The Parenting Reframe

Latest Episodes:

Thriving in Co-Parenting with Mikki Gardner Jan 24, 2024

Show notes

In this episode, I sat down to talk with Mikki Gardner, author of the book The People Pleasers Guide to Co-Parenting Well. Mikki is a certified life, and conscious parenting coach committed to walking alongside moms post-divorce and separation. She wants to help moms parent their children in a calm, clear, and confident way regardless of what their co-parent is or is not doing. She uses tools and strategies to navigate this process that come from her own personal experiences. Mikki firmly believes that every parent has the opportunity to create a harmonious environment for their child.

What we go over with Mikki:

Moving out of the role as a fix-it parent and being able to sit in your own discomfort when it comes to challenges.
Using the 3 A’s (Awareness, Agency, and Aligned Action) to help put a stop to the blame game when dealing with an ex.
Stepping out of reactivity and stepping into response-ability to settle in and learn how to deal with feeling triggered.
Not “should-ing” the situation to avoid assumptions or expectations from ourselves or others including our kids and co-parents.
How to reframe our beliefs that our way is the right way to do things, especially in the context of co-parenting.
The focus of many co-parents on what they have to do in comparison to what their co-parent does or does not do and shifting to what you want your home and relationship with your children to look like.
Recognizing patterns to create a plan for a more peaceful co-parenting.
Realizing divorce has a grief process attached to it that requires compassion, time, and reflection.
Ways to calm your nervous system down in times of heightened stress or conflict.
How over- or under-functioning can occur because of a lack of trust in ourselves and how to build back that confidence in ourselves.

You can find Mikki on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/mikkigardner

And on her website https://www.mikkigardner.com/

You can also check out her podcast, Co-Parenting With Confidence: https://www.mikkigardner.com/podcast

Check out the Team Supercrew book set: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BZZ1938R/

For more insight into parenting in today’s world, be sure to subscribe to my Substack: https://www.albiona.substack.com

And be sure to follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe and Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe for more parenting tips and advice.

The Parenting Reframe Podcast is edited by JAG Podcast Productions: https://jagpodcastproductions.com/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Raising Strong Willed Kids Jan 10, 2024

Show notes

Happy 2024! This is the first episode of the new year and I’m so excited to be back with you. In this episode, I am talking all about raising strong willed kids. I feel so passionately about this topic that I am doing a group coaching program starting this month all about how to raise strong willed kids more effectively. The reality of the situation is conventional parenting advice just isn’t that effective when it comes to parenting a strong willed kid. Parents of strong willed kids seek out advice or methods to make their lives better and more manageable. However, the results of trying these conventional tactics leave them feeling defeated or scrambling for other ideas of what to do next. Here are just some of the topics related to raising strong willed kids that you won’t want to miss:

Giving Choices

There’s nothing wrong with giving choices but the advice is over-given to the point where it isn’t useful anymore.
Too many choices is the opposite of what a strong willed child wants.
Strong willed kids want to feel like they’re the ones in charge.
When there are too many options, they begin to feel scared, out of control, and everything feels overwhelming.
Who is the safe person? Where is the boundary?
They are looking for stability and for someone else to be in power with them.
Strong willed kids value power over approval.

Setting Boundaries

With strong willed kids, boundaries have to be clear with clear actions or consequences when the boundary is broken.
We cannot rely on a lot of language or explanations because strong willed kids are smart. Explanations won’t change the outcome or the behavior.
You must hold the boundary for an extended period of time. On average, we give up trying after three attempts at a new method without a “positive” result.
We associate dysregulation with something not working in our parenting and change our method or use fear-based tactics.

Staying Calm

A dysregulated child will not calm down with a dysregulated adult. The biggest thing you can do is stay calm when your child is struggling or having a big outburst.
A calm parent will help a child calm down ten times faster than a dysregulated parent.
When the parent is dysregulated, the strong willed child’s negative emotions are either rewarded or completely shut down and do not learn how to process hard emotions.
We want to help our kids be able to sit with their emotions.

Here are the details on January Group Coaching:

Group coaching is limited to a small group of only 10 people to help build connection and lean on one another. The goal is to grow a community where you feel supported and connected to other parents going through the same things as you.
I’ll give you real tools to implement in your home. It’s a hands-on approach to help you learn new methods for parenting your strong willed child.
There will be four sessions that meet once a week for one month.

Resources:

If you would like to do my 2 month 1:1 coaching with me to get a custom road map on how best to tune into your child’s needs, book a free call to see if we are a good fit. https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/theparentingreframe_store/page/51536

Be sure to sign up for my Substack newsletter for longer and more specialized parenting content: https://albiona.substack.com/

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

Follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe

The Parenting Reframe Podcast is edited by JAG Podcast Productions: https://jagpodcastproductions.com/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

All About Parenting Coaching Dec 06, 2023

Show notes

This is the last episode of 2023 (can you even believe it?!) and I am so completely filled with gratitude for every single one of you who have grown my community this year. In this episode, I am talking all about coaching. I get a lot of questions in my social media DMs and my email inbox about what I offer as a coach and how the process works. I didn’t plan on becoming a parenting coach but once I started leaning into it and taking on one-to-one clients, my passion for coaching really expanded.

What one-on-one coaching looks like:

Over a two-month period, you receive 5, one hour calls over Zoom.
Calls are every other week so you have the opportunity to practice the tools we talk about.
You have full texting access to me in real time over the course of 2 months. I can walk you through scenarios that come up between calls in real time.
This process is very hands-on. I want you to be fully supported throughout our two months together.
This is a completely judgment-free zone. It’s a safe space; don’t hold back on your thoughts and feelings.

Some of the things we cover in one-on-one coaching:

Unpacking the root causes and looking at the strategies we will put in place.
How do we move from a reactive place to a responsive place?
How to meet our kids' needs while working on ourselves.
Things you don’t find in a parenting book like reparenting tools and mindfulness.
Working on dismantling societal and cultural expectations to make the best choices for yourself and your family.

Group coaching is returning in January! Here are some of the benefits of group coaching:

More affordable pricing
Meets once a week for a month - four sessions total.
Themed sessions like gaining cooperation while simultaneously gaining connection.
You’re surrounded by other parents who are in your shoes.
Groups are capped at 10 people to create a small, well-connected group where I can offer the most support.

Coming up in 2024:

Group coaching for parents of teens and tweens. How to connect, how to parent, and how to reparent yourself if you’re struggling with your teen or tween.
More webinars coming in 2024 as well!

As always, I offer a free 20-minute discovery call to see if coaching is right for you. If you’re not quite ready to sign up for a group or one-on-one coaching, set up a time to talk with me about your needs and find out how I can help you.

Resources:

If you would like to do my 8-week 1:1 coaching with me to get a custom road map on how best to tune into your child’s needs, book a free call to see if we are a good fit. https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/theparentingreframe_store/page/51536

Check out my free PARR Workshop download with tons of great tools and resources: https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/free-parr-workshop-download

Be sure to sign up for my Substack newsletter for longer and more specialized parenting content: https://albiona.substack.com/

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

Follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe

The Parenting Reframe Podcast is edited by JAG Podcast Productions: https://jagpodcastproductions.com/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Making Mistakes Without Fear Nov 22, 2023

Show notes

This is a mini-episode where we talk all about helping our kids feel comfortable with making mistakes. Many of us have kids that are absolutely terrified of making even small mistakes in all kinds of situations. Tasks without a clear outcome, the possibility of there being a wrong answer, or simply being incorrect might lead your child to feel terribly, lash out, or become combative. When we take a wider look, we need to examine how we as parents feel about making mistakes. In this short episode, I go over the three pillars of how fear of making mistakes is created in kids and ways to help them get over these fears.

The 3 Pillars for Combatting The Fear of Making Mistakes:

1. How do you as an adult feel when you make a mistake?

Kids sense and feel more than they see and hear.
Think of the way your energy changes when you hear you’ve done something incorrectly.
Kids pick up on this and are tuned into your energy - tone of voice changes, lack of excitement, etc. This is especially true when they are a deeply feeling or highly empathetic child.
Talk through it out loud with your child to see the positive end to the mistake and walk them through the process of how you’re feeling in the moment and how to feel better.
Don’t be afraid to admit you don’t have all the answers in the moment!

2. How much space do you leave for your kids to make a mistake?

This is really important for kids who don’t like making mistakes and have an adverse reaction to it.
We as parents try to save our kids from making mistakes because we don’t like to see our kids struggling.
When you see the struggle happening, let it happen even though it’s hard.
Your kids need the experience of making mistakes. By doing this, they will be able to feel what it’s like to make the mistake, learn how to work through it, and ultimately learn that it’s okay to make mistakes.
Consider this: where is the perception of being right all the time getting in the way? Do you feel your child always has to be correct at school, a sport, etc.?

3. You want to be cognizant of how you treat other people when they make mistakes.

The way you behave in public situations like at a store or restaurant when someone makes a mistake is incredibly important. Your kids are perceiving the way you react to people making mistakes.
Many times it happens the most between couples with everyday tasks. Sighing, rolling your eyes, and how we communicate between each other when mistakes happen can signal to your child how they might be treated when they make a mistake.
You are their safety net and where they learn morals and values. Even in the safest environment, what does it look like when mistakes happen and how does the reaction come out?
It’s in the subtle ways we react that kids notice the most.

It won’t happen overnight, but with small changes over time to the way you perceive and make mistakes as the parent, you will see sustainable and lasting change with your kids in the way they view mistakes as well.

Resources:

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

Follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

The Parenting Reframe Podcast is edited by JAG Podcast Productions: https://jagpodcastproductions.com/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Igniting Your Passions with Kelsey Murphy Nov 08, 2023

Show notes

In this episode, I sat down to chat with Kelsey Murphy, a dear friend of mine. She is a business coach who helps people start their own coaching/consulting businesses. She teaches coaches how to discover their passions and positively impact people’s lives. When I first considered coaching parents, I reached out to Kelsey Murphy for more insight because I loved her energy. She has so many great tips and information about how to get started on your own business ventures as a mom.

What we talk about with Kelsey:

Balancing motherhood with your personal and/or career interests.
Reflecting on your own expectations and comparing them to what you want and need in your present season of life.
How to get over the hurdle of deciding how to start a business while managing the mental load of motherhood.
Shifting your mindset from “I can’t” to “I can.”
Holding boundaries and being intentional about your time.
Leaning into the excitement you feel for certain ideas and building it into your long-term future and values.
Managing feelings of mom guilt in the midst of working towards your own goals and fostering excitement for things you want to do.
Reframing our ideas of what motherhood looks like for ourselves in the present moment as compared to how we were parented.

Where to find Kelsey:

Her website: www.Kelseymurphy.com

Or on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kelseymurphy/

Resources mentioned in this episode:

To Be Magnetic by Lacy Phillips - https://tobemagnetic.com/

For more parenting advice, check out my website www.theparentingreframe.com

And be sure to follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe

and Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe for more parenting tips and advice.

The Parenting Reframe Podcast is edited by JAG Podcast Productions: https://jagpodcastproductions.com/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Reframing Parenting with Faten Saad Oct 25, 2023

Show notes

In this episode, I had the pleasure to chat with Faten Saad, a social worker, mom of three, and my personal friend. Faten is the founder of Authentically at Peace, a social media platform, where she is dedicated to helping women through mental health issues and parenting struggles. She shares her insights about reframing parenting, how multigenerational trauma can affect the way we parent, and how she uses Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to help her clients and all moms reconsider the way they parent today.

What we go over with Faten:

The overwhelm of parenting and how it’s attributed to nervous system dysregulation.
How trauma presents in a parent’s journey and how to reframe those thoughts.
Reflecting on the way we were parented and how generational trauma can be passed down and affect the way we parent today.
Creating awareness around intergenerational trauma and realizing smaller events may have caused trauma.
Having compassion for yourself when you’re reparenting yourself.
Taking feelings of blame and shame and looking at them from a place of curiosity rather than judgment in order to feel validation for your emotions.
Grounding yourself as a parent when your child’s behaviors or emotions make you uncomfortable and allowing them the space and support to work through those feelings.
Labeling children’s attributes limits the ways we can parent them “terrible twos”
What setting boundaries look like for different types of parents and finding a middle ground.
Common cognitive behavioral therapy tools parents can use in their everyday lives.

Faten’s resources:

Dr. Gabor Matte - https://drgabormate.com/
Dr. Nicole LePera - https://www.instagram.com/the.holistic.psychologist/?hl=en
Dr. Shefali - The Conscious Parent - https://www.drshefali.com/the-conscious-parent/
Patrick Teahan Therapy - https://www.instagram.com/patrickteahantherapy/?hl=en

You can find Faten on TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@authenticallyatpeace

and on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/authentically_atpeace/

She provides resources to positively impact moms through their parenting journey.

For more information about reframing parenting, check out my free PARR Webinar https://stan.store/theparentingreframe/p/free-parr-workshop-download

And be sure to follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theparentingreframe and Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe for more parenting tips and advice.

The Parenting Reframe Podcast is edited by JAG Podcast Productions: https://jagpodcastproductions.com/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

On Our Best Behavior with Elise Loehnen Oct 11, 2023

Show notes

In this episode we discuss her book, On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and The Price Women Pay to Be Good. It was a dream come true for me to interview New York Times Bestselling Author Elise Loehnen. In this episode we discuss her book, On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and The Price Women Pay to Be Good. Elise discusses how her childhood, interactions in her professional and personal life as an adult, and working with her therapist inspired the idea for this book. We take a look at the ways women police themselves and others in order to be perceived as good and nice rather than mad, mean, or angry. This insightful and thought-provoking episode will leave you asking questions about the way you interact with the world around you. You won’t want to miss this one!

What we talk about with Elise Loehnen on On Our Best Behavior:

The reasons why women are coded for niceness and men are coded for power.
How women use high achievement to try and attain a place of security.
Patriarchy and how it shows up depending on gender in different ways.
What are the codes of goodness?
Why the seven deadly sins cause women to conform to the societal requirement for niceness.
How envy comes up in subtle ways when talking about other women and is the gateway to all of the other sins.
The ties between the different sins and how they can compound issues or feelings towards others.
Scarcity and the feelings of anxiety when others have or do what we want.
Denying our wants and desires instead of owning them.
What goodness looks like as a mom and how many moms get in their own way as a parent while trying to reach an unattainable goal.
How we parent kids is affecting their ability to be creative, imaginative, manage being lonely or bored
Why girls are more likely to mask and conform at young ages compared to boys of the same age.
Raising daughters with the duality of good work ethic and being gentle and kind with yourself.

Learn more about Elise Loehnen - https://www.eliseloehnen.com/

Get the book - On Our Best Behavior by Elise Loehnen

Follow Elise on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/eliseloehnen/

Subscribe to Elise’s newsletter, Pulling the Thread, on Substack - https://eliseloehnen.substack.com/

Pulling the Thread Podcast - https://chartable.com/podcasts/pulling-the-thread-with-elise-loehnen

About Elise:

Elise Loehnen Fissmer is a writer and editor living in Los Angeles with her husband, Rob, and their sons, Max and Sam. She is the host of Pulling the Thread podcast, where she interviews cultural luminaries on the big questions of the day. She’s co-written 12 books, including five New York Times Best Sellers. Her first book under her own name, On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good, was also an instant New York Times bestseller. She’s held many other titles including the chief content officer of goop, editorial projects director of Condé Nast Travelereditor, and deputy editor of Lucky Magazine. These days, she spends her time writing, reading, consulting, doing board work, and fundraising for causes and politicians focused on environmental action, social justice, women and children’s health, and a more equitable world.

Resources:

I hope you found this episode insightful. For more conversations about motherhood and parenting, be sure to subscribe to my newsletter: https://albiona.substack.com/

Follow me on Instagram and TikTok: @theparentingreframe

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

The Parenting Reframe Podcast is edited by JAG Podcast Productions: https://jagpodcastproductions.com/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

How to Handle Separation Anxiety Sep 27, 2023

Show notes

Separation anxiety is a normal part of childhood, but it can be difficult for both parents and children to handle. It's important to reframe separation anxiety as an opportunity to teach your child important life skills, such as how to manage their emotions and cope with change. When you approach separation anxiety with compassion and understanding, you're helping your child to develop a strong sense of security and trust.

Ways to Help Separation Anxiety

Create a goodbye ritual. This could be something as simple as giving your child a hug, kiss, and telling them you'll be back soon.
Practice short separations. Start by leaving your child for a few minutes at a time and gradually increase the length of the separations.
Talk to your child about their fears. Let them know that it's okay to feel anxious, and that you'll be there for them when they need you.
Reassure your child that you'll always come back.
Make sure your child has a trusted caregiver when you're away.
Be patient and understanding. Separation anxiety can be difficult for both parents and children. It's important to remember that your child is not trying to be difficult. They are simply expressing their love for you and their fear of being away from you.
Be consistent. Try to stick to the same goodbye ritual and separation schedule each day. This will help your child to feel more secure and predictable.
Be positive. Try to focus on the positive aspects of separation, such as the fun things your child will do while you're away.
This is a way to teach your children that you, as a parent, have a life of your own as well. You shouldn’t feel guilty for this.

Resources:

I hope you found this episode helpful; for more parenting tips, check out my website and blog for more information. https://theparentingreframe.com/

Make sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get other free resources. https://theparentingreframe.com/free-resources/

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theparentingreframe/

If you would like a personalized approach to help reframe how you parent, check out my coaching options https://theparentingreframe.com/parent-coaching-packages/

The Parenting Reframe Podcast is edited by JAG Podcast Productions: https://jagpodcastproductions.com/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Reframing Education with Ana Lorena Fabrega Sep 13, 2023

Show notes

In this episode, I am had the pleasure to have Ana Lorena Fabrega, the author of the book "The Learning Game" on and talk about how she is reframing education. Ana is an edupreneur and writer who is passionate about rethinking education. She shares her insights on the current state of education, the skills kids need for the future, and how parents can help their kids thrive in school.

What we go over with Ana on Reframing Education:

The traditional school system is not preparing kids for the future.
Kids need to learn how to think critically, solve problems, and be creative.
Parents can help their kids learn by providing them with opportunities to explore their interests and by being their biggest cheerleaders.
There are many alternative educational options available, such as homeschooling, online learning, and microschools.
Talk to your kids about their interests and how you can help them learn.
Find an alternative educational option that is right for your family.

Bio:

Ana Lorena Fabrega is an edupreneur, writer, and Chief Evangelist at Synthesis. Growing up, she attended ten schools in seven different countries. She then earned her BS in Childhood Education and Special Education from New York University and taught elementary school in New York, Boston, and Panama. Today, Ana Lorena, known by her students as Ms. Fab, writes online to over 200,000 readers about the promise of alternative education. You can follow her on Twitter at @anafabrega11

Read Ana's book "The Learning Game" https://afabrega.com/

Visit the Synthesis website to learn more about their online school.

https://www.synthesis

The Parenting Reframe Podcast is edited by JAG Podcast Productions: https://jagpodcastproductions.com/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Parenting Tools to Help Be a Better Parent Aug 30, 2023

Show notes

In the latest episode, we are are going over parenting tools to be a better parent. I’m talking to reactive parents who are looking for a better way to navigate their day. My 4-step process PARR (pause, acknowledge, respond, reflect) is what I taught myself and ultimately other parents to move from reactive to responsive. I share personal examples and use this minisode to highlight the important aspects to PARR.

What I cover on the parenting tools to be a better parent

- The importance of recognizing why you’re reactive
- Identifying your triggers will help you to stay calm
- The first step of PARR, pausing, will look different depending on the phase of parenting you’re in
- How to decide the best way to pause
- Pausing and then acknowledging your state will shift the way you respond
- Reflecting is critical and you want to do it when you’ve had time away from the event
- PARR is effective with all communication partners not just your kids
- It can help you to become a better listener and more thoughtful in the way you show up not just for your kids but others

Link’s mentioned in the show:
You can book a free call here to learn more about coaching and how PARR can help you
The Free PARR download
Other Parenting Resources
Subscribe to my Substack Newsletter

The Parenting Reframe Podcast is edited by JAG Podcast Productions: https://jagpodcastproductions.com/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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