The Messy Bun Podcast

Latest Episodes:

079 - Teen Driving Nov 29, 2021

Show notes

Teens learning to drive is a parent's best dream and worst nightmare! It's the BEST when we don't have to drive them to and from every activity, but it's SO SCARY. I mean, their brains are not fully developed, and we're putting them in charge of a lethal machine. Yikes!

This week we talk about the steps to getting a driver's license, as well as how to keep your risk-taking teen a little safer.

Steps to getting a license
Scary statistics
How to help your teen drive more safely

Resources:

Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia, Teen Driver Source
Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia, Teen Driving Plan
Learner Permit, Zero Fatalities
9 Free Apps to Help Your Students Pass Their Driving Exam, Driving School
Jane E. Brody, Helping Teenagers to Be Safer Drivers, NY Times
Keep Teen Drivers Safe, CDC
Safe Vehicles for Teens, IIHS
Parent-Teen Driving Agreement, Health Children Org
Teen’s Biggest Safety Threat is Sitting on the Driveway, NSC,
Driving Restrictions for Teen Driver’s By Age in Utah, Utah Gov

078 - Holidays Nov 22, 2021

Show notes

As we head into the winter season, we want to talk with our daughters about winter holidays that are celebrated all over the world. Since we come from a Christian background, we decided to focus on other winter holidays besides Christmas. Come join us as we talk about the history, traditions, and messages of each of these holidays. AND, we take up a notch from there and also discuss why our teens need to be exposed to all different cultural traditions. Don't miss it!

Winter Holidays Besides Christmas
- Hanukkah
- Winter Solstice
- Kwanzaa
- Bodhi Day
- Diwali
Why we should care about holidays besides our own
How to be respectful of all cultural holidays

Resources:

Hanukkah, Chabad.org
Winter Solstice, history.com
Winter Solstice, rd.com
Kwanzaa, Official Kwanzaa Website
Kwanzaa, History.com
Bodhi Day, npr.org
Bodhi Day, Learn Religions
Diwali, Kids National Geographic
Jamie Farnsworth Finn, Teachings Teens to Respect Diversity, Today
Michelle Crouch, Teaching Diversity to Your Kids, Parenting
Amy L. Eva, 5 Ways to Help Teens Think Beyond Themselves, Greater Good (Berkeley)
Kathy Sisson, How to Talk to Kids About Cultural Appropriation, The Every Mom
Arlin Cuncic, What Is Cultural Appropriation, VeryWell

077 - Moodiness Nov 15, 2021

Show notes

How have we not had this conversation before now?! Why are teenagers sooooo moody! And what in the world can we do about it?

Join us this week as we have this conversation.

Why teens are so moody (hint: it's all the brain!)
How to tell the difference between moodiness and a bigger problem
What to do about the moodiness.

This is a great conversation to have with your daughter - she doesn't like being moody either! Help her understand what's going on.

Resources:

Dr. Janet Sasson Edgette, Have a Moody Teenager?
Barbara Poncelet, Very Well Family - Why Teens are Moody (medically review by Ann-Louis Lockhart @dr.annlouise.lockhart)
Nikhil Swaminathan, Whatever!: Hormonal Reversal During Puberty Keeps Teens Totally Anxious, Scientific American
Eliminate WMDs, YouTube
Moodiness vs. Depression, Dr. Thomas Conover on The Scope (U of U podcast)
Katie Bingham Smith, Grown & Flown
Elsa Vulliamy, Why are Teenagers So Moody? Independent
Gia Millar, Is My Teen Depressed or Moody? PsychCentral
YouTube Video from ASAP Science
Debbie Pincus, MS LMHC, 7 Ways to Deal With, Empowering Parents
Want to Add Years to Your Life? Stop Complaining. Aha Parenting.

076 - Codependency Nov 08, 2021

Show notes

This episode was painful to record for both of us because we saw ourselves in so many of the characteristics of someone who is at-risk for being codependent! Yikes! Hopefully, because of what we've learned, we can help our girls (and ourselves!) be aware of codependency in relationships and avoid the problems that come with it. Yay for helping our daughters be better than we are!

Where codependency shows up
Characteristics of someone who is at-risk for codependent relationships
What to do if you see signs of codependency

Resources:

Parenting a Troubled Teen? Understanding Codependency, Solutions Treatment Center
Raychelle Cassada Lohmann, PhD, Codependency in Children, Psychology Today
Codependency, Next Generation Village: Teen Drug and Alcohol Rehab
Margaret Paul, PhD, 7 Signs You're in a Codependent Relationship and Why It's Unhealthy, Mind Body Green
Kim Wong-Shing, 8 Signs of a Codependent Friendship and What to Do About It, Mind Body Green
Sponsor (Life Success for Teens) Website, Instagram, Facebook

075 - Self-Love with Lindsay Law Nov 01, 2021

Show notes

It can be hard to have self-love as a teen. Between body changes, mean peers at school, and social media, our teens are bombarded with a million messages that make them question their worth. It can feel impossible to know how to help them! That's why we loved the chat we had with Lindsay Law about this topic. She gives GREAT advice on how to talk with your daughter about this tricky topic! Listen in!

The brain and self-love
Validating emotions and self-love
Failure and self-love

Resources for working with Lindsay:

Connect with me for coaching, or for my freebie Unlocking the Confidence Within for teens and tweens at www.youthrisingcoach.com 30 Days of Brave Free Challenge for teens and tweens- Be supported for 30 days to turn fear into confidence. Hear from amazing guest speakers. Learn to be kind to yourself no matter what happens. Whether it's talking to the new boy at school, asking for help with your math, or trying out for the school play, I can help you make it a reality. Join now! You can participate live, through chat or even on your own with the workbook. Create your brave, your way! Register at www.youthrisingcoach.com/brave If you're looking for a way to connect with your daughter and learn together how to gain confidence and be more kind to yourselves, my virtual/hands-on mother daughter retreat is for you. There will be 3 short zoom workshops throughout the day interspersed with connecting activities that you choose. Register at www.youthrisingcoach.com/online-retreat Youth Rising YouTube Channel I put out a weekly video on topics from friends to confidence and self love to a little bit of geeky brain science to help teens learn to create their best life. Follow me on IG for tips for parents and teens on using your brain for you, instead of against you. @youthrisingcoach https://www.instagram.com/youthrisingcoach/

074 - Headaches Oct 25, 2021

Show notes

Unfortunately, headaches can be a big part of a teen's life. Whether your daughter has an occasional headache or struggles with them frequently, this is the episode for you!

We talk all about why teens get headaches, the different kinds of headaches and how they're treated, and resources that are available for kids that have headaches that impact their school life.

Resources used for the episode:

Headaches in Children and Teens, News-Medical article by Dr. Damien Jonas Wilson, MD here
Don't ignore Migraines in Teenagers, WebMD here
What is causing my teenager's migraine, and what can we do to solve it? Virginia Spine Institute here
Early puberty in girls may be 'big bang theory for migraine, Science Daily here
Important Information for Teens Who Get Headaches, All-Star Pediatrics here
Migraineatschool.org
Teenagers and Headaches, familydoctor.org here
Genetics and Migraine, The Migraine Trust here
The Possible Link Between Your Headache and Your Toothache, by Colleen Doherty, MD for verywellhealth here
Blue Light and Digital Eye Strain by Daniel Porter, American Academy of Ophthalmology here

073 - ADHD Oct 18, 2021

Show notes

ADHD can be frustrating for parents AND teens. This week we dive into the ADHD brain - we talk about the hard AND the good! - and we give some strategies that you and your teen can use together. Help your teen celebrate her brain the way it is and learn how to work WITH it.

The ADHD Brain
Strategies for attention management
Strategies for impulsivity

Resources used for episode:

Elaine Tayler-Klaus & Diane Dempster (co-founders ImpactADHD), Parenting ADHD Now, Can buy here
Hacking Your ADHD Podcast, Episode “Coaching For Your Brain with Dr. Norrine Russell,”
Katie Hurley, LCSW, “ADHD & Teens: How to Help Them Cope with Their Struggles” Psycom

Resources not used in episode but also super helpful:

Mary Rooney, PhD, “ADHD in Teens,” Childmind
“Parenting Teens with ADHD,” CHADD
“ADHD Symptoms in Teens: Your Guide to Warning Signs & Treatment for Adolescents,” ADDitude
Help4ADHD.org
Dr.Hallowell.com
TotallyADD.com
Instagram @impactparents @adhd_understood, @adhdmemetherapy, @motherhoodinadhd @helloiamadhd @adhdinchildrensupport
Sponsor Link: https://lifesuccessforteens.com/
Sponsor Instagram: @lifesuccessforteens
Sponsor Facebook: @lifesuccessforteens

072 - Popularity Oct 11, 2021

Show notes

Depending on your teen experience, the word "popular" probably brings up a variety of strong emotions. Dread? Excitement? Shame? Pride? Anger? Dr. Mitch Prinstein (author of the book "Popular") nailed it when he said, "Even as adults we all still remember exactly where we stood in that social hierarchy."

Why is this? Why does popularity matter SO much during the teen years? And how can we help our teen avoid the pitfalls? Listen this week to learn how to talk to YOUR daughter about popularity.

What does popular even mean?
- Likeability vs. Status
- Prosocial popularity, Aggressive popularity, Bistrategic popularity
Why do we care so much about it?
- Oxytocin and Dopamine
- Why do mean kids become popular?
Does it even matter?
- Popularity Level can set you up as higher risk for struggles later on
- Being well-liked as a teenager is linked to higher success as an adult
- How we perceive ourselves as adults can stay with us throughout our life
- Take-home message? Be so careful with yourself and others.

Resources:

Mitch Prinstein, PhD, The Modern Teen, “A Letter to TEens About the Science of Popularity” Psychology Today (excerpt from the book “Popular: Finding Happiness and Success in a World That Cares Too Much About the Wrong Kinds of Relationships”)
Florida Atlantic University, “Three faces of teen popularity: Being feared, being loved, and being feared and loved” 2019. Science Daily, Original study found here
Deborah Farmer Kris, “Being Popular: Why it Consumes Teens and Continues to Affect Adults” KQED
Jane Parent, “Study Identifies Three Distinct Types of Popularity in Teens” Your Teen Mag

071 - Grief with Widow We Do Now Oct 04, 2021

Show notes

There's nothing quite as messy as grief. It can be a very scary thing to talk about. So, for this conversation, we brought in the experts!

Meet Anita and Mel from the podcast Widow We Do Now. They are both widows, and through their podcast they've created a beautiful and powerful - and even humor-full! - community for those who have lost "their person."

If you've been unsure how to talk with your daughter about grief, listen in. We learned SO much.

What grief looks like
What's helpful
What's NOT helpful

Resources:

Instagram (podcast): @widowwedonow
Instagram (Anita's): @racingfromtheashes
Also check out their podcast, Widow We Do Now, anywhere you listen to podcasts!

070 - Honesty Sep 27, 2021

Show notes

Dr. Nancy Darling, professor and chair of the psychology department at Oberlin College, has researched teens and honesty for 20 years, and she concludes that 98 percent of teenagers lie to their parents.

And let's be real... that last 2 percent probably lied about not ever lying.

So, if lying is so pervasive, is there any hope for raising honest teens? Listen in as we talk about how to talk with your teen about honesty.

Why lying happens
Why honesty matters
How to have honesty in the mom-daughter relationship

Resources:

Phyllis L. Fagell, Eight Ways Parents can Teach Teens to be Honest, Washington Post
Elyse Salek, 5 Ways to Promote Honesty in Teens, Center for Parent & Teen Communication
Courtney E. Ackerman, MA, Honesty & Integrity in Therapy, Positive Psychology
Women’s Therapy Institute, Teaching your Teen Honesty, Website
Hank Pellissier, When Teens Lie (because they all do!), Great Schools
Sponsor: Life Success for Teens Promo Giveaway: 7 Ways to Stop Your Teen From Procrastinating

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