Who Are These Guys?

Latest Episodes:

Irish Goodbyes & The Science of Day Drinking Mar 17, 2025

Show notes

Welcome back to Who Are These Guys?, the only podcast where sarcasm is an art form and day drinking is a science. This week, Jesse, JK, and Kurt dissect the beauty of the Irish Goodbye - because saying goodbye is for amateurs. Then, we take a deep dive into the fine-tuned mechanics of day drinking: the peak hours, the inevitable crash, and why it almost always ends in either a fight or a nap.

Other highlights include:

⚡ Jesse’s alleged return from the dead (again)

⚡ The great vibrator debate - do all women really have one?

⚡ Drunk friends vs. regular friends: why the former are the worst

⚡ The awkward gym couple: sunglasses inside and public makeout sessions

⚡ The absolute necessity of a post-dinner fancy drink (because we’re adults, damn it)

Oh, and of course - more updates on Kurt’s questionable training regimen for the upcoming boxing match. Will he train? Will he forget? Will he show up wearing a tank top? The suspense is thrilling.

Buckle up, crack a cold one (at the appropriate hour), and get ready to laugh, groan, and maybe even learn something (but probably not).

🔻 TIMESTAMPS

[00:00] Intro

[05:23] Jesse’s grand return (again)

[12:47] The Irish Goodbye: Art or Rudeness?

[24:15] Science of Day Drinking: Peak Hours & Consequences

[30:55] Outro – Should Kurt be worried about this fight?

Jesse & Kurt Are Fighting Each Other… Literally Mar 13, 2025

Show notes

This week, things get physical—literally. Jesse and Kurt have officially challenged each other to a boxing match, and they’re figuring out the rules, the training, and who’s most likely to embarrass themselves. Will Jesse’s experience give him the upper hand, or will Kurt’s underdog energy make him the people’s champ?

🔔 TURN ON NOTIFICATIONS so you don’t miss our bi-weekly fight check-ins leading up to the big fight in October!

Other highlights:

🛍️ CVS is selling what now? Yeah, we deep dive into the “self-care” aisle and question what’s become of society.

🎬 Movies? TV? Who even watches those anymore? Jesse’s phone addiction is ruining his attention span, and Kurt has some thoughts.

👞 Socks vs. Underwear Debate: What’s the better fresh-out-of-the-package feeling?

🥊 Press Conference Incoming: Will we see some classic trash talk at the weigh-in?

Timestamps

00:00 Exploring the CVS Aisle

01:19 Reality TV and Multitasking

03:53 Entenmann's and Regional Differences

13:11 Embarrassing Supermarket Purchases

27:15 Plane Crashes and Conspiracies

36:54 Controversial Celebrity Actions

38:54 The Impact of Fame on Mental Health

41:30 Social Media Strategies and Celebrity Marketing

49:34 The Celebrity Boxing Challenge

01:02:18 Debate on Social Etiquette and Personal Habits

01:11:47 Concluding Thoughts and Future Plans

Sniff This Boom Boom Stick Mar 10, 2025

Show notes

Welcome back to Who Are These Guys? the only podcast where three guys with New York accents and questionable judgment explore the weirdest corners of the internet and life itself.

Today, JK, Jesse, and Kurt dive nose-first into the world of Boom Boom Sticks- because nothing says "health and wellness" like aggressively huffing essential oils on a podcast.

We also unpack the strangest hobby sports you’ve never heard of (hobby BMX? Hobby kayaking? Who's funding this madness?), get nostalgic over McDonald’s snack wraps, debate the ethics of gambling addiction, and, of course, discuss whether we should get custom molds of our junk (spoiler: some of us are more excited about this than others).

If that wasn’t enough, we touch on true crime, health insurance scams, and why throwing a stale-ass scone out of a moving car is way more fun than eating it.

Oh, and don’t forget- "Now yous can’t leave."

👇 Timestamps & Chaos 👇

00:00 Introduction to Boom Boom Sticks

01:25 Addiction and Essential Oils

04:02 Hobby Horse and Other Unusual Hobbies

08:17 Gambling and Betting Stories

13:48 Healthcare and Insurance Rants

20:12 True Crime and Documentaries

29:37 Neighborhood Memories and Italian Culture

36:35 Bar Etiquette and Buybacks

42:38 Fast Food Preferences and McDonald's Insights

47:13 Fitness Routines and Coffee Quality

49:46 VHS Tapes and Unexpected Value

Swipe Right on This Podcast Feb 24, 2025

Show notes

Welcome to Where Are The Guys?, the podcast where sarcasm is our love language, and bad takes are our bread and butter. This week, we’re tackling the modern dating scene with all the enthusiasm of a New Yorker giving directions to a tourist who just asked if Times Square is a good place to eat.

Swipe left, swipe right, accidentally super-like someone you meant to ghost—it’s all fair game in this episode. We talk dating apps, the decline of human interaction, and why men with manicures might just be the future. Plus, we get into the absolute chaos that is attraction, relationships, and whether Subaru is secretly running a targeted ad campaign for lesbians.

We also cover:

🔹 The death of organic dating—RIP bar meet-cutes

🔹 The science (or lack thereof) behind attraction

🔹 How to tell if someone is just using dating apps as an ego boost

🔹 Bill Belichick’s 24-year-old girlfriend: true love or just really great Wi-Fi?

🔹 The worst dating app behaviors that should be punishable by law

Tinder bios are fake, hinge prompts are cringe, and let's be honest—everyone is lying. Welcome to dating in 2025.

📌 Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction: The Lesbian Car Debate

00:27 Subaru Stereotypes and Personal Experiences

01:43 Gender Roles and Relationship Dynamics

03:34 Communication Styles and Social Interactions

06:16 Gym Anecdotes and Awkward Moments

12:30 Modeling Gig and Future Plans

18:57 Pranks, Perms, and Social Observations

29:26 Celebrity Gossip and NDAs

33:09 Trust Issues in Modern Relationships

33:17 Sports Talk: Bill Belichick's Age Gap Relationship

33:38 The Dynamics of Age-Gap Relationships

34:10 Sexual Attraction and NDAs

34:35 The Reality of Dating Older Partners

36:02 The Tuck Rule Anniversary

36:29 Defining Love and Connection

43:19 The Impact of Dating Apps

54:59 The Future of Human Interaction

01:01:12 Modeling and Male Models

01:04:09 Coffee Enemas and Other Trends

01:06:49 Final Thoughts and Wrap-Up

If You Don’t Take Care of Yourself, Who Will? Feb 24, 2025

Show notes

Welcome back to “Who Are These Guys”, where we say what everyone else is thinking but is too polite to say.

In this episode, Kurt, Jesse, and JK dive headfirst into self-care, or more accurately—Kurt’s complete and total lack of it. It’s a no-holds-barred intervention disguised as a podcast, packed with New York sarcasm, unsolicited life advice, and the kind of brutal honesty you only get from friends who love you (or at least tolerate you).

🔹 Should you take care of yourself, or just lean into the chaos?

🔹 Why do parents over-schedule their kids like they’re training for the Olympics?

🔹 How does smoking a pack a day while running on three hours of sleep not count as self-care?

🔹 Also… why are people still congregating in the kitchen at parties?

If you've ever had someone tell you, "Wow, you look tired," and resisted the urge to punch them in the face, this episode is for you.

⏳ Timestamps

00:00 Compliments and Promotions

00:13 Missing the Event

00:49 Unexpected Confrontation

02:51 Self-Care Debate

10:19 Saturday Night Reflections

12:28 Event Recap

18:45 Health and Habits

21:45 Basketball and Coaching

22:11 Health and Self-Care

22:50 Balancing Activities and Family

24:11 Kids and Sports Pressure

26:32 Parenting Styles and Choices

35:20 Podcast and Media Consumption

36:58 Political Views and Reactions

38:59 Struggles with Smoking

44:57 Reflections and Personal Growth

48:46 Concluding Thoughts

So Let Me Ask You Something Feb 13, 2025

Show notes

📢 Welcome to “Who Are These Guys?” , where sarcasm is our love language, and we serve up hot takes like a fresh New York slice. Hosted by JK & Kurt with guest Katie Ka$h from “First Down Dawgs?” and Angelo Costellino aka “So Let Me Ask You Something!”. This episode dives into viral fame, the strange magic of Entenmann’s cakes, and the wild ride of being a content creator in the social media age.

🎤 Our guest? A man who went from hosing down his driveway in socks to having people send him baked goods like he's the Pope of Pastries. We talk TikTok, comedy, growing up in Long Island, and why kids today don’t know how to play outside without an iPad. Plus, we solve the age-old debate: is a Dunkin’ Donut even a real donut?

💥 If you love New York banter, irrational food opinions, and a podcast that sounds like it’s recorded in a diner booth at 3 AM, you’re in the right place. Hit LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and COMMENT with your favorite Entenmann’s cake—because, let’s be real, we all have one.

📌 TIMESTAMPS:

00:51 The TikTok Addiction

02:43 The Comedy Journey

10:34 The Entenmann's Craze

18:50 Parenting in the Digital Age

27:30 Travel Tales and Disney Adventures

40:58 Unexpected Success Stories

44:10 Family Dynamics and Social Media

46:44 Food Talk: From Cakes to Donuts

53:53 Parenting in the Digital Age

01:13:34 Podcasting and Content Creation Insights

01:16:36 Conclusion and Farewell

Blame It All On Romantic Comedies Feb 04, 2025

Show notes

Ever wonder why your love life is a mess? Maybe it's not you—maybe it's the damn romantic comedies you grew up watching.

This week, the guys take a deep dive into the world of rom-coms and how they may have set an entire generation up for failure. From unrealistic meet-cutes to grand gestures that would get you arrested in real life, we’re breaking it all down with that signature New York charm (read: sarcasm).

Oh, and somewhere along the way, we debate whether long hair makes you look fatter, reminisce about the golden age of MTV Unplugged. Yeah, it’s that kind of episode. Buckle up.

📌 Timestamps:

00:00 Romcoms and Unrealistic Expectations

01:01 Wet Hair and Night Showers

05:31 Live Music vs. Studio Recordings

09:09 Nostalgia and Music Discovery

14:36 Gay Jokes and College Stories

21:25 Trump, TikTok, and Conspiracies

29:36 Dreams and Nightmares

31:53 Drunken Mishaps and Regrets

40:19 Fights and Consequences

48:06 Winter Blues and Seasonal Changes

51:32 Cold Plunge Challenges

55:30 Upcoming Events and Plans

The Comet’s Coming For Earth: Plan Accordingly Jan 28, 2025

Show notes

This week on Who Are These Guys, Jesse, JK & Kurt take you on a rollercoaster of existential dread and comedic relief in The Comet’s Coming for Earth: Plan Accordingly.

Because why wait for the apocalypse when you can laugh at it now? 🌍💥

We dive deep into the big questions:

What would YOU do if a comet was hurling towards Earth? (Hint: JK’s going full Mad Max while Jesse’s busy rationing his chocolate cake.)

Why does the "comet guy" exist, and why does he immediately need an NDA?

The psychology of chaos, end-of-the-world etiquette, and why the rich always seem to know something we don’t (looking at you, Bezos).

Oh, and the ongoing debate about whether the apocalypse is better with locusts or a meteor smash. 🦗☄️

Sprinkle in some debates about coffee trash, gym disasters, and rogue laundry habits, and you’ve got the perfect recipe for an episode that asks, “Why are we like this?”

Stick around till the end where things get weirder (robots, AI, and… blow job bots, anyone?).

Timestamps:

00:00 The End of the World: Comet Scenarios

01:33 Personal Habits and Quirks

03:13 Household Chores and Responsibilities

09:31 Weight and Health Discussions

26:35 Casinos and Gambling

28:16 California Wildfires and Conspiracies

30:04 Conspiracy Theories and Corruption

33:19 Cultural Differences: Canada vs. Mexico

37:31 Tech Giants and AI

41:11 The Future of AI and Society

45:29 Hypothetical Scenarios and Human Nature

48:59 The End of the World: Comets and Disasters

54:36 The Role of AI in Our Lives

01:03:03 The Future of Human-Robot Interaction

Replacing Conflict with Cannabis Jan 20, 2025

Show notes

Welcome to Weed and the Good Times, where Jesse and Kurt roll up topics that matter and light the match of debate (or maybe just good vibes). In this episode, we take a sharp turn from drunken brawls to cannabis camaraderie. Who needs fight juice when you’ve got happy juice?

This week, the duo is joined by a very special guest who spills the tea—and THC—on how cannabis is bridging gaps, solving conflicts, and creating connections we didn’t know we needed. From hilarious childhood fight spots outside pizza joints to conspiracies about why Big Pharma isn’t vibing with legalized weed, this episode has it all. Plus, we’re diving deep into why Long Island’s cannabis culture deserves some love and how it’s reshaping the way we gather, laugh, and bond.

Timestamps:

[00:00] Intro

[05:23] The fight outside the pizza shop: Long Island nostalgia

[12:47] Cannabis vs. Alcohol: Who’s the real troublemaker?

[24:15] Big Pharma conspiracies and the future of cannabis culture

[30:55] Outro and why Jesse still can’t activate his train ticket

The Cold Plunge Challenge Jan 13, 2025

Show notes

In the latest episode of Who Are The Guys?, Jesse, JK, Kurt & Jacki delve into the nostalgic comparisons between generations, discussing how they grew up without the rapid technological advancements we see today.

They explore the mechanisms behind OnlyFans, discussing its various uses beyond adult content and the complexities of its marketing strategies. The conversation also covers podcast dynamics, the art of engaging public speaking, and personal anecdotes about cold plunges, sauna experiences, and unexpected interactions in bathhouses.

The hosts reflect on their current routines, job responsibilities, and fitness challenges, emphasizing the importance of self-improvement and personal growth.

00:48 Exploring the OnlyFans Phenomenon

08:39 Cold Plunge Challenge and Reactions

25:58 Gym Routines and Fitness Discussions

37:25 Cold Plunge Reflections and Future Plans

39:20 Sauna Cleanliness Debate

43:21 Spa and Wellness Centers

44:33 Awkward Bathhouse Experiences

55:27 Unusual Sports and New Year Resolutions

01:09:36 Cannabis Beverages and Dosage

01:12:52 Travel Dreams and Social Dynamics

01:14:26 Wrapping Up and Future Plans