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What Fresh Hell: Parenting, Relationships, and Making Life Better, with Two Funny Moms

When you’re a parent, every day brings a “fresh hell” to deal with. In other words, there’s always something. Think of us as your funny mom friends who are here to remind you: you’re not alone, and it won’t always be this hard.
We’re Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables, both busy moms of three kids, but with completely different parenting styles. Margaret is a laid-back to the max; Amy never met a spreadsheet or an organizational system she didn’t like.
In each episode of “What Fresh Hell” we offer lots of laughs, but also practical advice, parenting strategies, and tips to empower you in your role as a mom. We explore self-help techniques, as well as ways to prioritize your own needs, combat stress, and despite the invisible workload we all deal with, find joy amidst the chaos of motherhood.
If you’ve ever wondered “why is my kid…” then one of us has probably been there, and we’re here to tell you what we’ve learned along the way.
We unpack the behaviors and developmental stages of toddlers, tweens, and teenagers, providing insights into their actions and equipping you with effective parenting strategies.
We offer our best parenting tips and skills we’ve learned. We debate the techniques and studies that are everywhere for parents these days, and get to the bottom of what works best to raise happy, healthy, fairly well-behaved kids, while fostering a positive parent-child relationship.
If you’re the default parent in your household, whether you’re a busy mom juggling multiple pickups and dropoffs, or a first-time parent seeking guidance, this podcast is your trusted resource. Join our community of supportive mom friends laughing in the face of motherhood!
whatfreshhellpodcast.com

Copyright: Copyright © 2016-2023 What Fresh Hell, LLC

Latest Episodes:

Let's Rethink Birthday Parties Sep 08, 2021

Show notes

Have we utterly lost the script when it comes to kids' birthday parties? Or are the backyard tents and petting zoos and themed catering lots of fun, and that's all that matters? Is there anything to be gained by simplifying the expectations, the gift-giving, and the goodie bags?

In this episode we tease out what feels important about our kids' birthday celebrations from what can probably be put aside– and offer ideas for parties that are super-fun without breaking the bank.

Have you checked out our merch yet? T-shirts, hoodies, notebooks and more: bit.ly/whatfreshmerch.

Special thanks to this month's sponsors:

Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling.

Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically proven feminine dryness formula. Go to membrasinlife.com to find out more- and use the code FRESH to get 10% off.

Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it! Get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing.

KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun– and best of all, kids of all ages can work on them independently! Get your first month FREE on select crates at kiwico.com/motherhood.

Green Chef’s expert chefs design flavorful recipes that go way beyond the ordinary. Go to greenchef.com/laughing100 and use code laughing100 to get $100 off including free shipping!

Happy Dance skin care products are made with premium ingredients, including the highest quality CBD. Get 15% off your first Happy Dance order by going to doahappydance.com/laughing.

Helixcustomized mattresses will give you the best sleep of your life! Get up to $200 off all mattress orders, plus two free pillows, at helixSleep.com/laughing.

Design like a pro with Canva Pro! We use it for all our images– we've upped our game and saved time too. Right now, you can get a FREE 45-day extended trial when you go to canva.me/fresh.

The Cozi Family Organizeris for anyone juggling camp schedules, practices, meetings, doctor’s appointments, and maybe a date night once in a while. Download Cozi for free from the app store!

Magic Spoon cereal gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- and with 0 grams of sugar. Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH and use the codeFRESH at checkout to get $5 off!

Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ask Margaret - My Kid Doesn't Want to Spend Time With Friends Sep 06, 2021

Show notes

As parents, the thing we want most is for our children to be happy. When we see one of our kids spending a lot of time alone, and struggling with friendship,s it's natural to worry. But it's also important to resist the urge to swoop in and attempt to solve those problems.

If a child seems depressed or extremely isolated, it is time to involve a therapist. But if a kid is going through a spell where they are struggling in more typical ways– especially in the middle or high school years– try to remember:

to keep your own emotions out of it. Don't dive in to your own reactivity.
not to ask a ton of questions, or offer "helpful observations" which might make your struggling kid feel singled out.
to set your kid up for success by being a safe space for them to share information. Make family meal times and outings a non-negotiable routine. They're an opportunity for you to share your perspective and advice about friendships in general without putting your kid in the hot seat.

Especially in times of turmoil, be the island of safety from which your kids can navigate the rough waters of growing up. All kids will face tough times in their friendships, but they need our grown-up guidance more than they need us to take control.

Margaret quotes this article in this episode:

Barb Steinberg for Your Teen Mag: My Teenage Daughter Has No Friends

Special thanks to our "Question of the Week" sponsor:

Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

BEST OF: Husband Crimes- Can This Marriage Be Saved? Sep 03, 2021

Show notes

It's a "Best Of" episode– and one of our all-time funniest. We asked our listeners to tell us their spouse/partner's most unacceptable- and also extremely minor- infractions. We got 356 responses.

Whether it’s turning off the AC because of a nonexistent "cross breeze," creating a Sock Mountain, or pausing Netflix to point out plot holes, these husband (and wife) crimes are outrages which deserve justice.

Join the fun in our Facebook group!

Special thanks to this month's sponsors:

Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling.

Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically proven feminine dryness formula. Go to membrasinlife.com to find out more- and use the code FRESH to get 10% off.

Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it! Get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing.

KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun– and best of all, kids of all ages can work on them independently! Get your first month FREE on select crates at kiwico.com/motherhood.

Green Chef’s expert chefs design flavorful recipes that go way beyond the ordinary. Go to greenchef.com/laughing100 and use code laughing100 to get $100 off including free shipping!

Happy Dance skin care products are made with premium ingredients, including the highest quality CBD. Get 15% off your first Happy Dance order by going to doahappydance.com/laughing.

Helixcustomized mattresses will give you the best sleep of your life! Get up to $200 off all mattress orders, plus two free pillows, at helixSleep.com/laughing.

Design like a pro with Canva Pro! We use it for all our images– we've upped our game and saved time too. Right now, you can get a FREE 45-day extended trial when you go to canva.me/fresh.

The Cozi Family Organizeris for anyone juggling camp schedules, practices, meetings, doctor’s appointments, and maybe a date night once in a while. Download Cozi for free from the app store!

Magic Spoon cereal gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- and with 0 grams of sugar. Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH and use the codeFRESH at checkout to get $5 off!

Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Rule Breaker Or Rule Follower: Which Are You? Sep 01, 2021

Show notes

Are you a rule breaker or a rule follower? Are you married to your opposite? We're both rule followers, and when one builds a life with someone who sees the "NO DOGS IN THE LAKE" sign as an invitation to let the golden retriever go for a swim, one is caught between two bad choices: swallow the horrible anxiety that others might think *you* are the sort of person who has zero consideration for clearly posted signage, or be the stick in the mud who can never loosen up a little.

In this episode we discuss why both kinds of people exist, and bump up against each other– and

why the "no rules pool" isn't as fun as it sounds
how rules limit possibilities, good and bad
why humans tend to create more rules during and after times of struggle
whether kids are born to be rule followers

It's worth the struggle to find the balance for our families. In order for our kids to have the secret thrill of breaking a rule, there need to be a few rules there in the first place.

Here are links to some of the writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode:

Michele Gelfand: Rule Makers, Rule Breakers: How Tight and Loose Cultures Wire Our World

jthreenme: Raising a Rule Follower When You're Married To a Rule Breaker

Diane Spear: Play By the Relationship Rules!

Michele Gelfand for The Guardian: Why countries with 'loose', rule-breaking cultures have been hit harder by Covid

Wikipedia: Rumspringa

Special thanks to this month's sponsors:

Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling.

Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically proven feminine dryness formula. Go to membrasinlife.com to find out more- and use the code FRESH to get 10% off.

Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it! Get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing.

KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun– and best of all, kids of all ages can work on them independently! Get your first month FREE on select crates at kiwico.com/motherhood.

Green Chef’s expert chefs design flavorful recipes that go way beyond the ordinary. Go to greenchef.com/laughing100 and use code laughing100 to get $100 off including free shipping!

Happy Dance skin care products are made with premium ingredients, including the highest quality CBD. Get 15% off your first Happy Dance order by going to doahappydance.com/laughing.

Helixcustomized mattresses will give you the best sleep of your life! Get up to $200 off all mattress orders, plus two free pillows, at helixSleep.com/laughing.

Design like a pro with Canva Pro! We use it for all our images– we've upped our game and saved time too. Right now, you can get a FREE 45-day extended trial when you go to canva.me/fresh.

The Cozi Family Organizeris for anyone juggling camp schedules, practices, meetings, doctor’s appointments, and maybe a date night once in a while. Download Cozi for free from the app store!

Magic Spoon cereal gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- and with 0 grams of sugar. Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH and use the codeFRESH at checkout to get $5 off!

Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ask Amy- Is My Kid *Trying* To Be This Difficult? Aug 30, 2021

Show notes

Sometimes it seems like our kids are actually out to make our relationships with them worse. This week's question comes from our Facebook group:

I think my 9-year-old is "soiling the nest." Is it normal at his age to try to get me to hate him?

"Soiling the nest" is a term psychologists usually apply to kids about to leave home for college. Rather than deal with their ambivalence about leaving their childhood home, they "trash" it, making the departure easier. Basically, it's a "this place sucks anyhow!" attitude that is self-fulfilling.

A 9-year-old is probably not doing this, exactly, but he could definitely be dealing with some anxiety about pandemic school, soccer tryouts, or other things that are less immediately obvious.

Or maybe he's just being 9. Dr. Arnold Gesell's child development theory posits that children develop in a cyclical, spiral pattern, from periods of calm equilibrium to unsettled disequilibrium and back again. These sequences are similar and predictable for all kids, and although each develops at her own pace, the Center for Parenting Education says that "nine-year-oldsseem to exhibit many worries and anxieties, and become more demanding as they cycle once again into disequilibrium."

Knowing this is a phase, and that your child will return to his calmer, happier version of himself in about a year, can make dealing with the present nest-spoiling moment a little easier. It doesn't mean you don't ever push back on the back talk. But he'll probably grow out of it on his own very soon.

For more on Gesell's theories and how it played out in her family, check out Amy's book When Did I Get Like This?

Here are two articles on the topic that Amy cites in this episode:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/parenting/wp/2016/07/05/when-your-child-soils-the-nest-just-before-leaving-it/

https://centerforparentingeducation.org/library-of-articles/child-development/developmental-stages-the-roller-coaster-of-equilibrium-and-disequilibrium/

Special thanks to our "Question of the Week" sponsor:

Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Fresh Take: Christina Hillsberg on How Being a Spy Prepared Her For Parenting Aug 27, 2021

Show notes

Christina Hillsberg is a former spy who worked at the CIA for more than twenty years before transitioning to the private sector. Her new book is LICENSE TO PARENT: How My Career as a Spy Helped Me Raise Resourceful, Self-Sufficient Kids, which provides both an inside look into one of the world’s most clandestine organizations, and a practical guide for how to utilize key spy tactics to teach kids important life skills.

Christina believes teaching our kids the skills they need to navigate through life will make them more confident, well-rounded, and capable grownups. In this episode, we discuss some of the CIA's tenets of training and how we can apply them to our everyday lives as parents.

Find LICENSE TO PARENT here in our Bookshop store!

Special thanks to this month's sponsors:

Happy Dance skin care products are made with premium ingredients, including the highest quality CBD. Get 15% off your first Happy Dance order by going to doahappydance.com/laughing.

Helixcustomized mattresses will give you the best sleep of your life! Get up to $200 off all mattress orders, plus two free pillows, at helixSleep.com/laughing.

Stitch Fix Kids is here to ease the stress of shopping for kids' clothes! Go to stitchfix.com/kids/laughing and get 25% off when you keep everything in your Fix.

Design like a pro with Canva Pro! We use it for all our images– we've upped our game and saved time too. Right now, you can get a FREE 45-day extended trial when you go to canva.me/fresh.

The Cozi Family Organizeris for anyone juggling camp schedules, practices, meetings, doctor’s appointments, and maybe a date night once in a while. Download Cozi for free from the app store!

Magic Spooncereal gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- and with 0 grams of sugar. Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH and use the codeFRESH at checkout to get $5 off!

Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing.

Bobby Wonder is a kids' podcast from GoKidGo that the whole family can enjoy. Bobby Wonder is a typical guy who just found out he's from another planet. If your kid also loves to laugh, save the world, and eat waffles, subscribe or follow "Bobby Wonder" wherever you're listening right now.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Best Mom Lies Ever Aug 25, 2021

Show notes

Some people say parents should never lie to their kids. We are not those people.

We asked our listeners to tell us all the lies that totally worked for their kids– or worked on them when they were kids. Whether it's the ice cream truck's jingle indicating they're fresh out, the goldfish who was "just sleeping," or the unfortunate catastrophic fire at the macaroni and cheese factory, these are all the mom fibs you want in your repertoire.

Special thanks to this month's sponsors:

Happy Dance skin care products are made with premium ingredients, including the highest quality CBD. Get 15% off your first Happy Dance order by going to doahappydance.com/laughing.

Helixcustomized mattresses will give you the best sleep of your life! Get up to $200 off all mattress orders, plus two free pillows, at helixSleep.com/laughing.

Stitch Fix Kids is here to ease the stress of shopping for kids' clothes! Go to stitchfix.com/kids/laughing and get 25% off when you keep everything in your Fix.

Design like a pro with Canva Pro! We use it for all our images– we've upped our game and saved time too. Right now, you can get a FREE 45-day extended trial when you go to canva.me/fresh.

The Cozi Family Organizeris for anyone juggling camp schedules, practices, meetings, doctor’s appointments, and maybe a date night once in a while. Download Cozi for free from the app store!

Magic Spooncereal gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- and with 0 grams of sugar. Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH and use the codeFRESH at checkout to get $5 off!

Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing.

Bobby Wonder is a kids' podcast from GoKidGo that the whole family can enjoy. Bobby Wonder is a typical guy who just found out he's from another planet. If your kid also loves to laugh, save the world, and eat waffles, subscribe or follow "Bobby Wonder" wherever you're listening right now.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ask Margaret - Handling Tough School Drop-Offs Aug 23, 2021

Show notes

When school drop-off is tough it can ruin the whole day. The feeling of walking away and leaving a sobbing kiddo at pre-school is just plain awful, but the reality is that most kids are happily playing 15 minutes later.

This week a listener asks:

Any tips for preschool drop off when kiddo gets shy/nervous and then refuses to go in? Our little one occasionally gave us a hard time at preschool drop offs pre-covid and with pre-k starting in a few weeks I want to have a whole tool box ready of things to try help those first few drop offs run smoothly.

There's no go-to solution for making drop-offs tear-free. This situation is more in the "observe and adapt" category because you have to see how it's going, what's wrong and which parts of it can be fixed.

The best thing to do about tough school drop-offs is to keep them in perspective. Remember that these events are not creating permanent emotional scars - rather they are phases where a child is working out their complicated feelings about separating from you.

Still there are some adjustments you can make to help make the morning drop off routine consistent:

make sure your child gets a good night sleep
get up early enough that the morning isn't chaotic and rushed (I know - it's hard - but it's worth it)
feed your child a good breakfast
create a consistent drop off routine

If you are doing all of these things and still struggling at drop-off, try working with your number one drop off ally - your child's teacher or daycare provider. Find out how long the tears are lasting after you leave (a teacher may be willing to text you to let you know when your kid is over their tears and enjoying their day) and strategize about how to make things run more smoothly (some kids may do well with a little extra time with mom or dad; some kids may need the "drop and dash" approach).

But most of all keep in mind that this too shall pass - your child is gaining important independence and you'll get through it too - we promise.

Margaret cites this article in this week's episode: Crying at Drop-Off

Special thanks to our "Question of the Week" sponsor:

Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Fresh Take: Annie Murphy Paul on The Extended Mind Aug 20, 2021

Show notes

“Use your head.” That’s what we tell ourselves when facing a tricky problem or a difficult project. But a growing body of research indicates that we’ve got it exactly backwards. What we need to do, says acclaimed science writer Annie Murphy Paul, is think outside the brain.

In this "Fresh Take" interview we discuss how we can use "extra-neural" resources like gestures, body movements, and the simple act of getting outside to help both ourselves and our kids focus and learn.

To find out more, check out anniemurphypaul.com

Twitter: @anniemurphypaul

Special thanks to this month's sponsors:

Design like a pro with Canva Pro! We use it for all our images– we've upped our game and saved time too. Right now, you can get a FREE 45-day extended trial when you go to canva.me/fresh.

The Cozi Family Organizeris for anyone juggling camp schedules, practices, meetings, doctor’s appointments, and maybe a date night once in a while. Download Cozi for free from the app store!

Italic is a new kind of everything store. They offer quality goods from the same manufacturers as leading brands for up to 80% less. Sign up for an Italic membership at italic.com/join and use code WHATFRESHHELL for 30% off.

Magic Spoon cereal gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- and with 0 grams of sugar. Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH and use the codeFRESH at checkout to get $5 off!

Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing.

Bobby Wonder is a kids' podcast from GoKidGo that the whole family can enjoy. Bobby Wonder is a typical guy who just found out he's from another planet. If your kid also loves to laugh, save the world, and eat waffles, subscribe or follow "Bobby Wonder" wherever you're listening right now.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Competition: How Much Is Good For Our Kids? Aug 18, 2021

Show notes

Does competition have benefits? What level of competition is healthy for our kids? Many of us agree that the stereotypical dad yelling through the fence at T-Ball is taking things a little too seriously. But others say that participation trophies teach our kids to be lazy and therefore represent the ultimate downfall of our civilization. How do we balance teaching the eye of the tiger with just letting our kids play?

In this episode we get to the bottom of why some people are more competitive than others, what the right age is for kids to start learning the lessons of losing, and how competition (when it's done right) can actually teach cooperation and self-regulation.

Here are links to some writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode:

Special thanks to this month's sponsors:

Happy Dance skin care products are made with premium ingredients, including the highest quality CBD. Get 15% off your first Happy Dance order by going to doahappydance.com/laughing.

Helixcustomized mattresses will give you the best sleep of your life! Get up to $200 off all mattress orders, plus two free pillows, at helixSleep.com/laughing.

Stitch Fix Kids is here to ease the stress of shopping for kids' clothes! Go to stitchfix.com/kids/laughing and get 25% off when you keep everything in your Fix.

Design like a pro with Canva Pro! We use it for all our images– we've upped our game and saved time too. Right now, you can get a FREE 45-day extended trial when you go to canva.me/fresh.

The Cozi Family Organizeris for anyone juggling camp schedules, practices, meetings, doctor’s appointments, and maybe a date night once in a while. Download Cozi for free from the app store!

Italic is a new kind of everything store. They offer quality goods from the same manufacturers as leading brands for up to 80% less. Sign up for an Italic membership at italic.com/join and use code WHATFRESHHELL for 30% off.

Magic Spoon cereal gets protein into your kids’ breakfast- and with 0 grams of sugar. Go to magicspoon.com/FRESH and use the codeFRESH at checkout to get $5 off!

Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing.

Bobby Wonder is a kids' podcast from GoKidGo that the whole family can enjoy. Bobby Wonder is a typical guy who just found out he's from another planet. If your kid also loves to laugh, save the world, and eat waffles, subscribe or follow "Bobby Wonder" wherever you're listening right now.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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