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Father Dad (2006) Jun 16, 2024

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To celebrate Father Dads' day, we watched another film by the genius Kenya Cagle, the auteur behind the extremely watchable faith-based films THE BOY WHO SAW CHRIST and MY KING. We've noticed that all of Mr. Cagle's films have in common that they are not afraid to show edgy adult themes in the context of presenting a faith-based message. FATHER DAD is no exception — it's the first Christian film we can ever remember watching with an extensive rape scene. In the film, Madge has remarried a kindly man her kids call "Father Dad" after healing from her previous relationship with the evil Lucius, who until recently has been in prison for attempted murder. Lucius is out now and will do anything in his power to destroy Madge's new life to get his kids back. Lucius's evil schemes reveal dark truths about the prison system, mainly that many inmates are having gay sex with each other behind bars and becoming infected with HIV, endangering the women they pursue once they are free men. It's a thrilling tale about sex, lies, and intrigue that never lets up its breakneck pace for the entire 2 hour runtime, a very rare quality in Christian films, so we can't recommend FATHER DAD enough. Show it to your father who stepped up on this special Sunday.

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The Basket (1999) TEASER Jun 09, 2024

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Happy NBA Finals! Helmut Brink is a little German boy who wants nothing more than to play the brand new sport called "basketball". I know what you're thinking. Didn't we just fight a World War against the Germans? Why would we let them enjoy our (second) national pastime? But Helmut is a special little boy — he and his sister Brigitte were adopted as war refugees by a kindly Reverend of a little farming town in Washington, USA. They do their chores and say the Pledge of Allegiance like any other American schoolchildren, so they are allowed to have a little basketball as a treat. That's the philosophy of school teacher Martin Conlon (played by Peter Coyote) in THE BASKET, a feature film for families released theatrically in the year 2000. Martin sees the men of his town struggling to pool their finances together to buy a new harvester machine, so he hatches the crazy scheme of putting together an amateur basketball team to compete for a tournament's cash prize, having been trained in the exotic art by none other than basketball inventor James Naismith himself. Christians seem to love movie plots about people playing old timey sports — we're reminded of SPIRIT OF THE GAME, a more recent Kevin Sorbo-fronted film about an early basketball tournament set in Australia. But THE BASKET goes beyond sportsmanship to weave a surprisingly complex plot with themes of war and immigration, set around the story of a fictitious opera DER KORB that was actually originally written and composed for this film. It's still hard to imagine a film like this would ever have broad enough popular appeal to be released in theaters — it's slow, goofy, pastoral, and much of the dialogue is delivered in a fake German accent. It speaks to a bygone pop cultural era where Christian stories were accepted in secular contexts because people appreciated their overt wholesomeness. Although THE BASKET may not be the most exciting sports film, it does feature one of the most shocking endings to a basketball game ever imagined. We can only hope James Naismith is smiling down at this film from heaven — in between teaching Jesus how to land the perfect free throw.

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Jubilee Media's "Middle Ground" Series Jun 02, 2024

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Since the beginning of recorded history, it has never been possible for people with opposing viewpoints to agree on anything — until now. Los Angeles-based media company Jubilee Media describes their extremely popular MIDDLE GROUND YouTube series as a "social experiment" bringing together individuals with opposing identities or viewpoints for some civilized discussion (for a change.) Some of these matchups that were viewed millions of times include "Flat Earthers vs. Scientists", "Men's Rights vs. Feminism", and "Millionaires vs. Minimum Wage Workers". These are all juicy concepts, but this week Ash and Julian choose to review MIDDLE GROUND's format by discussing their episode "Progressive Christians vs. Conservative Christians", where Biblical literalists and deconstructionists smack down over discussion topics like abortion, LGBT rights, Black Lives Matter, and more. We notice that MIDDLE GROUND's flawed format is actually a great way for both sides to reveal their own classic biases and fallacies. Conservative Christians tend to claim their favorite Bible passages are literally true while blatantly ignoring others; meanwhile, progressive Christians love to just make stuff up that sounds nice and claim Jesus would support it. We spin our wheels about this for a while before moving on to a debate between Polyamorists vs. Monogamists, for no reason other than to gawk at its participants. We conclude that Jubilee Media, like Dhar Mann (another popular YouTube media production company who we have studied in multiple Boys' Bible Study episodes), thrives on creating emotionally exploitative content that disguises itself as wholesome and balanced. No matter who wins on MIDDLE GROUND, we lose!

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Held for Ransom (1976) TEASER May 26, 2024

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God wants you to be kidnapped! Or at the very least, Christians are particularly equipped to endure a kidnapping because their faith in God keeps them patient and strong. This is the experience of Ruth Peterman, an ordinary Minnesotan woman whose life was turned upside down when she was kidnapped by two incompetent thugs who used her as bait to try to procure money from her husband, who works at a bank. We can't find a lot of information on Ruth and her alleged kidnapping, nor can we find much of any info about the production of the film HELD FOR RANSOM, which is loosely based on her story. Her character has been renamed Eunice for some reason. Eunice is abducted from her own driveway in broad daylight and held for days by two criminals she names "Bill" and "Jerry", who are continually stunned by her calmness and strength while being kept prisoner in a farmhouse in Minneapolis, Minnesota. She engages her kidnappers in lively conversation, attempts to convert them to Christ, and listens to hymns on the radio, while her faithful husband works with the FBI to ensure her safe return. Most of the dialogue in the film appears to be improvised for some reason, lending a weird gonzo tone to an eerily calm crime film set in the ultra-polite northern midwest region of the USA. There is a 20 minute section of the film that seems to be barely connected shots of cars driving around Minneapolis at night. It would be an otherwise straightforward crime film with an inspirational message, but bizarre production choices such as these and a luridly saturated color correction that make HELD FOR RANSOM a strange artifact of faith-based filmmaking. The message of the film is that faithful Christians need do no more than sit back, relax, and pray through the toughest moments in their life. Apparently Ruth's faith was so inspiring it caused her real life kidnappers to write to her from prison, begging for her forgiveness; you'll be begging Ruth for forgiveness too if you don't add HELD FOR RANSOM to your watchlist!

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Sense of Urgency (2017) May 19, 2024

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This Christian thriller shows how even a situation as scary and inconvenient as a bus hijacking can become a one-way ticket to salvation. Izzy is a privileged yet rebellious goth teen with a streak of dye in her hair, much to the disappointment of her Christian parents, who accidentally reveal to Izzy that she is adopted during a heated family discussion. Izzy's life suddenly becomes a quest to find her birth parents. Fortunately, her boyfriend Grayson has an uncle Rex who is a private investigator and is able to locate Izzy's mom, inspiring Izzy and Grayson to hop on a bus to meet her. Suddenly, a nightmare becomes reality — the bus is hijacked by a group of goons who kidnap Izzy, Grayson, and other passengers, demanding Izzy's father pay $2 million for her safe return. The psychological torment the kidnappers inflict on the passengers is the focus of most of SENSE OF URGENCY, and a series of bizarre plot twists transpire that would surely keep viewers on the edge of their seats if any of the surprises followed a coherent internal plot logic. Since none of them do, the final shocking reveal that spurs our protagonists to accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior is way more insane than inspiring. Still, SENSE OF URGENCY is a fun and watchable faith-based film because it understands that a lurid story about domestic terrorism is more exciting than a dull chamber drama of people talking to each other about God. But what if I wanted a dull chamber drama about God? Don't worry — since every character is trapped on a bus for an hour, we have plenty of time (and hostages) to kill.

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Kony 2012 May 05, 2024

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A short documentary that arguably changed the media landscape forever, KONY 2012 became a viral international sensation due in part to its evangelical tone, inspiring everyday people to gain a quasi-religious awareness of the "original sin" of Ugandan warlord Joseph Kony who could be defeated through the power of collective consciousness. It's no surprise that the mastermind behind the KONY 2012 documentary, Jason Russell (founder of Invisible Children) is a devout Christian who grew up in a family dedicated to Christian ministry through youth theater, although Russell intentionally chose not to broadcast his religious views in order to make the KONY 2012 movement palatable to as broad of an audience as possible. Still, the documentary, which at the time of its release was a media phenomenon and the most "liked" video ever on YouTube, shows strong evidence of Christian influence. The video argues that the belief of a group of people creates a tangible psychic force with the ability to affect world events, and it promotes the hypothetical arrest of Joseph Kony as a cathartic cleansing event that will lead to global harmony. KONY 2012 even contains a Millerite rapture-esque ritual in its "Cover the Night" happening, meant to take place on April 20, 2012, when the anti-Kony faithful would blanket their entire city in Kony propaganda overnight so that sleepers folk would awaken the next day to a completely new world of full Awareness. Unfortunately, the evil Joseph Kony was not arrested and is still at large to this day, but Jason Russell's movement left a noticeable impact on society at the very least by creating an internet video with full cultural penetration, something that is basically impossible to do nowadays in the ever-expanding universe of social media. The larger-than-life success of KONY 2012 also impacted Jason Russell's life when he suffered a public mental breakdown weeks after the video's release and was arrested for stripping naked and ranting on a public street, an event that was captured on video by phone cameras and disseminated through the same internet channels that Russell had used to spread his gospel in the first place. Many humans throughout history who encountered the divine dealt with issues that we now recognize with contemporary scientific framing as possibly being "manic episodes"; Joan of Arc is just one example. It's possible that Jason Russell's public struggles are simply another piece of evidence that KONY 2012 is the work of a modern-day prophet.

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A Wave of Kindness (2023) TEASER Apr 28, 2024

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A random act of kindness can make someone's day… but what if I really didn't need my day to be made? In A WAVE OF KINDNESS, a man named Ernesto shows kindness to strangers by waving at them from the side of the road every day while wearing a hat that says "I ❤️ JESUS". No one can really explain why this is kind or helpful, but Ernesto does it nonetheless, and attracts a local reputation for his efforts. When Ernesto fails to show up to his usual spot for a few days, a young journalist named Lance (played by Braeden Sorbo, son of Kevin) decides to try to locate and profile him, after his boss at the local paper (Kevin Sorbo) threatens to fire Lance if he can't come up with a happy, inspiring news story by the end of the week. Working on the story about Ernesto has a healing effect on Lance, who has buried himself in his work ever since the death of his mother in a texting and driving accident, a tragedy that fractured his family. Lance's father drinks and Lance's younger sister stays out late partying and smoking cigarettes, but when Lance finds Ernesto in the hospital, the whole family unites to help him the way that he helped them. A WAVE OF KINDNESS would be a heartwarming movie except for the fact that it is completely incoherent from start to finish, and it never proves its claim that Ernesto's actions have any effect on the world around him. It's a common Christian pop cultural trope that symbolic actions can have real world power, but A WAVE OF KINDNESS still manages to be one of the least believable faith-based films ever made, despite its very simple premise.

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One Nation Under God (2020) Apr 21, 2024

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When Christian teen David Gutierrez arrives at his new high school, he is immediately mortified by being the only kid who says "Under God" during the pledge. He is ruthlessly mocked by the school bully and called into the headmaster's (Casper Van Dien) office to be reprimanded for breaking the school's "religious tolerance" rules, which of course mean that all religions are tolerated except for Christianity. David's debate club advisor (Kevin Sorbo) encourages him to take a stand for his beliefs; this leads David to cause a "viral moment" by asking a visiting presidential candidate (Antonio Sabata Jr.) to put God back into politics, the video of which is then spread online like wildfire. ONE NATION UNDER GOD is a relatively high-budget film for the Christian genre, directed by Lisa Arnold (This Is Our Time), which delightfully hits all the most cliche beats of the faith-based films we know in love — atheist teachers, precocious Christian kids, a preoccupation with "going viral", and a climactic showdown debate where the Christian kid owns his opponent with logic and reason. It also stars a pantheon of Christian film royalty, with one of Sorbo's best film performances ever, even though he's playing basically he same character he plays in all of his films. ONE NATION UNDER GOD is the perfect Christian film to put on with your friends because it's not too depressing, has several laugh out loud moments, and might even give you a few talking points for your next debate. You'll be proud that our founding fathers made the Constitution go viral!

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This Is Our Time (2013) Apr 07, 2024

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A Christian millennial melodrama that is equal parts snarky and depressing, THIS IS OUR TIME is a love letter from director Lisa Arnold to the dreamers who graduated college in 2012 with wide eyes and a twitter account and tried to make a name for themselves. Five friends each leave college with greatly different career prospects; Ethan feels shame about being stuck in a sandwich shop while his high-achieving friends Ryder and Kate land high-powered entry level business careers, and his sister Alé and her husband Luke move to India to do outreach missionary work for children with leprosy. When Alé is randomly hit by a car and dies (the most Christian film plot point ever) the friends must reassess their dreams amidst the sobering daylight of reality. They begin a "viral" social media campaign to raise funds for Embrace A Village, a real life charitable organization that seems to have sponsored the film in some way, confusingly blending fiction and reality. THIS IS OUR TIME is an aggressively 2010s film that puts a Christian flair on millennial stereotypes of lattes, iPhones, and the concept of "adulting". The film conclusively proves that millennials who were seniors in college in the year 2012 are some of the most annoying people to ever walk the earth.

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The Robot The Creator (2022) Mar 24, 2024

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Can a robot become so intelligent that it acquires a human soul, and can we make it sexy? These are questions posed by THE ROBOT THE CREATOR by director Jasmine Deanne Andrews (sulliedbride.com) and co-writer Aaron R Sampson, a truly remarkable DIY Christian film with a huge amount of imagination, delivering an uncompromisingly ambitious story about killer robots and CIA laboratories but filmed on no budget in random people's houses. The government asks a dream team of robotics scientists to continue their research years after one of their robots programmed with the "kill kill kill command" goes on a (you guessed it) killing spree, and the team reluctantly reassembles to perfect their research in a more ethical manner. They resurrect their experiment, a female robot named Auto Mae, but tragedy strikes after the team teaches her the comedy of Looney Tunes and she pushes a scientist off of a cliff because she thinks it would be funny (this is the actual plot of the movie). Auto Mae's natural intelligence makes her curious about the creator of humanity, but ultimately, the human folly of imitating God by creating a robot is too big of a sin for God to ignore. Can the world's top robotics team close Pandora's Box before it's too late?

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