Stay ConnectedAn award-winning, critically acclaimed mockumentary podcast that follows fictional Premier League club Ashwood City FC.
‘The Thick of it meets Fifa career mode – a must listen for football fans’ – The Guardian
‘Ultra-sharp satire’ – GQ
This podcast is a serial, begin at Episode 1.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
On the final day of the January Transfer Window news comes to light that recent signing Kelvin Reid has had intimate relations with the wife of club veteran; Marco Nipic.
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton
Ray Strasser-King as Kelvin Reid
John Brannoch as Colin Walsh
Alberto Iriarte as Beñat 'Benny' Bengoetxea
Episode written by:
Joel Emery
Edited by:
Joel Emery
Executive Producer:
Joel Emery
With thanks to:
The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders
WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.
This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.
Listener discretion is advised
The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan and Head of Communications Jess Tate require negative COVID-19 test results ahead of Deadline Day at Ashwood City Football Club.
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
Additional Voices:
Rachel Teate
Thomas Mitchells
Joel Emery
Episode written by:
Joel Emery
Edited by:
Joel Emery
Episode directed by:
Helena Doughty & Paul Waggott
Executive Producer:
Joel Emery
With thanks to:
The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders
WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.
This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.
Listener discretion is advised.
The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The new regime under Sven-Göran Eriksson has provided a much needed impetus for Ashwood City Football Club. The turn of fortunes even reflects onto the Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan as he secures a rare appearance on a dedicated Ashwood supporters' podcast feed.
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
John Brannoch as Colin Walsh
Sven-Goran Eriksson as Himself
Alberto Iriarte as Beñat 'Benny' Bengoetxea
Additional Voices:
Nalan Burgess
Joel Emery
Episode written by:
Joel Emery
Edited by:
Joel Emery
Executive Producer:
Joel Emery
With thanks to:
The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders
WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.
This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Ashwood City Football Club look to complete the signing of Sven-Goran Eriksson as Head Coach.
In Loving Memory of beautiful Lucinda.
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton
Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison
Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall
Additional Voices:
Joel Emery
Directed by:
Joel Emery & Adam Jarrell
Episode written by:
Joel Emery & Adam Jarrell
Edited by:
Joel Emery
Executive Producer:
Joel Emery
With thanks to:
The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders
WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.
This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.
Listener discretion is advised.
The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The Tottenham victory seals Ashwood City's 4-straight league win under Interim Head Coach Matt Jansen. Former player and businessman, now turned Ashwood City agitator; Harvey Simms has enacted shareholder protocol to demand a meeting between Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan and the highly regarded Jansen... Meanwhile in Scandinavia; Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall attempts to recruit his successor.
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall
Ramone Dale-Cruickshank as Harvey Simms
Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton
Additional Voices:
Joel Emery
Directed by:
Adam Jarrell
Episode written by:
Joel Emery
Edited by:
Joel Emery & Adam Jarrell
Executive Producer:
Joel Emery
With thanks to:
The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders
WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.
This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.
Listener discretion is advised.
The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
On a fiercely windy day in Kent, Ashwood City host Tottenham Hotspur after a run of 3-straight victories under Interim Head Coach Matt Jansen. With Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan and Head of Communications Jess Tate in attendance; Croatian defender Dario Babic suffers a dangerous injury on the field.
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr Rachel Webber
Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison
Additional Voices:
Joel Emery
Adam Jarrell
Directed by:
Adam Jarrell
Episode written by:
Joel Emery
Edited by:
Adam Jarrell & Joel Emery
Executive Producer:
Joel Emery
With thanks to:
The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders
WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.
This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.
Listener discretion is advised.
The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Chief Player Liaison Officer Theo Clinton has unexpectedly been exposed as the individual behind the Ashwood City email hacks. Chief Executive Patrick Nolan looks to resolve, understand and ultimately exploit his motives.
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton
Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr Rachel Webber
Rachel Teate as Dame Georgina Pitt
Additional Voices:
Joel Emery
Nalan Burgess
Directed by:
Adam Jarrell
Episode written by:
Joel Emery
Edited by:
Joel Emery
Executive Producer:
Joel Emery
With thanks to:
The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders
WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.
This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.
Listener discretion is advised.
The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The international break has concluded and Premier League action returns. Ashwood City travel to Newcastle United as Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan is looking to recover from a difficult couple of weeks following his disastrous appearance in Prague...
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall
John Brannoch as Colin Walsh
Additional Voices:
Joel Emery
Directed by:
Adam Jarrell
Episode written by:
Joel Emery
Edited by:
Joel Emery
Executive Producer:
Joel Emery
With thanks to:
The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders
WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.
This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.
Listener discretion is advised.
The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan is under intense pressure as a potential rival has emerged for the much coveted 30% ownership of Ashwood City Football Club. His frustrations and ego are relieved however, with the news of a career achievement recognition from the footballing community.
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Ramone Dale-Cruickshank as Harvey Simms
Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall
Rachel Teate as Dame Georgina Pitt
Additional Voices:
Joel Emery
Directed by:
Adam Jarrell
Episode written by:
Joel Emery
Edited by:
Adam Jarrell
Executive Producer:
Joel Emery
With thanks to:
The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders
WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.
This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.
Listener discretion is advised.
The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Following an away defeat to Wolverhampton Wanderers, Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall finds himself as an unwilling chauffeur to Head of Communications Jess Tate, as they make their way to the Ashwood City Halloween Party.
Helena Doughty as Jess Tate
Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall
Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan
Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison
Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton
Rachel Teate as Dame Georgina Pitt
Directed by:
Adam Jarrell
Episode written by:
Joel Emery
Edited by:
Adam Jarrell
Executive Producer:
Joel Emery
With thanks to:
The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders
WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.
This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.
Listener discretion is advised.
The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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