A Codependent Mind

Latest Episodes:

S7 - Relationship Tool #19: Relationship Boundaries Apr 16, 2025

Show notes

In this episode, we building on the Boundaries episode and talk more about Relationship Boundaries in particular. How can you use relationship boundaries do develop a greater sense of partnership? How do we find a balance between protecting the relationship from outside threats and having expansive enough boundaries that the relationship can continue to grow and thrive?

00:02:19 Relationship status
00:03:37 Family boundaries
00:06:35 Relationship work and boundaries
00:10:27 Relationship boundaries and stability
00:14:10 Outside resources
00:17:48 Rules vs boundaries
00:25:53 Inherited boundaries

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You can reach us at: http://codependentmind.com

The audiobook can be purchased from PayHip.

Get your Paperback or eBook copy on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CYH7TMZ1

S7 - Relationship Tool #18: Jealousy Apr 02, 2025

Show notes

In this episode, we take on the complex emotion of jealousy, exploring its potential as a constructive tool within relationships. As we have discussed in previous episodes emotions, including jealousy, are neither good nor bad but rather signals offering valuable insight. Learning how to use jealousy as a tool involves being able to interpret and apply the information that jealousy offers.

00:00:11 Jealousy
00:01:46 Not Feeling Jealousy
00:03:04 Jealousy in Polyamorous Relationships
00:06:38 Compersion
00:09:16 Jealousy-Like Behaviors
00:06:38 Compersion
00:11:34 Distinguishing Jealousy from Control
00:13:14 Jealousy as a Measurement Tool
00:19:38 Working Together Through Jealousy

Thank you for following, liking, reviewing - it helps other people find the podcast.

You can reach us at: http://codependentmind.com

Get your Paperback or eBook copy on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CYH7TMZ1

The full audiobook can be purchased on Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/Making-Re-Making-Codependent-Mind-Codependency/dp/B0D2LYSJC3/) and Spotify (https://open.spotify.com/show/4fzyWWfGTv34T5Hev7DsOP) and other platforms.

S7 - Relationship Tool #17: Entitlement Mar 20, 2025

Show notes

We have talked about entitlement quite a bit. Mostly about how Brian's narcissistic partners have used their feelings of entitlement as fuel to abuse and mistreat him and other people. In this episode we explore how the feelings of entitlement can be used productively to strengthen a relationship rather than degrade it.

You can reach us at: http://codependentmind.com

Get your Paperback or eBook copy on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CYH7TMZ1

Thank you for following, liking, reviewing - it helps other people find the podcast.

S7 - Relationship Tool #16: Sex Mar 05, 2025

Show notes

In Season 4, we had a four part series on codependency, trauma and sex. In this episode we focus on the role sex can play in a relationship For Brian, shifting from a performance mindset to a connection mindset made all the difference.

You can reach us at: http://codependentmind.com

Get your Paperback or eBook copy on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CYH7TMZ1

Thank you for following, liking, reviewing - it helps other people find the podcast.

S7 - Relationship Tool #15: Communication Feb 19, 2025

Show notes

Communication is vital to any relationship, but for those of us with relational trauma, it can be difficult to figure out what that means. If we aren't getting yelled at or insulted, it feels like good communication. Bad communication is when someone is disappointed or upset with us. Join us as we talk through Brian's new understanding of the role communication has played and can play in his relationships.

00:01:13 Communication as a relationship tool
00:03:15 Shame
00:17:35 Verbal violence and reactive abuse
00:23:01 Communication as a productive tool

You can reach us at: http://codependentmind.com

Get your Paperback or eBook copy on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CYH7TMZ1

Thank you for following, liking, reviewing - it helps other people find the podcast.

S7 - Relationship Tool #14: Attention Feb 05, 2025

Show notes

In this episode we discuss the relationship tool of attention. Paying attention can be difficult for people with relationship trauma and codependent habits. It was certainly challenging for Brian. Healing codependency has involved re-learning how to use the tool of attention, directing its use to building strong connections with people we care about who care about us.

00:01:22 Feeling close - making bids

00:04:01 Listening and attention

00:08:05 Attention and trauma

00:20:53 Good attention and bad attention

00:22:49 Productive attention

You can reach us at: http://codependentmind.com

Get your Paperback or eBook copy on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CYH7TMZ1

Thank you for following, liking, reviewing - it helps other people find the podcast.

S7 - Relationship Toolkit #13: Conflict Jan 22, 2025

Show notes

Brian spent most of his life being 'conflict avoidant' at least that is how he understood it. Really the powerlessness and shame that underlied his codependency meant that any interpersonal conflict felt existentially threatening. In this episode we discuss how to approach conflict differently such that it functions as a tool for learning and connection rather than destruction.

You can reach us at: http://codependentmind.com

Get your Paperback or eBook copy on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CYH7TMZ1

Thank you for following, liking, reviewing - it helps other people find the podcast.

S7 - Relationship Tool #12: Apology Jan 08, 2025

Show notes

Can you tell the difference between a genuine apology and apology theater? In this episode, we discuss to tool of apology - how narcissists use it, how Brian used it codependently and how to use it authentically to make long lasting repairs to relationships.

00:02:30 Apology Theater
00:03:20 Narcissistic Apologizing
00:07:19 DARVO
00:13:09 Codependent Apologizing
00:19:12 Authentic Apologizing
00:20:32 Empathetic Repair

You can reach us at: http://codependentmind.com

Get your Paperback or eBook copy on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CYH7TMZ1

Thank you for following, liking, reviewing - it helps other people find the podcast.

S7 - Relationship Toolkit # 11: Gratitude Dec 26, 2024

Show notes

Be grateful! We are told that at various points on our lives as was to cure numerous ails in our lives and in the world. In this episode, we talk about what gratitude can and cannot to for your relationships.

Thank you for following, liking, reviewing - it helps other people find the podcast.

You can reach us at: http://codependentmind.com

Get your Paperback or eBook copy on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CYH7TMZ1

S7 - Relationship Toolkit #10: Money Dec 11, 2024

Show notes

As discussed in a previous episode, Brian used money to fuel his codependent habits. Healing from codependency also involved developing a new understanding of the role money plays in his life and his relationship. In this episode, we discuss what kind of tool money is and what challenges and opportunities it presents.

In this episode:

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs (Wikipedia)

00:01:01 Financial Codependency
00:04:42 Financial Dependency
00:07:56 The Tool of Money
00:10:45 What is Money for?
00:22:33 The Monetary Value of Relationships
00:32:27 Questions to Ask Before You Spend

You can reach us at: http://codependentmind.com

Get your Paperback or eBook copy on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CYH7TMZ1

Thank you for following, liking, reviewing - it helps other people find the podcast.

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