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Description: In this episode, Susan shares her unique perspective on life challenges and how they can be occasions for transformation. Drawing from her own experiences, she provides insights and tools that can help others all over the globe to find peace in the face of adversity. Shownotes: When Susan took a chance and moved away from her hometown, she found that being grateful helped her heal from trauma. She became a successful producer and TV executive, but her marriage was hard and violent. Susan took charge of her life and rewrote her past by meditating, being patient, and looking at herself. She had a tough childhood and has utilized what she learned to help other people learn, grow, and become the best versions of themselves. In this episode, you will learn the following: What was Susan's toxic relationship was like, and how did she recover from it? How did her chosen path become the most fulfilling and developmental experience of her life? How gratitude helped her to see her prior events in a more positive light. Connect with Susan Gold: Susan Gold Website Connect with Sabine Skvenberg: https://www.instagram.com/sabinekvenberg/ Sabine on Facebook Sabine on Linkedin Sabine on YouTube BECOME Podpage ➤Are you looking for the finest online course platform to swiftly build and sell courses? Why not try Kajabi? All the tools of Kajabi make it easier for you to create online courses, podcasts, coaching, memberships, and more! Try the 30-day free trial and make the most out of it. And if you're just getting started and want to put your offer up for sale in three days or less, follow this link and apply to "MAKING IT HAPPEN." TRANSCRIPT 00:00:00 Sabine: Hello, my name is Sabine Skvenberg, founder and host of BECOME. The content will inspire you to reach your aspirations and become the best version of yourself. I feature interviews with successful individuals from various industries, delving into their personal and professional journeys and their strategies to achieve their goals. We have to become the person we are meant to be first so we can live the life we are destined to live. That means we must overcome challenges and work through difficult times to learn, grow, and become the new, more fabulous version of ourselves. I'm so glad that you're here. Let's get on this journey together. 00:00:54 Sabine: My guest today is the magical Susan Gold. Susan has navigated a ferociously challenging upbringing, facing ingrained, outdated, and patriarchal programming head on. As an adult, she has bravely moved forward to transform her traumatic experiences into opportunities for growth and personal transformation. In this episode, Susan shares her unique perspective on life changes and how they can be occasions for transformation. Drawing from her own experiences, she provides insights and tools that can help others all over the globe to find peace in the face of adversity. Through her work, Susan is on a mission to help people transform their lives and rise above the pain and trauma of their past. Join us as we delve into Susan's journey and discover how we too can learn to transform our traumatic experiences into opportunities for growth and personal transformation. 00:02:07 Sabine: Welcome, Susan. Where are you chiming in from and how are you today? 00:02:14 Susan: Sabine, thank you so much for having me. I am in the beautiful mountains of Montana, and I could almost walk to Canada. It's 4 miles to the border. 00:02:25 Sabine: Oh, wow. So it's probably pretty cold there right now, right? 00:02:30 Susan: Yeah, it's in the 30s. We've had a few patches of really frigid weather, but it's been pretty mild. 00:02:39 Sabine: When you say it's in the 30s, for me, it's freezing cold. As you know, I live in Florida, as you can see, our closing gives away where we live. Well, that's great. I really can't wait to dive into your story. I find it interesting that some people are defined by their story and their upbringing. And staying in these circumstances while others break and transform. And I have the feeling you fall into the second category. But before we go into the story, I read one of the quotes on your website and says, "Living the path of truth and authenticity is not for the weak hearted. It's one of ultimate freedom." What do you mean by that? 00:03:37 Susan: Well, for me, the easier, softer weight Sabine would be to hide under the covers. I would have never left my little hometown at 17 the morning after I graduated from high school. But I knew in my heart there was more and that I had to stand up and take that risk. And that's been a theme throughout my life. Not the easier, softer way, but definitely the most rewarding and the most evolutionary for my soul. 00:04:11 Sabine: I cannot agree more, because, quite frankly, through adversity and going, the more difficult path is when we grow. That's where the most growth happens. And you had quite a career in New York and LA. You were known for matching celebrities to brands. You were a TV and film producer. So tell us more about your first career. 00:04:40 Susan: Wow. Well, growing up in my family home, I used to watch Barbara Walters on my belly, on my beanbag in the basement. I was so chawned by this woman and wanted to be just like her. And I ended up going to New York City. That's the place that I really wanted to go. And I ended up being Barbara's exercise trainer. And one morning I knocked on her door at 07:00 AM and she knew immediately something had happened, something was wrong. And I didn't want to share that personal information with her. But she was an incredible interviewer, and she got it out of me. I was harassed in the workplace, and she volunteered to come to work that morning and confront my boss with me. 00:05:21 Sabine: Wow. 00:05:21 Susan: And I said, yeah, no problem. That's okay. I'm going to handle it. And I did confront that boss who promptly fired me. And rather than go back into another assistantship, I decided to launch my own town brokerage firm in New York City. I was 25, and I had not much money in the bank. I had gotten out of an abusive relationship. The gentleman held the purse strings, so to speak, and I was under that illusion. But I decided to step up and take the risk. So I did. And my first deal was to knock on the factory door and convince Andy Warhol, the modern art master, to do a commercial for Pontiac. 00:06:08 Sabine: Oh, wow. That's amazing. But it's also interesting that you said that. Now, Barbara Walters recently passed away, and she was truly an amazing woman who got a lot out of the interview partners that she had and that you had that experience with her and she was able to help you. That is a beautiful memory I'm sure that you will treasure forever, and that also helped you move forward to your next career, so to speak, right? 00:06:45 Susan: Yes. She was really supportive of women, amazingly supportive of women. 00:06:50 Sabine: So how long did you stay in New York? 00:06:53 Susan: I was there about a decade, and I was very successful matching celebrities to brands, and that actually led me into television. Roger Ailes was running CNBC at the time, and he had his own talk network called America's Talking. And somehow they reached out to me and asked could I bring celebrities to his America's Talking Network? So I said, "Oh, sure. No problem." And of course, they weren't flocking. So one night, I grabbed the cameraman and we went to some charity red carpet event, and I stuck the mic in the celebrity spaces, interviewed them about the event and then had them look direct to the camera and say, I'm so and so. You're watching America's Talking, and it became this phenomenon, and we had all these celebrities running on the network, and it looked like an endorsement of America's Talking. So that caught Roger's attention, and he invited me to produce any show I wanted on the network and then invited me to help launch Fox News Channel. 00:08:00 Sabine: Oh, wow. That is quite a story. So what made you leave New York and move to LA? 0:08:11 Susan: So, opportunity, for one. But I really felt, Sabine, that I was becoming a caricature of myself. I had trouble really finding connection. I had a little cabin up in the catskills, and I would go Friday night and I wouldn't return to the city until Monday morning. And I just was living to get into nature, and my routine was very rigid. I had to go to the gym, I had to do certain things, and I was finding it harder to socialize. I couldn't make plans and keep them. So I just felt like my time was ticking down. And I got a phone call from a very dear friend who had gone out to LA to run a talk show, and she said, "I want you to come out here. I need you to bring celebrities to the table for the talk show." And I said yes immediately. And then I panicked. 00:09:11 Sabine: So why did you panic? 00:09:15 Susan: It was a huge shift. I mean, I had to envision myself in New York City since I was young. I mean, I was probably ten years old, and I knew I wanted to be there, and I felt comfortable there. I knew how to push the buttons, I knew the players, I had fairly good income, I had clients, and here I was going to new territory. But I also knew that I wasn't intuitively going to stay in New York City my entire life. And I felt like opportunity comes for a specific reason, and if you're strong enough, just take it. So I thought I was going to LA for my career, which did blossom, but really, I think I went to LA to meet one of my biggest gurus, who is my ex-husband. 00:10:01 Sabine: All right , that is an interesting combination. Your biggest guru, now ex husband. So tell us more about what that quote unquote, "guru" relationship was. What did it give you? 00:10:18 Susan: Well, I was since the second grade, and Billy Fritz attached at the hip to any kind of male attention. And friends used to say, you know, when I'm in adulthood, I'm so powerful, you're so powerful, you're so accomplished. But I never really felt that I always had to be in some kind of relationship or I just felt like I was going to be annihilated. I mean, it was so strong, and that was costing heavily, but I didn't quite realize it as I was going through it. And I met my ex-husband and thought I met the man of my dreams. I mean, he said the right things, he had the right look, he had the right career, all the material things, right? But I also felt like we connected as individuals, and we did. It just wasn't the connection that I was hoping for. Because ultimately what I discovered was he did seem like he was right out of the movies because he had a false construct and persona. And when the mask fell, it was incredibly painful. 00:11:37 Sabine: Wow. When the mask fell. 00:11:43 Sabine: Let me hop in here real quick to share something with you. Have you ever tried to build your own website, start a newsletter or build a course and charge for it? Have you ever wanted to make money online but are totally confused by all the different systems you need to have? That's why I use Kajabi. Kajabi is the most popular system for online marketers, coaches, top leaders and influencers. Kajabi helps online entrepreneurs take off. Over hundred thousands of us use Kajabi and have made over $4 billion. Why not be part of it? The best thing is you don't have to figure out tons of systems or crazy technology to start your online business. Kajabi helps you do all of that and it's all on one platform. That's why I use it. It makes my life so much easier and I can even earn money while I'm sleeping. You can build your web pages, blogs and membership sites. You can create offers, check out pages and collect money. You can host your videos. You can start your newsletter list, capture emails, start your marketing funnels all in one place. It makes it fun and easy with awesome tutorials and support. Since I've joined Kajabi from the beginning, I have a special affiliate link that I would like to share with you. A 30-day free trial. So nothing to lose, but everything to gain. Just go to my link that's in the show notes sabinekavenberg.com/resources, and we will redirect you to the free trial page. And if you are just starting out and want to get your offer out for sale in just three days, let me help you do that. Visit my web page, by the way, that I build on Kajabi and apply to "MAKING IT HAPPEN." So now let's get back to the show. 00:13:55 Sabine: I think a lot of people can relate to that, that sometimes we are blinded by an outer appearance and by quote unquote "acting." Someone acts a certain way, but then when we get to know them and we get under the cover so to speak, and reveal the core, then we see other things, and it can be even painful, physically or mentally. So I hear you. Wow. But good for you that you made that transition out of that relationship so that you felt better after all, I suppose, right? 00:14:39 Susan: Well, it was the journey to begin. I did not want my family to break up. At that time, I had a son. We had a son together. I had purchased a home for our family, just like a coveted jewel in Southern California. I didn't want my lifestyle to change, and I didn't want to be abandoned by my husband. So I did everything I could to keep our marriage together. And finally he just crossed his arms and his eyes went into those cold slits, and he said, "I'm hiring an attorney and I'm filing for divorce." And that was the universe doing for me what I could not do for myself because I was going to hang on to the nail and I was going to make this work. I didn't want a broken home for my son, but I felt the toll that it was taking on everyone, and we all had to step up and face it, and it was difficult. 00:15:43 Susan: My ex husband did not leave our family home. He remained in the master bedroom, and I was in a partial conversion in the garage, on a mattress, on the floor, in a home that I purchased and maintained for our family. And that is the metaphor for the relationship and what I was allowing myself to carry and the demonstration that I was allowing for my son. So I really had to face it. And it took that kind of billboard falling on my head for me to wake up to the circumstance. 00:16:25 Sabine: Yeah. It's so beautiful how you said that the universe is giving us the clues. The universe is giving us the two by fours right onto our heads to wake up, to realize, look, holding onto that comfort, not even if it's comfort, but that comfort zone, that zone that we know because we are afraid and fear stepping in because we don't know what's on the other side. And for so many people, it's holding them back. But how did you get over that whole thing? When did you realize? Because what I sense here is that you really had to get through that stage where you just had to be still, to transform, to finally get those wings like the butterfly like the symbol of my podcast. 00:17:26 Susan: Which is so beautiful, Sabine, and I just want to compliment you for getting this messaging out and the theme of your podcast because it has great meaning for so many of us, especially in these times today. So thank you from the bottom of my heart, I want to say that that lesson probably was one of the biggest of lifetimes, and standing up to it felt absolutely monumental. And it took every tool I had in my kit to go through that experience. I was an endurance athlete. I needed that type of training that I had to get through this. I was a longtime meditator. I learned how to sit in silence for hours at a time and not make eye contact, and that's what I needed…
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