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In classic 1940s Hollywood, aspiring screenwriter Fiona Cross discovers the pitfalls of writing remakes - including, perhaps, romance with an undying legend of the silver screen. Written and Produced by Julie Hoverson Cast List Fiona Cross - E. Vickery Victor Malacard - Cole Hornaday George - Jerry Bennett Margie - Kristina Yuen Andy - Michael Faigenblum Additional Voices - Rhea Lutton, Julie Hoverson, Reynaud LeBoeuf Music: Gabriel Garcea (gagamusic.eu) (also available on Jamendo) 19 Nocturne Theme: Kevin MacLeod (Incompetech.com) Editing and Sound: Julie Hoverson Sound effects found on Soundsnap.com Recorded with the assistance of Ryan Hirst of Neohoodoo Studio Cover Photos: (courtesy of Stock Xchange.com) "What kind of a place is it? Why, it's a movie studio office - can't you tell? Where else would you find... a screenwriter?" _______________________________________________ HOUSEWARMING Cast: [opening credits/Olivia] Fiona Cross, screenwriter George Webber, producer Victor Malacard, actor/director Margie, best friend Mason, butler Andy, a Messenger Instructor voice, on P.A. Landlady OLIVIA Did you have any trouble finding it? What do you mean, what kind of a place is it? Why, it's a film producer's office, can't you tell? SCENE 1 MUSIC SOUND EFFICIENT TYPING, PHONES IN THE BACKGROUND GEORGE The bad news is -it's really very good. FIONA [excited] Wonderful! [waitaminute] That's the bad news? GEORGE Yup. Because we can't use it. SOUND SHEAF OF PAPERS TOSSED ONTO TABLE. FIONA What? But ...but Mr. Webber, you said it was GEORGE Practically brilliant. I'll even read your next one, and I don't say that often. [pauses, thinks] Ever. But, Miss Cross... you should know by now that writing remakes is a complete waste of time. There's all sorts of issues. We don't want to get sued. FIONA But The House on the Peak was made- GEORGE Twenty-odd years ago. It's still dicey. Whoever owns it could sue us, and after that fiasco at Champion pictures last year... We're taking no chances. We're not Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, you know. FIONA If ... what if I could make an arrangement with the owner? Would you still be interested? GEORGE [cagey] Well, I said it was good, but I never actually said I was interested. [beat] Come back when you've got a signature. MUSIC BRIDGE SCENE 2 SOUND TINNY PHONOGRAPH MUSIC INSTRUCTOR [off mike throughout] And lift. One. Two. FIONA [puffing slightly throughout] All that work! MARGIE [puffing slightly throughout] Goodness, Fiona, didn't anyone ever tell you never adapt? INSTRUCTOR ...five and six. Arms up! FIONA I guess I figured the studio would handle all that. MARGIE [teasing] Did you just drop off the turnip truck -Oh, sorry, the porkchop truck. INSTRUCTOR ...seven and eight -keep them up! FIONA [teasing back] You just watch it, we Piggottsville girls are tough! [puffs a bit] Now I just have to get up the nerve. MARGIE [sarcastic] Nerve? YOU? I can't imagine! INSTRUCTOR [off] I hear someone talking! FIONA [whispered] Enough nerve to go and talk to Victor Malacard. MUSIC BRIDGE SCENE 3 SOUND CAR DRIVES AWAY. WOODSY NOISES FOOTSTEPS ON GRAVEL. FIONA OK, Fee. Let's see what you've got. Scene: Heroine walks up to big spooky house. She is nervous. Almost trembling -wait, no scratch that. She is resolved, plucky. Much better. SOUND CREAK OF WOOD, BIRD CALL FIONA [slightly spooked] Or not. Come on, Fee. You can DO this. Plucky heroine, for goodness sake. Pluck up. SOUND FOOTSTEPS ON GRAVEL. FIONA What a scene. Artfully disheveled garden. Overgrown and dried out fountain. Huge mansion in exactly the proper state of dilapidation. [tries to laugh] I should be taking notes. SOUND FOOTSTEPS ON WOOD STAIRS FIONA [practicing] Mr. Malacard, I am such a big fan of--No, I'm sure he hears THAT all the- SOUND FOOTSTEPS SLOW DOWN, THEN STOP. FIONA [firm] Mr. Malacard. I have a proposition for--Oh pooh! [ingratiating] Mr. Malacard. How wonderful to finally meet- SOUND DOOR CREAKS OPEN. FIONA [gasp] MASON [spooky and unwelcoming] May I help you? FIONA [muttered] I bet you get a lot of these roles. MASON Hmm? FIONA Sorry. Nothing. I would like to speak to Mr. Malacard. MASON No. SOUND DOOR SLAMS SHUT. FIONA What? Aren't you supposed to say something like [aping his voice] "I'm afraid Mr. Malacard... isn't himself today." [normal voice] and give me a chance to argue with you? [pause] Huh? SOUND TWO FOOTSTEPS ON WOOD, THEN SHE SITS ON THE STAIR WITH A CREAK. FIONA [calling over her shoulder] Very well, then. I'm not leaving. I'll just sit here until the spiderwebs grow up over me and I become part of the set! SOUND BIRDS. FIONA [muttered] Or at least until I get up the nerve to walk back to town. [sigh] Well, it's kind of nice here, anyway. Peaceful. [takes a couple of deep breaths] SOUND FOOTSTEPS ON GRAVEL APPROACH VICTOR [coming on mike] Can I help you? FIONA What? Oh! [noises, as she stands] Mr. Mal--Wait. You can't be--I'm confused. VICTOR [chuckles] I look just like him, don't I? I'm Victor Malacard the lesser. Call me Vic. FIONA Fiona Cross. I'm so pleased! I'm a writer, you see, and-15 VICTOR [cold] So sorry. Father doesn't give interviews. FIONA Oh, no -I'm a screenwriter. I wrote a wonderful script- VICTOR [perturbed] He doesn't act any more, either. FIONA Does he let people finish their sentences? VICTOR [chuckling in spite of himself] All right. Just point to me when it's my cue. FIONA [deep breath] I wrote a new version of The House on the Peak, your father's masterpiece, and I would very much like to get it produced- FIONA --because I spent a lot of time on it, and I know he would be flattered if he could only read it, because, well, the original was brilliant, but most people DO like sound nowadays, and this would bring his work back for more people to see, and if I could just get his permission, I have a studio which is VERY interested. VICTOR [pause] My turn? Then... all right. FIONA All right then, what? VICTOR Let me read it. I'll see if it's all you say it is. FIONA But your father- VICTOR Is old and very ill -one reason I cannot let anyone into the house. I have all the authority necessary. I assume you brought your script? FIONA Oh, yes! SOUND SNAPS OPEN SHOULDERBAG, PULLS OUT SHEAF OF PAPERS. FIONA Really, I'm a much better writer than I must sound like, from the way I talk. I just get really- SOUND A COUPLE OF PAGES FLIP VICTOR Come back in a couple of days. Saturday. FIONA Oh, no! I've heard that one before. It's not so late, I'll wait while you read it. [BEAT] Besides, I need to borrow your phone to call a cab. VICTOR [cold] I'm afraid you're doomed to disappointment on many levels, Miss Cross. I refuse to read on demand, and you cannot come in. FIONA But it's miles to the nearest- VICTOR You'd better start walking. I will see you on Saturday. MUSIC TIME PASSES SCENE 4 SOUND DOOR OPENS. CRACKLE OF WAXED PAPER. VICTOR [warning] I am not going to--[surprised] What is that? FIONA Lunch. You're not going to what? VICTOR You brought - FIONA If there's one thing that Hollywood taught me, it's come prepared for a siege. You're lucky I didn't have time to make pastrami and onion sandwiches, though they work a whole lot better in an office. VICTOR Work... better? FIONA Nothing like the chance you might stink up someone's office to motivate them to give you five minutes. VICTOR [chuckles] FIONA Want some? VICTOR What? Oh, no -I've eaten. FIONA [snort] Hospital food, I bet -all bland and toothless. It's always like that when someone in the house is sick. VICTOR No, [sighs, then, resigned] no -if there's one thing Mason makes certain of, it's that the food is good. FIONA That your butler? Or is he some kind of nurse? VICTOR Some kind... um, something. FIONA [bright, teasing] So, did you read it yet? VICTOR There's hardly been time- FIONA [Sweetly] Then why waste it talking to me? VICTOR [sad] It's not something I get to do very often. Talking. To someone. FIONA Read the script, and I promise I'll come back and talk up a storm. SOUND DISTANT THUNDER VICTOR [sigh, pause] Speaking of storms, it looks like rain. If you need to walk back to town, you'd best get started. FIONA I'm a farm girl. We're built tough. And reasonably waterproof. VICTOR [chuckle ruefully] SOUND DOOR SHUTS. MUSIC TIME PASSES SCENE 5 SOUND CRICKETS, NIGHT SOUNDS, RAIN [a beat] DOOR OPENS VICTOR Tsk. Do you know what time it is? FIONA Judging from the position of the stars, what little I can see of them -my watch says about 9. VICTOR [a beat, then] I read it. FIONA [gasps, then tight] And? VICTOR It's brilliant. FIONA Really? VICTOR Here's your release. My lawyer can validate it in the morning. FIONA Oh! I could kiss you [SHE DOES] VICTOR [shaken] I... Miss Cross...! FIONA Fiona. You know, you really do look like your father. You're lucky. He was really something, back in the day. It's those eyes. VICTOR Yes, I... [with emphasis] He... SOUND CAR APPROACHES, STOPS. VICTOR What? Who the devil--? FIONA My cab. I arranged for it to pick me up at 9. Siege or not, I'm not sleeping on anyone's doorstep but my own. Thanks again! SOUND RUNNING FOOTSTEPS ON GRAVEL. FIONA [off] ...and if you're ever in town...! VICTOR [yelling slightly] Of course...! SOUND CAR DOOR SLAMS SOUND HOUSE DOOR SQUEAKS OPEN. VICTOR [sadly to self] ...not. SOUND SLOW FOOTSTEPS ACROSS THE PORCH. MUSIC SCENE 6 SOUND TENNIS, CROWD, IN BACKGROUND THROUGHOUT. MARGIE So, they loved it. Did you write yourself a part? FIONA What? MARGIE Oh, come on-don't tell me you only aspire to be the pen and not the face? FIONA I just enjoy writing. I'm in complete control of the world. Everyone in my story has to listen to me and do what I say. MARGIE But acting is where the fame is. FIONA Who wants fame? VOICE ON P.A. [filter] Number 33, Court 1 is open. MARGIE Are we getting close? SOUND RUSTLE OF PAPER FIONA Should be next. MARGIE So you're in it for the money? FIONA No... I guess... I'm in it to ... to see it happen. MARGIE [pause] Are you explaining or should I order another drink? FIONA I want to see things from my imagination up there on the screen. I want to create something that people will remember. MARGIE And you don't want to be famous or rich? You're nuts. FIONA Rich would be OK, but famous just means you never get away. That must be why Mr. Malacard lives out in the country -to get away from the craziness. MARGIE Craziness? In Hollywood? Perish the thought! [pause] So, can I have your part? FIONA [laughs] There aren't really any good female roles in the House on the Peak. MARGIE Will I sound hopelessly undereducated if I admit I've never actually seen this fabulous item? FIONA You never--? Where did you grow up, a cave? I mean even in Piggottsville, it showed for three whole nights -and then each year near Halloween. I think the theater proprietress musta had a thing for Malacard. MARGIE Spare me the down home gossip and tell me about this masterpiece. FIONA Well, it's sort of modeled on this story by Edgar Allen Poe- MARGIE Didja have to get permission from him, too? FIONA Shush. He's been dead for -I dunno, a century? Besides, it's not really the same idea, just the tone. See, there's this guy who goes home after his father's death, to see his twin brother who he hasn't seen in years- MARGIE Which one was your mysterious actor? FIONA Oh, Victor Malacard played both brothers. It was groundbreaking at the time -using cutaways and doubles- MARGIE Is this important? FIONA [chuckles] I guess not. But the brother who'd been away was a man of the world, very caught up in business, and the one who stayed was a strange lonely man who talked to himself- MARGIE [sarcastic] In a silent film, no less. FIONA [agreeing] Malacard was a genius. They've got their eye on this new fellow -he was in that film, "Laura"- MARGIE Stick to the point! FIONA Tsk. So it turns out the house is alive, and must have a family member in residence or it will die. But the one who stayed would live forever, barring falling out of a window, which is what'd happened to their father. MARGIE Foul play? FIONA You got it -turns out one of the sons had killed dear old dad to take his place as head of the family, and live forever. MARGIE Was it the creepy one? VOICE ON P.A. [filter] Number 34, court 3 is open. SOUND GLASS PUT DOWN, BAGS SNATCHED UP FIONA I'll tell you whodunnit... but only if you beat me. MUSIC SCENE 7 SOUND CAR DOOR SLAMS. FEET ON GRAVEL. FEET SLOW DOWN. FIONA Oh. Hullo! SOUND CAB DRIVES AWAY VICTOR I heard you coming. FIONA Oh, and here I thought old Igor your butler was a warlock or something. VICTOR Mason is a lot of things, but--[pause] What's that? More scripts? FIONA No, silly. It's a picnic. VICTOR A what--? FIONA Pic. Nic. Food to eat outside so as not to bother those inside whom shall not be named. VICTOR But, you- FIONA I promised I would talk up a storm, didn't I? If Hollywood taught me one thing, it's to keep my promises. VICTOR Well. [bemused, but pleased] Very well, then. SOUND FOOTSTEPS ON GRAVEL. DOOR OPENS [OFF]. MASON [off] Sir? VICTOR [calling] Don't worry, I'll stay where you can see me. MASON [off] Very good, sir. FIONA Wow, he sure keeps you on a short leash. VICTOR [deep with meaning] So true. FIONA Well, this looks good -and see, there's a window right there where your keeper can peep out and make sure nothing improper happens. SOUND BLANKET SPREAD, THINGS BEING TAKEN OUT OF PICNIC BASKET VICTOR [deep sigh] FIONA [sincere] I do understand. My gramma raised me -she was from the old country, very wild Irish, and hospitals would never, never do. So when she took ill at the end, I had to look after her. And the farm. Just the two of us, right up til she passed. VICTOR So being tired of the sticks, you came right out to Hollywood, no training wheels or anything? FIONA Oh, I figure I'll go back someday -not to the farm, but to the country. Being down here -well, down there -is tough -there are so many people everywhere. VICTOR Better than being lonely- FIONA You can be lonely in a crowd just as easy as on a farm, and it's much noisier. The crowd, I mean. VICTOR More material for your writing. FIONA I don't agree. I figure growing up pretty much alone is why I have such a good imagination. Keeping myself occupied, making up folks to talk to. VICTOR [moving in romantically] And you enjoyed my --my father's film so much that you decided to put words to it? FIONA [slightly breathless] I... I didn't so much write them as sort of translate what he already said. VICTOR [deep and husky] And very well too. FIONA [gasp, deeply important] Before this goes any further, I have to say something. VICTOR [snapping out of it] I--we--of course, we shouldn't- FIONA Since the studio is picking up the cost of lunch, we have to talk business. I hope you don't mind. VICTOR [vastly relieved, deep breath] Of course. Mm, that smells good. No pastrami and onions? FIONA [laughing] No. [serious] See, the studio wants to know if we can add a girl -a romance -to the story. Seems everything just has to have a love interest these days. VICTOR [sharp] A what? FIONA And a happy ending. They don't want- VICTOR No! Under no circumstances! They're not going to ruin my--[through gritted teeth] my... father's vision -with sentimental claptrap. FIONA [teasing] Really? Sentimental claptrap is all the rage nowadays. [change of tone, satisfied] Good. That's what I thought, but they won't listen to me. Business over. VICTOR But you- FIONA Oh, don't get…
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