A Millennial Mind

Latest Episodes:

Why Do So Many People Stay in Abusive Relationships? Frankie's Therapy Explains | AMM Minutes Sep 19, 2025

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Have you ever wondered why you or someone you know stayed so long in an abusive or toxic relationship? Well, there is actually a deeper, psychological reason for this rather than just 'putting up with it'. In this week's AMM Minutes, I sit down with Frankie from Frankie's Therapy to dive deep into the complex psychology of abusive relationships. We explore why people stay in harmful relationships, touching on the significant roles that childhood experiences and our nervous system play. We discuss trauma bonds, the gut-brain connection, and the physical reactions, such as IBS, that often accompany these relationships. Together, we underscore the importance of education and awareness as the first steps to breaking free from toxic relationships. We also talk about the need for a safe environment for healing, the crucial role of therapy in building self-worth, and the process of addressing childhood wounds. Join us as we unpack these intricate dynamics and offer valuable insights for those looking to reclaim their lives. What we will cover: 00:00 Understanding the Psychology of Abusive Relationships 00:10 The Role of Childhood and Nervous System in Trauma Bonds 00:44 The Illogical Nature of Staying in Abusive Relationships 02:39 Physical Reactions and the Brain-Body Connection 04:25 Creating a Safe Environment for Healing 05:29 Breaking the Cycle: Steps to Change Relationship Patterns 06:02 The Importance of Therapy and Secure Relationships 08:14 Addressing Triggers and Communication in Relationships 12:38 Steps to Rebuild Self-Worth After Trauma Bonds 13:19 Integrating the Shadow Self for Healing Key takeaways: 🌀 Chaos can feel like “home” because of childhood wiring 🎰 Trauma bonds are addictive, like a slot machine 💔 Abuse impacts both the mind and the body 🚪 Awareness + safety are the first steps to healing 🌱 Therapy rebuilds self-worth and healthy connections Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/X7_J7WuNCm4 🔔 Subscribe for more discussions on mental health, personal growth, and healing! / @shivanipaupodcast ✨ Connect with Millennial Mind ✨ Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amillennialmind Shivani Pau Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shivani.pau Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/shivanipaupodcast Performance Planner: https://my-performance-planner.myshopify.com/ Let Me Change Your Mind 🧠

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Trauma Bonds: Essential Steps To Break Free from A Narcissistic Partner | A Millennial Mind Sep 16, 2025

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Trauma bonding might not be what you thought it was...

In this eye-opening episode of 'A Millennial Mind', I sit down with Frankie, a registered psychotherapist and trauma specialist, to delve deep into the complex world of trauma and healing. We discuss how various attachment styles impact our relationships, why we might be drawn to toxic partners, and the importance of a secure environment for true recovery.

Frankie shares her unique approach, combining neuroscience with body-based therapies such as EMDR, CBT, and somatic healing. We also explore the concepts of trauma bonds, the impact of generational trauma, and practical steps for breaking unhealthy patterns. This episode is a must-watch for anyone looking to understand and heal from their traumatic experiences.

What we'll cover:

00:00 Understanding Toxic Relationships and Attachment Styles

00:52 Introduction to Trauma and Healing

01:08 Meet Frankie: The Trauma Specialist

03:46 Exploring Childhood Trauma and Rewiring the Brain

08:19 Generational Trauma and Its Impact

15:54 Defining Trauma Bonds and Attachment Styles

21:35 Navigating Toxic Relationships and Seeking Help

40:32 Understanding Trauma Bonds

41:41 Recognising Unhealthy Relationships

42:39 The Role of the Amygdala and Gut Health

45:05 Steps to Break Trauma Bonds

45:30 Therapy and Building Secure Relationships

52:14 Addressing Anger and the Shadow Self

01:00:47 Healing and Self-Love

01:06:13 Final Thoughts on Trauma and Healing ✨ Connect with Millennial Mind ✨ Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amillennialmind Shivani Pau Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shivani.pau Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/shivanipaupodcast Performance Planner: https://my-performance-planner.myshopify.com/ Let Me Change Your Mind 🧠🔔 Subscribe for more discussions on mental health, personal growth, and healing! / @shivanipaupodcast

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Toxic In-Laws: Save Your Marriage Before It's Too Late! | AMM Minutes Sep 12, 2025

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77% of marriages END because of In-Laws... Will yours be next? This week on Millennial Mind, I chat with therapist Harriet Shearsmith about toxic parenting, recognising if you experienced childhood trauma and how to break the cycle and become the parent you WANT to be, not what you HAD. This week's AMM Minutes highlight, Harriet and I discuss the complexities of in-law relationships. We explore how family dynamics can cause tension, the impact of childhood experiences, and the importance of maintaining authenticity and boundaries. Harriet shares valuable insights on recognising toxic versus healthy family environments and emphasises the role of emotional maturity in resolving conflicts. Catch the full episode for a deeper dive into these essential relationship dynamics. A breakdown of what we cover: 00:00 Introduction: The In-Law Relationship Dilemma 00:13 The Impact of In-Laws on Relationships 00:30 Navigating Family Dynamics and Childhood Trauma 02:14 Changing the Narrative with In-Laws 02:49 Family Enmeshment and Boundaries 09:11 Authenticity and Expectations in In-Law Relationships 12:09 Identifying Toxic vs. Healthy Family Dynamics 13:27 Conclusion: Handling Conflicts and Emotional Maturity Have you ever experienced a relationship breakdown due to toxic or bad relationships with your parents-in-law? Watch the full episode with Harriet here: https://youtu.be/wRBxZS-M0p4 🔔 Subscribe for more discussions on mental health, personal growth, and healing! / @shivanipaupodcast ✨ Connect with Millennial Mind ✨ Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amillennialmind Shivani Pau Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shivani.pau Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/shivanipaupodcast Performance Planner: https://my-performance-planner.myshopify.com/ Let Me Change Your Mind 🧠 Credits: Filmed & Edited by HAMLIN STUDIOS: https://www.instagram.com/hamlinstudios/?hl=en-gb

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End Generational Trauma: Heal Your Inner Child From Toxic Parenting | A Millennial Mind Sep 09, 2025

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"You aren't just an 'old soul', you had a toxic parent" Have you ever thought to yourself, 'This is just the way I am'? That could be a result of childhood trauma. In this revealing episode of 'A Millennial Mind,' I sit down with Harriet Shearsmith, an award-winning content creator and parenting advocate, to discuss the often hidden conversations surrounding family toxicity and breaking generational cycles. Harriet shares her insights on addressing difficult family dynamics, establishing healthy boundaries, and improving relationships with in-laws. We delve into the realities of family dysfunction, the impacts of parentification, and provide practical advice on overcoming guilt and obligation in familial relationships.

This week's episode includes a paid advertisement for Better Help. You can get your exclusive discount as a Millennial Mind listener using the link www.betterhelp.com/millennialmind to start your therapy journey and become your best self. In this episode, we will cover: 00:00 Introduction: The Unspoken Conversation 00:14 The Impact of In-Laws on Relationships 00:33 Personal Growth Through Family Dynamics 00:52 Sponsor Message: Lovable AI Platform 01:47 Introducing Today's Guest: Harriet Shearsmith 02:20 Breaking Generational Cycles 04:10 Understanding Cycle Breaking 04:44 Common Patterns in Family Dynamics 05:56 The Role of Early Childhood in Shaping Behaviour 06:35 Navigating Family Dysfunction 13:27 The Challenge of Confronting Parents 23:31 The Concept of Parentification 35:21 Estrangement and Reconciliation 38:01 Avoiding Confrontation: The Pain of Acceptance 38:58 Healing from Family Estrangement 40:31 The Power of Community Healing 41:19 Practical Tools for Emotional Release 43:41 Navigating In-Law Relationships 52:46 Setting Boundaries with In-Laws 55:57 Understanding Toxic vs. Healthy Family Dynamics 57:57 Choosing Between Partner and Parents 01:01:21 The Importance of Boundaries and Cycle Breaking 01:08:07 Conclusion and Final Thoughts **AD**This episode is sponsored by Lovable, an AI tool that lets you create beautiful, functional websites in minutes just by typing a few prompts. So if you’re planning a wedding, launching a brand, or just want a sleek site without the tech stress, Lovable makes it so simple.No tech skills needed. Just your ideas. Give it a go and start your free trial at https://lovable.dev#ad #LovablePartner 🔔 Subscribe for more discussions on mental health, personal growth, and healing! / @shivanipaupodcast ✨ Connect with Millennial Mind ✨ Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amillennialmind Shivani Pau Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shivani.pau Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/shivanipaupodcast Performance Planner: https://my-performance-planner.myshopify.com/ Let Me Change Your Mind 🧠

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Tell your boss how you REALLY feel with these easy steps! | AMM Minutes Sep 05, 2025

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In this small section of this week's bigger episode of 'A Millennial Mind,' I sit down with the insightful Heather Elkington to explore why people, especially Gen Z, frequently change jobs due to career growth and feeling undervalued. Heather shares compelling statistics from LinkedIn and discusses the inherent need for people-pleasing and its impact on professional life. We delve into the challenges of difficult conversations, the importance of being transparent about our needs, and how to identify and prioritise tasks that truly energise us. Watch the full episode here! 💖 https://youtu.be/jDmZmTIWkto 00:00 Understanding People Pleasing and Job Hopping 01:13 The Evolutionary Roots of People Pleasing 01:50 The Modern Dilemma of Saying Yes 03:26 The Cost of Avoiding Difficult Conversations 04:50 Evaluating Your Commitments 06:45 Defining and Leveraging Your Strengths 08:20 The Importance of Preparation and Caring 🔔 Subscribe for more discussions on mental health, personal growth, and healing! / @shivanipaupodcast ✨ Connect with Millennial Mind ✨ Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amillennialmind Shivani Pau Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shivani.pau Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/shivanipaupodcast Performance Planner: https://my-performance-planner.myshopify.com/ Let Me Change Your Mind 🧠

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Tell your boss how you REALLY feel with these easy steps! | AMM Minutes Sep 05, 2025

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Leadership Expert: "Gen Z Aren't LAZY, You just Don't Know How To Manage Them!" Sep 02, 2025

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In this episode of 'A Millennial Mind', I'm joined by Heather Elkington, a leadership expert and first-time author of 'Your Boss Era'. Heather shares her journey from studying outdated leadership models to redefining management in a small startup, growing it significantly, and finally navigating through the corporate world. We discuss the apparent differences in work ethics between millennials and Gen Z, the importance of transparency in the workplace, and why embracing hard conversations is crucial for effective leadership. Heather also sheds light on the importance of intentionality in work, the pitfalls of toxic meetings, and the significant shifts in workplace dynamics post-COVID. Tune in for a deep dive into managing Gen Z, fostering a high-performance culture, and the essential elements of being a great leader.

00:00 Introduction: Millennials vs. Gen Z Work Ethic

00:50 Meet Heather Elkington: Leadership Expert

03:04 Heather's Career Journey and Insights

06:05 The Impact of COVID on the Workplace

12:40 Transparency and Trust in Leadership

25:12 Balancing Work Hours and Burnout

37:19 The Challenge of People Pleasing and Career Growth

41:30 The Importance of Confrontation

41:57 Evaluating Your Social and Work Calendar

42:38 Balancing Wedding Planning and Work

43:46 Understanding and Leveraging Your Strengths

47:21 Emotional Intelligence and Energy Awareness

49:55 The Art of Confrontation: A Four-Step Framework

55:13 Transparency in the Workplace

01:00:29 The Reality of Entrepreneurship

01:04:10 The Challenges of Balancing Roles and Responsibilities

01:05:24 Advice for Managers and Employees

01:10:21 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

🔔 Subscribe for more discussions on mental health, personal growth, and healing! / @shivanipaupodcast ✨ Connect with Millennial Mind ✨ Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amillennialmind Shivani Pau Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shivani.pau Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/shivanipaupodcast Performance Planner: https://my-performance-planner.myshopify.com/ Let Me Change Your Mind 🧠

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Dr Tara: How Swinging And Sex Parties Can Save Your Relationship! | AMM Minutes Aug 15, 2025

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In this small section from this week's episode, I sit down with Dr. Tara to explore the fascinating world of swingers, especially within the Indian community. We break down the key differences between swingers and sex parties, the unique symbols used within the swinger community, and the vital importance of communication and consent in non-monogamous relationships. Dr. Tara also sheds light on overcoming societal stigma and the benefits of hiring a non-monogamy coach. Tune in for an insightful and candid discussion that challenges traditional relationship norms. 00:00 Introduction to Swinging in the Indian Community 01:17 Exploring Swingers and Their Signs 02:26 Rules and Communication in Swinging 04:30 Sex Parties: What to Expect 06:25 Navigating Non-Monogamous Relationships 10:04 Overcoming Stigma and Building Supportive Relationships 🔔 Subscribe for more discussions on mental health, personal growth, and healing! / @shivanipaupodcast ✨ Connect with Millennial Mind ✨ Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amillennialmind Shivani Pau Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shivani.pau Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/shivanipaupodcast Performance Planner: https://my-performance-planner.myshopify.com/ Let Me Change Your Mind 🧠

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Non-Monogamy: Is Sexual Monogamy the Downfall of Relationships? Sex & Relationship Expert Dr Tara Aug 12, 2025

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This week on A Millennial Mind, I'm joined by Dr. Tara, a leading expert in sex and relationships, to dive deep into the realities and misconceptions surrounding monogamy. We explore whether monogamy actually works, discuss the rise of ethical non-monogamy, and highlight the importance of communication and consent in all relationships. Dr. Tara also shares her personal journey from a conservative background to becoming a sex-positive influencer. What we'll cover: 00:00 Introduction: Does Monogamy Actually Work? 00:51 Sponsor Message: Lovable AI Platform 01:46 Exploring Modern Love and Relationships 03:04 Guest Introduction: Dr. Tara's Expertise 05:13 Defining Monogamy in Today's Society 07:21 The Challenges of Sexual Monogamy 09:03 Evolutionary Perspectives on Monogamy 14:24 Ethical Non-Monogamy and Self-Worth 22:03 Understanding Different Types of Non-Monogamy 30:48 Communicating Non-Monogamy in Relationships 32:29 The Goal of Parenting and Emotional Infidelity 35:25 Cultural Misconceptions and Upbringing 37:52 Journey to Sexual Liberation 40:55 Swingers and Sex Parties 45:37 Navigating Non-Monogamous Relationships 53:13 Respect and Value in Relationships 56:53 Concluding Thoughts on Monogamy and Non-Monogamy Whether you're curious, open-minded, or questioning traditional views on love and commitment, this episode promises to challenge your perspectives and encourage meaningful conversations. Join us as we uncover what it really means to build a relationship that reflects your values.

**AD** This episode is sponsored by Lovable, an AI tool that lets you create beautiful, functional websites in minutes just by typing a few prompts. So if you’re planning a wedding, launching a brand, or just want a sleek site without the tech stress , Lovable makes it so simple. No tech skills needed. Just your ideas. Give it a go and start your free trial at https://lovable.dev #ad #LovablePartner 🔔 Subscribe for more discussions on mental health, personal growth, and healing! / @shivanipaupodcast ✨ Connect with Millennial Mind ✨ Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amillennialmind Shivani Pau Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shivani.pau Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/shivanipaupodcast Performance Planner: https://my-performance-planner.myshopify.com/ Let Me Change Your Mind 🧠

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How To Be Successful But STILL Find Joy! | AMM Minutes Aug 08, 2025

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In this clip from this week's full episode, I sit down with Dr. Judith Joseph to explore the nuances of high functioning depression, a condition still not widely recognised by the medical community. We discuss the critical role of identifying early signs and symptoms, such as anhedonia and psychomotor agitation, before they escalate into a crisis. Dr. Joseph highlights the disparity between advancements in physical and mental health approaches and stresses the importance of incorporating daily moments of joy to achieve a balanced and fulfilling life. Tune in for practical advice on how to manage success without sacrificing happiness. 00:00 Understanding Anhedonia and High Functioning Depression 00:47 The Renaissance in Physical Health vs. Mental Health 01:31 Identifying Signs of High Functioning Depression 02:43 The Impact of Restlessness on Joy 06:16 Balancing Success and Joy 08:49 The Role of Gratitude and Other Emotions in Happiness 🔔 Subscribe for more discussions on mental health, personal growth, and healing! / @shivanipaupodcast ✨ Connect with Millennial Mind ✨ Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amillennialmind Shivani Pau Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shivani.pau Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/shivanipaupodcast Performance Planner: https://my-performance-planner.myshopify.com/ Let Me Change Your Mind 🧠

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