19 Nocturne Boulevard

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19 Nocturne Boulevard reissue of the week: MURDER WARD Oct 13, 2022

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[NOTE: Outdated and non-PC terminology regarding mental issues] Written and produced by Julie Hoverson "Not guilty by reason of insanity" sounds like an easy out to murderer Edmund - but when he checks into Dr. Larson's mental hospital, he gets much more than he bargained for. Cast List Edmund/Achilles - Kim Turner Preacher Ronald - Pat McNally Rose Connelly - Joy Jackson Hector - Cole Hornaday Dr. Larson - Marge Lutton Terrance - Greg Porter Lawyer - Sigmund Hoverson Ape man - Reynaud LeBoeuf District Attorney - Melinda Mains Also heard - Julie Hoverson Music: Kevin MacLeod (Incompetech.com) Editing and Sound: Julie Hoverson Sound effects found on Soundsnap.com Cover Photos: Front - Witek Burkiewicz (via Stock Xchange.com) "What kind of a place is it? Why, it's an insane asylum - can't you tell? Where else would you find... a murderer?" ************************************************************************ MURDER WARD Cast: OLIVIA, the host EDMUND Rafelsen (M/30s) - evil alter ego "Achilles" RUDY Horton, Esq. (M/50s) - Edmund's lawyer TERRANCE (M/20s) - the guard ROSE Connelly (F/20s) - paranoid, hears voices HECTOR Wilson (M/20s) - phobic, fears women RONALD Tomlinson (M/40s) - believes he's obeying god VINCENT (M/any) - frightening, violently crazy DOCTOR Sara LARSON (F/40s) - psychiatrist CROWD, GIRL, MOM, KID - any voices DISTRICT ATTORNEY - District Attorney OLIVIA Did you have any trouble finding it? What do you mean, what kind of a place is it? Why, it's an insane asylum, can't you tell? Where else would you find ...a murderer? MUSIC OLIVIA [voice over] "Not guilty by reason of insanity". A legal defense, often misused to try and get a lighter sentence for a heinous crime. And what does it really mean? In a nutshell-- SCENE 1. OFFICE RUDY --it means at the time you did what you did, you didn't - couldn't - understand what you were doing was wrong. It's a tough sell, Ed. No matter what the movies make out, most juries just don't believe-- EDMUND [cultured voice] Mr. Horton, I would prefer that you address me directly when you speak to me. RUDY Ed, this isn't funny. EDMUND There is no "Ed" here. Edmund, however, is sleeping. Mr. Horton, if you cannot bring yourself to use my name, at least-- RUDY OK, look-- SOUND rustling paper RUDY [disapproving] --Achilles - I-- EDMUND And I am not insane. Nor is Edmund. I knew perfectly well what I did was wrong. All those pretty little women. I was really doing them a favor. The world is so harsh. RUDY I-- Look, Achilles, let me talk to Ed for a while. It's his name on the docket, after all. EDMUND Very well. I shall rouse him for you. [voice changes to more lower class - after this, he speaks as Ed any time not otherwise noted] Yeah? What is it shyster? Hey! Why's my cigarette all burned down all of a sudden? MUSIC SCENE 2. COURTROOM crowd [MURMURS] SOUND gavel DOCTOR Larson Ahem. As I said, after a thorough examination, I have concluded that while Edmund is nominally the dominant persona, his alter ego Achilles was the one who actually committed... [fade out] MUSIC SCENE 3. ASYLUM HALLWAY sound footsteps on tile. jingle of keys TERRANCE Guess you think you're lucky, eh? SOUND door unlocks EDMUND And why's that? SOUND door opens inmates [AD LIB, MURMURS "IN CHARACTER" see monologues at end] EDMUND What the--? TERRANCE Your new pals, bub. As I was saying, I guess you THINK you're lucky, getting off without the death penalty and all. Come on. SOUND slow footsteps EDMUND Look mac, I thought I was gonna have a private room-- TERRANCE These are the induction cells. Once the Doc gets a handle on your syko-sees, she'll move you to someplace appropriate. EDMUND She? SOUND footsteps stop TERRANCE Sure. You saw her at your trial - Doctor Larson. She's got some big-brain new ideas about how ta deal with luniacks like yourself. SOUND keys JINGLE. TERRANCE Your room, misshur. SOUND cell unlocks, DOOR opens. EDMUND But, but there's a DAME in here. Ain't we supposed to be-- TERRANCE Funny thing about that. Dames go off the pier too. And we're overbooked in that department. She probly won't be here long. Besides, she's waaaay over there. She can't hurt you. SOUND footsteps HECTOR [fading in - urgent milktoast] --he's right. She shouldn't be in here. You don't understand the damage they can do. [fading] Women are-- RONALD [fading in, hissing whispers] ‑‑have new instructions. It is time for you to let me go. HE has declared it. [fading] My presence is required-- SOUND footsteps end, jingle of keys ROSE [fading in] --staring at me. Are you sure they can't get out? Please, would you check the locks again? [fading] I'm so afraid-- SOUND door opens and shuts. inmates [MOMENT OF SILENCE] ROSE [sigh] RONALD [normal, husky voice] Hey. New guy. Got any smokes? EDMUND What? RONALD Smokes. EDMUND Even if I did, they wouldn't let us have any matches, would they? ROSE [hard dame] Who are you kidding? You can get pretty much anything in here, just as long as you know who to ask. And HOW to ask it. EDMUND Funny, you sounded crazy a minute ago. ROSE [snort] Yeah, well. We all have our bad days... [raising voice slightly] And some never have good days, right Heck? HECTOR Wicked Jezebel. You shouldn't be here. ROSE [to Edmund] We're pretty sure that Hector there is the real McCoy. RONALD Now, now. We're ALL nuts. We must keep that in mind. ROSE Yeah, but THAT guy - he just never lets up! EDMUND But if you ain't crazy-- RONALD [chuckles] Court says we are. Even with moments of lucidity, well-- What can they do? EDMUND What if they're listening? Recording, maybe? ROSE I thought I was the one with the persecution complex. RONALD I've been trying to catch them for over a month. Nothing doing. They're just not interested. Besides, once the jury brings down the verdict, the court has to keep you locked you up until they cure you. ROSE OR you give up and confess. RONALD Oh, sure. [sarcastic] I'll just admit it was all phony, take my lumps and go to the Chair! EDMUND What if one of you decides to squeal? ROSE [laughs] Who'd take the word of a head case? HECTOR If you try and spit your fiendish poison at me, fiend, I shall find a way to defend myself! rose [disgusted sigh] I am real sick of him. RONALD He probably had a bad mother. ROSE Yeah? Well who didn't? EDMUND The guard said I'd only be in here for a little while-- RONALD Yeah. Us too. I've now been here for two months, and Rose-- ROSE Rose Connelly, p'raps you hearda me? EDMUND YOU'RE Rose Connelly? rose [pleased] Yeah. The one and only. My sister's got a scrapbook of clippings for me. She can't bring them, but she tells me all about them when she visits. RONALD Rose's been here about three weeks. Since her sentencing. EDMUND And Romeo over there? ROSE Hah! Cute. Two incredibly long days. EDMUND And...this is it? RONALD What? EDMUND This is what we get? I mean, in prison they at least get some kind of exercise and stuff. Geneva convention, and all that. ROSE Ah, it's just temporary. I guess the loony bins are all booked up right now. [giggles] Say, maybe there's a convention in town. RONALD Don't worry. We get to talk to the Doc each day, regular as clockwork. She's a sweetheart, but I bet Hector isn't making any improvements. HECTOR [matter of fact] Doctor? She's the devil! I refuse to give her the satisfaction of a single word. ROSE [derisive] "Doctor," hah! She's the one that let me get myself in here. I thought it would be real tough to fool a head shrinker, but boy was she a pushover. Always so sympathetic. So understanding. She don't deserve to be a nurse, let alone a doctor. RONALD Funny, she testified at my trial too. Hmm. Guess we both got lucky. EDMUND [absently] Yeah. Lucky. MUSIC SCENE 4. DOCTOR'S OFFICE DOCTOR Larson Edmund, I can't help you if you refuse to cooperate. EDMUND [as Achilles] I am trying my utmost, madam, but he simply refuses to converse with you. DOCTOR Larson [not batting an eye] Then let's you and I talk, Achilles. You claim that the killing was-- EDMUND [as Achilles] Killings. Let us be precise. Mercy killings, actually. [fading] I felt so kindly‑‑ MUSIC SCENE 5. CELL HALLWAY SOUND SNORING from all inmates SOUND scritching, like a mouse trying to bore through wood EDMUND [snores, then wakes, frightened] Ah! ah! What? [NOTE LOW VOICES] RONALD Shh. You'll wake the neighbors. EDMUND What was that? But that noise - it's-- RONALD I know. We call him Mortimer. EDMUND This place has mice? RONALD We haven't seen him, so we're not sure what particular type of rodentia he is, but we sure hear him. Particularly when it's quiet. EDMUND But how can I get any sleep--? RONALD You get used to it. We all get used to lots of things. HECTOR [coming awake with a scream] Aaagh! Off me, you fiend from hell! No! No! [goes on incoherently] ROSE [Wakes with a whimper] [NOTE VOICES NORMAL] EDMUND That'll take some getting used to. RONALD Yeah. MUSIC SCENE 6. DOCTOR'S OFFICE DOCTOR Larson Edmund, why don't you tell me about your mother? EDMUND [as Edmund] My mother? What - why? My mother's fine. She got nothing to do with this. DOCTOR Larson Do you love your mother? EDMUND Well, o'course. I mean, you gotta - it's just nature, ain't it? [trailing off with] No matter... what... she does t'you. DOCTOR LARSON What did your mother do, Edmund? [beat] Edmund? EDMUND [as Achilles] It's no use, doctor. He has gone into retreat. MUSIC SCENE 7. CELL HALLWAY SOUND cell block door opens INMATES [begin their various muttering] TERRANCE This way folks. Step lively now. SOUND CROWD MURMURS, LOTS OF SHUFFLING FOOTSTEPS HECTOR What is this? How dare you bring in more of THEM! Mischief! Mischief! ROSE [aside, shocked, not pretending] What's a kid doing here? MOM Tommy, now look at that - that's what crazy folks look like. KID Gee. TERRANCE [like a carnival barker] Not just any crazy folks, lady, these are all crazy murderers! CROWD Ooh! TERRANCE Each and every one of these... people... has committed the most heinous of crimes! GIRL Wow, look at that one over there, he's kinda cute--! HECTOR Harlot! Harlot! Do not approach, or I must smite thee down! GIRL What's smite - is that bad? TERRANCE Best to stay away from the bars. Now, this here is Rose Connolly, known throughout the entire state-- ROSE [seriously disturbed] Stop looking at me! How can you--? Get them outta here, wontcha? TERRANCE --For killing her husband while under the inexorable compulsion of a persecution complex. ROSE This isn't right! GIRL What's inexcorable - is that bad? MOM Killing your man - now, that ain't right! RONALD Come, come, now - leave her, she is unimportant, aha! But I - I have a message to give unto you. MUSIC - TIME PASSES SCENE 8. CELL HALLWAY SOUND CROWD WANDERS OUT, DOOR SHUTS ROSE [Breaks down] Oh! RONALD How mortifying. ROSE [sobbing] Like animals in a zoo. EDMUND I'm surprised they didn't start throwing us peanuts. RONALD I tried to get them away from you, Rose, I really did. But big headlines trumps preaching, I guess. HECTOR This should stand as a warning to you, woman! You are never alone! There is always a witness to the wicked things you do! ROSE I have had just about enough out of you! You-- noisy little weasel! We girls, we're just folks just like everybody else - you have no right to-- RONALD Rose, calm down. Shh. It's not going to help. EDMUND Yeah. For crying out loud, we've made it this far, how much worse can it get? MUSIC SCENE 9. DOCTOR'S OFFICE EDMUND [as Achilles] It was mortifying for Edmund, Doctor. I think he may have suffered a terrible setback. DOCTOR Now, the tours are conducted for very good reasons. EDMUND What, pray tell? DOCTOR It's really not something we should be discussing, but - since you are so concerned - First, it is to show the public that this facility is on the up and up - you've certainly heard of the old fashioned "asylums" where inmates were neglected and beaten? This way, nothing is hidden - so no abuses occur-- EDMUND [almost breaking character] No abuses? DOCTOR Also, it helps to make insanity seem less frightening to the general public. Most people have seen insanity only in movies - where it is so inevitably terribly destructive and dangerous. This way, they see the human side of it. EDMUND [as Achilles] I see that your intentions are admirable, but I can't help but think that a trip through the violent ward would merely reinforce the negative popular belief? DOCTOR That's why the tour through the violent ward is only for serious students of psychology. [fading] You must have misunderstood. MUSIC SCENE 10. CELL HALLWAY SOUND cell block door opens RONALD And the lord said-- ROSE Can't you make them stop staring? SOUND footsteps, door closes inmates [CONTINUE MURMURS] sound cell door opens EDMUND [Achilles] Thank you, my good man. SOUND cell door closes, footsteps. then a scuffle! HECTOR [struggling] Give it to me! TERRANCE [struggling] Leave go, you ape! HECTOR [struggling] I have to-- oof! [air knocked out of him] SOUND two footsteps. dusting off hands TERRANCE That'll show you to tangle with me. HECTOR [weak] Yes, but ... I have your gun. ROSE [scream] EDMUND Stop him Ron - you're closest! SOUND Gun shot TERRANCE Aargh! ROSE Oh no! No! HECTOR [calm and creepy] The next one is for you, Delilah! Salome! ROSE Me? I didn't do anything-- [gasps] inmates [GASP] SOUND CLICK RONALD Who put out the lights? HECTOR It was the monster - Lilith, devourer of infants! SOUND Pssst of gas EDMUND Do you... hear... [getting sleepy] Some...thing...? MUSIC - TIME PASSES SCENE 11. CELL HALLWAY EDMUND [waking up] Hmm? Wha--? RONALD [groans] ROSE [wakes with a startled gasp] EDMUND What happened? RONALD At least the lights are back on. ROSE But I don't wanna open my eyes. EDMUND Look! RONALD Where? [disgust] Oh! ROSE Just ... just tell me, I don't wanna-- EDMUND Better you don't look, Rose. [muttered] That's a lot of blood. RONALD [muttered back] You don't lose that much and walk away. Too bad. Terry was a right guy. ROSE Blood? Oh, no! Hector? Where is he? He's going to shoot me! RONALD Calm down, Rose. He's gone. EDMUND So's the guard. There's just the... blood. SOUND CLICK - LOUDSPEAKER ON DOCTOR Larson [filter/loudspeaker] We apologize for the inconvenience of using a psychotropic gas on you. EDMUND Gas? DOCTOR Larson [filter] Rest assured there will be no long-term effects. EDMUND That was what I heard. DOCTOR Larson [filter] If you are feeling groggy or your head aches, sit quietly, breath deeply, and it will pass. SOUND CLICK - LOUDSPEAKER OFF ROSE [breathing deeply but raggedly] It wasn't our fault - they haveta know that! EDMUND It's not like we're a bunch of babes in the woods. They may know what happened and just not care. ROSE So just because I killed my husband, I;m gonna - I'm gonna hurt a random stranger? That's silly. RONALD [chuckles] No. Just insane, m'dear. MUSIC SCENE 12. OFFICE RUDY I don't see any way to-- EDMUND What? This is cruel and inhumane-- RUDY You don't understand, Ed. [dry] It is Ed I'm talking to, isn't it? EDMUND Yeah, yeah. RUDY You are not a free citizen. You've been consigned to DOCTOR Larson's care, and-- EDMUND Now you don't understand, Horton. A guard was killed last night, in our block-- RUDY You didn't--? EDMUND Nah, it was this loony who thinks women are all evil. RUDY Which, of course, you don't--? EDMUND This ain't the time for…

Full show notes at the publisher

Atomic Julie - THE FEELING by Roger D. Aycock Oct 11, 2022

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Might be harder to explore space than we expect.

19 Nocturne Boulevard reissue of the week: IDIOT BOX Oct 06, 2022

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Sometimes "reality" TV takes it one step too far. Sometimes two steps. Sometimes a flying leap. WARNING: IMPLIED VIOLENCE AND TORTURE Written and Produced by Julie Hoverson Cast List Announcer - Frankenvox Alison - Beverly Poole Bart - Michael Faigenblum Carl - Mike Campbell Debbie - E. Vickery Ms. Sheldon - Sharon Delong Tanya - Tanja Milojevic Mom - Shayla Conrad-Simms Dad - Reynaud LeBoeuf Son - Eli Nilsson Fred - Joel Harvey Bob - Glen Hallstrom Helen - Helen Edwards June - Shelbi McIntyre Kathy - Kim Poole Additional Voices - Russell Gold; Julie Hoverson Music by Brian Bochicchio (Seraphic Panoply) Show theme: Kevin MacLeod (Incompetech.com) Editing and Sound: Julie Hoverson Cover Design: Brett Coulstock "What kind of a place is it? Why it's right here, right now, can't you tell?" ************************************************************************ IDIOT BOX Cast: [Opening credits - Olivia] TV Announcer Alison, chipper Bart, sullen Carl, upbeat, hearty Debbie, nervous, angry underneath Ms. Sheldon, executive producer Tanya, in the sound booth Family - mom, dad, teenage son Bar - Fred, Bob, Helen Dorm - June, Kathy OLIVIA Did you have any trouble finding it? What do you mean, what kind of a place is it? Why, it's right here, right now, can't you tell? MUSIC SOUND THEME MUSIC ANNOUNCER last week, in the record-breaking debut of The Box, we were introduced to our four contestants: ALISON [chipper] I'm Alison, from Santa Monica. Hi, mom! CARL [hearty] Carl, from Atlanta - home of the Cartoon Channel!! DEBBIE [nervous] Debbie, from Salem. Uh, Oregon. [quickly] Salem Oregon. BART [sullen] Bart, Minneapolis [disgusted sigh]. ANNOUNCER The rules are on the screen now for all you viewers out there, to cover the formalities. They are also available on our website at [spelled out superfast] w-w-w-dot-s-k-i-n-n-e-r-i-d-i-o-t-b-o-x-dot-com. AMB FAMILY LIVING ROOM SOUND CHIPS EATEN FROM BAG ANNOUNCER [TV] And after this brief message, we'll show you the results of last week's voting. SOUND CLICK OF REMOTE SOUND POPCORN POPPING IN MICROWAVE MOM [off] You better not have turned that off, hun! SOUND MICROWAVE DINGS DAD Just muted. Sick of all these ads for freaking erectile dysfunction. If anything's going to give a guy man-trouble, it's having to watch all those damn ads. SOUND POURING POPCORN INTO BOWL SON Ew, dad. T-M-I. MOM [coming in, munching popcorn] The one I hate is that smiling guy. His wife just looks so scared all the time. Almost as creepy as the King. SON Am I adopted? Please say yes. DAD Ooops, back on! ANNOUNCER [TV] Did everyone vote? MOM I certainly did! SON Mom? [disgusted noise] Why? ANNOUNCER [TV] The voting is closed, the tabulations have been made, and the scores are coming up on the screen now. MOM [over the announcer] Why not? I want that nice young girl - the blonde - to win. She's very wholesome. ANNOUNCER [TV] And it looks like today Alison has been selected! MOM [satisfied] There! ANNOUNCER We have Alison in the studio now - let's see how she takes it. SOUND LIGHT MUSIC, ON THE TV SEGUES INTO REALITY ANNOUNCER Hello Alison! Say hi to everyone! ALISON Hi! Hi mom! Dad! ANNOUNCER How's the first week been treating you? ALISON This place is great! ANNOUNCER Throughout the show, we'll be showing some of the fun you four have been having. Now, why don't you tell me what you think of your new friends? ALISON Oh, wow - everyone's really great. ANNOUNCER Don't you find Bart a bit... isolated? ALISON He's just self-contained. I'm sure he's a good guy, he just doesn't open up real easily. ANNOUNCER And Debbie? ALISON She's shy - a lot like my sister. Hi Vickie!! ANNOUNCER [chuckles] That's great. ALISON And Carl - well, he's a blast. He's always thinking up great stuff to do. ANNOUNCER Yesterday you had sole access to the Dairy Dan Amusement park. ALISON Oh, man - that was awesome! They closed the gates and we got to ride all the rides all day long - no lines, no crowds! Woo! ANNOUNCER You've been chosen. ALISON Woo! [stumbles] I - What? What? SOUND CONTROL BOOTH ANNOUNCER [TV] Please step into the box. ALISON [TV - gasp, then steels herself] Right. [somewhat bitter] Thanks America. SHELDON That's the shot - tight in on 2, now 3 - yes! Keep her face centered until she shuts the door. TANYA Got it. SHELDON Okay, keep the volume low on that. It's early yet - don't want to wear out the viewers... SOUND [TV] ELECTRIC SHOCK NOISE, SOMEWHAT BRIEF ALISON [TV - short scream] ANNOUNCER [TV] We'll be right back after the break to find out what today's challenge will be. AMB DORM ROOM JUNE Omigod! Omigod! Did you see that? KATHY [distracted] Hmm? No but I sure heard it - did they just do what I think they did? JUNE They just shocked the crap out of the blonde chick! KATHY Was there actually crap? JUNE [duh] She was in the box. Shh. It's coming back on. SOUND TV TURNS UP ANNOUNCER [TV] We'll be right back with more of The Box after these messages. SOUND SOUND DOWN AGAIN JUNE I hate when they do that. KATHY Shock someone? JUNE No, have the logo come up and make you think the show is back on. KATHY Yeah, that's much worse. JUNE You know what I mean! It was totally mean that they shocked her - she's the one who got the most votes! KATHY Isn't that what everyone was voting for? JUNE No! At least, I don't think so - I mean, I thought it was voting for who would win something cool. I ...voted for her. KATHY You actually voted? JUNE On the website, yeah. KATHY Of course there's a website. Maybe you should read the fine print. JUNE Oh, oh! It's back on! Jeez, look at her poor hair! SOUND TV UP ANNOUNCER [TV] Back to the interview room, to hear from Alison. ANNOUNCER [real] Before we go on, I need to point out, this is the only time you can choose to leave the show. Are you prepared to stay? ALISON [gulps, then quiet] Yes. [clears her throat, louder] Yes. [very shaky] That wasn't so bad. ANNOUNCER Excellent. Now I believe you recently graduated from college, Alison. What did you get your degree in? AMB BAR ALISON [TV] I'm a liberal arts major, with a minor in art history. FRED So she's unemployed, eh? ANNOUNCER [TV] And you are engaged to be married? BOB Too bad. All the cute ones are taken. Even with that weird hairdo. SOUND TV SWITCHED TO SPORTS FRED Hey, we were watching that! HELEN Why? It's awful, letting them mess with people on TV like that! FRED [scornful] It's not real. BOB Course it is - it even has a website! HELEN Puh-leez. Lots of things have websites that aren't real. BOB Name one. HELEN Pamela Anderson's boobs. FRED She got you there, pal. BOB C'mon - just switch it back long enough to see what today's challenge is? Please? HELEN Ya big softie, you. SOUND TV CHANGES BACK ANNOUNCER [TV] Carl, you got the second most votes this week - Do you have anything to say to the viewers at home? Obviously you're doing something right, to get so many votes. CARL [TV] I think it's just my sunny personality, Bob. People like winners, and I am a winner. AMB LIVING ROOM SON Weiner. MOM Language! SON [dismissive noise] Doesn't that dipstick know that most votes gets zapped? DAD Maybe he doesn't - they might not tell THEM everything, either. Makes sense. Why else would they be so excited? SON But that sucks! That sucks big time! Here they are, trying to be all cool and get people to vote for them, and they're like masterminding their own torture or something. DAD It's just a game, No one really gets hurt. MOM Well, I was kind of upset that Alicia-- SON Alison. MOM Yes, that she got shocked. I didn't know that voting for her would do that. I kind of feel bad now. SON Well, don't vote for her next time. MOM I certainly won't! ANNOUNCER [on TV] Well, we've spoken to two of our four contestants, and the voting is open for the halftime winner. Go on line now or text to-- SOUND TV MUTES, AMB/DORM SOUND COMPUTER KEYS KATHY What are you doing? JUNE Voting. KATHY Vicious much? JUNE No! I - I just don't want her to have to get shocked again. Damn! It only lets me choose one of those two - not the other guy. KATHY So you want to see him get shocked? JUNE Well, no, but I like him the least. KATHY Just cause you don't think he's cute. SOUND ONE LAST KEY JUNE Um, there. KATHY So who'd you vote for? JUNE The guy - the nice one - of course. I like him, too, but I don't want her to get shocked again. SOUND TV UP AGAIN ANNOUNCER [TV] Regular text messaging fees apply. And now‑‑ SOUND OMINOUS MUSIC ROLLS IN ANNOUNCER [TV, ominous] The moment in the spotlight. Will it be Alison or Carl? The voting closes in three minutes, so hurry up and make your vote count - if the lines are overloaded, make sure and try back - but be quick. [normal] While we wait, let's watch some clips from the preliminary interviews with the other two contestants. MUSIC ANNOUNCER [TV] And what are you studying? DEBBIE [TV] I'm - um - a poli sci major. FRED So she's gonna end up unemployed too. BOB Whatever happened to good old trade schools? FRED They're still around - just the trades aren't. You seen any cobblers in the U.S. of A recently? Nope. It's all farmed out to Pakistan and Koala Lumper. HELEN Lumpur. FRED Sez you. HELEN I can turn it off, you know. BOB Yeah - see now Helen here's got a job that can't be farmed out - long as there's guys like us, there's always gonna be bars, eh? FRED Until they invent a mixology robot. BOB Hey, the lights are flashing on the screen, must be something important. SOUND TV TURNED UP. SOUND OMINOUS MUSIC INTENSIFIES ANNOUNCER [TV; evil "suspense" pacing] And the one who got the most halftime votes. Will it be Alison, our stoic liberal arts major? JUNE Yes, yes - come on come on!!! ANNOUNCER [TV] Or Carl, who tutors children with learning disabilities. MOM Oh, that's awful! SON Awful? That he works with retarded kids? MOM [almost a whisper] That I voted for him. ANNOUNCER [TV] And the one who got the most votes in the 8-minute half-time poll was-- SOUND HEAVY DRUMBEAT ANNOUNCER [TV] Was-- SOUND HEAVY DRUMBEAT KATHY Look at how much she's sweating! JUNE You'd sweat too if you just got shocked! ANNOUNCER [TV] is -Carl! JUNE Whew! KATHY Shh. Let's see what happens. ANNOUNCER [TV] This means that at the end of tonight's show, Carl will be up against the second half winner in a showdown to see who gets a million dollars sent to the charity of their choice. HELEN Waitaminute - she gets shocked and he gets a chance to win big bucks? That's so not fair! FRED That's the way it is. Women always getting the short stick. HELEN Especially when they're dating you, eh? BOB [laughs, tried to stop] FRED Yeah, yeah - you can joke now, but I'll give you 70-30 odds that the other winner is that other guy. BOB The grouch? FRED Yup. Is it a bet? BOB Fifty bucks? FRED Whoah, whoah! Let's not get carried away here, now. MUSIC - OPENING THEME, PLAYS FOR A MOMENT ANNOUNCER Entering week five of The Box, you can see the ratings posted for our four contenders. [hushed] Last week, it looked as though Debbie had finally broken-- DEBBIE [TV] I hate it! I hate you all! You can all just go and-- SOUND LONG SERIES OF BLEEPED WORDS SOUND ZAPPING AND SCREAMING UNDER NEXT LINE ANNOUNCER But after her trip to the box, she refused to cry off. DEBBIE [TV] [breathing heavily and gulping] No [gasp] way! [gasp] You don't [gasp] get rid of me [long shaky breath] that easily. [sob] ANNOUNCER And now, a new week - and what was this week's challenge? STUDIO AUDIENCE Fasting! ANNOUNCER Yes, fasting. Whoever could go the longest without eating even a single bite of food got a free pass this week‑‑ ANNOUNCER [TV] --and we'll find out who managed that in just a moment - after a few words from our sponsors. SOUND CLICK, SOUND OFF JUNE [urging] C'mon Debbie! KATHY Debbie? Hah. She's got no body fat to start with. Bart has a much better chance of surviving-- JUNE Don't say that! You just like him cause you know I don't! KATHY I root for the underdog. It's a principal. And no one likes that poor bastard. JUNE If no one likes him, how come Debbie's the one always getting shocked, huh? [almost a sob] Huh? ANNOUNCER [TV] Let's bring our four contestants out on stage to hear who's going to be free and clear for another week. Alison-- SOUND MUSIC UP, DOOR OPENS, SHAKY FOOTSTEPS ANNOUNCER [real] Alison, how are you feeling? ALISON [trying to be perky] Not too bad. I made it almost three whole days on nothing but water. ANNOUNCER But then you lost it? ALISON [heavy sigh] Yeah, I had to give in and get something. [resigned] I figured fine - just put me in the box. At least that eventually ends. ANNOUNCER Thank you, Alison. Now go over to the isolation booth while we talk with each of your friends. ALISON [venomous] Friends? Hah! ANNOUNCER [TV, confidential] She needs to learn to be careful about trading today's pain for tomorrow's - what she doesn't know is we've [ramping up] turned the voltage up another notch! AUDIENCE [TV, CHEERS] HELEN This just keeps getting worse. It has to be against the law. BOB Oh, come on. They signed waivers, didn't they? Plus, it's all fake - like wrestling. Seriously. Even if they did do this stuff, they have to have doctors and all on staff - make sure no one really gets hurt. SOUND UNWRAPPING AND OPENING A FORTUNE COOKIE FRED Hey, listen to this - "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." BOB Figures the Chinese would think of that first. FRED Nah. The Chinese didn't make that up. HELEN Then who did say it? FRED [immediate] Thomas Jefferson. BOB I don't think so. FRED Yeah? And who do you think it was? BOB Some Greek philosopher or other. [idea] Julius Caesar! HELEN You guys make your bet, I'll call Jonesy on the next commercial and he can google it. SOUND TV TURNS UP ANNOUNCER [TV] So Bart, you made it the longest without eating - you have any special tips for the viewers out there on how you did it? BART [real] Huh? ANNOUNCER Any tips? We'll give you a minute - these moments of uncertainty are just further proof that our show is live and unedited. While Bart ponders this, I'll recap - Alison gave into her craven need for food first, followed by Carl and Debbie - in a virtual photo finish, where Debbie held out for one millisecond longer than Carl. Good going Debbie! BART I hate you. ANNOUNCER Hmm? What's that? BART I hate you and all you stand for. ANNOUNCER Do I hear an opt-out coming? For those of you just tuning in, during this episode and this episode alone, any of our four contestants can opt out at any time - not just immediately following a trip into the Box. So Bart, are you-- SOUND A BEEP TRIES TO CUT HIM OFF ON THE FIRST WORD BART Fuck you! You can't get rid of me that easily. BART [TV] I don't care how many times you drug me and try to get me to bow down to the corporate machine! You and all you people at home - you are sadistic bastards, but I'm here for the long haul - And when I finish, whether I win or not, I will be traveling around the country demanding the pound of flesh each and every one of you bastards owe me!!! KATHY For god's sake, turn it off. JUNE No, he's making a valid point. We shouldn't be party to this. KATHY The very act of watching it validates it. JUNE No. I'm only doing this to bear witness. KATHY The advertisers don't care. They just want to you to watch. JUNE Well, I won't vote any more. KATHY Then you can't complain when your favorite gets zapped. JUNE [upset] Oh hell! ANNOUNCER [TV]…

Full show notes at the publisher

19 Nocturne Boulevard reissue episode of the week: LOUP NOIR Sep 29, 2022

Show notes

MATURE THEMES AND VIOLENCE When a drifter wanders into a small town - things may get a little... hairy. Written by Julie Hoverson Cast List Marjorie Baines - Violet Crestley Lou Garreau - Reynaud LeBoeuf Edith Baines - Eleice Krawiec Dennis Cooperman - David Collins-Rivera (Lostinbronx) Skitch - Justin Grubbs Children - Katy and Athena Music by Thomas Cusack / [Leafy Lane Productions] Editing and Sound: Julie Hoverson and Justin Charles [1st Draft Productions] Cover Design: Charles Austin Miller "What kind of a place is it? Why it's small town in wartime in the middle of the last century, can't you tell?" ******************************************************************** Loup Noir Cast: [Opening credits - Olivia] Lou Garreau, forlorn drifter MARJORIE Baines, precocious teen Edith Baines, mom Skitch, thug Officer Dennis Cooperman, Mom's old flame OLIVIA Did you have any trouble finding it? What do you mean, what kind of a place is it? Why, it's a small town street, during world war two, can't you tell? MUSIC AMB BIRDS, PUSH LAWNMOWER, DISTANT RADIO MARJORIE [reading, in a gruff voice] How can you have no pity for me, oh my Beauty? [high voice] But it is my father! He is dying!-- LOU [clears his throat] I'm sorry to-- CHILDREN [surprised noises] MARJORIE Oh! [to a child] Here, hold the place in the book. SOUND GETS TO HER FEET MARJORIE Do you need some help, mister? LOU Uh. I'm looking for a Mr. Baines? MARJORIE Father? He's not here right now. LOU [deeply disappointed] Oh. Will he be back soon? MARJORIE [sadly] He's... been dead for three years. LOU [resigned] Oh. You wouldn't happen to have a brother, would you? MARJORIE James. Yes. Why? LOU Is HE around? MARJORIE Overseas. Marines There's no way to know when he'll be back. LOU [heavy sigh] Thanks. SOUND STARTS TO WALK AWAY MARJORIE Were you a friend of father's? LOU [rueful laugh, low] We've never met. [up] Where's the cheapest place to stay around here? MUSIC AMB GARAGE SOUND LIGHTBULB CHAIN CLICKS ON, DANCES LOU [groan of pain and waking] DENNIS [whispered] Are you ready to talk yet? LOU [mumbled] Talk about what? DENNIS Talk about what you are. LOU What am I? DENNIS [hissed] You're a monster. SOUND SLAP MUSIC AMB PARK SOUND PAPER FOLDING MARJORIE [coming on] Oh, hello! Sorry, I never got your name. SOUND PAPER CRUMPLES LOU Lewis. Lewis Garreau [gah-ROH]. Lou. And you're a miss Baines? MARJORIE Marjorie. Why were you looking for my dad? Did he owe you money? LOU [taken aback] I-um-- No. It's --private. MARJORIE You don't have to treat me like some kind of kid. I'm almost old enough to drive. LOU [quiet rueful laugh] MARJORIE What's that you made? A bird? SOUND PAPER LOU It's a crane. MARJORIE Hmm. Nice. But mister, your crane - it ain't got no legs. LOU It's flying. MARJORIE Can't fly forever. LOU I suppose that depends on whether there's a good place to land. MARJORIE Minds me. Did you find a place to land? LOU Miss Mason was full up. MARJORIE What're you gonna do, then? LOU Move along. Sleep in the park. Done both often enough. MARJORIE Must be nice to sleep out under the stars. LOU [strange] And the moon. MARJORIE Not much of a moon tonight. [looking up] Is it just me or is it sort of strange when it does that - hanging like a big old smile in the middle of the bright blue sky? LOU There's plenty of strange things about the moon. [sigh] Run along home, kid. Don't you know better than to talk to strange men? MARJORIE Hmph. If you're going to be that way-- LOU I am. MARJORIE [angry] Hmph. SOUND STORMS OFF, WALKING ON LEAVES MUSIC AMB GARAGE SOUND SLAP DENNIS Just own up to it. LOU [resigned but in pain] To what? DENNIS What you did to that kid. LOU What kid? DENNIS You were there when we found the body, you bastard. LOU oh... SOUND SLAP MUSIC AMB PARK MARJORIE [muttering, huffy] Treating me like I'm some sort of child. Who does he think he-- SOUND RUSTLE IN THE BUSHES MARJORIE [gasp] SOUND SHE STOPS, THEN STARTS TO RUN SOUND RUSTLE, THUMP AS SHE RUNS INTO SOMEONE MARJORIE [gasp] SKITCH Hey Marjie. Need someone to walk you home? MARJORIE Let go of me, Skitch! SKITCH What if I don't wanna? Maybe I need someone to lean on. MARJORIE You just want to push me over! SKITCH Don't knock it til you try it. MARJORIE [trying to sound tough] Let go, or I'll-- SOUND A COUPLE OF STEPS, THEN THUMP AGAINST A TREE MARJORIE [gasp] SKITCH You will, will you? Tell you what, give me a kiss and I might let you go. MARJORIE Kiss? You?? I'd rather kiss a dog. SKITCH Oh, you like dogs, do you? Dog-style's fine with me-- [starts panting like a dog] SOUND RUSTLE, BODY FALL MARJORIE [starts to scream, muffled] SOUND STRUGGLE LOU Get off her, you punk! SKITCH Find your own rabbit, grampa. MARJORIE [still struggling] LOU [almost a growl] Take a hike! SOUND SKITCH GETS UP, MARJORIE RUNS AWAY SKITCH [incredulous] You wanna rumble? [laughs] I only fight guys my own age. LOU [still growly] Why? Scared? SKITCH [a little uncertain now] No! [conciliatory] Look, pops, it was just a bit of fun. No harm done. LOU A little late to apologize. [Yah! noise as he throws a punch] SOUND FIGHT BEGINS, FADES INTO MUSIC AMB GARAGE SOUND SLAP DENNIS How does it feel to crush the life out of someone? LOU [uncertain] I...I didn't. DENNIS And who else could it'a been? You ride into town and just by coincidence, something horrible like this happens? No sale, bub. LOU [moan] DENNIS That nose looks bad. Gonna need to be set. LOU It doesn't matter. DENNIS Here. I'll straighten it. SOUND JUICY CRACKING NOISE LOU [howl of agony] MUSIC AMB PARK LOU Ouch! [hiss of pain] SOUND FEET ON LEAVES APPROACH SLOWLY LOU Go away. MARJORIE No. You need a handkerchief or something? I studied first aid last year. LOU I'm fine. MARJORIE [insisting] Here. Did he bite you? [joking] You gotta watch out, that dingbat's got rabies. LOU [low, bitter laugh] It's nothing. MARJORIE Why were you looking for my father? LOU I - I promised to bring him a message. MARJORIE Maybe my mom--? LOU No, no... I'll just move along. Maybe when your brother comes home. MARJORIE Oh, come on-- EDITH [off] Marjie? Marjie? MARJORIE [triumph] Too late! [up] Over here! [back to him] Come on. If nothing else, you'll get dinner out of it. EDITH [coming in] Marjie? What are you doing? [a little wary] Who's this? MARJORIE This is Lou, mother. He chased off Skitch. MUSIC AMB GARAGE DENNIS Noses bleed like a sonofabitch, don't they? [sniffs at his bloody hand, disgusted noise] LOU [juicy sniff of pain] DENNIS [backs off a bit] Think those ropes will hold you there for a while? I spose I might have some chains somewhere. LOU [sniff again] Why? DENNIS [harsh] Because I know what you are. MUSIC AMB DINNER EDITH Since you're the guest, Lou, would you like to say grace? LOU [uncomfortable mumble] I'm not used to being so formal, Mrs. Baines. EDITH Edith. MARJORIE Oh, I'm sure you'll do it just fine. EDITH "Very well." MARJORIE Huh? EDITH "Just fine" isn't proper English, Miss Marjorie Baines. MARJORIE Sorry, mother. LOU [murmurs something quickly] Amen. EDITH [consternation] oh! Amen. MARJORIE [satisfied] Amen. SOUND A MOMENT OF SERVING, EATING EDITH We're not really used to having company, Lou. Will it bother you if we talk at the table? LOU [bewildered] uh - No? EDITH Thank you. [serious] Marjie, what was that you were saying about Scottie? MARJIE [sigh, rolls eyes] Skitch, mother. He stopped answering to Scottie simply ages ago. EDITH You said Lou ... [trying not to sound too worried] chased him off? MARJIE [losing her bravado] Yeah. He was being ... pushy again. LOU I – I don't think he's likely to bother you again any time soon. MARJIE Oh? Did you wallop him good? EDITH Good gracious, Marjie, sometimes I simply do not know what to say about your treatment of the English language! MUSIC AMB GARAGE DENNIS You think the police don't notice when an – an animal like you creeps into town and right off bad things start to happen? LOU The bad things were here before I was. Nothing you do's gonna change that. DENNIS Shut UP! SOUND SLAP LOU [Ung] DENNIS Don't go passing out on me, now. [beat] You still in there? LOU [gurgle] DENNIS [mock sympathy] Yeah. I know. We'll think of something to make this better. LOU [gurgling whisper] Don't... don't kill me. DENNIS Now why would I want to kill you? I want something from you. LOU [suspicious] What? MUSIC AMB DINNER EDITH So, Lou, tell us something about yourself. LOU Not much to tell. Been ... wandering. MARJORIE "Looking for", or "looking away"? EDITH Marjie! MARJORIE It's from a song, mother. It's poetical. LOU A little of both, I guess. Ain't no one makes it to ...where I am... without a few regrets. EDITH Have you ever thought about setting down some roots? LOU Nah. [uncomfortable mumble] Ain't no place would have me. EDITH What's so terrible about you? MUSIC AMB GARAGE DENNIS See, I want to understand. To know what makes you tick, ya freak. LOU You couldn't understand. Not in a million years. DENNIS Well, we don't got a million years. Just a couple of hours til night falls, eh? LOU Why do you--? [disgusted noise, realizing] You know? No! You want it! [horrified laughter] You think it would be fun! DENNIS I think it would be... useful. MUSIC AMB CRICKETS and FROGS, OUTSIDE EDITH I hope you don't mind, Lou. I don't really have any place to put you inside. But it's a fine night, and Rolf's hammock is very comfortable, and the back yard is-- LOU [uncomfortable whisper] I'm very grateful. EDITH Here's some blankets. Even a fine night can get chilly. LOU Thanks. EDITH [hesitant pause, then] Marjorie said-- said you were looking for Rolf? LOU Your husband? Yes. EDITH Why? LOU [sigh] Someone way back in my family did something to someone in his family, so we owed him. [quickly explaining] It's not money - I mean, look at me. EDITH Oh. No, I didn't think-- I was just wondering if maybe you knew him. [nervous now] I should get inside, Make sure Marjorie's all ready for bed. SOUND A FEW STEPS, CREAK OF HAMMOCK ROPES EDITH [off] Goodnight. LOU Night. [sigh] MUSIC AMB OUTSIDE, NIGHT LOU [muttering, grunting, in the throes of a nightmare] SOUND DISTANT FRANTIC WHINNY OF A HORSE SOUND WOLF HOWLS, VASTLY DISTORTED AND DISTANT SOUND HUNTING DOGS SOUND HEAVY BREATHING, UP CLOSE SOUND GUN SHOTS MUSIC AMB [morning birds sneak in] MARJORIE [voice blurring into dream] Lou! Wake up! LOU [waking with a roar, which turns into a noise of surprise as he falls out of the hammock] [then, muffled] Ouch. MARJORIE [stifling a laugh] Sorry! You were having a nightmare. I thought it would be better to wake you up. LOU [still muffled] Sorry. [getting up] I didn't hurt you, did I? EDITH [off] Everything all right? MARJORIE [walking off, still grinning] He's not used to a hammock. Woke up on the wrong side of the bed. LOU [slight chuckle] SOUND DOG NEARBY STARTS TO BARK, WON'T STOP EDITH [from off] Come on in, I've got breakfast on! I wonder what's got into Rufus? MUSIC AMB GARAGE DENNIS So how does it ... work? LOU It doesn't. DENNIS [calmly reasonable] I could probably break your nose a few more times. LOU It's never going to happen. DENNIS I'll get it out of you, even if I have to bite you. MUSIC AMB PARK SOUND WALKING MARJORIE Thanks for walking me. Skitch has been ... weird recently. LOU Weird? MARJORIE [heavy sigh] Creepy. Grabby. LOU You sure you don't want your mother to talk to his folks? MARJORIE I don't want to get him in trouble. [quiet] His dad beats him up bad. Scottie used to be okay. Almost a friend. Now he's - [firm] now he's just a creep. LOU Nice is one thing, but you gotta look out for yourself. MARJORIE Yeah. [long moment of silence as they walk] What was it you wanted to talk to my dad about? LOU Just something from way back. Something about his family. [painful lie] Nothing that ... can't ... wait. MARJORIE Is it something about werewolves? LOU [taken completely by surprise] uh-- what? MARJORIE I only ask cuz papa always talked about great granpapa and the old country. And how he used to be a big hunter. LOU [trying to sound disbelieving] Of... werewolves? MARJORIE That's what he always said. MUSIC AMB GARAGE DENNIS So. How does it work? LOU You'd have to kill me to find out. DENNIS Let's save that for later. LOU What time is it? DENNIS Couple of hours yet. That is, if you're waiting for ...dark. LOU I got nothing to look forward to. DENNIS Why did you come here, to this town, anyway? MUSIC AMB PARK LOU [doubtful] Your ...family hunts werewolves? MARJORIE Well, not nowadays. I don't think there's any werewolves left. No place left to hide in the modern world. LOU [down] Yeah. MARJORIE Sides, doesn't take a great hunter to kill stuff any more. [beat] Now that we have grenades. LOU [snort of laughter] MARJORIE Hey, you can laugh! I thought maybe that was broken. LOU Just on the fritz. SOUND HE STOPS. SHE STOPS MARJORIE [laughing] what? [serious] what? LOU Don't ignore this Skitch kid. Seriously. MARJORIE Well I wouldn't say I IGNORE him-- LOU I can see you want to be kind, but what about the next girl? MARJORIE Next? LOU You think you're really the only one? MARJORIE B-but Scotty-- LOU There are things that can turn even the nicest guy into an animal. MARJORIE [weakly] Like a werewolf? LOU Werewolves are rare. Very rare. But angry, mean, dangerous boys are common. DENNIS [controlled anger] Morning, Marjie. You need a hand with anything? MUSIC AMB GARAGE LOU How do you think you know anything? DENNIS This. SOUND SET SOMETHING DOWN LOU That was-- DENNIS THAT bullet hit a strange "wolf" in the woods last night. But I didn't find it out in the woods. LOU No. [sigh] You think this is something you could control, don't you? DENNIS I got self control. MUSIC AMB WOODS MARJORIE Morning, Deputy Cooperman. DENNIS [acknowledging] Marjie. And this is--? MARJORIE Lewis. He was a friend of dad's. DENNIS [hostile] New in town? LOU [trying to stay quiet] Just passing through. DENNIS Were they expecting you? MARJORIE Goodness. Listen to you, like he's a suspect or something. Maybe you should be doing something more useful, like looking for Skitch. DENNIS [disdain] Skitch? MARJORIE Scott Jorgenson. DENNIS And I should be looking for him, why? MARJORIE [backing off] He just - It's not that I want you to arrest him or something. He just was bugging me out here yesterday. LOU He grabbed her while she was out here alone. DENNIS I'll keep that in mind. MARJORIE [moving away] Come on Lou - I don't want to be late for Joan's birthday party. SOUND THEY WALK AWAY MARJORIE [calling back over her shoulder] Bye, Deputy Cooperman! SOUND AMB GARAGE DENNIS You gotta have self control to be a lawman. LOU You're a sheriff's deputy. SOUND SLAP DENNIS AND when Sheriff Bonaventure is out of town, I'm in charge. [backs off a bit] Look, I can think of all sorts of ways to hurt you. But I've been reading a couple of books from the library, and they all agree that it's a bite - you biting me - that will give me what I want. LOU No. DENNIS You're not going to bite me? Oh, there's ways. LOU [yelling] It's not like that. It's not goddamn tetanus or snakebite! DENNIS Then tell me what it is like. Enlighten me. LOU [very serious and heavy with meaning] It is a curse. MUSIC AMB DINNER TABLE EDITH Should we wait dinner for Marjorie, do you think? LOU Joan's mother said she would drive all the girls home. EDITH Do you-- do you think Skit…

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Atomic Julie - BACK TO JULIE by Richard Wilson Sep 28, 2022

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When politics might ruin one world, what if you could slip off to another one?

19 Nocturne Boulevard reissue of the week: TROPHY CASE Sep 22, 2022

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Inspired by the classic 1920s Shudder Pulps, a mad scientist has captured a set of victims and forces them to play his hideous game! Warning: Mature themes and brutal violence- Seriously Three men, chained in a dungeon! Beautiful women in peril! An evil genius doctor! Villanous minions! Written and produced by Julie Hoverson Cast List Garth Jenkins - Chris Stockett Klaus Heinz - Lothar Tuppan Luigi Marconi - David Collins-Rivera Dr. Chnossos - Chris Stockett Grace - Risa Torres Nathalia - Tanja Milojevic Amelie - Julie Hoverson Susanne - Sara Falconer Helga and Oda - Julie Hoverson Mongrel Henchmen - Danar Hoverson & Reynaud LeBoeuf With thanks to The Vault of Evil - where I encountered the dreaded Shudder Pulps!!! Music by Conspiracy (via Jamendo) Editing and Sound: Julie Hoverson Cover Design: Brett Coulstock "What kind of a place is it? Why it's a dank dungeon room, sometime in the 1920s, can't you tell?" **************************************************************************** TROPHY CASE Cast: Garth Jenkins, American athlete 25 Klaus Heinz, Prussian pilot 27 Luigi Marconi, Italian strong man 30 Dr. Chnossos - wheelchair nutjob 60 Amelie, French girl 20 Nathalia, Russian girl 20 Grace, British girl 20 Susanne, American girl 20 Helga, German girl 20 Oda, Swedish girl 20 MONGREL HENCHMEN [any age] OLIVIA Did you have any trouble finding it? What do you mean, what kind of a place is it? Why, it's a dank dungeon room, in the early 1920s, can't you tell? ROOM WITH BOX, TEASER MUSIC SOUND DOOR SLAMS GARTH See if there's something to bar the door with! AMELIE I can't see - it's too dim in 'ere! SOUND [outside] YELLS! THUMPING ON DOOR GARTH [grunts, holding door shut] ODA They are right behind us! NATHALIA We should kill them. Then they will never catch us. GARTH We gotta try and stay ahead of them. GRACE There's a box over here! GARTH Can you move it in front of the door? GRACE Help me, someone! ODA [plaintive] Is it heavy? GRACE It's big. Need to get it away from the wall. ODA [uncertain] I'll help. SOUND GRIND OF WOOD ON STONE GRACE and ODA [grunt, pushing] SOUND SWOOSH OF BLADE ODA [SCREAM, gurgle] GRACE [Scream of fear] SOUND BODY DROPS ODA [whimpers, expires] GRACE [covering mouth, trying to stop screaming] NATHALIA [excited, but not afraid] She is dead! GRACE [hiccuppy gasp, gets control] That blade just came out of the wall when we pushed the box! AMELIE [to Grace] You come with me. We will 'old the door and let monsieur look. [up to him] Je ne sais - eh - we do not even know your name! GARTH Garth. Garth Jenkins. AMELIE I am Amelie. [hinting] And this is--? GRACE [almost composed again, but still sniffling] Grace. I can't believe it. [starting to lose it again] How could something like that... happen..? AMELIE 'ere. Lean on the door with me. GARTH Well... Stay back, ladies. NATHALIA I can see perfectly well from here. GARTH Ok. She's dead, all right. That blade must have been on a tripwire of some kind. NATHALIA It cut her nearly in half. AMELIE What is this tripwire you speak of? GARTH A trap. He said there would be traps. I guess you need to know why we're here... MUSIC FLASHBACK DUNGEON SOUND CHAIN, SCUFFLE, ECHO, DRIP LUIGI [muttered, in pain] Mamma mia! GARTH Wowsers. My aching head. KLAUS [snort of indignation] SOUND CHAINS RATTLE LUIGI Hey now! This is an outrage! Who are you to do this-a to me! GARTH Do what? I can't see a thing. What's someone doing? KLAUS [calm, superior] Someone has locked us all in chains. CHNOSSOS [over intercom] Yes. [evil chuckle] You are all my prisoners. GARTH Wowsers! LUIGI It is an outrage! CHNOSSOS Yes, yes. I am outrageous. GARTH [to doc] You should let us go. The American government won't like this one bit. No sir. LUIGI [to doc] You watch yourself, funny guy! You come-a let us out now, and maybe we don't-a kill you dreadful! KLAUS Shut up! [they do] I wish to hear what this man has to say. CHNOSSOS Very good. I said I am your captor, and this is true. GARTH Hey! LUIGI Outrage! CHNOSSOS I have brought you here to play my game. [evil chuckle] I thought that would silence you. I am Doctor Chnossos. Perhaps you have heard of me? [waits, no reply, then grumpy] Probably for the best. I am a secretive genius. [upbeat again] You see, I have it in mind to find the perfect male human specimen in the entire world, and have narrowed it down to you three. GARTH Specimen? I ain't no specimen! LUIGI Mamma mia! Look no further! I am the strongest man alive! No one can stand before me! KLAUS [musing] Fascinating. CHNOSSOS Through exhaustive research, I have narrowed it down to you. Garth Jenkins, All-American football star, Olympic runner, and gold medal swimmer. GARTH I can hold my breath for three minutes! CHNOSSOS Luigi Marconi, European strongman and champion wrestler. LUIGI I snap you like a twig! CHNOSSOS And Klaus Heinz, fencing master, ace pilot, and big game hunter. GARTH Really? LUIGI Pilot, like the Red Baron? KLAUS I see no point in denying it. CHNOSSOS The game is simple. See who makes it out of my little labyrinth alive. GARTH Wowsers! KLAUS Hmph. LUIGI Santa Maria! CHNOSSOS There is only one exit. Somewhere out there in my maze. And only one of you may leave. [ominous] Ever. GARTH You want us to... kill each other? LUIGI I'm not-a that kind of feller. KLAUS It could not be so simple. CHNOSSOS You are right. It is not that simple. I do not care who dies, only who escapes. Kill or do not kill - that is no concern of mine. GARTH Good. CHNOSSOS BUT... whichever ones are left inside will surely die, for I will seal the door the minute an escape is made. KLAUS Of course. LUIGI Dios mio! CHNOSSOS And, of course, my beloved maze - it is full of traps! MUSIC Box room AMELIE They 'ave stopped. At the door. NATHALIA Should we open the door and look? GARTH I don't think so. It could be a trap. GRACE [cold] If what you say is true, this entire place is a trap. I for one would rather die than fall into their hands, if they're anything like the fellows I saw [falters] before... before-- AMELIE oh! Moi aussi! GARTH Nobody's dying! NATHALIA [snort] GARTH Nobody else! SUSANNE [distant] [horrible screams!!! THEY GO ON A LONG TIME] AMELIE Mon dieu! NATHALIA We need weapons. GRACE I wish she would stop! GARTH Well, I've checked everything I can think of on this box. Looks like I can open it, though after what happened, I wish I had a good old pool cue or something to let me stay back. AMELIE We will stay by the door. GRACE Out of your way. SOUND SLOW CREAK OPEN BOX GARTH I just wish I knew what that crazy doctor wants with-- [breaks off in surprise] What the hay? NATHALIA What is it? GARTH The box is full of ... [a little worried] weapons. MUSIC FLASHBACK DUNGEON GARTH Why in blazes are you doing this? CHNOSSOS As I said, I must see who is the most perfect male. Since you each have your own strengths-- LUIGI Strength! That is what I have. CHNOSSOS --there is no direct comparison except through competition. To begin with, those chains-- SOUND CLANK, CLATTER AS CHAINS FALL AWAY CHNOSSOS --must come off. There is no contest in watching strong men starve to death. Speak amongst yourselves. I must go and prepare the next challenge. [evil laugh] SOUND NOISE TO INDICATE SPEAKING SYSTEM IS OFF GARTH You! Fellows! KLAUS Ja? LUIGI Donchoo come-a no closer! GARTH See here, we should work together. If there's danger here, cooperation will be the best thing for it. KLAUS [considering] But this voice - he said that only one can win. LUIGI And that one - its'a gonna be me, by all the saints! GARTH That's all fine and dandy, but right now we're just three fellers in a dark room. Let's at least stick together til we find a way out. Or some light. SOUND DOOR GRATES OPEN KLAUS I think you get both of your wishes. SOUND KLAUS WALKS GARTH Hey, not so fast! It could be a trap! KLAUS I think it is too early in the game for that. No. This is merely an opening move. I will make the first counter move. SOUND LUIGI GETS UP LUIGI I'm-a gonna wait and see what happens to that bosch before I step up. No sense a-both of us getting killed alla the same time, eh? GARTH It looks safe ...so far. MUSIC BOX ROOM NATHALIA Weapons? Guns? GARTH No, no guns. Hold on. SOUND STUFF BEING MOVED, JUST A LITTLE GARTH Huh. [almost a chuckle] A good old pool cue. Stay back! AMELIE Why? Should we not 'elp? GARTH I saw something move. I'm gonna see what I can... SOUND SOMETHING FLOPS ON THE FLOOR NATHALIA A whip! I'll take that. GARTH You know how to use it? NATHALIA I had a very unusual ... boyfriend. AMELIE 'Ow unusual? NATHALIA [laugh] Oh! Your face! He worked with the circus. Trained animals. GRACE I don't suppose there might be a riding crop in there? I'm a dab hand with close cuts. GARTH Stay back! SOUND THUMP ON THE DOOR AMELIE 'Elp me 'old the door! GRACE [grunt, she throws herself against the door] Find us something we can use - quickly! SOUND THUMP ON THE DOOR MUSIC dungeon CHNOSSOS Come in gentlemen. [evil chuckle] I can see that physical perfection is no guarantee of courage. LUIGI I ain't-a no coward - donchoo say that! KLAUS [from off] I think you had best come in here. GARTH Come on. LUIGI I'll a-go first. SOUND WALKING GARTH Holy moley! LUIGI Santa Maria! KLAUS Most charming, are they not? Sleeping peacefully in their night shifts. GARTH Look, here, you! It's all very well to challenge us fellows, but this-- CHNOSSOS The six ladies you see before you are the most beautiful women in the world. LUIGI You ain't a-kidding! CHNOSSOS You might recall a recent article about the loss, at sea, of the boat carrying the finalists in the world beauty pageant? GARTH Jumping jehosephat! KLAUS [aha] Of course! LUIGI That explains-a everything! CHNOSSOS It was all a ruse - the boat DID sink, but not until I had "relieved" it of its lovely cargo. GARTH And the rest of the passengers and crew? CHNOSSOS Unnecessary. They went down with the ship. Couldn't have anyone left behind to inform the authorities of my presence, could I? KLAUS What is the matter with the girls? Why do they not awaken? CHNOSSOS Oh, it's been much easier to keep them drugged until now. They should be coming to any minute. Before they do, I should tell you the rest of the rules of the game. LUIGI Game? This ain't-a no game! GARTH Shh. Let him talk. CHNOSSOS No one escapes without a woman. I need two perfect specimens - a male and a female. KLAUS You sound like you plan to start a master race. CHNOSSOS I leave that to others. Each of you must choose one of the women for your companion. LUIGI What do we -uh- do with the girl? CHNOSSOS [juicy] Anything you like. But you must keep her alive until you find the exit. KLAUS Do you have to keep the same woman? CHNOSSOS Any woman will do. That's all the same to me. MUSIC BOX ROOM SOUND THUMP ON DOOR! GRACE They're going to get through any second SOUND WHIP CRACK NATHALIA [vicious, excited] Let them. GARTH Here's a knife, and - oh! SOUND THUMP OF KNIFE INTO BOX GARTH Got it! SOUND THUMP ON DOOR GRACE [gasp, strain] Got WHAT? GARTH Something spidery. Probably poisonous - that's why I'm taking this kinda slow! SOUND SPIKE COMES CRUNCHING THROUGH DOOR AMELIA [gaspy scream] Be more quick! NATHALIA Let it open. GARTH All right. On three, both of you, move over there, quick! I don't want to lose nobody else. SOUND THUMP, CRASH! MUSIC dungeon GARTH What about the others? CHNOSSOS What? GARTH The other girls. There's six of them and only three of us. What happens to the others? CHNOSSOS [nasty wicked] Don't worry. They won't be alone for long. [evil chuckle] You think I run this place single-handed? I have a horde of ..."men" just waiting to [insinuating] make the ladies' acquaintance. GARTH You fiend! KLAUS Very clever. LUIGI You put this into our hands? You make-a this all our fault! CHNOSSOS [taunting] Your fault? Why, no! Think of it this way - you each get to save one of these ladies from their fate! GARTH A fate worse than death! CHNOSSOS Just because those left behind are.... mmm... doomed. GARTH Well, we won't leave any, will we? [beat] Will we? KLAUS It will make it very difficult to succeed, herding a flock of women through a maze. LUIGI I like-a the ladies, but they can be a little hard to manage. SOUND GIRLS BEGIN TO WAKEN GARTH You heels. [up, to doc] Hey! What if we don't leave any of 'em behind? What about that? CHNOSSOS You can make that choice if you want. And of course, should any of them die in the traps in this maze-- GARTH Die? CHNOSSOS --and I assure you gentlemen, the traps are very very deadly! You might do well to take more than one, rather like a spare tire - since no one will make it out without a distaff partner. KLAUS Nein. GARTH No, Six. KLAUS [exasperated sigh, then "duh"] No. I will burden myself with only one. Easier to watch over. AMELIE [waking, very French] Oh la la! Ou et la? LUIGI But how do you propose to choose who gets a-which a-one? GARTH We should make up our minds now - before they all wake up and start a ruckus. NATHALIE [russian-sounding mutter] KLAUS I have already decided. I will have this blonde one. SUSANNE [waking up] Oh!! GARTH Why's that? KLAUS Simple. She is the smallest. Easiest to carry, should something happen. You, girl. SUSANNE [gasp, American] What? Where am I? GARTH Hey, you should leave her to me. She's from the good old U-S of A! KLAUS Too late. Come with me, girl. SUSANNE I don't want to-- KLAUS [threatening] Do not argue with me. This is a matter of life and death! CHNOSSOS Too right you are. For in five minutes, that green door on the far wall will open and a few of my choice minions will be let loose in this room. And you know what will happen then... [evil chuckle] GARTH Holy cats! We better get a move on. LUIGI But where a-do-a we go? There's the dreadful green door, and the way-a we came in, and then--? SOUND GRATING OF STONE KLAUS How convenient. Three doorways open. Come girl. I will keep you alive. SOUND GRABS UP SUZANNE KLAUS And we will make our exit, stage left. SUSANNE But I don't understand! KLAUS I will tell you all you need to know. [commanding] Come! SOUND THEY LEAVE AMELIE And 'oo will tell us all we need to know? LUIGI French? Eh! I have always favored French girls. I'll take-a you. AMELIE [defiant] Take-a me where? I do not think so! LUIGI [getting mad] Don't argue a-with-a me! You won't-a getta better chance-a than this! GARTH You better go, lady. Bad things are gonna happen here. AMELIE Huh! And no bad tings will 'appen with thees fellow? Hah! LUIGI Atsa your bad-a luck, then. You-- HELGA Ja? LUIGI Do notta speak. Just come. SOUND HUSTLES HER OFF AMELIE Hmph. Adieu. MUSIC BOX ROOM SOUND MAN CHOKING GARTH Leave off! NATHALIA [with exertion] He would be doing worse to me, were our positions reversed! GARTH We already killed three of them! We should keep him alive, make him tell us how to get out of here! NATHALIA Very well. [lets up, then hissed] You! You will take us through the maze, or He will leave you to me again, and strangling you is NOT the most painful thing I can do with this whip. SOUND CREAK OF LEATHER MONGREL [gasping] GRACE Are we certain the others are dead? GARTH Best as I can be. AMELIA I want 'is spear. Anything to keep terrible things at arm's length. GRACE I guess that leaves me the knife, unless you want to dig further into that box. SOUND CREAK OF WOOD GRACE The box! It's tipping forward! GARTH Dang it! [to the captive] YOU! Where do we go from here? MONGREL [gibbers in his language] GARTH Don't tell me he don't speak no English! AMELIA If he does not speak, then he is no use! NATHALIA Da! Then he…

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19 Nocturne Reissue of the Week - Poe-Etic Justice Sep 16, 2022

Show notes

[Mature themes and violence] A modernization of the story "Hop-Frog" by Edgar Allen Poe, turning it into a 1980s frat house horror movie. A bunch of pranksters find out the joke's on them. Written and produced by Julie Hoverson Cast List Frogger - Brian Lomatewama Lydia - Megan Lane Rex - James Turpin Deanna - Chandra Wade Uno - Justin Charles Buzz - Lothar Tuppan Trey - Danar Hoverson Lucky - Cary Ayers June - Kate Waterous Lisa - Melissa Pang Bob - James Sedgwick Fred - Jonathon del Arroz Dora - Melissa Bartell Kathy - Suzanne Dunn Music by Persson (available on Jamendo) Editing and Sound: Julie Hoverson Thanks to Glen Hallstrom for sound assistance Cover Design: Dennis Hager "What kind of a place is it? Why it's a college locker room, in the classic era of frat-house prank films, can't you tell?" ****************************************************************** POE-etic Justice Loosely adapted from the story "Hop-Frog" by Edgar Allen Poe by Julie Hoverson (19nocturne@live.com) Cast: [Opening credits - Olivia] Frogger Lydia Tripp Deanna Dora Bob, Fred, Kathy, June FRATS: Rex Mason, fraternity head, etc. Uno Buzz Trey Lucky OLIVIA Did you have any trouble finding it? What do you mean, what kind of a place is it? Why, it's a college campus in the nostalgic era of screwball hijinks films, can't you tell? MUSIC LYDIA (Quotes from the original story) I never knew anyone so keenly alive to a joke as the king was. He seemed to live only for joking. To tell a good story of the joke kind, and to tell it well, was the surest road to his favor. Thus it happened that his seven ministers were all noted for their accomplishments as jokers. AMB LOCKER ROOM UNO Man! Did you see the look on his face! BUZZ Like he'd never seen it bald before. FRATS [Hearty laugh] TREY That was you guys? Oh, man. FROGGER [muttered] It's gonna itch. UNO [less chummy] What? FROGGER [laughs unconvincingly] When the hair grows back. It itches like a sonofabitch. TREY, UNO, BUZZ [chuckle] UNO [pretend serious] And Frogger would know! TREY, UNO, BUZZ [laugh hysterically] REX Cut him some slack, dudes. Frogger's our pal. He's a funny guy. MUSIC LYDIA About the refinements, or, as he called them, the 'ghost' of wit, the king troubled himself very little. He had an especial admiration for breadth in a jest, and would often put up with length, for the sake of it. MUSIC REX Are they gonna get here soon? BUZZ If Studs and Lucky got everything right. REX Cool, then. This is gonna be a laugh riot. BUZZ When the froshes come walking into the rooms, each thinking they're gonna "get a little", oh yeah. REX Got someone with a tapedeck in each bathroom? BUZZ Too right! We had to borrow an extra one from Delta pi, but that's cool. It was Deanna made the tapes anyway. REX Frogger, what'd you get her to say? FROGGER [sigh, then, putting on a matching tone] I gave her this script. Should be funny as hell. BUZZ Here! "oh, good! You got my note! I hope you don't mind that I'm a little... kinky. [laughing and having a hard time reading] I want you to undress and [collapses] REX What? BUZZ Gimme a minute! [laughing, deep breath] undress and put on my underwear. It's right there on the bed. BUZZ and REX [hysterical fit] REX Not laughing, Frogger? FROGGER Just saving it til I see their faces. REX [agreeing chuckle] That'll be boss. Hey, you're into all that educated stuff. What's up with this Woody Allen guy? BUZZ That's that little Jewish nerd, right? REX This chick I was with last week says he's all hilarious, but I watched this movie - well, some of it, I was mostly macking on another hottie, and it was all like whining. FROGGER You want the brainhead answer or the real life one? REX Hit me with the smart one. FROGGER Woody Allen specializes in observational humor - looking at the angst and neuroses inherent in modern life and stepping aside and commenting on them. BUZZ [elaborate yawn] FROGGER But mostly it is just whining. REX [laughs] I knew it! SOUND DISTANT DOOR OPENS BUZZ Shh! Here they come! MUSIC LYDIA I believe the name 'Hop-Frog' was not that given to the dwarf by his sponsors at baptism, but it was conferred upon him, by general consent of the several ministers. MUSIC AMB PARTY REX Grab me a brewski Frogger. FROGGER No problemo. DEANNA Why "Frogger"? I mean, that's not like his real name, right? REX Duh. You just gotta see him cross a street sometime. Freaking funny. DEANNA Why do keep a little toad like that around? Did you like lose a bet? REX Nah. Frogger's pretty frosty, for a complete nerd. He comes up with some truly awesome pranks. DEANNA He would have to. Just looking at him is like visual herpes. REX Nah, the guys like having him around, cuz next to a mini weenie like that, we all look like kielbassas. Not that I don't look good anyway. DEANNA [chuckles seductively] Yeah, takes a whole can of vienna sausage to measure up to one ball park frank. REX Plumps when you get it hot, babe. FROGGER Your beer. And a cocktail for you. DEANNA [cold] Thanks. REX Cool. Hop along now, dude. My term paper is due tomorrow. DEANNA See, that's where it's so much harder to be a girl than a guy. REX Why? DEANNA No matter how smart she was, I couldn't keep a dog like that around. We'd get a rep. MUSIC LYDIA I am not able to say, with precision, from what country Hop-Frog originally came. It was from some barbarous region, however, that no person ever heard of - a vast distance from the court of our king. Hop-Frog, and a young girl very little less dwarfish than himself, had been forcibly carried off from their homes. MUSIC AMB OUTSIDE LYDIA Hiya, Tim! FROGGER [warm] Hey Lydia. LYDIA You, um, doing anything tonight? FROGGER Me? No. Did you need some help with something? LYDIA Me? No. I was thinking there's a showing of L'annee Derniere a Marienbad in Culver Hall tonight. And after what you said about the surrealists [falters] I thought maybe-- FROGGER Like a date? LYDIA [backing off] Maybe. [covering] Or as friends. I mean, you don't have to pay or anything. FROGGER No, no! I'd love to. I'm just surprised you'd still speak to me. LYDIA Because you hang out with the jackasses? Nah. I understand. I wouldn't mind getting on someone's good side. FROGGER [deep] It's not worth it. Really. LYDIA But I'm lucky - I don't do anything that makes me a target. Back in Fulton County, I hated being invisible. Here, though? It's a blessing. FROGGER Even in Fulton, I didn't have much of a choice. Gotta run now. Rex is planning a big party for the long weekend. LYDIA He needs help? FROGGER Mostly he just wants people to give him ideas that he can take credit for later. MUSIC LYDIA The king was sitting at his wine; but the monarch appeared to be in a very ill humor. He knew that Hop-Frog was not fond of wine, for it excited the poor cripple almost to madness; and madness is no comfortable feeling. But the king loved his practical jokes, and took pleasure in forcing Hop-Frog to drink. MUSIC ALL FRATS Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! FROGGER [drinking, gasping] REX Awesome. FROGGER [coughing] BUZZ Weenie. ALL FRATS [laugh] FROGGER [barely contained anger] Keep 'em coming. ALL FRATS [approval] REX Take a breather, dude. Mellow out first. Besides, before you kiss the sky, we need your brain. FROGGER [breathing deep, trying not to get sick] What do you expect it to do? ALL [laugh] REX We heard that Epsilon Omega is having a toga party. ALL Toga! Toga! Toga! Toga! REX Shh! We're pissed we didn't think of it first. UNO Very pissed. REX Since we don't want to look like copycatting dildoes, we need to come up with a better party. TREY And quick - it has to be Friday. LUCKY Their party is Saturday. BUZZ And it has to be awesome. UNO And chicks have to be nearly naked. REX Well? FROGGER Hmm. Garden of Eden. BUZZ We don't want any bible crap-- FROGGER You wanted less clothes than togas. UNO That's the dumbest-- REX Hold on. Are we talking fig leaves and stuff? [considering] Hmm... UNO I ain't gluing nothing to MY Johnson. FROGGER Paint the bikini? TREY What? FROGGER Get a bunch of tempera paint, have everyone arrive in bikinis, lay out a bunch of tarps and paint each other. REX You mean paint ON each other, right? FROGGER Duh. I would suggest finger painting. REX [considering] Yeah. FROGGER And then everyone has to shower off... REX [up] Yeah! That is so boss! Half naked chicks, AND you get to put your hands all over them. Frogger, you are the MAN. MUSIC LYDIA On some grand state occasion-I forgot what-the king determined to have a masquerade. Hop-Frog, in especial, was so inventive in the way of getting up pageants, suggesting novel characters, and arranging costumes, for masked balls, that nothing could be done, it seems, without his assistance. MUSIC AMB OUTSIDE LYDIA Hey Tim! FROGGER Lydia! Hey. LYDIA [amused] Is this your idea? FROGGER What? SOUND PAPER FROGGER "you are cordially invited to a bikini painting party--" Uh, no. LYDIA Hmm. Well, someone invited me. FROGGER [up] No! I mean, don't come. Those guys are dicks, and-- LYDIA I wasn't planning to, unless you were asking. FROGGER Good. LYDIA I'm not much for drinking - or being around a bunch of drunks. FROGGER Good! LYDIA I suppose... I suppose you're kind of stuck there? FROGGER I have to be there for a while. Until everyone's drunk enough that I can slip out. LYDIA Let's meet up later, then. SOUND SHE WALKS AWAY LYDIA [calling back] Maybe I'll even let you paint me. FROGGER I-- uh-- okay. TREY Dude. FROGGER [gasp of shock] TREY Nice little number. I bet you get her out of the glasses and baggy sweater and she's a total fox. FROGGER [desperately lying] Nah. She's got no tits at all. Just tissue. TREY Damn. Chicks are such fakers. FROGGER [relieved sigh] MUSIC LYDIA Hereupon the dwarf laughed (the king was too confirmed a joker to object to any one's laughing). Moreover, he avowed his perfect willingness to swallow as much wine as desired. The monarch was pacified. SOUND PARTY, LOTS OF LAUGHING, DISCO MUSIC REX Ni-i-ice. Blondes look good in green. JUNE [GIGGLES] REX But are you a natural blonde? JUNE Only my bikini knows. REX Maybe it will tell me later... JUNE [giggles] REX See ya. Hey Frogger. I notice your hands are clean. FROGGER Just - um- came from the bathroom. REX Hmm. Beauty idea about giving each guy a different color and starting a contest to see what girl can get the most colors. FROGGER Deanna's got quite a rainbow going. REX Is that a crack? FROGGER Huh? No - just admiration. REX Ah, new guests. Gotta mingle. LISA [giggle] Oh, look at you! Are you someone's little brother? FROGGER You ever hear the phrase "Say Hello to my leetle friend"? LISA Yeah? FROGGER That's me. LISA [wide-eyed] You said that? FROGGER [sighs] No that's Scarface. I'm "the leetle friend". LISA [giggles] LYDIA [off, calling] Oh, there he is! FROGGER Oh shit. Excuse me. MUSIC LYDIA There was a dead silence for about half a minute, during which the falling of a leaf, or of a feather, might have been heard. MUSIC FROGGER [hurried, whispered] What are you doing here? LYDIA Didn't you call? Dora, at the dorm said-- FROGGER No, I didn't. You need to get out of here. LYDIA [puzzled, but laughing] Why? It looks kind of fun. FROGGER [frustrated noise] No! They're gonna-- BUZZ I see someone wearing too much clothes! LYDIA Huh? LUCKY Did you bring your bathing suit, foxy lady? FROGGER She's not here for the party. It's a mistake. LYDIA [annoyed] No it's not. TREY Is this cuz of what you said about her? FROGGER Just drop it. You gotta go. LYDIA [sharp] What did you say? FROGGER Nothing. C'mon, let's bail. TREY He said you got no boobs under there. LYDIA What? What is wrong with you? God, Tim, I thought you were my friend. FROGGER Lydia! Don't! I can explain-- TREY Want to prove him wrong? BUZZ Of course, if you don't have a suit‑‑ SOUND RUSTLING LYDIA Actually, I only have a one-piece. FROGGER Don't! LYDIA Chill out. SOUND RUSTLING AS SHE TAKES OFF HER TOP ALL FRATS [approving noises] TREY [walking away] Why don't I start - I am curious. And I'm yellow. FROGGER [weak] No... REX C'mon dude. Bottoms up. SOUND RATTLE OF ICE IN GLASS MUSIC LYDIA Poor fellow! his large eyes gleamed, rather than shone; for the effect of wine on his excitable brain was not more powerful than instantaneous. He placed the goblet nervously on the table, and looked round upon the company with a half-insane stare. They all seemed highly amused at the success of the king's 'joke.' MUSIC SOUND PAINT SLOSH LYDIA [laughing uncomfortably] That's cold! TREY I could warm you up a bit. Maybe a hot shower. I'll scrub your back. LYDIA [uncomfortable] I didn't say stop. TREY I haven't seen you at one of these before. What are you, a hermit? LYDIA Just busy studying. TREY [suggestive] Do you study... anatomy? LYDIA I'm an english major. TREY This--[he's painting on her] is the bicep... LYDIA Yeah, I know. TREY And this-- is the [drawn out] pec-to-ral... LYDIA [gasp of shock] I think I'm - out of my depth. I should go. TREY Nonsense. There's seven more colors to go. Everybody wants to get his hands on you. LYDIA No. No, look, this was a bad idea. TREY This-- is the gluteus maximus. LYDIA Stop! SOUND SLAPPING NOISE TREY Oh come on. You don't want to leave this masterpiece unfinished, do you? LYDIA Let go of me! REX [overplayed] OK, what's going on? TREY Models. They're so high strung. REX You should have a drink. Frogger did. LYDIA I just want to go. REX [raising his voice] Hear that everyone? She just wants to go. ALL [everyone laughing] DEANNA Who does she think she is? ALL [more laughing, mostly guys] SOUND POUNDING ON A DOOR FROGGER [in closet] Stop! No! REX You know, these picnic bottles were a really good idea. SOUND SQUIRTS PAINT LYDIA [surprised shriek] ALL [laugh] LYDIA [crying] Stop! REX Well, being the king, I had her first. Who's next? BUZZ I got red, how bout I KETCHUP! [squirting] ALL [laughing] FROGGER [in closet] Nooooo! MUSIC LYDIA The tyrant seemed quite at a loss what to do or say - how most becomingly to express his indignation. At last, he pushed the girl violently from him, and threw the contents of the brimming goblet in her face. MUSIC SOUND BREATHING IN A CLOSED SPACE. OCCASIONAL THUMPS AS FROGGER BEATS HIS HEAD AGAINST THE WALL; the party has run down SOUND DOOR OPENS REX Damn. Almost forgot about you. C'mon out. Everyone's all gone home. SOUND FROGGER SCRAMBLES TO HIS FEET, THUMP AS HE SLAMS REX AGAINST THE WALL REX Unh! FROGGER You bastard! You sonofabitch! REX C'mon dude. It was just a joke. No big deal. SOUND DRINKS FROM A BOTTLE REX Here. mellow out. SOUND OFFERS THE BOTTLE FROGGER No big deal? You- you--! REX Have a drink and get frosty, dude. Or I might forget I have a big paper coming up and that you need fingers if you're gonna write it for me. SOUND FROGGER SNATCHES THE BOTTLE, DRINKS DEEP REX There you go. That's a pal. SOUND FROGGER THROWS THE BOTTLE ACROSS THE ROOM, BOTTLE SMASHES REX [laughs heartily] Yeah! You cool? FROGGER [grim, teeth gritted] I'm completely frozen. MUSIC LYDIA Hop-Frog endeavored, as usual, to get up a jest in reply to these advances from the king; but the effort was too much. MUSIC SOUND SHOWER RUNNING SOUND PHONE RINGS, DISTANT, IS PICKED UP DORA Yello? [up] Lydia! LYDIA [yelling, still upset] I'm in the shower! SOUND A MOMENT, THEN POUNDING ON THE DOOR DORA It's that guy you like. He wants to talk. LYDIA Tell him to sit on it! MUSIC LYDIA "The be…

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Atomic Julie - THE WHEEL IS DEATH - by Roger Dee Sep 08, 2022

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Another cautionary future tale. Science - even the most basic - is forbidden.

Atomic Julie - The Scandalized Martians by Arnold Marmor Aug 31, 2022

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The first movie crew to film with real aliens? The realism! The tension!

19 Nocturne Boulevard - THE TASTE OF THE BEHOLDER (parts 5-7 of 7) (Deadeye Kid #6) Reissue of the week Aug 26, 2022

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While recovering from his injuries, Lemuel Roberts (The Deadeye Kid) must try and make peace between two local factions - a group of Swedish loggers (please overlook our sincere attempt at translation) and a team of Yorkshire miners - neither of which speaks any English that Lem can understand... Written and Produced by Julie Hoverson Cast List Lemuel Roberts /Deadeye Kid - J. Spyder Isaacson Clarence Fanshaw - J. Hoverson Doc - Russell Gold Mrs. Doc - Gwendolyn Gieseke-Woodard Ezra - Reynaud LeBoeuf Mrs. Beamish - Judith Moore The Yorkshire Miners: Scabby Bill: John Lingard Will Watt Stevie K. Farnaby Danar Hoverson Paul Green The Swedish Loggers: Oly - Lothar Tuppan Nels - Danar Hoverson Mark Olson Cary Ayers Bill Jones Reynaud Leboeuf Julie Hoverson Cover Design: Brett Coulstock Announcer: Glen "Ole Hoss" Hallstrom Opening theme: "The Wreck of Old '97" from public domain recording found on archive.org Any incidental music: Kevin MacLeod (Incompetech.com) Editing and Sound: Julie Hoverson No gunshots herald his approach. No trademark left behind him when he leaves. The Kid had his fill of notoriety in days gone by - as plenty of empty boots can surely testify. Some say he rides alone. That's the Deadeye Kid. ********************************************************************** Taste of the Beholder [DeK6] Taste of the Beholder [DeK6] EPISODE 5 FANSHAW Lem! Everyone's gathering! It looks a bit of a party. LEM What's them Swedes a-doin? FANSHAW They're standing by. Like a menacing wall of blonde. LEM [laugh, then coughs] FANSHAW Are you quite sure you're up for this? The doctor said you'd worn yourself nearly into a relapse. LEM Why you think I'm a-lyin here, stead-a being out there? MRS. DOC [behind door] You all right in there? May I come in? LEM [up] Yes ma'am. SOUND DOOR OPENS, SHE ENTERS LEM Jest tryin t'sort out some words as might work with these fellers. MRS. DOC That sounds wise. You've already done wonders. But I have a favor--? LEM Anythin' ma'am. MRS. DOC [hesitant] If you can, can you perhaps get them to-- uh-- LEM Go on? MRS. DOC To fix my window, there? They are the ones that broke it. LEM I already planned on jest that, ma'am. Donchoo worry. MRS. DOC Mr. Roberts, you are a veritable angel. LEM Oh, no ma'am. Just a man of plain talkin. [laughs, then coughs a bit] MRS. DOC Get you round a bit more of this and rest you til you're good and ready to come on out. They can just hold their hosses. FANSHAW I'll go and see how far the "royal progress" has come. FADE SOUND OUTSIDE FANSHAW [sigh] Still out of sight. Come along Ezra, let us see if we can catch a glimpse of this mysterious lady. EZRA Are they gonna fight? FANSHAW [definite] No. My friend Lem has maneuvered them into peace talks. EZRA It would be fun to watch them fight, but ain't very angelic, is it? FANSHAW No. Wouldn't want anyone to get hurt, now, would we? EZRA Is that the lady, in the cart? With the big hat and veil? FANSHAW I would assume so. A bit of an affectation for the wilds, but everyone has their little vanities. EZRA Why'ud a lady wear a veil? Is she really ugly? FANSHAW I don't know about this particular lady, but many ladies wear them to protect their delicate skin from the harsh sun. EZRA Ain't much sun under all these trees. FANSHAW And some ladies, well, they wear a veil to put men at a disadvantage. No one is entirely comfortable talking to someone they cannot rightly see. [pause] I need to let Lem know what all is going on. I'll be back shortly. SOUND SHOUTS FANSHAW What? EZRA Thought you said they wasn't a-gonna fight! FANSHAW They weren't supposed to! Blast! That looks like more of the Swedes, taking the cart! MRS. BEAMISH [screams] Tyke yer bleedin' 'ands off me, ye dodgy swine! FANSHAW Not much of a lady. And nothing much we can do here. EZRA Oh, lookee! That feller got punched right off the cart! SOUND GRUNTS FANSHAW I need to go and tell Lem. Would you stay with them and see where they go? EZRA [eager] That would help ya? FANSHAW It would be very helpful. EZRA I'm your man. [distracted] Oh goodness! That fellow slammed into the tree! That's gotta smart something fierce! FADE LEM They here yet? DOC No. It's not so far from the camp that they shouldn't be in sight yet. FANSHAW Lem! Ambush! LEM [quiet] Aw hell. DOC What? LEM [sigh, considering best way to say] I think I ...heard something. DOC [more joking than suspicious] You must have the plumb smartest ears I ever did encounter, Mr. Roberts. The way you keep hearing things. LEM [covering] Uh... Gotta be, livin' raw on the range. Ya don't hear sumpin a-comin up on you, well, you deserve whatever ya get. DOC I reckon so. LEM And with the window broken, sound can get in more. DOC What is it you heard? LEM Fighting. Or leastways a yell. Sumpin that spoke "fight" to ma mind. DOC You think there's still trouble? LEM I'll lay odds that lady ain't gonna make it here any time soon. DOC Dag nabbit. SOUND STORMS OUT OF ROOM FADE SOUND OUTSIDE SOUND SOMEONE RUNS UP OLY Vad är det? [What is it?] KJELL [out of breath] Vi tog henne! [We took her!] OLY [incredulous and angry] Du gjorde vad? [You did WHAT?] KJELL [uncertain] Vi ... tog kvinnan tillbaka. [We ... took the woman back.] SVEN Bra! Nu har vi vad vi betalat för! [Good! Now we have what we paid for!] OLY Du idioter! Nu blir det krig! [You idiot! Now there will be war!] FADE FITCH What wasp flee up thon jacksey? [what got into them?] SCABBY BILL 'Appen t'were skrike I heered? Lads-- [That might have been a shout. The lads--] PIKEY Clack on't devil! Eyup Jimmy! [speak of the devil.] SOUND RUNNING FEET JAMES [gasping and in some pain] Eyup! Them brutes come out't snicket, 'ave cart upskelled and auld lass gone, bahn for none can ken, afore aught'n us could raise 'and. [those fellows come out of the bushes and attacked! Tipped the cart and took the woman before we could react!] FINCH Good night! Could smell t beer, sae close to settlin' t' slate, and such 'appens. [Damn! Just when this was going to settle peacefully, this happens.] JAMES Canna settle now! Yon 'eads want thumpin'! Paid in full. [too late to make peace! I want to beat some heads! They deserve it!] FINCH Dustup does nae good for aught-- [a fight won't do anyone any good] PIKEY [playing devil's advocate] Nae, lad. Tha path's neither nowt nor summat. Time fer muckin out. Nae room fer them as tek such libertines - to clamber out t' shrubbery and ketch up what's nowt fer them. [no, lad. Your way is doing no good. Time to clean this up. There's no place for those who would lay in ambush.] SCABBY BILL Tha's the pot! Us'm tek'er first! [You're one to talk! We took her first] PIKEY [making his point] S'truth, do we chance to scutch, mayhap yan or two might fall - and then us left must delve t' more. [Of course, if we fight, if we strike a blow, some of us may die - which leaves the rest of us to work even harder at digging.] MINERS [mutters] "s'truth." "Ba gum." "It gets right up ma cuff." "'Arsh, that." "Toes up o'er grub? Nae!" JAMES Us'll clean them clocks! [we won't lose!] PIKEY Ne'er seen clock tha could clean. DOC [loud, trying to get all attention] CALM DOWN! ALL GO QUIET DOC Bother. That's about all I got. FADE LEM This's how wars get lit. FANSHAW Who is this woman anyway? Helen of Troy? LEM Was she on the stage or sumpin? FANSHAW [chuckles] no, she was a king's wife who was abducted by another king and a great and glorious war was begun. LEM Ain't no war great and glorious. Not till everyone as been there's long dead. FANSHAW Oh. LEM How'd they end that war? FANSHAW [a bit embarrassed] They made a giant wooden horse. LEM [laughs] I think mebbe you gotta tell me this story later, when we ain't about to have all hell cut loose on us. [groans, getting up] SOUND RUSTLING OF CLOTHES, ETC. FANSHAW Don't--! LEM Ain't no choice here. Both them top fellers seem to lissen t'me. Much as doc's a good man, he don't have the touch. SOUND DOOR OPENS FANSHAW Speak of the devil! DOC Here now! What are you doing, Mister roberts? LEM I'm planning on facing them in full gear fer once. DOC You are not facing them at all... you know what's happening? LEM I gotta right good guess. Since the miners were a-bringing her here, I spect twas the loggers jumped em and done took her. DOC I think so. LEM Hitch up the cart. We're gonna mosey to the logging camp. FADE SOUND OUTSIDE LARS [commanding] Du! Kock! [You! "cook"] MRS. BEAMISH [snide] Ain't never understood one bloomin word out ye mouf, but vat sounds rigth filthy ye cheesehead! LARS Du kom hit för att laga mat för oss. Du är skyldig en skuld. [you came here to cook for us. You owe a debt.] MRS. BEAMISH Gah-on. Say somfing in normal talk. Ah dare ya. LARS [to Kjell] Tror du att hon förstår? [Do you think she understands?] ARN Hon låter lite arg. [She sounds a little angry.] FREDEK Jag tror att hon låter galen. [I think she sounds insane.] NELS Sure, it is like standing to the knees in a mire. EZRA Why's that, Mr. Nels? NELS You! Can you do something? EZRA What should I do? NELS Get that woman over here. The one that was calling out. EZRA Who? Oh! [laughs] That's no woman! That's Mr. Fanshaw. NELS Well, he sounds like one to me. Is there anything he can do? FADE DOC Brought the wagon round. Come on then, lemme give you a hand. LEM You kin carry my kit, if you would. DOC You need support-- LEM [definite] No. Gettin me to the door, that's right fine, but outside, I gotta put the fear o' god in them, best I can. And being carried round like a cripple sorta puts a bonnet on that. DOC I'll be right behind you, then. Just in case. SOUND FOOTSTEPS MRS. DOC [slightly defiant] I, on the other hand, could use all the support you care to give. DOC Irene? MRS. DOC Not from you, dear. Mr. Roberts, if you might give me your arm, sir? DOC Irene! MRS. DOC I've already got my hat on, husband. We might as well get moving. DOC What exactly do you think you are doing, woman? MRS. DOC [super sweet] Why, I'm accompanying my beloved husband and his patient on a little wagon ride. LEM [tries not to laugh] DOC I forbid it! MRS. DOC [sweetly] Oh, of course, dear! If you prefer, I can wait here at home, the home these silly men have already broken into - from both sides, I might add. Wait until someone decides that the easiest way to get this to end is perhaps to take me hostage, or threaten-- DOC [losing steam] Oh hush!! LEM The lady has a point, doc. Seein as I still think we gotta a fair chance of stoppin this without none getting hurt, it'ud likely be safer, ma'am, if you were to stay by us. MRS. DOC Good. Now take my arm, Mr. Roberts, for goodness sake! You're swaying like a sapling. FADE EZRA Mr. Fanshaw! [laughs] Nels says you sound like a lady. FANSHAW It is just my accent. The way I talk. EZRA You do talk funny. FANSHAW Can you go and ask Nels if his men understand a white flag of truce? EZRA What is that? FANSHAW When men - or even armies - want to talk rather than fight, they will come bearing a white flag. EZRA Where do they get a white flag? FANSHAW They just make one. Please. It is important that we know. FADE SOUND OUTSIDE SOUND SCUFFLE MINERS [Arguing] "More brass'n brains" "near as makes n'matter" " that's a threp in't steans" "caffelin' t' 'oil works, am I." SWEDES [arguing] SOUND FOOTSTEPS LEM [sigh] Shut up! SOUND STILL FIGHTING LEM Pardon me ma'am. Step aside if you please. SOUND HER STEPS SOUND GUNSHOT ALL [go quiet] SOUND SOMETHING DROPS Taste of the Beholder [DeK6] EPISODE 6 1_MOVING OUT LEM You miners. You... uh... manskers. Um. [slowly, with gestures] We go in cart to your-- OLY Mig? LEM Yes, your camp. You lead us. SCABBY BILL [slightly out of breath] Right. Nowt wait aught mair. Us'm goin - wi'thee, or nowt. LEM We's all a-goin. [to Mrs. Doc] You get on up in the wagon now, ma'am. MRS. DOC [a bit shaky] All right. DOC [quiet] Doesn't look like anyone is hurt too bad. LEM They's all still on their feet. OLY [slowly, trying to be understood] detta var inte min idé. Inte jag. Jag kommer att tala strängt till dem. [this was not my idea. Not me. I will speak sternly to them.] LEM You lead. [turns to Scabby Bill] You follow. Reckon? SCABBY BILL Reckon. FADE 2_GRADY1 SOUND SOMEONE RUNNING IN PANIC GRADY [gasping muttered mantra] Don't slow down, don't slow down. A log! Oh sweet Jesus! SOUND THUMP, SCRAMBLE, SLOW MOVEMENT SOUND BEHIND HIM, MEN MAN1 Keep heading downhill! MAN2 Brush too thick over there! This way! GRADY [barely there prayer] Pity me! [couple of deep breaths] [sound of exertion] SOUND RUNNING AGAIN FADE 3_AGREEING SOUND CART PLODDING DOC [quietly] That was a foolhardy thing you done back there, Irene. MRS. DOC I cannot disagree. DOC You should never've - what? MRS. DOC [sweet] I was merely agreeing with you, husband. LEM [quiet chuckle] DOC [trying to stay annoyed] But-but you-- [loses it, laughs] My mother always said you would be a handful. MRS. DOC I believe mine said something very similar. DOC About me? MRS. DOC [laughing] No, about me. LEM If I was a man to interfere, I might say you're a lucky feller. DOC I cannot disagree. LEM Lucky the lady is on your side, if you don't mind me saying so, ma'am. ALL [laugh] FADE 4_LOGGING CAMP FREDEK Många män kommer! [Many men are coming!] LARS Vi kommer inte ge upp! [We will not surrender!] FREDEK Detta är inte något att dö för! [This is not something to die for!] ARN Jag skulle hellre dö än att äta en annan måltid tillagad av dig. [I would rather die than eat another meal cooked by you.] LARS Jag ser Oly. [I see Oly.] ARN Han ser arg. [He looks angry.] FREDEK De måste ha vapen. [They must have guns.] NELS Nothing worse than to have to sit and listen to them babble. OLY [off, yelling] Alla ni! Stå vid sidan! [All of you! Stand aside!] NELS And cannot do anything when Oly tells them to calm down. LARS [yelling] Är de hotar dig? [Are they threatening you?] OLY [off, yelling, pissed off] Du är en idiot! Vi var överens. Då har du stört! Du står åt sidan! [You are an idiot! We were in accord. Then you interfered! You stand aside!] FADE 5_CHUCKIE JAMES Tha gormless bastard! Guns or nowt, us could take 'em! [Idiot. Even with the guns, we could win.] PIKEY And 'oo ist 'aveta send tha mam word o thy beefing. Appen I should say 'er son died of 'is own barm, or sweeten tha death wi' claims thee lost fight to a chuckie. [And I will have to write to your mother. What would you like me to tell her, that you died of being stupid, or that you lost a fight to a chicken?] TED [sigh] And us start sommat, it'll nae stop 'ere. [If we do start something, the fighting will not end here.] FITCH I dinna feel fer the fight. Yon stormcloud, 'im seems a fair measure. [I don't feel like fighting. That fellow - he seems fair.] PIKEY Cud gang fer a slurp missen. [This would be a good time for a drink.] FADE 6_GRADY2 SOUND RUNNING MAN1 and MAN2 [closer than before] [yelling "Just over that ridge!" "Get him!" "Yeller bastard!"] GRADY [gasping and ragged] Good god above, [gasp] please, [gasp] send me into a river. Anything. [gasp] Just to get me [gasp] get me away... FADE 7_CART SOUND HORSES. CART NOT MOVING. DOC [whispered] Irene, I prefer strongly that you remain in the cart. MRS. DOC As always, I defer to your wisdom, dear hus…

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