What Do You Mean By That?

Latest Episodes:

248: For All Womxn, The Rested Rebel with Kibi Anderson Jun 18, 2024

Show notes

This one goes out to all the busy women in our community.

Whether you're a Type-A, a Recovering Type-A, a paid working mom or a working mom in the home - we hear it over and over again: we women are feeling stretched super thin, exhausted, and overwhelmed.

Enter a radical mindset shift: the power of rest.

We're excited to bring you a conversation with Kibi Anderson, who drops brilliant reframing of what we think of as rest (it's not always what we've been led to believe) and other life advice that helped us breathe a little better.

What to listen for

Kibi's story to becoming the Rested Rebel!
What is rest? Anything that gives you joy, moving from me-care to we-care.
Other life advice including not to take things personally, and not to make assumptions - from The Four Agreements.
All about the multi-author book, Point Taken, that Kibi was part of, and why you should buy a friend a copy.

About Kibi

Kibi Anderson is an author, coach, keynote speaker, and Emmy Award-winning content producer. She is a graduate of Harvard College and NYU Stern Business School, and the founder of Life Editor, a firm providing communications and leadership coaching to C-Suite & Senior Leaders. She has helped drive millions of dollars in annual revenue, created international content campaigns, and offered counsel to global Fortune 100 and startup clients. She has traversed an illustrious career in international management consulting, film production, and technology entrepreneurship while also managing a chronic auto-immune condition. She believes and teaches that the key to ultimate professional success is not through working harder, but embracing the power in the pause.

247: A More Just Future, with Dolly Chugh Jun 04, 2024

Show notes

I don't know that there's a better book and conversation to kick off our summer author series with than this one.

We've said for a while now that there's a benefit to applying a psychological, human-based lens to the social justice learning we've been sharing on this show for the last five years.

This conversation shows us why we are spending our summer talking about that bridge, which over the course of the next few months will center discussions about wellbeing, about the power of the pause, practical optimism, meditation, and more.

Because in the midst of such a turbulent, divided time, don't you want to feel better?

With social psychologist Dolly Chugh, we'll get into some beautiful stories that let us all remember there are times we prioritize comfort over discomfort – but that not knowing facts creates its own sense of discomfort too. Why not join us in the learning and unlearning?

What to listen for

How unlearning is not just intellectual work, but emotional work too.
The on-the-spot example that gamers might really relate to
A brilliant takedown of nostalgia, which we all fall for, and the impact it can have
How to spot simplified fables (clear cause & effect, flawless heroes, good guys beating bad guys) to know when we need to be mindful when reflecting on history
Apologies

About Dolly

Dolly Chugh (she/her, hear my name) is an award-winning professor at the New York University Stern School of Business where she teaches MBA courses in leadership and management. Her research focuses on "bounded ethicality", which she describes as the "psychology of good people." She is the author of The Person You Mean to Be: How Good People Fight Bias (HarperCollins, 2018), A More Just Future (Simon & Schuster, 2022), and the popular Dear Good People newsletter. Dolly's TED Talk was named one of the 25 Most Popular TED Talks of 2018 and currently has more than 5 million views.

246: Why Trump Is Bad For [Y]OUR Wellbeing, Part II May 21, 2024

Show notes

This episode is a continuation of last week's episode, so if you haven't already listened to that one (it should be right above this one in your podcast feed), stop and go listen now, as it will make the most sense when listened to in order. This week we pick up where we left off, with the remaining four independent dimensions of well-being: spiritual, vocational, financial, and environmental. Let's just get right to it.

What to listen for?

In today's episode, we talk about the four remaining dimensions of wellness - spiritual, vocational, financial and environmental;
Trump's support of extreme Christian viewpoints and his own view of himself as "The Chosen One" go against Constitutional and foundational principles of separation of church and state;
Despite being the politician for "every man," Trump dislikes unions (and the feeling is mutual) because he's first and foremost his own supporter;
Trump's financial policies are aimed at making his own life (and those of the extremely wealthy) easier, whereas Biden's economic policies helped all of us;
Trump is actively working to remove America from climate accords that will negatively impact our world and future generations (plus he doesn't believe in climate change)
How we can get involved to protect our own, and everyone else's, wellbeing

Link to last week's episode HERE.

245: Why Trump Is Bad For [Y]OUR Well-being, Part I May 07, 2024

Show notes

In our last episode, we went through reasons - issue by issue (not all of them, but a lot of them) - about why our freedom and democracy are at risk if you vote for Trump and he gets elected for president again in 2024.

In brief, things like his stance on immigration and making America a white-supremacist-centered nation; Ukraine and what that says about his desire to pander to the influence of outside nations; his hatred of the press and what that indicates about his desire to turn America into an authoritarian state; abortion, and what this means for every woman, mother, and person capable of bearing a child, including the freedom of families overall. Notably, all through his own words because he's been telling us what he's going to do for years.

In today's episode, we're going inside (ourselves) to talk about wellness and thriving, and whether or not we value societies that make it possible for us to feel - and be - well. We'll do this through the lens of a possible second Trump presidency, because we firmly believe that a second Trump presidency is bad for our well-being - mine and yours, both mentally and physically - and bad for us all, as human beings.

What to listen for?

The eight dimensions of wellness/wellbeing (in today's episode, we talk about four of them - physical, intellectual, emotional, and social);
Trump's policies that impact our physical well-being, including ACA and access to abortions;
How Trump's disbelief in scientific fact and restrictions around schooling harm go directly against building intellectual well-being, especially for our future generations;
The emotional effects that we're already feeling from a possible second term for Trump; and
How a Trump presidency could result in increased social isolation and divisiveness for our communities.

In case you missed it, here's the link to our last episode on the risks to our freedom and democracy: https://www.dearwhitewomen.com/episodes/244-why-we-need-to-take-trump-at-his-word-dont-look-away

244: Why We Need to Take Trump At His Word (Don't Look Away) Apr 23, 2024

Show notes

You know that person you know - the one who exaggerates everything?

It's kind of like that story of the blameless "boy who cried wolf" who lives in fantasy land and never takes responsibility for anything - and this person seemingly has not only the best life anyone could ever imagine, with loads of money, tons of friends, amazing vacations, but also, nothing ever seems to go wrong? (Instagram is a drug, friends).

Now imagine that friend is running (again) for President of the United States.

And that friend is bringing that energy into the race in the most destructive, divisive way possible, in which he's only out for himself - which his statements prove every.single.day.

Those statements that you would roll your eyes at and dismiss? Now, you no longer can, because those statements tell you who he is, and exactly what he plans to do if he gets re-elected (spoiler alert: it's going to be hugely destructive to our lives as we know them, and most, if not all, of our freedoms that we take for granted.).

You guessed it - we're talking about Trump, and why we need to take him at his word. In other words, even though it's painful - don't look away.

He's giving us the blueprint of how a Trump presidency would be, and not only is it worse than last time, it will destroy our democracy and our freedom along with it.

What to listen for?

Why we think the risk of having Trump in a second term is FAR more dangerous than having Biden.
Looking specifically at the harms that will befall our country because of things like his views on:

Immigration and making America a white-supremacist-centered nation,
Ukraine and what that says about his desire to pander to the influence of outside nations,
His hatred of the press and what that indicates about his desire to turn America into an authoritarian state,
Violence, and how a deeper threat of control and violence will eventually impact every American citizen
Abortion, and what this means for every woman, mother, and person capable of bearing a child, including families overall.

Do not look away from the massive threat Trump poses for our country.

Link to Trump's Authoritarian Playbook 2025: https://www.authoritarianplaybook2025.org/

Resources:

To give us input on what you want from our newsletter, and/or share your Asian immigration stories, reach us via email at hello@dearwhitewomen.com.

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243: High Five, Friends - Where We've Been and Where We're Going Apr 09, 2024

Show notes

This week marks the FIVE-YEAR anniversary of the Dear White Women podcast! That means we've outlasted almost all the other podcasts out there… like ya knew we would.

From those first few episodes released altogether on April 15, 2019, to now… it's been quite the ride. This year, in order to kick off year SIX (!!!) of the podcast, we thought we'd devote an entire shorter episode to talking about not only the past five years but what we have in store for the future and that shot of hope for all of us.

What to listen for:

How the podcast has evolved since its start in April 2019, including its history
The stand-out episode from this past year
Our personal whys behind doing this for the past five years and how that may have shifted over time
Where we think the Dear White Women platform goes from here

About Sara & Misasha:

A graduate of Harvard College and Columbia Law School, Misasha Suzuki Graham (she/her) has been a practicing litigator for over 15 years, and is passionate about diversity, equity, and inclusion in the legal profession as well as in her communities. She is a facilitator, writer, and speaker regarding issues of racial justice, especially regarding children, the

co-author of Dear White Women: Let's Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism, and the co-host of Dear White Women, a social justice podcast. Misasha, who is biracial (Japanese and white), is married to a Black man and is the proud mom of two very active multiracial young boys. They live in the Bay Area of California with their largely indifferent cat.

Sara Blanchard (she/her) helps build community and connection through conscious conversations, which she does as a facilitator, TEDx speaker, writer, and consultant. After graduating from Harvard and working at Goldman Sachs, Sara pursued the science and techniques of well-being and is a certified life coach, author of two books (Flex Mom and DearWhite Women: Let's Get (Un)Comfortable Talking About Racism), and co-host of Dear White Women, an award-winning weekly social justice podcast. Sara is biracial (Japanese and white), married to a white Canadian man, and is raising their two white-presenting girls to be compassionate, thoughtful advocates. They live in Denver, Colorado with their incredibly lovable dog.

To give us input on what you want from our newsletter, and/or share your Asian immigration stories, reach us via email at hello@dearwhitewomen.com.

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Like what you hear? Don't miss another episode and subscribe!

Catch up on more commentary between episodes by following us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter – and even more opinions and resources if you join our email list.

242: How to Have Compassionate Dialogue, with Dr. Nancy Dome Mar 26, 2024

Show notes

If you know us, you may know that we LOVE a good conversation - even if it's uncomfortable or difficult. But this year, as we head into what seems to be ONLY conversations that are uncomfortable or difficult, how do we best do that? If the idea of even talking to someone now gives you pause, then this is the episode for you.

The connection quality of part of our conversation is a little iffy in places, but it's worth listening to every moment of this episode. Our guest today (a repeat guest at that!) talks us through the journey of compassionate dialogue, including practical tips on how to practice this in your next conversation, and how to do the inner work necessary to make this the default, rather than the exception, to your conversations in 2024 and beyond.

What to listen for:

The compassionate dialogue structure includes the need to recognize, interrupt, and repair – and sometimes, we're finding that recognizing our own emotions is the most challenging part!
The good/bad binary, and how it's entirely unhelpful
A powerful example of how to have difficult conversations around politics

About Dr Dome:

Renowned speaker, author, and equity consultant Dr. Nancy Dome co-founded Epoch Education in 2014 to provide leaders in education and business with accessible professional development in diversity, inclusion and belonging, and equity. As an educator for nearly three decades, Dr. Dome taught in the juvenile court and community schools teaching our most vulnerable students, and has served as a Distinguished Teacher in Residence and faculty member at California State University San Marcos. Her transformative approach helps school districts and educational agencies throughout the country navigate complex topics, build bridges, and work together for inclusive, impactful change. She is the author of Let's Talk About Race and Other Hard Things: A Framework for Having Conversations That Build Bridges, Strengthen Relationships, and Set Clear Boundaries and The Compassionate Dialogue Journey: A Workbook for Growth and Self-Discovery. For more information, visit www.epocheducation.com.

To hear Dr. Dome's previous episode on Dear White Women, listen to Episode 164: https://www.dearwhitewomen.com/episodes/164-how-we-talk-about-race-and-other-hard-things

Resources:

To give us input on what you want from our newsletter, and/or share your Asian immigration stories, reach us via email at hello@dearwhitewomen.com.

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Like what you hear? Don't miss another episode and subscribe!

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241: Why Should We Care About "Being Political"? Mar 12, 2024

Show notes

"Oh, that's so political."

"We don't talk about politics here."

"Stop being so political."

Have you heard that before, when someone brings up a topic that may have been mentioned in the news (or on social media)? Maybe you've even been the one that said it. But - have you ever heard it explained what exactly "political" means in this context? Or why shouldn't we talk about it?

We'd argue that there is no such thing as "political". Or, conversely, perhaps EVERYTHING is political depending on who you are and how things affect you.

But regardless of why people feel things are too "political," this is EXACTLY the year where we need to be doubling down on talking about all of those things, especially if you care about freedom - your own, in particular.

Even if you disagree with us, please listen in - maybe we'll provide some food for thought. Or maybe our viewpoints are not so far apart after all.

What to listen for:

What people are really saying when they say, "stop being so political."
Our freedom - military service, bodily autonomy, environment, and more - is at stake if we don't get over our discomfort and start talking about the things that *really* matter.
The story of Little Johnny returns, to describe the parallel scenario of what's happening with Trump and Putin.

To give us input on what you want from our newsletter, and/or share your Asian immigration stories, reach us via email at hello@dearwhitewomen.com.

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240: Why Should We Care About Baseball? (Hint: It's About Civil Rights And Humanity) Feb 27, 2024

Show notes

If you're listening to this episode around the time when it's being released, then you'll be listening to this right on the last day of Black History Month in the United States. It should go without saying that Black History is American History, but we're going to say it anyway, and we'll add that it shouldn't be confined just to the shortest month of the year but instead should be taught to our kids every day of the year, and should be talked about by us as grownups by an equal amount.

This year, given where we are politically and nationally, we wanted to recognize another key day in February - February 19th. That's the day when President Roosevelt signed Executive Order 9066, which forced 120,000 Japanese Americans (American citizens) to leave their homes and be relocated to concentration camps ON AMERICAN SOIL. They lost everything - their homes, their possessions, their businesses - but despite all of that, they fought to hold onto their dignity and as much of "normal life" as possible. Part of that normal life, for so many Japanese Americans, was the ultra-American pastime of baseball.

That's exactly why we're bringing you this episode today - an updated episode from last year where we talk about baseball, the Negro Leagues, and the history behind America's favorite pastime - baseball - that you might not know, and probably weren't taught in schools.

What to listen for:

The story of how baseball bridged a racial divide during WWII between white and Japanese children.
The separate (and decidedly not equal) conditions under which Black and white ballplayers had to play
Names of some Black superstar baseball players who – if/when integrated into the Hall of Fame – would be as good or better than some of the MLB athletes we celebrate today
How to talk with your kids, from kindergarten through high school, about this specific period of baseball in American history

Resources:

Episode 50, Why Aren't Black Kids Playing Baseball?

Visit the Negro Leagues Baseball Museum

Society for AMerican Baseball Research – statistics

We Are The Ship: The Story of Negro League Baseball

A Negro League Scrapbook

Mamie On The Mound

Who Were The Negro Leagues?

Undeniable: Negro League Women

Undeniable: International Impact

Undeniable: Jackie and Monte

To give us input on what you want from our newsletter, and/or share your Asian immigration stories, reach us via email at hello@dearwhitewomen.com.

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239: Why Should We Care About Presidential Immunity? Feb 13, 2024

Show notes

In honor of Presidents' Day coming up next week, we thought we'd focus on president…ial immunity. See what we did there?

With this episode, we're kicking off a new "why should we care about…" series on DWW where we focus on the WHY behind important issues, so that we go into November making the most informed decisions we can about the candidates AND their platforms. We're keeping these relevant, funny, and light - but also impactful in how to understand why we need to care about these issues.

So whether you (a) think you know everything you need to know about presidential immunity or (b) you don't care or (c) who cares anyway because this is about Trump and he's going to be the nominee anyway so what I think doesn't even matter… or option (d), something else - this episode is a must listen. And then please share it with your friends.

What to listen for:

The accessible parallel through our fictional fourth grader, Johnny, to show you how presidential immunity might work.
The significance of the Fourteenth Amendment, and why it was written – the story of John B. Floyd, slave owner from Virginia who happened to be President James Buchanan's secretary of war.
Truth bombs like: "If we have a president who is exempt from prosecution for crimes committed in office, then we have a dictator. We no longer have a president. So if you care about democracy, you need to care about presidential immunity."

To give us input on what you want from our newsletter, and/or share your Asian immigration stories, reach us via email at hello@dearwhitewomen.com.

Follow Dear White Women so you don't miss these conversations!

Like what you hear? Don't miss another episode and subscribe!

Catch up on more commentary between episodes by following us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter – and even more opinions and resources if you join our email list.

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