the Chumpcast | Nerd News & Movie Reviews

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The Mitchells vs The Machines and Food Disrespect - Episode 244 May 10, 2021

Show notes

Whhhhaats up everyone and welcome to episode 244 of The Chumpcast! We weren’t about to haul our happy asses to a theater for the billionth Jason Statham movie. Luckily for us, we caught one of the best movies of 2021 on Netflix instead. It’s The Mitchells vs The Machines.

You can find us on all social media platforms @thechumpcast. You can also call or text us at 847-920-6107.

TIMESTAMPS!

1:30 - The new Resident Evil game is just a big ol girl with the face of Thomas the Tank Engine who chases you around and impales you with her wolverine nails

5:20 - Brick lied about hating baseball and we have THE DOCUMENTS TO PROVE IT! We can also prove that ketchup belongs on a hot dog and that you should get over yourselves.

8:35 - What’s more disrespectful? Slapping food out of someone’s hand, or punching an idle sandwich? A debate that truly has no winner.

12:35 - VOICEMAIL! Cop Mike has a movie recommendation with some star power behind it

16:00 - RECOMMENDATIONS! That’s right. We moved it.

25:25 - TRAILERS! A Quiet Place part 2 needed to remind you, so did Stranger Things, Awake starring Gina Rodriguez is coming to Netflix, and Tyrese is still acting in Rogue Hostage.

38:00 - Marvel says “Thank you” with a goosebump inducing recap and teasers of upcoming features

41:00 - Paramount+ REALLY wants your money, and they think that Mark Wahlberg can get it for them.

44:10 - HBO is making a pirate based comedy starring Taika Waititi and Rhys Darby because they know that you will watch this shit

46:20 - BEST MAN ALIVE! A lawmaker thinks that distracted driving laws don’t apply to him, Mark thinks that bees can save us from Covid, and Brick found an armed school bus or a school bus with arms or something I honestly don’t know.

56:55 - REVIEW! The Mitchells vs The Machines is the movie that we didn’t know we needed and probably wouldn’t have watched if it was a theatrical release. Thanks, covid?

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Thanks to Broke For Free for the intro song "If". You can find more of them at the Free Music Archive here.

Without Remorse and Arny Palmies with Vokky - Episode 243 May 03, 2021

Show notes

Whhhhaats up everyone and welcome to episode 243 of The Chumpcast! The whole crew is back in one place to discuss the NFL draft, memorable theater experiences, alternative podcast names, and of course Tom Clancy’s Without Remorse starring Michael B. Jordan.

You can find us on all social media platforms @thechumpcast. You can also call or text us at 847-920-6107.

TIMESTAMPS!

1:00 - BAD DAY TO BE AN ARNY PALMY AROUND THE BOYZ plus the best backyard activities

6:15 - Has there ever been a good video game made from a terrible movie property?

7:10 - TEXT QUESTION! Detective Vile asks: What would we rename the show if we wanted to be taken seriously?

10:00 - TEXT QUESTION! Uncle Kyle asks: What are your most memorable theater experiences?

14:30 - We are unqualified to talk about the NFL draft, so obviously we break down what everything means

24:30- TRAILERS! THE TOMORROW WAR pits Chris Pratt against aliens, but he has some people from the future to back him up

27:15 - TRAILERS! SWEET TOOTH is coming to Netflix soon, and it’s some combination of weird and incredible. To be determined….

29:50 - TRAILERS! In weird fever dream news, AMERICA: THE MOTION PICTURE will haunt your dreams

32:20 - TRAILERS! A weird heist movie in the same vein as FAST, but it has Pierce Brosnan and tons of weird shit

34:15 - TRAILERS! Steven Spielberg’s WEST SIDE STORY is way outside of our specialty

35:30 - All FAST and FURIOUS movies are going to be played in major cinema chains leading up to F9

38:458 - Invincible has been renewed for 2 more seasons on Amazon Prime as Robert Kirkman continues printing money

43:30 - BEST MAN ALIVE! Mark awards a man for walking a super long distance in a mascot costume, Brick finds a Kiwi who calls out potholes in his own unique fashion, and Smithers talks about someone who has already been addressed on this very segment.51:45 - REVIEW! WITHOUT REMORSE starring Michael B Jordan is exactly what you expect from a Tom Clancy flick on Amazon

1:05:50 - RECOMMENDATIONS! Brick is reverting back to grade school with the new release of Pokemon Snap, Mark ANTI-recommends This Heard and Seen, and Smithers is pumped to watch The Mitchells vs The Machines

Thanks to Broke For Free for the intro song "If". You can find more of them at the Free Music Archive here.

Mortal Kombat and Brick the Haole - Episode 242 Apr 26, 2021

Show notes

Whhhhaats up everyone and welcome to episode 242 of The Chumpcast! Haole Brick is back in town after a luxurious vacation, but Mark is still jet-setting to one of the Dakotas. Sucks for him, because he missed out on Mortal Kombat.

You can find us on all social media platforms @thechumpcast. You can also call or text us at 847-920-6107.

TIMESTAMPS!

1:00 - Everyone buckle in while Brick talks about the sick vacation that he took while we all worked for the last week and a half

4:55 - The next pandemic is already among us, and it’s gender reveal parties where people blow shit up (also autoplay on websites)

9:40 - TRAILERS! Zack Snyder’s Army of the Dead is definitely going to feature zombies getting freaky with each other because Zack Snyder

16:05 - TRAILERS! After a long wait, Love Death & Robots is returning for TWO MORE SEASONS

19:05 - TRAILERS! Shang Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings is the Kung Fu movie we need right now

24:40 - TRAILERS! Werewolves Within stars Brick’s fave comedy actor Sam Richardson and the AT&T girl

29:10 - TRAILERS! Apparently they still make Conjuring movies?

31:35 - Vin Diesel is going to star in a Rock’em Sock’em Robots movie that will win all of the Razzies

33:15 - Comic conventions are returning. Do we deserve this yet? Will anyone go?

36:20 - BEST MAN ALIVE! The king of slacking off is an old Italian man collecting paychecks for 15 years and a couple that feels that they are entitled to use your mansion for their corny wedding

45:25 - REVIEW! Mortal Kombat brings the heat as long as you set the right expectations for it

1:05:50 - RECOMMENDATIONS! Brick loves Ben Affleck so much that he saw The Way Back and he still shills for Apple+. Also, Smithers is still obsessed with Sasquatch documentaries

Thanks to Broke For Free for the intro song "If". You can find more of them at the Free Music Archive here.

Nobody and Beloved Family Pet Price Tags - Episode 241 Apr 12, 2021

Show notes

Whhhhaats up everyone and welcome to episode 241 of The Chumpcast! Welcome to the episode where I try to get Mark to sell his dog to Cruella DeVille. Also, Nobody starring Bob Odenkirk.

You can find us on all social media platforms @thechumpcast. You can also call or text us at 847-920-6107.

TIMESTAMPS!

0:45 - Anxiety! The Musical starring our very own Smithers

1:50 - Someone is offering Mark $750,000 for his dog. He’s probably going to take it, right?

5:25 - Trying to explain why watching The Masters isn’t the most boring thing on the planet

7:50 - VOICEMAIL! Detective Vile asks our thoughts on Smart Glasses like the new Razer Anzu set

13:10 - The painful truth: Your wired or wireless mouse isn’t the reason you suck at online video games

14:15 - TRAILERS! The Long Halloween shows Batman tracking a serial killer celebrating holidays with MURDER

17:25 - MORE TRAILERS! Jupiter’s Legacy from the mind of Mark Millar, coming to Netflix in May

19:45 - Paul Rudd plus adorable little marshmallow men can’t cover the fact that Mark hasn’t seen Ghostbusters

23:15 - Fine, also trailers for Those Who Wish Me Dead and Mainstream

26:45 - HBO Max might be regretting their simultaneous release schedule and could switch things up a bit

30:00 - Sony and Netflix have a new carriage rights deal that might spell trouble for premium cable networks

33:00 - A miniature BEST MAN ALIVE for a miniature Chumpcast episode featuring Doritos thieves and lying Zookeepers

35:45 - Oh god no we’re running out of time...QUICK! REVIEW NOBODY WITH BOB ODENKIRK!

42:40 - RECOMMENDATIONS! Chill beats for anxiety-ridden weirdos and Search Party on HBO Max

Thanks to Broke For Free for the intro song "If". You can find more of them at the Free Music Archive here.

Godzilla vs Kong vs ADHD - Episode 240 Apr 05, 2021

Show notes

Whhhhaats up everyone and welcome to episode 240 of The Chumpcast! Please join me as we desperately attempt to talk Brick off the ledge that is reality while we discuss pop culture happenings. Also, Godzilla vs Kong.

You can find us on all social media platforms @thechumpcast. You can also call or text us at 847-920-6107.

TIMESTAMPS!

1:00 - What is the best time zone and why does Mountain Time suck?

2:15 - Stupid Sexy Flanders will haunt your dreams

5:00 - Brick is basically a real life crab right now, scuttling across the sand

7:30 - TRAILERS - Space Jam 2 is the most obvious nostalgia cash-grab of all time

10:40 - Do humans have the longest hair, or is King Kong showing us all up?

14:15 - TRAILERS! Season 5 of Rick & Morty is the only thing keeping Mark alive

17:15 - TRAILERS! The Bad Batch is coming Ma y 4th, so get your ragtag crew prepared (but also Brick and Mark hate Star Wars)

19:00 - TRAILERS! Things Seen And Heard probably doesn’t deserve to be seen, or heard from

20:30 - TRAILERS! More Suicide Squad means more of them ruining the plot for us!

24:45 - TRAILERS! Spiral looks like more recycled SAW footage with Chris Rock standing over it

26:20 - The birth of the Snyder Cut has signaled the death of The New Gods and The Trench, according to Warner Brothers

29:05 - Our old friend Donald Faison will play Professor Utonium in the live-action PowerPuff Girls reboot

31:10 - Oscar Winner Russell Crowe will make a guest appearance in Thor: Love and Thunder

33:00 - How many nerds will make the trek to SDCC this year considering that it’s happening Thanksgiving weekend?

36:00 - Rian Johnson is getting PAID to produce his Knives Out sequels on Netlfix, but are there other sequels that we want to see them produce?

41:20 - BEST MAN ALIVE! Brick and Mark will fall for any April Fools prank and Smithers wishes he was a normal person who could do cool shit with machine learning.

49:10 - MOVIE REVIEW! Godzilla vs Kong vs our opinions vs my attention span

1:10:00 - RECOMMENDATIONS! Second Star to the Right kicked off and it fucking rules, Pineapple Naturdays, Brick is constantly falling for April Fools pranks, and Mark wants to be a Concrete Cowboy

Thanks to Broke For Free for the intro song "If". You can find more of them at the Free Music Archive here.

The Snyder Cut and Airplane Toots - Episode 239 Mar 29, 2021

Show notes

Whhhhaats up everyone and welcome to episode 239 of The Chumpcast! I’m dedicating this episode to all of the petulant fans out there who have been crying on Twitter for the last 3 years. It’s finally here….Mark’s story about farting on airplanes. Also, The Snyder Cut.

You can find us on all social media platforms @thechumpcast. You can also call or text us at 847-920-6107.

TIMESTAMPS!

1:00 - Mark, known roulette guy and boring gambler, is currently between extravagant vacations so he is blessing us with his presence

5:30- VOICEMAIL! Kyle asks “What do we need a vaccine for in everyday life?”

10:10 - “Now I am become death, destroyer of toilets” - J. Robert Oppenheimer, probably

13:20 - Flying metal tubes that imprison you and 100 others with a billion farts and recirculated air

18:15 - Our good friend and Lever Puller Joe is launching a new show on Twitch! Check out Second Star to the Right and @secondstarshow

24:45 - TRAILERS! Made For Love looks better with every new trailer we get

27:10 - TRAILERS! The Nevers looks like the X-Men were transported back to the 1600s. Does HBO still save their best shows for Sunday night on their main channels?

32:10 - TRAILERS! Mark thinks that In The Earth could be the next iconic horror flick

36:25 - TRAILERS! Stowaway is coming to Netflix and will star Anna Kendrick, Toni Collette, and Daniel Dae Kim and may not suck if they actually decide to let them kill each other

40:30 - TRAILERS! What can we say about James Gunn’s The Suicide Squad that the amazing trailer didn’t cover?

47:15 - Unsurprisingly, Keanu Reeves will star in a live-action AND anime depiction of his comic, BRZRKR

49:20 - Disney has finally caved and as we all predicted, Black Widow will release on Disney+ Premiere

54:50 - Pierce Brosnan is going to play Dr. Fate and we don’t know what to think about it

57:25 - Badass director Chad Stahelski is slated to bring Ghosts of Tsushima to the big screen

59:00 - BEST MAN ALIVE! But first, rest in peace to one of the greatest to ever bring you dry humor, Jessica Walter. Mark brings us a passive aggressive employer with memory loss, Brick reminds us where the Suez Canal is, and Smithers has an archetypical Florida Woman story

1:08:50 - Sigh...The Snyder Cut. Spoilers, obviously

1:31:50 - MARK SCREWED UP POST-APOCALYPTIC AGAIN! Anyways, back to Snyder Cut

1:40:20 - RECOMMENDATIONS! We’re all slap happy at this point. Just go watch Invincible.

Thanks to Broke For Free for the intro song "If". You can find more of them at the Free Music Archive here.

Happily and Wizard Soldiers vs Hitler - Episode 238 Mar 22, 2021

Show notes

Whhhhaats up everyone and welcome to episode 238 of The Chumpcast! Two Thirds of us are coming to you LIVE from beautiful Las Vegas while Mark is still passed out on a rooftop somewhere. Not to worry, as Brick and I will always have you covered with a movie review. This time, it’s a really weird one by the name of Happily, starring Joel McHale and Kerry Bishe.

You can find us on all social media platforms @thechumpcast. You can also call or text us at 847-920-6107.

TIMESTAMPS!

1:30 - LIVE FROM LAS VEGAS MAYBE! WHO KNOES?!?!

5:25 - The Red Rifle Andy Freakin Dalton is coming to save the Chicago Bears

9:05 - The best internet video of all time of the week is a Power Rangers fight commentary

13:30 - TRAILERS! What if Sasquatch was the most prolific serial killer in modern times? What if aliens are really here all the time, but they just jump between dimensions? What if we’re all crackpots?

18:15 - TRAILERS! What if WB just released Godzilla vs Kong all at once instead of a billion trailers?

22:55 - TRAILERS! Concrete Cowboy has a STACKED cast ft Idris Elba, Caleb McGlaughlin, and Method Man

25:45 - KINDA TRAILERS! We found the best part of Wonder Woman 1984, and it was in the blooper reel

30:35 - Humperdink Bumblesnatch wants to show that he can play a WIDE range of magicians

34:25 - BEST MAN ALIVE! A mother decided to deepfake some of her daughter’s friends as twisted revenge, blockchain farts for sale, and a woman who held a very special birthday celebration

45:20 - REVIEW! Happily stars Joel McHale and Kerry Bishe as their group of friends despises how much they love each other, with strange consequences!

1:02:10 - RECOMMENDATIONS! Falcon and Winter Soldier is here to save us from the weird spring doldrums, and Invincible comes to Amazon Prime this Friday!

Thanks to Broke For Free for the intro song "If". You can find more of them at the Free Music Archive here.

Raya and the Last Dragon plus No More Mooching - Episode 237 Mar 15, 2021

Show notes

Whhhhaats up everyone and welcome to episode 237 of The Chumpcast! The gang's all here to watch Mark struggle as he tries to choose between all of the mansions that he’ll be staying in with his bros. We’re super empathetic. Also if you hang around, you’ll catch our review of the latest Disney masterpiece, Raya and the Last Dragon.

You can find us on all social media platforms @thechumpcast. You can also call or text us at 847-920-6107.

TIMESTAMPS!

0:55 - Mark is faced with the most difficult decision that anyone has ever had to make in the history of existence

4:10 - Is anyone actually going to miss Pepe Le Pew, or do people just like to complain?

9:20 - Mark was gone last week because he was shredding the gnar

11:35 - TRAILERS! Jeffrey Dean Morgan takes on the Virgin Mary in THE UNHOLY, we try to remember all of Sam Raimi’s career, horror characters under three and a half feet tall, and Johnny Depp will tell us who killed Biggie Smalls in CITY OF LIES

22:30 - Netflix might be cracking down on password sharing and you moochers are boned

34:25 - Meanwhile, Disney+ crossed 100M users in just over one year after launching

35:20 - James Cameron is a petty little bitch and no one cares about his stupid Avatar movies

38:20 - Someone at HBO Max definitely got fired for posting The Snyder Cut instead of Tom & Jerry

40:10 - Mark tries to cash in his Super Bowl bet winnings in order to ruin someone’s life

41:15 - Cocaine Bear. COCAINE BEAR!

45:20 - BEST MAN ALIVE! Fake Rick and Morty branded vape pens seized at O’Hare, getting your UPS driver to be absolutely SHREDDED, and a bean dip bath tub featuring Lana Del Rey

56:55 - REVIEW! Raya and the Last Dragon is Disney’s latest success and made us like Awkwafina

1:10:15 - RECOMMENDATIONS! Brick is brushing up on the LOOOORE of Marvel Legends, Mark is reading the crowd-funded Keanu Reeves comic Berserker, and Smithers is re-watching Mr. Robot and checking out Devil May Care on SyFy

Thanks to Broke For Free for the intro song "If". You can find more of them at the Free Music Archive here.

Coming 2 America and Video Games are for Dorks - Episode 236 Mar 08, 2021

Show notes

Whhhhaats up everyone and welcome to episode 236 of The Chumpcast! It had been a while since we took a look at the video games coming our way, so let’s preview some games that could resurrect the industry with our special guest and League of Legends poser, Wub Wubbington. We also review the much anticipated (33 years later) sequel to the Eddie Murphy classic Coming 2 America.

You can find us on all social media platforms @thechumpcast. You can also call or text us at 847-920-6107.

TIMESTAMPS!

1:30 - The way to keep your franchise going is clearly to kill off some of the best characters (I’m looking at you, Kingsman)

3:15 - Warner Bros is punishing all the furries out there by un-sexyfying Lola Bunny in the new Space Jam

5:00 - Remember conventions? Do you miss them? Too bad! E3 is cancelled, you idiot!

10:15 - Wub has a Ms. Pac Man tournament to get to, so let’s fly through this video game preview. What’s missing from the current landscape?

14:30 - Halo Infinite might be in development hell and that spells big trouble for Microsoft. What are they going to do with all of these development companies they’re buying?

25:40 - Can WB Games bring us a Harry Potter game that doesn’t rely on legos to make it fun?

28:00 - Knockout City is a battle royale “shooter” that turns your murderfest into a game of dodgeball

30:30 - Back 4 Blood looks like (and most likely is) the spiritual sequel to Left 4 Dead from some of the original developers

36:50 - Can Rockstar keep pushing the envelope with a new Grand Theft Auto game?

42:00 - “Honey I Joined a Cult” tells you everything you need to know about it by the name alone

45:30 - TRAILERS! Thunder Force is exactly what we expect from Melissa McCarthy, Without Remorse gives us Michael B. Jordan on a rampage of vengeance, 15 Things you Didn’t Know About Bigfoot marks the return of the mockumentary, Made for Love because we need all of the Cristin Millioti that we can get, and FX gets in on the streaming service teaser pissing contest

1:02:50 - Why is Hugh Grant being allowed anywhere near the next Dungeons and Dragons movie?

1:05:45 - The Daily Mail has photos confirming the return of Matt Damon and Sam Niell will reprise their roles from Thor: Ragnarok

1:07:45 - Entertainment Weekly released a deep dive showing off stills for the Space Jam reboot and LeBron James thinks we’re all stupid

1:11:30 - BEST MAN ALIVE! Aliens are back and the government doesn’t even bother denying it anymore. Also, they might be infiltrating the NHL…

1:17:35 - REVIEW! King Akeem has returned after 33 years for Coming 2 America, and its available now on Amazon Prime

1:29:20 - RECOMMENDATIONS! Brick is still insisting that everyone play the Hitman series of games, and Smithers wasn’t all that impressed by the WandaVision finale

Thanks to Broke For Free for the intro song "If". You can find more of them at the Free Music Archive here.

I Care a Lot and Zombie Anatomy - Episode 235 Mar 01, 2021

Show notes

Whhhhaats up everyone and welcome to episode 235 of The Chumpcast! I know I say this a lot, but I mean it this time. This might be the dumbest episode we’ve ever done. All of the idiocy culminates with a movie that we all hated but simultaneously enjoyed, which is so fitting for a stupid episode. I Care A Lot is on Netflix now.

You can find us on all social media platforms @thechumpcast. You can also call or text us at 847-920-6107.

TIMESTAMPS!

1:10 - Tomato ass Brick is having an allergic reaction to all these hot takes

4:05 - Nobody is asking about Lady Gaga’s dog walker because everyone is focused on the wellbeing of her dogs

6:30 - Are things looking up, just like….generally? Are things maybe possibly kinda getting better?

7:50 - If you don’t look at the gold after you mine it, you are an unadulterated sociopath

13:00 - No one appreciates a podcast producer

14:30 - TRAILERS! MODOK might actually not suck and will definitely be R-rated

20:00 - MORE TRAILERS! Pixar’s next flick will be a merman induced tear-fest called Luca,

24:15 - MORE TRAILERS! The Rugrats are back and they look way different. Is this better, or does it crap all over your nostalgia? Also, Brick calls Reptar a fatass

26:40 - MORE TRAILERS! Zach Snyder’s Army of the Dead comes May 21st and will almost certainly contain zombie boobs

32:00 - STILL MORE TRAILERS! Are Solar Opposites and other side-projects depriving us of more Rick and Morty?

36:40 - ARE YOU SICK OF TRAILERS YET? Our resident YA expert Mark weighs in on more Netflix novel adaptations

43:15 - Tom Holland’s next Spider-Man flick has announced the films title so we are obviously going to try to discern the entire plot from it

49:45 - Disney+ dropped release dates for everything that we’re looking forward to for the rest of 2021 (also let’s remember MoviePass!)

57:55 - BEST MAN ALIVE! A man (perhaps HERO of a man) goes to extreme lengths to avoid going back to work, a birthday boy is in our midst, and young Florida Karens who think that they deserve a vaccine FIRST!

1:06:45 - REVIEW TIME! I Care a Lot is now streaming on Netflix. It has a lot of shitty people doing shitty things, but somehow it was not shitty

1:31:40 - RECOMMENDATIONS! Mark read The Department of Truth by James Tynion IV, Brick is in love with Ted Lasso, and Smithers got a little choked up over a tribute to Enda Krabapple on The Simpsons

Thanks to Broke For Free for the intro song "If". You can find more of them at the Free Music Archive here.

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