What Do You Mean By That?

Latest Episodes:

128: Love as a Business Strategy, with Softway Aug 18, 2021

Show notes

If you're listening to this episode at the time that it's being released, and you're thinking about work, you're probably thinking about returning to a physical office in this new land of the Delta variant, or perhaps you're looking for a job, or you're figuring out how to get a new job because you're done with the one that you have. Or maybe you don't want to talk or think about work at all. But the reality is - we all understand work dynamics and most of us cannot escape the reality that we do need to belong to a group that provides us with money to make a living.

So here's our question: what happens when you make a mistake at work?

What if we told you that there's another way to do business - one that focuses on love?

We were convinced that this might work after we spoke with our guests today - and read their book. Mohammed Anwar and Jeff Ma are executives at Softway, a company whose mission is to bring humanity back to the workplace. In their book, Love as a Business Strategy, they break down how this is possible. After you've heard what they have to say, here's what we'd like you to do: tell all your friends to listen (you knew that was coming!). Then buy their book from their website, and download the free resources too. Read it, and share it with your teams - both at work, and in other spheres. And then let us know what most resonated with you by emailing us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com.

Let's put humanity first at work and see where that gets us.

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com

What to listen for:

The major dysfunction in Softway's company culture that led them to make a shift
The biggest resistance to the idea of love in the workplace
What it takes for leadership to lead a massive shift in workplace culture
How using love as a business strategy affected their relationships outside the workplace

About our guests:

Jeff Ma

Jeff spent the first decade of his career working in the video game industry, from game testing to project management. He continues to bring his love for games into everything he does, from playing with his kids to training and coaching leaders.

Jeff has a burning passion for board games, magic tricks, Agile, and growth mindsets. He was born and raised in Texas, where he and his beautiful wife, Maggie, dote heavily on their wonderful children, Cody and Penelope.

Mohammad Anwar

Mohammad is the youngest of five children and was born and raised in Saudi Arabia by Indian parents from Bengaluru. He graduated from the University of Houston (Go Coogs) with a BS in Computer Science and started Softway at twenty, where he still serves as the President and CEO.

Mohammad lives in Sugar Land, Texas, with his amazing wife Yulia, a Russian diver and five-time Olympic medalist, and his beautiful children, Sufia and Moshin. In his spare time, he enjoys fitness, watching college sports, and butchering American idioms.

Where to pre-order Dear White Women: Let's Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism: https://thecollectivebook.studio/dear-white-women

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Catch up on more commentary between episodes by following us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter – and even more opinions and resources if you join our email list.

127: Your Donations Matter. WHERE You Donate Matters, Too. - with Sable Schultz Aug 11, 2021

Show notes

After last week's episode with Christine Platt (aka the Afrominimalist), this scenario may sound familiar: You look around your house. It's full of stuff - stuff that you don't wear, stuff that you don't use, stuff that you don't need. You gather everything up in bags and boxes and, once the Donate pile is big enough, you move it to the garage or outside, ready for the next step. But then you pause. What IS the next step? Where do you take what you don't need anymore, that can provide the most help for people who really do need these things?

We sat down with Sable Schultz, the Director of Transgender Services at the Center on Colfax in Denver, Colorado, to talk about a very different - and important - way in which your donations can make not only an impact, but really show someone that they matter.

After you tell all your friends about this episode, look up the organizations that Sable mentions. Do the Google search for your own city. Think twice about where your donations go, because sometimes, even if it's not the easiest option, it's the most impactful. And remember that small things, like adding your pronouns to your email or asking someone for theirs, can make all the difference.

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com

What to listen for:

Small things you can do to make a difference, including ways you can choose to direct your clothing donations
Gender identity vs gender expression
What it means to transgender individuals to have clothing that matches their identity

About Sable: Sable Schultz (she/her/hers) is the Director of Transgender Services at The Center on Colfax, where her work includes inclusivity and awareness trainings, providing resources support services for the trans community in the Denver metro area, and programming to assist in developing community awareness and engagement. Sable is a queer, poly, trans woman; social justice warrior; and witch and has been engaged in inclusivity and advocacy work for over 15 years. She has worked with the Mental Health Center of Denver, University of Denver's Center for Multicultural Excellence, the Movement Advancement Project, and the LGBTQ Student Resource Center on Auraria campus. Sable enjoys computer, console, and tabletop gaming and is active in the Leather and pagan communities.

About The Center on Colfax: The Center on Colfax opened in 1976 and over the years has grown to become the largest community center in the Rocky Mountain region, giving voice to Colorado's LGBT community and playing a pivotal role in statewide initiatives to reduce harassment and discrimination. Today the Center is focused on fulfilling its mission – to engage, empower, enrich and advance the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community of Colorado – by ensuring that every member of the LGBT community has access to the programs and resources they need to live happy, healthy, and productive lives.

Where to pre-order Dear White Women: Let's Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism: https://thecollectivebook.studio/dear-white-women

Like what you hear? Don't miss another episode and subscribe!

Catch up on more commentary between episodes by following us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter – and even more opinions and resources if you join our email list.

126: Minimalism Is Liberation, with the Afrominimalist Aug 04, 2021

Show notes

When you think about liberation, what comes to mind: Intentional action? Physical protests? Thoughtful contemplation? One thing we didn't really think about was minimalism as a form of liberation. We didn't see the connection then between liberation and simplifying until after we spoke with our guest, and read her book. Now we believe: less can be liberation.

Today we interview Christine Platt, who is also known as the Afrominimalist. And in preparation, ask yourself: what is a minimalist space? Once you've got that vision, the next question is: whose aesthetic is this? After you listen to this episode, we challenge you to tell five people about this episode - and then start examining how minimalism can be liberation in YOUR life and other ways to view minimalism that aren't part of the mainstream narrative. And then go and buy her book, The Afrominimalist.

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com

What to listen for:

Why minimalism is so difficult to begin to embrace in the first place
What Afrominimalism does that makes it stand out from decluttering and following the Instagram vision of minimalism and Marie Kondo-ing your spaces
How your energy shifts once as you transition to your own aesthetic, and how YOU can get started making changes in your own life right now

About Christine:

Christine Platt is a modern-day Renaissance woman. From serving as an advocate for policy reform to using the power of storytelling as a tool for social change, Christine's work reflects her practice of living with intention. She holds a BA in Africana Studies, an MA in African-American Studies, and a JD in General Law. Christine has written over two dozen literary works for people of all ages. When she's not writing, Christine spends her time curating The Afrominimalist—a creative platform chronicling her journey to minimalism. Visit her online at TheAfrominimalist or on Instagram @afrominimalist.

Where to pre-order Dear White Women: Let's Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism: https://thecollectivebook.studio/dear-white-women

Like what you hear? Don't miss another episode and subscribe!

Catch up on more commentary between episodes by following us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter – and even more opinions and resources if you join our email list.

125: It's Time to NOT Watch the Olympics Jul 28, 2021

Show notes

After what seemed like five years rolled into one in 2020, it's hard to believe that we are now approximately halfway through 2021. We hope that our earlier summer episodes have given you all some ways to practically and intentionally think differently about small, yet impactful, decisions that we make as part of our everyday lives.

But as we think of summer, we also think about the Summer Olympics. In general, we love everything about them - the athletics, the camaraderie, the national pride, the international nature. Really, we love it all.

But what we don't love about the Olympics this year (besides holding it during a global pandemic) is how Black athletes, and in particular, Black female athletes, have been treated even prior to a single Olympic event happening (and, at the time that we recorded this, it's still unsure how and if events will happen as planned). We're breaking down that disparate treatment in today's episode, along with our thoughts about how best to show your support (the title is probably a spoiler alert there).

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com

What to listen for:

The stories of Sha'Carri Richardson, Christine Mboma and Beatrice Masilingi of Namibia, the Soul Cap, and other stories from this year's Olympics that make it clear that Black athletes are being treated differently
How the Olympics isn't really about humanity and celebration of achievement, but about chasing dollars (or whatever currency you use!).
Our view of what you can do to make change: consider not watching the Olympics this year.

Where to pre-order Dear White Women: Let's Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism: https://thecollectivebook.studio/dear-white-women

Like what you hear? Don't miss another episode and subscribe!

Catch up on more commentary between episodes by following us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter – and even more opinions and resources if you join our email list.

124: We Can Do Hard Things, with The Opt-In (Part II) Jul 21, 2021

Show notes

As we're still in our summer of action, we had a conversation lately behind the scenes to ask ourselves: are these episodes actionable enough? And we really believe that to make all of this work sustainable, sometimes it has to be in the little things. It has to be in which link you send to your friend about a book you're recommending - Amazon or Bookshop? - and it has to be in looking deep within yourself and looking around to build a more diverse community. But sometimes it's also about doing work - social activism, DEI work in your organizations, and the groups you're a part of.

We're back with Part 2 of our fabulous conversation with Kelly and Aurora of The Opt-In to look at all different forms of activism, ways to think about where we've collectively been and where we are in this realm, and suggestions for courses and people to look at. And fundamentally the message is: we can do hard things. This isn't even one of the hardest things we'll do in our lives, but it may be what has the most lasting impact - not only for ourselves but for our kids. Remember: it's seemingly little things and little choices that make lasting, much larger changes in our communities and our world.

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com

What to listen for:

How The Opt-In thinks about social activism, in both corporate and social spheres
Why and how women have been doing tough things all along, and how women have the innate ability to do hard things
Small ways in which we can shift our mindset and our actions to lead to bigger change
Organizations and people Kelly and Aurora suggest we look at to do this work

About Aurora:

Aurora Archer, an Afro-Latina, hustled up the corporate ladder to the executive suite, and yet still experienced the same implicit bias, microaggressions, and overt racism as her parents, who spent their lives working as domestic help while raising Aurora in Texas. After 25 years of marketing awards and promotions, Aurora realized there had to be a better way to use her talents without sacrificing her true self and health. She wisely identified the white supremacist cultural conditioning at the center of the problem, and Aurora set her sights on transforming our culture, from the inside out, one tough conversation at a time. In 2018, Aurora partnered with her white best friend Kelly Croce Sorg to form The Opt-In, and continued the journey of intentionally supporting Kelly and their white podcast listeners, learning community, corporate clients and others to learn with accountability the racial literacy, stamina, and introspective skills they need to help dismantle white supremacy within themselves and all aspects of their lives.

About Kelly:

Kelly Croce Sorg, an expert in white womanhood, grew up über-privileged as the daughter of an NBA team owner. Her father lived the rags-to-riches story of the white American Dream, and her mom, a homemaker, raised the kids while her dad focused on numerous entrepreneurial ventures. After college, Kelly's adult life looked a lot like those of her white friends and family. Ask most white women her age, and they would tell you Kelly had it all yet she constantly sought self-improvement. It wasn't until her bestie, Aurora Archer, gifted Kelly the book White Fragility she realized she wasn't as "woke" as she thought she was, and after numerous heart-to-hearts with Aurora, Kelly opted into examining her white identity as a way to claim her own humanity. She is now co-founder of The Opt-In, where she continues to learn while engaging in the uncomfortable, but necessary, conversations about race with her co-host Aurora, in what she calls a love letter to her white friends and family, advocating that they can all do better, herself included.

Like what you hear? Don't miss another episode and subscribe!

Catch up on more commentary between episodes by following us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter – and even more opinions and resources if you join our email list.

123: Cross-Racial Friendships with The Opt-In (Part I) Jul 14, 2021

Show notes

We're continuing our summer of action and diving deeper. And as we're releasing this episode, we're also in the midst of a summer that's been filled with more friends and family and conversation and ability to BE TOGETHER in a way that we haven't been able to be since March of 2020. #vaccines

It makes us think of friendship, community, and how much we learn from each other - not only through our similarities, which is how we often create friendships, but also our differences, which can be particularly true when we think about cross-racial friendships and communities.

Today we're excited to have Kelly and Aurora from The Opt-In, two of our very favorites, to discuss community, cross-racial friendships, and so much more. What we love about these women is that they are real - real about the good parts of their friendships and identities, and also the tough parts. And because we loved them so much, we split our conversation with them into two parts. Part I is this episode. Part II - well, you'll have to stay tuned. But it centers around what we can all do in terms of social activism and moving the needle - and spoiler alert, it starts from within.

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com

What to listen for:

Who Kelly and Aurora are, and what community means to each of them
How community can be hard to find for White people, and some of the ways in which that physically appears
How we can create more inclusive communities for ourselves and our families
The true strengths - and challenges - of cross-racial friendships

About Aurora:

Aurora Archer, an Afro-Latina, hustled up the corporate ladder to the executive suite, and yet still experienced the same implicit bias, microaggressions, and overt racism as her parents, who spent their lives working as domestic help while raising Aurora in Texas. After 25 years of marketing awards and promotions, Aurora realized there had to be a better way to use her talents without sacrificing her true self and health. She wisely identified the white supremacist cultural conditioning at the center of the problem, and Aurora set her sights on transforming our culture, from the inside out, one tough conversation at a time. In 2018, Aurora partnered with her white best friend Kelly Croce Sorg to form The Opt-In and continued the journey of intentionally supporting Kelly and their white podcast listeners, learning community, corporate clients, and others to learn with accountability the racial literacy, stamina, and introspective skills they need to help dismantle white supremacy within themselves and all aspects of their lives.

About Kelly:

Kelly Croce Sorg, an expert in white womanhood, grew up über-privileged as the daughter of an NBA team owner. Her father lived the rags-to-riches story of the white American Dream, and her mom, a homemaker, raised the kids while her dad focused on numerous entrepreneurial ventures. After college, Kelly's adult life looked a lot like those of her white friends and family. Ask most white women her age, and they would tell you Kelly had it all yet she constantly sought self-improvement. It wasn't until her bestie, Aurora Archer, gifted Kelly the book White Fragility she realized she wasn't as "woke" as she thought she was, and after numerous heart-to-hearts with Aurora, Kelly opted in to examining her white identity as a way to claim her own humanity. She is now co-founder of The Opt-In, where she continues to learn while engaging in the uncomfortable, but necessary, conversations about race with her co-host Aurora, in what she calls a love letter to her white friends and family, advocating that they can all do better, herself included.

Like what you hear? Don't miss another episode and subscribe!

Catch up on more commentary between episodes by following us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter – and even more opinions and resources if you join our email list.

122: Being Brave+Kind With Bunnie Hilliard Jul 07, 2021

Show notes

If you've been listening to our episodes in order, you know we've been focused on the role of community, as well as small business in community - and how we can show up for one another when we support the amazing people who run these.

Today we have Bunnie Hilliard, the owner of an Atlanta-based bookstore called Brave+Kind, on the podcast. She talks about her move from corporate America to opening Brave+Kind, the intentionality that comes into all of her decisions about the physical space of her store as well as how that showed up online during the pandemic, and what she'd like us all to know not only about children's books but how we can take those conversations into our own homes, and have our buying patterns reflect what we truly believe in.

Our ask for you after you listen: Take those books out of your Amazon cart and find them in an independent bookstore - online, or in your community. Tell all your friends to do the same thing. And if you're looking for recommendations - shoot us an email at hello at dearwhitewomen dot com. We've got you.

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com

What to listen for:

What got Bunnie from corporate American to a small business owner with Brave + Kind Bookshop
The role of community in supporting her store, and her own intentionality behind how people can see themselves in Brave+Kind
Some of her must-read books (some of which are new to us as well!)
Her thoughts about Amazon vs. buying from small businesses

About Bunnie:

In her own words, Bunnie Hilliard is a mother, wife, serial entrepreneur, former podcaster, and a believer. She is the owner of Brave+Kind Books, which is a thoughtfully curated little neighborhood kids bookshop with a unique selection of inclusive, classic, artful stories, story clubs, and special gifts in Decatur, Georgia.

Like what you hear? Don't miss another episode and subscribe!

Catch up on more commentary between episodes by following us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter – and even more opinions and resources if you join our email list.

121: Coffee and Community with Nirvana Soul Jun 30, 2021

Show notes

Let's face it: we are an app-based, "easy button" based, instant gratification kind of society. One click of a button and we get something brought to our house: food, alcohol, flowers - basically anything you can ask for. If it's not instant, you can get it for free shipping and in two days if you're an Amazon Prime member. But, as we've often asked on this podcast, what is the true cost of your purchases when you're getting them through these apps, and not through your community and local store owners?

Today we talk to one of those businesses - and the women behind it. Nirvana Soul isn't only about providing amazing coffee to the people of San Jose, California - it's about creating community through shared spaces, carefully curated art, and so much more. Be'Anka and Jeronica opened their doors during a pandemic, but in so doing they brought community to their own community - and that's priceless. Our ask for you after you listen: go find one of these spaces in your own community, go support them (and for real - not in a performative way), and then tell all your friends to do the same. We rise by lifting others, and we need each other right now more than ever.

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com

What to listen for:

The journey and process behind opening Nirvana Soul, including the importance of the name
What the role of coffee shops is in communities (hint: it's not just about coffee)
What Jeronica and Be'Anka want to share with White women about Nirvana Soul, and supporting local Black-owned businesses
The intentionality that they bring into creating community for their staff, and where they see Nirvana Soul going in five and ten years into the future

About Be'Anka and Jeronica:

Jeronica has been in the coffee game for nearly two decades as a barista, manager, and consultant. She knows her sh*t. And Be'Anka is not just a marketer. She's a methodical, systematic, demand generation marketer who knows a thing or two about successful retail. Their combined experience of coffee and marketing operations is just as much a unique value as their sisterhood itself. Together, they are Nirvana Soul. Using the power of coffee and tea to bring people together.

Where to pre-order Dear White Women: Let's Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism: https://thecollectivebook.studio/dear-white-women

Support us through Patreon! Learn about our virtual community – and you're welcome to join.

Like what you hear? Don't miss another episode and subscribe!

Catch up on more commentary between episodes by following us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter – and even more opinions and resources if you join our email list.

120: A Radical Awakening, with Dr. Shefali Jun 23, 2021

Show notes

Every once in a while, we both read a book that makes us immediately text the other to say: have you read this? Isn't it amazing? That's what happened when we read A Radical Awakening.

We were blown away by the revolutionary way of thinking and being that is suggested for women in this book, and were so deeply grateful to find that Dr. Shefali's energy and authenticity match her reputation.

There's little else left for us to say, other than this is a can't-miss episode, and that you should go to Bookshop to order this book immediately.

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com

What to listen for:

How women have been taught to be self-sacrificial, and are afraid to speak up for themselves and each other
What the process of Radical Awakening entails, and how that shows up differently for people of different skin tones
When Dr. Shefali calls Sara out for believing that the "we" culture is on equal footing with the "me" culture in the United States - when in reality, it's the minority
How doing the inner work translates into women supporting the greater good

About Dr. Shefali:

Dr. Shefali received her doctorate in clinical psychology from Columbia University. Specializing in the integration of Western psychology and Eastern philosophy, she brings together the best of both worlds for her clients. She is an expert in family dynamics and personal development, teaching courses around the globe. Dr. Shefali has written four books, including the award-winning, New York Times bestsellers The Conscious Parent and The Awakened Family. She's been featured prominently on Oprah Winfrey's platforms, Good Morning America, the Today Show, Hoda & Jenna, among many others. Dr. Shefali lives in New York City. More at: www.aradicalawakening.com

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119: Moms, How Whyte Are Your Circles? With Larisa Courtien Jun 16, 2021

Show notes

Mamas, here's a real question for you: How Whyte are your spaces?

We write that word that way because the censors seem to be limiting our ability to write it as w-h-i-t-e without being hurt by the algorithms.

But really, when we talk about a summer of action, we mean starting within your very own spheres of influence. And as moms, we have a lot of influence. So let's start by looking at our own circles!

Have questions, comments, or concerns? Email us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com

What to listen for:

What Larisa's experiences of being a woman of color in mothering circles have been like
How Heymama, a fantastic international network of moms, has made a point to embrace inclusivity - and what they've done to make these changes
Advice for mom communities on what to think about when you're considering being more inclusive

About Larisa and HeyMama:

Larisa Courtien is the Senior Director of Partnerships and Experiences at Heymama, a private, inclusive community for working moms who are building their careers and families. #HeyMama

Like what you hear? Don't miss another episode and subscribe!

Catch up on more commentary between episodes by following us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter – and even more opinions and resources if you join our email list.

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