The Parenting Reframe

Latest Episodes:

Tips to Help with Back to School Aug 16, 2023

Show notes

This is a mini-episode. We are going over tips to help alleviate the stress that comes during the back to school season. We know this can be a stressful time for our kids, which in turns makes it stressful for the parents. Our kids feel our emotions, so if we are stressed, they are feeling this. Practical tips on how to handle this will be shared. We also discuss getting back to a school schedule after the summer and how to handle being overwhelmed, knowing when to say no and why it’s important to break some of the rules during this time. I’m wishing everyone a great school year and if you need some extra help, you can book a call with me.

Back-school-tips to help parents and kids

#1 Tip: Take some time to check in with yourself and acknowledge your stress during this chaotic time of year. Your kids sense and feel your emotions.

When you have the kid that doesn’t like school, you tend to be more reactive. Instead learn ways to listen to your kids using empathy.
Try to think of times when you have to do things you really don’t want to do so you can understand how your child is feeling.
Give yourself a few moments a day to really see what’s coming up for you and how you are feeling.
Use storytelling to help. Let your kids know how it felt when you went through it as a kid or how you feel when you’re starting something new. It’s a great way to connect.
Talk to your kids about how they feel in general about going back to school.

#2 Tip: Get back on your sleep schedule

If you can, start 10 days before the first day of school and start shifting their bed time back in small increments so it’s not detected by your kiddos.
If you weren’t able to do the shift, adjust your mindset to know that the first week back is going to be a little rough.
Be prepared for big emotions until they adjust to their new sleep schedule. Use PARR, Pause, Acknowledge, Respond, Reflect to help with this.

# 3 Tip: Letting Go when you are feeling overwhelmed

Going back to school can be a stressful time for both parents and children. Dealing with all the emails and meet the teachers, and buying all the supplies can be so overwhelming.
I wrote an article for Detroit that goes over how to let go when life gets overwhelming, linked below. Here are some tips from it.
- Really get clear on your priorities.
- Do a rear view mirror test, Author Light Watkins has a test where you envision yourself 10 years from now and ask yourself what do you really want to remember about right now in this day.
- This helps to really ask what do I need, which most mothers don’t sit with or ask themselves. It is so important for mothers to do this.
Give yourself permission to break the rules when routines change, it’s hard for everyone.
Don’t make it the week to set rules about screentime, it’s ok to break some rules for this week.
Plan check-ins with yourself on how things are going. Go over what worked and what didn’t, what is really important.
Take the time to see what is really a priority in your week, and say no when things don’t work with your schedule.
When you do this and become really intentional about your time, you will really show up for what you commit to.
I hope everyone adjusts quickly to going back to school and also has a great school year!

Resources:

If you would like to do my 8-week 1:1 coaching with me to get a custom road map on how best to tune into your child’s needs, book a free call to see if we are a good fit. https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/theparentingreframe_store/page/51536

My article referenced in the podcast. https://www.hourdetroit.com/fitness-wellness/learn-to-let-go-when-life-is-overwhelming/

Here is the link to Light Watkins site to check out his challenge that I talked about. https://www.lightwatkins.com/

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

The Parenting Reframe Podcast is edited by JAG Podcast Productions: https://jagpodcastproductions.com/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Ask Me Any Parenting Questions Aug 02, 2023

Show notes

This is a mini-episode where I went over questions from my audience to ask me anything about parenting. We go over how to handle breaks when your child wants to run away and how to help your 18-month-old understand the consequence even though they don’t understand language yet. We also go over how to handle sibling fighting and much more. This was a fun episode, and I will be doing more of these. If you have any questions, please reach out to me!

What we go over on ask me anything about parenting:

How to help with your child when they run away when you try to do a “break,” per Joe Newman’s process in helping strong-willed kids to help correct or improve a behavior.

A break is a way to help your child reset - it is not a punishment. This is to help teach self-regulation.

How to stop the fighting between siblings.

We go over my view on sibling battles and how it is very triggering to parents.

How we have to teach siblings to disagree calmly and correctly.

Why you don’t want to blame anyone and have questions to ask to help to understand why the fighting is happening.

How to stop an inappropriate behavior immediately when they are not listening.

Why whining is so triggering to parents, it can bring up thoughts of bad parenting.

How to explain behaviors to my 18-month-old when they don’t have the language skills yet to understand it?

Why explanations are not consequences

How children learn through actions and experiences

We review an example of how to handle a tantrum without a lengthy explanation.

Redirecting an 18-month-old is a helpful tool, and staying calm will help with these situations.

How to get your child to stop headbanging or other behaviors when they are having a tantrum.

This is a normal behavior for children and does mean that something is always wrong.

3 must-dos when they are in the middle of this behavior to help.

Using PARR, Pause, Acknowledge, Respond, Reflect is essential in these situations to help your child regulate their emotions and yours.

My favorite Proteins for my smoothies: Be Well by Kelly & Garden of Life

I was asked if I watch tv, and I love to watch tv! The Bear is my new favorite. Make sure to check it out.

My favorite Podcasts: Pulling the Thread, Raising Good Humans, Cathy Heller, We Can Do Hard Things

Resources:

We go over breaks from episode 29 with Joe Newman. Make sure to check it out if you haven’t. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/raising-lions-with-joe-newman/id1608790325?i=1000612430664

Podcasts that I reference:

Pulling the Thread https://www.eliseloehnen.com/episodes

Raising Good Humans https://draliza.com/

Cathy Heller https://www.cathyheller.com/blog/

We Can Do Hard Things https://wecandohardthingspodcast.com/

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

The Parenting Reframe Podcast is edited by JAG Podcast Productions: https://jagpodcastproductions.com/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Balancing Being a Mom and an Entreprenuer Jul 19, 2023

Show notes

We are talking about balancing being a mom and an entrepreneur in this episode with my friend Emily, another Detroit mom. This was such an exciting episode to hear Emily’s journey of the early start of social media management and where she ended up. We go over the positive and negative of social media,and safety for your children. We go over how Emily balances her life and work with baby #4 on the way, all while writing a fiction book. This is a great conversation to hear a success story from a mother doing it all, we need more of this to keep inspiring other moms to go after what they love to do.

What we go over on:

Emily’s exciting journey to where she is now.
The high expectations we put on ourselves as mothers.
What balance really looks like as a mother.
We discuss the book ‘On Our Best Behaviour’ by Elise Loehnen - she goes over how are value is rooted in our productivity.
How to handle the writing without letting your head get in the way.
Just keep doing what you are passionate about and you will get better as you go.
You have to have a lot of courage and heart, there will always be critics but you just show up and keep doing what you are doing.
The only way to get better is to get comfortable with being green at one point and know that you will get better.
We need more mothers doing what they love with work and having a family to pave th way for other mothers to do the same.
The good of one is the good of the whole, every mother has their own personal story and there is room for everyone. Women need to get out of the competition and envious mindset of each other.
Emily talks about the positives and negatives of Social media, especially after being a part of the original team with Social media management and ads.
We go over about sharing your children on social media.
Finding your balance on what works for you when using social media and which platform works best for you and your niche.
How having one main hub for your content is important.
Elizabeth Gilbert book ‘Big Magic’ - she believes that ideas are a living breathing thing.
How mothers are the unsung heroes with the work they do every day.
Emily’s journey of writing her fiction book.

More about Emily Kay

Emily Kay is a creative consultant who specializes in digital marketing and content creation for brands, and is also a professional writer who is currently working on her debut novel.

She currently lives in metro Detroit with her husband and their three children, with their 4th and final baby due in October.

LINKS:

Website: http://isntthatcharming.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/isntthatcharming/

Resources:

Here is the link to find out more about the book we discuss by Elise Loehnen https://www.eliseloehnen.com/onourbestbehavior

Here is the link to find out more about what we discussed on Elizabeth Gilbert’s book, Big Magic. https://www.elizabethgilbert.com/

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

The Parenting Reframe Podcast is edited by JAG Podcast Productions: https://jagpodcastproductions.com/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Tips for Parents of Strong-Willed Kids Jul 05, 2023

Show notes

We are talking about tips for parents of strong-willed kids in this mini-episode. Some kids want approval, while others want power. As a parent, it can be very challenging to know how to help your child navigate their big feelings. Having strong boundaries for your strong-willed child is vital in helping them, even though this may be challenging for you as the parent. We will go over some ways to help.

What we go over on tips for parents of strong-willed kids:

Strong-willed kids don’t value approval; they value power. This really stood out to me from my talks with Joe Newman.
A strong-willed child may be having significant behaviors, tantrums, and meltdowns. This means they need even stronger boundaries.
When you have a first child who seeks approval and then a second child who wants power, you have to approach each child differently, which can be challenging.
Most parenting models are based on the child who seeks approval, not power.
When your child is acting up, they are asking you to help them anchor and calm down.
Don’t talk in the moment. Set the boundary, show empathy, and then let them regulate their emotions.
The longer you wait to set boundaries for strong-willed children, the harder it will be.
Teach self-regulation practices when a child is calm.
Joe Newman teaches breaks, where you let your child take a break for a minute so they can calm down. This helps teach them how to regulate their emotions.
Coaching can be so helpful in navigating strong-willed children to get all the pieces of the puzzle to help your child and you out.

Resources:

Check out Episode 29 to hear the whole conversation with Joe Newman. This is not an episode to miss if you have a strong-willed kiddo! https://theparentingreframe.com/podcast-episodes/episode-29-raising-lions-with-joe-newman/

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

The Parenting Reframe Podcast is edited by JAG Podcast Productions: https://jagpodcastproductions.com/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

How to Respond to Rude Behavior Jun 21, 2023

Show notes

We are talking on this mini-episode about how to respond to rude behavior from your children. This is a very popular subject, and I got a lot of questions and comments on this one. We will go into more detail on how to respond when your child is talking back rudely and why this can be so triggering to parents. We will also discuss how you should handle this differently with a child who is strong-willed and children who are seeking approval.

What we go over on how to respond to rude behaviour:

How rude talk is very triggering as a parent.
If you don’t have a process to stay calm as a parent, this can lead to energy matching from your child.
Why my method PARR is such an important practice to help stay calm in these situations. See below for the free training.
Using PARR does not mean not holding boundaries; it is there to help you respond with a more positive response.
Your kids are not in trouble for the way they feel. Having feelings doesn’t yield punishments. But there are consequences for their actions.
We want to have consequences for our children, not punishments that feel punitive in nature.
Dr. Becky says when you say your child is not respecting me, what you are really saying is my child doesn’t fear me.
Using fear will work in the short term but has consequences in the long term.
How using fear affects the child who is seeking approval.
If you have a strong-willed child, fear-based methods will not work.
Why over-explaining to your children does not help.
9 out of 10 times, when a parent says they didn’t get an explanation, you really needed to be seen and not ashamed.
Make sure to sign up for my webinar on how to help with your strong willed child, link below.

Resources:

You can grab the free recording here and learn what PARR is, how it can be implemented in your home, and what tools you need to transform from yelling, overwhelmed, and exhausted to responsive, connected and joyful.

My webinar on How to respond to strong willed kids will be on June 29th, at 5 pm EST/ 2 pm PST. Make sure you are signed up for my newsletter for all the information and here is the link to sign up for it. https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/live-webinar-raising-a-strongwilled-child.

I reference Dr. Becky’s quote in this podcast, make sure to check out her Website, IG page and book for more helpful information on parenting. https://www.goodinside.com/

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

The Parenting Reframe Podcast is edited by JAG Podcast Productions: https://jagpodcastproductions.com/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

How to Help Regulate Your Child’s Emotions Jun 07, 2023

Show notes

We are talking on this episode about how to help regulate your child’s emotions. This is not a skill children are born with it develops. We will go over some tips and tools on how to help your child navigate their emotions, and we also go over some ways to help you the parent stay calm. Please excuse my dog, every time I do an episode about tantrums, he has one too!

What we go over on how to regulate your child’s emotions:

What is self-regulation for a child?
What are signs that a child has good or bad self-regulations skills.
The core of why most children are having tantrums and issues is that they are needing to gain the ability to regulate their emotions.
Joe Newman talks about how when a child has too much power, they don’t know what to do with it. They are really reaching their hand out to their parent when they have too much power and asking who is going to meet my hand, by enforcing a firm boundary and staying consistent. Check out Episode 29 for more about this.
Why children need strong boundaries.
How the different ways parents grew up affect parenting styles.
How suppressed emotions affect your parenting.
How being inconsistent with your child confuses your child.
Why explaining during a tantrum is not helpful.
Make sure to validate and show empathy when your child is having big emotions.
If you are feeling anxious when you know a tantrum is coming, your child will feel this as well. This is when you have to stay calm and anchored.
What to do when your child is hitting you.
Know that the tantrums will get bigger when you start to let them regulate and be prepared to be calm to help them through it.
It is ok to walk away during a tantrum, as long as it’s not a punishment.
Why using my method PARR is so important to help stay calm when handling tantrums and hard emotions. PARR is Pause, Acknowledge, Respond, Reflect
Really pinpoint what is coming up for you so you can navigate stressful situations more effectively.
It does get easier when your child learns to self-regulate, I promise you.
You have to let your child do the hard part, let them go through the emotions.
I am opening up more spots for my 8-week 1:1 coaching so make sure to book your free call, link in the resources below.

Resources:

I reference Episode 29 - Raising Lion with Joe Newman, make sure to check out this episode for tips on how to set boundaries for your strong-willed child. https://theparentingreframe.com/podcast-episodes/episode-29-raising-lions-with-joe-newman/

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

The Parenting Reframe Podcast is edited by JAG Podcast Productions: https://jagpodcastproductions.com/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Stuttering in Children May 24, 2023

Show notes

We are talking with Dr. Derek Daniels about stuttering in children. He focuses on public perceptions of stuttering and factors that influence the psychosocial experiences of individuals who stutter. We will review some excellent tips on how to help your child navigate this journey.

What we go over about stuttering:

How stuttering is misunderstood in our society with so much misinformation
The definition of stuttering.
There are some kids outgrow it, and some don’t.
What is the best course if your child is stuttering?
Why making space for the child to talk is so important.
Don’t correct your child’s speech and let them enjoy talking.
Watch how you are handling the stress and reactions in front of your child.
Stuttering is not brain damage when we talk about neurological. Nothing is wrong. The brain is just more vulnerable.
The aspects of stuttering that Dr. Daniels works on are stigma, acceptance, and advocacy.
There are common microaggressions where people who stutter feel they need to defend themselves.
Dr. Daniels tells his story of stuttering and what brought him to do his incredible work.
Hiding and concealing were a big part of his life.
The biggest takeaway from a child to an adult, it’s going to be ok.
Just having conversations about stuttering is so essential to help break down the stigmas around stuttering.

Resources:

Learn more about Dr. Derek Daniels and resource for stuttering

Derek E. Daniels, Ph.D., CCC-SLP (he/him/his) dedaniels@wayne.edu

https://clasprofiles.wayne.edu/profile/dx5074

Associate Professor and Director of Graduate Studies (Graduate Officer)

Department of Communication Sciences and Disorders

Wayne State University

Vice President (V.P.) for Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion

Michigan Speech-Language-Hearing Association (MSHA)

Links of interest

American Speech-Language-Hearing Association-http://www.asha.org/

National Black Association for Speech-Language and Hearing (NBASLH)-http://www.nbaslh.org/

National Stuttering Association - http://www.westutter.org/

Camp Shout Out for Youth Who Stutter- http://www.campshoutout.org/

FRIENDS: The National Association for Young People Who Stutter-https://www.friendswhostutter.org/

MySpeech- https://myspeechapp.org/

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

The Parenting Reframe Podcast is edited by JAG Podcast Productions: https://jagpodcastproductions.com/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Raising Lions with Joe Newman May 10, 2023

Show notes

This was such a special episode for me to interview Joe Newman, author of Raising Lions. Joe tells us his story of growing up with ADHD and how he came to write his book. We discuss the importance of understanding connection and power. Joe discusses why boundaries are so important and how our past childhood experiences affect how we parent. We go over so much more in this jam-packed episode. This is not one you want to miss. I know there is so much you will take away from this episode.

What we go over with Joe Newman on Raising Lions:

Joe’s story about how he wrote his book Raising Lions and the work he does.
Why it is so important to understand connection and power with your child.
Why eggshell parenting isn’t helping with behavior - when the parent backs away from challenges and does anything not to have a tantrum.
The reason why strong-willed children need stronger boundaries.
Why you need to take parts of old school and new school parenting to actually make it work.
How giving too many choices is not helpful.
Why doing less is more helpful.
How Joe reframed timeouts to breaks.
Breaks - what they really are and how and when to use them.
Why no doesn’t mean no when you don’t set boundaries.
How to get kids to take breaks when they aren’t listening.
It takes time to undo children’s behaviors. It can sometimes take multiple experiences.
It’s always us, as parents, it’s so critical to understand the dynamic of how you are dealing with your child.
We are still at the beginning of understanding children. This requires stepping out of old paradigms and looking for what works for you and your child.
Ask yourself, is what you are currently doing working? And if not, what can you do to shift the lens on what you are doing?
Why ADHD children usually have sleep struggles.
Kids need different things, some need approval, and others need power.
Your child is not always seeking attention from you.
Look at your behavior and past experiences as a parent. This affects your child.
Children don’t learn cognitively first. They learn from experiences.

Learn more about Joe Newman - Raising Lions https://www.raisinglions.com/

Youtube Channel - https://www.youtube.com/@raising_lions

Bio - Joe Newman likes kids with attitude because he was one. In 1970 he was diagnosed with ADHD & medicated. His book, Raising Lions, is the culmination of a 30-year journey working with the most difficult kids and a desire to bring a new, more effective perspective to our educational institutions and families. He teaches parents and teachers simple, practical methods to understand and motivate all our children. In 2018 UCSB conducted a year-long study on how his method improved student behavior, motivation, and engagement in Pre-K through 6th-grade classrooms. He’s been a guest on Radio Andy (Andy Cohen), goop podcast, The Tools with Barry Michels, and many other podcasts. He’s spoken to audiences across the U.S., in Canada, Europe, Hong Kong, Bahrain, and Saudi Arabia. In 2020, Raising Lions reached number one in its category on Amazon.

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

The Parenting Reframe Podcast is edited by JAG Podcast Productions: https://jagpodcastproductions.com/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Inside a Parent Coaching Session Apr 26, 2023

Show notes

This is a special episode for me. I am doing a parent coaching session with one of my first clients. I have had a lot of requests about what the inside of a coaching session looks like, so this is an excellent way to let you all see how I work with my clients. We will review the challenges of getting a 3-year-old to sleep through the night and alone. We will also discuss how to handle an older sibling having issues with attention when they feel the younger sibling is receiving more attention.

What we go over in the live Parent Coaching Session:

Sleeping challenges with a 3-year-old
Do what is best for your family, co-sleeping or in their room.
Tip from Joe Newman, Raising Lions, how to handle “One more book.”
Dr. Becky from Good Inside says when kids struggle to sleep independently, it’s another part of separation anxiety.
Use of timers and limitations of what they are asking before bed.
Use baby steps when trying to get your child to go to bed by themself.
An unpopular opinion - for some kiddos, tv before bed is helpful.
Tips on setting the mood for bedtime.
How having a game plan is essential for success.
Why taking away nap time might help.
Look at how baths affect your kiddo; sometimes, they are more stimulating than relaxing.
How power struggles before bed can give kids more energy.
How to handle an older sibling struggling with the attention the younger sibling is getting.
Ways to make special connections with your kiddo needing more attention.

Resources:

Joe Newman - Raising Lions https://www.raisinglions.com/

Dr. Becky - https://www.goodinside.com/

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

The Parenting Reframe Podcast is edited by JAG Podcast Productions: https://jagpodcastproductions.com/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

My Child’s Behavior: Home vs. School Apr 12, 2023

Show notes

In this mini-episode, we are discussing two different sides of tantrums or behavior our kiddos have with school vs. home. I have received both sides of this question where the kiddo does great at home but not and school and vice versa. In this episode, I am guiding you like I would if we were doing 1:1 coaching to help you ask the right questions to see why this behavior is happening and how to help you navigate how to help with these.

We discuss why my child’s different behaviors are happening, home vs. school:

Guides to help with the different behaviors between home and school
Every child is different, so this is just a guide.
We go over children that don’t have tantrums at home but do at school.
Question to ask, what is your child’s school learning environment and teaching style? What challenges are there for your child, and are they being challenged enough?
Get the data on how they act at school; name it. And then see when it’s happening. This will require sitting with their teacher to better understand where it’s coming from.
Find out if your kiddo is having issues sharing closer to lunchtime or when they are more tired at the end of the day.
Consider adjusting bedtimes, adding more to their lunches, or maybe a snack is needed.
Get a plan in place to see about changing this behavior before labeling them bad.
Remember that kiddos are very accommodated at home; they don’t deal with wait times like at school.
I remind parents that the issues children are dealing with are challenging for them to communicate with us.
We must help our children build resilience, help them tolerate frustration, and develop problem-solving skills.
Question to ask, especially for parents of neurodivergent children, are they in a place where they will thrive, or are they just trying to survive?
Make sure to dig deeper into why the behavior is happening before putting all the blame on the school.
Remember that school, in general, is designed for kids to conform.
Why kids are acting up at home and not at school.
Kids see other kids conforming, which can be overwhelming for your kiddos to follow, so when they get home to their safe place, they feel safe to express what they need and let their guard down. This results in tantrums and bad behaviors.
It might be a good idea to see if there is a different class to help where it’s more your child’s speed.
It’s a compliment to you as a parent when your child has tantrums or expresses hard emotions. It indicates they feel comfortable at home to do this.
When a child acts up at home and not at school, it’s usually because they know the structure there. They can’t get away with it.
Think about your boundaries in your home. Are you setting them and holding them, or are you repeating yourself repeatedly?
Is there an agreement on parenting styles with your partner? If not, your child can be lost on what to do.
Kids need a predictable outcome from both parents, even if they don’t like it.
How are you connecting with your child throughout the day? Are you on your phone or computer when answering them? Are you asking them questions, being curious, and paying your full attention to them?
Make sure you are validating their feelings about the boundaries you are setting for them.
Look at the structure and routine of your home structure. If you have hectic mornings daily, this is setting your day up that way. Too much scheduled, too much snacking before bedtime, need to adjust bedtimes. Look at all these routines to see what you can help adjust to make it easier.
Every family’s situation is so different. You should not be overwhelmed every day. If you are, reach out for help; 1:1 coaching, check with your doctor, mom groups, or carve out time for yourself.

Resources:

I have 2 - 1: 1 coaching spots opening up at the end of April. You can book a free 15 min call to see if this would be a good fit for you and your family.https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/theparentingreframe_store/page/51536

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

The Parenting Reframe Podcast is edited by JAG Podcast Productions: https://jagpodcastproductions.com/

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