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    Arts

    The Worst Bestsellers

    We read stuff so you don’t have to.

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    Copyright: Copyright © Worst Bestsellers 2024

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    Latest Episodes:
    Episode 84 – Lizzie Borden Oct 23, 2017
    Show notes

    Lizzie Borden by Elizabeth Engstrom

    We heard you like true crime podcasts, so we read Lizzie Borden by Elizabeth Engstrom and hit the road for a visit to Fall River to investigate the shocking Borden murders, joined by our editor Becca and Renata’s roommate Lindsay. But mostly we want to talk about this historical fiction novel that posits that Lizzie a) murdered her parents because she and her father were having an affair with the same woman and b) got away with the crime because technically Lizzie committed the crime via astrally projecting her murderous spirit. At least, we’re pretty sure that’s what happened? Next time we’ll get Serial on the case, but for now, enjoy our efforts (and our sexy dramatic readings)!

    Readers advisory: Here.

    Footnotes: Bed & Breakfast & Borden Murder, Renata’s blog post about the trip

    11 “Facts” About Lizzie Borden Debunked by Sarah Miller

    Candy pairing: Becca says candy corn,Kait says banana saltwater taffy, Lindsay says Warheads, Renata says Swedish fish.

    Coming up next:Alex & Eliza by Melissa de la Cruz.

    * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

    (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)


    Episode 83 – Handbook for Mortals Oct 09, 2017
    Show notes

    Handbook for Mortals by Lani Sarem

    Kelly Jensen (Book Riot editor, co-host of Book Riot’s Hey YA podcast, & editor of Here We Are: Feminism for the Real World) joined us for the 23-hour bestseller, Handbook for Mortals by Lani Sarem. We’re so glad that CSI: YA solved this case and brought the book off the bestseller list, because, wow, it is not good. Join us for a story about a girl who’s pretty, but not, like, too pretty? But pretty enough that her magick (with a k) brings all the boys to the yard, including Wayne Newton and Carrot Top. For real: Carrot Top is in the yard. Enjoy!

    Readers advisory: Here.

    Special note: If you’re reading this the day it comes out, 10/9/17, it’s the last day to enter our raffle to benefit hurricane relief for Puerto Rico! (If you’re reading this in the future: greetings. Sorry you missed our raffle.)

    Footnotes: Did This Book Buy Its Way Onto The New York Times Bestseller List?

    The Story of Lani Sarem & Her Handbook for Mortals Is Peak White Entitlement

    The Making (and Unmaking) of a 23-Hour New York Times Best Seller

    Author Removed From New York Times Best-Seller List Fires Back at Critics

    The Story Of “My Immortal” Is More Wild And Heartbreaking Than You Imagined

    My Immortal memoir canceled: Author says she’s been ‘branded a liar’

    Candy pairing: Kait says Raven’s Revenge, Kelly says Fun Dip, Renata says a stolen maraschino cherry.

    Coming up next:Lizzie Borden by Elizabeth Engstrom.

    * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

    (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)


    Episode 82 – Breaking Dawn Sep 25, 2017
    Show notes

    Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer

    It’s been three years since our very first episode, when Carrie read Twilight by Stephenie Meyer with us! (And two years since we read New Moon and one year since we read Eclipse!) We’re back to play the Worst Bestsellers drinking game and drunkenly discuss the final book in the saga, Breaking Dawn. It’s a book with something for everyone–a wedding, a horrifyingly graphic birth scene, a baby, a werewolf pack schism, and a vampire named Renata. Thanks to all our Best Listeners for three great years of terrible books!

    How the #podcat gets made 😻 pic.twitter.com/phEOZaVls7

    — Renata Sancken (@renatasnacks) September 8, 2017

    It’s that time, once again. #wbsdrinkinggame pic.twitter.com/iAJ9COjqMo

    — kait 👻🏳️‍🌈🎃 (@fourteenacross) September 8, 2017

    Readers advisory: Twilight

    New Moon

    Eclipse

    Footnotes: Bonus Episode – Twilight Movies (Patreon patrons only)

    Iron Wine – “Flightless Bird, American Mouth” (Breaking Dawn wedding song)

    We Might Be Getting More ‘Hunger Games’ and ‘Twilight’ Movies

    Great Comet’s Creator Still Can’t Believe How His Show Ended

    Renata Batteries

    How Did This Get Made? #27 – Breaking Dawn Part 1

    How Did This Get Made? #50 – Breaking Dawn Part 2

    Worst Bestsellers Drinking Game

    Candy pairing: Carrie says Lik-M-Aid, Kait says Jordan almonds, Renata says Doritos.

    Coming up next: Handbook for Mortals by Lani Sarem.

    * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

    (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)


    Episode 81 – Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter Sep 11, 2017
    Show notes

    Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter by Seth Grahame-Smith

    Kait and Renata decided to take a break from sexy vampires and learn some more about our nation’s history, so they asked KL (@momebie, @LaraEckener) to read Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter by Seth Grahame-Smith with them. They learned that white people are bad and vampires are even worse. Tuck your headphones under your stovepipe hat and listen now!

    Readers advisory: Here.

    Footnotes: “I Don’t Want To Watch Slavery Fan-Fiction” by Roxane Gay

    Queer as a Five Dollar Bill by Lee Wind

    Was Lincoln Bisexual? by Gore Vidal

    Lincoln the Lover by Wilma Frances Minor

    Worst Bestsellers #46 – Killing Lincoln

    How Did This Get Made #108 – Con Air with Seth Grahame-Smith

    Candy pairing: Kait says wax vampire fangs, KL says root beer barrels, Renata says old timey stick candy.

    Coming up next: Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer.

    * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

    (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)


    Episode 80 – Dead Until Dark Aug 28, 2017
    Show notes

    Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris

    Out of the coffin and into the world of Bon Temps! Kristin May joined us to read Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris, the first of the Sookie Stackhouse novels that inspired the show True Blood. Despite the troubling trend of Confederate vampires and the overabundance of heterosexuality, this book had a lot of over-the-top drama for us to sink our teeth into–and, even better, a lot of paperwork for us to fill out.

    Thank you note: Thanks so much to our Patreon sponsors for choosing this book for us to read in our first annual Patreon poll!

    Patreon shout-out: Devin encourages you to visit the Wayne State University Museum of Anthropology and Planetarium, newly under the direction of his sister Megan!

    Content warning: This book has light mentions of child sexual abuse and sexual assault.

    Readers advisory: Here.

    Footnotes: Buffy Failed: ‘True Blood’ and the Accommodation of Vampires by Jon Stratton

    The Trials, Tribulations & Turning of True Blood’s Tara Thornton

    ‘Redliners’ Drama Based On Charlaine Harris Works Gets NBC Pilot Order

    Dracula vs. The Marvel Universe: 14 Times The Lord of The Undead Fought Superheroes!

    Candy pairing: Kait says candy blood, Kristin says a Take5 bar, Renata says beignets.

    Coming up next: Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter by Seth Grahame-Smith.

    * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

    (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)


    Episode 79 – Dark Archer Aug 14, 2017
    Show notes

    The Dark Archer by John & Carole Barrowman, Daniel Sampere, & Juan Albarran

    In a crossover event worthy of the CW itself, the Bellwether Friends, Anna & Alene, joined us to discuss the Arrow tie-in graphic novel The Dark Archer, written by Kait’s nemesis John Barrowman (and Carole Barrowman) with art by Daniel Sampere & Juan Albarran. Are you fan of the CW’s Arrow? Well, too bad, because this comic contains none of the characters you love from that show, only John Barrowman. Alternately, have you never seen Arrow? Don’t worry, neither has Kait, and she understood this comic just as well as everyone else did. (None of us understood this comic at all because it’s extremely convoluted.)

    Spoiler warning: This episode contains some spoilers for previous seasons of Arrow, except not really because Renata cannot reliably remember anything that actually ever happened on that show.

    Readers advisory: Here.

    Footnotes: Arrow Wiki page for Malcolm Merlyn

    Arrow Wiki page for Nanda Parbat

    Podcast-strology: WBS’s Compatibility with Bellwether Friends

    Dramatic Reading Panels: (click to embiggen)

    The Dark Archer by John & Carole Barrowman, Daniel Sampere, & Juan AlbarranThe Dark Archer by John & Carole Barrowman, Daniel Sampere, & Juan Albarran

    The Dark Archer by John & Carole Barrowman, Daniel Sampere, & Juan Albarran

    That Sideboob Tho

    The Dark Archer by John & Carole Barrowman, Daniel Sampere, & Juan AlbarranThe Dark Archer by John & Carole Barrowman, Daniel Sampere, & Juan Albarran

    The Dark Archer by John & Carole Barrowman, Daniel Sampere, & Juan AlbarranThe Dark Archer by John & Carole Barrowman, Daniel Sampere, & Juan Albarran

    The Dark Archer by John & Carole Barrowman, Daniel Sampere, & Juan Albarran

    Renata’s Future Tattoo

    Candy pairing: Alene says bulk chocolate fake M&Ms, Anna says a Choco Taco, Kait says Cool Ranch Doritos, Renata says a jawbreaker with a gummy dino.

    Coming up next: Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris.

    * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

    (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)


    Episode 78 – The Face on the Milk Carton Jul 31, 2017
    Show notes

    The Face on the Milk Carton by Caroline B. Cooney

    It’s Flashback Summer. Do you know where your daughter is? Have you looked on your beverage container? Jenny (definitely not Janie), Co-Founder of Grinnell College’s Caroline B. Cooney Book Club, joined us to discuss The Face on the Milk Carton. Join us for this wild dive into the world of cults, dairy products, and microfilm!

    Readers advisory: Here.

    Patreon shout-out: Thanks to Ai for supporting our Patreon! Check out their podcast Decoding Keanu.

    Footnotes: ‘Resentments I Have Formed Against Characters From “The Face On The Milk Carton” By Caroline B. Cooney’ by Mallory Ortberg

    ‘The Face on the Milk Carton’ Grows Up

    Frequently Challenged Young Adult Books

    The Face on the Milk Carton movie

    When Bad News Was Printed on Milk Cartons

    99% Invisible – Milk Carton Kids

    The Devil’s Elbow: ‘The Stranger’ Recap

    Who Killed Lois Duncan’s Daughter?

    I Am Feel Uncomfortable When We Are Not About Me?

    Candy pairing: Jenny says something you’re allergic to or chocolate that is not Rainforest Alliance certified, Kait says Oreos, Renata says fruit juice popsicles.

    Coming up next: The Dark Archer by John & Carole Barrowman.

    * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

    (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)


    Episode 77 – Boxcar Children Jul 17, 2017
    Show notes Boxcar Children by Gertrude Chandler WarnerThe Mystery of the Purple Pool by Gertrude Chandler WarnerFlashback Summer goes all the way back to 1942 to read The Boxcar Children and The Mystery of the Purple Pool (Boxcar Children Mystery #38) by Gertrude Chandler Warner. Kait has returned from her Comet pilgrimage, and we were also joined by Katie Schenkel (@JustPlainTweets), writer of Moonlighters, to unpack the biggest mysteries of all: why the Boxcar Children made homelessness seem to appealing, and why their boxcar past equipped these extremely well-behaved children with detective skills. Pour yourself a glass of milk in your favorite pink cup and listen now!

    Readers advisory: Here.

    Footnotes: “The Boxcar Children” and the Spirit of Capitalism by Jia Tolentino

    What the hell happened to the Boxcar Children’s parents?

    Candy pairing: Kait says Werther’s Originals, Katie says satellite wafers or candy cigarettes, Renata says bread.

    Coming up next: The Face on the Milk Carton by Caroline B. Cooney.

    * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

    (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)


    Episode 76 – American Girl Jul 03, 2017
    Show notes Meet Addy by Connie PorterMolly Saves the Day by Valerie TrippAs Flashback Summer continues and the 4th of July approaches, we asked our guest Rebecca the most fraught question you can ask an American child of the 90s: which American Girl doll did you have? After the nostalgic dust settled, we also discussed Meet Addy by Connie Porter and Molly Saves the Day by Valerie Tripp. We confronted America’s violently racist history, and also the fact that sometimes it’s hard to wear glasses at summer camp. Put on a bonnet and play this episode on your teeny-tiny Victrola today!

    Readers advisory: Here.

    Footnotes: How Two “Slavery With a Smile” Controversies Are Changing the Conversation About Diverse Children’s Books

    The Making of Addy Walker, American Girl’s First Black Doll

    Permanent Underwear Controversy

    Twitter Thinks American Girl’s New Boy Doll Looks Like A Hipster Who Will Ghost You

    What Your American Girl Doll Says About the Rest of Your Life

    Candy pairing: Becca says Hershey’s chocolate, Rebecca says Blow Pops, Renata says a chocolate-covered bug.

    Coming up next: Boxcar Children by Gertrude Chandler Warner.

    * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

    (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)


    Episode 75 – Saddle Club Jun 19, 2017
    Show notes

    Horse Shy by Bonnie Bryant

    Hey, do you like horses? If so, great news: Flashback Summer continues as Jess (from Book Riot Comics) joined Renata and Becca to discuss Horse Shy from the Saddle Club series by Bonnie Bryant! If you don’t like horses: too bad, because that’s literally the only thing these Saddle Club girls talk about. Saddle up and hear us unpack a book that traumatized many young horse enthusiasts!

    TYPICAL ADAM LEVINE pic.twitter.com/dvGAufciuh

    — Renata Sancken (@renatasnacks) June 5, 2017

    Promotional note: Come see us live at the Freepoint Hotel in Cambridge, MA on June 20th at 7pm!

    Readers advisory: Here.

    Footnotes: #WeNeedDiverse Saddle Club Book Covers

    9 Saddle Club Books That Totally Ruled Your World As A Kid

    Candy pairing: Becca says Neigh-cco wafers, Jess says a disgusting Tastee Delight sundae, Renata says a stale granola bar.

    Coming up next: Meet Addy by Connie Porter and Molly Saves the Day by Valerie Tripp (American Girls series).

    * Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

    (But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)


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