The Tim Hawkins Podcast

Latest Episodes:

S2 Ep3: Wash the Bloody Fork May 17, 2021

Show notes

This week, Tim and the gang are joined by his arguably more famous mother, Nelda, as they discuss selling family heirlooms and create a step-by-step guide to fix modern worship music. Jordan Peterson tells you why Communism failed and why you need to wash the bloody fork! Luke uses pop-quiz videos to bolster his ego and Tim evokes the spirit of Elvis in the king's famous final moments on the can.

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S2 Ep2: Separation of Church and Dispensary May 12, 2021

Show notes

This week, Tim and the family/crew discuss a tattoo show that pits people against each other, the bizarre similarities between church and pot dispensary names, and the state of modern country music guitar solos. (What is Brad Paisley doing, exactly?) Livy and Tim stumble into a roast battle, Luke hurts himself doing a shoulder workout, and they recount those precious few concerts/songs that have brought them each to tears.

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S2 Ep1: Clean Plate Club May 06, 2021

Show notes

This week, Tim and his family discuss their greatest fears, the curious case of “Clean Plate” syndrome, and a questionable pronouncement of “the Queen of the World”. Tim recounts his early days as a joke writer for a rock radio station in Dallas, and there’s a special guest call-in from Dr. Fauci, who updates the Hawkins clan on the latest Covid-19 protocols (spoiler alert: 2 masks simply won’t do it).

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S1 Ep100: 100 - Crappaw Chaos, Relationship Breakdown, and Cyclops Qwahf Oct 25, 2018

Show notes

This week, Freight won’t come out of his bunk. Tim has some BIG family news! Tim can do a dog sound. The crew receives the largest gift basket in Poddy Break history. Levi throws down some serious love wisdom. Aaaand Branyan and Tim want to arrange a marriage for Caleb.

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S1 Ep99: 099 - Tunafish Origins, Chicken Chest, and Dwarf Watch Oct 18, 2018

Show notes

This week, Tim still remembers his lines from his 5th grade play. Caleb doesn’t like chocolate. The crew fields questions from the audience. Aaaaand racist Freight makes an aggressive return to the show.

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S1 Ep98: 098 - Baboon Bacteria, Bigfoot Identity, and Scottish Scotty Oct 11, 2018

Show notes

This week, there was some miscommunication between Gerbs and Levi… we’re down to a foursome. Caleb wants to be paired with Bob during a zombie apocalypse. The crew gets a call from Nessy’s handler, Scotty McCracken, via Siri. Tim’s garage is the colon of the house. What IS Bigfoot? Aaaaaand Tim has a big secret.

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S1 Ep97: 097 - Sweet Mayo, Mississippi Mark, and Return of the Freightbacks Oct 04, 2018

Show notes

This week, Dustin hates Disney. Tim has an epiphany about a new life change. The crew recounts odd show day memories. What’s your fav fried chicken? A fight breaks out after the Sunday night show. Aaaaaand the crew gets a late night craving for PB&Js.

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S1 Ep96: 096 - The Prodigal Sahn, Bike Injury, and John Cougar Gibberish Sep 27, 2018

Show notes

This week, the crew starts the show without Tim. Jonnie breaks down a conspiracy theory. Tim talks to God about his golf clubs. Tiger wins the Tour Championship. What does Freight even do here? What is John Cougar saying? Aaaaaand Mark’s drops have taken the show to a whole new level.

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S1 Ep95: 095 - Rag-Tag, Shawshank, and Goff Sep 20, 2018

Show notes

This week, we have a VERY IMPORTANT update on dancing gym chick. Freight and Dustin wrestle backstage during the show. The guys analyze IMDb’s top 10 movies of all time. Is Jerry Seinfeld universally funny? Tim gets second-handed compliments from fans. Caleb’s baseball team doesn’t care about winning. Dustin’s hot take is interrupted by fruit snacks. Aaaaand practical joke stories galore.

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S1 Ep94: 094 - Qwah, Golf or Goff, and Flying Pineapple Aug 23, 2018

Show notes

This week, we’re playing Mark karaoke. Jonnie hits someone else’s golf ball on the fairway. People keep calling Caleb Tommy Fleetwood. Freight can’t say “golf”. Caleb wants to get Carey the bus driver on the show. What do we do for the 100th episode? Aaaaand Tim feels like he’s in the womb at Costco.

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