Your prescription for happier, healthier homeschooling. Christian psychologist, author, and homeschool mom of six Dr. Melanie Wilson shares research-backed, doable strategies for the things that steal your sanity — stress and burnout, time management, organization, motivation, and curriculum decisions — with plenty of encouragement along the way. For homeschooling parents who want calmer, more joyful days. Follow the show and homeschool with more sanity and grace.
How To Make The Most Of A New Homeschool Season
Aug 01, 2023
Show notes
In this podcast episode, Melanie Wilson discusses her 25 years of teaching her six kids and helping other families with their homeschooling journey. She reflects on her journey as a homeschooler and talks about her passion for speaking to homeschoolers, creating curriculum, and writing. She encourages listeners who are entering a new season of homeschooling, whether due to their child going off to college, starting a new job, or other life changes.
Melanie shares some tips for making the most of this new season. She suggests looking back and appreciating how far one has come in their homeschooling journey, considering the goals they had when starting homeschooling and whether they’ve achieved them, and reevaluating the curriculum, approaches, and activities they are using in their homeschool. She also emphasizes the importance of taking time to rest, evaluating priorities, and trying something new to keep homeschooling exciting and engaging.
Melanie wraps up the episode by inviting listeners to share their plans and experiences for the new season and highlights her upcoming video version of the podcast on YouTube.
Special Replay: How To Handle Your Tween Daughter’s Emotions
Jul 25, 2023
Show notes
Hey, homeschoolers!
This week I am creating a podcast based on a very popular guest post I wrote for LikeMindedMusings.com. Specifically, how to help your tween daughter handle her emotions. I’m looking forward to sharing some tips with you if you have a tween daughter, who also seems to have emotions, if you know what I mean.
But first, I wanted to share two things with you. I am going to be speaking at five Great Homeschool Conventions this year. I am so excited to meet you. I’ll be in Texas, South Carolina, Ohio, California, and Florida. Make sure you get registered at GreatHomeschoolConventions.com so we can chat!
The second thing I wanted to share is that I have begun answering reader questions on my YouTube channel. If you have a question you’d like me to answer, email me at Psychowith6@gmail.com or message me on social media. I won’t share your name or identifying details, but I can share the information with others who have the same question.
Sponsor
I want to thank the sponsor for this episode, Change in the Air. Change in the Air is a new film releasing Oct 19th that you won’t want to miss! A peaceful community is forever changed when a mysterious young woman moves in. As the quirky locals embrace her, their lives soon improve. But, they can’t help notice that their strange new neighbor has a secret…Change in the Air will release in select theaters, and digitally on Oct 19th. Go to ChangeInTheAirMovie.net to see if the film is playing near you, or purchase or rent it the day it comes out! Change in the Air – in theaters and digitally on Oct 19th.
Special Thanks to Our Network Sponsor – Change is in the Air Movie
This story embraces the imperfections that make us human, offers a way to set ourselves free and asks us all to take a good, long look at the wild birds in the sky.
Special Replay: 6 Back-to-Homeschool Mistakes Veteran Homeschoolers Don’t Make
Jul 18, 2023
Show notes
Hey homeschoolers! I hate to be the bearer of bad news for those of you who don’t homeschool year round. But yes, back to school is right around the corner. I have wise advice for making back to school the best it can be, whether you are a new or veteran homeschooler. This episode we will discuss six mistakes that veteran homeschoolers don’t make when it comes to back-to-school.
Sponsor – Truth Seekers Mystery Series
But first I would like to thank our sponsor– Truth Seekers Mysteries– for sponsoring the podcast.
Let’s face it, Christian kids are leaving their faith in droves despite all our best efforts. Until now! With the Truth Seekers Mystery Series, your children will become engrossed in a wonderful story that teaches about justice and how to defend their beliefs. Now you can spark your child’s interest in God’s wonderful Creation without even trying! Using a “novel” approach your children will race through hundreds of pages of heart-pounding mystery, suspense, and edge-of-your-seat adventure! There are three novels and study guides in the series. Visit the TruthSeekersMysterySeries.com.
1 (10 ounce) can diced tomatoes with green chile peppers drained
1 bag tortilla chips
1 bag shredded cheddar cheese
1 container light sour cream
Directions
Open the cans of corn, chicken broth, chunk chicken, black beans, and diced tomatoes with green chilies. Pour everything into a large saucepan or stock pot. Simmer over medium heat until chicken is heated through.
Amount Per Serving (6)
Calories: 214
Protein: 17.2g
Sugar: 2.7g
Carbohydrate: 27.2g
Fat: 4.9g
Cholesterol: 32mg
Sodium: 1482mg
Fiber: 6.7g
Powered by
If you’d like to make cooking a part of your homeschooling this year, consider the excellent Kids Cook Real Foods curriculum.
If you avoid these six back-to-school mistakes, you are well on your way having a peaceful and blessed back to homeschool. Have your curriculum, school space, special back-to-school surprise, meal plan, reasonable goals, and maintenance plans ready. That is my prayer for you.
Special Replay: Habits of the Organized Homeschool Mom
Jun 27, 2023
Show notes
📚 Part of our guide: Homeschool Organization
Hey homeschoolers!
This week we are discussing habits of the organized homeschool mom. If organization doesn’t come naturally to you as it doesn’t for me, I think you’ll enjoy this episode. First, if you haven’t listened to the last two episodes I did on planning, you’ll want listen to them first.
Organizing didn’t come naturally to me. I’ve had to learn it the hard way. But today I feel like I’m organized enough to do everything God has called me to do as a homeschooling mom. If you’d like to take a shorter journey to organization than I took, this article is for you. These are the habits of an organized homeschool mom.
Resources for Habits of the Organized Homeschool Mom
Where once it was challenging to find curriculum that worked well in a homeschool setting, now we’re tearing our hair out trying to decide what to buy and what to use once we buy it.
I attended a kindergarten graduation with my second son and was wowed by the kindergartners who performed musically for the ceremony. These children seemed so advanced. My son sat at the graduation, clearly not paying attention to the ceremony at all. It’s so ridiculous now, but I thought he and I were lacking something. That son ironically grew up to be an advanced student and a part of our church’s worship band. I didn’t begin pressing him to do more after that kindergarten graduation, but I could have. I could have let fear about not measuring up add to the burden of homeschooling instead of the joy of it.
I asked Diona to talk about The Organized Homeschool Life, which is a plan for helping us to be the organized homeschool moms God has called us to be. Listen to what she said on the podcast.
The Organized Homeschool Life book and planner will help you to create the habits of an organized homeschool mom. First, every day your planner will direct you to spend time with the Lord. Rather than having long lined pages to complete that aren’t realistic for busy moms like us, you’ll have a few lines on which to write your gratitude to God, the word you heard from God, and your response to Him in prayer. Even if all you do is just complete that part of your daily plan, you’ll feel connected to the Lord.
The next habit The Organized Homeschool Life helps you develop is routines. Each day you’ll create a basic schedule for your day. You’ll be guided in the process of creating a routine with a helpful printable. Once you’ve created a workable routine, creating a loose schedule of specific tasks for the day will be easy and gratifying.
The third habit The Organized Homeschool Life helps us develop is decluttering. You’ll be challenged to declutter after Christmas, to declutter bedrooms, clothing, used curriculum, and the places in your home that tend to collect clutter. In the Organized Homeschool Life Facebook group, you’ll receive prompts to remind you to keep up your decluttering habit.
The Organized Homeschool Life also helps you have realistic expectations. Each challenge is made up of four steps that take just 15 minutes each. You’ll be amazed by how much you can do in such a short period of time. The Organized Homeschool Life Planner includes space for your organizing task of the day, so you’re reminded to stay on track with these missions or other organizing tasks you need to do.
In studying my own productivity for a year, I found that on average I completed just six tasks a day, aside from my routine tasks. That’s why there is space for just six tasks on your daily planning page. It feels amazing to complete your task list for the day and not feel like a failure because you haven’t done all 30 of the items on your overly long list.
Finally, The Organized Homeschool Life is a plan. You can develop your own plan for organizing your homeschool life or you can save yourself time and use or tweak mine. The Organized Homeschool Life gives you a starting point. Each week, the four steps of the challenge for the week are outlined for you in a very short read in the book. The weekly planning page in the planner lists the steps for the week, allowing you to plan when to do them. The planner is organized into months and weeks but isn’t dated, so you can start organizing your homeschool life at any time.
I want homeschooling moms have the peace and joy that I have in planning an organized homeschool life. That is why from now through November 17th, 2018, you can gift yourself both the book and planner at launch pricing. Whether you prefer digital books and planners or you love having a printed book and beautifully spiral-bound planner to use, you’ll find both here.
[button link=”https://grammargalaxybooks.com/product-category/Homeschool/” type=”big” color=”orange” newwindow=”yes”] Organize me![/button]
Not sure you can keep up the organizing habit? Be sure to check out How to Keep the Happy Planning Going. You can also give The Organized Homeschool Life book and planner a try with the Christmas Planning challenge. You’ll receive sample pages that will tell you if the The Organized Homeschool Life is for you before the sale is over. Click the image at Homeschool Sanity to sign up for it.
Which of these habits has been the biggest struggle for you? Comment and let me know.
Special Replay: How To Make The Most Of The Rest Of Summer
Jun 20, 2023
Show notes
Hey homeschoolers! We are already well into July, and if you’re like me, you feel like summer is slipping away. Fortunately, we can still make the most of it. I’ll explain how.
Before I do, I want to thank my sponsor for this episode CTC math.
The lessons are taught the traditional way, not to a “test”.
Each one of the video tutorials is taught by an internationally acclaimed teacher, Pat Murray, who is renowned for teaching math concepts in a simple, easy-to-understand way (and in only a few minutes at a time). CTC Math uses a multi-sensory approach, having the combination of effective graphics and animation synchronized with the voice of a friendly teacher together with practical assessment. This three-pronged attack makes learning so much easier and more effective. Even students who struggled with math are getting fantastic results! And ones who were doing OK before are now doing brilliantly.
Test Prep For Homeschoolers
Jun 13, 2023
Show notes
If your homeschooler is going to be taking a standardized test soon, do you know the best way to prepare? This is The Homeschool Sanity Show, the episode where my guest shares some lesser known insights and tips to put you and your student at ease.
Hey, homeschoolers! I had the chance to interview one of my favorite people for the podcast again–Dennis DiNoia of Mr. D. Math. We first became acquainted when my son enrolled in his ACT Math prep course. My son was so impressed with his teaching style and so was I. I then ended up meeting him at Great Homeschool Conventions, where in one instance he came to my rescue with his audiovisual equipment. He is not only a brilliant math teacher but one of the nicest people on the planet. Here’s a link to a previous podcast episode:
Your Top Homeschool Parenting Questions, Answered
May 30, 2023
Show notes
Do you wish you could ask a Christian homeschooling psychologist a parenting question? This is The Homeschool Sanity Show, the episode where I answer the most common parenting questions I receive.
Hey, homeschoolers! Most of the questions I’ve received in my personal and professional life center around parenting. As a parent myself, I understand that. We live in an age that has parents terrified of making mistakes and being blamed for any and everything that can go wrong in their children’s lives. Apart from that fear, we have the earnest desire to love and teach our children well.
While I didn’t begin this podcast or my time as a speaker thinking I would focus on parenting, I have found that I enjoy answering these questions. My prayer is that you’ll have some of your questions answered in this episode. If you have other questions, please don’t hesitate to send them my way via email (melaniephd@gmail.com) or on social media messages (@homeschoolsanity). I am happy to respond individually.
So, let’s jump in to six of the most popular questions I’ve answered over the years.
#1 Am I disciplining the right way?
This question comes after an explanation of a child’s problem behavior and a description of what the parent has done to address it that has improved the behavior.
The short answer to this question is YES. If you are responding to a child’s behavior problem in a way that is working, albeit imperfectly, then yes, you are disciplining the right way. I haven’t had to say no to this because no parent has ever described an abusive response with this question and no parent has said, “And I just ignore the problem behavior.”
The other reason my answer is yes is because you’re the authority on whether or not a disciplinary approach is working and appropriate for your family. I once fell for the lie that I couldn’t be trusted to know the best approach for each of my kids, just as I thought I couldn’t be trusted to know the best way to homeschool my kids. I thought I needed an expert to tell me. I didn’t and you don’t. If what you’re doing is working and it feels right to you, continue on. If it’s making things worse or you feel guilty about it, try something new.
#2 How can I discipline when my spouse isn’t on board?
The truth is most parents don’t phrase this in the form of a question. They say, “I CAN’T discipline because my spouse isn’t on board.” My answer is that it’s ideal to have you and your spouse on the same page with discipline. But it isn’t necessary for you to discipline in a way that works and feels good to you. Any time our kids aren’t with us and under our authority, they will likely be dealing with a different disciplinary approach. Outside teachers, coaches, grandparents, babysitters, and divorced or separated parents are probably not going to be on the same page with discipline. Of course, that doesn’t mean we throw up are hands in despair and drop discipline entirely.
It is always worthwhile to discuss discipline with your spouse when you have different ideas about how to approach it. But in these discussions our number one focus has to be humility. That is true even when your spouse is making what you think are obvious mistakes. Let’s consider a common scenario. You want to calmly use specific consequences for misbehavior, but when the kids act out, your husband yells instead. Instead of lecturing your husband about the negative effects of yelling and his need for self-control, dig deeper during a quiet discussion. Find out what is driving his frustration.
It’s possible it has little to do with the kids’ behavior. Is it a desire for quiet when he gets home from work? Is it being met with a mess or dinner being delayed on a regular basis? It could be problems at work, with extended family, with finances, or with his health driving his frustration. But it could also be as simple as his feeling out of control when the kids misbehave. Many disciplinary problems come from lack of options. If your husband doesn’t know exactly what to do or say, he will go for what has worked in the past–yelling.
If your spouse doesn’t have a disciplinary plan, you can humbly describe what you’re trying to do and the results you’ve seen with it. You can ask your spouse how you can support him in disciplining so you can be a team. I’ve heard from more than one father that they are frustrated when their disciplinary efforts are undermined by mom with excuses for the child or telling the child that the consequences Dad gave won’t stand. If you have a problem with Dad’s discipline in a specific instance, go to him privately and humbly ask him to reconsider. When he calms down, he may change his mind about consequences. I’m going to offer a disclaimer here that I am not talking about abuse. If your spouse is abusing your children, get legal and professional help to protect them. That is a parent’s responsibility.
But apart from that, if your spouse still doesn’t agree on discipline, carry on. You will do more to influence him by modeling your approach to discipline than debating him. And your children will benefit far more than if you give up on discipline completely.
#3 My child has special needs. How can I discipline?
This is the hardest question I get because I don’t know. I have given options that will work for most neurotypical children but could backfire with some children on the spectrum. But even if I had an approach for kids on the spectrum, kids with ADHD, kids with sensory processing disorders, and more, your child would likely be unique. As much as I’d like this to be easy, it’s not. You’re going to have to be a student of your child. Experiment. What works? What doesn’t? What are the circumstances when things go well and when they don’t? I have every confidence that you are the perfect person to find a discipinary approach that’s a good fit for your child.
But there’s a variation of this question that I want to address too. I get the “My child has OCD, ADD, and ODD and I’ve taken them to all these specialists and nothing works. I can’t discipline this child.” I’m going to be straight with you on this question. I don’t think that particular parent wants me to offer up a magic strategy because when I do give suggestions, I immediately hear why they won’t work. I think this question comes from a place of frustration, exhaustion, and fear of being blamed. There is no doubt that there are children who are very difficult to discipline. They have iron wills and don’t seem to care about punishments. The run-of-the-mill strategies will not work. I have compassion for these parents. But I also know that it can get worse–much, much worse. If there is no discipline, this child (who likely already feels out of control) will believe that not even his parents can get him under control. Children see discipline as love and all of them need it. When we withhold it, they feel unloved and will act out.
My advice is to keep loving, keep disciplining, and keep studying your child. The book The Defiant Child is an excellent help as well. Consider professional help as an adjunct to what you’re doing.
#4 My child doesn’t understand or agree with my plan or discipline. What do I do?
My answer to this question is to imagine an adult authority asking this. Would a police officer complain that people don’t understand the law or agree that they should be ticketed, so there’s nothing they can do? Would an IRS agent complain that people just don’t understand or agree with the tax law and can’t be audited and fined? No. We don’t have to understand and agree to be under authority and neither do our children. They just have to respect and obey. That doesn’t mean that we don’t explain our rules, particularly to older children, and it doesn’t mean that we don’t hear them out if they offer their opinion respectfully. But ultimately, we decide. We are the ones accountable to God for their upbringing. If we allow our kids’ obstinance to dissuade us, we lose our kids’ respect. Stay strong and you will reap a harvest of righteousness.
#5 I keep having to take things away from my misbehaving child. There’s almost nothing left!
This is a common problem with strong-willed children. We get into a cycle of punishing misbehavior. The strong-willed child wants to prove that she won’t be broken, so she misbehaves again. The trouble is this cycle can convince a child that she is a problem child and she will begin to live out of that identity. A deep-seated fear of being unloved and rejected adds fuel to the fire.
We want to interrupt that cycle. We will not change a child’s strong will. But we can help our child see that strong will as a blessing. We can love and affirm our child in that strong will. If we are caught up in the punishment cycle, we want to develop a praise and reward cycle instead. Affirm your child’s positive behaviors, no matter how small. Give this child responsibility and tell her you know she will do a great job with it. Give this child physical affection if they are open to it. Make goals easily achievable at first. Instead of asking your child to exhibit positive behavior for a day or a week, ask for 15 minutes. Give a desired reward and be excited about this positive step. When you do have to give consequences for misbehavior, make it clear that you know your child will learn from it and will get back on track. There is a lot more to say about parenting strong-willed children, but I’ll leave it with this short answer for now.
#6 Why is my child behaving this way?
It could be misbehavior, a strong will, reluctance to learn, anxiety, depression, or sibling conflict that drives the question. Unfortunately, once again I don’t have an answer for you. You’ll have to study your child, and it will take time. But I can give you some of the most common reasons for childhood behavior problems for you to explore.
First, deal with the marriage. If there is a problem in the marriage, children’s behavior will often be a reaction to it. Children are understandably afraid of their parents getting divorced. They feel anger at one or both parents whom they perceive to be the source of the problem. And they will mirror any disrespect they see on display between mom and dad. If you’re having problems, be honest about it and tell your kids what you’re going to do about it. Denial of difficulties does more harm to a child’s mental health than divorce, in my experience. As far as it depends on you, honor your spouse in your communication. Get help with or without your spouse.
Second, deal with your own mental health. An anxious or depressed parent can prompt anxiety or hopelessness for their kids. Once again, what’s most important is to be honest about what’s happening. Don’t deny it and tell your kids what you’re doing about it. Get professional help if self-help approaches haven’t worked.
Third, be open to feedback about your parenting from others. Ask another homeschool mom or another trusted friend or family member who loves you what they notice about your parenting and your kids. This is incredibly challenging to do, but it may be the most valuable thing you can do if you’re struggling. If you’re brave enough to do it and what they say hits hard, take time to pray about it before deciding if it’s legitimate or not. If you don’t want to do this, consider parents you know who are struggling and what you see as the obvious problem and solution. They don’t ask you and you don’t tell them, or you dance around the issue. Alternatively, see a professional for family therapy.
Fourth, consider a professional evaluation for your child. Undiagnosed physical or learning challenges can contribute to behavior problems. Children often choose to seem defiant rather than unintelligent. Getting a diagnosis may seem limiting for your child, but it can actually be liberating. You’ll then have tools and support to help your kids maximize their potential.
Even without a professional’s help, you can seek to understand your child’s beliefs. We all act in accordance with our beliefs. For example, if your child believes that an older sibling is the smart one and there is no point in trying to achieve, you can address that. If your child believes a sibling prefers playing with another sibling over her, she will cause conflict in the relationship. The kinds of discussions that can uncover these limiting beliefs require time and patience and prayer, but you can build a healing bond with your child in the process.
Conclusion
I hope this Q&A has been helpful to you. If it has, I’d love to have you share it with a homeschooling friend. I have great confidence in you to overcome any challenges in your parenting with God’s help. I still rely on His help as I seek to coach six young adult kids.
How To Get Your Kids Interested In Missions
May 23, 2023
Show notes
Do you hope that your kids will be involved in missions? This is the Homeschool Sanity Show–the episode where my guest shares practical ideas for inspiring even young children to serve as missionaries to a hurting world.
Hey, homeschoolers! With a full-time missionary in the family, we had plenty of mission inspiration in our homeschool. Between my sister-in-law and church-sponsored trips, our kids have served and ministered to people in Kenya, Tanzania, Mexico, the states, and locally and they have been blessed in the work.
Wayne graduated with a PhD in New Testament from the University of Pretoria in South Africa, where he served until 2008 as pastor and teacher with a passion for youth, retreats, and missions. Since 2009 he has served in the States as pastor, an adjunct professor of Indiana Wesleyan University, and an instructor of Perspectives on the World Christian Movement. His passion for missions led to the founding of One Plus God Ministries in October of 2013. He has been married since 1993 to his wife Somari, and they have two children, Shana and Nicky. Wynand believes that Christ-centered marriages, families, and businesses can leave strong spiritual legacies behind, and that partnership with the Lord and one another is our strength to bring about global, transformational change to God’s glory.
I hope you are inspired by our conversation.
How to Get Your Kids Interested in Missions Recap
In this episode of Homeschool Sanity, Melanie Wilson interviews Wayne de Wet, a missionary and founder of One Plus God Ministries. They discuss the importance of teaching children about missions and practical ways to do so.
De Wet shares an analogy of attending a baseball game with a friend who loves the sport but failing to enjoy it himself. He relates it to the challenge of teaching children about missions, a commandment of Jesus that is often taught but not fully implemented. De Wet suggests that understanding and experiencing missions is the key to making it a part of one’s life.
He offers several practical ideas for homeschooling parents, including using resources like the Joshua Project, Operation World, and Wycliffe Bible Translators, reading missionary stories with children, and going on mission trips. De Wet also introduces a new resource developed by his organization, One Plus God Ministries, called OpieG, which uses four missions principles to teach children about missions.
Wilson and De Wet discuss the importance of contentment and how it can be modeled and taught to children. De Wet also shares his daughter’s experience of going on a mission trip and how it impacted her life.
The podcast episode ends with a prayer for parents to catch God’s heart for missions and teach their children to do the same.
Why You Don’t Have To Homeschool The Best Way
May 09, 2023
Show notes
Have you spent a lot of time trying to determine the best way to homeschool like I have? This is The Homeschool Sanity Show–the episode where I will argue that trying to homeschool the best way may not give you homeschool sanity.
Hey, homeschoolers! Last episode, I talked about why you don’t have to get caught up. This episode I’ll share why you don’t have to homeschool the best way.
Trying to homeschool the best way may not give you the homeschool sanity you crave. Instead, assess the options in light of:
How To Teach Leadership Skills At Home
Apr 25, 2023
Show notes
Have you intentionally taught leadership skills in your homeschool? Have you wondered how to do that as a homeschool parent? This is the Homeschool Sanity Show, the episode where my guest shares practical tips for training young leaders.
This Week’s Homeschool Sanity Guest
Hey, homeschoolers! My guest for this episode is Clara Stacko. Clara is a homeschool mom and bilingual native Spanish speaker who has taught Spanish to homeschoolers for more than a decade. She offers Spanish classes on her website SimplyTeachingSpanish.com.
Clara and I discussed the importance of teaching leadership skills, how we should think about teaching these skills to kids who aren’t natural leaders, and some practical ideas for learning leadership as homeschoolers. I hope you come away with new inspiration.
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Stay Connected
If your homeschooler is going to be taking a standardized test soon, do you know the best way to prepare? This is The Homeschool Sanity Show, the episode where my guest shares some lesser known insights and tips to put you and your student at ease.
Do you wish you could ask a Christian homeschooling psychologist a parenting question? This is The Homeschool Sanity Show, the episode where I answer the most common parenting questions I receive.
Have you spent a lot of time trying to determine the best way to homeschool like I have? This is The Homeschool Sanity Show–the episode where I will argue that trying to homeschool the best way may not give you homeschool sanity.
Have you intentionally taught leadership skills in your homeschool? Have you wondered how to do that as a homeschool parent? This is the Homeschool Sanity Show, the episode where my guest shares practical tips for training young leaders.
