Your prescription for happier, healthier homeschooling. Christian psychologist, author, and homeschool mom of six Dr. Melanie Wilson shares research-backed, doable strategies for the things that steal your sanity — stress and burnout, time management, organization, motivation, and curriculum decisions — with plenty of encouragement along the way. For homeschooling parents who want calmer, more joyful days. Follow the show and homeschool with more sanity and grace.
The lessons are taught the traditional way, not to a “test”.
Each one of the video tutorials is taught by an internationally acclaimed teacher, Pat Murray, who is renowned for teaching math concepts in a simple, easy-to-understand way (and in only a few minutes at a time). Using a multi-sensory approach having the combination of effective graphics and animation synchronized with the voice of a friendly teacher together with practical assessment. This three-pronged attack makes learning so much easier and more effective. Even students who struggled with math are getting fantastic results! And ones who were doing OK before are now doing brilliantly.
View homeschool retirement as a new season, not a sad one Continue teaching and mentoring your children even after homeschooling Invest in your marriage and spend time developing the relationship Cultivate non-homeschooling friendships and maintain a social circle Consider different options for work after homeschooling Explore new hobbies and continue learning for personal growth
Is Online Learning An Option For Your Homeschool?
Aug 20, 2024
Show notes
Hey, homeschoolers! Are you incorporating online learning into your homeschool this year? Should you? That wasn’t even an option when I started homeschooling in 1999. But now it is, and I’m so excited to share an interview I did with online learning platform founder Amir Nathoo.
The lessons are taught the traditional way, not to a “test”.
Each one of the video tutorials is taught by an internationally acclaimed teacher, Pat Murray, who is renowned for teaching math concepts in a simple, easy-to-understand way (and in only a few minutes at a time). Using a multi-sensory approach having the combination of effective graphics and animation synchronized with the voice of a friendly teacher together with practical assessment. This three-pronged attack makes learning so much easier and more effective. Even students who struggled with math are getting fantastic results! And ones who were doing OK before are now doing brilliantly.
Online learning provides choice and personalization for homeschooling families.
Outschool offers a wide range of classes taught by diverse teachers.
The flexibility of Outschool’s schedule allows families to engage as much or as little as they want.
Outschool is a suitable platform for learners with different abilities and learning challenges.
The pay-per-class model of Outschool provides families with control over their education expenses.
I forgot to ask Amir about where prospective teachers should go if they’re interested for the recording, but he told me you would go to Outschool.com/teach.
Please let me know if you enroll in a class or decide to offer one after hearing this episode.
How to Change Your Homeschool Life
Aug 13, 2024
Show notes
Hey, homeschoolers! I’ve always been fascinated by life change, thus my pursuit of a career in psychology. But psychology alone didn’t produce the changes I desired in my life. And what’s funny to me is that I can only share steps for how to change your homeschool life in hindsight. I didn’t have a plan. So if you’d like some things to change in your homeschool life, stay tuned for what I learned along the way.
The lessons are taught the traditional way, not to a “test”.
Each one of the video tutorials is taught by an internationally acclaimed teacher, Pat Murray, who is renowned for teaching math concepts in a simple, easy-to-understand way (and in only a few minutes at a time). Using a multi-sensory approach having the combination of effective graphics and animation synchronized with the voice of a friendly teacher together with practical assessment. This three-pronged attack makes learning so much easier and more effective. Even students who struggled with math are getting fantastic results! And ones who were doing OK before are now doing brilliantly.
I took the first step in changing my homeschool life before I even began homeschooling. I made a daily appointment with the king and worked to believe Him for the changes I wanted to see in my life.
The second step was added to that cornerstone: building routines. You’ve heard me say it many times, but if there is something new you want to do, pair it with a routine task.
The fourth step was self-care. The first three steps are part of self-care. But I had to prioritize time for exercise and hobbies and unscheduled time. Women who feel burdened by obligations are most likely to overeat. I don’t have research, but I believe they’re also most likely to be angry.
The fifth step was self-talk. Still working on this. If we silently tell ourselves that we’re lazy, unlovable, or undisciplined, our minds will seek to fulfill this prophecy. Whatever it is you want to change (even if it’s your kids behavior), change the way you talk to yourself about it first.
If God can change my homeschool life, He can change yours too. With daily devotions, routines, relationships time, self-care, and positive self-talk, you may wonder at that the changes just as I do.
Thanks again to CTC Math for sponsoring the podcast.
Should You Add Dance To Your Homeschool Activities?
Aug 06, 2024
Show notes
Hey, homeschoolers! I grew up in a rural area where no one I knew took dance classes. Dance was confined to occasional, awkward PE classes. Our nieces were into competitive dance and acro, however, so when I had a preschool-aged daughter of my own, I was excited to enroll her in dance.
She enjoyed it, but it was an expensive, time-consuming activity for what amounted to a photo op that I could have set up for free. She ended up more interested in gymnastics, soccer, softball, swimming, and volleyball. So she certainly wasn’t bored.
My son also learned how to tap dance in weeks for a role in a high school musical. He practiced on a piece of plywood in our living room. Everyone was impressed with the results.
You now have the extent of my dance background. So I hadn’t thought much about the value of dance to a homeschool education or how to incorporate it until I touched base with Courtney Sabin, a homeschool graduate herself and founder of YouDance.com. If you’re curious about dance, I think you’ll enjoy our conversation.
The lessons are taught the traditional way, not to a “test”.
Each one of the video tutorials is taught by an internationally acclaimed teacher, Pat Murray, who is renowned for teaching math concepts in a simple, easy-to-understand way (and in only a few minutes at a time). Using a multi-sensory approach having the combination of effective graphics and animation synchronized with the voice of a friendly teacher together with practical assessment. This three-pronged attack makes learning so much easier and more effective. Even students who struggled with math are getting fantastic results! And ones who were doing OK before are now doing brilliantly.
Incorporating dance into homeschooling can enhance cognitive development, emotional well-being, and physical fitness.
Providing a safe and wholesome environment for children to learn and enjoy dance is crucial.
Flexible scheduling and access to a variety of dance styles are advantages for homeschoolers.
YouDance.com offers a membership model with all-access to dance classes and focuses on bringing more movement, creativity, and joy to homeschooling families.
3 Motivational States For Homeschoolers
Jul 16, 2024
Show notes
Hey, homeschoolers! Whether you are interested in motivating yourself or your children, understanding the three motivational states described in Mark Forster’s book How to Make Your Dreams Come True will help you achieve your goal.
The lessons are taught the traditional way, not to a “test”.
Each one of the video tutorials is taught by an internationally acclaimed teacher, Pat Murray, who is renowned for teaching math concepts in a simple, easy-to-understand way (and in only a few minutes at a time). Using a multi-sensory approach having the combination of effective graphics and animation synchronized with the voice of a friendly teacher together with practical assessment. This three-pronged attack makes learning so much easier and more effective. Even students who struggled with math are getting fantastic results! And ones who were doing OK before are now doing brilliantly.
– Push mode involves pushing ourselves and our kids to achieve goals through scheduling, planning, consequences, and accountability. – Drift Mode occurs when we reject Push mode and seek downtime and freedom, but it can lead to feeling sluggish and demoralized. – Pull Mode is about using inspiration and connecting goals to personal interests and passions. – Strategies for push mode include scheduling, planning, using consequences, and accountability. – Strategies for pull mode include describing and visualizing goals, connecting goals to personal interests, and consuming motivational content. – Finding a balance between Push Mode, Drift Mode, and Pull Mode is important for maintaining motivation in homeschooling.
Special Replay: The Tyranny Of Not Enough
Jun 26, 2024
Show notes
📚 Part of our guide: Homeschool Burnout
Hey, homeschoolers!
A homeschool mom posted on Facebook, “I bake homemade bread … but not enough.” I saw in her what I so often see in myself and other homeschool moms: the tyranny of not enough. Whatever we accomplish is immediately invalidated, whether we say it out loud or not.
We might think it’s no big deal. Maybe our “not enough” is just being humble and recognizing that we’re works in progress. But there are three negative side effects of “not enough” thinking that I want to share with you. Then I want to tell you how we can break free from this kind of thinking.
The lessons are taught the traditional way, not to a “test”.
Each one of the video tutorials is taught by an internationally acclaimed teacher, Pat Murray, who is renowned for teaching math concepts in a simple, easy-to-understand way (and in only a few minutes at a time). Using a multi-sensory approach having the combination of effective graphics and animation synchronized with the voice of a friendly teacher together with practical assessment. This three-pronged attack makes learning so much easier and more effective. Even students who struggled with math are getting fantastic results! And ones who were doing OK before are now doing brilliantly.
The first problem with “not enough” thinking is that it’s discouraging.
I shared in a previous episode about two kinds of coaches. There’s the “not enough” coach who is always yelling at you to do better and then there’s the coach who looks for any positive actions and praises them. If you’re familiar with the movie Karate Kid, this is Sensei Reese coaching. Some personalities will respond to a “not enough” coach. They will push themselves outside of their comfort zone in response and may believe that this is the best kind of coaching. My husband is one of the people who responds to this.
However, what some people don’t realize is that you can get the same results with a positive coach. Mr. Myagi was a positive coach. Although he had Daniel working hard, he never told him he wasn’t doing enough. Positive coaching also motivates and pushes people outside of their comfort zone. I will work for hours and hours for the positive feedback of a coach I respect.
If you work harder and still hear the “not enough” coach in your head, you might do even more. But if the only feedback you get for giving more is repeatedly negative, you’re going to be discouraged. You are likely to quit.
Let’s use an example. You might decide that to get your schooling done by your chosen quitting time that you need to start school earlier. You manage to start school 15 minutes earlier with your elementary students, which I know from experience is amazing. But you think about what you accomplished and you still didn’t get it all done. “It’s not enough,” you tell yourself. You might decide to start another 15 minutes earlier or go another 15 minutes longer. Under the tyranny of not enough, you will find yourself in a negative spiral where you either burn the candle at both ends or end up defeated in your homeschooling.
Of course, the tyranny of not enough doesn’t just affect us. It also impacts our kids. Without realizing it, we can communicate to our kids that their efforts aren’t enough. They didn’t get their work done quickly enough, accurately enough, or agreeably enough. We don’t even have to say the words. We can frown or sigh or give them a backhanded compliment like “Well, at least you did better than you did before.” Colossians 3:21 references this: “Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.” I believe this is speaking to fathers who have a “not enough” attitude. God is an encourager. Psalm 94:18-19 reads “When I thought, ‘My foot slips,’ Your steadfast love, O LORD, helped me up. When the cares of my heart are many, Your consolations cheer my soul.”
Not enough thinking is discouraging. But a second side effect is that it’s perpetual.
We will never get to a place where we feel that we’re enough. Sometimes that’s because of past experiences. We may have had a parent or a boss or another person in our life who was never pleased with our efforts. Even if that person is no longer in our lives, we may have taken on their role in saying “not enough.”
Another reason it’s perpetual is because we always compare ourselves to people who are doing more than we are. Social research tells us that we sometimes compare ourselves to people who aren’t doing as well as we are. We might compare ourselves to a brand-new homeschooler so we feel more competent. But much of the time we compare up. We choose the homeschool mom we know who seems to have it all together. She has more kids than you and makes healthy meals and runs the co-op. You lack in comparison. You don’t understand why, so you default to you’re just not trying hard enough.
This is especially destructive when we compare our kids. Her kids are readers who excel in sports, win at Bible bees, and have published novels. You may decide your kids could do the same, but they’re just not trying hard enough. Again, even if we don’t say it out loud, our kids can feel the tyranny and end up being discouraged.
A third reason not-enough thinking is perpetual is because it’s a marketing strategy. If we felt that we were and had enough, sales of all kinds of things would plummet. Beauty products, clothing, supplements, cars, home goods, and more are sold on the premise that we are currently not enough. In order to avoid this marketing, you would have to be off the grid. But unless we deal with not-enough thinking, we will always be bearing the burden of it.
Not-enough thinking is discouraging and perpetual. It’s also identity theft.
I hope you’ve never experienced true identity theft. Whether you have or have not, you know that it’s expensive, time-consuming, and emotionally draining to correct.
My husband has to have his ID scanned to enter some public schools for his job. There is a man with his same name who pops up on the scan every time. The man has been charged with numerous felonies. Because they share a name and the scanning program the schools use is very basic, the administrators take lots of time to verify my husband’s identity before they let him in–even when they have screened him before!
We have an identity theft problem too. The enemy tells us we are someone we are not. And when we think we have made our true identity known, back he comes to question us. 1 Corinthians 6:11 talks about the sinners we used to be–the not enough person we were. And every time that former identity comes back up, we may be discouraged. We might be motivated to clean up that past identity by being better and working harder. But working for a tyrant is always exhausting, even when we are the tyrant.
Imagine how much trouble my husband’s ID problem would be if he wasn’t sure he was not the man convicted of crimes. If he lacked confidence or acted ashamed, the school administrators would probably throw him out. Yet we often lack confidence and have shame about our identities.
Breaking Free from the Tyranny
I hope you’re motivated to break free. First, we can go from discouragement to encouragement by giving up on “not-enough” coaching. Using a What’s Better List as I shared in a recent episode can be a great antidote. I had gotten away from using it and so my “not-enough” coach decided to fill in.
Be intentional about finding and praising yourself and your kids for any steps in the right direction. Praise is a more powerful motivator than punishment. I started a new and challenging home workout. The instructor has us clap for ourselves at the end and I gladly do it. I am worthy of praise for doing a hard thing. Give yourself a little applause for your efforts. Then envision Hebrews 12:1: “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” I like to see my brothers and sisters in Christ literally cheering me on. I and many other retired homeschoolers are cheering you on too. Finally, with respect to discouragement, correct yourself every time you think or say the equivalent of ‘not enough.’ Replace it with “I’m making progress.” When someone compliments you, simply say thank you.
We can break free from the perpetual nature of not-enough thinking by focusing on our own work. Kids who take tests in a classroom are told to keep their eyes on their own paper. In the same way, our eyes need to be on our own work. I love what Galatians 6:3-5 says: “For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor. For each will have to bear his own load.” We each have our own work and circumstances chosen by God specifically for us. It’s silly to compare when only God can review our efforts.
When it comes to marketing, many times we are drawn to the promise of a product or approach to make us happy. Watching videos on minimalism has helped me with this by reminding me of the psychology marketers use to convince us we are not enough. When you know the manipulation is coming, it’s much easier to resist. We can also avoid the marketing that really pushes our buttons by unsubscribing and getting offline. I used to love watching HGTV. But I noticed that I started to think that my house was horrible and had to be completely remodeled. Now that I don’t watch those shows, I am content. Do you need to stop watching homeschool influencers who have you feeling like your homeschool needs a complete makeover?
With respect to identity, we want to remember who and Whose we are. We can never be good enough through our own efforts. This doesn’t mean we don’t work. I think of it like playing a game that’s already been won. Many times when I played tennis on a league, my partner and I won the match, but there was more time to play for fun. I found that because I was so relaxed, I played even better when it didn’t count. That’s how we can homeschool. God has already ensured our success by giving us His power. He already has a plan to give our children a hope and a future. Now we can relax and enjoy the process without fear.
When the voice within us or outside of us says we can’t relax or we’ll fail, we must meditate on the truth. Write Scriptures that speak to you like Romans 8:31-39: What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
The truth is that without the grace of God, my husband could be the convicted felon. And you and I are NOT enough without the power of Christ in us. But if Jesus is your Savior, you are a new creation and you were created to do good works. He is the strength in our weakness, so we can boast about being not enough as Paul did. I hope this encourages you as it does me to break free from the tyranny of not enough.
Helping Kids Who Feel Different Find Confidence
Jun 11, 2024
Show notes
Hey, homeschoolers! I am excited about today’s episode, not only because of the topic that I think addresses a real need we have as parents, but also about my guest.
I experienced the pain of feeling different as a child and so did my kids. There’s different good and different bad, right? But kids don’t often like any kind of difference that makes them feel alone. How can we help our kids through that? That’s the topic of the conversation I had with Ali Gilkeson.
Ali is a member of the popular Christian folk band Rend Collective. If you’re like me and you aren’t good with band names, you’ll likely recognize their hit song “My Lighthouse.” A gifted communicator, Ali began to travel around Ireland speaking to young people in her early twenties. She is the mother of three children she has raised partly on the road, starting when each one was six weeks old. She and the other members of Rend Collective, including her husband, Gareth Gilkeson, are the founders of Rend Co. Kids, a platform dedicated to creating music that children under the age of thirteen can sing and find hope in. She currently lives in Nashville, Tennessee with her family.
Ali is down-to-earth and relatable and her new children’s book My Lighthouse is absolutely beautiful. I will be adding it to my library for future grandchildren. Here’s my talk with Ali.
How to Protect Your Kids from Explicit Content Online
May 21, 2024
Show notes
Hey, homeschoolers! This is one of the topics I have been asked to talk about over the years but I’ve frankly avoided. Not only can it cause problems with website and social media platforms that flag the posts but there are strong opinions about the issue. I don’t like wading into controversial waters if I can help it.
But then I met Kristen Miele at the Great Homeschool Conventions who was speaking about this very issue. I was so impressed with her background and her message that is grounded in research AND the gospel, that I invited her to be a guest on the podcast. We will discuss how we can protect our kids from the harmful effects of pornography with sex education. This is an earbuds episode, though the content is not graphic.
Kristen Miele has been educating youth on the topic of sex for nearly 15 years. She has experience teaching ages 3 and up on content related to sex and sexuality. She is the founder and owner of Sex Ed Reclaimed and has a Bachelor’s and Master’s of Science in Community Health from the University of Illinois. She is also a Certified Health Education Specialist. Kristen has one daughter, Emma Joy and has been married to Anthony since 2012. They live in Columbus, Ohio. Here’s my chat with Kristen.
Kristen Miele shares her journey into sex education and discusses the challenges of protecting children from pornography. She emphasizes the importance of starting early and having open conversations with kids about healthy relationships, puberty, and the dangers of pornography. Kristen has created resources, including age-appropriate videos and workbooks, to help parents educate their children about sex in a God-honoring way. She encourages parents to reclaim sex education and be proactive in teaching their kids before the culture does.
Helping Daughters Deal With Comparison
Apr 23, 2024
Show notes
Hey, homeschoolers! If you have a teen daughter, I think this episode is a must-listen. I interview Shannon Popkin and Lee Niehuis, authors of Comparison Girl for Teens, and I haven’t been able to stop talking about it. There is so much wisdom here about our girls and how to help them manage comparison and friendship in a God-honoring way.
Shannon Popkin invites you to drink deeply of God’s story, and live like it’s true. Shannon’s books include Control Girl, Comparison Girl, Comparison Girl for Teens (2024), and Shaped by God’s Promises(2024). Shannon also hosts the Live Like It’s True Bible podcast and has been featured on Revive Our Hearts, FamilyLife Today, The Gospel Coalition, and Proverbs 31. She’s happy to be sharing life with Ken, who makes her laugh every day. Together, they have the joy of watching their three young-adult kids become the amazing people God created them to be.
Lee Nienhuis is an author, speaker, and Bible teacher. She cohosts the Martha & Mary Show and the You Can Tell the Children podcast with Bible2School. Lee’s books, Brave Moms, Brave Kids and Countercultural Parenting are a clarion call for parents looking to raise wholehearted Christ followers. Lee and her husband, Mike, have four kids and live in West Michigan.
In this conversation, Shannon Popkin and Lee Nienhuis discuss the topic of comparison and its impact on teenage girls. They share personal experiences and insights on how comparison relates to anxiety and depression. They also discuss the role of family and church background in shaping a girl’s self-perception. The conversation highlights the importance of parents in helping their daughters avoid the pitfalls of comparison and offers practical advice on how to do so. The speakers also introduce their book, ‘Comparison Girl,’ and provide additional resources for further exploration.
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It’s not too early to plan for homeschool retirement! Here are my best tips for preparing for this season now.
Hey, homeschoolers! I’ve always been fascinated by life change, thus my pursuit of a career in psychology. But psychology alone didn’t produce the changes I desired in my life. And what’s funny to me is that I can only share steps for how to change your homeschool life in hindsight. I didn’t have a plan. So if you’d like some things to change in your homeschool life, stay tuned for what I learned along the way.
Hey, homeschoolers! I grew up in a rural area where no one I knew took dance classes. Dance was confined to occasional, awkward PE classes. Our nieces were into competitive dance and acro, however, so when I had a preschool-aged daughter of my own, I was excited to enroll her in dance.
Hey, homeschoolers! Whether you are interested in motivating yourself or your children, understanding the three motivational states described in Mark Forster’s book 
Hey, homeschoolers!
Hey, homeschoolers! This is one of the topics I have been asked to talk about over the years but I’ve frankly avoided. Not only can it cause problems with website and social media platforms that flag the posts but there are strong opinions about the issue. I don’t like wading into controversial waters if I can help it.
