Stay ConnectedAn award-winning, critically acclaimed mockumentary podcast that follows fictional Premier League club Ashwood City FC.
‘The Thick of it meets Fifa career mode – a must listen for football fans’ – The Guardian
‘Ultra-sharp satire’ – GQ
This podcast is a serial, begin at Episode 1.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Wembley Stadium plays host to Leicester City v Ashwood City in the FA Cup Semi-Final. A government approved test event has allocated seats for 4,000 supporters inside the 90,000 seater.
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall
Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
Rhys Tees as Frank Finnan
Kelly Somers as Herself
Additional Voices:
Joel Emery
Episode written by:
Joel Emery
Edited by:
Adam Jarrell
Directed by:
Adam Jarrell
Executive Producer:
Joel Emery
With thanks to:
The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders
WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.
This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.
Listener discretion is advised.
The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Ashwood City Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan is losing his grip on his position at the club as Anaheim Sports Group have accepted the offer from Harvey Simms. With the deal underway, all Patrick has to work with is a name... 'Bohai'.
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall
Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
Ramone Dale-Cruickshank as Harvey Simms
John Brannoch as Colin Walsh
Esmonde Cole as KFC
Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton
Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison
Additional Voices:
Joel Emery
Episode written by:
Joel Emery
Edited by:
Adam Jarrell & Joel Emery
Directed by:
Adam Jarrell
Executive Producer:
Joel Emery
With thanks to:
The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders
WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.
This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.
Listener discretion is advised.
The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Ashwood City face Manchester City in matchweek 30 of the Premier League. As the domestic season looks to be a fairly quiet one on the pitch for the Kent side; off the pitch the bidding process is in disarray as Harvey Simms and the Ashwood City Supporters' Trust turn up the pressure on Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan.
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall
Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
John Brannoch as Colin Walsh
Rhys Tees as Frank Finnan
Additional Voices:
Joel Emery
Episode written by:
Joel Emery
Edited by:
Adam Jarrell & Joel Emery
Directed by:
Adam Jarrell
Executive Producer:
Joel Emery
Music featured: 'Gravitated' by Edgar Hopp
With thanks to:
The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders
WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.
This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.
Listener discretion is advised.
The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Ashwood City Chief Executive Patrick Nolan, Head of Communications Jess Tate and Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall enlist the help of the Ashwood City faithful to try and lift morale and improve the club's dreadful home form. Meanwhile, The Ashwood City Supporters' Trust gains momentum.
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall
Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
John Brannoch as Colin Walsh
Additional Voices:
Jennifer Tierney
Joel Emery
Rhys Tees
Adam Alexander
Episode written by:
Joel Emery & Adam Jarrell
Edited by:
Adam Jarrell
Directed by:
Adam Jarrell
Executive Producer:
Joel Emery
With thanks to:
The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders
WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.
This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.
Listener discretion is advised.
The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The long-awaited tribunal finally sees Kyle Francis-Clarke and The Professional Footballers' Association take on Chris 'Woody' Woodall and Colin Walsh of Ashwood City Football Club.
Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall
John Brannoch as Colin Walsh
Jennifer Tierney as Hannah Ingram QC
Esmonde Cole as KFC
Thomas Mitchells as Judge Philip Gray
Episode written by:
Joel Emery
Edited by:
Adam Jarrell
Directed by:
Adam Jarrell
Executive Producer:
Joel Emery
With thanks to:
The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders
WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.
This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.
Listener discretion is advised.
The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan's fantasy football team is suffering following his failure to pick up on insider knowledge from Ashwood City. His resolve is tested further as Head of Football Operations Colin Walsh uncovers the legal threat posed by the impending litigation from injured forward Kyle Francis-Clarke.
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
John Brannoch as Colin Walsh
Esmonde Cole as KFC
Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton
Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall
Additional voices:
Danny Jamieson
Nalan Burgess
Episode written by:
Joel Emery
Edited by:
Joel Emery
Executive Producer:
Joel Emery
With thanks to:
The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders
WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.
This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.
Listener discretion is advised.
The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
A brawl amongst the playing and coaching staff of Ashwood City and Tottenham Hotspur takes place post-match at the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium. Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan is desperate not only to partake in the Skywalk with Daniel Levy but also to take centre stage in diffusing the tension.
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton
Ramone Dale-Cruickshank as Harvey Simms
Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall
Episode written by:
Joel Emery
Edited by:
Joel Emery
Executive Producer:
Joel Emery
With thanks to:
The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders
WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.
This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.
Listener discretion is advised.
The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Coronavirus has struck down the Ashwood City hierarchy as Patrick Nolan, Jess Tate, Alex Morrison and Chris 'Woody' Woodall are all forced into isolation. As the PFA case of Kyle Francis-Clarke begins, Patrick takes on local small businesses and Harvey Simms... all while battling severe COVID symptoms.
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall
Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison
Additional voices by
Rachel Teate
Episode written by:
Joel Emery
Edited by:
Joel Emery
Executive Producer:
Joel Emery
With thanks to:
The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders
WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.
This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.
Listener discretion is advised.
The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
A dramatic 1-0 victory over Arsenal at Dartley Park has sparked outrage among the football community as the use of a ballboy - prohibited under COVID-19 protocol - was instrumental in the winning goal. To add to Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan's woes; Dr. Rachel Webber is taking action against the medical impropriety and mishandling of injured star KFC by Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall and Head of Football Operations Colin Walsh.
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall
Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr. Rachel Webber
John Brannoch as Colin Walsh
Additional voices by:
Luke Stevenson
Episode written by:
Joel Emery
Edited by:
Joel Emery
Executive Producer:
Joel Emery
With thanks to:
The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders
WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.
This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.
Listener discretion is advised.
The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Ashwood City are in midweek Premier League action against Manchester United. Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan however is at the whim of owners Anaheim Sports Group and is tasked with hosting prospective buyer and potential successor Harvey Simms. With the Sky Sports' cameras awaiting the big game and a glimpse of Harvey; Patrick has a plan...
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
Ramône Dale-Cruickshank as Harvey Simms
Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison
Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall
Additional voices by
Jonny Blain
Joel Emery
Episode written by:
Joel Emery
Edited by:
Joel Emery
Executive Producer:
Joel Emery
With thanks to The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders
WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.
This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.
Listener discretion is advised.
The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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