The Place We Find Ourselves

Latest Episodes:

174 How to Engage Sexual Harm In A Way That Brings Healing with Dan Allender Oct 04, 2026

Show notes

Dan Allender returns to the podcast for an honest, tender conversation about sexual abuse — what it is, how it wounds the body and brain, and why naming it is so hard. He and Adam talk through the tangle of betrayal, shame, and even arousal that survivors carry, and why none of that means something is wrong with you. They wade into the harder territory too: where God is in all of it, and how faith can either help us bypass our pain or help us finally feel it. We close with a real, practical picture of healing—not as a technique, but as an invitation to sit with the wounded parts of yourself the way you'd sit with an old friend over a meal.

173 I Am Badass: Loss, A Woman's Cycle, and Hope Jun 02, 2025

Show notes

Stephanie Duncan Smith joins me today to talk about her book, "Even After Everything: The Spiritual Practice of Knowing the Risks and Loving Anyway." Topics covered include: Stephanie's pregnancy losses, how she learned to think differently about her period (and her entire cycle), the importance of listening to our bodies, Stephanie's struggle with hope, and (my favorite part) her morning shower ritual where she proclaims, "I am beloved, I am baptized, and I am badass."

172 Spiritual and Religious Trauma with Dr. Hillary McBride May 15, 2025

Show notes

Dr. Hillary McBride talks about her new book titled, Holy Hurt: Understanding Spiritual Trauma and the Process of Healing. Topics covered include: our deep human need to belong, the inherent goodness of your heart (despite what you may have been told), how healing should not be defined as "something going away," and the importance of witnessing your emotions and letting them unfold. Hillary and I are co-hosting the Spiritual Trauma conference on Saturday, June 7, 2025. You can learn more here.

171 Your Sexuality and Your Story: Linking Past to Present Apr 08, 2025

Show notes

I am joined today by author Jay Stringer to talk about sexual stuckness/difficulties/struggles. Healthy sexuality is deeply tied to the degree to which we have made sense of our story in our family of origin. Sadly, so few of us have ever been asked to connect the dots between our past life story and the sexual difficulties we face in the present. Today, Jay and I try to connect some of those dots. If you want to understand your sexual story in more depth, please sign up for The Sexual Attachment Conference on May 3rd, 2025. We want to help you understand and transform some of the sexual difficulties you may be experiencing either individually or as a couple.

170 Make Sense of Your Story: Dan Allender Interviews Adam Mar 07, 2025

Show notes

Today's episode is different. Dan Allender takes over the podcast to interview me about my new book titled, Make Sense of Your Story: Why Engaging Your Past with Kindness Changes Everything. Topics covered include: how to respond when we fail those we love, how the book launch re-enacts core dynamics in my life, how to listen to the story your body is telling you, as well as your sexual story and your collective story.

169 How to Experience the Kind Presence of God with John Eldredge Jan 27, 2025

Show notes

John Eldredge returns to the podcast to talk about his newest book titled, "Experience Jesus. Really." Topics covered include: how to live as an ordinary mystic (someone who experiences the sweet presence of God on a regular basis), why you don't need to understand something to experience it and benefit from it, the importance of turning toward Jesus with the parts of our hearts that are not doing well, and how the presence of Jesus heals even the fragmented and traumatized parts of us.

168 Longing for Delight and Honoring Anger Jan 13, 2025

Show notes

I am joined today by my friend Gail Stucker who is a trauma-informed story coach. Gail generously shares a story about herself as an 8th grader. Topics we cover: taking your story seriously when you don't believe you have any "capital T" trauma, longing for the delight of your parents, blessing your desire for delight as a good thing even though the unmet longing is agonizing, blessing anger at those who have harmed us, listening to the sensations in our bodies, and honoring what our hatred is telling us.

167 StoryWork: What It Is and Why It Matters with Dan Allender and Cathy Loerzel Jan 06, 2025

Show notes

You have a story and that story matters. Your story in your family of origin significantly affects the way you think, feel, and act in the world today. This is why Dan Allender says, "It is time to listen to your story." What if healing begins by listening to your story? By reflecting on the experiences in your growing up years, you can better understand why your brain has been shaped in the way that it has. If you want to experience more of the healing power of understanding your own story, join Dan, Cathy, and myself in Atlanta, GA, on Saturday February 22, 2025, for the StoryWork Conference. The conference will be live streamed if you can't make it to Atlanta. You can register by going to adamyoungcounseling.com. CEU's are available for therapists.

166 Why Your Marriage Feels The Way It Does Dec 16, 2024

Show notes

I am joined today by Dr. Dan Allender and Dr. Steve Call to talk about the complexities of marriage relationships. Dan and Steve recently co-authored a book titled, "The Deep-Rooted Marriage: Cultivating Intimacy, Healing, and Delight." If you are committed to the growth of yourself and your spouse, marriage will be hard. Today, Dan and Steve talk about how the look and feel of our present marriages are tied to each partner's past story. We also discuss stuckness, shame, neurons, and blessing/cursing.

165 A Concise Explanation of Avoidant and Ambivalent Attachment Dec 02, 2024

Show notes

I dive into a detailed explanation of avoidant and ambivalent attachment. I explain why and how a child develops each of these insecure attachment styles. I then outline how you are supposed to know in adulthood if you have an avoidant or ambivalent attachment style. Your attachment style (secure, avoidant, or ambivalent) profoundly affects how you experience relationships and how you express yourself in relationship. And your attachment style develops based on your relationship with your primary caregivers.

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