, and we are thrilled and honored to at long last have on our first ever out intersex guest, the brilliant Val Hill! Val (they/she) is a queer intersex community advocate who facilitates the group Club Intersex for the L.A. LGBT Center, so you would never in a million years guess that, pre-pandemic, she didn't even *know* the umbrella term "intersex!" Val shares how a routine sports physical at the age of fifteen led to them learning that they have complete androgen insensitivity syndrome (CAIS), something they thought was a random genetic occurrence specific to their family. It wasn't until decades later during lockdown that Val finally discovered the robust intersex community that exists online, and fully embraced the beautiful "liminal space" that intersex folks inhabit. We learned a ton in this episode, and we're so grateful to Val for having this truly expansive conversation with us!
Follow Val on Instagram at @lookwhatvalposted, and check out the L.A. LGBT Center's Club Intersex group at @clubintersex! Also mentioned in this episode...
Intersex activist Tatenda Ngwaru's GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/safety-and-wellbeing-for-tatenda-ngwaru
Additional intersex folks and orgs to follow on Instagram: @intersexjusticeproject / @interconnect_support / @saifaemerges / @pidgeon / @xoxy_alicia / @red.moonproject
The Intersex Awareness Day 2022 Insta Live that Val did with Jahni Laggett (@queen_jahni_) is posted on Club Intersex's Insta at https://www.instagram.com/p/CkMp3Yap65Z/

Episode 220: Jessi Hempel Oct 19, 2022

Show notes

At the age of nineteen, journalist and author Jessi Hempel came out. Tale as old as time, right? But far less traveled territory is what proceeded to happen over the next several years: four out of five members of Jessi's immediate family - including her father - *ALSO* came out! Two decades later, in the midst of lockdown-induced isolation, Jessi, her parents, and her two younger siblings somewhat unexpectedly began turning to each other for support, despite their tumultuous family history. Equally unexpectedly, Jessi found herself wanting to revisit the deeply-vulnerable five-year period during which every single one of them (including Jessi's mother, in a different way) came out of the closets they had been trapped in. The end result is the newly-released, Glennon Doyle-endorsed memoir "The Family Outing," and we were absolutely thrilled to get to talk to Jessi all about it! Plus, we get into identity politics, and the *particular* way we all judge our parents' relationships...
Look for "The Family Outing" wherever books are sold! You can also connect with Jessi on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessihempel/, and check out her award-winning podcast, Hello Monday with Jessi Hempel.

Episode 219: Janet Varney Oct 11, 2022

Show notes

Surprise! We're dropping this week's episode a day early because IT'S NATIONAL COMING OUT DAY, Y'ALL! And we're celebrating in a big way with none other than actor Janet Varney, who voices bicon Korra on The Legend of Korra! Janet was never "in" the closet ("The first kisses I ever had were with girls, and that never stopped"), so she found it confusing when the internet informed her that she had "come out." She discusses the eye-opening experience she had doing a comic-con in a not-so-queer-friendly part of the country, and shares how she put all the *complicated female friendship angst* of her youth into the lesbian character she played on Burning Love. We also delve into the maddening stereotypes that bisexual women have to deal with while dating (Women are afraid you'll leave them for a man! Men are afraid you'll cheat because you MISS BOOBS!), and Janet spills the details of her *extremely* relatable Jodie Foster obsession...
Follow Janet on Twitter at @janetvarney and on Instagram at @thejvclub, and listen to The JV Club wherever you get your pods!

Episode 218: Doug Plaut Oct 05, 2022

Show notes

Actor, writer, and longtime friend of Nicole's, Doug Plaut (Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt; Hurricane Bianca: From Russia with Hate), had what can only be described as a roughhhhh childhood. When Doug (they/he) began exhibiting non-heteronormative traits at an early age ("I was a four-year-old who loved Barbara Streisand"), his parents sought out medical intervention. By late high school, Doug had seen eleven psychiatrists, and been on a whopping *seventeen* different medications. Doug recounts his struggles with exercise bulimia, his hilarious/enviable desire to identify most as "a strange person who, like, lives in the woods," and the incredible 180 his father did in recent years. Also, his beautiful friendship with Charles Busch, and the life-changing production of The Sound of Music in which he and Nicole played von Trapp siblings!
Follow Doug on Instagram at @dougplautperson and on Twitter at @DougPlaut.

Episode 217: Kyrsta Morehouse Sep 28, 2022

Show notes

We're closing out Bi Visibility Month with makeup artist, photographer, and Leif Pacent-Lindquist's "Number One" Babysitter, Kyrsta Morehouse! Kyrsta grew up in a small, conservative town in Northern California and was raised in a "very Christian" home. However, when she became aware of her attraction to women, it wasn't being a lesbian that Kyrsta was afraid of, but rather "living in that weird liminal space." In fact, Kyrsta found herself praying to God to just make her straight *or* gay. Kyrsta discusses moving to L.A. all alone at eighteen, why "bi" resonates with her more strongly than "pan" (even though they're equally accurate labels for her), and how finding the pod during quarantine led Kyrsta to the L.A. LGBT Center's Biosphere group, which in turn led her to her partner!
Follow Kyrsta on Instagram at @kyrstashae, and follow her AMAZING makeup artist account at @kyrstamua!

Episode 216: Ash Holzer, REDUX! Sep 21, 2022

Show notes

Episode 33 guest Ash Holzer returns for an episode we've really been looking forward to, because WOW have things changed in her life since she was first on the pod! When we spoke to Ash (formerly "Ashley") in January of 2019, she had recently been part of the L.A. LGBT Center's Women's Coming Out group; she and her husband were living on different sides of the same house while co-parenting their three children, and legal separation papers had been filed. Fast forward to today: Ash and her husband are still cohabitating...but in a very different manner. Ash discusses the whirlwind relationship she had with a woman shortly after our initial recording ("it was really great until it wasn't"), how she unexpectedly fell back in love with her partner during the pandemic, and how she's navigated the fear that doing so would somehow erase all her growth over the past three-and-a-half years. Above all, Ash details how she's learned to follow her heart while also using her head, and the delicate balance of "trying not to let one get ahead of the other."
Follow Ash on Instagram at @asholza!
This episode is sponsored by Hinge's Not-so Frequently Asked Questions. Check them out at https://hinge.nfaq.co/!

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