The Jayson Gaddis Podcast

Latest Episodes:

SC 98 - Evolving Men's Sexuality - From Porn To Presence - Destin Gerek Feb 15, 2017

Show notes

Do you ever use sex to avoid closeness? Do you know what happens when a man who is called the Erotic Rockstar hits a wall and falls apart? In this intimate episode, we explore these questions and hear a man's vulnerable and raw answers. You'd be surprised at some of what he has to share. There are some nuggets in this very edgy episode. From politics to porn, we cover a lot of ground. Listen to my guest Destin Gerek share his very personal story of overcoming his ego, feeling his emotions and heart, and then sharing what he's learned (and learning) with other men.

SHOWNOTES

The most important role men can take to help women flourish [26:00]
Why women are usually more emotionally accessible than men [31:00]
Getting support from other men [33:00]
Knowing when the answer is to ‘leave’ [35:00]
How to speak so he’ll listen (and hear your hurt) [38:00]
The dangers of ‘programming’ yourself with porn [40:00]
Noticing the positive and negative effects of porn use [43:00]
Why you should remove the word ‘performance’ from your vocabulary [46:00]
For men: how to immediately get more present during sex [48:00]

SC 97 - My Partner Doesn't Want To Get Married But I Do Feb 13, 2017

Show notes

If one of you wants marriage and the other doesn't, there will be problems. You both need to get crystal clear and determine how "negotiable" this is. Listen to the podcast for more detailed info on what you can do about this common dilemma

SHOWNOTES

What if your partner won’t work on it with you? [1:00]

Question 1: My boyfriend and I have been dating 2+ years and have been unable to move forward and feel secure in our relationship because I believe in marriage and he does not. That said, he does believe in committed monogamous partnership, just not the ‘institution’.
I love and want to be with him, but it feels like we’ll forever be in this eternal impasse. Any suggestions on how to get over this hurdle, or is it simply time to move on?

The institution of marriage [3:00]
What are you really scared of? [6:00]

Question 2: My boyfriend and I have been together for 4.5 years. We both have lost a spouse and have 5 kids between us. A year ago we got engaged and were living together for 5 months. He became overwhelmed with the demands of a large, blended family and left taking his two children with him. After therapy and 9 painful months of hurting one another, we’re giving it an earnest try and restarting the relationship. What is lacking for me is commitment. We are no longer engaged and have no plans to live together.
I took one of your courses and understand my part - I understand that the relationship has to meet my needs or I need to leave. He’s not willing to commit to me through marriage and will only live in two houses as the blended family is too hard of a situation with him.
Is it true that the only way this relationship can survive is if he moves forward towards meeting my needs of commitment and living together at least part of the time?

Your ‘Non-Negotiable Needs’ [9:00]
Your Action Step [12:00]

SC 96 - Women's Sexuality - De-Armor Your Cervix Feb 08, 2017

Show notes

If you are a woman who feels shut down in your body or genitals, this conversation is for you. My guest Olivia Bryant helps you understand your cervix and what to do to begin the healing journey. I learned a lot here and am reminded how jammed up we are as a culture sexually. There's so much wounding, trauma, and pain around our sex lives and our guest will help you address one potential area of your sex life that needs attention and healing.

SHOWNOTES

Learning how we shut down to learn how to open up [8:00]
Olivia’s Story of ‘de-armoring’ herself [9:00]
Understanding our ‘armoring’ and de-armoring process [11:00]
Un-learning bad habits from porn [14:00]
How the cervix becomes numb from the wrong kinds of sexual contact [15:00]
Things couple can do together to have deeper, better sex (without the pounding) [16:00]
Understanding the types, states and experiences of orgasm [19:00]
How to tap into the Orgasmic State to enhance your pleasure [21:00]
Going slower for better sex [23:00]
The De-Armoring Process: where to start, what to do and what to look for [25:00]
What not to do when experimenting with sexual healing work [29:00]
Dealing with bruised egos: how to give and receive feedback without taking it personally [30:00]
Your Action Step [40:00]

For more, visit jaysongaddis.com/podcast96

SC 95 - The Problem With Never Fighting In Your Relationship Feb 06, 2017

Show notes

If you are not fighting after 4 years of being together you're asleep. Why? I'll explain in this episode. I used to be proud of the fact that I never fought in my relationships. But man, was I missing the boat...

SHOWNOTES

Question: “You talk about working together and communication. But is there such a thing as working TOO well together, never fighting or getting into an argument? Sometimes I would like to have some type of disagreement or argument. We’ve been together almost 4 years and we’ve not had one disagreement or argument. He just kinda always gives me what I want. Please help. “

Why conflict is important - and the dangers of chronic conflict-avoidance [1:00]
Why the older generations often ‘suck up’ their conflict, and why the mainstream is wrong about conflict [4:00]
What to do if your partner is a ‘conflict avoider’ [6:00]
How to use fighting as a doorway to greater understanding and connection in your relationship [7:00]
What American Beauty can teach us about how not to handle conflict and tension [8:00]
How to approach your partner if they’re conflict-avoidant (and how to say it well)[12:00]

SC 94 - 7 Behaviors That Kill Your Connection Feb 02, 2017

Show notes

Are you killing the connection with these 7 behaviors? My guest Bryan Reeves lays out some of the most common connection killers and what to do instead. There's some really good, practical advice in this episode. Dig in and enjoy

Bryan’s relationship story [7:00]
The Masculine-Feminine Dance and the ‘pull-push’ cycle [11:00]
Freedom vs connection in relationship [12:00]
When she says ‘come closer’ and he says ‘back away (and his biggest fear in life) [14:00]
One way to handle a woman’s anger [17:00]
Key Relationship Skill: Connection before correction [19:00]
The danger of ‘data-gathering,’ and how our partners feel invalidated by it [22:00]
Why ‘mansplaining’ doesn’t bring you closer together [24:00]
How one-upping your partner’s problems can lead to toxic arguments [25:00]
A simple, impactful two-step principle for better connection and less friction [30:00]

SC 93 - Does His Size Matter? Jan 31, 2017

Show notes

Here’s a good question from a listener. Essentially it’s about physical attractiveness and size. Check it out:

Question: I’m newly interested in a man after being single for 4 years, I have a 5 year old son. My biggest issue is getting over the ‘drug-effect’ of having someone new and really discovering why we should or are together. I’m all about getting the ‘high’ and attracting guys who are physically fit and are the perfect eye candy to have on my arm. Right now the guy I’m seeing is just the opposite and I’m having a hard time with it.

Not only that, but his package is small and the sex is not good at all. In fact, he has not been able to even be turned on by me enough to have intercourse. That really hurt me, so we have not had sex since. I’m looking for ways for us to strengthen our relationship after this experience and advice on how I can get past not having the physically fit man on my arm.

What happens if your man has a small penis… and can’t get an erection? [8:00]
We attract what we most need to learn [9:00]
What matters short-term vs what matters long-term [11:00]
Embracing yourself as you are [14:00]
How to approach a guy in this situation [16:00]
Not taking it personally [17:00]

SC 92 - Abusive Relationships and How to Deal With Them Jan 25, 2017

Show notes

Are you in an abusive relationship? In this episode we explore some of the hallmarks of an "abusive" relationship and what to do with any form of disrespect, neglect, or abuse. It's actually harder than you think and there's more work to do than to just "leave" the relationship. I answer loads of questions from listeners like you on abuse in your relationship life. I think there might be some confronting and helpful information in here for you.

SHOWNOTES

What is an abusive relationship? My definition might surprise you [9:00]
How to know if you’re in an abusive adult relationship [11:00]
The difference between fault and responsibility [13:00]
How we heal trauma [14:00]
Why ‘just leave’ is often the wrong advice [17:00]
What to do if your physical safety is threatened [22:00]
The definition of ‘gaslighting’ [24:00]
Name calling [31:00]
Discover your criteria for abuse [34:00]
The I, You and We of thriving partnerships [36:00]
On mutually abusive relationships [44:00]
Dealing with Stonewalling [46:00]
The ‘deer in headlights’ response - and how to use it to your advantage [49:00]
If you’re a man in an abusive relationship [51:00]
Learning the difference between real and perceived threats [56:00]
Firmness vs Anger [1:04:00]
Your action step [1:06:00]

SC 91 - Is Flirting Cheating? Jan 23, 2017

Show notes

I’ve been in my current relationship for 15 months. Right off the bat, we rushed into it both freshly out of our relationships. At 3 months he started ‘hardcore flirting’ in messages to facebook friends of his. He didn’t hide it, but I’m sure he didn’t expect me to see it. I found out because he disappearing act one evening and lied to me at first about where he was. A few days later, I was shocked, he was sexually flirting with others via messenger. I confronted him and he told me he loves me. “It was just talk, didn’t mean anything,” that his intentions were not to follow through on any of it, I had nothing to worry about. Besides this crap, he’s great. He’s good to me.

Do I get over my fear of him going too far at some point, losing him and just ignore the things he does privately, or do I/should I have ran the other direction as fast as I can?

Finding your ‘line’ with flirting [3:00]
What if my partner gets defensive when I ask them about it? [5:00]
Find your truth: what works for you, what doesn’t [7:00]
How to talk to your partner if you’re uncomfortable with their flirting [10:00]

SC 90 - 4 Steps To Solving Money Problems In Your Marriage - Bari Tessler Linden Jan 18, 2017

Show notes

Money and Relationships! Some say this is one of the top 3 reasons people get divorced. So, do the two of you feel "on the same page" with money or is it a source of tension? If you feel challenged in any way around money in your relationship life, then listen to my friend Bari Tessler breakdown 4 steps to being a more empowered team around money. Any smart couple will want to get this part of their relationship handled and this podcast will be a great start

SHOWNOTES

Bari’s Money Story [9:00]
Combining ‘money-stories’ with your partner: avoid the pitfalls [16:00]
What to do when one person in the relationship handles most of the finances [17:00]
How men and women can think differently about finances - and why it’s important to understand money your way [20:00]
Have you ever been surprised by a partner’s financial problems, months (or even years) into your relationship? Here’s how to handle it [21:00]
When, where and how to bring up the ‘money’ talk [23:00]
Should you be saving your grocery receipts? Merging our money can be an important step in a relationship (but it’s not for everyone) [25:00]
Dealing with shame around money [30:00]
The risks we take by not dealing with our money [34:00]
Asking for help with your finances shame-free [35:00]
Doing the emotional work first [38:00]
A practical tool for dealing with money day-to-day [40:00]
How to have ‘money-dates’ with your partner [42:00]
The four phases of money with your honey [47:00]
What happens when your partner wants to buy something ‘fun and expensive’? [57:00]
Getting clear on your money-map [1:01:00]

SC 89 - Texting and Relationship Advice for Young Adults Jan 16, 2017

Show notes

A great 3-part question from Nathan from Oregon particularly pertaining to relationships as a young adult. He's also wanting to find mature relationships and act more mature. Check it out.

SHOWNOTES

Question - Part 1: How do you navigate technology in relationships? When is it connecting? When is it disconnecting? As phones and technological tools are becoming more necessities, how do we use them from a place of strength?

The Do’s and Don’ts of Texting and Fighting (especially if it’s serious) [3:00]
How to address ‘scary’ topics face-to-face - words to use and when to say them [5:00]

Question - Part 2: In an early stage of life, how do you determine what is really your authentic self and not just a reflection of external influences - anything from hormones to parents?

What young people can do to discover who they are, what they want and what they value [7:00]

Question - Part 3: Could you offer any advice on how to form new relationships, or your first relationships, or how to identify people you want to bring in or keep in your life?

A mindset shift that all young adults need to make (some never do) before they can find their path in life and work [10:00]
How to become the kind of person who has high-quality, mature relationships [13:30]

Roots Community: JaysonGaddis.com/roots

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