The Joyful Mourning - A Podcast for Women Who Have Experienced Pregnancy or Infant Loss

Latest Episodes:

078 5 Ways to Love a Bereaved Mom this Mother's Day with Ashlee Proffitt May 07, 2020

Show notes

If you know and love a mama who has experienced pregnancy or infant loss. This episode is for you.

Whether you are a friend or a family member, if you know a mama who is grieving this episode is really important. Because while she may not tell you, the reality is she is hurting right now.

This weekend we celebrate mothers. And if you have never experienced the loss of a baby, it is impossible to fully understand the weight of what this day carries for the mom who has.

In this episode I want to talk about why Mother's Day feels so incredibly hard for a grieving mom and give 5 simple ways that you, as her friend or as her family member, can remind her that she's loved, she's remembered, and her motherhood is seen and celebrated.

And if you are listening and you are the bereaved mama, there's a few things I want you to know today too and I'll share those later in the episode. But for now, we made a few special resources just for you to help as you walk through this weekend. You can find all those resources over at themorning.com/mothersday. Resources to remind you that you are a mother and that your motherhood is worth celebrating.

Whether you are a grieving mama or you love a grieving mama, I am so glad you are here. I pray this episode is a blessing to you.

--- SHOW NOTES: www.themorning.com/blog/episode078

THE JOYFUL MOURNING COMMUNITY: www.morning.com/community

GIFT SHOP FOR GRIEVING MOTHERS: www.themorning.com/gift-shop

THE JOYFUL MORNING INSTAGRAM: www.instagram.com/thejoyfulmorning

077 A Nurse's Wisdom & Advice for Labor & Delivery During Covid-19 with Katie Mears May 01, 2020

Show notes

Delivering a baby during this season of Covid-19 feels scary, in all the uncertainties and all the sacrifices. But for a mom delivering a baby with a life-limiting diagnosis or a baby that will be born sleeping -- this is extra hard. It's loss upon loss. And for the mom who is delivering a baby after having experienced loss this feels extra hard. The anxiety is already heightened and the extra feelings of helplessness and lack of control only add to the weightiness of the moment.

Knowing all of those things -- knowing that this moment is especially difficult for many of you listening, I wanted to bring my friend Katie Mears onto the podcast. She has been a labor and delivery nurse for over 15 years and has an enormous heart for women like you. Women who will say goodbye to their baby after just meeting them. Women whose baby will only live for a short time or women whose baby have already been born into heaven.

In this episode Katie talks about what you might expect from your hospital -- what we are seeing on the news feels scary and I asked her to be honest about the conditions there. Obviously she can only speak for the hospital where she serves but what she has to say will likely bring you a lot of encouragement and peace if you are expecting to deliver soon. She helps us understand how to be best prepared to deliver during this season, what questions we should be asking to our medical personnel and even what to bring to the hospital to make your stay as comfortable as possible. Her wisdom and practical advice and overall love for women who are in this situation is incredibly encouraging and comforting.

She offers freedom when she says "never be afraid to ask questions and speak up. Just because your providers are doing things one way doesn't mean it cant be done a different way." She reiterates over and over again that the nurses and medical team are there to serve you, they want to help, that they care. And stay tuned all the way to the end -- Katie's last sentiments to you is incredibly hope filled and comforting.

If you or someone you know will be delivering a baby during this season of Covid-19 and all of the hospital restrictions, make sure to check out our free photography guide with tips and checklists for photographing your baby when a professional photographer can't be present. This guide was created in partnership with Laura Foote, a professional photographer and volunteer photographer with the organization Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep. She walks you through the process step by step, making it as simple as possible so you can have the memories of your baby forever documented. You can find that free resource at themorning.com/babyphotography.

--- SHOW NOTES: www.themorning.com/blog/episode077

THE JOYFUL MOURNING COMMUNITY: www.morning.com/community

GIFT SHOP FOR GRIEVING MOTHERS: www.themorning.com/gift-shop

THE JOYFUL MORNING INSTAGRAM: www.instagram.com/thejoyfulmorning

How to Photograph Your Baby (& Why it's Important) When a Professional Photographer Can't Be There with Laura Foote Apr 24, 2020

Show notes

If your baby has been given a life-limiting diagnosis and you will deliver during this time of Covid-19 or you somehow miraculously found this episode as a mom who just got news that there is no heartbeat and will deliver a baby already born into heaven -- this episode is for you. If you are a nurse who works with labor and delivery this episode is for you too.

Today I interview my friend Laura Foote. She is a full time professional photographer who also volunteers as a photographer for Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep. Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep is a non-profit organization that provides beautiful, professional photography for families who are experiencing or expecting the death of their baby. Laura voluntarily walks into hospital rooms where mamas are saying goodbye to their babies. She documents these moments, the details, tiny fingers and toes and desperate embraces.

If you are listening and have not gone through the loss of a baby, this may sound incredibly strange -- who wants images of the worst, most tragic moment of your life -- and yet, while it is a tragic moment, photographs capture the life that was lived. A baby we love. A baby we will never forget. Images catch details we might forget. Details we want to remember but may become hazy over time. And while photographing a moment like this may feel impossible, even looking at the photographs may feel impossible for a time, having them is not something a grieving mom will ever regret.

Unfortunately during this time of Covid-19 with restrictions and limitations placed on hospitals it is very likely that having a professional photographer with you when your baby is born will not be possible. And as a mom who has buried a baby, as a mom who has only a handful of photographs to remember him by, that feels devastating to me -- all you have when you leave the hospital are the photos and in a moment of such loss and such grief capturing images is most likely the furthest thing from your mind.

So, in this episode I asked Laura to walk us through how to take photos of our baby even in an unthinkable moment and to make it is as simple as possible. She does that and more. Stay tuned to the end to hear the details about Laura is currently offering a service to professionally edit any photographs you take absolutely free. As a gift because she cares so deeply about you.

Throughout the episode we discuss what tools you will need, what items you should bring with you to the hospital to photograph your baby, a few simple tips for getting better photos as well a list of images you will want to take. We have put all of this together in a pdf that you can download and take with you to the hospital so you don't even have to think about it. When the time comes, ask one of your nurses if they might be able to help you with this list. You can find that resource in the show notes for this episode, simply head to themorning.com/episode076

--- SHOW NOTES: www.themorning.com/episode076

THE JOYFUL MOURNING COMMUNITY: www.thejoyfulmourningcommunity.com

GIFT SHOP FOR GRIEVING MOTHERS: www.themorning.com/gift-shop

THE JOYFUL MORNING INSTAGRAM: www.instagram.com/thejoyfulmorning

075 Grief & Loss During a Pandemic with Meg Walker Apr 17, 2020

Show notes

Just like last week's episode, the conversation in this week's episode is really, really helpful and full of hopeful reminders that are vital for anyone who has experienced grief and is currently navigating life in the midst of the pandemic at hand.

In this episode I spend some time talking with Meg Walker about what it's been like for her personally to navigate this season. She speaks candidly about the grief that this moment has stirred up in her as a loss mom and what it has looked like practically to live through those realities.

I love towards the end of the episode when Meg says these words:

"It's ok to not have it all together.

It's ok to be having a really hard time with this.

It's ok for this to be resurfacing things we thought we had conquered.

It's ok for fears to arise.

It's ok to say I can't do this God and I need you to do it for me."

And also this:

"You are not alone. You might feel forgotten. But you are not forgotten by the One who matters. You are so loved by Him. And on the days when it's really hard and you can't even get out of bed. That's ok. He doesn't love you any less. There's so much grace for you."

Thank you for being here friend. Thank you for tuning in. I pray this episode meets you right where you are today, bringing light to the dark places and spaces; bringing a reminder of hope; a reminder that you are loved and not alone.

And two more quick things before we jump into today's episode. First, the audio recording quality of this episode gets a bit glitchy at times; that is most likely due to the entire world being on the internet right now. I apologize that the quality isn't quite what I would want it to be. But while the technical aspect may not be perfect, the content is still really really good and definitely worth listening to.

Second and last thing, we talk a lot in this episode about reaching out if and when you feel alone. And one of the best places to do that is The Joyful Mourning Community -- its a group of women who know first hand what you are going through. They are able to say 'me too' and remind you that you aren't alone because they have been there too. So come join us and be reminded that it's ok to feel like a mess right now. It's ok to feel scared. It's ok to doubt or be angry or sad or confused. It's ok. We want to remind you that you are loved. We want to remind you that you're not alone in all those feelings. So, come join us by heading to themorning.com/community.

--- SHOW NOTES: www.themorning.com/blog/episode075

THE JOYFUL MOURNING COMMUNITY: www.thejoyfulmourningcommunity.com

GIFT SHOP FOR GRIEVING MOTHERS: www.themorning.com/gift-shop

THE JOYFUL MORNING INSTAGRAM: www.instagram.com/thejoyfulmorning

074 Interviewing Counselors | Navigating Grief & Trauma in a Crisis with The Counseling Collective Apr 03, 2020

Show notes

I am so grateful for this episode and I really, really think it will be helpful for you, right now. I had the privilege of interviewing Libby and Julie from The Counseling Collective and we are talking very intentionally and very practically about what it looks like to navigate the current circumstances of a pandemic that has changed everything about our lives in just a matter of weeks, while also living in a reality of loss and grief and trauma. The ripple affects of the pandemic are far reaching, and I am overwhelmed at how this is affecting the community of grieving women as it amplifies all the things that are already hard. The grief, the fear, the brokenness, the hurt, the anger, the anxiety, the loneliness -- they are all being exposed and triggered and compounded with new emotions about the current crisis at hand.

Julie and Libby give helpful and hopeful thoughts about the emotions we are all feeling and practical tools for navigating these unfamiliar and unusual circumstances. They explained things in a way that brought comfort to my own anxious heart and I am so grateful for our time together. I think you will be as well.

The second half of the interview is spent doing a Q & A of questions submitted by women in The Joyful Mourning Community specific questions about navigating grief after the loss of a baby and I think this time will be incredibly helpful to you as well!

This episode is gentle and thoughtful and gives such helpful wisdom for navigating this current moment and also life after loss in general. I really think it will bring a reminder of hope to your heart today.

---

DO YOU FEEL ALONE IN YOUR GRIEF? If you are new to The Joyful Mourning Podcast I would love to invite you to join our free online community, The Joyful Mourning Community. A place to feel known and understood. If you feel alone in your grief, this is the place for you. Join us by heading to www.themorning.com/community sign up there and you will receive a special link to join. I can't wait to see you there.

--- SHOW NOTES: www.themorning.com/listen

THE JOYFUL MOURNING COMMUNITY: www.thejoyfulmourningcommunity.com

GIFT SHOP FOR GRIEVING MOTHERS: www.themorning.com/giftshop

THE JOYFUL MORNING INSTAGRAM: www.instagram.com/thejoyfulmorning

073 Hope in a Crisis with Ashlee Proffitt Mar 27, 2020

Show notes

If you listened to the previous episode, Episode #72, you know that I had planned for this month to be all about what it's like to return to work after experiencing loss. I scheduled all the guests. I recorded all the interviews. I created all the resources. Months ago. And then just as this series was beginning, our world was slammed with a pandemic of unthinkable scope and repercussions -- we are seeing sickness and disease like nothing we have ever seen before. We are being strongly urged to "stay home" and self quarantine to limit the spread of the disease -- thus making my "Return to Work" series not very timely, applicable or even necessarily helpful when we are facing a crisis. The topic is still valuable and the interviews will be incredibly helpful at some point in the future -- but right now we need something a bit more. So while this episode is a bit different than our normal interview style, I pray that it will be incredibly helpful and hopeful for you today

We need a reminder of truth and hope and comfort. We need to know that while it doesn't seem to be true, that God is in fact in control. We need to be reminded that even though we can't possibly understand why a good God would allow such death and such loss on such a grand scale, it doesn't mean that He doesn't care or that He isn't working or that He's surprised or that He isn't good.

If you are like me, I imagine your heart feels anxious. Your faith feels wobbly. Your doubts about God's character, about His goodness, about His love for you, may be screaming louder than ever. If you are like me, your mind is distracted and your heart just feels heavy as you consider how impossible this situation seems to be.

We know that settling an anxious heart, strengthening our faith and quieting those doubts can only come from one place. We know that finding hope and joy and peace in the midst of crisis and tragedy and moments of confusion can only come from one source and yet if you are like me, going to that source-- God's Word and opening it up and sitting in it, in a moment like this can feel impossible.

So I wanted to spend this podcast episode simply reading a few of my favorite passages of scripture over you. No commentaries or my own thoughts to muddy the waters. Just God's Word. I believe Hebrews 4 to be true when it says that the word of God "is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart" So today's episode is a little different than most but my hope is that His Word alone would remind all of us who God is -- how He loves deeply, how He is working even when we may not be able to see it with our own eyes, how He is in control and how because of all of those things our hearts can be filled with peace even amidst uncertainty.

---

--- SHOW NOTES: www.themorning.com/listen

THE JOYFUL MOURNING COMMUNITY: www.thejoyfulmourningcommunity.com

GIFT SHOP FOR GRIEVING MOTHERS: www.themorning.com/giftshop

THE JOYFUL MORNING INSTAGRAM: www.instagram.com/thejoyfulmorning

072 Returning to Work After Stillbirth with Michelle Gutierrez Mar 12, 2020

Show notes

Returning to normalcy and routine and responsibilities can be incredibly difficult after the loss of a baby, especially the responsibility of work. Having to face co-workers and bosses and having to complete tasks and perform even the smallest of jobs can be so hard for a grieving mom. Knowing how difficult the return to work can be, I have brought 4 women on the podcast to share their personal experience of going back to work after experiencing the loss of a baby, asking them questions about the challenges they faced and what advice they would give to a mom returning work. Make sure to tune in to each of those 4 interviews, episodes 71-74.

In today's episode I am talking with Michelle Gutierrez about her experience returning to work as an accountant just 8 weeks after losing her son Evan. Michelle shares openly about the challenges she faced upon her return as well as the very practical steps she took to help with the transition of going back to work. And even if you are not returning to work I am sure you will be able to identify with Michelle when she talks about how returning to routine and normal made her feel guilty, like she was forgetting her son when she should just be grieving him. She shares honestly about how emotional those first few weeks were and how it's ok to just cry if you need to. She shares about why going back to work was helpful, giving hope to those in that situation as well as what she would have done differently if she could do it over, giving practical advice for those listening who are preparing to go back to work.

If you are listening as a friend or coworker of someone who has lost a baby, Michelle offers very tangible wisdom for you as well about how to love and support a grieving mama who is heading back to work, when she answers the question "what would you say to your coworkers if they were listening in?"

Michelle is tender and gracious and I think this episode will leave all grieving mamas feeling known, understood and very hopeful.

---

--- SHOW NOTES: www.themorning.com/listen

THE JOYFUL MOURNING COMMUNITY: www.thejoyfulmourningcommunity.com

GIFT SHOP FOR GRIEVING MOTHERS: www.themorning.com/giftshop

THE JOYFUL MORNING INSTAGRAM: www.instagram.com/thejoyfulmorning

071 Returning to Work After Infant Loss With Maggie Koch Mar 06, 2020

Show notes

There are so many aspects of life after loss that feel incredibly difficult and challenging, impossible even. Even doing mundane, normal or routine things can feel daunting. And we all know from experience that the first firsts after losing our baby can bring unexpected tears or feelings of anxiety or fear or deep sadness. So it makes sense that going back to work after experiencing the loss of a baby can feel especially challenging.

We fear having to resume normal tasks when our heart is shattered and our mind barely feels as though it's functioning. We fear having to face people who knew us before loss. We are afraid of having to talk about our baby and at the same time afraid that people won't ask. We are wondering what people are thinking about us or saying about us. We are wondering if we will ever be able to do our job at the level we performed before losing our baby.

Understanding that returning to work is one of the most difficult aspects of life after loss, I wanted to create a special series of episodes where we talk about how to navigate that very thing. Throughout the next 4 episodes I have the privilege of talking with women specifically about what it looked like for them to return to work after losing their baby.

In today's episode I am talking with Maggie Koch about her experience of heading back to the hospital where she delivered her stillborn daughter to resume her work as an RN. Her interview is incredibly honest and tender and practically very helpful. She gives advice that is tangible and realistic and I am sure that if you are in a position where you will be heading back to work soon, this episode will be an enormous blessing.

Over and over again throughout this interview Maggie reminds you to be gracious to yourself, to take your time, to communicate your needs and that it's ok to not be ok. Her words are gentle and encouraging and hopeful as she instills the truth that while this will be hard, you can do this.

If you are listening as a friend of someone who has lost a baby, Maggie offers very tangible wisdom for you as well about how to love and support a grieving mama who is heading back to work. From all of us grieving mamas -- thank you for caring and loving and supporting -- your efforts mean more than you could ever fully know.

I am certain that Maggie's story and wisdom will bless and encourage you.

--- SHOW NOTES: www.themorning.com/listen

THE JOYFUL MOURNING COMMUNITY: www.thejoyfulmourningcommunity.com

GIFT SHOP FOR GRIEVING MOTHERS: www.themorning.com/giftshop

THE JOYFUL MORNING INSTAGRAM: www.instagram.com/thejoyfulmorning

070 Navigating Marriage After Infant Loss With Mary Margaret & Tim Powitz Feb 24, 2020

Show notes

Over the past few weeks we have been talking about marriage and what it looks like to very practically navigate the relationships to those closest to us after the loss of a baby. In this week's episode I am talking with Mary Margaret and Tim Powitz about what it looked like for them walk through grief together after the loss of their daughter Helen. This honest interview is helpful and hopeful as it reminds you that while you may grieve differently than your spouse or those around you it doesn't mean you didn't love your baby and it doesn't mean you don't love your spouse. This episode is full of practical and tangible advice for any couple walking through loss about how to continue to fight for your marriage, even in a season as hard as this one. I am hopeful that Mary Margaret and Tim's story will bless and encourage you today as it reminds you you are not alone in this grief journey. And that while this relationship will never be the same, it can grow stronger and deeper. -- DO YOU FEEL ALONE IN YOUR GRIEF? If you are new to The Joyful Mourning Podcast I would love to invite you to join our free online community, The Joyful Mourning Community. A place to feel known and understood. If you feel alone in your grief, this is the place for you. Join us by heading to www.themorning.com/community sign up there and you will receive a special link to join. I can't wait to see you there. --- SHOW NOTES: www.themorning.com/listen THE JOYFUL MOURNING COMMUNITY: www.thejoyfulmourningcommunity.com GIFT SHOP FOR GRIEVING MOTHERS: www.themorning.com/giftshop THE JOYFUL MORNING INSTAGRAM: www.instagram.com/thejoyfulmorning

069 Navigating Marriage After Infant Loss - Trisomy 18 With Laura & Andrew Moore Feb 14, 2020

Show notes

Navigating relationships after the loss of a baby can be incredibly difficult, especially the marriage relationship. Throughout the month of February I have the privilege of talking with couples about marriage after the loss of a baby. The good, the hard, the awkward and even the funny things I am sure you will be able to relate to. Last week in Episode 68, Meg & John-Mark Walker shared their story of loss, the challenges they faced and how they worked through those challenges. In this week's episode I am talking with Laura and Andrew Moore. They navigated marriage and grief after losing their son Hudson to Trisomy 18. Laura and Andrew are incredibly honest in this interview, sharing openly about their journey. They answer questions hard questions about their spiritual journey during the months after their baby's diagnosis and the months after his death. They talk candidly about what it looked like to still pursue each other and their relationship in the season of anticipatory grief and also the season after their son died. They talk about feelings of jealousy and feeling like you're behind when everyone else has a growing family and you no longer do. They give incredibly practical and tangible advice for any couple walking through loss about how to continue to fight for your marriage, even in a season as hard as this one. The wisdom shared here is incredibly helpful and hopeful; I feel certain that Laura & Andrew's story will bless encourage you today. -- DO YOU FEEL ALONE IN YOUR GRIEF? If you are new to The Joyful Mourning Podcast I would love to invite you to join our free online community, The Joyful Mourning Community. A place to feel known and understood. If you feel alone in your grief, this is the place for you. Join us by heading to www.themorning.com/community sign up there and you will receive a special link to join. I can't wait to see you there. --- SHOW NOTES: www.themorning.com/listen THE JOYFUL MOURNING COMMUNITY: www.thejoyfulmourningcommunity.com GIFT SHOP FOR GRIEVING MOTHERS: www.themorning.com/giftshop THE JOYFUL MORNING INSTAGRAM: www.instagram.com/thejoyfulmorning

Our TOPPODCAST Picks

Follow Us

Stay Connected

The Joyful Mourning – A Podcast for Women Who Have Experienced Pregnancy or Infant Loss

Related Podcasts

Links

Stay Connected