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Bare Marriage — Christianity
Bare Marriage

Tired of Christian pat answers about marriage? The podcast that goes in-depth into marriage, parenting, and even sex–to see how we can live the passionate life we were meant for. Paired with To Love, Honor and Vacuum–the blog!

Copyright: © 2024 Bare Marriage

Latest Episodes:

Episode 264: It’s the Peer Reviewed Celebration! Plus a Plea to Respect Science Dec 19, 2024

Our big announcement: We’re peer-reviewed! Our dataset for The Great Sex Rescue has now appeared in the November 2024 Sociology of Religion Journal. So let’s talk about what we found, but also ask: why are evangelicals so quick to dismiss science, but at the same time cling to bad interpretations of data if it suits their agenda? Can we become better critical thinkers?
COMING IN 2025

Pre-Order The Marriage You Want

Join our email list to be notified about the launch team

TO SUPPORT US

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Join our email list!

LINKS TO THINGS MENTIONED:

Our journal article Sanctified Sexism
The Great Sex Rescue (our book using this dataset)
Lisa Bevere Reel with misinformation
Fact Checking her claims
Shaunti Feldhahn claiming Christian researchers can’t be peer reviewed
Podcast where we dissected one of Shaunti Feldhahn’s survey questions
Dissecting another survey question
The One Sheet of the problems with For Women Only
Shaunti Feldhahn’s Statement about Us
Our statement in response
Analysis of Shaunti Fe

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 263: Even After Everything—Loving Anyway, Despite the Risks Dec 12, 2024

Advent is normally a time of hopeful expectation. But what does it mean when our hopes have been dashed in the past? Stephanie Duncan Smith shares her stories of miscarriages and losses—as well as great celebrations, and what it means to embrace a life that is really messy. And we look at how we can celebrate the Incarnation by being Jesus’ hands and feet, seeing the work fighting sex trafficking that The Well House is doing. It’s the Christmas season, everyone!
Stocking Stuffers:
Check out our biblical womanhood line of merch, or our Prayer and Tent Pegs lines! They're wonderful with mugs, notebooks, stickers, tshirts and more!
TO SUPPORT US

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Join our email list!

THINGS MENTIONED

Find Even After Everything
Donate to The Well House
Donate to the work we do! Help us meet our 2025 goals. Get a tax-deductible receipt for donations within the US
Or, if you’d rather, join our Patreon and support us that way, while getting access to an exclusive Facebook group, unfiltered podcasts, and more!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 262: Problems with Marriage on the Rock by Jimmy Evans Dec 05, 2024

Jimmy Evans started XO Marriage over 30 years ago, and his book Marriage on the Rock became a best-seller. He leads marriage conferences around the country. But for years he also Mark Driscoll on his leadership team. He got his start at Gateway Church under Robert Morris, who has been accused of grooming and sexually abusing a teen girl, starting when she was 12. And more recently audio of Evans’ bullying behavior has dropped. So let’s examine his book Marriage on the Rock—and we’ll find that he stresses one-sided sex as obligation; says dangerous things about abuse; and expects women to shoulder the mental and emotional load for the family.
Our Sponsor:
Ever, AJ: Uniquely crafted vegan leather Bible cases.
These Bible Cases are GORGEOUS and FUNCTIONAL! Use it as a traditional case, or you can also buy purses and wristlets. Makes a great gift too!
Stocking Stuffers:
Check out our biblical womanhood line of merch, or our Prayer and Tent Pegs lines! They're wonderful with mugs, notebooks, stickers, tshirts and more!
LINKS:
Get Our One Sheet Download of Marriage on the Rock
TO SUPPORT US

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Join our email list!

THINGS MENTIONED:

The audio of Jimmy Evans’ bullying behavior in the Daystar meeting
Evidence of Mark Driscoll being on the leadership team at XO Marriage

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 261: Her Rites: The 6 Rites of Passage in a Woman’s Life feat. Christy Bauman Nov 27, 2024

Ever feel like your body is a stranger to you? Like you’re plagued with insecurity, can’t find peace in your relationships? What if it’s because we’re running away from part of who we are, and we haven’t been able to honor who God made us to be? Christy Bauman, a licensed therapist, noticed in her counseling that her clients often didn’t have a clear identity or were able to articulate who they were. So she invites us on a journey of recovering rites of passage—where we honor sacred moments in our lives, honor our birthright, honor who God made us to be. We honor the good and the bad; we lament what is lost but we celebrate what we’ve achieved. And when we’re able to do these things, we can finally be comfortable in our own skin! Join us for this deep and personal conversation.
OUR SPONSOR:

Ever, AJ: Uniquely crafted vegan leather Bible cases. These Bible Cases are GORGEOUS and FUNCTIONAL! Use it as a traditional case, or you can also buy purses and wristlets. Makes a great gift too!
TO SUPPORT US

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Join our email list!

Things Mentioned in the Podcast:

Christy Bauman’s book Her Rites
Find Christy, her book, and the songs
Great Sex Rescue is on for under $10 on Amazon right now! (who knows how long that will last?)
Our peer reviewed article in the Sociology of Religion journal

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 260: Shame Must Switch Sides: It’s Not Shameful to NOT Want Pornified Sex Nov 21, 2024

Gisele Pelicot famously said that "shame must switch sides"--and I think that applies to the evangelical church! Over and over again over the last few years ,when male teachers have presented a pornified view of sex and women have said "no", women have been accused of being prudes. But it is okay to reject objectification. A close look at Josh Butler, Gary Thomas coercing women into sending nude photos, and more--all of whom called us ashamed of sex for saying no.

SPECIAL: The Great Sex Rescue is on major sale on Amazon right now! Get it here

TO SUPPORT US

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Join our email list!

THINGS MENTIONED:

Ngina Otiende’s initial article about Gary Thomas
Our review of Gary Thomas’ book Married Sex
My original article about how Married Sex coerces nude photos
Our podcast where we talked about Gisele Pelicot
The Male Centric Sex podcast
Theology in the Raw episode with Josh Butler
Brett McCracken about Josh Butler
Twitter thread with Gary Thomas
Juli Slattery’s article quoting me

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 259: Avoiding Power Struggles with Your Kids (Plus are you an unintentionally permissive parent?) Nov 14, 2024

Do you find yourself in constant power struggles with your kids? Do you feel like your kids too often set the terms of their cooperation? Or are you worried that you are too hard and demanding on them?
Well today I talk with Wendy Snyder, a positive parenting coach, as we get into the nitty gritty of how to find that balance between being authoritarian and overly permissive. Cut the drama, cut the power struggles, and learn how to thrive as a family!
SIGN UP for our FREE Parenting Webinar with Wendy! The Compassionate Discipline Workshop, Tuesday November 19 at 1 pm EST!

THINGS MENTIONED

Wendy's Website, Fresh Start Family
Find Wendy on Instagram
Listen to our last podcast with Wendy, Parenting without Yelling

TO SUPPORT US

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Join our email list!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 258: They’re Coming After Bluey Now? What’s Wrong with Involved Fathers? Nov 07, 2024

Why are writers for The Gospel Coalition coming after the dad in the cartoon series Bluey? He’s an involved dad who loves his kids. Why are they so offended? Rick Pidcock joins Rebecca and Connor Lindenbach for a deep dive—and then Rebecca and Connor talk more about our anemic view of fatherhood.
TO SUPPORT US

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Join our email list!

Things Mentioned

Rick Pidcock’s article about coming after Bluey
Jeremy Pryor’s article about Bluey turning fathers into mothers
Rick Pidcock's blog

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 257: Little Girls in Church Parking Lots in BaptistLand Oct 31, 2024

Christa Brown was sexually assaulted dozens of times by her youth pastor when she was 15. She was made to repent and apologize to his wife. The pastor just got moved around from church to church for decades. When Christa’s daughter reached the same age Christa was when she was assaulted, she went public—and started the movement to push the SBC towards accountability for the sexual abuse crisis in their midst. She’s written a memoir called BaptistLand, and today we talk about Christa’s fight—and how SBC megachurch pastors today are still demonizing “little girls” rather than holding men accountable.
THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST:
Pick up our Great Sex Rescue Tookit—to help start important conversations to those close to you
TO SUPPORT US

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Join our email list!

IMPORTANT LINKS:

Christa Brown’s book BaptistLand
Christa on Twitter
Christa on Substack
Read the Guideposts report
The original Houston Chronicle article
News article about the amicus brief filed by SBC entities AGAINST a sexual assault victim
Josh Howerton sermon clip
See the documentary For Our Daughters
Follow the Sons of Patriarchy podcast about Doug Wilson on Spotify

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 256: How Should You Handle the Sex Talk with Your Kids? Oct 24, 2024

Talking to your kids about sex & puberty is awkward! And over the years the church has made some big mistakes. Today we talk about how to avoid the biggest ones--and some encouragement for how to do this with as little awkwardness as possible.
OUR SEX AND PUBERTY COURSE:
Check out our revamped version of The Whole Story--our sex and puberty course for parents to share with kids. It's video-based, and it makes covering all the info much easier. It's on sale until Monday, October 28 at midnight.
TO SUPPORT US:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Join our email list!

THINGS MENTIONED:

Our book She Deserves Better

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 255: For Our Daughters—Plus Why Sex Abuse Scandals Keep Happening Oct 17, 2024

We aren’t going to fix the abuse crisis in the church until we deal with the underlying beliefs that actually enable abuse. Today Kristin Kobes Du Mez joins us to talk about her new documentary For Our Daughters, which shows how beliefs about gender, power and politics that are rampant in the church actually contribute to abuse. And Pastor Trey Ferguson joins us to comment on a recent article he wrote explaining how evangelicalism’s views of sex, which ignore intimacy, contribute to abuse too.

OUR SPONSOR:

Dr. Camden’s wonderful new book Recovering from Purity Culture launches this week! Learn the 5 myths of purity culture, how they affected you, and best of all—how to heal from them. Highly practical and insightful!

Plus Sheila wrote the foreword!

https://drcamden.com/book/
TO SUPPORT US

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Join our email list!

THINGS MENTIONED:

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 254: The 5 Myths of Purity Culture with Dr. Camden Morgante Oct 10, 2024

We know purity culture hurt so many of us. But how do we actually move on and recover from purity culture? Today Dr. Camden Morgante joins us to look at the 5 myths of purity culture, and how to heal and get to the other side!

OUR FREE WEBINAR!

Join Rebecca and me as we host Camden for a FREE webinar looking more into these myths, where we find them, and where we go from here! It'll be a super fun hour with some prizes, games, and lots of inside scoop!

Monday, October 14, 8 pm EST. Sign up here
TO SUPPORT US

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Join our email list!

THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST:

Dr. Camden's book Recovering from Purity Culture
Get Dr. Camden's pre-order bonuses!
Follow Dr. Camden online
Find Dr. Camden on Instagram

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 253: The 93% Myth: That Stat That Says Fathers Are More Important Than Mothers Is Made Up! Oct 03, 2024

Ever heard the stat from “a recent study” that found that, when a husband comes to Christ first, in 93% of cases the wife and kids follow, but when the wife comes to Christ first, it’s only 17%? Today Beth Allison Barr and Miranda Zapor Cruz, both academics looking into gender relations in church, join me to try to track down the source. Spoiler alert: People seem to have made this up about 30 years ago—and they keep quoting it! We look at what happens when churches assume this stat is true.

OUR SPONSOR

Ever, AJ: Uniquely crafted vegan leather Bible cases. These Bible Cases are GORGEOUS and FUNCTIONAL! Use it as a traditional case, or you can also buy purses and wristlets. Makes a great gift too!
TO SUPPORT US

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

THINGS MENTIONED:

ABOUT MIRANDA ZAPOR CRUZ:

ABOUT BETH ALLISON BARR:

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 252: Flourishing Families Sep 26, 2024

We're all about healthy advice for marriage and sex. But what if evangelical teachings around parenting have also been messed up? And how can we parent in a healthy way? David and Amanda Erickson join us to talk about their new book The Flourishing Family, based on Scripture, brain science, attachment theory, and more. THIS is how we should parent!
OUR SPONSOR

Ever, AJ: Uniquely crafted vegan leather Bible cases. These Bible Cases are GORGEOUS and FUNCTIONAL! Use it as a traditional case, or you can also buy purses and wristlets. Makes a great gift too!
TO SUPPORT US

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Join our email list!

THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 251: All About Orgasms! Let’s Close the Gap! Sep 19, 2024

The evangelical world has an orgasm gap of 47 points between husbands and wives. Only 48% of women orgasm almost always or always, and 33% orgasm never or rarely.
The good news is that if you're in that 33%--you can still get to the 48%!
Today Rebecca and I look back at all the other episodes we've talked about orgasms, and have a great time discussing how we can learn to help couples prioritize her pleasure!
THE ORGASM COURSE
It's on sale until Monday, September 23 at midnight! When you purchase the regular course, you'll get the men's version added for free!
TO SUPPORT US

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Join our email list!

Things Mentioned in the Podcast

The Great Sex Rescue
Episode 74: You're Not Broken if Orgasm Is Elusive
Episode 92: All about Orgasms
Episode 129: Where Emerson Eggerichs Ignores Marital Rape (and doesn't understand women's arousal)
Episode 222: How Sex Is Like Chef Boyardee
Episode 168: The Myth of the Magic Penis

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 250: Not All Men—But How Do We Tell? Sep 12, 2024

We know it’s not all men who are predators. But it’s far too many. And a recent horrible court case in France is reminding women all over the world that far too many men are willing and eager to do the unthinkable. The only way to tell who is safe is to look at their words and their actions. And the words of far too many evangelical leaders and authors and pastors are straight up rape culture. After what happened to Gisele Pelicot, I’m not willing to put up with it anymore. No more Every Man’s Battle rape culture mindset in the church!
TO SUPPORT US

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Join our email list!

LINKS

Our Sponsor:

Rebecoming: Come Out of Hiding to Live as Your God-Given Essential Self.
This amazing book is one of the best I’ve read to explain basic counseling concepts, and gives you practical exercises to work through as you try to get unstuck. Highly recommend!

Things Mentioned

Check out Sheila's books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido cou

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 249: Rebecoming: Figuring Out Why You’re Stuck feat. Dr. Merry Lin Sep 05, 2024

It’s a complete therapy session—in one book and one podcast! Dr. Merry Lin joins us to explain why we so often feel stuck—and how to move forward. If you’ve been confused by terms like trauma, attachment theory, the Stone Age brain, and more, Dr. Merry Lin joins us for a primer that can help us get unstuck—and rebecome who we were meant to be!
TO SUPPORT US

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Join our email list!

HELP US OUT AFTER THE HACKING!

Please follow OUR NEW FACEBOOK PAGE
If you see a Facebook page called Endlessly Stories with weird images—that is our old page. Please report it!

About Dr. Merry Lin:

THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST:

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 248: Making Faith More Tangible in the Holy Everyday feat. Karen Stiller Aug 29, 2024

What does it look like to actually grow like Christ? Like, not from a sermon, or not from some lofty retreat, but just in the here and now? Can we actually grow “holier”? A beautiful conversation with Karen Stiller, author of the book Holiness Here. We tackle envy, joy, contentment—and even grief, as she shares about processing the death of her husband.
TO SUPPORT US

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Join our email list!

HELP US OUT AFTER THE HACKING!

Please follow OUR NEW FACEBOOK PAGE
If you see a Facebook page called Endlessly Stories with weird images—that is our old page. Please report it!

ABOUT KAREN

Find Karen’s book Holiness Here
Find the article Karen wrote about grief

THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST:

The post I wrote for Karen about what churches need today
Join the Bare Marriage cruise, February 2025!
The Orgasm Course
We're in the midst of revamping The Whole Story, our sex and puberty course! If you purchase it now you can still work through it, and then you'll have access to the new one when it's out in two months.
See Keith and me speak at a marriage conference in Lead, South Dakota, September 27 & 28

Check out Sheila's books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 247: Ask Sheila and Rebecca Anything! We Tackle Your Questions Aug 22, 2024

Sheila and Rebecca are answering your questions today! We covered how to find a new church when you feel like church has let you down; how to start your sex life well; what to do when people don’t think purity culture was harmful; and so much more! And we throw data and nuance into the mix too.
HELP US OUT AFTER THE HACKING!

Please follow OUR NEW FACEBOOK PAGE
If you see a Facebook page called Endlessly Stories with weird images—that is our old page. Please report it!

OUR SPONSOR
It's the Bible that lets girls see themselves in the story! The Kingdom Girls Bible from Zonderkidz--with profiles of all the women in the Bible (including many you may not have heard of!). It's an awesome Bible for girls 8-12--or for you too!
TO SUPPORT US

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
Join our email list!

LINKS

Download our rubric and scorecard for the problematic books
Check out our Toolkit with handouts on all the toxic teachings, and more
The Good Girl’s/Good Guy’s Guides to Great Sex (make them the engagement gifts!)
The Great Sex Rescue
My Instagram Channel where all the questions came from
Last week’s podcast on authoritarian control
Podcast from a Pelvic Floor Physiotherapist

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 246: How Toxic Marriage Advice Mirrors Coercive Control Aug 15, 2024

What if you discovered that marriage books like The Excellent Wife actually follows Steve Hassan's BITE model of cult indoctrination? And what if these marriage books were giving advice that mirrored coercive control?
Bare Marriage podcast, episode 246, featuring Bethany Jantzi. Bethany did her thesis on coercive control, and today she shows us how these books use methods like: diminishing/devaluing personhood; undermining autonomy; creating psychological dependency; using a fear-based system of control; suppressing critical thinking; and conditioning compliance. And all of those things factor into abuse rates and coercive control. And we can do better than this!
OUR SPONSOR:
It's the Bible that lets girls see themselves in the story! The Kingdom Girls Bible from Zonderkidz--with profiles of all the women in the Bible (including many you may not have heard of!). It's an awesome Bible for girls 8-12--or for you too!
TO SUPPORT US:
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
FIND BETHANY:
Free From Control on Instagram
Bethany's website: Free From Control
THINGS MENTIONED:
How God Sees Women by Terran Williams
Marg Mowczko on Bible Interpretations
Our Series on the Danvers Statement

Timestamps

0.11 Intro

11.30 Complimentarianism

18.24 God Knows Best

31.50 Control and Domination

40.10 Wife as a Training Ground

59.30 Are We Under Undue Influence

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 245: The Problems with The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace Aug 08, 2024

The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace sells like hotcakes in biblical counseling/ fundamentalist/ homeschooling circles, and even though it seems like a “fringe” book, it’s affecting tens of thousands of women. Today Marissa Burt and Tia Levings and I sit down to talk about the problems with this book that tells women they must obey their husbands and submit—no matter what.
Our Sponsor:

It's the Bible that lets girls see themselves in the story! The Kingdom Girls Bible from Zonderkidz--with profiles of all the women in the Bible (including many you may not have heard of!). It's an awesome Bible for girls 8-12--or for you too!
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Things Mentioned in the Podcast:

Download our Onesheet on The Excellent Wife
Our podcast on how Emerson Eggerichs misuses Scripture in Love & Respect
Marissa’s post on 10 reasons parents have a hard time giving up spanking
4 Concerns with Biblical Counseling

About Tia Levings:

Tia’s book, The Well-Trained Wife
Find Tia on Instagram and Substack (as The Anti-Fundamentalist)
Listen to last week’s podcast with Tia

About Marissa Burt:

Find Marissa on Instagram and X
Read Marissa’s Substack

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 244: A Well-Trained Wife with Tia Levings Aug 01, 2024

She went to a flagship SBC church. She wasn’t supposed to get sucked into fundamentalism. But Tia ended up being stuck in an abusive marriage, trying to fix things by following advice from Gothard and more. It made her sick. It made her hopeless. But finally she realized, no one else is going to rescue us. I have to do this for me and the kids. And she did. Her story is riveting, touching, and relevant. Listen to a Well-Trained Wife!

Our Sponsor:

It's the Bible that lets girls see themselves in the story! The Kingdom Girls Bible from Zonderkidz--with profiles of all the women in the Bible (including many you may not have heard of!). It's an awesome Bible for girls 8-12--or for you too!
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

About Tia Levings:

Tia’s book, The Well-Trained Wife
Find Tia on Instagram and Substack (as The Anti-Fundamentalist)

Things Mentioned in the Podcast:

Tia's reel on Fundie Baby Voice
The Dallas area pastors who have had to resign

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 243: Modesty vs. Vanity: Maybe We Need to Shift the Conversation! Jul 25, 2024

The evangelical church spends a lot of time giving modesty messages to girls. But we hardly ever talk about vanity--even though the Bible condemns it. Could it be that in all our talk about modesty, we're inadvertently promoting vanity? And perhaps we can't call out vanity, because our messages to boys essentially enable vanity. Join Rebecca and Sheila as we hash this one out!
With thanks to our sponsor:
If church was your place of deepest hurt, can you find peace and healing with Christ? Check out Ryan George's book Hurt and Healed by the Church

To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Things Mentioned in the Podcast:

Our book She Deserves Better
The Instagram channel HerCherch with all the cartoons
Our Orgasm Course and Libido Course
Our podcast looking at the long-term effects of the modesty message
Why is Dannah Gresh calling 8-year-old bellies intoxicating?
Our one-sheet on Lies Young Women Believe
The reel from Our Savior's Church
The side-by-side plagiarized apology from Josh Howerton

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 242: Spot the Propaganda and Logical Fallacies feat. Scott Coley Jul 18, 2024

Ever heard people say, "The Bible is crystal clear" or "if you don't believe that, you don't believe the Bible?" Quite often people equate their interpretation of the Bible with the Bible itself--with bad results. Today Scott Coley joins us to talk about his new book Ministers of Propaganda, and to look at how many evangelical leaders have used logical fallacies to keep themselves at the top of the power hierarchy. Plus let's look at how to get back to the way of Jesus!
With thanks to our sponsor:
If church was your place of deepest hurt, can you find peace and healing with Christ? Check out Ryan George's book Hurt and Healed by the Church

To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Things Mentioned in the Podcast:

Find Scott Coley's book Ministers of Propaganda
Find Scott on X
Check out The Great Sex Rescue Toolkit

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 241: Both Hurt and Healed by the Church Jul 11, 2024

What if the church hurt you terribly? Can you still heal? Today Ryan George joins us to talk about how his fundamentalist family covers up his father’s sexual abuse of others—and how Ryan eventually learned the truth and turned his father in. And then Ryan deconstructed so much of what he had been taught—and found the real Jesus. Join us as Ryan George talks about his book Hurt and Healed by the Church.

About Ryan's Book

Ryan’s book Hurt and Healed by the Church
Find all of Ryan's books

To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 240: Breaking Away from Christian Patriarchy (feat. Cait West) plus Why People Deconstruct Jul 04, 2024

What happens when your family gets sucked into fundamentalism, and your father insists on controlling your life, including who you will marry? You grow up under Christian patriarchy, and you experience serious emotional abuse. Today Cait West joins us to talk about her absolutely beautiful memoir Rift, about how and why she had to break free. Then Keith and I talk about why people are deconstructing, and why it’s so desperately important to listen to stories like Cait’s.
About Cait West:

Find Cait’s book Rift
Find Cait on Twitter and Threads

To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Things Mentioned in the Podcast:

Our post on 8 things to know about deconstruction
Our book The Great Sex Rescue
The Great Sex Rescue Toolkit to help people understand why certain teachings hurt people

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 239: Who Are Exvangelicals? feat. Sarah McCammon Jun 27, 2024

People who deconstruct are often accused of never believing in the first place, or of just wanting to sin. But those who deconstruct are often those who have been hurt the most by toxic teachings. Today Sarah McCammon joins us to talk about who are “ex-vangelicals”, and her own story of deconstruction. And then Keith and I talk about what it means to create a safe and just community that honors people’s fears, betrayals, and concerns.
About Sarah McCammon:

Find Sarah's book The Exvangelicals on Amazon
Follow Sarah on Substack

To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Things Mentioned in this Podcast:

Our book She Deserves Better
The Great Sex Rescue Toolkit to help people understand why certain teachings hurt people
Marg Mowczko's site analyzing the biblical passages pertaining to women
The saga of Robert Morris’ abuse, from Dee at Wartburg Watch who broke the story
Larry Linn’s Twitter thread about righteousness

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 238: The Problems with Lies Young Women Believe by Dannah Gresh and Nancy Wolgemuth Jun 20, 2024

Why is a frequenty-used book in teen girls' Bible studies focusing on Satan and not Jesus?
A deep dive into the book Lies Young Women Believe by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth and Dannah Gresh. Let's see what is being taught to teen girls--and why it's so problematic. We can do better, church!
Get our Downloadable One Sheet of the problems with the book Lies Young Women Believe:
Thanks to our sponsor, the book The Sex Talk You Never Got by Sam Jolman

And listen to our interview with Sam about the book!

To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Things Mentioned in this Podcast:

Our podcasts about the book Lies Women Believe: Part 1 and its treatment of abuse and Part 2 and its portrayal of God
Our downloadable onesheet about Lies Women Believe
Our book She Deserves Better
Our podcast going over the problems with how Dannah Gresh teaches about modesty
Why do women support modesty messages?
Dannah Gresh's submission quiz

About Johnna Harris

Follow her on Instagram and X, and find her podcast Bodies Behind the Bus

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 237: Do We Have to Frame All Dads as Heroes? Jun 13, 2024

Every Father’s Day, there’s a rallying cry in many conservative evangelical spaces that men are losing out and fathers are under attack. Where’s the truth in this? And what are the problems with talking about marriage like this? Plus we rewrite Harrison Butker’s commencement speech!
Thanks to our sponsor, the book The Sex Talk You Never Got by Sam Jolman

And listen to our interview with Sam about the book!

To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Things Mentioned in this Podcast:

Focus on the Family Broadcast, Finding the Hero in Your Husband (Part 1)
Harrison Butker Speech and Transcript
Our Bare Marriage podcast on the idea that women talk too much (put forward by Focus on the Family under James Dobson)
My post from last Father’s Day about framing your husband as the hero

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 236: The Sex Talk You Never Got with Sam Jolman Jun 06, 2024

What if purity culture didn’t just steal sexual health from women, but stole it from men too? What does it mean for a man to have healthy sexuality? Today licensed counselor Sam Jolman joins us for The Sex Talk You Never Got.
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Things Mentioned in the Podcast:

The Sex Talk You Never Got by Sam Jolman: https://amzn.to/4aRrShp

Find Sam on Instagram

The Boost Your Libido Course: https://baremarriage.com/boost-libido-course/

All about New River Fellowship Church:

Pastor Joey Willis, Lead Pastor at New River Fellowship in Hudson Oaks, Texas.

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 235: Wolves, Chimpanzees, and Deer: Let’s confront the Alpha Male Myth May 02, 2024

Evangelical conservatives too often portray masculinity as if men are supposed to be the “Alpha male”—aloof, emotionless, vying for control, and bullying. Today we look at how, even in nature, this concept of the Alpha Male has been overblown. And we present a better picture.
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Things mentioned in the podcast:

All about New River Fellowship Church

Pastor Joey Willis, Lead Pastor at New River Fellowship in Hudson Oaks, Texas.

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 234: Pastors’ Wives Spill the Tea on Church Life—and the search for authenticity and friendship Apr 25, 2024

Church is messy. Friendships are hard to find. Life in a fishbowl is awkward. But what if…it’s worth it? Such a great convo with Stephanie, Jessica, and Jenna about their new book Pastors’ Wives Tell All!
Whether you're a pastors' wife, or a female pastor yourself, living life in a fishbowl can be hard. We talk about parenting, marriage, and finding friends when you're in church ministry.

Things mentioned in the Podcast:

Pastors’ Wives Tell All: Pre-order Here

Get Your Preorder Bonuses

Find out everything that’s happening at their website

Follow Pastors’ Wives Tell All on Instagram

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 233: The Backlash from Those Defending Purity Culture feat. Zachary Wagner Apr 18, 2024

With the release of so many books critiquing purity culture, what has the backlash been like? Well, let’s talk about it with Zachary Wagner, the author of Non-Toxic Masculinity as we celebrate the one-year anniversary of the launch of She Deserves Better.
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

About Zachary Wagner:

Find Zachary's book Non-Toxic Masculinity
Find Zachary on Instagram

Things Mentioned in the Podcast:

Our book She Deserves Better!
Zachary's response to the review from Shane Morris on The Gospel Coalition
Bob and Dannah Gresh's appearance at Cedarville University
Information about Dannah calling 8-year-old's bellies intoxicating
Fred Stoeker's appearance on Focus on the Family
Matthew West's podcast discussing Modest is Hottest

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 232: When Submission "Cults" Groom for Abuse: One Woman's Story Apr 11, 2024

We've got such a compelling interview with Lauren Rose from Called to Peace Ministries. She's telling her story--and it's a mesmerizing one--of what happened as her family got more and more into the Bill Gothard movement (and she was eventually one of the ones he allegedly abused, and was part of the lawsuit).
But when you grow up feeling like your main role is to submit, are you even able to recognize abuse?
Lauren tells her story of being in an abusive marriage, and how she eventually realized something was wrong and came out of it.
(Also: at the beginning I quoted a Bible passage and said Matthew 18. I meant Matthew 15. Sorry!)
Our Sponsor:
The Kingdom Girls NIV Bible. Meet the women in God's story! Designed for girls, but honestly--it's awesome for every woman! And it makes a great Easter gift. The Bible includes beautiful photos and write-ups on every woman who is mentioned in Scripture. Finally, a Bible that highlights God's story for women.
View a sample of the Bible here!
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

About Lauren Rose and Called to Peace:

Called to Peace Ministries
Find Called to Peace on Facebook, including my interview on how Sexual Coercion is Domestic Abuse

Things Mentioned in the Podcast:

Our podcast with another Gothard Survivor, Emily Elizabeth
Our interview with Alyssa Wakefield, who grew up in a Gothard home and was groomed for abuse (Part 1, and Part 2).
Our podcast episode 229 with Jay Stringer about Josh Howerton's wedding night advice
My

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 231: Are We Saying that Wives Don't Have to Have Sex? Apr 04, 2024

When we talk about how God made sex to be mutual, intimate, and pleasurable for both, and how, if women don't want sex, the answer is to figure out why, we invariably get people saying, "so you think women don't have to have sex then?"
Today on the podcast we look at the 90% problem vs. the 10% problem. In 90% of cases where women don't want sex, there's a reason. Let's focus mostly on the 90%! But guess what? We actually talk about the 10% too!
Our Sponsor:
The book Forgiveness After Trauma. A victim-centered approach to what forgiveness looks like after betrayal. Rather than pressuring a victim to forgive, let's examine what Scripture says about lament, anger, accountability, and what reconciliation looks like. I was so, so blown away by this book, and saw things in Scripture I never saw before. Check out Susannah Griffith's story, and this amazing book.
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

The Products We Mentioned:

Things Mentioned in the Podcast:

Our podcast on obligation sex, and the post that goes along with it
The podcast where we discuss Emerson Eggerichs saying you can't tell if a woman is aroused--and a follow-up podcast going into more detail on how evangelical writers portray female orgasm
More podcasts on libido: 3 ways to talk about libido differences, and have we made sex into a yes space for men?

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 230: Why Evangelical Honeymoons Go So Badly feat. Jay Stringer Mar 28, 2024

Recently Texas SBC megachurch pastor Josh Howerton told brides that on the wedding night, they should "stand where he wants you to stand, wear what he wants you to wear, and do what he wants you to do." Sex was presented as something that HE has been waiting for his whole life, and that she has to provide. There was no emphasis on how she actually has greater need to be cared for sexually, if you're going to begin well, than he does. Jay Stringer joins us today to talk about how the conversation around sex often leads to couples starting off badly--and also allows men to not have to grow up or do the work of being mature, emotionally healthy people.
Our Sponsor:
The book Forgiveness After Trauma. A victim-centered approach to what forgiveness looks like after betrayal. Rather than pressuring a victim to forgive, let's examine what Scripture says about lament, anger, accountability, and what reconciliation looks like. I was so, so blown away by this book, and saw things in Scripture I never saw before. Check out Susannah Griffith's story, and this amazing book.
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

About Jay Stringer:

Check out Jay's book Unwanted
Find Jay on Instagram
Learn more about the upcoming Sexual Attachment Conference

Links We Mentioned:

Jay's first podcast with us on his book Unwanted
Our book The Great Sex Rescue, with the stats on vaginismus and sexual pain
Our books for engaged couples, The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex
Our podcast looking at Josh and Jana's Howerton's sex talk
The podcast showing how Josh Howerton plagiarizes in his sermons
The Orgasm Course

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 229: A Victim-Centered Approach to Forgiveness After Trauma Mar 21, 2024

Forgiveness is so often weaponized against victims in the church. But what does the Bible really say about forgiveness, especially when trauma is involved? How can we value our own mental health but also follow Jesus? This is a fascinating and healing conversation with Susannah Griffith, author of Forgiveness After Trauma.
Our Sponsor:
The Kingdom Girls NIV Bible. Meet the women in God's story! Designed for girls, but honestly--it's awesome for every woman! And it makes a great Easter gift. The Bible includes beautiful photos and write-ups on every woman who is mentioned in Scripture. Finally, a Bible that highlights God's story for women.
View a sample of the Bible here!
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Links We Mentioned:

Susannah Griffith’s book Forgiveness After Trauma
Find Susannah at her website

Future Speaking Events:
Belleville, ON: St. Thomas Anglican Church in Belleville, Ontario is throwing a party for us to celebrate The Great Sex Rescue and She Deserves Better! March 23, 2:30-4:30 pm. Q&A, crafts with toxic books, and more.
More information here.

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 228: How Our Stories Influence Our Marriage Choices feat. Natalie Hoffman Mar 14, 2024

Natalie Hoffman joins us today to talk about her INCREDIBLE memoir All the Scary Little Gods. Natalie escaped an abusive marriage, and now coaches other women in similar situations. In her memoir, she invites us to listen to the story from the point of view of Little Natalie, and using IFS (Internal Family Systems) to see it from all of her parts. And as we understand our stories, we make it so that we won't recreate the problems.
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Links We Mentioned:

Natalie Hoffman’s book All the Scary Little Gods
Natalie’s website Flying Free, and her Flying Free podcast
The first podcast Natalie did with me–how Christian books made me stay in an abusive marriage
Natalie joined us on our podcast about the book Lies Women Believe
Richard Schwartz' book No Bad Parts
Jenna Riemersma's book on IFS Altogether You

Future Speaking Events:
Belleville, ON: St. Thomas Anglican Church in Belleville, Ontario is throwing a party for us to celebrate The Great Sex Rescue and She Deserves Better! March 23, 2:30-4:30 pm. Q&A, crafts with toxic books, and more.
More information here.

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 227: Are We Creating a Strawman out of Complementarianism? We Respond to Critics Mar 07, 2024

So many people resist admitting that they are actually egalitarians, because they think they have to be complementarian--even if they don't act like it. Today Sheila and her husband Keith dissect the arguments that are often used to say "we're really complementarian"--even when they're objectively not. And we invite people instead to preach what they practice.
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Things Mentioned in the Podcast:

The Council for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood's statement
Our podcast with Nancy Pearcey where we explain how complementarians act as egalitarians
The interview with Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth and Robert Wolgemuth
The Great Sex Rescue, with our findings about decision-making
Rebecca Groothuis' article about equality
Jonathan Leeman's article (and video) about a husband's authority

Resources about the Biblical Argument for Equality:

Marg Mowczko's site--amazing short articles on virtually every bible passage about gender.
Our podcast with Philip Payne, and his book The Bible vs. Biblical Womanhood
Terran Williams' book How God Sees Women
Terran Williams' series refuting Mike Winger's videos
Julie Zine Coleman's book On Purpose

Future Speaking Events:
Grand Rapids, MI: Sheila and Rebecca will be at Calvin University on March 13 and 14 . March 13 at 4:30; March 13 at 7 pm for a panel discussion; and March 14 at 7 pm. More details here.
Bellevill

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 226: What We've Learned 3 Years After Great Sex Rescue Feb 29, 2024

The Great Sex Rescue turns 3 this week! And it's been a super eventful three years. So much has changed. So let's talk about the feedback we've had, what we've done since, what people are saying--and where we're going from here.
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
Or, for tax deductible donations in the U.S., support our Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch at our store, or any of our courses!

Things Mentioned in the Podcast:

The Great Sex Rescue! Learn more, or get it right from Amazon.
Our Healthy Sexuality Rubric where we scored the books we looked at for The Great Sex Rescue.
The Great Sex Rescue Toolkit to tell others about our findings
Our podcast where we discussed how the authors we critiqued had responded to The Great Sex Rescue.
The article on Julie Roys' site about Focus on the Family deleting comments on the Reel where Juli Slattery used our talking points.
Juli Slattery's reel on Focus on the Family's Instagram page
The Bodies Behind the Bus podcast where Joy tells her story about The Great Sex Rescue (we're near the end) (and here's part 2!)

Future Speaking Events:
Grand Rapids, MI: Sheila and Rebecca will be at Calvin University on March 13 and 14 . March 13 at 4:30; March 13 at 7 pm for a panel discussion; and March 14 at 7 pm. More details here.
Belleville, ON: St. Thomas Anglican Church in Belleville, Ontario is throwing a party for us to celebrate The Great Sex Rescue and She Deserves Better! We'll have blackout poetry crafts and other paper crafts to do with toxic books (bring them along!), a silent auction, a Q&A, and more. March 23, 2:30 - 5:00 pm. All welcome.

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 225: Do You Even Want This Kind of Marriage? Feb 22, 2024

Would our reaction to Christian marriage advice change if we realize how many people who write that advice are actually in abusive or destructive marriages? What if people in those marriages are more drawn to write marriage advice to process how they're feeling?
Today we look at two different women that Focus on the Family have held up to be emulated. One is a woman who has written prolifically for them, and when you look at her articles and what she reveals about her relationship, a TON of red flags are present. The other is a woman whose husband was jailed for domestic violence, but then she prayed, he repented, and now they lead Love & Respect seminars together. And Focus on the Family thinks this is a positive message.
Today Sheila Gregoire is joined by her husband Keith and by abuse educator Sarah McDugal.
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
Or, for tax deductible donations in the U.S., support our Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch at our store!

Things Mentioned in the Podcast:

The article in the Revealer about Elisabeth Elliot's marriage
My article detailing Focus on the Family's Facebook post praising the man who was jailed for domestic violence, as well as the letter I sent to Jim Daly
My article on TradWife influencers and my concern for them
Our podcast on Power of a Praying Wife
Our one sheet download on Love & Respect
Focus on the Family's article "It's the Little Things"
Our Open Letter to Focus on the Family

Find Sarah McDugal:

Follow Sarah on Facebook
Find her at Wilderness to Wild

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 224: Lies Women Believe Part 2: Is God a Monster? Feb 15, 2024

Lies Women Believe by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth taught concerning things about shame, trauma, and even what God is like. On today's podcast, we're joined by Becky Castle Miller, a doctoral student looking at emotions in the Bible, and Helen Blake, a licensed counselor in Sydney, Australia, to discuss some of the damaging teachings--and point us to a Jesus who understands and sympathizes with our struggles.
Things Mentioned in the Podcast:
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
Or, for tax deductible donations in the U.S., support our Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch at our store!

Our Downloadable Onesheet:
Download our One Sheet on Lies Women Believe, looking at the problems with the book
Other Things We Talked About:

Last week's podcast on Part 1 of Lies Women Believe
Find Becky Castle Miller on Instagram
Scot McKnight's book King Jesus Gospel

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 223: The Problems with Lies Women Believe by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth Feb 08, 2024

Lies Women Believe by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth is one of the most popular women’s bible study books used in churches across North America. But what does the book actually teach about marriage? About sex? About divorce and abuse? It’s scary, and today Gretchen Baskerville and Natalie Hoffman join host Sheila Wray Gregoire to analyze the harmful messages in Lies Women Believe.
Things Mentioned in the Podcast:
To Support Us:
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
Or, for tax deductible donations in the U.S., support our Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
Our Downloadable Onesheet:
Download our One Sheet on Lies Women Believe:
Natalie Hoffman's Information:
Natalie’s Podcast Flying Free, and her website
Natalie Hoffman’s book Is It Me: Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage
Gretchen Baskerville's Information:
Gretchen Baskerville’s site The Lifesaving Divorce:
Gretchen Baskerville’s YouTube channel:
Gretchen’s book The Lifesaving Divorce
Other Resources
Our podcast on The Power of a Praying Wife (featuring Gretchen):
Our podcast telling Natalie’s story:
Our book She Deserves Better, which deals with Nancy Leigh DeMoss’ book Lies Young Women Believe:

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 222: How Sex Is Like Chef Boyardee–and Other New Research Findings! Feb 01, 2024

Links to things mentioned:
First, support us!
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
Or, for tax deductible donations in the U.S., support our Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
Check out our Merch!
Our Resources
Sign up for Rebecca’s Friday emails
The Orgasm Course (there’s also an add-on for husbands)
She Deserves Better book
The Studies We Looked At:
Time Use and Feelings of Love
“Women Get Worse Sex: A Confound in the Explanation of Gender Differences in Sexuality
“Popular Psychology Through a Scientific Lens: Evaluating Love Languages From a Relationship Science Perspective”
“Gender Inequities in Household Labor Predict Lower Desire”,
How to Understand Statistics Podcast (and how statistics can be misused):
Want to be part of our research team?
If you're a grad student, prof, or other academic, check out our job opportunities to help with peer reviewed research papers:

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 221: Let Men Be Dads! Why Do So Many Evangelical Resources Portray Men as Pathetic Dads? Jan 25, 2024

Links to things mentioned:
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work https://patreon.com/baremarriage

Or, for tax deductible donations in the U.S., support our Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation: https://secure.qgiv.com/for/goodfruits

Check out our Merch–including our Love & Respect His & Her mugs: https://sheilawraygregoire.com/shop/his-hers-love-and-respect-ceramic-mugs/

Sign up for Rebecca’s Friday emails: http://eepurl.com/z0VFn

The Great Sex Rescue: https://baremarriage.com/great-sex-rescue/

The Good Guy’s Guide to Great Sex: https://baremarriage.com/good-girls-guys-guide-great-sex/

Gary’s article “Young Husband: It Might Not be Her; It Might be Her Situation” https://garythomas.com/2017/06/29/young-husband-might-not-might-situation/

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 220: Why is Emerson Eggerichs Afraid of Women Talking? A Deep Dive into Love & Respect Jan 18, 2024

Links to things mentioned:
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work https://patreon.com/baremarriage

Or, for tax deductible donations in the U.S., support our Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation: https://secure.qgiv.com/for/goodfruits

Check out our Merch–including our Love & Respect His & Her mugs: https://sheilawraygregoire.com/shop/his-hers-love-and-respect-ceramic-mugs/

Emerson Eggerichs’ reel where he talks about relationships https://www.instagram.com/reel/CxL4Lm6pDo7/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

Our summary of the issues with Love & Respect https://baremarriage.com/2023/01/summary-problems-love-and-respect-emerson-eggerichs/

Our Open Letter to Focus on the Family about Love & Respect https://baremarriage.com/2020/01/open-letter-focus-on-the-family-love-respect-emerson-eggerichs/

(All of our other posts are linked there)

Our podcast looking at the way he downplayed abuse in a sermon series at Houston First Baptist Church https://baremarriage.com/2021/03/podcast-on-emerson-eggerichs-gaslighting-emotional-abuse-victims-and-stop-seeing-women-as-dangerous/

Our look at how Emerson Eggerichs misuses Scripture in Love & Respect

https://baremarriage.com/2023/01/emerson-eggerichs-twists-scripture-love-respect/

The problems with hierarchy in marriage (Keith’s Danvers statement series) https://baremarriage.com/2023/06/danvers-statement-series-complementarian-problem-1-men-dominating-their-wives/

Check out Andrew Bauman’s Christian Counseling Center for Sexual Health and Trauma: https://christiancc.org/

Andrew J. Bauman’s website https://andrewjbauman.com, or follow him on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/AndrewJamesBauman

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 219: Let Men be Men - Because We Believe Men are Great! Jan 11, 2024

Links to things mentioned:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month, and get access to our Facbook group, unfiltered podcasts, and more!
Thanks to everyone who helped us reach our fundraising goal! You can give to our work and get tax deductible donations (within the United States) by donating to the Good Fruit Faith initiative of the Bosko Foundation.
Check out our Merch at our store, including our biblical womanhood and biblical manhood merch, our new Jezebel merch, and more!
Join our email list so you don't miss one of Rebecca's great Friday emails, or any chances to be in new surveys, etc.
Mark Gungor's clip about preferring a dog to a wife who talks to you
The Halo 3 study about female voiced players

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 218: Let’s Pivot to Healthy Churches feat. Scot McKnight & Laura Barringer Dec 14, 2023

Links to things mentioned:
Partner with us at Good Fruit Faith, an initiative of the Bosko Foundation, as we help impact future church leaders with our data and our message (tax receiptable within the U.S.): https://secure.qgiv.com/for/goodfruits

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month and get access to unfiltered podcasts! https://patreon.com/baremarriage

Find Scot McKnight and Laura Barringer’s book Pivot: https://amzn.to/3ToOKiV, along with their first book together A Church Called Tov: https://amzn.to/41nRsrd

Our first podcast together about their book A Church Called Tov: https://baremarriage.com/2021/04/podcast-a-church-called-tov-and-matthew-18/

Find Scot McKnight’s New Testament bible study series: https://amzn.to/46Zc5uW

Laura Barringer on Threads: https://www.threads.net/@lauraebarringer

Scot McKnight on Threads: https://www.threads.net/@scotandkris

Me on Threads! https://www.threads.net/@sheilagregoire

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 217: When Religion Hurts You feat. Laura Anderson Dec 07, 2023

Links to things mentioned:
Our marriage survey is still open! We’re looking for married couples to take it. https://baremarriage.com/grim

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month, and get access to our incredible Facebook group, unfiltered podcasts, and more! https://patreon.com/baremarriage

Help us raise $52,000 by Christmas to expand our reach and make inroads into academic circles! BOSKO LINK HERE

Laura Anderson’s book When Religion Hurts You https://amzn.to/3sB0Zhs

Find Laura on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drlauraeanderson/

Our Merch: order before December 10 to use it as Christmas gifts! https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/merchandise/

Our book She Deserves Better, outlining some of the trauma messages teen girls receive, and our book The Great Sex Rescue, outlining vaginismus as a potential trauma response

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 216: Perceived Autonomy vs. Actual Autonomy: It’s Okay to Say No to Controlling Church Spaces Nov 30, 2023

Things mentioned in this podcast:

Our survey link! Couples are invited to take our marriage survey (you take it individually and it’s confidential): https://baremarriage.com/grim

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month and help support our research and our work! https://patreon.com/baremarriage

Join our email list and get Rebecca’s awesome Friday emails as well as a roundup of our best posts and podcasts: http://eepurl.com/z0VFn

Sarah’s Wilderness to Wild program: https://wildernesstowild.com

No Eden Elsewhere blog talking about small group abuse at Watermark Church: https://noedenelsewhere.com/the-aftermath-stories-from-former-watermark-church-members/

Dee Parsons from The Wartburg Watch on why you shouldn’t sign a membership covenant: https://thewartburgwatch.com/2023/09/11/smart-christians-need-to-think-carefully-before-joining-a-church-with-a-membership-covenant-which-is-a-legal-contract/ and how to resign from a membership covenant: https://thewartburgwatch.com/permpage-how-to-resign-from-a-church-whether-or-not-you-are-under-church-discipline/

Our podcast with Naghmeh Panahi: https://baremarriage.com/2023/10/naghmeh-panahi-bullied-leaving-abusive-marriage-podcast/

Biblical Counseling post on 98 ways you can sign against your husband: https://baremarriage.com/2019/06/sinning-against-husband/

The consent form you sign for biblical counseling: https://baremarriage.com/2019/03/question-your-biblical-counsellor/

John MacArthur Sermon Clip: https://www.gty.org/library/sermons-library/70-54/bible-questions-and-answers-part-77

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 215: A Jesus-Centered Faith vs. Nationalism feat. Andrew Whitehead Nov 22, 2023

Links to things mentioned:
Take our marriage survey! We’re looking for couples to fill out our marriage survey: https://baremarriage.com/grim
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month and support our work, while getting access to our awesome Facebook community! https://patreon.com/baremarriage
Our Merch makes great Christmas gifts! Order before December 11 to guarantee delivery by Christmas: https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/merchandise/
Andrew Whitehead’s book American Idolatry: https://amzn.to/3SubmhI, and Andrew Whitehead’s book with Sam Perry, Taking Back America for God https://amzn.to/3FU84Ne
Join Andrew’s substack! https://andrewwhitehead.substack.com/
Follow Andrew on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/ndrewwhitehead/
Listen to Andrew’s 4 part series on Christian nationalism: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/american-idols/id1706355168
Our book (co-authored with Joanan Sawatsky) The Great Sex Rescue https://baremarriage.com/great-sex-rescue/

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 214: What if Momma Ain’t Happy? Why It’s Okay to Sweat the Small Stuff Nov 16, 2023

Links to things mentioned:
Our survey link! Couples are invited to take our marriage survey (you take it individually and it’s confidential):
https://baremarriage.com/grim/

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month and help support our research and our work! https://patreon.com/baremarriage

The article where you can find the Elisabeth Elliot quote on the essence of femininity: https://www.crossway.org/articles/the-essence-of-femininity/

Holly Furtick’s reel on being grumpy: https://www.instagram.com/reel/CtnHKVJOOOI/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

Holly Furtick’s reel on not fussing and just praying:

https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cm1oSdNBGB3/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

The study on why sweating the small stuff is important:

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/18361676/
Get help for religious OCD at NOCD.com -- Licensed therapists using evidence-based techniques.
https://nocd.com

John Gottman’s book The 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work:

https://amzn.to/3Mxzc8h

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 213: Stained Glass Ceilings: How the church does gender ft. Lisa Swartz Nov 09, 2023

Links to things mentioned:
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month and help support our research and our work! https://patreon.com/baremarriage

Lisa Weaver Swartz’ book Stained Glass Ceilings: https://amzn.to/3suzUfJ

A write-up of the amicus brief submitted on behalf of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary to deny victims the right to sue the organizations that failed to report and failed to protect: https://www.courier-journal.com/story/news/2023/10/27/southern-baptists-response-to-sex-abuse-in-kentucky/71343874007/

Our book She Deserves Better: https://baremarriage.com/she-deserves-better/

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 212: Do Women Really Initiate 70% of Divorces for Frivolous Reasons? Nov 02, 2023

Links to things mentioned:
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month and support our work and research, while getting access to our Facebook group, unfiltered podcast, merch discounts, and more! https://patreon.com/baremarriage

Sign up for our email list to hear about when our next study is out! http://eepurl.com/z0VFn
The study that people say claim 75% of women divorce for lack of commitment (it doesn't really say that): https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4012696/
The study on how men are six times more likely to leave when one spouse is diagnosed with a life-altering disease: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19645027/
She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes in the Sink: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/she-divorced-me-i-left-dishes-by-the-sink_b_9055288 Plus Matthew Fray's book This Is How Your Marriage Ends: https://amzn.to/45PSM6w
Caylee Cresta's Instagram channel about mental load and taking out the trash: https://www.instagram.com/reel/CrQx8-sMKL9/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
Check out our Boost Your Libido Course https://baremarriage.com/boost-libido-course/ and our Orgasm course: https://baremarriage.com/the-orgasm-course/
Check out our books The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex: https://baremarriage.com/good-girls-guys-guide-great-sex/
Check out The Great Sex Rescue https://baremarriage.com/great-sex-rescue/
The study that found that women do more housework the more they out-earn their husbands: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3028208/

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 211: Bullied for Leaving an Abusive Husband ft. Naghmeh Panahi Oct 26, 2023

Links to things mentioned:

Join our Patreon and get access to the best place on the internet! https://patreon.com/baremarriage
Check out our Domestic Violence Awareness Merch and our Breast Cancer Awareness Merch--20% of profits go to support charities involved in fighting DV and breast cancer: https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/limited-edition/
See Naghmeh's book I Didn't Survive: https://amzn.to/3MgUpmP
Listen to the audio of Franklin Graham confronting Naghmeh--and Naghmeh standing her ground on Scripture: (at the bottom of this post): https://julieroys.com/panahi-graham-bullied-salvage-savesaeed/
Read a synopsis of Naghmeh's story on the Roys Report: https://julieroys.com/panahi-graham-bullied-salvage-savesaeed/ or the Washington Post: https://www.washingtonpost.com/religion/2022/06/20/franklin-graham-domestic-abuse-abedini/

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 210: The Enneagram and Marriage ft. Christa Hardin Oct 19, 2023

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month, and get access to our amazing Facebook group and unfiltered Sheila & Rebecca!
https://patreon.com/baremarriage
Christa Hardin's new book The Enneagram in Marriage:
https://amzn.to/3SmZyxR
Christa's podcast The Enneagram and Marriage:
https://www.enneagraminyourmarriage.com/pod
Christa on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/enneagramandmarriage/
The study we analyzed:
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/jomf.12863
Our new Biblical Manhood Merch:
https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/biblical-manhood/

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 209: Why Don't Evangelical Sex Teachers Know What They Don't Know? Oct 12, 2023

Links to things mentioned:
Join our Patreon group for as little as $5 a month and be part of the most amazing place on the internet: https://patreon.com/baremarriage
Join our email list so that you'll be notified when I'm in your area--and so you don't miss any of Rebecca's amazing round-ups: http://eepurl.com/z0VFn
Kristin Kobes Du Mez' Twitter thread: https://twitter.com/kkdumez/status/1709746160120795295
Josh Howerton's sermon where the clip came from: https://subspla.sh/c7tmk53 (starting around timestamp 12:30)
Last week's podcast with Terran Williams on changing his mind and the impact on his family: https://baremarriage.com/2023/10/terran-williams-sets-out-to-prove-complementarianism/
Tim Little's bio at Faith Baptist Theological Seminary: https://faith.edu/faculty/dr-tim-little/
Gary Thomas' article where he misunderstands modern neuroscience: https://garythomasbooks.substack.com/p/every-mans-battle-yes-and-every-womans
Our podcast where Rebecca and Connor go over the meta-analysis on the differences between male and female brains: https://baremarriage.com/2021/09/pink-brains-blue-brains-gender-differences-neuroscience-podcast/ And the 2019 meta-analysis that we quoted from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6681749/ and the 2021 meta-analysis: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0149763421000804
Rachel Joy Welcher's review of Shannon Harris' memoir in Christianity Today: https://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2023/september-web-only/shannon-harris-woman-they-wanted-memoir-purity-culture.html
Check out our new Biblical Manhood Merch! https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/biblical-manhood/

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 208: What Happens When a Pastor Sets Out to Prove Complementarianism? ft. Terran Williams Oct 05, 2023

Links to things mentioned:
Join our Patreon and support our work for as little as $5 a month! https://patreon.com/baremarriage

Check out our new Biblical Manhood Merch! https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/biblical-manhood/

Terran Williams’ Book How God Sees Women: https://amzn.to/3PJjwQ2

Terran’s book What’s So Amazing About Scripture: https://amzn.to/3ROMSiZ

Terran’s series on Mike Winger’s videos on complementarianism/egalitarianism: https://terranwilliams.com/what-winger-presently-gets-wrong-egalitarian-silver-bullet-galatians-328/ (all of his articles are linked at the bottom of this one)

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 207: The Ultimate Anti 'Obligation Sex' Episode Sep 28, 2023

Links to things mentioned:
Join our Patreon! Support us for as little as $5 a month and get access to unfiltered podcasts, merch, and more! https://patreon.com/baremarriage

Check out our Biblical Womanhood merch, and our new Biblical Manhood merch!

https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/biblical-womanhood-collection-merchandise/

https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/be-a-biblical-woman-collection/

https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/biblical-manhood/

Our Great Sex Rescue Toolkit–to help talk to your pastor, small group leader, women’s ministry leader, or anybody about the issues with the obligation sex message (it’s Pay-What-You-Can):

https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product/great-sex-rescue-toolkit/

Our Obligation Sex Series that has run all month:

https://baremarriage.com/2023/09/10-things-obligation-sex/

Our 4-Step Plan to Rebuild after Obligation Sex:

https://baremarriage.com/2022/11/the-sex-recovery-series-4-point-plan-to-rebuild-your-sex-life/

10 Questions to Ask if Your Wife Doesn’t Want Sex:

https://baremarriage.com/2020/09/10-questions-for-husbands-to-ask-if-your-wife-doesnt-want-sex/

The Good Guy’s Guide to Great Sex–to help men especially get a more biblical, intimate view of what sex is supposed to be:

https://baremarriage.com/good-girls-guys-guide-great-sex/

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 206: A Deep Dive into 'For Women Only' by Shaunti Feldhahn ft. Meghan Tschanz + Devi Abraham Sep 21, 2023

Links to things mentioned:
Join our Patreon and support our research, plus hear me working through future posts and wondering what I should do next! https://patreon.com/baremarriage

Our summary of all the issues in this podcast, plus a downloadable one sheet! https://baremarriage.com/2023/09/review-of-the-problems-with-for-women-only-by-shaunti-feldhahn-with-download/

Our post that does a deep dive in the problematic survey questions that Shaunti Feldhahn asks:

https://baremarriage.com/2021/01/fixed-it-for-you-we-fix-a-survey-question-so-it-doesnt-enable-date-rape/

Find Meghan Tschanz’s podcast series on For Women Only: Part 1; Part 2; Part 3; Part 4

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bonus-episode-for-women-only-part-1/id1438368947?i=1000625676862

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/for-women-only-part-2/id1438368947?i=1000626549865

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/for-women-only-part-3/id1438368947?i=1000627185380

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/for-women-only-part-4/id1438368947?i=1000628046603

Follow Meghan on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/meghantschanz/

Devi Abraham’s podcast Where Do We Go From Here, including my latest episode with her!

https://wheredowegopod.com/

https://open.spotify.com/episode/18eiTmiHvMimq3Oog80lq1

Follow Devi on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/devi_writes/, and the Where Do We Go From Here on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wheredowegopod/

We take apart the “love and respect survey question at the end of this podcast:

https://baremarriage.com/2020/12/unconditional-respect-in-marriage-is-wrong-podcast/

Our book The Great Sex Rescue! It’s on MAJOR SALE in paperback on Amazon right now!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 205: Do Complementarian Men Make the Best Husbands? A response to Nancy Pearcey Sep 14, 2023

Links to things mentioned:
Join our Patreon and support our research for as little as $5 a month! https://patreon.com/baremarriage
Our op ed with Baptist News that goes over the points in this podcast: https://baptistnews.com/article/do-complementarian-men-do-better-a-response-to-nancy-pearcey/
Our initial article responding to Josh Howerton's claim that conservative evangelicals have the best sex and marriages

https://baptistnews.com/article/do-conservative-evangelicals-enjoy-better-sex-and-marriage-a-response-to-josh-howerton/

Our podcast going over these same points (for those who would rather listen!):

https://baremarriage.com/2022/04/podcast-do-christians-have-better-sex-lives-a-response-to-josh-howerton/

Leonardo Cruz' critique of how Nancy Pearcey handled history scholars https://leo-cruz.medium.com/nancy-pearcey-pt1-44f98c2a3602

Our book The Great Sex Rescue, based on our survey of 20,000 women https://baremarriage.com/great-sex-rescue/

The IFS report that showed that conservative highly religious men were far more likely to perpetrate intimate partner violence (p. 36):

https://ifstudies.org/ifs-admin/resources/reports/worldfamilymap-2019-051819.pdf

The book The Scandal of the Evangelical Mind

https://amzn.to/3r7BIe9

Check out our Biblical Manhood merch!

https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/biblical-manhood/

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 204: Untangling Toxic Teachings on Suffering ft. Rebecca Davis Sep 07, 2023

Links to things mentioned:

Get a FREE copy of Rebecca's new book, Untwisting the Scriptures #5 when it launches September 11! Just sign up for her FREE ebook now and you'll be notified on September 11! https://sendfox.com/heresthejoy
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month! Get exclusive access to our Facebook group, merch, and more perks! https://patreon.com/baremarriage
Sign up for our FREE webinar with Wendy Snyder from Fresh Start Family! Disciplining with Compassion, Connection, and Firm Kindness: https://freshstartfamilyonline.com/baremarriage/
My article that Rebecca Davis quotes in her book: https://baremarriage.com/2020/07/submission-debi-pearl-created-to-be-his-helpmeet-abuse
See Rebecca Davis' whole Untwisting Scriptures series: https://amzn.to/45B0HFA

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 203: Parenting without Yelling: Discipline & Kindness Can Go Together! ft. Wendy Snyder Aug 31, 2023

Links to things mentioned:
Sign up for our FREE webinar with Wendy from Fresh Start Family: September 14 at 1 pm EST (recording will be available): https://freshstartfamilyonline.com/baremarriage/

Check out last year's podcasts with Wendy: Part 1 and Part 2

https://baremarriage.com/2022/05/podcast-how-to-misuse-statistics-for-dummies/

https://baremarriage.com/2022/05/podcast-connection-not-punishment-a-better-way-to-parent-feat-wendy-snyder/

Find Wendy on Instagram!

https://www.instagram.com/freshstartwendy/

Join our AMAZING Patreon group--we're launching our book study in our Patreon community this month as a test run! https://patreon.com/baremarriage

Check out our Limited Edition Merch--it goes away the end of August! https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/limited-edition/

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 202: The Barbie Movie, South Korean Women, and the Evangelical Church Aug 24, 2023

Links to things mentioned:
Our Patreon! Join for as little as $5 a month and support our research while getting access to our awesome Facebook group!

https://patreon.com/baremarriage

Our Limited Edition Merch--it's only available until the end of the month! Check out these great beach towels:

https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/limited-edition/

And don't forget our Biblical Womanhood merch that's available year-round:

https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/be-a-biblical-woman-collection/

The Instagram Reel on Ken vs. Allan:

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CvNIHFxN86G/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

The Atlantic: The real reason South Korean women aren't having babies: https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2023/03/south-korea-fertility-rate-misogyny-feminism/673435/

The New York Times: Women in South Korea are on Strike Against Being Baby-Making Machines https://www.nytimes.com/2023/01/27/opinion/south-korea-fertility-rate-feminism.html

Carolyn Custis James' book Malestrom https://amzn.to/47HWqSh

Information on the Bechdel Test: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bechdel_test

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 201: What Does a Biblical Marriage Look Like? Aug 17, 2023

Links to things mentioned:

Our patreon! Join our exclusive, behind-the-scenes group and get extra access to Sheila, Rebecca, and Joanna for only $5 a month!
Our amazing Insulated Travel Mugs, that keep water super cold, and keep things hot, too! We've got them in a variety of designs, including Prayer and Tent Pegs, our She Deserves Better slogans, and our Biblical Womanhood Merch
N.T. Wright's book How God Became King, and Rachel Held Evans' book Inspired: Slaying Giants, Walking on Water, and Loving the Bible Again
The article from Desiring God that tells women to gaslight themselves
Our podcast on how Emerson Eggerichs misuses Scripture, and our post outlining the main ways in detail

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 200 Special! - Our "Brio Magazine Deep Dive" PJ Party! Jul 13, 2023

Links to things mentioned:
Join our Patreon and join our LIVE Brio magazine pajama party! https://patreon.com/baremarriage
Get our Great Sex Rescue Toolkit, to explain our findings to your friends: https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product/great-sex-rescue-toolkit/
See our She Should Know merch, based on She Deserves Better: https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/she-should-know-collection/
Check out our Limited Edition beach towels: https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/limited-edition/

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 199: Jane Austen, Pride & Prejudice, and Marriage Advice! Jul 06, 2023

Links to things mentioned:

Our Patreon! Support us for as little as $5 a month and get access to our amazing behind-the-scenes Facebook group, and more.
Our Great Sex Rescue Toolkit–help for you as you talk about healthy teachings to your friends and church

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 198: The 4 Ways Complementarian Marriages Can Go Wrong (Keith Takes on the Danvers Statement) Jun 29, 2023

Links to things mentioned:

Our Patreon! Support us for as little as $5 a month and get access to our amazing behind-the-scenes Facebook group, and more.
Our Great Sex Rescue Toolkit--help for you as you talk about healthy teachings to your friends and church https://baremarriage.com/toolkit/
Keith's Danvers Statement posts--Start here.
Emerson Eggerichs warns against wives following into sin (watch the first few video clips and see his emotional response)
Our Power of a Praying Wife podcast and download
The Gospel Coalition's Instagram Reel about men being passive
Our podcasts with Philip Payne: Part 1 and Part 2
Check out Marg Mowczko's amazing website
Why having the husband make the final decision can be a harmful shortcut

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 197: How The Power of a Praying Wife Can Go Horribly Wrong Jun 22, 2023

Links to things mentioned:

Join our Patreon! Support us for as little as $5 a month, and get exclusive access to our Facebook group--and even free merch!
A Synopsis of all the problems in Power of a Praying Wife--with an optional download
Gretchen Baskerville at the Life-Saving Divorce, and her book The Life-Saving Divorce. Follow her on Facebook and YouTube.
Gretchen's articles with info on the effect of divorce on kids; the ACE study; and more.
Sarah McDugal from Wilderness to Wild. Follow her on Facebook and Instagram and YouTube, or join her support groups.
Sarah's free online course to recognize red flags of abuse, plus a slew of resources to help identify abuse.
Sarah's article on how God honors free will: Happily (N)ever After, and Does God Say You Can't Divorce for Abuse?
Keith's series on the issues with the Danvers Statement

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 196: New Research on the Effects of Obligation Sex! (It's Bad...) Jun 15, 2023

Links to things mentioned:

Sign up for our FREE webinar on June 21!
https://us06web.zoom.us/webinar/register/WN_odcOvC0uTzugaA7JvnUe1w
Our book The Great Sex Rescue!
Join our Patreon and support our work for as little as $5 a month. Plus gain access to our exclusive Facebook group, exclusive merch, and more!
Our research methods for The Great Sex Rescue, with FAQs, and a Twitter thread analying our methods by someone we don't even know!
Article from The Journal for Sex Research on the motivations for sex and the effects of obligation sex
Article on the emotional work done by women during sex--The Other Third Shift? Women's Emotion Work in their Sexual Relationships

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 195: How To Support Your Wife in an Equal Relationship feat. Todd Korpi Jun 08, 2023

Links to things mentioned:

Our Patreon! Get free merch, access to our Facebook group, discounts on courses, and more!
Todd Korpi's book Your Daughters Shall Prophesy: Amplifying the Voice and Place of Christian Women (https://amzn.to/3MWkPtH)
Follow Todd on Twitter and Instagram
Our new "She Should Know" merch based on empowering sayings from our book, She Deserves Better

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 194: Male-Centric Sex vs. the Female Sexual Response Cycle Jun 01, 2023

Links to things mentioned:

Our Patreon community! It's super fun, and it helps fund our research! Join us for as little as $5 a month.
Our book The Great Sex Rescue, plus our two books that look into the sexual response cycle in detail: The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex.
Emerson Eggerichs: His podcast where the clips were taken from, plus the podcast where we analyzed his advice to the woman crying the shower; the post where we went into this in detail; and the podcast featuring the woman who wrote in to Eggerichs.
Dr. Laura Robinson's critiques of Beautiful Union. Here's Part 6 with links to everything (so go here, but then start at post 1 that is linked at the top and work your way through). In this podcast we focused on parts 3 and 4.
My original Twitter thread about the visceral reaction that women have to sex advice.
An article earlier this week about how pastors aren't necessarily the experts; lo

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 193: Tell Her Story: The Forgotten Women of the Bible with Nijay Gupta May 25, 2023

Links to things mentioned:

Our Patreon! Join us for as little as $5 a month, and get access to exclusive content while also supporting our research.
Nijay's new book Tell Her Story
Our podcast looking at how Emerson Eggerichs mishandles Scripture, featuring Nijay Gupta
The audio version of She Deserves Better is now available! https://amzn.to/43tbmkp
Our new She Deserves Better merch!
Amazon Prime's new series Shiny Happy People (coming June 2)

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 192: How 'Every Young Man's Battle' Makes Everything Worse ft. Andrew Bauman & Zachary Wagner May 18, 2023

Links to things mentioned:

Our Patreon! Support us for as little as $5 a month and join our exclusive Facebook group, plus help support our research!
Our new book She Deserves Better--the audio has now launched!
Our one-sheet download of the problems with Every Young Man's Battle
Our podcast with Zachary Wagner, his new book Non-Toxic Masculinity, and his Twitter
Andrew Bauman's book The Sexually Healthy Man and his Facebook
Our Whole Story puberty course to tell your kids about sex & puberty!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 191: Finding a Healthy Church with Beth Allison Barr May 11, 2023

Links to things mentioned:

Our Patreon! Support us for as little as $5 a month, and get access to our unfiltered podcasts and more. Your donations help support our next big survey coming this summer!
Our new book She Deserves Better
Beth Allison Barr's book The Making of Biblical Womanhood, plus follow Beth on Twitter
Our books that are awesome for couples about to get married--The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 190: 'Pink' and 'Blue' Faith -- Plus we take a submission quiz! ft. Aimee Byrd May 04, 2023

Links to things mentioned:

Our Patreon! Support us for as little as $5 a month and get access to our exclusive Facebook group, unfiltered podcasts, and more!
Our new book She Deserves Better!
Aimee Byrd's book Recovering from Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, and her new book The Sexual Reformation
Aimee Byrd's story of the bullying she went through in her denomination, and some more recent thoughts on the aftermath.
Take the submission quiz yourself! It starts on p. 30 of this download, but you can also find the "bellies are intoxicating" on p. 24.
The modesty podcast where we talked about the "bellies are intoxicating" statement.
Our Hazardous Materials stickers to put on books you're concerned about

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 189: Non-Toxic Masculinity ft. Zachary Wagner Apr 27, 2023

Links to things mentioned:

Our Patreon! Support us for as little as $5 a month and get access to our exclusive Facebook group, unfiltered podcasts, and more!
Our new book She Deserves Better!
Zachary Wagner's book Non-Toxic Masculinity, plus find Zachary on Twitter
Our Hazardous Materials stickers to put on books you're concerned about
The Instagram Reel from thatdarnchat

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 188: What We're Fighting For: A Glimpse 20 Years Down the Road Apr 20, 2023

Links to things mentioned:
Our new book She Deserves Better:
https://baremarriage.com/she-deserves-better/
Support us for as little as $5 a month, and get access to unfiltered podcasts, our exclusive Facebook group, and more. Join our Patreon!
https://patreon.com/baremarriage
The Instagram Reel from 247 Marriage:
https://www.instagram.com/reel/CnetOgDhM1S/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
The podcast where we discussed "Girls Talk Too Much":
https://baremarriage.com/2023/03/do-women-talk-more-than-men-podcast/
The podcast where we were talking about how boys had to be superheroes:
https://baremarriage.com/2023/04/podcast-on-nice-guy-syndrome-and-boundaries/
If you're going to pull something out of your butt, it's probably crap merch:
https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/out-your-butt/
Anti-Rape Raccoon Merch:
https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/rabid-racoon/
Other Merch:
https://sheilawraygregoire.com/shop/

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 187: 'Nice Guy' Syndrome & Drawing Boundaries: What Girls Need to Know Apr 13, 2023

THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST

Our new book She Deserves Better
Support us for as little as $5 a month, and get access to unfiltered podcasts, our exclusive Facebook group, and more. Join our Patreon!
Article on the problem with “Nice Guy” behavior when it’s rooted in entitlement
Our episode of Theology in the Raw with Preston Sprinkle (the interesting parts are from 30 minutes on)

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 186: Shame, DARVO & Spiritual Bypassing - Let's get to the bottom of it! ft. Jasmine Holmes Apr 06, 2023

Things mentioned in our Podcast!

Our Patreon! Thank you for supporting us and helping us fund our research. You can join us for as little as $5 a month!
Jasmine Holmes’ new book Never Cast Out! Plus find her on Instagram.
Jasmine on our podcast a few months ago talking about her book Carved in Ebony.
Our book She Deserves Better! Pre-order it and get access to our bonuses.

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 185: Trauma, EMDR, and 'Himpathy' ft. Jenna Mountain Mar 30, 2023

Links to things mentioned:

Our Patreon! Support us for as little as $5 a month!
Our new book She Deserves Better! Send in your pre-order receipts for lots of pre-order bonuses.
Study on Himpathy on what makes people sympathize with perpetrators rather than victims
Jenna Mountain's counseling center Aspen Haus

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 184: Why do WOMEN also push the Modesty Messages? plus Why Churches Need to Recognize Date Rape Mar 23, 2023

Links to things mentioned:

Pre-Order She Deserves Better and join our launch team! The Launch Team closes on Tuesday, March 28, so get your pre-order receipts in now!
Help support our research, plus get access to unfiltered podcasts, an amazing Facebook group, and more, by joining our Patreon
Last week's podcast where we looked at the problems with one of Shaunti Feldhahn's survey questions around modesty
A podcast where we walked through another issue with Shaunti Feldhahn's survey questions where she spreads rape culture myths, and a post that lays out her survey question that enables date rape

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 183: What Modesty Messages Did to Us Mar 16, 2023

THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST

She Deserves Better–our new book! Preorder on Amazon, or here are other places to get it (Baker Books has 40% off and free shipping within the U.S.!).
Join the launch team if you’re willing to write a review!
On Modesty: We shouldn’t sacrifice teens’ well-being for adult men’s comfort

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 182: 'Do Girls Talk Too Much?' Another claim that was made up Mar 09, 2023

Links to things mentioned:

Our book She Deserves Better! Pre-order it now (it helps us a ton), and then on Monday I'll give you information on how you can join the launch team.
Sign up for my email list so you don't miss out on joining the launch team
A study of gender differences in children and number of words spoken (hint, not much of a difference)
An article explaining the issue of faulty claims, and giving the results of a study inspired by these faulty claims.
The Mendelberg and Karpowitz study of gendered speech in mixed groups with decision-making

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 181: How Does Dating Affect Teens? Let's look at the data! Mar 02, 2023

Should we kiss dating good-bye? In purity culture, we made dating a sin. But what does the data actually say about how dating affects teen girls? In today's Bare Marriage podcast, we share our findings from our survey of 7000 women!
Things Mentioned in the Podcast:

Our new book She Deserves Better, which launches April 18! It helps us immensely when you pre-order!
Sign up for my email list to be notified about how you can join the launch team!
Our book The Great Sex Rescue
The University of Georgia study on teens who don’t date

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 180: Exodus Cry: What We Need to Know about Sex Trafficking Feb 23, 2023

Links to things mentioned:

Our Patreon that helps support our podcast! You can join for as little as $5 a month! There's unfiltered podcasts, our exclusive Facebook group (it's really active!), merch, and more!
Exodus Cry. Check out the organization and see what they're doing!
See how to get involved (it's easy!). Join the fight against PornHub, sign petitions, read their articles, and more!
Watch Exodus Cry's documentaries. They're so well done and hard hitting.
Follow Benjamin and Exodus Cry on Instagram!
Our podcast last week with the woman who was put under church discipline when she wanted to get to safety from marital rape.

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 179: Why Did a Church Put a Marital Rape Victim under Church Discipline? Feb 16, 2023

Today I want to tell you the story of an amazing woman who was the victim of her marriage AND her church that knew all the gory details, and yet chose to put her under discipline when she decided to end the marriage.
TRIGGER WARNING

In the first half of the podcast there is graphic descriptions of what her husband did to her. I did mention during the podcast when this was about to occur, so that people could fast forward if they chose to. But the description is horrendous. I wanted people to know what she was facing, and to understand her pastor knew this too.
NOTE ON NEURODIVERGENCE
Part of this woman’s story, she believes, is her husband’s lack of diagnosis for autism, which she believes contributed to his inability and unwillingness to see things from her perspective.

Plenty of autistic people are able to relate emotionally with their spouses, even if they do it in different ways. And they value connecting.

What is shared in this podcast is merely her story, and we understand that it is not the case with many neurodivergent people, who can have loving marriages.

THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST

Our new Fixed It for You Workbook! It’s selling so well, and it’s still on for just $4.99–until Monday!
The marital rape posts in our original series: The 2 kinds of rape; what to do if you’re a victim of marital rape; 5 next steps if you realize you’ve coerced your wife into sex
Kate Shellnutt’s article in Christianity Today about John MacArthur’s church’s further abuse of women, and Julie Roys’ account about Eileen Gray that broke the story.
My commentary from last week about the John MacArthur situation

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
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Episode 178: Fixing Conversations Together! ft. Ngina Otiende & Philip Payne Feb 09, 2023

Links to things mentioned:

Our Patreon! Our research relies on your support, and we're doing two huge new research projects this year. Join us on Patreon!
Ngina Otiende: https://intentionaltoday.com/ https://twitter.com/NginaOtiende
Philip Payne's new book The Bible vs. Biblical Womanhood (available for pre-order now!)
Other books by Philip Payne, including Man and Woman, One in Christ: An Exegetical and Theological Study of Paul's Letters, and Mutual by Design (where he has written a chapter on headship)
Philip Payne's Twitter

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
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And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
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Episode 177: The Bible vs. Biblical Womanhood ft Philip Payne Feb 02, 2023

Links to things mentioned:

Our Patreon! Our research relies on your support, and we're doing two huge new research projects this year. Join us on Patreon!
Philip Payne's new book The Bible vs. Biblical Womanhood (available for pre-order now!)
Other books by Philip Payne, including Man and Woman, One in Christ: An Exegetical and Theological Study of Paul's Letters, and Mutual by Design (where he has written a chapter on headship)
Philip Payne's Twitter

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
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Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 176: Bring Back 'Vanilla' Sex! Jan 26, 2023

Links to things mentioned:

Our Patreon! Support us for as little as $5 a month, and you can get access to our awesome Facebook group, our unfiltered podcasts, and more!
This is the LAST WEEK to get the ebook for The Great Sex Rescue for just $2.99! On February 1 it goes up to its regular price!
The Orgasm Course! If this is a struggle for you, we can help. https://baremarriage.com/the-orgasm-course/
Our new book She Deserves Better is out in April! You can pre-order it now.
My post Bring Back Vanilla Sex, that a lot of this podcast was based on.

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
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And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
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Episode 175: How Emerson Eggerichs Misuses Scripture in Love & Respect ft. Nijay Gupta Jan 19, 2023

Links to things mentioned:

Our Patreon! Support us for as little as $5 a month and get access to unfiltered podcasts, while supporting our work counteracting harmful messages of marriage in the evangelical church
OUR LOVE & RESPECT ONESHEET: Download our new resource
Nijay Gupta's upcoming book Tell Her Story. Follow Nijay on Twitter!
Our post on Baby Bibles distorting the Genesis account
Our original Love & Respect post, followed by our Open Letter to Focus on the Family, Our look at how Emerson Eggerichs gaslights women in a sermon series, and how he brushes off a case of marital rape.
Our rubric and scorecard to see why Love & Respect scored 0/48.

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Episode 174: Why You CAN Trust Your Emotions ft. Becky Castle Miller Jan 12, 2023

Links to things mentioned:
Patreon:
https://patreon.com/baremarriage

She Deserves Better (our new book coming in April; you can pre-order it now!)
https://amzn.to/3ZGFs2P

The Great Sex Rescue (on for just $2.39 on ebook this month, and the paperback is on sale too!)
https://amzn.to/3GV4aou

Becky Castle Miller
Website: https://www.beckycastlemiller.com/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/bcastlemiller

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@beckycastlemiller

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wholeemotion/

Marc Alan Schelske's podcast on emotional maturity:
https://baremarriage.com/2020/11/what-is-emotional-maturity-podcast/

Scot McKnight's and Becky Castle Miller's New Testament books:
https://amzn.to/3X3nB4l

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
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Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 173: The Strike at Putney: What Would Happen if Women Just Stopped? Jan 05, 2023

Links to things mentioned:

Our Patreon! Support our work for as little as $5 a month, including all the amazing things that are coming in 2023, including two new big surveys, one sheets of harmful books to give to your churches, and scholarships as others continue the research!
Our podcast on finding new church homes
The Strike at Putney by Lucy Maud Montgomery
Our podcast with Beth Allison Barr
The research study finding that churches with gender hierarchy produce worse health outcomes for women, plus a shorter article describing this research by Dr. Camden
Information on the Iceland’s Women’s Day Off
Pre-Order She Deserves Better–our new book out in April!
The Harvard study including what SBC men and women think of female pastors:
The top Bare Marriage podcast episodes from 2022
The Great Sex Rescue! It’s on sale in ebook form across all platforms for the month of January, at only $2.99, and it’s on for $5 off in paperback on Amazon, too!

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Episode 172: We Are Not Spiritually Homeless Anymore! A Personal Christmas Update Dec 22, 2022

THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST

Our Patreon! They’ve supported some amazing projects this year, and you can join us for as little as $5 a month!
The original podcast on feeling spiritually homeless
Last year’s update on feeling so disappointed by faith leaders (plus the podcast on how the authors we critiqued responded to The Great Sex Rescue)

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
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Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
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Episode 171: Identifying Spiritual Abuse and Trauma ft Dr. Foluso and Johnna Harris Dec 15, 2022

Links to things mentioned:
Our patreon community! Join for as little as $5 a month, and get access to our exclusive Facebook group, merch, and more!
https://patreon.com/baremarriage
The Bodies Behind the Bus podcast:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bodies-behind-the-bus/id1601586078
and Johnna Harris' Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/bbtbpod/
Me as a guest on the Bodies Behind the Bus podcast
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/guest-sheila-gregoire/id1601586078?i=1000555692110
Dr. Foluso's counseling practice
https://skillsetcounseling.com/
and Dr. Foluso's YouTube channel
https://www.youtube.com/@UC0ogPtE3KqsiLXngwEboM8A
Before you sign a church membership covenant:
https://noedenelsewhere.com/before-you-sign-what-you-need-to-know-about-membership-covenants/
How to resign from a membership covenant
http://thewartburgwatch.com/permpage-how-to-resign-from-a-church-whether-or-not-you-are-under-church-discipline/

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
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Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
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Episode 170: Does God Hate Divorce? plus The Women Carved in Ebony Dec 08, 2022

Links to things mentioned:

Our Patreon! Support us for as little as $5 a month, and get access to unfiltered podcasts, more merch, and an exclusive Facebook Group!
Our Merch! Makes great last minute Christmas gifts, and check out our Be a Biblical Woman or our Love & Respect collection, or even our new Fixed it For You!
Winston Bosch’s Sermons: What God Hates More than Divorce (Mal. 2:16): Jesus and Divorce; and Paul and Divorce
Jasmine Holmes’ book Carved in Ebony, plus find Jasmine on Instagram!
And, of course, here’s The Great Sex Rescue! It’s on for just $2.99 on Kindle right now!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 169: Learned Helplessness & Sex ft. Sam Tielemens Dec 01, 2022

Links to things mentioned:

Our Merch–mugs, t-shirts, canvas wall hangings and more that are great for Christmas gifts and stocking stuffers. Check out our Love & Respect collection, our Biblical Womanhood collection, and especially our Be a Biblical Woman collection!
Our Patreon–join for as little as $5 a month and help support our research!
A brief synopsis of the learned helplessness experiments with dogs, and then a run down on the learned helplessness experiment in the classroom. Plus you can watch a video of the classroom experiments here! (great to watch with teens).
Our orgasm course for women struggling with orgasm
Sam Tielemans’ couples counseling
Our upcoming book She Deserves Better–you can pre-order it now!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 168: The Myth of the Magical Penis Nov 17, 2022

Links to things mentioned:
Our Patreon: Support us for as little as $5 a month to help us branch out and continue this movement!
https://patreon.com/baremarriage
The Great Sex Rescue:
https://baremarriage.com/great-sex-rescue/
Our series on our 4 step recovery plan when sex has become a major issue:
https://baremarriage.com/2022/11/the-sex-recovery-series-4-point-plan-to-rebuild-your-sex-life/
One story on what recovery looks like:
https://baremarriage.com/2022/11/heres-what-recovery-from-sexual-problems-looks-like/
Article by Matthew Fray on Safety for Women:
https://matthewfray.com/2017/04/11/safety-and-trust-in-relationships-those-words-dont-mean-what-you-think-they-mean/
Article by XO Marriage on the Four Needs of a Man:
https://xomarriage.com/articles/the-four-major-needs-of-a-man/
Last week's podcast featuring Jay Stringer:
https://youtu.be/QWpfqtr7PK4
Our podcast looking at postpartum sexual favors:
https://baremarriage.com/2021/11/the-sexual-favors-postpartum-podcast-can-we-please-stop-being-selfish/
Nathaniel Jolly's take on rape (major trigger warning):
https://baremarriage.com/2022/08/rape-victims-deserve-life-nathaniel-jolly-preaches-death/

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 167: 'Unwanted' - Discovering our Route to Sexual Healing ft. Jay Stringer Nov 10, 2022

Links to things mentioned:
Our Patreon: Support us for as little as $5 a month to help us branch out and continue this movement!

https://patreon.com/baremarriage

The Great Sex Rescue:

https://baremarriage.com/great-sex-rescue/
Jay Stringer’s book Unwanted:
https://amzn.to/3DOvJgo
Jay’s website:
https://jay-stringer.com/
Jay’s Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/jay_stringer_/
Emily Nagoski’s book Come As You Are
https://amzn.to/3zYymvd

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
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Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 166: A Deep Dive into Ephesians 5 - Why Hierarchy in Marriage Doesn't Work Nov 03, 2022

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And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
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Episode 165: The 3 Types of Libido Oct 27, 2022

Links to things mentioned:

Our Patreon! Support where this blog is going for as little as $5 a month!
The Boost Your Libido Course and The Orgasm Course
The birth control series where we went over how some contraception methods MAY affect libido
How our hormones and our cycle affect libido
Our post on how the sexual debut affects libido later
Our post on how mental load and division of labor affects libido
Our Love AND Respect Merch

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
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Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 164: Scary Body Language & Telling on Yourself Oct 20, 2022

Links to things mentioned:
Our Patreon: https://patreon.com/baremarriage

The study on Who Cheats More: https://ifstudies.org/blog/who-cheats-more-the-demographics-of-cheating-in-america

The Dennis Prager Facebook Video: https://www.facebook.com/prageru/videos/868111834352628/

The Great Sex Rescue: https://baremarriage.com/great-sex-rescue/

The podcast with Alyssa Wakefield https://baremarriage.com/2022/06/groomed-for-an-abusive-arranged-marriage-alyssa-wakefields-story-podcast/

The podcast with Natalie Hoffman https://baremarriage.com/2022/09/podcast-how-christian-marriage-books-set-up-for-failure-with-natalie-hoffman/

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
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Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 163: Let's Talk Ogling and Dressing for Attention - Research Deep Dive Episode! Oct 13, 2022

Links to things mentioned:

See the study!
Want an easier way to read a summary of the study? Read yesterday's post.
Previous podcast: are men and women's brains really that different?
Previous podcast: Let's talk MODESTY.
Follow Meghan Tschanz on Instagram
Learn more about The Great Sex Rescue

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 162: Why We Need a New Standard for Healthy Teaching Today Oct 06, 2022

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And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
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Episode 161: Should Pastors be Expected to Give Sex Advice? Sep 29, 2022

Links to things mentioned:

Our Patreon! Support us for as little as $5 a month, and fund our ongoing projects
The Great Sex Rescue, our book that showed the issues with a lot of evangelical teaching about sex, based on our survey of 20,000 women
Our Merch: Check out our Be a Biblical Woman collection
The other times we've talked about Josh Howerton, specifically with Josh Howerton plagiarizing others; and Josh Howerton misrepresenting research.
Download our rubric of healthy sexuality teaching that we used to score the books--and this Instagram Live!
Listen in to the podcast where we talked about how other authors have responded to The Great Sex Rescue, including the Tim and Kathy Keller anecdote

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
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Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 160: How Marriage Advice can be Misdiagnosed Sep 22, 2022

Links to things mentioned:

Our Patreon! Our patrons have helped us have the time and flexibility to write She Deserves Better (out in April), along with the stats for The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex. Right now Joanna is working on two different peer-reviewed papers, and our next big project we'd like to fund is creating a database of good and bad books. You can support us for as little as $5 a month, and get behind-the-scenes access! Support us here.
Our Merch! Check out our merch, including our Be a Biblical Woman merch, and you'll help support us too!
Our Marriage Misdiagnosis Series. Start here, and then you can follow the links on the bottom of the posts for everything else.
Our rubric and scorecard of how the different books fared, including The Power of a Praying Wife.
My Instagram post of John Piper's horrible advice. Follow me there for more Fixed it For Yous!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
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Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 159: How Christian Marriage Books Set Me Up For Failure ft. Natalie Hoffman Sep 15, 2022

Links to things mentioned:
Natalie’s Flying Free site, and Natalie’s awesome Facebook Page, Instagram, and YouTube channel. Plus listen in to her podcast!
Natalie’s book “Is It Me”?
The terrible books Natalie mentioned: Our post about Created To Be His Helpmeet; Julie Anne Smith’s review of The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace
The book that helped Natalie: Leslie Vernick’s Emotionally Destructive Marriage
Patrick Weaver’s I Hate Divorce t-shirts
Patrick Weaver on the Malachi verse that is too often translated “God hates divorce”
My post on how marriage was made for us, not us for marriage
Support us on Patreon! Or check out our awesome merch!
Our Marriage Misdiagnosis series! My

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
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Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 158: Pastors Plagiarizing: An Example Using Josh Howerton--with Scot McKnight's commentary Sep 08, 2022

Should pastors be allowed to plagiarize in their sermons?
I’ll be frank: I think evangelicalism has a problem with celebrity, as we talked about on last week’s podcast. And I think plagiarism is part of that celebrity. It’s rampant among pastors and authors in evangelicalism, and it allows people to give a false sense of themselves to others to boost their status. It needs to stop.
Links to things mentioned:
Scot McKnight's book A Church Called TOV
Scot McKnight's New Testament Everyday Bible Study Series
Scot McKnight's previous podcast with us
Warren Throckmorton on Mark Driscoll's apparent plagiarism
David Dzimianski on Tim Keller's apparent plagiarism
Aaron New on Tim Clinton's history of Plagiarism
Christine Caine's plagiarism
Josh Howerton's Twitter Threads
Original Twitter Thread (long) about how plagiarism by pastors is fine
More recent Tweet about ethics of using someone's material without naming them if you disagree with them
Articles on Controversy with Josh Howerton and Andy Wood
Article Explaining Andy Wood controversy with Mark Driscoll
Andy Stanley's book The New Rules of Love, Sex and Dating
YouTube sermon where Andy Stanley goes over the central points of this book, which Josh Howerton seems to have used
(start at around 22:00)
Steven Furtick sermon with "two halves don't make a whole"
(start around 6:30)
Josh Howerton sermon where he says arguing with him is like arguing with God
(start around 12:20)

Note: The sermon we're referring to I originally saw because it was listed on this page. That sermon has since been removed. It is the only sermon from 2022 that can no longer be found on the Lakepointe Church site, on YouTube, and on their podcast archives. It was there a few weeks ago; it's now

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
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Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 157: Celebrities for Jesus -- Who should we follow? ft Katelyn Beaty Sep 01, 2022

Evangelicalism has a problem with celebrity culture.
I mean, everyone has a problem with celebrity culture. But it can be worse in the church because we’re supposed to put Jesus front and centre, and too oten we’re protecting celebrity and ignoring the way of Christ.
Links to things mentioned:

Our Patreon! Support us for as little as $5 a month and get access to an awesome Facebook group, unfiltered podcasts, and more. Or if you don’t want to support long term, considering leaving something in our tip jar!
Katelyn Beaty’s book Celebrities for Jesus! Plus find Katelyn on Twitter ! That’s where I got to know her.
Our evidence-based courses: The Orgasm Course and the Boost Your Libido course and the Honeymoon Prep Course!
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 156: How The Authors We Critiqued Responded to The Great Sex Rescue Aug 25, 2022

One of the most frequent questions I’ve had since The Great Sex Rescue was published has been: “Have any of the authors responded to your critiques?”
People want to know–has anyone owned their mistakes and made changes?
And the quick answer is no.
I wanted to have a central place where I can show you what the authors who HAVE said something have said.
And I need to say something.
This is a personal podcast.

Links to things mentioned:
The Great Sex Rescue
Download our rubric and scorecard!
The blog post where I include links for everything I talked about, plus write out the email we sent to Gary Thomas
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 155: The Rise of Lonely Men - Plus How to be Inspiring! Aug 18, 2022

We’ve got some wonderful inspiring stories to share with you today–plus a new research study with implications for dating.
Today Rebecca and I tell you about two modern day heroes, plus two young women using the gifts God gave them to try to change their world!
Then we analyze that Psychology Today article we told you about–the rise of lonely, single men. Listen in!
Links to things mentioned:
Patreon
Our Whole Story Sex & Puberty course
An article about Chief Theresa Kachimondoto
The All the Books YouTube video
The Rise of Lonely, Single Men
Pew Research Study they cite
Study on loneliness in men
Our emotional maturity series

To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 154: Katharine Bushnell: Another Hero you NEED to know ft. Kristen Kobes Du Mez + Julie Coleman Aug 11, 2022

Time for another hero of the faith! Well, three, actually!
This month we’re telling amazing stories of women that God used in history to fight against injustice and show that God values women. This week Kristin Kobes Du Mez, the author of Jesus and John Wayne, joins us to talk about her biography of Katharine Bushnell.
Links to things mentioned:
The New Gospel for Women: Katharine Bushnell and the Challenge of Christian Feminism
On Purpose: Understanding God's Freedom for Women Through Scripture by Julie Zine Coleman
The Great Sex Rescue
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 153: Josephine Butler: The Hero You Never knew Aug 04, 2022

Have you ever heard the name Josephine Butler?
If you were alive in London in 1880 you likely would have. In her time, she was as well-known as Florence Nightingale, but history has largely forgotten her.
Joanna and I sat down and read Josephine Butler: Patron Saint of Prostitutes, and discussed it today!
Links to things mentioned:

Josephine Butler, Patron Saint of Prostitutes (it's a great read for the summer!)
Join our Patreon and support the podcast transcription--and all the research we're doing!
Check out our merch!
If you haven't read The Great Sex Rescue yet, you need to. It seriously will change your life. And then buy it for a pastor or counselor you know!
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Do You Know What Your Wife Has Been Taught About Sex? (Rerun Summer Episode) Jul 28, 2022

What if your wife has been taught toxic things about sex–and you don’t even realize it?
Links to things mentioned:

The Great Sex Rescue: Our new book, that looks at how harmful some of these messages have been
Support our research by joining our Patreon group! Even for as little as $5 or $8 a month!
Our "Do All Men Struggle with Lust" podcast
Our open letter to Focus on the Family about Love & Respect (at the bottom of this post is links to all of the other things we've said about this book)
The study on complaining and maladaptive worry and status
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Duty Sex isn't Sexy! (Rerun Summer Episode) Jul 21, 2022

Links to things mentioned:
Andrew Bauman: https://andrewjbauman.com/

And his book The Sexually Healthy Man: https://amzn.to/3p4JmyF

Benjamin Young's Twitter Thread: https://twitter.com/BJYoung1990/status/1353521004073652224

Benjamin Young's ministry Guard the Gift: https://guardthegift.com/

The Great Sex Rescue: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/great-sex-rescue/

Our Previous Podcast on Marital Rape and Consent: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/04/podcast-marital-rape-consent/

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Can We Stop Talking About Girls Being Stumbling Blocks and Causing Men to Lust? (Rerun Summer Episode) Jul 14, 2022

Links to things mentioned:
The Blog: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com
4 Stages of Porn Recovery: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/04/4-stages-of-porn-recovery-what-porn-recovery-in-marriage-looks-like/
The Bell-curve Modesty Rule: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2019/03/new-look-at-christian-modesty-guidelines/
The Whole Story: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/the-whole-story/
The Great Sex Rescue: https://www.amazon.com/Great-Sex-Rescue-Recover-Intended/dp/1540900827
Andrew Bauman: https://andrewjbauman.com/

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Unconditional Respect is NOT a Thing! (Rerun Summer Episode) Jul 07, 2022

Unconditional respect isn’t a thing.
And yet we’re often told that men need unconditional respect, just like women need unconditional love.
Links to things mentioned:

Follow Sheila on Instagram: @sheilagregoire
Dr. Cynthia Long Westfall
Paul and Gender: Reclaiming the Apostle's Vision for Men and Women in Christ
The Great Sex Rescue
Psychology Today article

To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
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Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 152: What is Killing Women's Libido? Jun 30, 2022

We wrap up what can cause women’s libidos to plummet–and what men can do about it!
Because it isn’t always men’s fault (in fact, it’s often not). But guys can still be a big part of the solution. And if libido differences are a huge issue in your marriage, it doesn’t mean that there’s nothing that can be done.
Asking the hard questions can really help!

Links to things Mentioned in This Podcast:

The Great Sex Rescue
Our totally revamped Boost Your Libido course
Elora Dodd on Instagram , plus her Reel on Men’s Purity books and Women’s Purity Books
Our What’s Killing Women’s Libido series
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 151: Why John Piper Should Stop Speaking on Marriage -- and turning the other cheek! Jun 23, 2022

Recently John Piper had a podcast telling a woman how to deal with a “harsh” husband.
It was atrocious advice–especially since women in emotionally abusive relationships would listen to this advice and think that it pertained to them (since most women in abusive relationships would describe their husbands as harsh).
Links to things mentioned:
John Piper article on harsh husbands
Our original Facebook Live (expanded content from this podcast, extra 13 minutes on end)
Our article talking about John Piper and harsh husbands
Dr. Alison Cook on Turning the Other Cheek
Sign up for our emails!
Our Merch!
Gretchen Baskerville on the effect of divorce on kids if husbands are abusive
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
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Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 150: Escaping a Sex Cult: Alyssa Wakefield's Story Part 2 Jun 16, 2022

Let’s face the fact that fundamentalist Christianity in North America is basically a sex cult.
That’s Alyssa Wakefield’s conclusion in Part 2 of her story on the Bare Marriage podcast!
Links to things mentioned:
Part 1 of Alyssa's story
Wendy Snyder's FREE Parenting Workshop Registration
TraumaMAMAS app
Sarah McDugal:
Instagram
Facebook
Natalie Hoffman's book Is It Me?
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
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Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 149: Groomed for an Abusive Arranged Marriage: Alyssa Wakefield's Story Part 1 Jun 09, 2022

What if you grow up in what you now call a sex cult, and you marry because your dad told you to?
Did you really consent to that marriage? And how does it even happen in North America today that girls are being pushed into arranged marriages?
Today's podcast sounds more like one of those True Crime documentaries.
Links to things mentioned:
Our podcast on the Gothard movement with Emily Elizabeth Anderson
Our podcast on positive parenting with Wendy Snyder
Register for our free webinar with Wendy!
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 148: Is Sex a Yes Space For Men? And What Does That Do to a Woman's Libido? Jun 02, 2022

Have we made sex–and marriage–into a “Yes Space” for men?
And if so, how does this affect libido?
Links to things mentioned:
The Orgasm Course
Podcast where we talked about postpartum sex
Review of Married Sex
Mental Load Podcast

To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 147: The Porn Triage May 26, 2022

Can we have a nuanced discussion about porn and the likelihood of recovery?
One of our goals for what we do is to help people have “informed consent”–in other words, before they make a decision, they need to know all the facts. We can’t be afraid of data and evidence.
Links to things mentioned:
Find Sarah!
Trauma Mamas App
Sarah's full Noticing vs. Lusting video
Knix in the U.S.
Knix in Canada
The Great Sex Rescue
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 146: Let's Talk Attachments Styles and Marriage with guests Milan & Kay Yerkovich May 19, 2022

How do our attachment styles–or love styles–affect our marriage?
So often we think that our marriage problems are about communication, or habits, or normal conflicts. But what if they’re rooted in how we learned to connect with people?
Links to things mentioned:
Yerkovich's Website
How We Love
The Orgasm Course
Our Post on the 5 Love Styles
Knix in the U.S.
Knix in Canada
The Great Sex Rescue
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 145: Connection Not Punishment: A Better Way to Parent feat. Wendy Snyder May 12, 2022

What if discipline and spanking aren’t synonyms?
What if there was a much more effective way of disciplining your kids where you connect with their heart and it actually BUILDS your relationship?
Links to things mentioned:
Fresh Start Family Podcast
Episode 122
Episode 123
Wendy's site
Discipline Class
Strong Willed Kids help
Logical Discipline Planning Guide
Jesus the Gentle Parent
Heartfelt Discipline
The Mask You Live in Documentary
The Whole Story Puberty and Sex Course
Angry Me by Sandra Feder
Knix in the U.S.
Knix in Canada
The Great Sex Rescue
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 144: How To Misuse Statistics for Dummies - feat Wendy Snyder May 05, 2022

In the last of our three podcasts with Joanna where we talk stats, we tackle a few more ways that research is often handled poorly, using the research around spanking as one example.
And then we bring on Wendy Snyder from Fresh Start Families to talk about how to use discipline that connects with your child!
Links to things mentioned:
Find Wendy!
Our articles on Spanking Babies and the research on spanking
The Gershoff Meta-Analyses of Spanking
The problems with the book Love & Respect
The problems with how Focus on the Family talks about divorce and kids
Knix in the U.S.
Knix in Canada
The Great Sex Rescue
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 143: Do You Know Your Attachment Style? (Start Your Engines) Apr 28, 2022

Attachment research is the science of how we relate to others. We can all have different attachment styles, based on whether we’ve got insecure attachment or secure attachment with our primary caregivers or loved ones (or even God!)

Links to things mentioned:
Knix in the U.S.
Knix in Canada
The Great Sex Rescue
Attachment Theory in Religion, Current Opinions in Psychology (2021)
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 142: No, Christians Don't Always have Better Marriages and Sex Lives--a response to Josh Howerton Apr 21, 2022

Last month Josh Howerton, lead pastor at Lakepointe Church in Dallas, wrote a Twitter thread sharing research with 5 reasons Christians are doing better than the media gives us credit for. Matt Chandler, head of The Acts29 Network and lead pastor at The Village Church, retweeted it.
The problem? The research he uses doesn’t say what he says it says.
Links to things mentioned:
Josh Howerton's article
The Institute for Family Studies report that he references
Knix in Canada
The Great Sex Rescue
The Gilad study that found that religious women had difficulties with domestic violence
The Life Saving Divorce analyzing what the Institute for Family Studies found about religiosity and abuse
The Whole Story Sex and Puberty course for parents and preteens
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 141: The Most Misunderstood Women in the Bible - and Research! ft Mary DeMuth Apr 14, 2022

We misunderstand women in the Bible–and we misunderstand gender aspects of research!
Links to things mentioned:
Mary DeMuth
The Most Misunderstood Women of the Bible
Our podcast on the problems with the original Love & Respect question:
The podcast with the problems with For Young Women Only’s question on 82% of boys going too far, and our post fixing that question
The Podcast exploring the problems with misusing neuroscience research
The Great Sex Rescue
Here is the link with Knix.com
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 140: A Victim of Bill Gothard's Story: Escaping a Cult & Finding Freedom with Emily Elizabeth Anderson Apr 07, 2022

Today Emily Elizabeth Anderson from Thriving Forward joins us to tell her story, and to tell what she’s passionate about now. And especially how she found the actual Jesus after she left what she now sees as a cult.
Links to things mentioned:
Emily's blog Thriving Forward
Emily on Facebook
Stories about the lawsuit against Bill Gothard:
New charges allege religious leader, who has ties to the Duggars, sexually abused women
Where’s Justice For Bill Gothard and IBLP’s Victims?
Knix.com and Knix.ca
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 139: How Many Men Are Sexually Safe? Mar 31, 2022

We talked about the findings from our survey, as described in this post last week on how many Christian guys are sexually safe.
Links to things mentioned:
Keith's post
The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex
The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex

To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 138: Echoes of Menstruation (...really, Focus on the Family?!) Mar 24, 2022

Rebecca noticed that in Focus on the Family’s PluggedIn movie review for Turning Red, they had put references to menstruation under “sexual content”, including cramps and pads. And they warned that some people may hear an “echo of menstruation” in the title of the film.
Links to things mentioned:
Side by side screenshot of original review and edited review
Current review of Turning Red
The Whole Story Puberty Course
Our Period Series
Kyle Howard on Twitter

To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
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Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 137: New Research Blows Away the Evangelical Idea About Lust Mar 17, 2022

We saved some of our most important findings from our men’s survey for this special podcast!
Andrew Bauman, a licensed counselor and author of the new book How Not to Be an *ss, and Carl Thomas, who runs xxxchurch.com, come on to talk about our new stats. And then Keith and I tackled two reader questions about libido issues!
Links to things mentioned:
The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex
Our patreon! Support us for as little as $5 a month and get access to our exclusive Facebook Group
Andrew Bauman
Carl Thomas
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 136: The Uncomfortable Truth About Waiting for Marriage for Sex Mar 10, 2022

Does waiting for marriage really guarantee a great sex life? Sheila, Rebecca, and Keith weigh in on this week's podcast!
Links to things mentioned:
Our patreon! Suport us for as little as $5 a month and get access to our exclusive Facebook Group
The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex and the all new Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
The podcast on the Sexual Response Cycle
This week's post on vaginismus and wedding night sex
Here is the link with Knix.com

To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 135: How Much Sex Have We Rescued? Plus, Elizabeth Fisher Good! Mar 03, 2022

It’s the one year anniversary since The Great Sex Rescue was published!
Rebecca and I want to talk about what we’ve rescued and how it’s been rescued–plus Elizabeth Fisher Good joins us to talk about fighting sex trafficking.
Links to things mentioned:
Please use these affiliate links if you're interested in trying Knix!
Knix.com
Elizabeth Fisher Good
The Great Sex Rescue
Articles this week about men and how the teachings affected them:
How Can Men Fix Their Sex Lives if They've Gone Downhill
Who Believed the Toxic Sex Teachings More: Husband or Wife?
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 134: What Guys Can Do If They've Messed Up Feb 24, 2022

Because our church culture teaches guys that they need sex the way newborn babies need to be fed in the middle of the night or the way an invalid needs water brought to them, men often don’t realize that they are being the selfish ones. They’re taught this is an absolute need they have, a life and death need, and so if she doesn’t want sex, that must mean she’s being selfish.
Links to things mentioned:
When Shame Gets Real by Carl Thomas
XXX Church
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
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Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 133: Birth Control & Lust Control Feb 17, 2022

Special thank you to our guest Patrick Weaver for joining us today! We look forward to having him on the podcast again in the future!
Links to things mentioned:

Our Patreon! Support us for as little as $5 a month and help us get our research into peer reviewed journals. Plus you can join our rocking Facebook group and get unfiltered podcasts!
The Good Guy’s Guide to Great Sex and The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex
Our original birth control series plus the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility
Patrick Weaver’s Facebook Page and his Instagram
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 132: All About the Sexual Response Cycle Feb 10, 2022

Too many people don’t understand the sexual response cycle–so let’s spell it out and figure out why this lack of info has become so prevalent in evangelicalism!
Links to things mentioned:

The Intimately Us app!
The podcast where we dissected Emerson Eggerichs’ reply to the woman crying in the shower; and the podcast where the woman crying in the shower responds
The Dunning Kruger Effect: Article 1 and Article 2
The Good Guy’s and The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
The 990 Tax Forms for Emerson Eggerichs’ non-profit for 2019
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 131: The woman who was crying in the shower is here! Feb 03, 2022

We are so honoured to have on the podcast today the woman who wrote that letter we discussed back in episode 129. She joins us to share her story, give some updates, and shed some light on what toxic teachings in practice actually resulted in.
Links to things mentioned:
The Intimately Us App! Download the free version right now–and there are special sexy challenges for Valentine’s Day!
CT Article about Domestic Violence in Brazil
Podcast about Emerson Eggerichs

To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 130: It's Time to Jump out of the Boiling Water Jan 27, 2022

At what point do we realize that something is terribly off with the way the evangelical church sees women?
Keith talks about his manifesto from yesterday and encourages men to see what is happening and jump out of the boiling water.
Links to things mentioned:
Research study about remarriage after divorce
Great Sex Rescue
Keith's article on the boiling water
Owen Strachan's tweet

To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 129: The Podcast Where Emerson Ignores Marital Rape Jan 20, 2022

Our wonderful sponsor the Intimately Us app! A-so-much-more-than-foreplay app. Helps you communicate about sex, have awesome bedroom games, discover what you like (and communicate about it), and more! Clean and totally non-creepy too.
Our Patreon--support us for as little as $5 a month and get access to unfiltered podcasts and help support our research!
Connor's post detailing all our problems with Emerson Eggerichs' podcast episode
Our Open Letter to Focus on the Family about Emerson Eggerichs and Love & Respect
Our original series about Love & Respect
Pre-order The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex and the new and revamped Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex--with tons of detail about the sexual response cycle (and, no, housework is not an element of the sexual response cycle, Emerson Eggerichs).
The Great Sex Rescue--the book we were inspired to write when we saw how toxic Love & Respect was
Our Love AND Respect merchandise (mugs, stickers, tote bags, T-shirts, and more--because healthy people need both love AND respect).
Our Duty Sex isn't Sexy podcast, all about obligation sex and marital rape

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 128: How YOU Can Make the Church a Healthier Place for Marriage Jan 13, 2022

Should you stay in such a church? Some people should, because the church is changing, and you feel called to be a “missionary” of sorts there. But maybe more should leave. I know I stayed too long, and Rebecca shares some passionate thoughts about her opinion on going to a church “because it has a good kids’ program” or “because it has a good youth program.”
Links to things mentioned:
Open Letter to Focus on the Family about Love & Respect
Download our scorecard and rubric for how we scored the books
Ngina Otiende's blog, Intentional Today
My post about Christopher
The Great Sex Rescue
Lucy Maud Montgomery’s short story The Strike at Putney
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 127: Putting the 'Christ' back in Christian Marriage Jan 06, 2022

Welcome to a new year with the Bare Marriage podcast! We're glad you're joining us again after our break for the holidays!
Links to things mentioned:
Scott Coley Tweet
The Great Sex Rescue
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 126: The Disease That Must Be Named + feeling less homeless! Dec 16, 2021

Today on the podcast we hear Rachel Perry’s story of vaginismus, and then I get cozy in my yellow chair where I work and just tell you how I see the Christmas story interacting with our own (and yours!).
Links to things mentioned:
The Emotional Journey with Vaginismus
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 125: Why is Marriage Advice Mostly Aimed at Women? Dec 10, 2021

Ever noticed that most marriage books center the majority of their advice on women?
And most instructions for how to get marriages to change focus on what women can do differently.
Links to things mentioned:
Our sponsor Femallay!
Become a patreon and support us for as little as $5 a month!
Our New Merch! Check out all of our merch, and our Be a Biblical Woman collection
Nicole Parker's Tales of Exodus book series
The Great Sex Rescue
Our Mental Load and Emotional Labor series
How Christian Resources teach women to be passive aggressive
Barbara Rainey's article on spiritual leadership
Our FREE Video Book Study for The Great Sex Rescue
Dora on TikTok about raising orphans
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 124: Does Your Vagina Have a Brain? The Mind-Body Connection Dec 02, 2021

How do we live our feelings through our bodies? How do we learn to inhabit our bodies more? Join us as Rebecca and I jumpstart this series, and then Keith and I get all scientific about arousal non-concordance and mindfulness!
Links to things mentioned:

Our wonderful sponsor Femallay. Check out their vaginal melts, and their innovative menstrual cups that allow you to empty them while they're still inserted.
The Great Sex Rescue!
The Orgasm Course
Post on Arousal Non-Accordance
And be sure to sign up for our Tea and Tent Pegs webinar that goes live December 6!

To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 123: Let's talk Sexual Favours Postpartum Nov 25, 2021

Rebecca’s postpartum! So we thought it was the perfect time to look at the postpartum advice given in evangelical circles to women.
Links to things mentioned:

Our wonderful sponsor Femallay. Check out their vaginal melts, and their innovative menstrual cups that allow you to empty them while they're still inserted.
The Great Sex Rescue! Especially chapter 11 where we talk about postpartum sex and the advice given to women
The Italian study Keith and I referenced
The Facebook post where women shared their stories
Our previous posts on postpartum sexual favors and the podcast Rebecca and Joanna did about resuming sex postpartum

To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 122: The Making of Biblical Womanhood ft Beth Allison Barr Nov 18, 2021

The amazing Beth Allison Barr is joining me today to talk about women and the history of the church.
It seems like people who buy The Great Sex Rescue really like Beth’s book–and they really like Kristin Kobes Du Mez’s book too (and she was on the podcast earlier this year!).
Links to things mentioned:
Link to the Webinar with Sheila, Kristin, and Beth!
The Making of Biblical Womanhood
L. M. M. story mentioned
Check out our sponsor, Femallay!

To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 121: Finding Your Own Path ft hosts of NeuroDiverse Christian Couples Podcast Nov 11, 2021

We’ve got two different segments on today’s podcast, both regarding what it means to make your own way as a couple:
Another look at how to read science–and what it SHOULDN’T be used for
and a visit with Stephanie and Dan Holmes, the hosts of the Neurodivergent Christian Marriages podcast!
Links to things mentioned here:
Dan and Stephanie's podcast
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 120: Why Too Many Can't Let Go of the 'Obligation Sex' Message Nov 04, 2021

What if the reason authors can’t give up the obligation sex message is that they fear women won’t have sex otherwise?
Links to things mentioned:

Femallay! We love what they're doing to help women experience more pleasure and more comfort in our own bodies. Please check them out.
The Great Sex Rescue!
The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex
Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex!
Amie Latta's counseling and coaching practice
Our podcast where we talked about neuroscience research
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Start Your Engines Ep. 17: How To Be Sex Positive Without Being Creepy Oct 28, 2021

We try to show how men and women may approach sex information differently.
And how there’s a serious creepy factor for many women that we all need to understand a little bit better!

Thanks to our sponsor Femallay! Check out their vaginal melts, and my post on how your vagina changes as you age
The Great Sex Rescue–Chapters 5 and 6 cover the lust issue and porn issue, and try to do so in a non-shaming way, focused on actual research
Our Sexy Dares
The Intimately Us App
Our Orgasm Course
Keith’s post on sexually confident men
Our podcast with Marc Alan Schelske about emotional maturity
Andrew Bauman’s post about the pornographic style of relating
Today's Blog Post
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 118: What Are Christian Resources NOT Telling You About Abuse? ft. Gretchen Baskerville Oct 21, 2021

We are thrilled to have a wonderful guest joining us this week! We hope you enjoy Sheila's conversation with author Gretchen Baskerville, as they discuss some extremely important points we need to include in our conversations around divorce in the Christian church.
Links to things mentioned:
The blog post that goes along with this podcast
Gretchen Baskerville's Site
Gretchen's book The Lifesaving Divorce
Gretchen's article on the 12 Half Truths in Focus on the Family's Article about Divorce and Kids
Gretchen's Video on Love & Respect
My Open Letter to Focus on the Family about Love & Respect
Gretchen's Social Media:

To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 117: All about BOOBS! Oct 14, 2021

We have a VERY special guest joining later today! For the first time ever we have Sheila's mother, Elizabeth, here to share all her wisdom! We hope you enjoy today's episode all about boobs, and breast cancer awareness!
Links to things mentioned:
Link for breast self-exam
Married Sex on Amazon--many of the reviews refer to the breast problem
Femallay
Our puberty course The Whole Story
Post on Developing Bust Early
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 116: Why Teenagers SHOULD know lots about Sex! Oct 07, 2021

For this special edition of the Bare Marriage Podcast we created an episode that you can listen to WITH your teenagers! Rebecca and Connor walk through their own 'Sex-Ed' experiences, and discuss how they plan to talk to their own children about sex and sexual health one day.
We hope this episode can be a great jumping off point for important parent/teenager conversations that may happen throughout these teen years, to help you equip your children in making wise decisions as they go through high school.
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 115: Are 'Pink Brains' and 'Blue Brains' Real? Sep 30, 2021

Today it's Rebecca and Connor coming to you, to discuss some neuropsychology! We know, it's a lot, but bare with us! We hope you enjoy this ramble through some statistical and psychological studies that can give us all a clearer picture on how we should be talking about the differences between men and women's brains.
Links to things mentioned:
Check out Femallay's products
2021 Meta-analysis of gender differences in the brain
2019 Meta-analysis of gender differences in neural responses to sexual stimuli
Critiques of Brizendine's work that have been available for over 10 years
Nature Article on the Female Brain

To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 114: Life Hacks to Help Know Which Christian Book are Toxic Sep 23, 2021

Many of you have asked for a step by step guide to clarify how to gauge whether a book is harmful or helpful. So today, we thought we'd do just that, and help walk everyone through the process we use when critiquing Christian resources we see being used today.
We'd also like to thank our guest Neil Schori for joining us today with such a wonderful discussion on how to talk to pastors about the harm found in resources. We can't wait to have him back on the podcast again soon!
Links to things mentioned:

Sign up for our email list!
Our big post on the two tests for whether or not a speaker or resource is safe
The Great Sex Rescue
Find Neil Schori on Twitter, and join his Facebook Page for his spiritual direction and domestic violence prevention ministry
Our Open Letter to Focus on the Family about Love & Respect
Our Rubric for Healthy Sexuality Teaching--and our report of our findings from The Great Sex Rescue (you can download both at the same place)

To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 113: Are You Doing Sex on Hard Mode? Sep 16, 2021

We are thrilled to bring you another weekly edition of the Bare Marriage podcast, with a special guest appearance by friend of the show Andrew Bauman for a short segment today. Please remember to read the blog post that accompanies this podcast for more context into the topics we discussed.

Links to things mentioned:

The Great Sex Rescue
Join our email list!
Andrew Bauman's website, his article on the pornographic style of relating, and his book The Psychology of Porn
Your Sexually Addicted Spouse by Barbara Steffens--has information about betrayal trauma
Gary Thomas' article "My spouse can't cure me, but can help me"
2 Hour Facebook Live with betrayal trauma experts talking about the problems with the idea that more sex can help his porn addiction
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 112: You're Supposed to be a TEAM! Sep 09, 2021

Thank you to our lovely guest Micah for joining us today! You can find her online here.
Links to other things mentioned:
On Elisabeth Elliot’s Terrible Courtship–and Dating Men “Sold Out for Jesus”
The Most Fun FREE Book Study Ever–The Great Sex Rescue! (with video)
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 111: Are We Making Christian Marriage Harder Than It Needs To Be? Sep 02, 2021

Join us this week as we discuss the idea of how our expectations of marriage highly affect how we experience it-- and how expectations might not always be the problem! And thank you again to Bruce for joining us today for another deep dive into scripture!
Links to things mentioned:
Find more from Bruce on his website
Camden's article
Original study about health effects of churches where women aren't in leadership positions
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Why Do Christian Books Make Men Sound So Fragile?! - Start Your Engines Ep. 19 Aug 26, 2021

We have the guys back for today's 'Men's Edition' of the podcast!
And thank you to Michael John Cusick for joining us today for our Reader Question!
Links to things mentioned:
Michael John Cusick
Restoring the Soul Podcast
Our Direct Communication Series (check out the links at the bottom for all of the posts)
The Research on Cognitive Labor
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 109: A Journey of Faith (Special BTS look at our 'Unfiltered Podcast!) Aug 19, 2021

This week we're bringing you something different. This 'unfiltered podcast' that aired with our Patrons in July was an episode that we ended up feeling was worth being shared on a larger scale. We hope you enjoy this honest, vulnerable look into Rebecca and Joanna's faith thought processes, and that it may spark some discussion for yourself.
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 108: Direct Communication 101 Aug 12, 2021

This week's episode is ALL about communicating! Both with our spouses, and with our kids!
Links to things mentioned:

Brett Ullman's website where he collates amazing parenting stuff, plus his book Parenting: Navigating Everything
The Great Sex Rescue
Our Direct Communication Series: Why it's hard; what direct communication looks like; why it's not mean; why women struggle with it; why men struggle with it.
How to Eliminate Nagging for Good (from our Emotional Labor and Mental Load series)
Subscribe to our emails

To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 107: Sex and the Sixth Reformation (Or Fourth. Or Second?) Aug 05, 2021

Aaaaand we're back! Thank you for all being gracious while we took a much needed one-month break in July.
Links to things mentioned:

Subscribe to the email list!
The Great Sex Rescue--and the package you can download to show to your church
Our definitive podcast on lust & modesty (because I didn't want to rehash everything when we talked about Modest is Hottest)
The Mars Hill podcast episode--The Things We Do to Women
Laura Robinson's Twitter Thread
The Jezebel Article about The Great Sex Rescue
Our article on Elisabeth Elliot and unhealthy dating relationships and the problem with Friendationships when you can't define the relationship
Can Christians use sex toys?
Our Churchianity vs. Christianity podcast
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

The Slippery Slope of Putting Men in Charge of Women - Start Your Engines Ep. 18 Jun 24, 2021

Keith summarizes yesterday’s post on the slippery slope of believing in men’s hierarchy over women, and we address mental load and more.
Links to things mentioned:
Keith's post on the slippery slope of male-only leadership
The Emotional Labor and Mental Load Series, with a podcast describing the issue
The Let's Go to the Beach Revisited post
The Great Sex Rescue
Pastors: Preach what you practice! About how pastors often say that husbands should make the final decision, though that's not what they actually do.

To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 105: The Pelvic Floor Episode! (Plus, can you say 'vulva'?) Jun 17, 2021

What fun episode this week! With our wonderful guest Dr Bethany Peterson joining us, we talk all things pelvic floor and how we as women can improve our lives dramatically with more information on this topic!
Links to things mentioned:

Bethany Peterson and Well-Core Physiotherapy. You can also find Bethany on Instagram.
Bethany's post on why we need to explore our pelvic floors
The FemFusion Guided Meditation for Pelvic Floor Relaxation video
The Great Sex Rescue--and our FREE Video Group Study that goes along with it
The 4 Main Causes of Vaginismus
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 104: Jesus and John Wayne -- the bits about sex! Jun 10, 2021

Jesus and John Wayne--order it this week!. And follow Kristin on Twitter like I do. She's awesome.
Links to things mentioned:

The Great Sex Rescue: A great companion to Jesus and John Wayne
Katie's awesome video and our awesome romance novels we made up, plus Katie's Instagram where you can see all the covers on her story highlights
Our podcast on feeling spiritually homeless
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 103: Great Sexpectations and Birthing Babies Jun 03, 2021

Let’s talk expectations for childbirth, sex, orgasm, and more!
As you’ll hear from the two interviews we did, we were enjoying ourselves immensely talking about how to make different aspects of our lives awesome.
Links to things mentioned:
Jenn Riedy
'Intimately Us' app!
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Do You Know What the #1 Marriage Speaker in the US Military teaches about Sex? May 27, 2021

Mark Gungor claims to be the #1 marriage teacher in the U.S. military, and I think it’s important to know what he is teaching.
Links to things mentioned:

The Great Sex Rescue, our new book that has upset everyone
The audio between Mark and Lexi. You can also read a transcript of the audio by Shannon Ashley, or a transcript with abuse tactics analysis by Sarah McDugal.
My article about the audio, and how I felt
The video we analyzed: The Sex/Love portion of A Tale of Two Brains and The Difference Between Men's Brains and Women's Brains. In this clip Mark Gungor also refers to women as "chicks." (around the 10 minute mark and then again afterwards). (This clip was actually sent to me two years ago, before I even really looked into him, because someone was concerned about the derogatory way he referred to women).
Our emotional labor/mental load series
The podcast where we looked at the problems with Shaunti Feldhahn's research that Emerson Eggerichs used to claim that men need respect while women need love.
The survey question where Shaunti Feldhahn claimed that 82% of boys feel little ability or little responsibility to stop in a makeout situation
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 101: How Do Our Beliefs Affect Human Sex Trafficking? May 20, 2021

We have a fantastic guest joining us today! With real experience on the mission field, Meghan Tschanz is in a great position to share her thoughts and add her voice to this conversation. Thank you for joining us and listening in today, and thank you again to Meghan for being on our podcast!
Things Mentioned in This Podcast:

Meghan Tschanz's book Woman Rising: Learning to Listen, Reclaiming Our Voice
The study about Calvinist/complementarian beliefs and their correlation with domestic violence myths
The Twitter thread by Branden Henry talking about books and research
The article Meghan mentioned by Lyn Yonack about power and sexual abuse
The Wipe Every Tear charity
The Great Sex Rescue
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 100: Is Premarital Sex Dehumanizing? May 13, 2021

We made it to 100 episodes! Thank you to all our listeners for sticking with us, whether from day one or last week, we SO appreciate you being here! And thank you to all those who sent in messages for us to listen to in this episode!
Links to things mentioned:

Great Sex Rescue!
Michael John Cusick's Site, his book Surfing for God, and his Restoring the Soul podcast
Tim Keller's Twitter Thread
Focus on the Family article about consent
The Honeymoon Course
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 99: Don't Let Your Voice be Small Just Because You're a Woman May 06, 2021

Thank you to our WONDERFUL guests this week! We have 3 different people joining in on the discussions today!
Links to things mentioned:

Timothy Thomas' articles, Part 1 and Part 2
Bruce C.E. Fleming's Eden podcast and Book of Eden book. The podcast walks through many of the Genesis verses regarding gender and shows us a beautiful picture of wholeness and freedom
Shannon Ashley's article about our interaction with Mark Gungor
The Great Sex Rescue

To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Do You Know What Your Wife Has Been Taught About Sex? - Start Your Engines 17 Apr 29, 2021

Here we are with another 'Start Your Engines' edition of the podcast! Join Keith and Sheila as they discuss some strange things your wife might believe about sex, and Rebecca and Sheila as they break down an interesting perspective on how the men's lust message can mess up women too!
Links to things mentioned:

The Great Sex Rescue: Our new book, that looks at how harmful some of these messages have been
Support our research by joining our Patreon group! Even for as little as $5 or $8 a month!
Our "Do All Men Struggle with Lust" podcast
Our open letter to Focus on the Family about Love & Respect (at the bottom of this post is links to all of the other things we've said about this book)
The study on complaining and maladaptive worry and status

To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 97: That Weird 70s Sex Era Apr 22, 2021

We've been going back in time on the blog and looking at how different eras viewed sex, so this week on the podcast we're bringing more of that conversation! Listen in as Sheila, Connor, and Rebecca break down what led to the sexual revolution and how the church responded to it at the time.
Links to things mentioned:

Come support our peer-reviewed research and getting into more social media channels!
Connor's review of the 1970s sex book
My review of The Act of Marriage
Our sexuality through the ages series--start here and then follow the links at the bottom
Our rubric and scorecard of all the books we looked at for The Great Sex Rescue

To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 96: Let's Turn Toxic Church Cultures into Goodness Cultures! ft Scot McKnight & Laura Barringer Apr 15, 2021

We've got some AMAZING guests joining us on the podcast today, authors/father-daughter duo Scot McKnight and Laura Barringer! We hope you enjoy this discussion on church cultures, and can find your own church that is 'tov'!
Links to things mentioned:
Scot & Laura's book! https://amzn.to/2OP4Nb9 (A Church Called Tov)

Our rubric and scorecard
The Great Sex Rescue
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 95: How to Talk about Sex with Your Teens so You Don't Scar Them for Life Apr 08, 2021

This week's episode is going out to all the parents of teens out there. We know that sex and puberty can be a tough topic to navigate with your children as they grow up, so we wanted to really delve into that topic and hopefully help further healthy messages for the future generations!
The Whole Story: Our puberty & sex course for moms/daughters or dads/sons (or single parents & opposite sex child!)
The problem with Shaunti Feldhahn's survey question where she said that 82% of boys had little ability or felt little responsibility to stop the sexual progression
That study about teenagers and masturbation rates
The Great Sex Rescue: Our new book with lots of great research about lust, etc.
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 94: Logical Fallacies in our Marriage Advice! The Power & Statistics Episode Apr 01, 2021

This is a jam-packed episode of the Bare Marriage podcast! We hope you enjoy listening in this week!
Links to things mentioned:
The Great Sex Rescue! And remember to rate and review!
Last week's long post on Emerson Eggerichs gaslighting abuse victims--and the podcast that went with it
The blog post where Emerson Eggerichs uses the stat both correctly & incorrectly at the same time
10 reasons rushing forgiveness ruins intimacy
Our Open Letter to Focus on the Family (that our letter writer referred to)
The Duty Sex Isn't Sexy podcast (that our letter writer referred to)
Why Unconditional Respect Isn't A Thing (where we looked in detail at Shaunti Feldhahn's survey question regarding respect)
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Start Your Engines Ep. 16: Can We Be a Church that Doesn't Gaslight Abuse Victims and Bounce our Eyes? Mar 25, 2021

We simply must change the way we talk about women in the church, because what is happening is dangerous.
Links to things mentioned:
The post yesterday where we discussed Emerson Eggerichs' sermons in detail
Last week's post on the Atlanta shootings and seeing women as dangerous
Study showing that non-fatal strangulation increases the odds of a woman being killed by seven-fold
The original sermon series by Emerson Eggerichs on YouTube--Part 1 and Part 2
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 92: All about Orgasms! Mar 18, 2021

Let's discuss orgasms this week, shall we?! We're thrilled to announce our new Patreon!
Links to things mentioned:
The Great Sex Rescue
The Orgasm Course
The Honeymoon Course
The Orgasm Series

ᐧTo Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 91: The Thalidomide Test: What Makes a Marriage Book Good? Mar 11, 2021

Another week where we're discussing sex and marriage here on the Bare Marriage Podcast!
Links to things mentioned:
The Great Sex Rescue — it's doing wonderfully and selling wonderfully! Thank you so much--and help us out by leaving a review on Amazon or Goodreads once you've read it!
Our survey methodology
Books that we liked--How We Love by the Yerkovichs; Boundaries and Boundaries in Marriage by Henry Cloud and John Townsend
10 Ways to Know if Your Church is Toxic
Our Open Letter to Focus on the Family about Love & Respect
The story of Thalidomide
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 90: The book launches, Becca breaks down... and should you kiss before marriage? Mar 04, 2021

We planned to do a bit of a victory lap, and it did start out that way.
We’re just really raw with you about how demoralizing it is to see people just love our book and say what an amazing impact it’s had on them– and then have the powers-that-be still not care about hurting women.
Links to things mentioned:
The Great Sex Rescue
Our survey methods
Dr. Camden Morgante: And check out her "which purity culture myth affected you" quiz!
Our Podcast from last week discussing how children are not sexual
Our Honeymoon Prep Course (where we help people prepare for sex on the honeymoon--and how not to rush intercourse!)
Our correspondence with Focus on the Family around Love & Respect and abuse
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 89: Can we please not be weird about sex? Feb 25, 2021

Sometimes the way we talk about sex is just plain, well, icky and weird.
We go back to basics and ask for a healthy way to talk about sex that isn’t weird!

Links to the things mentioned:
The Great Sex Rescue
Andrew Bauman
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 88: Self-Fulfilling Prophecies and Sex Feb 18, 2021

What happens when women are told: “If your husband is typical, he has a need you don’t have?”, as Love & Respect put it.
If you hear that your whole life that women need affection while men need sex, and women don’t actually need that much. Well, should it be a surprise if we grow up believing that sex is not for us?

Links to things mentioned:
The Great Sex Rescue
Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin's Imago Marriage Counseling.
You can schedule a free consultation now--or check out his retreats.
My viral Twitter thread
Last week's post: How The Act of Marriage impacted me
Our libido series
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 87: Duty Sex isn't Sexy Feb 11, 2021

This week were talking all about duty sex and consent! Thank you to our guests that joined us, it's so encouraging to hear other voices out there with a heart to share this hopeful message of what healthy sex looks like in marriage.
Links to things mentioned:
Andrew Bauman: his book The Sexually Healthy Man
Benjamin Young's Twitter Thread
Benjamin Young's ministry Guard the Gift
The Great Sex Rescue
Our Previous Podcast on Marital Rape and Consent
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 86: You are NOT methadone for your husband's porn use! Feb 04, 2021

This week Sheila and Rebecca are digging deep into just how bad some of the advice out there is for Christians dealing with porn use in their marriage. We need to talk about this better, everyone!
Thank you to Michael John Cusick for stopping by to help give us an even better look at what healing and recovery can look like for the many people struggling with pornography.
Links to things mentioned:

Our Porn series in April (read the first; the rest are linked from there)
Our Porn Habits Podcast: How most porn use predates the marriage (my response to Focus on the Family telling women that men watch porn because their wives don't have sex enough)
Michael John Cusick Website, Podcast, and book: Surfing for God, about discovering the divine desire beneath the sexual struggle
Restoring the Soul
Restoring the Soul podcast

Andrew Bauman, author of The Sexually Healthy Man

The Great Sex Rescue

To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Start Your Engines Ep. 15: What if Lust ISN'T Every Man's Battle? Jan 28, 2021

And we're back with a new 'Start Your Engines' episode! The whole team is practically here today, as Sheila, Keith, Joanna, AND Rebecca all join in to discuss this all too common teaching that 'ALL men will struggle with lust!'
Links to things mentioned:

The Great Sex Rescue
Twitter thread we read
Blog posts:

To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 84: On Sexual Boundaries and Rape Culture in the Church ft. Ruth Everhart Jan 21, 2021

Joining us on the podcast this week is Ruth Everhart, author of the book 'The #MeToo Reckoning'. We hope you find today's podcast a helpful step in the larger conversation in how we need to handle and address sexual assault situations in the church.

Links to things mentioned:

Last spring we had a number of posts and podcasts on the problem with the gatekeeping message--namely that it can hinder arousal. Some of them are: Arousal: The missing piece podcast; And the let's bring back making out post.

Why Unconditional Respect isn't a thing: Our podcast where we looked at the survey question that was used to justify the claim that men choose respect while women choose love.

9 Signs of Grooming Behaviour you need to understand

Ruth Everhart's post on The #MeToo Reckoning
Ruth Everhart's book The #MeToo Reckoning

Follow Sheila on Instagram: @sheilagregoire
The Great Sex Rescue

To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 83: Talking Back to Purity Culture ft. guest Rachel Joy Welcher Jan 14, 2021

This week we are joined by author Rachel Joy Welcher, as we discuss all things purity culture - and where it went wrong! We so appreciate Rachel joining us and giving her insight!

Links to things mentioned:

Follow Sheila on Instagram: @sheilagregoire
The Great Sex Rescue
Rachel's book: Talking Back to Purity Culture
Rachel's Twitter
Why arousal can be difficult for women if they don't understand the sexual progression
More information on women and porn
Rebecca's book: Why I Didn't Rebel
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 82: Stripping Everything Bare (New Year, New... Name?!) Jan 07, 2021

Welcome back! We are excited as we begin our rebranding process from To Love, Honor, and Vacuum to… *drumroll* Bare Marriage! Listen in as we discuss what led to this new name choice and our thoughts on how we see 2021 going, as we focus on a Jesus-centered marriage!

Links to things mentioned:

Follow Sheila on Instagram: @sheilagregoire
The Great Sex Rescue
Sheila's post on the Harvard Study
More info on the Harvard Grand Survey
The article on 'Mediocre Leaders'
Our response to Emerson Eggrichs
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 81: 'Churchianity' vs Christianity - Our Year of Feeling Homeless Dec 17, 2020

2020 has been a wild year for everyone. As we close off this year, we want to reiterate how much we appreciate everyone who has taken the time to read the blog, listen to the podcast, buy the books, buy the courses and just be a part of our TLHV family. We hope you've enjoyed learning lots along with us this year, and we can't wait for the release of our book in March as we enter a new era on To Love, Honor, and Vacuum, (and hopefully a more joyful era at that!)
Links to things mentioned:
Dr. Cynthia Long Westfall's book
Dr. Cythina Long Westfall
Marg Mowczko
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 80: Unconditional Respect is NOT a Thing. Dec 10, 2020

Another week, another episode of the TLHV podcast! A special thank-you to our guest Dr. Westfall for helping shed more light and give new perspectives on a passage in scripture that we read so often! We hope you enjoyed today's episode, and while we know we got pretty technical with some context and vocabulary, we believe it is very important that we look at these topics as clearly as possible to gain the best understanding.

Links to things mentioned:

Follow Sheila on Instagram: @sheilagregoire
Dr. Cynthia Long Westfall's book
Dr. Cynthia Long Westfall
The Great Sex Rescue
Psychology Today article

To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 79. Can We Stop Talking about Girls Being Stumbling Blocks and Causing Men to Lust? Dec 03, 2020

We always love tackling tough subjects on the To Love, Honor, and Vacuum Podcast and we hope you enjoyed our passionate discussion today.
Links to things mentioned:
4 Stages of Porn Recovery
The Bell-curve Modesty Rule
The Whole Story
The Great Sex Rescue
Andrew Bauman's website
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Start Your Engines Ep. 14 Guys and Emotions: They're Not Polar Opposites ft. Andrew J. Bauman Nov 25, 2020

Alright, gentlemen, we're here again for another Start Your Engines episode! Thank you to Andrew Bauman for joining us today for this important conversation and being a great voice advocating for emotional health.
We apologize for the slightly muffled audio, we did our best to clean it up, and we appreciate your grace with us as we begin to invite guests onto the show and work out new technical challenges.
Links to things mentioned:
Andrew J Bauman's Surveys
Andrew J Bauman's Website
Books by Andrew J Bauman
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 78. What Does Emotional Maturity Look Like? ft. Marc Alan Schelske Nov 19, 2020

We want to give a special welcome this week to our first non-family-member guest, Marc Alan Schelske! We hope you enjoy our discussions today all about emotional intelligence and emotional maturity.
Links to things mentioned:
Marc Alan Schelske's book
Marc Alan Schelske's website
Marc Alana Schelske's Podcast
Workbook mentioned
To Support Us:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

And don't forget to sign up for Sheila's newsletter!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 77. Why It's Hard For Victims to Share Their Stories of Abuse Nov 12, 2020

Sheila and Rebecca decided to take the time this week to further flesh out a podcast topic addressed a few weeks ago, that was perhaps not portrayed in the best way. Thank you for making the 'To Love, Honor, and Vacuum' podcast part of your week!
Links to things mentioned:
The Blog: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/
"Rushing Forgiveness Ruins Intimacy": https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2019/08/10-reasons-why-rushing-forgiveness-ruins-intimacy/
Pre-Order 'The Great Sex Rescue': https://www.amazon.ca/Great-Rescue-Sheila-Wray-Gregoire/dp/1540900827
Be a part of 'The Great Sex Rescue' Launch Team!: https://forms.gle/A9ZLMdgMR37uK8rQA
Natalie Hoffman Post: https://www.flyingfreenow.com/message-baptist-church-preached-death-women/
https://leslievernick.com
Please check the blog post that accompanies this podcast for further links to things mentioned.

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Start Your Engines Ep. 13: On Arousal Non-Concordance and the Sexy Sex Oct 29, 2020

It's time for our monthly 'Start Your Engines' podcast, with special guest Keith! We hope you enjoyed this conversation all about the sexy sex!
Links to things mentioned:
10 Things Husbands Who Are Great Lovers Do: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/10/10-things-husbands-who-are-great-lovers-do/
The Orgasm Course: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/the-orgasm-course/
Some articles from the blog talking about dealing with Pornography addiction:
https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/04/motivation-for-men-to-fight-pornography/
https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/04/how-to-break-the-stronghold-of-porn/
https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/04/4-stages-of-porn-recovery-what-porn-recovery-in-marriage-looks-like/

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

The One MAJOR Roadblock to Orgasm Oct 15, 2020

Join us for another week of the To Love, Honor, and Vacuum Podcast, where Sheila explores some of your comments on how the beliefs we internalize affect a couple's sex life.
Link to the blog:
http://www.tolovehonorandvacuum.com
Link to Pre-Order The Great Sex Rescue:
https://www.amazon.com/Great-Sex-Rescue-Recover-Intended/dp/1540900827

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 74. Having Troubles with Orgasm? You are NOT Broken! Oct 08, 2020

This month on the blog we're going to be talking lots about orgasms! Do you struggle with having orgasms? Do you see your body as something working against you, not for you? We're here to help talk about these things!
And today we have Sheila, Rebecca AND Connor all hopping on the podcast to give some great thoughts about how we talk about women's sexuality, how we view our sexual needs, and how we can increase the likelihood of orgasming!
Blog post mentioned from Monday: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/10/you-are-not-broken-if-you-cant-reach-orgasm/
Blog post for this podcast: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 73. Questions on Sexual Abuse and the Road to Recovery Oct 01, 2020

Join us this week as Sheila Wray Gregoire and Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach discuss some important topics -- sexual abuse and when to seek professional help.
Links to things mentioned in the podcast:
The need for licensed counselling : https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2019/03/question-your-biblical-counsellor/
Dan Allender's book: https://www.amazon.com/The-Wounded-Heart-Dan-B-Allender-audiobook/dp/B01ATOK6H8
"98 Ways You Could Be Sinning Against Your Husband": https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2019/06/sinning-against-husband/

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Start Your Engines Ep. 12: On Frequency and Feeling Sex-Starved Sep 24, 2020

Thank you for tuning in to the September edition of the 'Start Your Engines Podcast'!
Links mentioned in the episode:
Blog Post on Frequency: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/09/how-much-sex-should-you-have-every-week/
Email List Sign-up: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.us7.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=7dab5e96bfaeb6aaa1503b481&id=5b44e4e8aa
Link for the Blog: http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 72. What if Frequency and Libido Differences AREN'T the Real Issue? Sep 17, 2020

This month on the blog we’re discussing all things ‘Libido’! Listen in to hear Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach and Sheila Wray Gregoire talk about what could possibly be the key to unlocking your spouses’ low libido, and perhaps make you rethink how you see 'frequency' in relation to healthy sex!

Blog Posts Mentioned in this Podcast:

How frequently should a healthy couple have sex?:

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/09/how-much-sex-should-you-have-every-week/

How to see Every Man’s Battle Differently: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2017/06/every-mans-battle-is-wrong/

How to see Sex from a Different Perspective: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/07/understanding-sex-from-a-womans-perspective/

Why We Need to See Sex as Mutual: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2019/03/godly-sex-is-mutual-sex/

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 71. Are Sex and Talking Really the Same Thing? Sep 10, 2020

This week Sheila is flying solo on the podcast, and getting a bit more controversial!
Listen in to hear her discuss the concept of how being content with your sex life can perhaps cause it to flourish even more, how sex and talking are NOT equivalent, and how Christians should better handle speaking about divorce.
Links for Things Mentioned:
Free Sex Pep-Talk Course! https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/sex-pep-talk-course/
This week's mentioned post: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/09/libido-can-high-drive-spouses-be-content-with-sex-frequency/
My Post on "Are you to blame if your husband has an affair?" https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2019/07/are-you-to-blame-if-your-spouse-cheats-on-you/
Book Recommendation: Marc Alan Schelske's "The Wisdom of your Heart" https://www.amazon.com/Wisdom-Your-Heart-Discovering-God-Given/dp/0781414512/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=marc+alan+wisdom&qid=1599678760&sr=8-1

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 70: How To Handle Complicated Engagements Sep 03, 2020

How do you handle it when tough conversations come up and loved ones are making decisions you don't agree with? Especially when marriage and engagements are the starting point for those hard conversations?
Today Sheila Wray Gregoire and Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach from To Love, Honor and Vacuum talk through different Reader Questions and come up with some tips on communicating and how to discuss issues such as pornography and past trauma with your fiance!
Some links mentioned in this podcast:
The Honeymoon Course!
https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/the-honeymoon-course-start-your-marriage-and-your-sex-life-off-well/
Our 'Love & Respect' Blog Posts:
https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2019/01/love-and-respect-review-how-sex-portrayed/
Should you marry someone who uses porn?
https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2019/01/should-you-marry-porn-user/
BOOKS MENTIONED:
Why I Didn't Rebel: https://www.amazon.com/Why-Didnt-Rebel-Twenty-Two-Year-Old-Narrow/dp/0718090004/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=why+i+didn%27t+rebel&qid=1599102064&sr=8-1
Discipline That Connects with Your Child's Heart: https://www.amazon.com/Discipline-that-Connects-Childs-Heart/dp/0984994203

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Start Your Engines Ep. 11: How NOT to Flirt With Your Wife Aug 27, 2020

What if, when flirting, your signals keep getting crossed and for some reason your wife doesn't respond well to your advances? In today's episode, Sheila and Keith, (plus Rebecca and Connor!), sit down to break down why flirting and groping are different things, as well as how to optimize your timing and context when flirting!
Check out the blog for so much more on this topic, and fun challenges to do with your spouse!
http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 69: Let's Talk Sexual Favours... and Pain? Aug 20, 2020

What do you do if you can't/don't want to have intercourse, but other forms of sex are actually uncomfortable?

Some Christian books tell women they should give sexual favors, because they're "simple" and take a "minimum of effort."

Today Sheila Wray Gregoire and Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach from To Love, Honor and Vacuum look at the complete picture--what this should look like in a healthy relationship, and how to think about it if one of you actually is physically uncomfortable.

Because, as always, sex is supposed to be MUTUAL.

Some links mentioned in this podcast:

All my Audio books--and the free book studies that go along with my books:

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/08/audio-books-free-video-studies-and-more/

My Boost Your Libido course!

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/boost-libido-course/

Our marital rape/consent/obligation sex podcast:

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/04/podcast-marital-rape-consent/

And for more discussion on this podcast, check out the post that goes along with it!

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/08/podcast-when-oral-sex-manual-sex-hurt

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 68: Are Women Responsible For Their Own Orgasms? Aug 13, 2020

Another Thursday, another episode of our podcast!
It's Sheila Wray Gregoire and Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach from the To Love, Honor and Vacuum blog, discussing expectations of the effort we put into sex and making one another feel good!
And yes, we're still filming from Sheila's closet because the sound is best there! :)
Check out the posts mentioned in the podcast:
The Honeymoon course:
https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/the-honeymoon-course-start-your-marriage-and-your-sex-life-off-well/
Rebecca's blog post:
https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/08/can-christians-please-stop-talking-about-disciplining-babies/

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 67. TMI: All about PERIODS! Aug 06, 2020

Why do we feel such shame? How can we help men be more sensitive to women--without being creepy? And how can we as women be empathetic towards each other? These are questions Rebecca and I tackle in this week's podcast.

Plus we'll discuss why using tampons does not impact your virginity (why do we even think that's a thing? Sheesh!).

Check out the posts mentioned in the podcast:

Our Whole Story puberty course!

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/the-whole-story/

And our period series--check out our first post. The rest are included!

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/08/periods-going-to-beach-teenager/

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Start Your Engines Ep. 10: How Husbands can be Sex Heroes! Jul 30, 2020

Today Keith joins me for yet another episode of our ‘Start Your Engines’ edition of the podcast to discuss how husbands and wives approach to sex can vary greatly, but how neither one is wrong!

Blog posts mentioned in this episode:

“Should I Tell My Husband if I Fake Orgasm or Fantasize During Sex?”

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/07/should-i-tell-my-husband-if-i-fake-orgasm-or-fantasize-during-sex/

“Understanding Sex from a Woman’s Perspective”

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/07/understanding-sex-from-a-womans-perspective/

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 66: The WEIRD Sex Questions! Jul 23, 2020

This week--how do you untangle sex problems, especially because there's usually not just one problem? And how to tell if there are red flags that something's really wrong!

Thanks to our sponsor Ann Mainse, whose wonderful devotional Coffee with Him helps any woman walking through rough times--whether cancer or betrayal or heartache or disillusionment--find peace. Raw and real, Ann shows how we can be honest with God in the darkness.

https://amzn.to/30CfBLA

Posts mentioned in this podcast:

The 5 Step Plan for Untangling Sex Problems:

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/07/why-are-so-many-sex-problems-in-marriage-so-hard-to-solve/

We Need a New Definition of Sex

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2019/03/new-definition-sex/

We Read Act of Marriage--So You Don't Have to!

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/04/act-of-marriage-lahaye-christian-sex-book-review/

And don't forget to check out 31 Days to Great Sex to help you connect again and step-by-step rebuild your sex life!

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/books-2/31-days-to-great-sex/

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 65: Awkward Newlywed Sex Questions Jul 16, 2020

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 64: Sometimes a Vagina is Just a Vagina! Jul 09, 2020

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 63: Sex Questions You Can't Ask Your Pastor Jul 02, 2020

We often go to our pastors for marital advice and answers to tough questions. But what about the questions you can't ask them? In preparation for my Sex Questions You Can't Ask Your Pastor tomorrow at 9:00 PM Eastern Time.
If you want to sign up, just follow the link to buy your ticket, which comes with a FREE copy of my book 31 Days to Great Sex, and a FREE copy of Spicy Dares
Sign Up for the Webinar Here
Blog Post Extras

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Start Your Engines Ep.9: Honey, Just Give Me a List! Jun 25, 2020

We have been talking about the concept of mental load and the emotional burden of taking care of kids and the household. And when your wife is feeling overburdened bu all the things she needs to track, it's hard for her to get invested in the bedroom. It's so important, then, for husbands to get invested in the household, but is asking her to make a list really going to help the problem? Let's discuss!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 62: Are We Man-Bashers Now? Jun 18, 2020

I've been talking on the blog about the mental load of housework and how it often falls on the wives, even when they are the one who works outside the house. I have also been saying that men can step up more because being a man doesn't make them less capable. Curiously, that sentiment has earned me the title of man-basher from some of my male commenters. So Let's talk about that.
Podcast Extras
9 Thoughts That Can Change Your Marriage

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 61: Are Your Standards for Housework Unreasonable? Jun 11, 2020

Let's talk about minimum community standards and how they can be used to reduce your mental load and get you and your spouse on the same page in terms of housework!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 60: Splitting the Mental Load of Housework Jun 04, 2020

This month we are doing our series on emotional labour. In keeping with that trend, today's podcast is all about how much of a mental load it is to be solely in charge of housework, and how to find a healthier balance with your spouse.

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Start Your Engines Ep.8: What About Gender Differences? May 28, 2020

What are the differences between men and women, and how important are they actually? Have we been focusing on the wrong thing?

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 59: Should Women be the Gatekeepers of Sex? May 14, 2020

So much of the teachings out there for young women is that when they are dating, they must be the gatekeeper and stop physical interactions from reaching their boyfriend's 'point of no return.' Let's talk about how this mentality often ends up holding women back from enjoying sex once they are married.
Honeymoon Course

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 58: Quarantine with Your Spouse May 07, 2020

Today we talk about about how to handle being cooped up in the house spending all day every day with your spouse. It's not just something to get through, but something you can even grow to love!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Start Your Engines Ep.7: Is Your Wife Being Held Back by the 'Duty Sex' Message? Apr 30, 2020

We have found the the message that "women NEED to have sex regularly or else their husbands will stray" Is very harmful to their enjoyment of sex. But we also found that they often don't get that message from their husbands. Their are a lot of great husbands out their whose wives are still struggling because they have heard this message at church or in books or from media .So let's talk about how you can replace that message with something better and help your wife find sex sexy again. Also, Connor comes on to talk with Keith about porn and with Rebecca about consent. They talk about the harmful messages that arise around these issues and how we can combat them.
Is Sex an Entitlement?
Top 10 Effects of Porn on the Brain
Porn and Sex Trafficking
4 Stages of Porn Recovery
Marital Rape Podcast

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 57: Marital Rape, Consent, and Obligation Sex Apr 23, 2020

We need to talk about what actually constitutes rape and consent in marriage, and where obligation sex fits into the conversation
Podcast Extras on the Blog
Marital Rape
1 Corinthians 7:3-5: What do the verses really mean?
Do Not Deprive: What if it’s actually women who are being deprived?
Why We Need a New Definition of Sex
Have we made sex into an entitlement?
Why submission doesn’t mean letting yourself be hurt (a look at the book Created to be His Helpmeet)
Sexual trauma & The Body Keeps the Score

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 56: "Sheet Music" is Really Explicit! Apr 16, 2020

Today, Rebecca and I review sheet music and talk about how a book that gives overly explicit sex advice can become just plain creepy.
Honeymoon Course

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 55: Reacting to "The Act of Marriage" Apr 09, 2020

I read out some quotes and anecdotes from Tim LaHaye's book, The Act of Marriage, to my Rebecca to get her reaction.

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 54: What do Porn and Coronavirus Have in Common? Apr 02, 2020

COVID-19 is everywhere in the news right now, and people are scared. But while everyone is talking about the novel coronavirus and our response to it, I want to discuss the similartities between COVID-19 and porn use, particularly in terms of what we should do about it.
Podcast Extras
Why Every Man's Battle Fails
Wives Are not to Blame

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Start Your Engines Ep.6. Do All Men Lust? Mar 26, 2020

It's time to rethink 'every man's battle' and talk about what lust really is, and how to really combat it.
Podcast Extras
The Church View of Lust Disrespects Women
Are Men Visual?
Masturbation in Marriage
When She’s Always Left Hanging
Women Deserve Orgasm, too
Why Women’s Fireworks Matter

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 53: Re-imagining the Sunday Service? Mar 19, 2020

We live in a rapidly changing world where information is available at the touch of a button, yet the Sunday church service has stayed pretty consistent. Is it time to shake things up?
Podcast Extras
Being Lonely in a Group of People
10 Ways to Break Into A New Church and Find Friends
What Happened at Willow Creek?
10 Signs You’re in a Legalistic Church
When Women Start Saying No to Church Activities
The Case Against Sermon-Centric Sundays

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 52: Are You a Community Giver or Taker Mar 12, 2020

Community is an important part of our life, but what do you do when you have trouble finding it? Or when you've found it, but can't join it? Or when you feel you have a little too much of it, and people are giving you unsolicited advice? All that and more on today's episode!
Podcast Extras
Making Community at Church
Podcast: Getting Your Life Together
Canadian Pediatric Society Screen Guidelines
American Academy of Pediatrics Family Media Plan

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 51: So Many Reader Questions! Mar 05, 2020

My reader questions are coming in faster than I can write posts on them, so for today's podcast I am going to answer a bunch of my readers questions about marriage, sex, and everything else!
Podcast Extras
Can You Divorce for Abuse?
Why I’m Anti-Divorce but Pro Remarriage
Is the Husband the Tie-Breaker?
Are Husbands Supposed to "Get Their Wives Ready for Jesus?"

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Start Your Engines Ep.5: Finding Good Sex Advice Feb 27, 2020

There are a lot of unhelpful or harmful teachings about sex out there, so let's talk about how to discern the good from the bad. Also on this episode, Rebecca and I will talk about how to navigate your wife's hormonal cycles when it comes to the bedroom!
Spicy Dares
Podcast Extras

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 50: Recovering Your Sex Life After a Baby Feb 20, 2020

The idea of having sex after giving birth is daunting, especially after complications. And if we move too fast, we risk making recovery even harder. So let's talk about not just how to start having sex again, but how to get back to enjoying it!
Podcast Extras

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 49: What Does it Mean to Be a Sexual Being? Feb 13, 2020

Valentine's Day is coming up, so let's talk about what it means to be a sexual being, how the world can sometimes take our sexuality away from us, and how we can reclaim it!
Podcast Extras
Sexy Dares
Why I didn't Rebel

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 48: How Do You Feel Comfortable in Your Body Feb 06, 2020

When I surveyed women for one of my books, I asked them to name three things about their body. Most of them really struggled to come up with one, but they had a whole of things they DIDN'T like. So let's talk about how to not just accept our bodies, but to LIKE them. Because after all, they're the ones God gave us!
Podcast Extras

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Start Your Engines Ep.4: When Your Wife Won't Have Sex Jan 30, 2020

Let's talk about a big issue we hear about a lot: Sexless marriages. Whether a wife is withholding sex because of her husband's behaviour, because she doesn't enjoy it, or just because she finds it gross, let's figure out why she cut things off, what a healthy sex life should look like, and how to get there!
Podcast Extras

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 47: When Something is Bugging You in Your Marriage Jan 23, 2020

Something’s wrong in your marriage. So what do you do about it?
This month I’m running my iron sharpens iron series, about how marriage is supposed to make you better people. But it can’t do that if we don’t speak up when things are wrong! So today on the podcast I’m continuing my discussion about how to confront your spouse if something’s bugging you
Podcast Extras
9 Thoughts That Can Change Your Marriage
Submission Podcast

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
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Episode 46: Love and Respect Wrap Up Jan 16, 2020

It's one year this week since I ran my huge Love & Respect series. I've written about how Love & Respect treats sex horribly and harms marriages off and on throughout this last year, since the original week-long series ran. And now, on this one year anniversary, I've been tying up some loose ends, including dropping my 5500 word open letter to Focus on the Family questioning their support of Love & Respect, as we cap off our discussion.
This Episode's Blog Post

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Episode 45: Drawing Boundaries Around a Spouse's Bad Behaviour Jan 09, 2020

Let's look today at how to draw boundaries and actually see progress in messy areas of marriage. We're in the middle of our iron sharpens iron series on the blog, where I'm talking all month about how marriage is supposed to make us better people. I'm afraid that, too often in marriage, we tolerate small things early in the relationship that then become engrained habits that get worse and worse and worse. By speaking up and doing something about behaviour that is damaging to your spouse, to you, and to the relationship you can help create the kind of marriage you actually want.
9 Thoughts That Can Change Your Marriage
Today's Podcast Extras

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Episode 44: Last Year's Frightening Revelation About Christian Teachings on Sex Jan 02, 2020

Last January, I read Love and Respect for the first time, and it was like a bomb had been dropped. I knew I was going to have to talk about it. One thing led to another and 2019 became a pretty big year. So let's recap on some of the big changes and talk about where we are going from here, answering a few reader questions along the way!
Podcast Extras
Productivity Bundle

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Start Your Engines Ep.3: Give Your Wife the Gift of Good Sex Dec 19, 2019

Let's talk about what you can do to really get your wife involved and enthusiastic about your bedtime escapades. Because good things come when her pleasure is your focus
Today's Links:
Podcast Extras Post
"Do Not Deprive" Post
Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex

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Episode 43: Family Trouble Around the Holidays Dec 12, 2019

With Christmas coming up, it's time to talk about something many of us dread: Navigating tricky family dynamics at holiday gatherings. Rebecca, Connor, and I are going to talk about both toxic and non-toxic family situations.
Why I Didn't Rebel
Podcast Extras
When to Walk Away

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Episode 42: Is It Your Fault If He Watches Porn? Dec 05, 2019

So often I hear the sentiment that the reason so many good christian guys are using porn is that their sexual needs are not being met by their wives. Not only is this blaming wives for their husband's sin, but it simply isn't true most of the time. So I am going to talk about this issue and lay down some facts about why porn use starts, how it affects mirriages, and how we can move past it!
Here are the links from today's podcast:
Today's Podcast Extras
Focus on the Family Podcast
Covenant Eyes

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Episode 41: All About Erections Nov 21, 2019

My husband who is a pediatrician joins me on the podcast to address a slew of reader questions about erections. There's really not much more to say than that!
Links:
31 Days to Great Sex
The Whole Story
To Love Honor and Vacuum Blog

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Episode 40: How Do You Know When Someone is Grooming You? Nov 14, 2019

Today let's talk about a very serious topic. With all the cases of pastors and other influential people in church using their power to sexually abuse members of their congregations, and the recent news about Christian comedian, John Crist, I want to talk about how to recognize the patterns and processes of people who are trying to groom others for their own purposes.
Read the Podcast Extras Here
Check out "Get Your Marriage On" Here
Complete My Marriage Survey Here!

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Episode 39: Postpartum Blues Nov 07, 2019

My grandson is 2 weeks old now, so I will be talking with my daughter about the difficulties of the road to recovery after a baby. It's a topic that people often don't talk about, but it is so important to have understanding and compassion for those going through it. On a related note, I also address a reader question about overcoming vaginismus.
Take Our Marriage Survey
See Today's Post

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Start Your Engines Ep. 2: Starting Conversations About Sex Oct 31, 2019

Today is Halloween and the last Thursday of the month, which means I am once again speaking to you men out there. And this week we are talking about how to start those uncomfortable conversations about sex with your wife when you think you should both be getting more out of your sex life.
Here are the links mentioned in the podcast:
Post "Why Your Husband Wants You to Read This Blog"
To Love Honor and Vacuum
Get Your Marriage On
31 Days to Great Sex

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Episode 38: How To Actually Get Your Life Together Oct 17, 2019

Today Rebecca and I talk about one of the big ways in which we as women today are making our lives a lot more difficult than they need to be. So let's talk about areas of expertise, social comparisons, and asking for help when we need it.
If you want to read the post that accompanies this episode, head on over to "To Love Honor and Vacuum!"

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Episode 37: "We Have a Newborn, Husband Wants and Xbox!" and More Reader Questions Oct 10, 2019

Today we are answering reader questions from marriages that are past the honeymoon stage and are now working on sorting life out. One reader asks what to do when your husband won't come to bed with you and stays up playing video games. Another asks if it is wrong to want a great marriage, not just a fine one. And a third reader asks what to do if your husband who is hooked on games wants to buy an Xbox at the same time your child is due!
Links mentioned in the podcast:
Podcast Extras
Last Week's Podcast
Get Your Marriage On
Spicy Dares

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Episode 36: The Honeymoon Years of Sex (Figuring it Out) Oct 03, 2019

Kicking off October's series on the stages of a sex life, we are addressing a number of issues and questions regarding the beginning of marriage. We will be talking about boundaries during engagement, what to do when the honeymoon years of sex aren't as mindblowing as you expected, and why the best sex is usually had after 15 years of marriage!
As always, check us out on the blog, and to enter my giveaway for 31 Days to Great Sex or the set of Sexy Dares, you just have to sign up for my Newsletter!

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Start Your Engines Ep. 1: Understanding Female Sexuality Sep 26, 2019

I have had many women asking me to do a podcast for men so they can get their husbands to listen and understand women better. So, starting this week, the last Thursday of each month will be a men's episode called "Start Your Engines." Ladies are of course still welcome to listen in, as it's still relevant for you, but I am speaking more directly to the men here. We start off our first episode giving an overview of the often overlooked differences between male and female sexuality!
I recommend you check out this great app, "Get Your Marriage On"
You can also check out my book, "31 Days to Great Sex"
And as always, check out the podcast extras on my blog!

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Episode 35: Using the Bible to Gaslight Women? Sep 19, 2019

This is a long one. Recently, the author of Love and Respect sent out an email to his readers addressing some complaints he often receives about how his teachings from the book are applied. And his response sent up a sea of red flags. So, I have brought my husband on to discuss our issues with it. If you want to check out the blog post that accompanies this podcast, you can find it here. And as always, if you like the podcast, leave a rating and a review!

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Episode 34: Sexonomics Sep 12, 2019

What do economics have to do with your sex life? More than you'd think. Today I talk about that in depth, and also address reader questions and comments about how to live with joy together in the middle of the mundane. Finally, Rebecca and I address the criticisms we have received for teaching women how to reduce their risk of being sexually assaulted. Check out the challenge blog post, Mother.ly, and the post for this episode!

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Episode 33: What's Stressing Out Your Marriage? Sep 05, 2019

Let's talk about how a seemingly small financial decision can have a domino effect that may create stress in your marriage. Also, how can we use routines without letting them take over our lives? Don't forget to check out the amazing "Get Your Marriage On" app, and check out the blog at To Love Honor and Vacuum!

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Episode 32: What Does Headship in Marriage Really Mean? It's All Greek to Me! Aug 28, 2019

We're going to be getting a little academic today as I look at the Greek and the Hebrew used in the Bible to shed some light on the discussion about what it means for the man to be the head of the family. Rebecca and also talk about family support and family boundaries. As always, check us out on To Love Honor and Vacuum!

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Episode 31: The Only Way to Grow Your Marriage Aug 22, 2019

I think we often go looking for marriage advice hoping for some easy fix that doesn't really require effort or change. But that's not how to get the most out of marriage. Starting now, the blog and the podcast will both be focusing on action steps. Each week, I will issue a challenge to help you grow your marriage. Also in this episode, I address a reader question about dating a long-distance woman who lives with a highly restrictive father, and Rebecca gives her thoughts on unhealthy views of female beauty! For more, check us out on my blog here!

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Episode 30: Yoga Pants and Why We Need a Better Shame-Free Message Aug 15, 2019

We have had a lot of conversations on the blog about modesty recently, and questions about yoga pants and women who wear revealing outfits at church always come up. In this episode, My daughter, son-in-law, and I go in depth on the topic to break down some of the unhealthy teachings and talk how to build each other up in Christ!
As always, check out the extras on the blog here!

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Episode 29: The Lonely Generation Aug 08, 2019

In light of recent events, I want to talk about the isolation and loneliness pervasive in today's society and address what we can do as individuals, parents, friends, and church members to connect with one another on a more effective level. As always, check out the blog for all of the extras right here!

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Episode 28: Taking Back Sexy Aug 01, 2019

This month I am focusing on taking back "sexy", so for today's podcast we are discussing how sexy isn't shameful. My daughter comes on to talk about lingerie that can make you feel sexy and comfortable at the same time. I also talk about how sometimes it would benefit us to adopt a broader approach to our faith rather than to become immobile or ineffective due to a narrow spiritual world-view. Check out the extra's for today's blog post here!

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Episode 27: The Purity Culture and the Prosperity Gospel Jul 25, 2019

Today, Joanna, Rebecca, and I talk about some sad recent news in the Christian world and talk about the current status of the purity culture. Check it out on the blog here!

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Episode 26: Communicating with Your Grown Up Kids Jul 18, 2019

Sometimes the way we talk about dating and marriage with our kids can seriously hold them back when it comes to finding a good spouse. But there are ways that we can set them up with the tools to succeed when the opportunity arises. Rebecca and Joanna also go on to discuss what to do when your relationship with your college-aged kid starts to become strained. Be sure to check out all the extras on the blog here!

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Episode 25: Making Marriage Easier and Pregnancy Etiquette Jul 11, 2019

Today I am on vacation so Rebecca, Connor, and Joanna take over to talk about how putting systems in place can take a lot of the stress out of marriage and how to be sensitive when talking to people about pregnancy. For all the extras, check out the post here!

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Episode 24: I Was Naive But Now My Eyes Are Open Jun 27, 2019

Events on the blog lately have woken me up to some of the disturbing realities of our culture, and so I talk with various members of my staff and family about these big issues on my mind recently. If you want all of the extras, check out the post here!

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Episode 23: Emotional Needs and Emotional Affairs Jun 20, 2019

Today I continue my conversation from the blog about the importance of identifying your and your spouse's emotional needs, and I get into how it can help you resolve conflict. I also address a reader question about how to move forward when you have had an emotional affair with someone outside your marriage, and I also give my boardgame recommendations! Find the link to the emotional needs download, the board game post, and more right here!

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Episode 22: How Sex Can Start Off Badly Jun 13, 2019

I just released the honeymoon course on my blog this week, so Rebecca and I have been talking about how marriages can get off to a great start, or a not so great start. I also address when and how to have conversations about sex while dating or engaged, and I share my thoughts on masturbation. If you want to check out the honeymoon course, click here! And of course, if you want to check out this podcast's blog post, click here!

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Episode 21: Resolving Conflict With 5 Why's Jun 06, 2019

Today, my husband joins me as we talk about how there is often a deeper root to conflict than it first seems. One technique for finding that root is the 5 "why" method. I also address a reader question about the sexual difficulties in her new marriage, and I discuss a revelation I had thanks to a Twitter argument! For more, check out the blog post on To Love Honor and Vacuum!

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Episode 20: Horrible Scorecards for Wives May 30, 2019

Some of our readers have shared some sin checklists and score cards for wives that are being used by their churches as resources for marital counselling. They are both hilarious and concerning, so that is what I, Rebecca, and her husband (Connor) are talking about on today's podcast. To read more, and to take a look at these checklists yourself, visit my website here!

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Episode 19: Sex Ed for Adults May 23, 2019

On the blog I have been talking about sex and theology, so I'd like to bring it all together and take a look at what we can learn from the way God made our bodies, marriage, and sex!
For the podcast extras, check out the post on my blog here
And of course don't forget to check out Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and 9 Thoughts that Can Change Your Marriage!

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Episode 18: Remebering Rachel Held Evans: Don't Let the Church Drive You Away From Jesus May 09, 2019

In the wake of Rachel Held Evans' passing, Rebecca and I talk about her work and ideas about prioritizing authentic living-in-Christ over strict adherence to doctrine. While different doctrines can be a source of division for Christians, Jesus' universal love ties us all together. And all too often, kids fall away from church because doctrine was the centre rather than a relationship with Christ. Check out my blog, To Love Honor and Vacuum, for podcast extras and more great content!

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Episode 17: Can We Stop with Gender Stereotypes Already? May 02, 2019

Today, my daughter and I talk about gender differences and gender stereotypes. God created man and woman, but culture created masculine and feminine. We address how the ways that we look at masculinity and femininity are restrictive and work against inclusivity. And a strict adherence to gender stereotypes can also really damage our marriages. I also talk about whether it is selfish or frivolous to spend time and energy improving your sex life (I think you know my stance). For all this and more, including a report that we wrote up on the discourse following my Love and Respect posts, check out the podcast extras at To Love Honor and Vacuum!

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Episode 16: Forgiveness, Healing, and Lust Apr 25, 2019

I don't think we always talk about forgiveness in a way that is actually helpful. Today I talk about what it really means to heal and move past something. And while I talk about forgiveness, I also address some reader question and comments regarding men lusting after other women, and the harm behind the mentality that every man will have this struggle. Join us on the blog for even further discussion at To Love Honor and Vacuum! I would love to hear your thoughts.

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Episode 15: Women and Porn, Creepy Men, and More Apr 18, 2019

We talk plenty about men struggling with porn, but today I address the growing number of women who are struggling with it. Rebecca and I also talk about whether to get involved if your child is dating a non-Christian, and how you can make yourself less of a target for sexual harassment from creeps you don't know. All that on today's podcast and more! Also, don't forget to check out the blog if you want more, at tolovehonorandvacuum.com!

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Episode 14: Seriously? Are Women Actually Stumbling Blocks? Apr 11, 2019

Today I tackle the issue of modesty. We often warn women not to be stumbling blocks for men, and lay the blame for men's lust at their feet, but what if that is actually creating a stumbling block for our women? I also address whether you should fake orgasm every time, and Rebecca and I discuss wedding vows

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Episode 13: Speak Up in Your Marriage Apr 03, 2019

All too often, big problems later on in marriage arise as a result of bad habits and poor communication earlier on. Let's talk about how to fix our marriages before they are broken. Rebecca also joins me to talk about why so many Christian women are having trouble finding a husband, and I address dealing with a spouse's sexual history.

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Episode 12: The Burden of the Household Mar 29, 2019

Everyone is sick today, so we have a short episode of Rebecca and Connor talking about the psychological burden of being in charge of chores. They talk about their own journey through sorting out the division of tasks and responsibility, and give some advice on how you can find a healthier balance in your marriage too!

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Episode 11: A New Take on Resolving Conflict Mar 21, 2019

Today I talk about what I have learned and observed about resolving "conflicts in marriage" and present some insights on a more productive approach. I also talk about some tricks to help you and your spouse communicate love to one another, and Rebecca and I delve into cellphones and the millennial mental health crisis.

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Episode 10: A New Definition of Sex Mar 14, 2019

This week we're finishing up our series on how sex should be mutual--including working towards a new definition of sex. I also talk about what to do when a husband in a high-pressure job is too tired for sex, why you might want to reconsider cosleeping, and then Rebecca comes on to talk about what millennials are getting RIGHT! Check out the podcast extras here.

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Epidode 9: Two Keys to a Successful Marriage Mar 07, 2019

Today I talk about two small but vital things that can change your marriage from the ground up. Rebecca and I later discuss Dr. Ron Welch's book, 10 Choices Successful Couples Make, and I address some comments and questions from my readers about how society talks about sex, and why women often lose their libidos right before marriage. As always, if you want more you can check out the blog post for extras right here!

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Episode 8: Who's being deprived Feb 28, 2019

Today we take a look at the do not deprive verses; have we been using them all wrong? I also speak with my daughter about the risks of having a young youth pastor, as well as the critical differences between Christian counselling and biblical counselling. Check out the post here!

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Episode 7: How Our Bodies Work, Sexual Health, and More! Feb 21, 2019

Keeping with the theme of the month on my blog, we talk about sexual health, pelvic floor exams, testosterone levels, and flipping how sex is typically thought of in Christian communities. Speaking of community, my daughter and I talk about why community among millennials seems to be lacking, and what can be done about it. Check out the blog post here!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 6: Valentine's Day! Being a Sexually Confident Woman Feb 14, 2019

Today we talk about how to be a sexually confident woman, mutual sex, and more! My daughter joins me once again to talk about how modern marriage is being done differently in our Millennial Marriage Corner, and she addresses some reader comments about the psychological effects of porn. Check out the post here! Go to Covenant Eyes and use the code "TLHV," or use this link to get your first month free!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 5: Hot and Holy Sex, Control Freaks, and More! Feb 07, 2019

This week we are talking a lot about sex: How to let yourself be in the moment during sex, how to turn off the parts of your brain that distract you from enjoying sex, how to deepen intimacy with your partner, and how and when to try changing things up a bit. I also talk with my daughter about the student loan crisis and how college and university students can combat lifelong debt through their lifestyle! You can also check out the post that accompanies the podcast over at https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2019/02/podcast-hot-and-holy-sex/

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 4: You Don't Get to Be Selfish Jan 31, 2019

Today we talk about what it means when you say you regret having kids, why it's important to take our thoughts captive, how and when to rebuild trust after an affair, and more.
My daughter and I also take about the issue of millennials falling away from church. Tune in to hear it all, or go check out the post on my site: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2019/01/podcast-you-dont-get-to-be-selfish

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 3: Creating Conditions for Success in Marriage Jan 24, 2019

How can we create conditions for a thriving marriage? Can we actually find more joy by cutting out the time wasters in our life? Does "Love and Respect" actually point us toward Jesus? Today we will be talking about all this and more, including a guest appearance from my son-in-law and daughter to talk about how they handled video-games in their marriage. To read the post for this episode check out my site, To Love Honor and Vacuum!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 2: Love and Respect Jan 16, 2019

Today I take a really critical look at the Christian bestselling book "Love and Respect," giving you my opinion on some of the harmful messages it puts forward. Later, I talk about how divorce affects kids, what to do if your husband ogles other women, and I sit down with my daughter to discuss "Tidying Up with Marie Kondo." Check out the post for this episode here!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Episode 1: Health, Sex, and Wine Culture Jan 07, 2019

Welcome to the new To Love Honor and Vacuum Podcast! Today we are talking about creating healthy habits, the problem with mommy "mommy wine culture," and more! You can listen on my blog at https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2019/01/our-first-to-love-honor-and-vacuum-podcast/

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!
And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!
Check out her books:

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!
Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

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