The Topical

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Frustrated Political Scientist Patton Oswalt Attempts To Explain Gerrymandering Without Help Of Visual Aids Oct 26, 2020

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OPR election expert Patton Oswalt attempts to explain the controversial practice, but this time on a podcast. Will he be able to show voters how gerrymandering affects their ballot without using any of his usual charts or maps?

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Health Experts Determine College Social Distancing Guidelines Still No Match For The Jasonator Oct 23, 2020

Show notes

Hear why even the strictest protocols may not be enough to prevent the spread of The J-Dog with a case full of brewskis.

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Conservatives Hopeful SCOTUS Majority Will Bring Days Of On-Demand Cervical Cancer Detection To An End Oct 22, 2020

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Hear why many Christian pro-life groups are celebrating what they believe could be the judicial power needed to stop pap smears and HPV tests for good.

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High Crime Rate Leading More Inmates To Consider Moving Out Of Prison Oct 21, 2020

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Hear where the nation’s incarcerated plan to flee in order to start a safer, quieter life.

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Report: Friends Don’t Really Think Of You As Part Of Group Oct 20, 2020

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Hear why the people you thought you were closest with actually don’t feel similarly at all.

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CDC Reclassifies Majority Of Covid-19 Deaths To Being Personally Murdered By Barack Obama Oct 19, 2020

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Hear why top health officials now believe most of the 200,000 fatalities in the U.S. can be attributed to violent underlying conditions brought on by our nation’s 44th president.

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L’Oréal Introduces New Smudge-Proof Lipstick Able To Withstand Getting Hit By Bus Oct 16, 2020

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L’Oréal’s new FaceSmash collection guarantees not to blotch or smear even after you’ve been pancaked by a 20-ton bus hauling ass down the highway. But is it too good to be true?

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Scientists Discover Dangerous Link Between Book Learnin’, Back Talk Oct 15, 2020

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Hear why increased exposure to highfalutin books in fancy-type settings could cause you to get a little too big for your own britches.

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Finland Ended Homelessness: Why Trying To Show Us Up Like That Comes Off As Insecure Oct 14, 2020

Show notes

Because, like, we could totally end it tomorrow if we also wanted to be a bunch of tryhard suck-ups like Finland.

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Report: Amtrak Loses $100 Million Annually To Route Interruptions Caused By Mustachioed Villains Tying Kidnapped Damsels To Railroad Tracks Oct 13, 2020

Show notes

Find out how often your local route is disrupted by train conductors unwittingly barreling over screaming lassies as they wave their dainty handkerchiefs in the air for help.

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