What We Really Want: Conversations About Connection

Latest Episodes:

33 | Joanna & Matthew Raabsmith: Taking the Small Wins Mar 18, 2025

Show notes

"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"

Our guests this week understand the tough path to be navigated by couples recovering from sexual betrayal. Joanna and Matthew Raabsmith walked through this themselves when, three years into marriage, Matthew confessed his sexual addiction while Joanna was in training to become a therapist.

Out of their own healing experience they have created a counseling practice called The Raabsmith Team, located in Memphis TN. Joanna (as a therapist) and Matthew (as a certified coach) and their team work with couples and individuals with a strong emphasis on helping people heal from sexual addiction and betrayal trauma.

We talked about how tricky it can be for a healing couple to walk through the minefield of sexual reconnection, and discovering - often for the first time - a healthy, connected sexual relationship. Considering how daunting a task this is, it's important for couples to set reasonable expectations and measurable goals, and to take the "small wins" whenever they come.

Joanna and Matthew are the co-authors, along with Dan Drake, of the book Building True Intimacy: Creating a Connection That Stands the Test of Time.

#raabsmithteam #joannaraabsmith #matthewraabsmith #marriage #couplestherapy #counseling #recovery #sexaddiction #pornaddiction #betrayaltrauma #sexualaddiction #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw #grace #connection #conversation

The Raabsmith Team main site

The Honest Connection (free resource)

Renewing Us couples retreat info

Building True Intimacy on Amazon

Support the show

Awaken's CONNECT Men's Weekend registration (Oct. 9-11, 2026)

Awaken website
Roots Retreat Men's Intensive
Roots Retreat Women's Workshop
Awaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

32 | Blake Roberts: It's the Three Percent Mar 04, 2025

Show notes

"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"

It can be terrifying to give another person full access to what we're thinking, feeling, believing, and struggling with. That's why almost no one does it. Even at our most vulnerable, most of us still withhold maybe 3% of what we really need to share.

This is the foundation of a new company/community launching this week. The Three Percent Co. was founded by Jamie Haigh and today's guest, Blake Roberts. Jamie and Blake are therapists in Nashville who met in the rooms of recovery. They developed a friendship in which they grew to trust each other enough to admit when they were withholding and needed to share "the three percent."

The Three Percent Co. is a space for "pursuing holistic masculinity, growing your emotional awareness, and cultivating deeper relationships and an authentic faith."

In our conversation we talked about how men can experience the presence of God when we connect with our own bodies and through safe, trusted friendships.

#BlakeRoberts #ThreePercentCo #JamieHaigh #friendship #therapy #counseling #recovery #sexaddiction #pornaddiction #sexualaddiction #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw #grace #connection #conversation

Three Percent Co. main site

Blake Roberts therapist site

The Man the Moment Demands on Amazon (Jason Wilson book Blake referenced)

Support the show

Awaken's CONNECT Men's Weekend registration (Oct. 9-11, 2026)

Awaken website
Roots Retreat Men's Intensive
Roots Retreat Women's Workshop
Awaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

29 | Ian Morgan Cron: Desperate for a Fix Mar 01, 2025

Show notes

"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"

Walking through a life where so many things go wrong (often so early), it’s no wonder many people struggle to understand what they need or even who they really are. That’s why I was so excited to talk with Ian Morgan Cron.
Ian is is an author, speaker, psychotherapist, songwriter, and Episcopal priest. He’s also known for popularizing the Enneagram, a personality typing system identifying nine types of people and how they relate to one another and the world. Ian’s book The Road Back to You, is considered by many to be THE authoritative primer on understanding the Enneagram.

In recovery since 1987, Ian also has a love for and belief in the efficacy of the Twelve Steps. In fact, he’s written a book about it. The Fix: How the Twelve Steps Offer a Surprising Path of Transformation for the Well-Adjusted, the Down-and-Out, and Everyone In Between released January 28, 2025.
#ianmorgancron #enneagram #theroadbacktoyou #thefix #typologypodcast #twelvesteps #purpose #gospel #grace #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw #connection #conversation
Ian Morgan Cron’s website
Ian’s books on Amazon
Typology podcast
“Self-Awareness” song by Andy Gullahorn

Support the show

Awaken's CONNECT Men's Weekend registration (Oct. 9-11, 2026)

Awaken website
Roots Retreat Men's Intensive
Roots Retreat Women's Workshop
Awaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

31 | Barnabas Piper: Why Is This Worth It? Feb 18, 2025

Show notes

"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"

People say, "Pain has a purpose." While we all know that's true, statements like that are often pretty unhelpful for the person in pain. Physical, emotional, relational, and spiritual pain takes a toll and can push people to doubt or even walk away from what they once believed.

Barnabas Piper is a pastor and author who has walked through a lot of his own pain. From the difficulties of growing up a pastor's kid (and a well-known pastor at that), to unexpected job loss, to an unwanted divorce, there were many experiences that led to cynicism in Barnabas' life.

In our conversation, we talked about his story, his pain & trauma, and why it invited him closer to God rather than driving him away. About how good care from loving people was a gift from God to help him heal. And about how our presence in other people's lives - as they walk through pain - can offer them the same gift.

Barnabas is an author, speaker, podcast host, and Assistant Pastor at Immanuel Church. He is married to Laura, is the father of three kids, and lives in Nashville TN.

#barnabaspiper #immanuelchurchnashville #helpmyunblief #thepastorskid #belong #johnpiper #pain #healing #church #gospel #grace #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw #connection #conversation

BarnabasPiper.com

Barnabas' books on Amazon

Immanuel Church, Nashville TN

Support the show

Awaken's CONNECT Men's Weekend registration (Oct. 9-11, 2026)

Awaken website
Roots Retreat Men's Intensive
Roots Retreat Women's Workshop
Awaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

30 | Sheila Wray Gregoire & Keith Gregoire: First Do No Harm Feb 04, 2025

Show notes

"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"

Greg & Stacey got to meet and talk with a couple we've wanted to know for a long time... a couple offering hope for men and women harmed by toxic messages.

Sheila Wray Gregoire has been a writer and blogger for many years. But in 2021, with the release of The Great Sex Rescue (which she co-authored with Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach and Joanna Sawatsky), she became an "infamous" name in evangelical Christian circles. The book calls out by name Christian books and authors whose messages contribute to harm within marriages and to individuals.

Along with her husband, Dr. Keith Gregoire, Sheila continues to promote the message that God intended men and women to experience incredible sexual intimacy in their marriages, and to provide resources to help people identify and heal from damaging messages they've always heard.

Their latest book, The Marriage You Want: Moving Beyond Stereotypes for a Relationship Built on Scripture, New Data, and Emotional Health, releases March 11, 2025.

#sheilawraygregoire #keithgregoire #thegreatsexrescue #themarriageyouwant #baremarriage #sexualintimacy #greatsex #gospel #grace #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw #connection #conversation

Sheila's website: Bare Marriage

Sheila on Instagram

Sheila & Keith's (and co-authors') books on Amazon

Video Course: The Whole Story: "The Talk" for Parents and Kids

Support the show

Awaken's CONNECT Men's Weekend registration (Oct. 9-11, 2026)

Awaken website
Roots Retreat Men's Intensive
Roots Retreat Women's Workshop
Awaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

28 | Greg & Stacey Oliver: Happy Anniversaries Jan 07, 2025

Show notes

"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"

For our first episode of 2025, Greg & Stacey talk about the first week of January, in which they have TWO significant anniversaries. The first is their wedding anniversary, but just two days later is the anniversary of Greg's "Fan Day," when his 20+ year-long addiction was exposed.
Each year, the first week of January is a chance for Greg & Stacey to reflect on where they are, what healing has looked like, and what they've learned in recovery. We hope as you listen to their 100% unscripted conversation, you'll be encouraged about what can happen when a person (or a couple) surrenders to God's process of healing and recovery.
Check out our links below, and PLEASE give us 5-stars and write a positive review wherever you get your podcasts!
#Greg Oliver #StaceyOliver #anniversary #anniversaries #fanday #therapy #counseling #recovery #sexaddiction #pornaddiction #sexualaddiction #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw #grace #connection #conversation
Red Therapy Group (practice in Franklin TN, offering Emotionally Focused Therapy marriage intensives)
Jenna Riemersma (expert in the Internal Family Systems model referred to in the episode)

Support the show

Awaken's CONNECT Men's Weekend registration (Oct. 9-11, 2026)

Awaken website
Roots Retreat Men's Intensive
Roots Retreat Women's Workshop
Awaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

27 | David Graves: Windows of Hope Dec 31, 2024

Show notes

"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"

We're closing out 2024 with a conversation with a long-time friend of mine. David Graves is - among many other interests - a photographer who uses his camera to capture images that connect us with faith.
This year he released a book, Alabama Faith: Churches and Stained Glass. It's a collection of over 125 photos from almost 100 churches across the state of Alabama. David's desire for the book is that these pictures would remind people that there is always hope, and that no one is ever beyond redemption.
Whether it's reminiscing about on-stage worship leading blunders, growing up in a family where not going to church on Christmas was NOT an option, or needing and receiving grace when life blows up, this was a great time for me to catch up with an old friend. As you prepare to walk into a new year, we hope it will encourage you to look for glimpses of hope wherever you are.
#davidgraves #alabamafaith #stainedglass #coffeetablebook #hope #redemption #gospel #grace #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw #connection #conversation
Alabama Faith: Churches and Stained Glass (on Amazon)
David's photography website
David on Instragram

Support the show

Awaken's CONNECT Men's Weekend registration (Oct. 9-11, 2026)

Awaken website
Roots Retreat Men's Intensive
Roots Retreat Women's Workshop
Awaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

26 | Mike Foster: Begging the Question Dec 24, 2024

Show notes

"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"

Known as the "Mr. Rogers of personal development," Mike Foster is a best-selling author, speaker, and executive coach empowering people to build strong lives by turning their setbacks into superpowers.
Mike is the creator of the Primal Question Framework, host of the highly acclaimed Primal Question podcast (formerly Fun Therapy), and creator of Rescue Academy, a training model for caregivers.
In our conversation we talk about curiosity and how it is an essential PRE-step to action. Curiosity helps us understand what we and others are going through, and also helps us determine what healthy actions we want and need to take. We also talk about his most recent passion, helping people identify their Primal Question, the one question that drives everything in life.

Mike lives in San Diego. He and his wife Jennifer have two grown children and live with their fluffy dogs.
#mikefoster #primalquestion #peopleofthesecondchance #rescueacademy #funtherapy #purpose #gospel #grace #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw #connection #conversation
Mike Foster's website (mikefoster.tv)
The Seven Primal Questions book (on Amazon)
Primal Question free assessment (5-7 minutes to complete)
Primal Question podcast (formerly called "Fun Therapy")
Rescue Academy (coaching tools for caregivers)
People of the Second Chance

Support the show

Awaken's CONNECT Men's Weekend registration (Oct. 9-11, 2026)

Awaken website
Roots Retreat Men's Intensive
Roots Retreat Women's Workshop
Awaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

25 | Will Mooney: I Won't Try to Fix You Dec 17, 2024

Show notes

"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"

The best therapists are the ones who have done their own work. That's what I love about my guest Will Mooney. Will has his own story of unwanted sexual behavior, and also of serving in pastoral ministry. After finding his own help and recovery, his life went in a new direction, away from working in the church and into becoming a therapist. Not only A therapist, Will happens to be MY therapist. 😊
In our conversation (which is NOT bound by confidentiality), we discuss how Will made the decision to pivot to counseling, our own relationship as therapist and client, and about the tendency many helpers have to "fix" clients instead of support them.
Will is deeply trained in the Neuro-Affective Relational Model (NARM), which employs curiosity, support, and the encouragement of self-agency on the part of the client. He is the founder and director of Made and Matter Counseling, and lives in the Nashville TN area with his wife and kids.
#willmooney #madeandmattercounseling #therapy #counseling #narm #narmtraining #gospel #recovery #sexaddiction #pornaddiction #sexualaddiction #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw #grace #connection #conversation
Made and Matter Counseling (Will's counseling practice)
NARM Training Institute (counseling modality we discussed, including how to find a NARM practitioner in your area or virtually)
Questions For Jesus (book Will referenced)

Support the show

Awaken's CONNECT Men's Weekend registration (Oct. 9-11, 2026)

Awaken website
Roots Retreat Men's Intensive
Roots Retreat Women's Workshop
Awaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

24 | Mike Donehey: Feel It Before You Fix It Dec 10, 2024

Show notes

"Send us a message! (questions, feedback, etc.)"

Over the past 25 years in Christian music, few other bands have been as influential or have a sound as instantly recognizable as Tenth Avenue North. They have released multiple records with hope-filled songs for people who live with crippling shame.
Tenth Avenue North's "frontman," Mike Donehey, started the band while all the members were in college. For two decades their music was everywhere - on the radio, on people's iPods, and being sung & played in churches all over the world. Then in 2020, growing families and the toll of being on the road led the band to call it quits. As Mike says, they were committed "not to sacrifice family on the altar of our band."
After a short time as a solo artist, Mike really missed playing with a band, and in a gift to all of us recently relaunched Tenth Avenue North. The sound is fresh but still familiar, some of the other members are new, but the purpose is the same... as Mike puts it: "I just want to lift peoples' shame, one song at a time."
Our conversation chases down a lot of paths - a (literal) back-breaking high school injury that was the catalyst to Mike learning to play guitar, to the early days of the band, to the things he learned in transition, to what provides creative "irritation" for not only songwriting but also writing books. Throughout the conversation, though, what is constant is Mike's thoughtfulness and focus on things that really matter.
#mikedonehey #tenthavenuenorth #noshame #thestruggle #thelightmeetsthedark #followers #cathedrals #findinggodslifeformywill #graceinthegray #gospel #grace #awaken #awakenrecovery #awakenpodcast #whatwereallywant #wwrw #connection #conversation
Tenth Avenue North band website
Mike Donehey artist website
Mike's books

Support the show

Awaken's CONNECT Men's Weekend registration (Oct. 9-11, 2026)

Awaken website
Roots Retreat Men's Intensive
Roots Retreat Women's Workshop
Awaken Men & Women's support meeting info (including virtual)

Our TOPPODCAST Picks

Follow Us

Stay Connected

What We Really Want: Conversations About Connection

Related Podcasts

Links

Stay Connected