Coming Out Pod

Latest Episodes:

Episode 196: The Ace Couple Apr 27, 2022

Show notes

We've had a number of asexual-identified guests on the podcast, but for the first time ever, we are thrilled to be speaking to an asexual couple! Courtney and Royce (who go by "The Ace Couple" online) are about to celebrate eight years of marriage. They share how they each came to understand their asexuality prior to meeting, and regale us with their UNFATHOMABLY cinematic love story! We also answer listener questions concerning the ace spectrum, and Courtney and Royce describe what intimacy - which is *not* synonymous with sex! - looks like for them. Plus, we dig into attraction vs. action, asexuality vs. no/low libido, graysexuality, and much more! It's a fascinating episode that speaks to *all* manner of relationships!
There are so many ways to keep up with Courtney and Royce online! Check out www.theacecouple.com for their podcast (including transcripts and closed captioned eps on YouTube!), and follow them on Twitter at @The_Ace_Couple. If you're part of the a-spec community and would like to participate in their "A-specs Committed to Anti-Racism" discord channel and/or Zoom book club, you can hear all of the details and get the links in the April 6th episode of their podcast (entitled "New Community Project Announcement! A-specs Committed to Anti-Racism"). Lastly, you can check out the interviews that Courtney conducted with disabled members of the a-spec community at https://aceweek.org/stories/why-i-m-founding-disabled-ace-day. And make sure you follow The Ace Couple on Twitter to find out how they'll be celebrating Disabled Ace Day in October of this year!

Episode 195: Ben Siemon Apr 20, 2022

Show notes

Ben Siemon is an animation writer at Disney, and he loves his job. But when the infamous "Don't Say Gay" bill was on its way to becoming law in Florida and Disney didn't come out against it (AND was revealed to have donated to the politicians behind it), Ben got upset. So upset, in fact, that one day last month he made a video explaining why Disney's silence was dangerous in general, and hurtful to the company's LGBTQ employees specifically. Ben's video ended up going viral, prompting other Disney writers and actors to speak up as well. Within several days, Disney's CEO had issued a statement. Ben helps us wade through Disney's complicated history with the queer community, and provides some insight as to what we can do when a company we love is causing harm. Plus, he tells us how his own coming out collided with a NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCE!
Follow and help amplify Ben on Twitter at @BenjaminJS, and watch his *hilarious* Barbie doll brunch videos at @brunchtheseries on TikTok!

Episode 194: Nicky Endres Apr 13, 2022

Show notes

Nicky Endres (they/she; Hulu's The Dropout) contains so many intersecting identities that they've come up with a comprehensive way to introduce themself: "I am an adopted, Asian-American, non-binary, transfeminine, queer actor, comic, voice artist, and audiobook narrator." How's THAT for a mic drop?? Growing up with white parents in a small town in Wisconsin, Nicky was aware of the ways in which their identity didn't fit the mold, and actually embraced this from the word go. In an extremely thought-provoking conversation, we discuss the expansiveness of the umbrella term "trans," and the inherent power that comes from abandoning the illusion of certainty and simply admitting "I don't know." Also, Nicky blesses us with the A+ phrase "a Schrödinger's cat of gender" -- PUT IT ON A T-SHIRT!
Find all things Nicky at www.nickyendres.com, and follow them everywhere at @mxnickye.

Episode 193: Yasmin Benoit Apr 06, 2022

Show notes

It's International Asexuality Day, and we're absolutely thrilled to have on activist, model, and writer, Yasmin Benoit! Throughout school, Yasmin was constantly singled out by the other girls for not being Team Edward *or* Team Jacob (it was 2009, y'all). When she learned about asexuality online, Yasmin immediately identified with it, but when she tried to come out, she found herself consistently met with the ever-popular "but you don't *look* asexual." Yasmin shares the factors (including race) that led her to create #ThisIsWhatAsexualLooksLike, and explains how she eventually felt it was also necessary for her to come out as aromantic. Plus, Yasmin tells us all about how she collaborated with Stonewall UK to create the UK's first ever asexual rights project, which launches TODAY!
Follow Yasmin on Twitter and Instagram at @theyasminbenoit, and check out her writing and her INCREDIBLE modeling shots at https://www.yasminbenoit.co.uk/! And to learn all about the Stonewall x Yasmin Benoit Ace Project, go to https://www.stonewall.org.uk/stonewall-x-yasmin-benoit-ace-project!

Episode 192: Koren Porras Mar 30, 2022

Show notes

Nicole met the gorgeous-inside-and-out Koren Porras (he/they) in a dance class, and the two of them immediately bonded over being bisexual (and "very woo woo"). Koren grew up in the "deep, deep south" of New Orleans and Texas, and found himself othered more for his North African/Native American heritage than for his burgeoning sexuality/non-binary identity. He explains how not fitting into any particular box actually spared him from bullying, and shares how a traumatic loss he experienced at twenty-two prompted him to stop "flying under the radar," and live fully as his true self. We also fangirl over Koren's '90s DiCaprio hair, and discuss the horny music videos that were part of our queer awakenings!
Follow/message Koren on Instagram at @koren.siren!

Episode 191: BJ Colangelo Mar 23, 2022

Show notes

We have a *delightful* time with writer, film analyst, and green-haired swamp queen GODDESS, BJ Colangelo! BJ breaks down the ways in which queerness and the horror genre are intrinsically linked, and details the incredible impact that Chris Sarandon - NOT Susan! - has had on her understanding of attraction. She also shares her experiences as a cis woman married to a trans woman, and discusses reclaiming the word "lesbian" from bad faith actors. Plus, BJ tells us a story SO MIND-BLOWING, we can't even tease it!!!
Follow BJ on TikTok (queer sh*t), Twitter (angry queer sh*t and film stuff), and Instagram (very dumb photos) at @bjcolangelo. And check out This Ends At Prom (@thisendsatprom on Twitter and Instagram) wherever you get your pods!

Episode 190: Kelly Whelan & Ukraine Mar 16, 2022

Show notes

Kelly Whelan is a human trafficking researcher for the UN *and* a former professional ice hockey player who has lived all over the globe! But it was Ukraine specifically that captured her heart; partly because the country and its people figure so prominently into her own coming out story. In fact, Kelly's gradual embracing of her own queerness seemed to run parallel to similar strides Ukraine itself has made in recent years. Now, though, with Russia's invasion, LGBTQ Ukrainians - people whom Kelly knows and loves - are in danger. Kelly not only shares her own story, but lays out simply and clearly what is happening in Ukraine right now, and what it specifically means for the country's queer population. She also provides insight about what we can do beyond donating to help Ukrainian refugees in general, and queer Ukrainian refugees in particular. Слава Україні - Glory to Ukraine!
Follow Kelly on Instagram and Twitter at @kellythenomad, and check out the ice hockey organization she founded in Ukraine at forwomenshockeyinukraine.org! And now...a whole bunch of ways you can help:
- Nash Mir (gay.org.ua/en/): One of the most prominent LGBTQ activist organizations in Ukraine. They work to educate Ukrainian society about LGBTQ issues, combat stereotypes, and advocate for change.
- ILGA-Europe (ilga-europe.org/support-lgbti-people-ukraine): An umbrella organization that has compiled a list of ways to donate and support directly to assist LGBTQ Ukrainians.
- The LGBT Asylum Project (lgbtasylumproject.org) and the Transgender Law Center (transgenderlawcenter.org): Both of these orgs provide legal assistance to LGBTQ asylum seekers in the U.S. Contact them for potential ways to host/help.
- RUSA LGBT (rusalgbt.com): Mentioned in the episode, an organization of Russian and Russian-speaking queer people living in the United States.
- Secure Brittney Griner's Swift and Safe Return to the U.S. (chng.it/2HHVJbczK8): Sign and share the online petition created by journalist Tamryn Spruill.

Episode 189: Joe Shaw Mar 09, 2022

Show notes

We sit down with our first ever Bi+ identified guest, the warm and wonderful Joe Shaw! Joe grew up in a very religious family in Texas (dad was a pastor; Church was part of the Southern Baptist convention; you get it), and got married at twenty-one. He and his wife went on to have two children, but it wasn't until his youngest - a son - was born that Joe realized he had never dealt with his own personal struggles. What followed was a beautiful coming out journey that his wife Amanda not only supported, but actively encouraged! Joe details the coming out/birthday/Pride Month photo shoot they did, and we discuss how toxic monogamy does a huge disservice to bisexual people. Also, the emotional benefits of maintaining your own Bi-cons list!
Follow Joe (and reach out to him to get the "cheat codes") at @joeshaw05 on Instagram and @DtalksJoe on Twitter. And don't forget to check out The DTALKS Podcast (@dtalkspodcast everywhere) and After the Encore (@aftertheencorepodcast on Instagram and @ATEncorePodcast on Twitter)!

Episode 188: Kathy Mar 02, 2022

Show notes

Kathy grew up in an Evangelical family in Texas, where gay people were described with words like "abomination" and "contagious." For decades, she walked the path she was expected to: getting married, having children, and unconsciously training herself to just "Christian harder" whenever "the gay would start to come up." It wasn't until last year at the age of fifty that Kathy finally realized she was a lesbian, but, WOW, has she embraced it! She talks about all of the incredible resources she's created for other women coming out later in life, and tells us the best multi-generational coming out story we've EVER heard! Not only that: as someone who is on the ground in Texas, Kathy provides up-close information on the impact of Governor Abbott's hideous anti-trans directive, and lets us know what we can do to help trans kids and their families.
Follow Kathy on Instagram at @betterlatethanstraight, and go to https://www.betterlatethanstraight.com/ to check out her blog, sign up for her newsletter, and take advantage of the fantastic resources she's compiled!
To help with the situation in Texas, Kathy recommends: https://www.tpride.org/index.php (letter writing campaign), https://www.txtranskids.org/ (list of different trans organizations in Texas), and https://www.outyouth.org/support-for-families (resources and support for Texas trans families, including legal support).
To donate directly to the Armed Forces of Ukraine, Nicole recommends: https://bank.gov.ua/en/about/support-the-armed-forces

Episode 187: Lauren Ludwig, REDUX! Feb 23, 2022

Show notes

BOY OH BOY, ARE WE EXCITED FOR THIS EPISODE! We're reunited with Episode 9 guest Lauren Ludwig (she/they), who has had some major life-developments since we last spoke! For one thing, they now "identify more aggressively as gender non-binary," but an even bigger development is that Lauren and their husband have opened up their marriage, and are now poly [that sound you just heard was Nicole SQUEALING WITH GLEE]! Lauren and Nicole bond over how similar their poly journeys have been (right down to being side-eyed as the "instigator" by certain friends and family), and discuss how the poly community needs monogamous allies, *not* "saviors." Plus, Lauren fills us in on their FANTASTICALLY-QUEER Netflix short "Heart Shot," which was written by them and directed by their girlfriend!
Follow Lauren on Instagram at @ludwigmonster, and absolutely, positively check out "Heart Shot" on Netflix (www.netflix.com/title/81343173, or just search "Heart Shot")!

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