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My Grandpa Detective (2016) TEASER Jan 07, 2024

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Can you forgive the grandpa who hurt you the most? We've covered the work of Canadian filmmakers Greg and Dallas Lammiman before in our episodes on their films MAYFLOWER II and REMEMBER, but this week we see the brothers' more wholesome and comedic side, as opposed to the CGI-forward dystopian DIY sci-fi we associate as their signature style. MY GRANDPA DETECTIVE is a comedy about a young police officer whose nightmares come true when he's partnered with his own grandpa, who due to a clerical error must return to the force for six more days at age 85 in order to collect his pension. Along the way, they solve the crimes of the "Hamburgler Burgler" who has a passion for stealing unimportant items from restaurants and convenience stores, and learn a lesson or two about the biblical concept of forgiveness from their Christian secretary named Sassy. When the two related detectives are reunited with a long lost family member on a dark path, their relationship is put to the test — but very confusing scriptwriting prevents MY GRANDPA DETECTIVE from fully realizing its family-friendly fable.

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Autopsy (1975) feat. Jim Branscome of Cinematic Void Dec 31, 2023

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When a wave of unexplained murders and suicides hits your town, and you begin seeing demented visions of corpses coming to life to torment you, who else would you turn to but a priest? AUTOPSY is a lurid, intense, and captivating thriller about a beautiful young scientist who teams up with a race car driver turned Catholic priest to find the truth behind a series of killings that may not be as random as they first seem. Director Armando Crispino enlists prolific actors Mimsy Farmer, Barry Primus, and Ray Lovelock to act out a bizarre web of passion and intrigue in a tone that lovers of sleazy Italian films of the 1970s would immediately recognize as typical to the "giallo" genre. But what is this… "giallo"? You may ask, since most Boys' Bible Study listeners prefer to keep their innocence intact by watching a strict diet of faith-based films. This week, the Bible Boys ("I Ragazzi della Bibbia") get an education in the giallo genre from our friend Jim Branscome of Cinematic Void, who has just kicked off his annual "January Giallo" screening series in Los Angeles and several other participating theaters across the United States. Giallo is just one of the many film genres on which Jim is an expert, and he's risen to prominence as a key player in the Los Angeles film scene through his diligent work curating film events and starting conversations on the medium through his popular Cinematic Void podcast. We're so excited to finally have Jim on our show to discuss a giallo with vaguely Christian themes, even though we don't understand why God allows Jim to pervert a new generation of film-goers with such filth.

Visit the Cinematic Void website for links to all of the January Giallo 2024 screenings nationwide: https://www.cinematicvoid.com

(Los Angeles, CA; San Diego, CA; Santa Ana, CA; Chicago, IL; Rochester, NY; Salem, MA; Brookline, MA; Denver, CO; Nashville, TN)

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Jingle Smells (2023) Dec 24, 2023

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The latest in anti-woke cinema is the Christmas comedy JINGLE SMELLS by director Daniel Lusko. This holiday tale of an Iraq war veteran turned garbageman turned "Robin Hood" stars a pantheon of Christian and conservative media personalities including John Schneider (recently in the news for nearly winning The Masked Singer and then vaguely threatening President Joe Biden on social media), the prolific legend Eric Roberts, SNL alumni Victoria Jackson and Jim Breuer, Trump-affiliated lawyer Jay Sekulow, Fox News powerhouse Sean Hannity, and newcomer Ben Davies. When handsome yet unmotivated veteran Nick Gutman (Ben Davies) gets a humble waste management job using his cop father's (John Schneider) connections, he accidentally thwarts an evil toy company CEO's (Eric Roberts) plan to cancel a once-great action movie actor by throwing away all of the action figures made in the actor's likeness. Nick Gutman is dubbed "Jingle Smells" by his local media for redistributing the tossed toys to poor kids in the neighborhood — however, in our opinion, JINGLE SMELLS ultimately fails in its mission to create a new Christmas legend by tipping the sacred cows of liberalism. Its comedy is too niche and internet-poisoned to make a splash outside of its small yet well-connected conservative scene. It's a "big trash, small dumpster" situation.

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A Bell Family Christmas (2022) TEASER Dec 17, 2023

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Merry Christmas from our new favorite family, the Bells! Earlier this year, we became enamored with the UNEQUALLY YOKED series of films, directed by Tijideen Rowley with writing collaboration from Jeannie Preston and Brittany Cherelle Preston. Both are shot in the Indianapolis area and center on a fictional black church community struggling with the everyday problems that could be relatable to any Christians. Several of these characters are the Bells, a loving and caring family with high achieving kids; eldest sister Harmony is a successful lawyer (or so she claims), Derrick is a Harvard student, Cedric used to be a nerd in previous films but he's been recast as a bodybuilder for some reason, and Shelly is an academically precocious teen. This Christmas, however, all may not be what it seems. Harmony has returned from California to visit her folks, harboring the secret that she quit her job as a lawyer and is now stripping at a club to make ends meet. Throw in some other chaos agents, such as the drunk Auntie Jackie who is determined to spoil the Bells' perfect Christmas, and we can start to see how even the most perfect-seeming family can break down and forget the reason for the season. A BELL FAMILY CHRISTMAS is genuinely one of the most "normal", wholesome and competent of the Christian films we've ever watched for this podcast. It's not super dogmatic or judgemental; it acknowledges even the Bells can be sinners, and how can we be better than the Bells, the greatest family of all time?

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Kirk Cameron's Saving Christmas (2014) Dec 10, 2023

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Just when we thought Advent was ruined, "Captain Save a Christmas" himself, former child star and current Christian cinema kingpin Kirk Cameron is back with another banger. KIRK CAMERON'S SAVING CHRISTMAS is just one of a series of docudramas Kirk Cameron helmed in the 2010s. Our favorite is his masterpiece KIRK CAMERON'S CONNECT, a bizarre piece that combines interviews and dramatizations to explore how dangerous the Internet can be to a Christian family. KIRK CAMERON'S SAVING CHRISTMAS, which was directed and co-written by accomplished music video director Darren Doane, follows a similar formula in its attempt to keep the Christmas spirit alive. We've seen a lot of Christian media arguing that the spirit of Christmas needs aggro maintanence, but this film contains a bizarre point of view that sets it apart from the others. Basically, KIRK CAMERON'S SAVING CHRISTMAS tries to prove that all of the popular American secular Christmas traditions, from Santa to gift shopping, contain profound religious symbolism and should be observed seriously. Other Christian movies ask, "Whose birthdays is it anyway? Santa's or Jesus's?" whereas KIRK CAMERON'S SAVING CHRISTMAS reminds us that Santa is a perfect analogue to Jesus and should be supported wholeheartedly. Also, presents represent the New Jerusalem and the Christmas tree represents the Garden of Eden. We thank Kirk Cameron for reminding us that Santa Claus is truly the reason for the season.

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Doreen Virtue Debunks "The Secret" TEASER Dec 03, 2023

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Doreen Virtue is a fascinating Christian influencer considering she initially rose to cultural prominence as a popular New Age author, publishing over 50 books from the 1990s-2010s. Her work had a spiritual focus on angels, however from a non-denominational New Age perspective; "angel numbers", direct contact with "personal angels", and drawing upon angelic energies to heal are recurring concepts in Virtue's oeuvre. Her life trajectory changed in 2017, when something amazing happened: Virtue saw God's light and was baptized into the Episcopal Church, effectively leaving behind the entire body of work that made her famous enough for national TV appearances on shows like Oprah. But was this revelation a career killer? Not at all! The enterprising businesswoman that she is, Doreen Virtue managed to turn this abrupt spiritual pivot into a successful youtube channel, continued forays into publishing (this time on Christian concepts), and even an extremely entertaining meme page. We at Boys' Bible Study have been wanting to cover Virtue's work for a while; we finally decided it would be most interesting to hear her takes on the New Age economy that got her paid in the first place. In a Sept. 2023 youtube upload, Virtue and Christian author/influencer Jon Clash filmed their conversation about the lies behind the doctrine of "The Secret" or "The Law of Attraction", the popular New Age concept that our thoughts become actions and can change the universe. Being fascinated ourselves with the bizarre personalities profiled in THE SECRET (2006) documentary, we thought it would be fascinating to hear the once-reigning queen of New Age spill the tea on all her former scene cohorts. In this bonus episode, we use Doreen Virtue's spiritual expertise to give us new ammo to take down the dreaded "Secret", and we ponder whether Virtue's pivot to Christianity was a sincere plot twist or an extremely well thought-out, cynical cash grab. Either way, we (the Christian content consumers) are the real winners.

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The Prosecutor (1983) Nov 26, 2023

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In this Christian courtroom drama, Jesus is found GUILTY… of being resurrected from the dead so that we may have eternal life. Bakersfield, California based auteur Barry Zoeller clearly called upon his skills as a TV news anchor and producer to create this competent and well-paced retelling of Bible times events in the modern day. At the moment THE PROSECUTOR appears to be Mr. Zoeller's only feature still available online, digitally distributed by Great American Pure Flix (formerly Pure Flix). We are very intrigued by his 1990 short film TEMPTATION CONTROL CENTER, about an NSA-style surveillance team within a teenager's head who monitors temptation, but at the moment we cannot find this film available to view online. THE PROSECUTOR however had a VHS release in the 80s and stars a very competent cast who enact a court case that supposes Jesus was crucified and resurrected in modern day and the state was attempting to quash His growing reputation by declaring Christian thought to be functionally illegal. A series of witnesses including scientists, military personnel, and Jesus's disciples are brought on the stand to be grilled by the conniving attorney general and then questioned by the story's hero, Michael Lindsey, a young Christian attorney who risks ruining his reputation to defend Jesus's impossible story in the trial of the century. An onscreen title at the end of the film asks us, the audience, to be the jury in this trial; we at Boys' Bible Study can only conclude beyond a reasonable doubt that Jesus is alive!

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An Old Fashioned Thanksgiving (2008) TEASER Nov 19, 2023

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Let us travel back in time to a golden age of Thanksgiving, when women wore bonnets, stuffing was king, and there wasn't a single iPhone in sight. This is the era of AN OLD FASHIONED THANKSGIVING, based on a short story of the same name by Louisa May Alcott, the author of LITTLE WOMEN. We meet the women of the Bassett family — Tilly (Tatiana Maslany, of ORPHAN BLACK and SHE-HULK: ATTORNEY AT LAW) is a teenage aspiring writer who lives in a tiny farmhouse shack with her mother Mary (Hélène Joy) and siblings. The poverty-stricken family is in danger of having to skip Thanksgiving this year, unless Tilly can get in contact with her randomly extremely rich grandmother Isabella, who Mary has kept secret from Tilly due to a mother/daughter dispute that permanently affected their relationship. It's good story fodder for a Hallmark movie, which we expect to be 90 minutes long, to feature ladies in beautiful period dresses, and to resolve in a happy ending. AN OLD FASHIONED THANKSGIVING was actually an extremely popular TV movie when it premiered, reaching 5.2 million viewers. Spoiler alert: not only does Tilly mend the family relationship and uplift the entire Bassett clan back into aristocracy where they belong, she also marries a handsome young rich boy. AN OLD FASHIONED THANKSGIVING teaches us that you can overcome any of life's problems, and have all the turkey and mashed potatoes you want, provided you randomly have an extravagant social safety net that makes your poverty larp all worth it in the end.

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The Defense of New Haven (2016) Nov 12, 2023

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This Christian film with a steampunk aesthetic is notable for its cast made up entirely of kids. Joel and Lisa Steege and their seven children create films as Little Crew Studios. Their most recent work is 2016's THE DEFENSE OF NEW HAVEN, an adventure story set in a fictional society where masked Raiders are sowing chaos and disappearing innocent civilians. When protagonist Alec is caught in the crossfire and his younger sister goes missing, he insists on joining the CDF (City Defense Force), even though his disability makes him an unlikely fighter. Intrigue and adventure follow Alec and his new colleagues, including journeys through hidden underground tunnels and nautical battles on mini steamboats. Something genuinely impressive about the Steeges' productions is that they construct their entire sets on their property. Parents and kids work together to create elaborate cityscapes and real bodies of water big enough to film boat scenes. Joel and Lisa Steege are so dedicated to their productions that Joel quit his job to pursue the family film business full time. The Steege children rise to the level of the production with their acting ability; they must be extremely smart and well spoken to be able to deliver such complicated lines. However, listening to kids dispense nonstop steampunk lore in a monotonous childlike timbre gets really tedious after about 15 minutes. Still, a society that truly recognizes talent and drive in the arts would automatically vote to allocate $100 million to allow the Steeges to create their magnum opus in the chibi Christian genre.

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Christian Magicians and "The Sin Chair" TEASER Nov 05, 2023

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Ash and Julian do a victory lap celebrating the end of Halloween season while presenting shocking new evidence that Halloween has officially become a religious holiday in the minds of the American public. Then, we move on to one of our favorite subjects — Christian magicians. We examine the videos of Joshua Lozoff and Brice Harney, two gigging magicians who advertise themselves to a Christian audience and incorporate wholesome elements into their shows in different ways. Finally, we stumble upon what seems to be a common youth group experience: The Sin Chair. We're not sure of the origins of this skit frequently performed at church events and talent shows, but it seems to be passed along like a meme from youth group to youth group, interpreted in very different ways. In the skit, a character sits on a chair prominently labeled "Do Not Touch", which causes them to get stuck to the chair. A series of people attempt to rescue them, only getting themselves stuck in the process. Finally, a character prays, which unlocks the sin chair and frees everyone. It seems like a simple and powerful metaphor for sin, but we can't help but think that it barely makes any sense at all. Still, our study of Christian stagecraft was a welcome conclusion to the darkness and despair we felt while entangled in the devil's "spooky season."

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