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What Fresh Hell: Parenting, Relationships, and Making Life Better, with Two Funny Moms

When you’re a parent, every day brings a “fresh hell” to deal with. In other words, there’s always something. Think of us as your funny mom friends who are here to remind you: you’re not alone, and it won’t always be this hard.
We’re Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables, both busy moms of three kids, but with completely different parenting styles. Margaret is a laid-back to the max; Amy never met a spreadsheet or an organizational system she didn’t like.
In each episode of “What Fresh Hell” we offer lots of laughs, but also practical advice, parenting strategies, and tips to empower you in your role as a mom. We explore self-help techniques, as well as ways to prioritize your own needs, combat stress, and despite the invisible workload we all deal with, find joy amidst the chaos of motherhood.
If you’ve ever wondered “why is my kid…” then one of us has probably been there, and we’re here to tell you what we’ve learned along the way.
We unpack the behaviors and developmental stages of toddlers, tweens, and teenagers, providing insights into their actions and equipping you with effective parenting strategies.
We offer our best parenting tips and skills we’ve learned. We debate the techniques and studies that are everywhere for parents these days, and get to the bottom of what works best to raise happy, healthy, fairly well-behaved kids, while fostering a positive parent-child relationship.
If you’re the default parent in your household, whether you’re a busy mom juggling multiple pickups and dropoffs, or a first-time parent seeking guidance, this podcast is your trusted resource. Join our community of supportive mom friends laughing in the face of motherhood!
whatfreshhellpodcast.com

Copyright: Copyright © 2016-2023 What Fresh Hell, LLC

Latest Episodes:

BEST OF: Ditching What Doesn't Matter (with the Lazy Genius) Aug 09, 2023

Show notes

Are people with clean houses doing a bit? Are people with messy ones somehow less worthy? Kendra Adachi, author of THE LAZY GENIUS WAY tells us how to make a just-good-enough system that works for exactly us - and stop caring about everything else.

Kendra Adachi also hosts "The Lazy Genius" podcast and is the mother of three young kids.

Kendra, Margaret, and Amy discuss:

How to implement systems that are practical rather than Pinterest-worthy
Why we should stop applauding chaos as the only indicator of vulnerability
The power of putting everything in its place

Here's where you can find Kendra:

www.thelazygeniuscollective.com
Buy The Lazy Genius Way: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780525653936
@thelazygenius on IG

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ask Margaret: My Child Is Being Ostracized Aug 07, 2023

Show notes

When our child is suddenly being left out of their friend group, how can we help them cope without giving in to our own emotions about the situation?

A member of our Facebook group writes:

"My 9-year-old finally made a new group of friends this year in school, and the other day at recess they announced that they don’t want to be her friend anymore.

She is crushed, and while I know this is part of growing up, I don’t know how to help her. I let her stay home today- to be honest, partly so she doesn’t have to endure a recess with this group of girls ignoring her or worse.

I know missing school is not the answer. How can I help her? "

Margaret reminds this listener that she's not on the emotional roller coaster with her kid in this situation - rather, she is a neutral and safe space for her child to express their feelings about the situation.

It's important to let your child feel whatever they need to about the situation without trying to "fix" them or suggesting how they might behave differently in order to gain entry back into the friend group. Remind them that they can only control how they react to the situation, and empower them to focus on other friendships, hobbies, and activities for the time being.

In the meantime, watch out for signs that your child is suffering from severe bullying, such as weight loss, loss of appetite, or loss of interest in normal activities - this could mean that they need a more robust form of intervention on their behalf.

Here are links to some resources Margaret mentions:

Sherri Gordon for VeryWell Family: 7 Tips for Helping Kids Deal With Being Ostracized
Our episode about bullies
Our episode "Mean Girls with Katie Hurley"

Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers:

For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Fresh Take: Lara Love Hardin Aug 04, 2023

Show notes

What happens when your perfect life comes crumbling down? Lara Love Hardin, author of the new memoir "The Many Lives of Mama Love" shares her experiences of addiction and incarceration, how it affected her children, and how it shaped the new life she has now.

Amy and Lara discuss:

What it's like to parent from prison
How the prison system keeps women down
How Lara found her own version of redemption

Here's where you can find Lara:

https://www.laralovehardin.com/
IG: @laralovehardin
Facebook: Lara Love Hardin
Buy Lara's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781982197667
The Gemma Project
Watch Lara's TED Talk

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We Forgot What Little Kids Were Like Aug 02, 2023

Show notes

Once your kids are a little bit older, can you be dropped into the madness of having little ones again without missing a beat? Apparently not - here's what Margaret learned after a brief season of tending to little kids again.

Amy and Margaret discuss:

The stakes of babysitting versus parenting
All the little things we block out once our kids are more independent
How times stretches out forever when you've got little kids to entertain all day

If you're near New Braunfels, Texas, check out the McKenna Children's Museum!

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ask Amy: I've Already Got the End-of-Summer Scaries Jul 31, 2023

Show notes

Why is it that summer never seems to be the picture-perfect, sun-washed experience we want for our kids? Amy helps a listener ditch her mom guilt over not providing her kids with the "perfect" summer.

"I have the end of summer scaries. Or end of summer mom guilt. I feel so bummed that I have spent most of the summer in survival mode instead of really enjoying it with my children. I probably have seen way too many of those "you only get 18 summers" posts. My oldest starts first grade in two weeks and I feel like I completely failed. I wish we had spent more time swimming, riding bikes, all of that quintessential summer stuff. Instead, I feel like I've spent most of it breaking up fights with his 4 year old brother, keeping the 18 month old from injuring himself, and saying "no" to every request.

I'm notoriously hard on myself so I probably just need a reality check. Does anyone else feel this way?"

It's totally normal to feel like the summer is a more difficult time of year, especially with three little kids to entertain, Amy explains. There are more hours of daylight and more unstructured time.

And, by the way, your kids don't vaporize once they turn 18, and if they're away at college, summer is when you WILL see them, at least somewhat more than you did during the school year. Try to decouple yourself from the overwhelming "you only get 18 summers with your kids" messaging. It robs you of the ability to remain present THIS summer with your kids.

So how do you try and be present with your kids without worrying about how many summers you have left in the bank? Start super small. Declare that it's "ice cream dinner" tonight or let the kids cover the driveway in chalk drawings. The "summer memories" we're supposed to be making are by definition lazy and unstructured. And those little things we may think are nothing special are probably what our kids will look back on most fondly.

Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers:

For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Fresh Take: Ash Brandin, The Gamer Educator Jul 28, 2023

Show notes

How can we place reasonable limits on our kids' screen time— and how do we know what's reasonable? Ash Brandin, better known on Instagram as @TheGamerEducator, brings their experience as an educator (and gamer) to help families better understand and manage technology in ways that can benefit the entire family.

In this episode, we discuss:

why screens are "value neutral," and why their educational merit is derived more from how screens are being used
the one question we should ask ourselves to know whether screens are okay in a given moment
how to raise kids who will be able to set their own parameters around screens and gaming once we're no longer there to harass them

Here's where you can find Ash:

TheGamerEducator.com
@TheGamerEducator on IG

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Teaching Kids About Money Jul 26, 2023

Show notes

Teaching kids about how money works feels ever more important in a world where we pay for things by waving our phones, and where a couple of taps brings us anything we want to our doorstep twenty-four hours later.

Sometimes we feel like protecting our kids from the realities of our financial situations is what is most appropriate. But somewhere along the way we can start teaching kids financial literacy by making our family decisions around money concrete and transparent.

In this episode we discuss:

our children's many "blind spots" around money and spending (and what were once our own)
the differences in spending when people use credit cards versus cash
how to discuss your family's "money values" in terms of what you are (and are not) willing to spend

Here are some links to resources mentioned in the episode:

@bethkobliner on Twitter
BusyKid: What Your Child Can Understand About Money, Age by Age
Beth Kobliner for PBS News Hour: Money habits are set by age 7. Teach your kids the value of a dollar now
Jana B. Woodhouse for How Money Works: Can You Teach Your Kids How Money Works? (Yes!)
Shereen Marisol Meraji and Andee Tagle for NPR's Life Kit: Want to teach your kids about money? Start by including them in the conversation
Johnathan G. Conzelmann and T. Austin Lacy for Brookings: Financial and student loan (il)literacy among US college students
Our episode "Should We Pay Our Kids To Clean Our Rooms?"
Our Fresh Take with Bobbi Rebell

Check us out on YouTube!

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ask Margaret: Ground Rules for House Guests Jul 24, 2023

Show notes

How do you host relatives in your home in a loving and generous way without becoming overwhelmed? Margaret explains that hosts, not guests, get to make the rules for timing and length of their visits.

A listener asked:

Do you have any ground rules or tips and tricks for having family come stay with you? My husband and I live interstate between both of our families of origin, so if they visit, they stay with us. We don't live in a large house and we're finding the line between hospitality and what we can handle hard to draw. How can we simplify our approach?

When people come to your house, it's perfectly acceptable to set ground rules that represent roughly 50% of what you need/want, and 50% of what your guests would prefer. Ultimately, though, it's your house, so you have veto power should a disagreement arise.

You have the right to decide when and how long people come to stay with you. You may get pushback from relatives, but you are within your rights to gently decline their requests. That being said, operate from your maximum place of generosity and do your best to accommodate the people who raised you/your spouse and want to be in their grandkids' lives.

Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers:

For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Fresh Take: Erin Pepler Jul 21, 2023

Show notes

Why are women expected to love pregnancy and new motherhood without exception or complaint? Erin Pepler, author of the collection of essays "Send Me Into the Woods Alone," discusses the stigma that still persists around mothers expressing difficulty and displeasure with their lives—and how reading and writing about motherhood has improved her own life.

Erin Pepleris a freelance writer whose work has appeared in Today’s Parent, ParentsCanada, SavvyMom, Romper, Scary Mommy, MoneySense, Broadview Magazine and more.

Erin and Amy discuss:

Why pregnancy is "objectively weird"
Why women are expected to downplay their pain and suffering particularly as new mothers
How anxiety can shape us as parents... and when it's time to take a closer look

Here's where you can find Erin:

erinpepler.com
@erinpepler on Instagram and Twitter
@erinpeplerwriter on Facebook
Buy SEND ME INTO THE WOODS ALONE: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781988784892

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Why Was This a Thing? Rules We Once Lived By Jul 19, 2023

Show notes

Rooms where no one was allowed to go? Saving up phone minutes? Opening one kind of cereal at a time? What odd rules did we once live by that we can't imagine following now?

Amy and Margaret discuss:

The Good Room
Snuggies
Peek Freans

Links to references in this episode:

The Onion: Bloodthirsty, Undead Ghoul Advocates Chocolate-Cereal Consumption
"Certain things are for company" - comedian Sebastian Maniscalco
"Company is Coming" - comedian Chris Fleming
Peek Freans
Follow us on Threads @whatfreshhellcast

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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