This is a podcast for Christian women like you to come take a breather from all the things they need to be doing for their families. Let’s hit the pause button, clear the noise, and shift our focus back on God so that you can find the grace & truth you need to do the work He has for you today.
Episode 001: Evergreen Christian Marriage Advice
Jul 01, 2017
Show notes
This is part of a blog series: The Blueprint of a Christ-Centered Wife. Follow us as we look at the theologies behind your missional role and the practicalities on how to make it a reality in your life right now. This is gonna be great!
Podcast music: Sunny Holidays and Summertime by Nicolai Heidlas
Before Grant and I got married, I had received some advice that has proven to be wise counsel in our own marriage over the years.
So I thought I'd share them with you today. Whether you're a newlywed or you've been married for a while, I hope you would find them helpful for your own marriage as well.
Ditch the PJs
The marriage bed is one of the best places to strengthen the bond of your marriage. If you could, especially in the newlywed years, try to sleep in your birthday suit (wink wink). [Side note: I've written about 8 ways to pursue your husband in the bedroom, read it here.]
Practice Making Babies
On the note of marriage bed, practice making babies... over and over again.
God has a great purpose for you when you got married. Don't waste this privilege to reflect Christ in your marriage by learning more about being a godly wife and how you can grow in that through His Word. Proverbs 31 is a good place to start - check out our Bible study on this chapter here.
Only One of You Can Be Crazy At a Time
When two sinners are in one room, they will annoy each other. #funfact #sarcasm This may sound weird but if you both agree on this: that only one of you can be crazy at a time, you could save yourselves some arguments.
Here's what I mean by "crazy" - you are acting "crazy" when you're not bearing the fruits of the Spirit. So think anger, frustration, grumpiness, bitterness, etc.
As a married couple, you will notice really quickly when your husband is acting "crazy". That should give you a warning sign that he is not in the Spirit right now. Instead of reacting to him angrily (which does NOT help, I guarantee), calmly talk to him, hold his hands and pray for him.
This takes lots of self-control. But if it results in a strengthened marriage between you two, it's worth it.
Forgive and Forget
When two sinners are in one room, they will sin against each other.
When sin happens, we should follow in Jesus's footsteps to graciously forgive and intentionally 'forget' his sins, meaning you consciously decide on not to use it against him in the future. This includes bringing it up to him and talking badly about him in front of other people.
This is crucial for a healthy marriage relationship and also a great way to reflect God's grace and forgiveness.
PS - If you are in an abusive relationship, please talk to the elders at your church. Get help. Depending on your circumstances, you might even have to be separated from your husband for a while to keep yourself safe from further harm and to allow time for your husband to get help and to repent.
Pray for Your Husband More Than You Talk About His Problems
When two sinners are in one room, you will clearly see the sins of his life and how he should change.
But here's the problem in talking to your husband about his sins: It may not be received well. He may perceive you as critical or nagging.
So instead of pointing out his sin every time it occurs, talk to God first.
Bring all your thoughts and emotions to Him. Let Him do the changing of your husband's heart, not you. Ask Him for the right time to bring up your husband's sins. Ask for a calm and peaceful heart when you do talk to your husband. Be the powerful praying wife for your husband and lift him up in your prayers.
Engage in a Gospel Community
While your marriage is a private relationship, you need a support system that will point you to the Truth and pray for you. Being in a Gospel-centered community is how you can get such support.
There are a few ways to get community as a couple: 1) Get involved with a small group at your church - Grant and I meet weekly with other families. It has been a great way for us in our walks with Jesus as a couple and also individually. 2) Have an older couple mentor you - Having another couple to come alongside you and provide a safe place for you to share your struggles and to help you grow in a godly marriage will be very beneficial for you and your husband.
Pursue God First
We love because He first loved us (1 John 4:19). We can't love our husbands the way He loves us if we don't draw from the source of love ourselves.
Make it your commitment to pursue God first; abide in Him and He in you. Even if you're just reading for 5-10 minutes at a time, the consistency of getting in the Word will bring fruit to your life.
PS - if you need some tools to help you get in the Word consistently, give our bite-sized Bible studies a try. They're perfect for your busy season because you only read one verse at a time. But the guided questions will help you dig deep even in just a short amount of time. Snag your copy today here.
You are not Your Husband's Holy Spirit
Jun 26, 2017
Show notes
Did you know God treasures a wife of noble character? In fact, in Proverbs 31:10, it says that an excellent wife is far more precious than rubies? Rubies are some of the highest-valued colored stones in the world. If you live out your role as a wife with noble respectable character, in God's eyes you are worth more than some of the most expensive jewels. You know what that tells me about your role as a wife? It tells me that you are not just a wife; God made you a wife with a purpose and a mission; it is not an afterthought. Your role as a wife can carry great value... if you live it out with purpose and mission.
For the next few weeks, we will begin a new series called: The Blueprint of a Christ-Centered Wife.
We will look at the theologies behind your missional role and the practicalities on how to make it a reality in your life right now.
Are you excited? I hope you are because this is gonna be great!!
I saw the oh-so-familiar look on his face.
Our guests were going to arrive in a few hours and my husband was having anxiety over how our house looked, whether we had everything prepared, etc.
His anxiety stressed me out in an instant. The joy of hospitality was now - poof - gone; instead, I became angry - no - furious. I wanted to scream at him.
You are His Helper, Not His Holy Spirit
A misconception that I have about my role as Grant's wife is that I'm supposed to help him like the Holy Spirit does.
Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”
— Genesis 2:18
Here in Genesis 2:18, God was giving Adam a helper fit for him. And then we see the word "helper" again in John 14.
And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever,
— John 14:16
It's easy for me to connect these two seemingly-obvious-dots. But if we take a deeper look into the Word, we'll see that they're not talking about the same thing.
In the Bible's original manuscript, the word "helper" that God used just before He created Eve is not the same word He used when He was talking about the Holy Spirit.
The word used for Eve was 'ezer. It means help, aid.
The word used for the Holy Spirit was paraklētos. It means an intercessor, consoler, advocate, and comforter.
According to Blue Letter Bible's Lexicon on the word parakletos, the word was used in the Bible as one who pleads another's cause before a judge.
I'm supposed to help my husband, to aid him in his roles God has called him to. But I'm NOT an intercessor for him before God.
I, in my sinful nature, CANNOT intercede for my husband before the ultimate Judge. I am just as guilty as my husband before the God of all. Who am I to plead for his cause when I should be judged right next to my husband?!
Interceding for my husband is not my job. That is Jesus's job.
A Head-Heart Disconnection
So what are you supposed to help with, now that you know you're not your husband's Holy Spirit?
When my husband was overwhelmed by anxiety just before our guests arrived, I wanted to scream at him:
Being hospitable is not about having a perfect house. It's about opening our home and our hearts to people. Stop freaking out about this! This is just a party for a one-year-old!
I'm thankful that God kept my mouth shut so I didn't actually scream at my dear husband.
You know what I would've achieved by screaming at him? Nothing. It would've done nothing.
After the party was over and I was not angry anymore, we talked about how this weekend went. Bringing up the subject of anxiety and hospitality, I said in the moment when he was anxious, he should've done a heart check.
What he responded gently with was a light bulb moment for me.
He knew that he needed a heart check at the moment. But what he needed from me was not a "go do a heart check" command. He needed his wife to come alongside him, take his hands and pray for him.
You see, he had the head knowledge that God had sovereign control. His problem was his heart. His heart did not have God on his throne. His heart did not believe what the head believes.
Friends, I would guess that if your husband is a follower of Jesus, he probably also has a disconnection problem.
He knows the Truth but his flesh - his heart - has a disbelieve.
Point Him to the Light
Wives, I wanna encourage you to step down from the role of convicting your husband, of telling him what you think he should do.
I want you to gently grab his hands and bow your head with him. Pray for him. Point him to the light. Ask the Holy Spirit to change his heart. Because only God can change his heart.
God is the only One who can filter the lies in your husband's heart and fill him up with the fruits of the Spirit.
Your role, as his wife, is to stand alongside him and help him see that light. That's what a helper does.
Learn More About Being a Godly Wife
Do you want to learn more about being a godly wife? Download your FREE mini Bible study on Proverbs 31! You'll be sure to learn and grow in becoming the Proverbs 31 lady.
Give Thanks to the Lord: Recounting the Ordinary Tales of His Extraordinary Deeds [Day 5]
Jun 16, 2017
Show notes
Continuing in the series, I invite YOU to share your ordinary tales of His extraordinary deeds.
Let's be a body of Christ who come together and share all the great things He has done for us.
Share your story today with #HisWonderfulDeeds (and be sure to tag me @everleighcompany); let's FLOOD social media with His great deeds so that the body of Christ can marvel at His greatness together and that nonbelievers can see that He is GOOD.
If I had to use one word to describe the coming of our youngest son, Levi, it'd be protected. I might not have understood it at the time, but now I see God's protection over Levi and I.
Rocky Road
The pregnancy started off nice and smooth. I had some morning sickness but not as bad as when I had Z. I had some pregnancy aches and pains but nothing intolerable.
Time seemed to pass so quickly with this pregnancy, probably because my then-young toddler kept me busy.
When I was about 28 weeks pregnant, however, I learned that my father had passed away thousands of miles from me (you can read that story here). We had originally planned to visit my parents who lived in Hong Kong at the time later that year. But this radically changed our plans.
We changed our plane tickets and we were ready to head to Hong Kong. But one visit to my OBGYN changed everything.
I told my doctor about my plan to fly and she thought she'd check my dilation just to make sure everything would be okay.
Well.
"You're 1 cm dilated," my doctor said.
She advised that while it'd been a healthy pregnancy and I did dilate early with Azariah at about 36 weeks, there was still a risk to consider: should I go into labor on the long flight (16 hours to be exact), that could potentially harm my baby and I.
I remember driving home from the doctor's office and crying.
For the good of the baby and myself, it was better to stay in the country. But it also meant that I would miss my father's funeral.
It was an easy decision but at the same time it was not.
God's Protection
We were so blessed with families and friends who loved us.
About 2 weeks later at 30 weeks pregnant, I showed more signs of preterm labor. I was advised to be on bed rest to keep the baby from being born prematurely.
Immediately, people at church started praying for us and the baby. Friends and family put together a meal schedule and a schedule to help watch our then-17-month-old boy.
We were well protected and provided for in this season. Every week we celebrated being one more week pregnant until we hit the safety zone at 36 weeks.
Levi, our youngest, was born safe and sound at 39 weeks.
Praise. God.
Looking Back
When I was on bed rest, I wondered: would the baby have been okay if we had gone to Hong Kong? Maybe I should have gone anyway.
But looking back now, I know it was all God's plan and a part of His protection.
If I had gone back, all the walking and hustling and running errands would probably put me in labor at 29 or 30 weeks pregnant. Hong Kong is a big city where public transportation is the way to go. We would've been walking a lot to get from point A to point B, which is not good for a pregnant lady already showing signs for preterm labor.
For about 2 weeks, Grant's cousin got to watch Azariah for me because she was in transition between graduation and the start of her career. The timing couldn't have been more perfect. Her help was significant in giving me the freedom to just rest.
I'm so thankful that our Levi entered this world safe and sound. God is indeed our protector.
This is my recounting of my parents' ordinary tale of His extraordinary deeds. Share YOUR story with the hashtag #HisWonderfulDeeds. Let's shout from the rooftop and flood social media with His wondrous works so all nation will see that He is GOOD and give Him the praise He deserves! What will YOU share today?
Give Thanks to the Lord: Recounting the Ordinary Tales of His Extraordinary Deeds [Day 04]
Jun 12, 2017
Show notes
Continuing in the series, I invite YOU to share your ordinary tales of His extraordinary deeds.
Let's be a body of Christ who come together and share all the great things He has done for us.
Share your story today with #HisWonderfulDeeds (and be sure to tag me @everleighcompany); let's FLOOD social media with His great deeds so that the body of Christ can marvel at His greatness together and that nonbelievers can see that He is GOOD.
Last week, I talked about how God brought me and my brother closer to Him. Today, I wanna tell you my parents' story.
Purposeful Suffering
My dad was a Buddhist and my mom became one under my dad's influence. They were not super religious but, still, they practiced some aspect of Buddhism. Once a year, we'd go to the New Year gathering, "praying" for the year to come. In our living room, we had a little cupboard with Buddhism scripts written in it and it would just sit there.
Fast forward to when I came home from college for summer, my parents seemed to be a little more religious in their Buddhism practice. They now would "pray" to that cupboard before they left the house and after they came home; they wanted to be thankful they had been kept safe. (To this day, I'm still not quite sure what led to this practice...)
Less than a year later, I became a Christian and I remembered their Buddhism practice. I began praying for their salvation.
Fast forward to November 2014, my parents traveled all the way to Iowa to welcome the arrival of their first grandson. They stayed with us during their 3-month stay and Grant and I did what we could to be a testimony to them.
This was also the time when I noticed a decline in health for my father. He had lost a lot of weight and he was constantly using the bathroom. Something wasn't right.
Even though my mom had prompted him to go see the doctor for his health, he declined. He didn't want to know if something was wrong and he didn't want a hospital bill. But his body couldn't take it.
He was admitted to the hospital in June 2015 because he was in so much pain. Upon a physical examination, the doctor delivered the bad news: my dad had colon cancer.
He refused to undertake any treatment for it; he didn't want to go through the grueling treatment of chemo and radiation. I don't blame him but we couldn't just watch him die and do nothing.
He was laying on his hospital bed one day when we video-chatted. Desperate for him to agree to being treated, tears were running down my face.
God made you a warrior. Don't give up quite yet. Jesus will give you the strength to endure this. I remember saying.
At the end of our conversation, he agreed to go through the treatment.
Since then, my brother and I were encouraging him and pointing him to Jesus when he got scared. I had friends at my church praying for my dad - both for his health and his salvation.
God Answered
I don't remember exactly how long after he agreed to go through treatment when my mom told me the great news: my dad had decided to give his life to Jesus!
I. Was. Overjoyed.
But that wasn't it!
My mom had also decided to give her life to Jesus!
What a double blessing!!
While I'm sad to tell you that my dad had passed away in March 2016 shortly after he stopped responding to the treatment, I rejoice in the fact that I know where he's at right now.
He is in HEAVEN with Jesus!!
He is in the best place ever and he will be there forever WITH JESUS!
Even though the last few months of his life was hard, I am encouraged and comforted because:
1) God welcomed him into His Kingdom before he died.
2) God made BEAUTY from this ugly ashes of cancer. Yes, it saddened me that my dad suffered from cancer, but his suffering was not for nothing. His suffering had a purpose and that is to bring him to the Lord. That, is PRICELESS.
3) When God planned for years to save me, He didn't stop there. He saved my brother just 4 years later. And then He saved my parents just 2 years after that. He saved my whole family! I am so very thankful for His amazing wondrous works that saved my whole family.
If you have a family member that doesn't know the Lord yet, I hope this story of God's amazing redemption encourages you. Don't stop praying for your family. Seek to be the light in their lives and keep praying for them! I pray that God will open the eyes of your family members and that they will surrender their lives to Jesus!
This is my recounting of my parents' ordinary tale of His extraordinary deeds. Share YOUR story with the hashtag #HisWonderfulDeeds. Let's shout from the rooftop and flood social media with His wondrous works so all nation will see that He is GOOD and give Him the praise He deserves! What will YOU share today?
Give Thanks to the Lord: Recounting the Ordinary Tales of His Extraordinary Deeds [Day 03]
Jun 09, 2017
Show notes
This week and next, I invite YOU to share your ordinary tales of His extraordinary deeds.
Let's be a body of Christ who come together and share all the great things He has done for us.
Share your story today with #HisWonderfulDeeds (and be sure to tag me @everleighcompany); let's FLOOD social media with His great deeds so that the body of Christ can marvel at His greatness together and that nonbelievers can see that He is GOOD.
Remember how God provided us a house in my post two days ago? Well, His Good Work didn't stop there.
God Uses His People
When my brother came to live with us, he was not a believer. And so prior to his arrival, Grant and I were praying for his salvation and for opportunities for us to share the Gospel with him.
From time to time we would get opportunities to have spiritual conversations with him. Sometimes, we even got to talk about Jesus. But mostly, we just tried our best to live out the Gospel and tried to handle any conflicts as best as we can according to the Bible.
At first, he didn't seem to care. But when the second semester rolled around, he began to ask more questions. We even got to study the Bible together!
In April 2014, we left for vacation for two weeks. But I noticed some change in my brother when we came home.
He had ordered a brand new Bible and he was listening to a Christian radio station allll the time.
#what?!?!
At this point, I wasn't sure if he had given his life to Jesus or not. But I was hopeful.
He traveled home soon after our vacation ended. I was concerned that the summer would be a stumble block in drawing him closer to God so I connected him with my dear friend, Stephanie, from home.
And one day, I got the best news.
God's Saving Grace
Turns out: Stephanie took my brother to church and they had a conversation where Stephanie found out that my brother had accepted Christ back in April, when Grant and I were on vacation! And he didn't even bother to mention it to us! #whodoesthat?!
I was in awe that God had used our little house and our relationship with my brother to bring him into His Kingdom!
This is my recounting of His wonderful deed! My brother's story of salvation wasn't "dramatic" but it was still a beautiful story of God's grace and redemption. I am honored to be a part of that!
What is YOUR story of His wonderful deed? Use the hashtag #HisWonderfulDeeds on social media and share it with the world! (Be sure to tag me @everleighcompany so I can see)
Give Thanks to the Lord: Recounting the Ordinary Tales of His Extraordinary Deeds [Day 02]
Jun 07, 2017
Show notes
This week and next, I invite YOU to share your ordinary tales of His extraordinary deeds.
Let's be a body of Christ who come together and share all the great things He has done for us.
Share your story today with #HisWonderfulDeeds (and be sure to tag me @everleighcompany); let's FLOOD social media with His great deeds so that the body of Christ can marvel at His greatness together and that nonbelievers can see that He is GOOD.
When God prepares for you what you need BEFORE you even realize your need, you can only stand in awe and praise God for His Goodness.
Today, I'll be sharing how God provided us with a HOUSE shortly after we were married.
When Grant and I got married, we were living in a 2-bedroom apartment. All was well but it was time to think about other options, because my brother was gonna stay with us and go to the university in town.
We either needed to get a 3-bedroom apartment or get a house.
A 3-bedroom apartment would've been really expensive for this overpriced college town. However, I did not want to get a mortgage when we were trying to pay off our student loans.
But God Knew What We Needed
One day we were visiting friends at the house that Grant used to live in when he was in college, and they told him he had some mail - one of which was from the retirement account Grant had when he was working for the university.
When he saw how much he had in the account, his jaw dropped and the wheels started turning:
The money in the retirement account could be used as a down payment because we were first time homeowners and - guess what - the amount is exactly the down payment we needed to afford a house!
#whaaaaa
Here's what was amazing about this whole thing:
1) If our friend had already moved out of the house, we wouldn't have been visiting them, which means that the mail would probably have been tossed away. Gone forever.
2) AND If God hadn't provided Grant with a job at the university to begin with, he wouldn't have had a retirement account.
3) God made Grant work at the university for just long enough and for the retirement money to compound just enough that it covered the down payment for a starter home!
CRAZY!!
Even though our house is a fixer upper, it is nothing like what you'd see on Pinterest, but how God provided this house for us is much more beautiful than anything that'll perish!
This is my recounting of the ordinary tales of His extraordinary deeds.
What will YOU recount today? Share with #HisWonderfullDeeds on social media today (and tag me @everleighcompany!)
Give Thanks to the Lord: Recounting the Ordinary Tales of His Extraordinary Deeds
Jun 05, 2017
Show notes
I will give thanks to the LORD with my whole heart; I will recount all of your wonderful deeds
— Psalm 9:1
We have a 2.5-year-old in the house, since before he could talk, we've been trying to teach him to give thanks whenever people give him gifts or do him a favor. It's been so sweet that we've seen the fruit of the training; often times he will say "thank you" without even us prompting him to.
For a lot of us, we've also been trained at a young age to say "thank you" to people. But what about God? What about when God showers us with blessings and makes all things work for our good? Quite frankly we don't always give Him the thanksgiving He deserves.
In light of that, in the next couple of weeks, we are going to anchor in this verse Psalm 9:1. We are going to give thanks to the Lord with our whole heart. We are going to recount all of His wonderful deeds. I encourage you to participate. Let's fill our minds with thanksgiving; let's flood social media with His wonderful deeds so people, especially those who don't know Him yet, will see that He is good. When you share on social media, be sure to use the hashtag #HisWonderfulDeeds so I can see your posts and give thanks with you!! Let's do this!!
My Tale of His Extraordinary Deeds
Today I'm going to recount His extraordinary deeds in how He orchestrated my life to bring me closer to Him. I was born and raised in Hong Kong but I finally gave my life to Jesus at the age of 21 in Iowa City, IA. That's 7712miles from where I grew up. There are several instances (that I know of) that led me to Iowa City. This is my attempt to recount his wondrous deeds.
Instance 1
In late 1980's, there was an immigration wave in Hong Kong. To give you a little background, Hong Kong at this point had been a colony of the British government for about 90 years. The agreement between the Chinese government and the British government was that Britain would return Hong Kong to China after a 99-year 'lease'. In 1989, the two governments finalized their plans to return Hong Kong to China, people started to panic. The people in Hong Kong ware afraid of the changes that could take place because of the switch. So, if people could afford to immigrant, they would. My parents were seriously considering moving to another country as well. In fact, they were talking with an immigration attorney and had begun the paperwork process to move to Canada. I could have been a Canadian and I could've had a totally different life story should my parents continued with that process. But my father backed out, considering all the hardships that would come with immigrating to a different country speaking a language he was not fluent in. And so, we stayed in Hong Kong.
Instance 2
I went to Catholic schools pretty much all my life (except for college). I remember distinctively sitting in a Religious Studies class in 5th grade, hearing about these Bible stories, and thinking, "these are just fictions; they're not real." I was definitely blinded to see God but God turned things 180 later in my life, which I will get to in just a little bit.
Instance 3
Not long after, I started to become obsessed with everything US-related: Hollywood movies, TV shows, music, I even subscribed to popular teen magazines. Up until this point, I was taught British English AND I was not good in English at all; I flunked many of my tests and quizzes. But, because of my US-obsession, I began to teach myself American English. I listened to an American radio
Instance 4
Around 8th/9th grade, I was determined to leave my hometown Hong Kong. The highly competitive academic environment in my hometown was just too much. I wanted to study somewhere with a slower pace and where they speak English. I looked into England, Australia, Canada and, of course... the US. England was too expensive, Australia was all right, Canada was too cold, and the US was not cheap but I had relatives in California - perfect. And so I had my heart set on going to California for college.
Instance 5
Around the same time I was preparing to go to the US, God put in my life a dear friend who was (and still is) a faithful follower of Jesus. Her name is Stephanie. Even though my heart was hard, for years she'd encourage me to seek Christ; when it was time for me to leave Hong Kong for college, she gave me her Bible, which I've kept all this time.
Instance 6
My road to California was not smooth sailing... I had to convince my dad.Fearing this was an impulsive decision and ended up with lots of wasted money, my dad was reluctant in letting me go. (I don't blame him - I told my parents I wanted to take piano lessons when I was in 3rd grade. They bought me a piano and put me in lessons; 3 short years later I was done and the piano sat in the living room collecting dust...) But my mother convinced him of my determination to study abroad - it wan't gonna be a short-lived passion of mine because I had made so much preparation ahead of time. I had to study for tests, apply for a visa, research what colleges to apply to, fill out the applications, figure out the accommodation, etc. Because of that, my dad granted me permission.
Instance 7
In July 2007, I boarded a plane headed out for the infamous Southern California. I was so excited but also so nervous - I had been a sheltered little girl at this point and I was gonna face the world on my own. Turned out, my time in California was not like what I had imagined. I had trouble finding people I could talk to/relate to; I was by myself a lot. I waslonely. I was desperate for friends. On top of that, my relationship with my host family/landlord was awful; we had lots of miscommunication and we didn't handle conflicts well. And then there was also other issues with family. So my dream of studying/living in California turned out to be some of the loneliest and most depressed time of my life. But God had a purpose for this. If I didn't have as crappy of a time as I did in California, I wouldn't have left. By the time my sophomore year rolled around, I wanted to leave. So I applied to transfer to any colleges not in California. Oregon... Iowa... Virginia... Pennsylvania... these were all contenders.
Instance 8
After months of college transfer application and waiting, Oregon and Iowa accepted me. I was gonna go to Oregon because it sounded cooler. But my mom kept telling me that Iowa had a better business school (which was what I was going for). I remember getting on Iowa's website and looking at the pictures (because at this point I had never been to Iowa and so of course the pictures would give me a good judgment of what it's like there.), I could feel a sudden heart change. It was weird. It was like someone flipped a light switch; all of a sudden, I'm now quite okay with the idea of going to a school in the middle of nowhere. Looking back now, I can confidently say it was God who changed my heart in that moment.
Instance 9
My first year at Iowa, I applied to live in the dorms - because I had never lived in a dorm before and it sounded like an experience you must have when you're in college. I opted in for getting my roommates randomly chosen for me because I knew nobody at Iowa, which turned out to be one of the best decisions ever. I met Emma, who has been a dear friend since. She was the friend I had been searching for for the last couple of years. She was friendly and genuinely wanted to get to know me. She took me to Cru, a Christian college ministry, and introduced me to her friends - including my now-husband - I finally found friends that I had been longing for at Cru. They weren't cold and distant; they were warm and caring. Even though I was still hard-headed about God at the time, I kept going back to Cru because of them.
Instance 10
I hung out with my friends from Cru a lot, which God used to show me of His existence. In my first semester at Iowa, I became more and more curious about God. How my friends lived their lives for God sparked a thought in me, "maybe there IS a God." As the days went by, I asked Emma more and more questions. During that winter break, Grant (my now husband) introduced me to Chelsy. Our friendship grew quickly. A few short weeks after we initially met, Chelsy answered more spiritual questions of mine for three HOURS and at the end of it I accepted Christ into my heart. Chelsy has been such a dear friend and a mentor in my walk with Jesus, I wouldn't have been where I'm at in my faith without her influence.
Closing Thoughts
Bam. There it is. I finally saw my need for Christ and surrendered my life to Him.
I'm sure there are more great things God has done to bring me closer to Him; but as far as I can tell (and remember), this is how my story goes.
It has not been easy. Especially my time in California, but as hard as it was, in retrospect I'm so glad it happened. If I had had a great time in Cali, I wouldn't have left. If I didn't leave Cali, I wouldn't have met so many great friends (and my husband!) and I wouldn't have given my life to Jesus.
Through my story, I can tell you that God works all things for good, even if there was trials and sufferings at times.
Starting today, I invite YOU to share your ordinary tales of His extraordinary deeds.
Let's be a body of Christ who come together and share all the great things He has done for us.
Share your story today with #HisWonderfulDeeds (and be sure to tag me @everleighcompany); let's FLOOD social media with His great deeds so that the body of Christ can marvel at His greatness together and that nonbelievers can see that He is GOOD.
What will you share today?
When Someone Else's House is Better Than Yours
May 26, 2017
Show notes
I walked in to my friend's new house, immediately I thought, "their house is so much nicer than ours."
Catching myself for having such a thought, I pushed it aside and proceeded to chat with my friend and catch up on life. But as the conversation went on, I couldn't help but have these little sneaky thoughts that pop up in my head:
Look at that bright airy kitchen! Looks just like a Fixer Upper kitchen! There's so much room in here! We're about the same age and they could afford this house. If only we were more financially established, perhaps we could have afforded this.
Darn. Those. Thoughts.
I hated having those thoughts but pushing them off to the back of my mind doesn't work. I need to surrender them to the Lord.
Discontentment Loves Neglected Poisoning Thoughts
The little pop up thoughts I had at my friend's house? They're poisoning; they pollute my mind and if I don't confront them, they will breed discontentment. Instead of rejoicing always like we're commanded to in 1 Thessalonians 5:16, I'm now murmuring always.
If only I had been offered a higher paying job! If only God would give us another house! If only God would give us more money!
Instead of seeing what God has already given me as blessings, I see what God didn't give me and I blame God.
So what do we do with these annoying sinful thoughts? We surrender them at Jesus's feet.
take every thought captive to obey Christ
— 2 Corinthians 10:5
We can try to manage those thoughts; we can try to ignore them but nothing will kill discontentment until we take our thoughts captive.
When we lay our comparisons at Jesus's feet, we are telling God, "I'm sorry for losing sight of You, O Lord. Forgive me for ever forgetting the grace and the abundance You have lavished on me. Take these toxic thoughts out of me. You are my Shepherd. You give me what I need when I need it. I shall not want."
Friends, we are too blessed to be bogged down by our sinful comparison thoughts. We are too blessed that it'll be a shame we can't see how God has blessed us. Let's take our thoughts captive and surrender those toxic thoughts to Him.
Letting Go the Pride of Mothering
May 24, 2017
Show notes
This might be a hard pill to swallow. But I think it needs to be addressed, not to condemn you but to shed a light on something you might need to surrender to God.
As mothers, we are constantly giving to our children. There's no denying that we know more about our kids than other people, but when it seems like no one else can do a better job than we do, it gives pride a dangerous room to grow.
What is this pride of mothering?
The pride that only we - and us the mothers only - know how to take care of our kids. As a result we: a) become control freaks when other people, even our own husbands, are watching the kids, or b) we don't even allow other people to watch our kids because they won't do as good of a job as we do, or c) when someone is watching the kids and they make a mistake you become hyper critical.
Why do we have this pride?
An inflated or a deflated view of self leads to this pride.
When we have an inflated view of self, we believe that our way of mothering our children is more superior so much so that we will sin to protect it. For example, when you are away from the kids and your husband, or your mom or whoever, is watching the kids. You wonder what's going on at home; you wonder if your husband could handle your kids; you wonder if your husband has "messed up" the routine you've set up for your kids. I want you to take a step back and examine your heart - even if your husband is not caring for the kids the way you do it, does it mean his way is wrong? Is his way of caring sinful? If it is sinful, then you should absolutely have a talk with your husband. But if it's not, perhaps you should let it go.
On the flip side, when we have a deflated view of self, we are self-conscious about how we mother. We second-guess ourselves and it feels vulnerable, it feels uncomfortable. We don't like how it feels therefore we go into hyper-drive to keep this self-consciousness hidden through control and criticism. Anyone who threatens to unveil this insecurity will be deemed as enemy. I see this all the time on social media. One mom makes a particular mothering decision, another mom comes in and tears her apart. Every mom is different; every child is different; every family goes through different seasons of life that require making different choices. We need to accept that just because they don't make the same choice as you, it does not mean your choice is wrong.
The Antidote to Pride in Mothering
How should a Christian follower handle this pride? We must first:
Recognize that God is the giver of all and all that we are - He gives us blessings; He gives us wisdom and knowledge.
I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.
— John 15:5
Confess and Repent - When Jesus said "it is finished" on the cross, we were broken free from this chain of pride. The pride of mothering has no hold on us. Instead we have been clothed in Jesus's humility. Let's go to the throne of God, lay down our pride and put on the humility Jesus gave us.
Replace pride with humility - Through prayers and holding on to the truth, we can surrender our prideful hearts and God will fill them with humility instead.
For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.
— Romans 12:3
Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”
— 1 Peter 5:5
Cultivate a thanksgiving heart - Gratitude helps us give credit where credit is due. It helps us turn our eyes from self to God. Establish a habit where every time you do something, you will also say a prayer of thanksgiving. For example, every time you brush your teeth you thank God for the blessings He has given you. Or every time you get in the car you give Him praises for all that He has done for you. Determine a trigger so you can establish a habit of thanksgiving.
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.
— Philippians 4:4
Stay at Home Moms, Your Job is Not Any Less Important Than Your Husband's
May 18, 2017
Show notes
I had lies in my thought closet that contributed to me thinking I wasn't worthy; it made me think staying at home with the kids was not an important task. I thought my contribution to my family wasn't as important as my husband's.
I couldn't be more wrong.
Mama friend, your job is not any less important than your husband's. The contribution you're making to your family cannot be measured by dollar amounts. The treasure is stored up in heaven.
Your Heavenly Treasure Statement
Following the format of a bank statement, I'm going to show you how much treasure you're storing up in heaven.
Disciplining your child..............................Godly character development
Teaching your child about God.............Making disciples
Extending grace to your child...............A living testimony of God's Grace for your child
Forgiving your child..................................A living testimony of God's forgiveness for your child
Apologizing to your child when you mess up......God's humility on display
Taking care of a sick child.......................A living testimony of sacrificial and selfless love
Meal-prep and laundry.............................A living testimony of how God gives us our daily bread and clothes us
Comforting a teething baby...................A living testimony of how God comforts us
The list could go on and on... Mama friend, your job is not any less important than your husband's. Don't let Satan's lies tell you otherwise. Replace the lies with God's truth. What you do day in and day out has significance in it. You are a living testimony of God's character and His promises; that, my friend, is worthy more than silver and gold.
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