Who Are These Guys?

Latest Episodes:

The Battle Drones Are Here Dec 31, 2024

Show notes

🎙 The Battle Drones Are Here | Podcast Ep. 247 📌 Hosted by Jesse, Kurt, and Rob Ever seen 50 drones hovering over New Jersey and thought, "Well, this is how it ends"? Same. In this episode, your favorite trio dives headfirst into the wild world of mysterious drones, questionable government statements, and the fine art of making bad news sound good. Spoiler: we don’t have the answers, but we’ve got a ton of sarcasm. What’s in this episode? 🤖 The drone swarms over the East Coast (motherships, anyone?) 🕵️‍♂️ Why the government prefers “we’re working on it” over actual answers 👽 A debate on whether aliens live in the ocean (they probably do) 👨‍🎤 The cult of sports fans vs. the Brooklyn Saturday Choir Club 🤓 Steve Jobs, Elon Musk, and their fictional lovechild "Stee-lon Busk" 🌶️ It’s conspiracy theories meets comedy, with just enough existential dread to keep things spicy. 00:00 Drones Over New Jersey: The Unfolding Mystery 04:56 Modern Day Cults and Social Dynamics 12:14 Clowns: From Entertainment to Fear 16:18 The Drone Phenomenon Revisited 31:07 The Impact of Social Media on Perception 35:24 Luigi and the Healthcare Industry 38:26 Quantum Computing Breakthroughs 40:55 Family Anecdotes and Aging 48:35 Fashion Choices and Simplifying Decisions 51:22 The Legacy of Steve Jobs and Elon Musk 01:00:11 Concluding Thoughts and Farewell

Entenmann’s Crumb Cake & Soft Cookie Challenge Dec 23, 2024

Show notes

Welcome to WATG Ep 246—where we debate life's real questions: Is the Entenmann’s crumb cake the pinnacle of baked goods? Are soft cookies better than crack? And why does Kurt look like Christopher Walken?

JK, Jesse, and Kurt take you on a sugar-filled journey through crumb cake nostalgia, the universal knife-left-in-the-box debate, and the great Entenmann's product showdown.

With plenty of sarcasm, Long Island accents, and unsolicited life advice, we keep it as sweet as those chocolate chip cookies we swear we’re not opening… yet.

Timestamps:

00:00 Intro: Mics are on (this time), Long Island accents, and holiday stress looks.

00:25 Christopher Walken Impressions and Holiday Stress

01:18 Cookie Cravings and Entenmann's Nostalgia

03:13 Debating the Best Entenmann's Treats

11:23 Long Island Real Estate and Local Politics

27:33 Apartment Living and Maintenance Woes

37:09 The Impact of Technology on Health

40:04 The Sinister Side of Business

44:00 Sports Contracts and Wealth Disparity

49:37 Cold Plunge Challenge

01:07:11 Skill Reaction Test

Confessions of a Planet Fitness User Dec 16, 2024

Show notes

Welcome to Who Are These Guys EP 245, where Kurt, Jesse, & JK tackle the important questions, like, “Am I gay for going backwards on the elliptical?” and “What even is gym etiquette?”

In this episode, titled Confessions of a Planet Fitness User, we dive headfirst into the world of gym culture, workout routines, and, of course, the not-so-secret business model of Planet Fitness (spoiler: they’re banking on you not showing up).

Expect witty banter, tangents about life’s absurdities, and enough sarcasm to fill a protein shaker. Whether you're a regular gym rat or someone who pays for a membership just to feel better about binge-watching Netflix, this episode is for you.

Timestamps:

[00:00] Intro: The Perils of Podcasting in a Hot Room

[05:23] Why Planet Fitness Doesn’t Want You to Work Out

[12:47] Gym Culture and The Mystery of Stairmasters

[24:15] JK’s New Gym Adventures (and the Subculture of Gym “Rulers”)

[30:55] Outro: Sweat, Laugh, Repeat

The Return of Megan: Why She Quit the Show Dec 09, 2024

Show notes

Well, well, well, look who's back! Megan joins the gang to spill the tea on why she decided to make the change from full-time co host to an occasional guest.

Spoiler: it’s got nothing to do with our award-worthy banter about Pelotons, rainbow cookies, and horrifying engagement expectations.

💡 In this episode, we dig into:

Why Megan left (and why we’re still talking about it like it's a soap opera).
How Long Island moms are financing their kid-free moments with Facebook Marketplace deals.
Engagement ring hot takes—are surprises overrated or just another thing men are messing up?
The bizarre and delightful world of Disney swingers.

The laughs are nonstop, the sarcasm is high, and the content is as chaotic as Megan's return. Tune in for one helluva ride.

Don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe—because let’s be honest, you’ve got nothing better to do right now.

Some of us tried or pretended to try Zyns Dec 02, 2024

Show notes

🎙️ Welcome to "Some of Us Tried or Pretended to Try Zyns" – the episode where the gang experiments with Zyns and spirals into conversations ranging from nicotine science to Long Island conspiracy theories. Hosts JK, Jackie, Jesse, and Kurt dive headfirst into chaos, mixing New York sarcasm with nicotine buzz revelations.

🛑 Spoiler Alert: JK might be the ultimate puppet master, Jackie’s got tea (but not the gossipy kind), Jesse admits he’s a blueberry hair product connoisseur, and Kurt? Let’s just say he’s the risk-positive wildcard.

From debates on the ethics of communal hair combs to whether sticking Zyns in foreskins for a "faster hit" is a thing (hint: don’t), this episode has it all. It's a messy mix of experimentation, bad ideas, and the kind of camaraderie you only get in a room full of people daring each other to make terrible life choices.

[00:00] Intro

[05:23] Trying Zyns: First reactions (and regrets)

[12:47] Communal bathrooms: The pube crisis of 2024

[24:15] Election night recaps: Trump parties & Ronkonkoma warehouses

[30:55] Outro: Spit cups, foreskins, and final thoughts

What Happened to the Art of Movies? Nov 19, 2024

Show notes

Buckle up, folks, because in this episode, hosts Jesse, Kurt, and Jon are all over the map—from mispronouncing "Joaquin" to dissecting the wildest films and streaming shows. Expect hot takes on Joker (Is it really a musical?), rants about HBO Max’s rebrand to “Max” (why???), and a trip down memory lane with Apocalypse Now and Forrest Gump. You’ll get insider scoops on Hollywood’s most “method” actors, the challenges of on-screen romance, and some serious questioning of why anyone would make Gladiator 2. And yes, there’s a spirited debate on whether turkeys in Patchogue are fair game (don’t ask). Join us for a hilarious, unfiltered conversation.

Timestamps:

[00:00] Intro

[10:14] Joaquin Phoenix or Ho-Keem Phoenix?

[22:37] What’s Wrong with the Joker Movie?

[34:00] Apocalypse Now Behind the Scenes

[47:15] HBO Max Rebrand Rant

[1:00:55] Gladiator 2—Unnecessary?

[1:12:10] Are Turkeys Fair Game?

[1:25:30] Outro

Small Heads, Big Hats Nov 11, 2024

Show notes

Who knew hats could spark this much debate? In this episode, we dive into everything from style experiments (shoutout to Hunter S. Thompson) to the ultimate hat choices for people with ‘small heads.’

Join us as we check in on each other’s lives, talk about a potential new guest host, and tackle the big questions: who are these guys, and what’s up with all the dad hats? We get nostalgic over old-school landlines, discuss parenting in the age of phones, and share some candid thoughts on kids, friends, and modern communication.

Plus, we talk about the one item every New Yorker should own, why we think some hats were just not meant to be, and what happens when you accidentally leave your phone at Starbucks. From baseball caps to Hunter S. vibes, it’s a classic catch-up with laughs, a few surprising stories, and one or two too many opinions on hats.

Buckle up for a laid-back, funny, and totally unfiltered episode!

[00:00] Intro - You’re here, don’t ask why…

[05:23] Hat talk – Hunter S. Thompson’s impact on headgear

[12:47] The Diddy dilemma – we swear, no more Diddy talk!

[24:15] Kids, cursing, and dealing with teenage texts

[30:55] Outro – Because every podcast needs an exit plan

The Election Day Dilemma Nov 04, 2024

Show notes

Join hosts Kurt, JK, and Jacki on the latest episode of 'Who Are These Guys?' as they dive into a wide range of intriguing topics.

From discussing the importance of voting and political perspectives to funny anecdotes about dealing with rude people and interesting nightlife experiences.

They cover everything from their opinions on tipping culture to hilarious personal stories, like Jacki's almost-a-boat-trip adventure and a run-in with suspicious parking attendants.

Don't miss the lively conversation, including thoughts on universal income, generational differences, and the unique quirks of convenience in New York City.

00:39 Photo Anxiety and Confidence Issues

02:38 Kratom Conversations and Homemade Brews

06:20 Name Changes and Family Stories

12:27 Sleep Troubles and Late-Night Shopping

22:26 Monopoly Memories and Video Game Temptations

25:27 Gaming Addiction and Simulated Seasons

29:52 Sleep Struggles and Remedies

34:54 Political Views and Voting Debates

47:03 Conspiracy Theories and Celebrity Scandals

53:38 Presidential Longevity and Special Treatment

59:01 Bar Culture and Jukebox Nostalgia

01:02:32 Karaoke Adventures and Unexpected Encounters

01:09:16 Tipping Etiquette and Modern Dilemmas

01:17:00 Taylor Swift Cruise and Parking Scams

Snack Chats and Wellness Debates Oct 28, 2024

Show notes

Welcome back to “Who Are These Guys?” where we tackle the real questions you didn’t know you had.

On today’s episode, Jesse, Jon, Kurt, and Katie take you on a wild ride of half-empty water bottles, legendary snack debates, and somehow end up diagnosing each other’s health problems with the expertise of a Times Square hotdog vendor.

From “do you really drink enough water?” to why Uncrustables might be your new obsession, this episode’s got it all – sarcasm, snacks, and unsolicited medical opinions.

Grab a seat – or a bottle of water – and get ready to dive in. We promise, it’s more refreshing than kale juice.

[00:30] - Real talk: why don’t people drink water?

[02:45] - The gospel of Uncrustables

[08:15] - Celebrating (or criticizing) Columbus Day

[15:40] - Peanut Butter vs. Jelly: The ultimate debate

[22:10] - “Carton” or “Jug”? Milk container wars

[35:20] - Medical advice you probably shouldn’t follow

[49:55] - Modern snacks and the mystery of 7-Eleven

[01:02:30] - Election thoughts…or lack thereof

Dance or Die Oct 14, 2024

Show notes

Tune into 'Who Are These Guys?' with Jesse, JK, and Kurt as they delve into concert nostalgia and celebrity controversies, from Diddy's legendary parties to the enigma of fame.

Laugh your way through spontaneous banter about New York Strip origins, misunderstood rules, and bold podcasting ideas.

With a sprinkle of jiu-jitsu and Hollywood humor, this vibrant podcast episode offers a vivid lens into cultural phenomena and social media's impact, topped with Jesse's ambitions for a big-money twist!

00:45 Steak Preferences and Meat Washing Debate

10:00 Concert Etiquette and Annoyances

14:48 Live Music Experiences and Venue Reviews

23:03 Celebrity Gossip and Scandals

29:28 Diddy and the Scandalous Allegations

33:24 Bill Gates and Conspiracy Theories

34:51 The Rise of TikTok and Viral Content

44:45 The Dark Side of Fame

48:28 Jiu Jitsu and Combat Sports

56:36 Staycation and Personal Life