Bare Marriage

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Christianity
**Bare Marriage**

Tired of Christian pat answers about marriage? The podcast that goes in-depth into marriage, parenting, and even sex–to see how we can live the passionate life we were meant for. Paired with Bare Marriage–the blog!

Latest Episodes:

Episode 271: What the Unfairness Threshold Tells Us About Marriage (and Mental Load!) Feb 20, 2025

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PREODER THE MARRIAGE YOU WANT

Pre-Order on Amazon
Get other links to Pre-Order
Send in your preorder receipt to preorder@marriageyouwantbook.com

TO SUPPORT US

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Join our email list!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:

The Great Sex Rescue
She Deserves Better
The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 270: What Does Prioritizing Marriage Look Like? Plus Do You Have to Choose Between Being a Good Wife and a Good Mom? Feb 13, 2025

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Prioritizing your marriage can be tough. How do we spend enough time together? Do we need more date nights? And MOMS—don’t forget to be a wife first and a mom second! But in all this talk, are we missing the bigger point? If we’re functioning as a team, doing life together, then affection will grow. But if you see your kids as threats to your marriage, or think you can connect with a date night when you haven’t been in the trenches together all week, you’re not going to feel close. A new way of thinking about prioritizing your relationship—without the GUILT! Based on new stats from The Marriage You Want!
PREODER THE MARRIAGE YOU WANT

Pre-Order on Amazon
Get other links to Pre-Order
Send in your preorder receipt to preorder@marriageyouwantbook.com

TO SUPPORT US

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Join our email list!

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:

The Great Sex Rescue
She Deserves Better
The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 269: The Marriage Hierarchy of Needs—and Why Compromise Doesn’t Work Feb 06, 2025

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Ever tried to find a compromise when you’re having an argument—but even the compromise doesn’t seem fair? In today’s podcast we explain why—using what we call The Marriage Hierarchy of Needs. We talk about this in our new book The Marriage You Want! Basically, compromise only works if you both start off on equal footing. But if one of you is already doing more than their fair share, compromise just makes it even more unequal. So let’s talk about foundation vs. frills, how to overcome entitlement, and why unfairness can’t go on forever!
PREODER THE MARRIAGE YOU WANT

Pre-Order on Amazon
Get other links to Pre-Order
Send in your preorder receipt to preorder@marriageyouwantbook.com

TO SUPPORT US

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Join our email list!

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:

The Great Sex Rescue
She Deserves Better
The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 268: Why Data Shows That Teamwork, Not Hierarchy, Is the Key to a Great Marriage! Jan 30, 2025

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What is the biggest key to a great marriage? Teamwork! Let’s talk about how teamwork is associated with all the good outcomes we want for marriage—better sex; feeling close; resolving conflict—everything! But complementarianism, on the other hand, is associated with all the bad outcomes. Good outcomes and bad outcomes tend to travel together—and complementarianism travels with the bad stuff! Hear about all our new data from our new book The Marriage You Want!
LINKS
PREODER THE MARRIAGE YOU WANT

Pre-Order on Amazon
Get other links to Pre-Order
Send in your preorder receipt to preorder@marriageyouwantbook.com

TO SUPPORT US

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Join our email list!

THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST

Reel from BrandonTalksMarriage
Our reel on whether women want leaders or someone to take initiative
The podcast that reel was based on (Marriage on the Rock)
The Gospel Coalition reel about doing “risky” things
The original podcast where Cynthia Westfall appeared

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:

The Great Sex Rescue
She Deserves Better
The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 267: Why Evangelical Marriage Advice Often Backfires Jan 23, 2025

Show notes

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In our research looking at marital and sexual satisfaction among evangelicals, we’ve found that over and over again our best-selling books, and our megachurch pastors, teach things that are shown to lead to worse outcomes. Why? What’s going on? In today’s podcast we share the faulty premise that is at the heart of evangelical marriage advice, and the four toxic teachings that flow from that false premise. But when we fix that first premise—then our advice can finally get healthy (and Jesus-centered!)
LINKS

Pre-Order The Marriage You Want!
Pre-Order on Amazon
Get other links to Pre-Order
Send in your preorder receipt to preorder@marriageyouwantbook.com

TO SUPPORT US

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Join our email list!

THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST

Access our rubric scoring the various best-selling marriage and sex books
Our podcast talking about the problems with the “research” supporting Love & Respect
Our podcast with the issues with Marriage on the Rock
The Voddie Baucham clip
Our round up of the issues with the book The Excellent Wife
The Jimmy Evans clip
The Tim Keller clip
The Lisa and Francis Chan clip #1
The Lisa and Francis Chan clip #2

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:

The Great Sex Rescue
She Deserves Better
The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 266: Demolishing the Love and Respect Dichotomy Definitively (with Data) Jan 16, 2025

Show notes

Send us Fan Mail

The idea that men need respect while women need love has been treated as gospel truth in the evangelical world. Best-sellers have been written based on it; it informs almost every marriage sermon. What if it’s not true? Using data from our marriage survey of 7000 people, we show how reality is very different—and what this means for how we should talk about marriage!
TO SUPPORT US

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Join our email list!

LINKS

Pre-order The Marriage You Want! https://amzn.to/3YQfqMy
Send your pre-order receipts to preorder@marriageyouwantbook.com to get our pre-order bonus and an invite to the launch team!

THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST

Take our marriage survey yourself as a date night!
Our synopsis of everything wrong with Love & Respect (with other posts and podcasts linked in the bottom)
Our open letter to Focus on the Family
Jonathan Pokluda clip
Female Influencer clip #1
Female influencer clip #2
Josh and Jana Howerton
Josh Howerton “Give him a crown”
Steve Gaines’ sermon on respect

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:

The Great Sex Rescue
She Deserves Better
The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 265: Culture Wars vs. Jesus: How to Not Get Sucked in To Toxic Teachings Jan 09, 2025

Show notes

Send us Fan Mail

So many of us got sucked into believing toxic stuff about marriage and sex in the evangelical church! But unless we figured out WHY we believed that, we’re likely to get suckered in again to toxic stuff—just DIFFERENT toxic stuff. So today, Rebecca and I are doing a postmortem, looking at what it is about church that leaves us vulnerable to believing things that are toxic and rather easy to see through. Let’s become critical thinkers, so we don’t get sucked in again!
TO SUPPORT US

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Join our email list!

LINKS

The Marriage You Want. You can preorder it here!
Send your pre-order receipts to: preorder@marriageyouwantbook.com The preorder bonuses and invites to the launch team will be sent out next week.
Check out our new plans for 2025, with links to all our social media channels
The Great Sex Rescue--the Kindle sale is over but the paperback's on sale!
Focus on the Family posts about Jane and John

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:

The Great Sex Rescue
She Deserves Better
The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 264: It’s the Peer Reviewed Celebration! Plus a Plea to Respect Science Dec 19, 2024

Show notes

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Our big announcement: We’re peer-reviewed! Our dataset for The Great Sex Rescue has now appeared in the November 2024 Sociology of Religion Journal. So let’s talk about what we found, but also ask: why are evangelicals so quick to dismiss science, but at the same time cling to bad interpretations of data if it suits their agenda? Can we become better critical thinkers?
COMING IN 2025

Pre-Order The Marriage You Want

Join our email list to be notified about the launch team

TO SUPPORT US

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Join our email list!

LINKS TO THINGS MENTIONED:

Our journal article Sanctified Sexism
The Great Sex Rescue (our book using this dataset)
Lisa Bevere Reel with misinformation
Fact Checking her claims
Shaunti Feldhahn claiming Christian researchers can’t be peer reviewed
Podcast where we dissected one of Shaunti Feldhahn’s survey questions
Dissecting another survey question
The One Sheet of the problems with For Women Only
Shaunti Feldhahn’s Statement about Us
Our statement in response
Analysis of Shaunti Feldhahn’s use of neuroscience research

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:

The Great Sex Rescue
She Deserves Better
The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 263: Even After Everything—Loving Anyway, Despite the Risks Dec 12, 2024

Show notes

Send us Fan Mail

Advent is normally a time of hopeful expectation. But what does it mean when our hopes have been dashed in the past? Stephanie Duncan Smith shares her stories of miscarriages and losses—as well as great celebrations, and what it means to embrace a life that is really messy. And we look at how we can celebrate the Incarnation by being Jesus’ hands and feet, seeing the work fighting sex trafficking that The Well House is doing. It’s the Christmas season, everyone!
Stocking Stuffers:
Check out our biblical womanhood line of merch, or our Prayer and Tent Pegs lines! They're wonderful with mugs, notebooks, stickers, tshirts and more!
TO SUPPORT US

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Join our email list!

THINGS MENTIONED

Find Even After Everything
Donate to The Well House
Donate to the work we do! Help us meet our 2025 goals. Get a tax-deductible receipt for donations within the US
Or, if you’d rather, join our Patreon and support us that way, while getting access to an exclusive Facebook group, unfiltered podcasts, and more!

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:

The Great Sex Rescue
She Deserves Better
The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 262: Problems with Marriage on the Rock by Jimmy Evans Dec 05, 2024

Show notes

Send us Fan Mail

Jimmy Evans started XO Marriage over 30 years ago, and his book Marriage on the Rock became a best-seller. He leads marriage conferences around the country. But for years he also Mark Driscoll on his leadership team. He got his start at Gateway Church under Robert Morris, who has been accused of grooming and sexually abusing a teen girl, starting when she was 12. And more recently audio of Evans’ bullying behavior has dropped. So let’s examine his book Marriage on the Rock—and we’ll find that he stresses one-sided sex as obligation; says dangerous things about abuse; and expects women to shoulder the mental and emotional load for the family.
Our Sponsor:
Ever, AJ: Uniquely crafted vegan leather Bible cases.
These Bible Cases are GORGEOUS and FUNCTIONAL! Use it as a traditional case, or you can also buy purses and wristlets. Makes a great gift too!
Stocking Stuffers:
Check out our biblical womanhood line of merch, or our Prayer and Tent Pegs lines! They're wonderful with mugs, notebooks, stickers, tshirts and more!
LINKS:
Get Our One Sheet Download of Marriage on the Rock
TO SUPPORT US

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Join our email list!

THINGS MENTIONED:

The audio of Jimmy Evans’ bullying behavior in the Daystar meeting
Evidence of Mark Driscoll being on the leadership team at XO Marriage

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:

The Great Sex Rescue
She Deserves Better
The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

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