Therapist Uncensored Podcast

Latest Episodes:

TU72: Attachment Parenting Vs. Attachment Science – Clearing up Misconceptions Aug 04, 2018

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Finding the middle ground between constantly attending to your child versus letting them learn to self-soothe is a challenge that all parents must face. In this episode, Therapist Uncensored hosts, Dr. Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP, break down the difference between “Attachment Parenting” and the science of actual Attachment theory. They share key elements from research outcomes that surround many common misconceptions of applying the theory itself. You’ll learn that the ideals setup by Dr.William and Martha Sears and Richard Ferber might not fully translate in today’s world of parenting and that the way you respond to your child’s needs is a determining factor in how secure they will be later in life. Thank you to our sponsor! Episode brought to you in part by Theranest, they help keep us on the air and being able to offset the costs of producing this show. Please visit their website and check out their services, you have nothing to lose and produUtivity to gain! We’ve arranged a deal to get 20%off your first 3 months to give you a chance to try it out. We know you don’t want to spend your time billing, you want to spend your time across from people you care about – clients, friends, family, your pets, whomever. But not the computer. Let them help you.U 0:00-10:00 Introduction Attachment Parenting is mostly associated with Sears & Sears Modern research shows that providing children love, kindness and responsiveness results in a more well adjusted person Attachment Theory: how a child learns that their primary caregiver can safely respond to them when they’re distressed Attachment parenting by Sears and Sears asserts the importance of the three B’s: Breastfeeding, Baby Wearing, and Baby Sleeping Attachment is a two-way process between parent and child 10:00-20:00 The three essentials for developing secure functioning Children use their caregiver to regulate their body until they can do it on their own Filling children up for exploration and being available for refueling rather than keeping children attached to you continuously Responsiveness doesn’t have to be so strict and can be attuned to your family’s needs Attunement builds secure attachment Children are resilient and will bounce back so don’t feel you have to follow all the rules, make it work for the parent-child dyad. Focus on attunement rather than strict adherence to a technique. 20:00-30:00 Babies sleeping through the night is not necessarily a sign of secure attachment Sleep training and Ferberizing is not necessarily allowing babies to “cry it out” but is a way of training them to sleep on their own. Research indicates that babies should not be sleep trained prior to 6 months of age Learning what your child’s cries mean helps you become attuned to them Putting children to bed prior to falling asleep allows them to learn to sleep on their own 30:00-40:00 Studies have shown that parent and child’s cortisol levels are both elevated at the start of sleep training but, over time the caregiver’s goes down as the child expresses less distress yet the babies often stay elevated. No shame parenting allows parents to respond to their children in a way that helps them grow Children need to learn to get distressed and cry and to be soothed be loving caregivers “Prepare the child for the path and not the path for the child” Wrap up and outro Resources The Attachment Parenting Book : A Commonsense Guide to U...

TU71: Speakably Sexy – Communicating to Make Sex Hotter and Relationships More Alive Jul 24, 2018

Show notes

What makes the ins and outs of sexuality so hard to talk aboout? It turns out, if couples do talk about sex, the conversation is often mostly about frequency. However, what is missing are the zillion of other thoughts and feelings we have about intimacy (or lack there of), desire (or lack thereof), fantasies (or lack thereof), pleasure (or lack therefo) and, oh yeah, the mechanics of sex as well. But don’t sweat it, in this episode Therapist Uncensored co-host Dr. Ann Kelley joins guest Dr. Susan Ansorge to talk about talking about sex. Learn to overcome the difficulties of opening up to yourself and your sexual partner about these very personal and understandably anxiety-filled conversations. Dr. Susan Ansorge is a practicing psychologist in Austin, TX. Her interest, training and experience in working with sexual issues began during her tenure as a staff psychologist at the UT Counseling and Mental Health Center, and has continued through her 17 years of private practice. Dr. Ansorge was also member of the Austin Women’s Psychotherapy Project, bringing leaders in the field of gender-aware Psychotherapy to the Austin area, as well as presenting locally and nationally on topics in the areas of gender and sexuality as they relate to psychotherapy. Her written work has appeared in the National Center for PTSD Quarterly. 0:00-10:00 Introduction General difficulties in discussing sex with your partner Learning to talk about talking about sex Desire discrepancy and more complicated questions/conversations about sex The difficulty in beginning a discussion that you are afraid might be hurtful to your partner 10:00-20:00 How best to get dialogue going with your partner about desires and likes/dislikes When and where is the right place and time for the right conversation about your shared sex life? How sex is initiated and finding a compatible middle ground Desires and fantasies can often be considered taboo, but fantasies can also be a gold mine of communication Difference in fantasies between men and women, women of different ages 20:00-30:00 The element of novelty in women’s fantasies and element of pleasing their partner in men’s fantasies Part of women’s fantasies is being desired Caretaking and nurturing is counterintuitive to sexual narcissism Avoiding arousal/desire censorship 30:00-40:00 How to bring up talking about sex to one’s partner and using available resources Appreciating one’s partners perspective just like in any communication setting Wrap up and outro Resources Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence by Esther Perel, former guest on our show. The Erotic Mind: Unlocking the Inner Sources of Passion and Fulfillment by Jack Morin Tired Woman’s Guide to Passionate Sex: Reclaim Your Desire and Reignite Your Relationship by Laurie B. Mintz Come as You Are by Emily Nagosaki We appreciate our sponsor TheraNest! Our show is not just for mental health professionals AT ALL, but if you are a mental health professional, you will appreciate our sponsor as well! Most of us do not want to spend our time on the business aspect of our practice. TheraNest is a practice management software that will help you streamline and manage your entire practice with ease.

TU70: Challenge Your “Busy” Identity – Gain Consciousness Over Your Pace Jul 19, 2018

Show notes

Do you use a to-do list as a way to justify the need to be busy rather then the other way around? Idleness can breed discomfort and busyness seems to help to fill in the gap. Learn how conscious busyness and idleness can generate cognitive health and happiness, while unconscious busyness just adds to the stress trap. As real therapists, we challenge you to not believe what you think. Inquire. It’s healthy to question the stories you tell about yourself and the world… update your model. Check out your story. See if what you tell yourself is still true, or has ever been true. If it’s right there is no problem in questioning, but if you are in a mental rut you wouldn’t know it unless you cache the map and look again. In this episode we ask you, has being busy become an identity, a badge of honor, or is it simply a fear of being idle? Perhaps an antidote to loneliness? A way to be needed? A VIP? Are you choosing your schedule or feel as if you are being handed it? Is that true? 🙂 Dive deep into an exploration of how our relationship to busyness can distance us from ourselves and those around us. Therapist Uncensored co-hosts Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott discuss how a sense of urgency, a desire for a sense of importance, stress, and discomfort are all interrelated in dealing with idleness in your everyday lives. We’ll talk about how you can keep your mind engaged in moments of idleness and how you can make the most of your resting state by truly being idle or through purposeful activity. 0:00-10:00 Introduction Why do our minds want to be busy? How is being busy a culturally dictated status symbol? Choice and sense of urgency effect Purpose, busyness and stress The psychological discomfort of idleness despite the natural, evolutionary desire to choose it 10:00-20:00 Choosing idleness as a primal need to conserve energy Natural aversion to idleness without purpose The appeal of mindfulness through its intent to bring you something Keeping your brain busy with new skills keeps it healthier in the long run (processing speed, episodic memory) 20:00-30:00Differentiating being full vs. being busy Importance vs. urgency Your brain is always working, even (or especially) in idle times How best to use your resting state 30:00-40:00Learn to be idle rather than occupy your idle time OR move and be active (purposeful l idleness vs. purposeful activity) Boredom and stimulation, meaning and purpose Wrap up and outro Resources: Being busy may be good for your brain! Smithsonian Magazine. The Challenges of the Disengaged Mind The Busier the Better: Greater Busyness Is Associated with Better Cognition We appreciate our sponsor TheraNest! Our show is not just for mental health professionals AT ALL, but if you are a mental health professional, you will appreciate our sponsor as well! Most of us do not want to spend our time on the business aspect of our practice. TheraNest is a practice management software that will help you streamline and manage your entire practice with ease. They provide HIPPA compliant documentation, full-featured calendar (even with text reminders!), insurance and client billing, credit card processing and live customer service. Ourlisteners receiving 20% discount on first three months if you sign up with TheraNest.com/Therapistuncensored.

TU69: Exploring Intersecting Genders – What We Can All Learn with Guest Li Brookens Jul 10, 2018

Show notes

Walk through the discovery experience of coming to understand yourself as transgender and see how this coming to know yourself relates to everyone, not just those who identify as non-binary. What's the difference between transgender and butch lesbian, sex, gender and sexual orientation, tomboy and trans... and what's the deal with the strange pronouns. Find out here.

TU68: Separation at the Border – Compounding Trauma and Insecurity Jul 02, 2018

Show notes

"Security" at the border? Relational science professionals have a lot to offer to understand the human rights event that is unfolding on the US-Mexico border. This podcast has been all about promoting security in ourselves and our loved ones, and a primary component to this is access to your caregiver when you are young. It effects our biology, or persistent sense of ourselves and our view of the world. But it works both ways... Stress and fear that is ongoing also has the same persistent thumbprint as well.

TU67: A Practical Technique to Calm and Confidence with Guest Richard Hill Jun 25, 2018

Show notes

As we continue our discussion of the relational sciences in everyday life, this episodes examines practical treatment ideas from a practitioner's playbook. Mirroring Hands is outlined and demonstrated in this episode.

TU66: Lessons from the Single-Not-Dating World on Using Attachment Science in Real Life, with Guest Becki Mendivil Jun 04, 2018

Show notes

All the single listeners (think Beyonce!) heads up. Learn to use attachment science at work and delve more deeply into the avoidant end of the spectrum. Attachment science isn't just about relationships, it's decades of research on how we come to see ourselves and have unconscious expectations about the world. This conversation really highlights how to think about applying it in real life scenarios, sans therapy-speak.

TU65: Sensorimotor Psychotherapy – Tuning Into the Wisdom of Your Body With Guest Dr. Pat Ogden May 25, 2018

Show notes

Learn how tapping into the depth of wisdom your body holds can have a huge impact on your sense of self. Body attunement + conscious reflection (left/right, top/bottom integration) are hallmark markers of secure functioning. Tap into your own body as a deep and abiding source of information and means of finding self-understanding and closer connection.

TU64: Mindfulness Meditation with Yoga Therapist Kelly Inselmann, Bonus Episode May 16, 2018

Show notes

Mindfulness literally soothes our nervous system - straight up, super cool meditation. Try it and repeat. Enjoy a straight shot of Kirtan Kriya Meditation from Kundalini Yoga Instructor and Therapist, Kelly Inselman. That's fancy for coolness and calm. Who doesn't want that? Dive right in and give yourself the gift of practicing along - we guarantee a more regulated nervous system moment. Money back guarantee. :)

TU63: Living with Cancer – The Six Principles of Emotional Healing with Guest Kelly Inselmann May 10, 2018

Show notes

Cancer sucks, no way around it. If you have it, had it or are supporting someone who does, this episode will be nourishment for you by bringing your mind and body into the healing and recovery process for cancer and trauma is so important.

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